All language subtitles for Unman.Wittering.And.Zigo.1971.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Yet, O Lord God most Holy,
O Lord most mighty,

O holy and most merciful savior,

deliver us not into the bitter pains
of eternal death.

For as much as it hath pleased
Almighty God of his great mercy

to take unto himself the soul
of our dear brother here departed,

we therefore commit his body
to the ground.

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.

Although Chantry is an old foundation,
I think you'll find it very much up-to-date.

Small, of course, only three hundred boys,
but all the more compact.

Laboratories, playing fields...

Do you play any games,
Mr. Ebony?

I have tennis and a little hockey,
Headmaster.

There's the new building,

but, of course, the Lower 5-B spends
most of its time in the old school.

- Lower 5-B, that's my form, is it?
- For the rest of the term, yes.

You'll find they need a firm hand.
They're at an awkward stage.

Pelham always had them
well under control.

- Pelham, he was my predecessor, was he?
- Yes.

This is the Assistant Masters' wing.
But you, of course, are married.

On the whole, we have
very few married masters here,

so, naturally, there's very little
in the way of accommodation for them.

But I understand that the Bursar has placed
you and your wife in the old cottage.

Yes, yes, we're most grateful.

Mmm. Well, you must bring your wife
up to dinner one night

after you've settled in.

Pelham had the cottage before you.
I daresay he left it neat enough.

Pelham was married, then?

- No.
- Oh.

- Morning, sir.
- Sir.

I'm glad the cottage is so near
to the school.

I'm very anxious to become part
of Chantry School.

Dr. Samuel Godolphin, a great man.

"Docilitatis proles auctoritas."

"Authority is the child of obedience."

His motto.

Yes, he made Chantry what it is today.

- Oh, Mr. Farthingale.
- Headmaster.

This is Mr. Ebony,

who's come to take Mr. Pelham's place
for the remainder of the term.

Cary Farthingale, who teaches Art.

And third form French.
How do you do?

- Oh, are you busy?
- Er, no.

Then perhaps you wouldn't mind showing
Mr. Ebony round the rest of the school.

- A pleasure.
- I'll see you later, Ebony, at 2:30.

- We'll go over your timetable together.
- Thank you very much indeed, Headmaster.

Good.

It must be a peculiar knack
that only headmasters possess,

always finding a chap when he's idle.

Whenever I want to make use
of anybody, they're always busy.

I daresay I could find
my own way around if you...

No, you need an experienced guide.

- We'll go through the new school.
- Thank you.

The style of writing in this
is remote.

He's concerned only slightly
about his characters...

- The Petition of Right, Flidger?
- Don't know, sir.

...primo lapsa cadunt
folia trans pontum fugat...

- Anyone? Simmons?
- 1603, sir.

The Petition of Right was 1628.

- 16...?
- 28.

- 16...?
- 28.

...there are down in hell...

...tot milia formosarum...

many thousands of beautiful women.

As one day, Foxwell,
you'll find out for yourself.

There are no beautiful women
in this hell, I'll tell you that.

Sounds just like my old school.

We'll go on to Lower 5-B now.
Lucky you've only got half a term to do.

Well, I'm rather hoping to stay on.

Mad! ls there nothing else
you can do?

Well, I've just done three years
in advertising, that's mad as you like.

I've always wanted to come
to a place like this.

Ah, the knight errant fantasy.

- What's that?
- What you are.

A chap who rides out of the real world
in search of fairy castles,

and finds a desolate tower
at the arse-end of nowhere.

You don't like this place, do you?
Why not?

- It's not desolate, at any rate.
- What?

- I said it's not desolate at any rate.
- Only for the spirit.

Winstanley. What is known
as the best type of master.

Senior Classics.
Teaches the older men.

- "Men"?
- Oh, there are no boys at this school.

They call themselves men,
and they insist upon it.

Why not?
They think like men, talk like men.

Here we are...

They even smell like men.

- So this is mine, is it?
- Lower 5-B, all yours.

I daresay there are a few
of Pelham's things in the desk,

but his heirs won't grudge them to you.

- What did he die of?
- An accident, last week.

Went for a walk,
sea mist came down,

went too near the edge of the cliff,
fell over.

- What a terrible thing.
- Or a merciful release.

- Was he ill?
- No, just sick of Lower 5-B.

God, are they as bad as that?

This form is a kind of filter.

You either have clever, small boys
on the way through,

or very stupid older ones

waiting for their parents to realize
that they're wasting their money.

It's not a happy mixture.

Feeding time at the zoo.
Come on.

Did you ever wonder, as a boy, what
delicious things the staff were eating?

- Yes, yes, I suppose I did.
- Now you're going to find out.

Benedic domine nobis
et hic donis tuis.

Amen.

Sorry we're late, Mr. Winstanley.
I'd like you to meet Mr. Ebony.

- John Ebony.
- The new warder.

- Glad to meet you, Mr. er...
- Ebony, John Ebony.

Ebony.

Fashioned from the finest Aberdeen
granite, and guaranteed to live forever.

Um, gentlemen,
this is Mr. John Ebony,

Messrs. Clackworth,
Stretton and Blisterine.

How do you do?

A good day, Harry?
We watched you at work.

- Oh, yes?
- You, too, Stretton.

I appear to have survived it.

One of the damned.
He loves literature but hates teaching.

That's a pity. I want to teach
more than anything else in the world.

Lipstrob, Muffett, Munn,
Orris, Root, Terhew, Trimble,

Unman, Wittering
and Zigo, who is absent.

There, that is your list, Mr. Ebony.

Your first period is at 9:00 tomorrow.

History, followed by Latin and English,
and, uh... so on.

Oh, I should perhaps explain
that the Assistant Science Master

is unwell this week, so you will also have
to take Lower 5-B for Chemistry.

Oh, uh... I didn't realize I'd be...

Your reference specifies
a knowledge of science up to 'O' Level.

- Oh, yes, yes. No...
- Ah, good.

Is there anything special
I should know about them?

No, no, there shouldn't be
any problem.

If you do have any difficulty
which you can't deal with,

just, uh... send the boy to me.

Now, I expect you'd like to get back
to the cottage to help your wife.

Yes. Thank you very much indeed,
Headmaster.

Now, if I can be of any assistance,
just let me know.

Thank you.

- Silvia?
- Yeah?

- Hello, love. How was it?
- Fine.

The garage just phoned. The car's going
to be out of action for at least two weeks.

Well, thank heavens for the Bursar's
donation of his bicycle, then.

Well, at least there's
a bit more space now.

I've put the worst of the junk
out in the shed.

I'll go into town tomorrow
and look for some furniture.

Pelham didn't exactly live
in the lap of luxury, did he?

- Pelham?
- The man who was here before.

Well, if he can manage,
I'm sure we can.

Oh, I'll get it sorted out.
Anyway you'll be up at the school all day.

I thought I'd try to get a job.

- A job? What kind of job?
- Oh, I don't know.

But I'll get this place into shape
before I start anything.

There must be something I can do.

Thank you.

Is anything the matter?

No, not really.

I'm a new boy at the school.

It's a bit stuffy.

Strange.

It's bound to be a bit strange,

starting a new job and a new career
at the same time.

Anyway, this kind of school
is a very good start.

- Are you teaching Chemistry?
- Mmm.

Your subject's English.

Well, I teach other subjects as well.
There's a shortage of staff.

- Oh.
- I've got my own form, you know.

Good.

Aggeridge, Ankerton, Borby...
what's that?

Well, that's it, my form, Lower 5-B.

Ah... Bungabine,
Cloistermouth, Cuthbun.

- Hogg.
- Here, sir.

- Lipstrob.
- Sir.

- Muffett.
- Here, sir.

- Munn.
- Here, sir.

- Orris.
- Sir.

- Root.
- Here, sir.

- Terhew.
- Please, sir?

- Yes, uh... your name is...?
- Cuthbun, sir.

Thank you. Yes, Cuthbun?

Well, Mr. Pelham used
to make a joke there, sir.

He used to call them both out together,
Orris Root, you know?

They use it for scenting soap, sir.

We used to answer together, sir,
Root and me.

- Root and I.
- And we all laughed, sir. Haw, haw, haw.

All right, that'll do.

- You're, um...?
- Bungabine, sir.

Bungabine. And you don't need to stand up
every time you talk to me, all right?

But, sir, it's a rule, sir.

Whenever we speak to a master,
we're meant to stand up first, sir.

To show respect, sir.

Well, just the same, stay sitting
from now on, all right? All of you.

- Sir.
- Good.

- Terhew.
- Sir.

- Trimble.
- Here, sir.

- Unman.
- Here, sir.

- Wittering.
- Here, sir.

- And Zigo.
- He's absent, sir.

So I understand.

- He was ill, sir.
- With an unknown disease, sir.

His father's taken him
to Jamaica, sir.

- To recover, sir.
- And when he has, he'll come back, sir.

And that's why his name's still
on the list, sir.

Yes, thank you.

Jamaica's in the Caribbean, sir.

Yes, Cuthbun, I do know that.

- Have you ever been there, sir?
- No, I haven't, no.

- Mr. Pelham went there once, sir.
- Twice.

No, once.
The other time was Trinidad.

He went to Jamaica
the time he went to Trinidad as well.

No, he didn't.

All right, quiet!

It's all very interesting,
but it's not very much to the point.

We've got History this period. Let's see
if we can find out how far you've got.

Who's that?

- You, you, what's your name?
- Wittering, sir.

- Wet Wittering, sir!
- Quiet.

Come out here, Wittering.

Mr. Pelham always called him
Wet Wittering, sir.

Quiet!

- Why did you make all that noise?
- Sir, I was jabbed, sir.

Jabbed?

- With a compass, sir.
- Who jabbed you?

I don't know, sir.

- All right, get back to your place.
- Yes, sir.

- And wipe the ink off your chin.
- Yes, sir.

Now, look, if there's any more fooling
about, there'll be trouble, all right?

Right.

McMorrow and Purdie,
get them out, please. Chapter nine.

All right, all right.

- Now, has anybody read this chapter?
- Yes, sir.

Well, you can tell us about it.

Oh, it's not me, sir,
it's Cuthbun that's read it.

- He's read the lot, sir.
- Yes, sir, the whole book.

Well, now we can all read it.

Now it's about the beginning of
the effective rule by the British in India...

- What are you doing, Aggeridge?
- Opening a window, sir.

Well, you can shut it again.

But Mr. Pelham said it's bad for our lungs
to work in a stuffy atmosphere, sir.

And Aggeridge has to have
good lungs, sir. He's in the second XV.

Shut that window and sit down.

Right, it's about the rule
of the British in India.

After the defeat of the French at...

...Pondicherry.

Wittering, from the top of the chapter,
you begin reading for us.

"In the short period 1765-7
of Clive's governorship, he was...

"he probited... prohibited..."

Excuse me, sir,
I'm afraid this is a mistake.

Mr. Pelham never put Wittering on
to read, sir. He said life was too short.

Mr. Pelham's life was too short.

Quiet!

Now, look, I don't want to crack the whip
on our first morning together.

But, if I have to, I will.
Now no more interruptions.

- But, sir...
- Did you hear me?

But, please, sir,
Mr. Pelham always said...

I don't care
what Mr. Pelham always said.

Oh, sir!

Now, look here...

I realize that Mr. Pelham's death
must have been a great shock to you.

But life must go on,
and there's work to be done.

So, unless we finish this chapter
by the end of this period,

then you'll all stay in
on Saturday afternoon and finish it.

- But, sir, Saturday's a half holiday.
- Yes, Terhew.

And there's a second XV match.

Yes, Aggeridge, so please continue
reading where Wittering left off.

"He prohibited the acceptance of gifts
by officials to augment their salaries.

"These reforms were strongly opposed,
both in England and in India,

"and the antipathy to Clive arising..."

"These charges were never heard
as the native was sentenced to death

"by the Chief Justice
for other criminal offences.

"Many people felt
that this case had been...

"...trumped up to save Hastings
embarrassment

"in his position as governor.

- "But it is extremely unlikely that such..."
- Who's that muttering?

Me, sir.

- He can't help it, sir.
- He says "hypotenuse" all the time, sir.

- He likes the word.
- Mr. Pelham said he was hypotenused by it.

Stop it!

Very well, you've had ample warning.

This form will be kept in
on Saturday afternoon from 2:30.

It's not a good idea, sir.

- Why is that, Cloistermouth?
- Mr. Pelham tried it once, sir.

- The week before last.
- And that's why we killed him, sir.

- Cloistermouth.
- Sir?

- Take this note to the Headmaster.
- Now, sir?

- At once.
- What does it say, sir?

- That you've been insolent.
- But I haven't, sir, only truthful.

- That's right, sir.
- Go on, Cloistermouth.

No, sir.

Then I shall fetch
the Headmaster here.

You'll look an awful fool, sir.

Get out. Get out!

If you hit me, sir,
there'll be a terrific row, sir.

Form masters
aren't allowed to hit us.

- You'll be sacked.
- And he was telling the truth.

I always do, sir.

Honestly, sir.

Very well, Cloistermouth.
If you say so. Sit down.

Perhaps you'd care to tell us exactly
how you killed Mr. Pelham.

Will you really be keeping us in, sir,
on Saturday?

Yes.

All right, don't rush, don't rush!

Cliff rescue next period, sir,
we have to get changed.

The Sergeant gets very angry
if we're late, sir.

Come on, you lads!
Hurry along there!

You're late already!

You three, form a line here.
You four, get the kits.

The rest of you, fall in line here.

- Are they ready?
- Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Thank you, sir.

- Right, are we ready?
- Yes, sir.

Well, let's move.

Come along, get mobile.

Hurry along, there!

Come on, come on, get a move on!

- Hello, sir.
- Hello!

Watch this, sir.

We did kill him, you know.

What are you doing here?

Cliff rescue, sir.
We do it every week.

Yes, I know,
but where's your instructor?

He's having
a craffy snout.

He's a slave of habit, sir.

Mr. Pelham was a slave of habit, too.

Every single evening, he used
to come up here for his walk.

So, the day after
he'd kept us in, we waited for him.

Six of us
around these rocks.

He came up
quite slowly at first, panting a bit.

And he paused at the top
and took out his handkerchief.

And then, we came out
from behind the rocks all round him.

He started to say something.

But we rushed him
and got him on the ground.

Rugger tackle.

His specs came off
and he started lashing out.

So we hit him on the head
with a stone.

- K.O.
- Godoing!

Then we carried him
to the edge and chucked him over.

One, two, three and away.

And there was blood on
the stone, so we chucked that over, too.

- Nobody saw us.
- The perfect crime.

Come on, you lot!
Break's over now, back to work!

Come on, get your fingers out!

- Here's your Telegraph.
- Ah, thank you.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, Harry.

Hello, how's the new boy?

- Fine.
- Very preoccupied today.

- Lower 5-B getting you down already?
- No, not at all.

Right, English Literature.

Take out your poetry books, please.

Just before we begin,

I'd like to say it wouldn't have been
the perfect crime, you know.

Why not, sir?

Well, because if you had done it...

- But, sir, we did do it.
- We did, sir.

Well, then, you would have
spoiled it all by telling me.

Your vanity would've given you away.

But we have told you, sir.

Yes, but then I would've told the police
if I'd believed you,

through the Headmaster, of course.

That wouldn't do you any good, sir.

You wouldn't know
which one of us had done it.

Oh, I'm quite sure the police
would have found that out.

They would've got you one by one
and questioned you.

- We've all got alibis, sir.
- Yes, sir, we really have.

I was in the chapel with Unman
and Muffett, polishing the candle-sticks.

- Weren't we?
- Yes, sir.

Terhew and I were having tea
in Orris's study.

Aggeridge, Root and Trimble
were playing cards with me.

I was at the range with Borby
and Ankerton, cleaning the rifles.

And Hogg, Munn and me
were doing detention.

In short, sir, there are at least two
witnesses for every member of the form.

Sit down, boys, sit down.

Good afternoon, Headmaster.

Carry on, Mr. Ebony,
take no heed of me.

Yes.

"So all day long
the noise of battle rolled,

"among the mountains
by the winter sea.

"Until King Arthur's table,
man by man, had fallen in Lyonesse

"about their Lord, King Arthur."

"Then, because his wound was deep,
the bold Sir Bedivere uplifted him,

"and bore him a chapel nigh the field.

"A broken chancel with a broken cross

"that stood on a dark straight
of barren land.

"On one side lay the ocean,
and on one lay a great water.

"And the moon was full.

"Then spake King Arthur
to Sir Bedivere,

"the sequel of today unsolders
all the goodliest..."

- Thank you very much.
- My pleasure. Take care now.

All right.

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

- Good evening.
- It's Mrs. Ebony, isn't it?

Well, yes, it is.

We're from Lower 5-B,
your husband's form.

Oh, really? How nice.
I'll tell him I met you.

- Well, good night.
- Good night.

- Look at that.
- Can't be bad, can it?

Hey, she looked round.

- John?
- Yes.

Mmm, it's beginning to look quite good.

Where have you been?

Trying to get some furniture.
I found a marvelous junk shop.

- Oh, I got a lift back from the town.
- Oh, really?

- You know we're out of paint, do you?
- Yeah, I've ordered some from the town.

I saw some of your boys on the path.

- Really? What were they doing?
- Nothing. They're very friendly.

Well, they were supposed to be doing
some work for tomorrow.

Doesn't look too bad, does it?

Tell me about your day.

- Nothing much to tell.
- Nothing to tell? On your first day?

- What did you teach?
- History, Latin, English.

Mmm, sounds a lot.
Did you manage all right?

Yes, I suppose so.
Listen, let's go out for a drink, shall we?

Oh, no. I've seen enough
of that blasted town for one day.

Well, I have been stuck
with bloody boys all day long.

I could do with some life right now.

Well, I'm for early bed,
but if you want to go out for some life,

I'll leave some food out
for when you get back.

All right. I shan't be late.

Too right you won't.
They close at ten round here.

Ah, you soon found your way
to the right place. What'll you have?

A pint of bitter, please.

I'm glad to see you.
We can battle against the wind together.

- Bunny, please.
- What wind?

The merciless wind of success that
whistles through the corridors of Chantry.

- Yes, sir?
- Two pints, please, Bunny.

Tell me...
Mr. Pelham, what was he like?

He was a failure.

Like us.

Oh, a delayed failure.

Had quite a strong flavor
of success about him.

Didn't bear too close inspection, though.

I'm a connoisseur of failure.

Ah!

I can smell it.

- And he fell off a cliff?
- Yes.

What about the police?
Didn't they make any inquiries?

I suppose so.

What do you mean,
you suppose so?

Well, presumably somebody said,
"Where's Pelham?"

Somebody else said,
"Oh, fallen off a cliff". Why?

The obvious answer is fog.

Didn't the Headmaster ask
around the school, amongst the boys?

John, you're so simple-minded.

It's not just done for a schoolmaster
to die in term time.

What do you think
the holidays are for?

Mmm, 7:30.

Much too early.

Morning, darling.

Oi! Oi! Come on, I'll be late.

You're very hearty.

Fighting fit.

My form played me up yesterday.
I'm gonna sort them out today.

Then you'll need a good breakfast.

Oh, I wish I was a French master.

Why?

They all have beards, no shaving.

The French arrange their lives
very intelligently, in every way.

How do you know?

- I knew a Frenchman once.
- Who? Where? In London?

Before your time, love.

Anyway, you'd better get a move on
or you'll be late.

- Muffett.
- Here, sir.

- Munn.
- Here, sir.

- Orris.
- Sir.

- Root.
- Here, sir.

- Terhew.
- Sir.

- Trimble.
- Here, sir.

- Unman.
- Here, sir.

- Wittering.
- Here, sir.

And Zigo absent, sir.

- Root?
- Yes, sir?

Write out the form list 25 times, bring it
to me first thing tomorrow morning.

Yes, sir.

Anybody else got anything to say?

- Good morning, sir.
- Morning, Cuthbun.

We all hope you've settled comfortably
into your cottage,

and your wife cooked you
a nice breakfast this morning.

Thank you, Cuthbun,
that's very civil of you.

Double Latin period, I believe.
Aggeridge, wipe the board.

Cloistermouth,
clean up that basket over there.

- Yes, sir.
- Give these out.

Right, test paper of ten sentences.

Names and date
in top right-hand corner, please.

- One. Ready, Aggeridge?
- Sir.

- Cloistermouth?
- Sir.

"My mother...

"...went to Padua...

"...where she saw...

"...her uncle."

- Bungabine.
- Sir?

Why are you looking
at Terhew's paper?

Because I shan't get any marks
if I don't, sir.

Shh!

Come out here, Bungabine.

Take your hands out of your pockets.

Now, listen to me, all of you.

Now, I've tried very hard
to make myself plain,

but it seems you are slow
to take my point.

That was my first day yesterday,
and you all had a great deal of fun

at my expense.

But I'm not going to put up
with idleness or insolence.

And when these occur,
they'll be punished.

Please, sir, would you look
in your desk?

Be quiet, Cloistermouth.

But there's something for you, sir,
a parcel.

If this is another joke,
you'll be in serious trouble.

Oh, it's not a joke, sir.

It's Mr. Pelham's wallet, sir.

- With an old photograph.
- Of a girl, sir.

- Phwoar!
- Quiet!

You can see the bloodstains, sir.

Where did you find this?

It fell out of his pocket as we were
carrying him to the edge of the cliff, sir.

- There was £2.10 in it, but we spent that.
- On cupcakes.

Go and sit down, Bungabine.

You'll all stay here and keep quiet.
Aggeridge, you're in charge.

Where are you going, sir?

To see the Headmaster.

Now, now, boys, pay attention!

Come on, next sentence!

Come on, Aggeridge.

Ah...

Two.
"When the king went away..."

"The young queen enjoyed
the services of his black slaves."

- Wittering's laughing.
- I was only laughing at...

Now he's talking.
Who said you could talk?

Shut up, Wittering!

Who's the wettest man
at Chantry?

- Answer him, Wittering.
- You know the answer.

Stand up, Wittering.

Come out here
and write on the board:

"Wittering is a wet."

Yes?

- Headmaster?
- Yes, Mr. Ebony?

Um... excuse me, Headmaster.

I thought you ought to see this.
It's Mr. Pelham's wallet.

Mr. Pelham?

Yes, I found it in his desk.

Well, I'll see that it's forwarded
to his next of kin.

But I really don't think you need have left
your form in the middle of a period.

It was in his pocket
when he was killed.

It is a practice
which we deprecate here.

Every period should be worked through,
whatever happens.

Well, there are bloodstains on it.

Bloodstains, Mr. Ebony?

Well, I wondered
if the police should see it.

Hurry along, boys.
Take your hands out of your pockets...

The death of a master
in term time, Ebony,

is a matter which has to be treated
with the greatest possible delicacy.

Now, boys are hysterical creatures.

They are easily upset,
but, at the same time,

they love to dwell on the details
of violent death.

Now, this has been
a most unfortunate accident,

and candidly, I think
the less said about it, the better.

But supposing it wasn't an accident?

I think perhaps Lower 5-B have been left
to their own devices long enough.

Now, discourage any discussion
of the matter, there's a good fellow.

Oh, and er... Ebony,

I wonder if you and your wife would care
to come to dinner on Sunday.

After chapel.
I expect I shall see you there.

Thank you, Headmaster.

Places, men!

Aggeridge! I left you in charge.
What is all this noise?

We were playing with Wittering, sir.

Go and sit down.

What did the Headmaster say, sir?

"I think the less said about it,
the better, Mr. Ebony."

He didn't believe you, did he, sir?

- He's dealing with the matter himself.
- I don't think he's told him.

He knows we'd just say
that he was talking nonsense.

That he'd made it up himself.

- Hysterical!
- But you do believe us, don't you, sir?

- Course he does.
- If he doesn't, we'll show him the shoe.

- Mr. Pelham's shoe, sir.
- It came off in the struggle.

- When he was kicking.
- He wouldn't lie still, sir.

- There's a bit of blood on that, too.
- Stop this. Stop it!

- He's hysterical.
- Haw, haw, haw...

Shut up, Bungabine!

Now, sir, hadn't we better work out
a modus vivendi?

- What?
- A way of life, sir.

After all, there's no reason
why we shouldn't peacefully co-exist.

And you don't want to be sacked
from your very first job now, do you, sir?

No, he wants us
to be a credit to him.

- And we will be, sir, we really will be.
- It's better that way, sir.

There'd be no fun in ragging you,
now that we've got you fixed.

- Do you think that you have?
- Oh, we know we have.

- Where's Mr. Farthingale?
- In the craft room, sir.

Cary?
Cary, I've got to talk to you.

Oh, really?

Ah, lunch time.

Oh, really, I've got to tell someone.

And I, being of no importance,
am the one to tell, right?

At least you'll listen.

Well?

My form, Lower 5-B...

...say they murdered Mr. Pelham.

Oh, splendid. Splendid.

The thing is, I think they did.

Better and better. How?

Well, he didn't fall.

They attacked him on top of the cliff
and threw him over.

Did they indeed?

You think I'm a fool, don't you?

Look, it was just the way
that they told me.

Can I lock up now, sir?

- Yes, all right.
- Yes, okay.

Come on, let's go somewhere else.

So, what are you going to do?

Try and find the ringleader
and break him down.

And how are you going to do that?

I don't know.
Play along with them for the moment.

What shakes me is the fact
that they all work together.

And yet, they're highly individual.

What the devil was that?

It's probably one or two of the boys
practicing on the rifle range.

It's just through here.
Come on, I'll show you.

- Hello, sir.
- Hello, sir.

Are you allowed to fire those things
without an instructor?

Terhew's in the school shooting VIII, sir.

He's got permission
to take us by himself.

- The Headmaster trusts him, you see, sir.
- Would you like a go, sir?

No, thank you,
not just at the moment.

Hello, darling.

Your meal was ready at six
and is now stone cold,

cos you were out
drinking yourself stupid.

Sorry, darling,
I had something on my mind.

About two bottles of it,
to judge by the smell.

Come on, Silvia.

There's something
I want to talk to you about.

Why not wait
until you're completely sober?

Because it's not the kind of thing
a man can explain without a drink.

- You know Pelham?
- No, I don't know Pelham.

Yes, you do, he's my predecessor.
He lived here before us.

All right, get on with it.
What about Pelham?

- Well, he didn't just fall off that cliff.
- No?

No, he was thrown off.
Pushed on purpose.

Oh, for Christ's sake, John!

It's true. The boys did it.
They told me, that's how I know.

The boys told you.

They even showed me a wallet
which fell out of his pocket.

They showed you a wallet
which fell out of his pocket.

So, you went straight out
and drank your stupid head off,

because some nasty boys
pulled your idiotic leg!

Do try not to be a bigger bloody fool
than God made you.

Now, you'd better try and eat some food,
though it's probably horrible.

I was hoping for a little sympathy.

I mean, they had alibis and...

if you mention Pelham just once more,
I shall scream.

Don't know why I bother.

Have you seen my chemistry book?
I left it on the table here last night.

I put all your books in the desk!

- Where?
- In the desk!

Oh, come on, Sylvia, it's not here!

I've got chemistry tomorrow,
I've got to prepare for it.

In the bottom bit.

- What the bloody hell's this?
- What?

A shoe.

This, uh...

...modus vivendi.

What exactly do you have in mind?

For a start, sir, there's to be no question
of keeping us in on Saturday,

or exacting any other punishments due.

Now the next thing.
We propose to do a minimum of work.

Now you have surprised me.

There are six of us in this form
with brains, sir,

and we all intend to get
university scholarships in due course.

So, we need your help.
But only for half of each period.

- We can pick it all up in that time.
- What about the others?

They'll be all right, sir.
They'll just read or play cards quietly.

They aren't interested
in learning, you see.

So I've noticed.

And what happens in six weeks' time
when the end of term exams take place?

You'll be correcting the papers, sir.

We'll work out suitable marks
for everyone, sir.

Nothing flashy, sir.
Just what you'd expect.

Only a bit better.

And what do you propose to do
with the other half of our time together?

Make money, sir.

Oh, yes?

What are you gonna do,
take up alchemy?

- Trimble will explain.
- It's very simple, really, sir.

We each put 10 shillings into a pool,
eight quid in all.

We back the favorite in every race
at 10 shillings to win,

and five outsiders
at 10 shillings each way.

- At reasonable odds, of course.
- Your father a bookmaker, Trimble?

No, sir. He's an Archdeacon.

Well, if he had been, he'd have told you
that no system ever wins in the long run.

We'll be content with a comparatively
small return on a large stake.

It's going for the long odds
that busts them.

And who's going to take your bets?

Joe McIver, he's the bookmaker
in the town.

Of course,
you'll actually place them.

We've been using the school sergeant,
but you can only trust him with small stuff.

Oh, that's too bad.
Well, you can trust me.

- Oh, yes, sir.
- You help us, we help you.

- To make a good impression, of course.
- Collective security, sir.

This is a close one.

Hot Foot won at Lingfield
last month, look.

- Yes, but over a shorter distance.
- And the going was firm.

- What about it?
- There was rain at Newmarket last night.

- That's right.
- How about Lady Lou? She likes it soft.

- Hot Foot was an Oaks winner.
- That could mean anything.

- Lady Lou was placed last time out.
- Yeah, Lady Lou.

- Okay, then, Lady Lou each way.
- Have I got everybody's money?

You've got mine.
Yeah, that's mine.

Here you are, sir.
The list of bets and, uh... eight quid.

You'll get it on straight away,
won't you, sir?

Remember, Joe McIver in Platt Lane.

One of us will be in the gym to collect
the money at ten to eight this evening.

- Two of us.
- All right, you and Lippers.

Cloistermouth!

Come on, let's go.

- Cloistermouth.
- Sir.

Come here.

It's all right, it's all right,
I only want a word.

Yes, sir?

Whose idea was it?

I don't know, sir.

A few of us were talking,
and Trimble told us

how he went to a race meeting
in the holidays and won £5.

You know I don't mean that.
I mean the other thing.

The other thing, sir?

Mr. Pelham.

Well, I suppose it was his father's idea
in the first place.

- You know, a twinkle in his father's eye.
- Don't be funny.

I mean, who first thought
of killing Mr. Pelham?

- I don't know, sir.
- Well, somebody must've thought of it.

- I suppose so, sir.
- A sort of a ringleader.

- Perhaps.
- Someone you're afraid of.

Afraid, sir?

Look, all you have to do
is just to give me his name,

and you'll never have
to see him again.

- Sir?
- Yes?

Don't you feel squalid
when you talk like that?

All right, lads,
get your gear off and shower!

- You listen to me...
- I'm sorry, sir.

I've got to get to the library
before it closes for lunch.

You won't forget Terhew
and Lipstrob this evening, sir?

All right, Beckenham,
in you go. Stevenson, you, too!

That's enough.

- How long have we got?
- About five minutes.

We told him ten to eight.

I've been late twice already this month.
If I'm late again, I get a bumming.

- Well, you go, I'll be all right.
- No, I'll hang about a couple of minutes.

Hey, Aggeridge told me this one.

There was this man at the back
of the stalls, and he was going...

So, this usherette came up to him
and said,

"Excuse me, sir, you're only allowed
to have one seat."

So he said...

So she said, "Well, I'll have to go
and get the manager."

So the manager came and said,

"Excuse me, sir, you're only allowed
to have one seat."

So he said...

So, he said, "Well, I'll have to go
and get a policeman."

The policeman comes in, grabs hold
of the man by the scruff of the neck,

bangs his head against the wall,
and says, "Now, where are you from?"

And the man goes, "Oh... the balcony."

You're late, sir.

I was standing there, watching you.

Uh, that's £21.60, sir,
including the stake money.

Yes.

There you are.

That's a profit of £13.60.

- Here you are, sir.
- What's this?

Uh... 68 pence, sir,
a 5% commission.

No thanks.

- Two-minute bell. I'm off.
- No time to argue, sir.

What time is it?

Eight-thirty.

Oh, thank God it's Sunday.

What shall I wear for chapel tonight?

- Something modest.
- How boring.

Something smart,
but not too revealing.

Your hair's wet.

You mind?

♪ 'Thou who art
beyond the farthest'

♪ Mortal eye can scan

♪ Can it be that thou regardest

♪ Songs of sinful man?

♪ Can we know
that thou art near us

♪ And wilt hear us?

♪ Yes, we can

♪ In thy house, great God, we offer

♪ All of thine own to thee

♪ And for thine acceptance proffer

♪ All unworthily

♪ Hearts and minds
and hands and voices

♪ In our choicest psalmody

♪ Honor, glory, might and merit

♪ Thine shall ever be

♪ Father, son and holy spirit

♪ Blessed trinity

♪ Of the best that thou hast given

♪ Earth and Heaven

♪ Render thee ♪

As an aid to our worship
this evening,

the choir will now sing, "God Be
In My Head and In My Understanding".

♪ God be in my head

♪ And in my understanding...

What a lovely voice. Who is it?

It's Wittering, the one they all bully.

- What a shame.
- Shh.

♪ God be in my mouth

♪ And in my speaking

♪ God be in my heart...

Who's that?

- Who?
- The dark one smiling over there.

Oh, that's, uh... Cloistermouth.

One of your assassins, I suppose.

♪ God be at mine end

♪ And at my departing... ♪

- I'm sure it has.
- Has it?

Mr. and Mrs. Ebony,
Mr. and Mrs. Winstanley.

Oh, of course, you and Winstanley
already know each other.

How do you do?

We've said hello, but I don't think
we've actually spoken.

- We haven't.
- No.

Is your husband a master here, too,
Mrs. Winstanley?

- He's the Senior Classic.
- Oh, how interesting. What's that?

He's in charge of Latin and Greek.
He's been here 32 years.

How... how interesting.

- Sherry? Mrs. Ebony?
- Thank you.

Oh, excuse me.

What did you think of the choir tonight?

Not bad. Wittering can sing.

And he looked adorable.

I see.
12:15 would suit me admirably.

- A very nice anthem, I thought.
- Very well.

I noticed something I didn't like.
The lectern's been moved.

Oh, well... well, I, I wouldn't know.

Harry always notices
if anything's out of place.

- Ah...
- Thank you, Headmaster.

I appear to have miscalculated.

I hear you and your husband
are living in the old cottage.

Yes. It's a bit grim, isn't it?

I mean, being there all day.
I'm thinking about getting a job.

- We'll soon get the cottage fixed up...
- Just working in a boutique or something.

That was what I was doing
when I met John.

- Sherry, Winstanley, at last.
- Oh, thank you.

It's quite possible the Bursar might
be glad of some secretarial help.

What a good idea.

Yes, I'll speak to him about it.

What do you mean, my fault?

Jibbering on about bloody boutiques
and God knows what else.

- Why couldn't you just fit in?
- I tried!

But they were so pompous.

Anyway, why shouldn't I talk
about boutiques?

Because we both want me
to keep this job.

But, if it means being a hypocrite,
there's not much point in keeping it.

Anyway, it happens to be
my profession.

Perhaps you've chosen
the wrong profession for your wife.

What do you mean by that? You knew
I wanted to teach when we got married.

There was a hell of a lot I didn't know,
and I've learned a lot more since.

- Such as?
- Well, teaching is like marriage.

It's not knowing the answers,
but knowing where to look for them.

And you're not much good at either.

- "A trumpeter was sent..."
- See his wife in chapel?

He ought to bring her here.

"To tell them that if they surrendered,
their lives would be saved.

- "But..."
- "Spared."

"Spared."

"But if they resisted,
their menfolk would be killed..."

"...their homes burned, their women..."

Stop them for heaven's sake,
somebody!

- Terhew.
- Shut up, Unman!

- It wasn't me.
- Shut up, the lot of you!

- Ooh!
- Ignorant vermin.

You've got to check the form
for tomorrow at Worcester.

- Two possibles for every race.
- So get on with it.

Oh, by the way, sir, your commission
from Saturday, I've put it in your desk.

Well, as far as I'm concerned,
it can stay there.

But, sir, we only want to express
our appreciation.

I forgot to tell you, sir, there's a note
from the Headmaster on your desk.

- Thank you.
- It's underneath the register, sir.

He wants to see you
this afternoon.

- Ooh!
- Bumming for you, sir!

Oh, be quiet!
Orris, your turn.

"The soldiers, having
formed a tortoise with their shields,

"advanced upon the walls..."

Come in.

Here you are, sir,
the bets for tomorrow's meeting,

so you've got plenty of time
to get them on.

Just a moment, Terhew.

Morning break now, sir.

You'll get your morning break.

The other boys trust you, don't they?

Let me out please, sir.

You didn't want to kill Mr. Pelham,
did you?

Let me out.

- Who thought it up? Cuthbun?
- Nobody.

Trimble? Lipstrob?

Now look, get away from that door
or I'll make you.

Oh, I don't think you can,
not alone.

I will hurt you in a moment.

- Remember what happened to Mr. Pelham!
- You won't get away with that again.

We wouldn't go for you.
You're not the same as him, are you?

No, I'm younger and stronger.

- And you've got a wife.
- You little bastard!

Any more and I'll have you
in the Sunday papers.

Get out. Get out!

You'd better not do that again.
Not to any of us.

So there you have it, Mr. Ebony.

Now, of course you understand
there's nothing personal in this.

No, no, of course not.

Now the plain fact is that we always like
to have Old Chantronians on the staff.

And as we now know that
Jonathan Grimwit is available next term.

'We felt that we should take
the opportunity to secure his services.'

But we greatly appreciate the way
you were prepared

- to come to us at a moment's notice.
- Thank you.

I thought
I'd better tell you in plenty of time,

- so that you can plan ahead.
- Yes, it's very kind of you.

'Of course,
you'll stay till the end of this term,

'when your salary is payable.

'Have you tried this agency?
I'm told they're very good.

'Preparatory schools are their specialty.'

'Just refer them to me. I'll look forward
to giving you an excellent reference.'

Prep school!
I can just picture the interview.

You'll tell them, of course,
that there was never any question

of your staying on at Chantry.

They'll say, "You're just the man
for the job," they'll say.

"We want you
to take over Form Three.

"The boys are a bit difficult,
but given the right treatment,

"they might just be no problem at all."

But I shan't go.

I'm fed up with teaching anyway.
I shall change my job.

Oh, no, not again, not this time.

I'll go join the Foreign bloody Legion.

- It's just the same as here.
- Oh, I don't know...

I don't know about anything.

- I don't care.
- That's the spirit.

I am indifferent.

I simply don't care
about anything anymore.

That's right.
Be proud of it, like me.

I'm as happy as a pissed lark.

Tweet, tweet!

- Borby.
- Sir.

- Bungabine.
- Sir.

- Cloistermouth.
- Sir.

He doesn't look very bright
this morning, does he?

- Hogg...
- Okay, at six o'clock.

- Lipstrob.
- Sir.

Too much whiskey last night.

Too much of something.
Where's that book?

Oh, yeah.

- Root.
- Here, sir.

- Terhew.
- Sir.

- Trimble.
- Here, sir.

- Unman.
- Here, sir.

- Wittering.
- Here, sir.

By the way, Terhew,
I haven't placed those bets.

- Oh, you can do it at lunchtime, sir.
- No, I can't. Here's the money.

But, sir, that was part
of our modus vivendi.

Yours, not mine.

It's yours, too, sir.

Frankly, the point's not worth arguing.

What about teaching Mr. Ebony
a little lesson?

Good idea.

Aggeridge, the door.

Come on, then, Lippers.

You're welcome to try.

You'll be had up.

And you'll be knocked cold.
And you!

You don't want to forget
what I said yesterday.

- I haven't forgotten.
- I meant it.

So do I.

Come on, you two, sit down.
We're wasting time.

Let's get on with the period.

History, sir.
It's time we had a test paper.

- So, get on with it!
- Oh, no, sir, you have to give it to us.

- I can't be bothered.
- He's knackered after all that whisky.

- Or something!
- Are you on strike, sir?

No, I just can't be bothered
with you anymore.

- So what are you going to do?
- Sit here.

- Please, sir, can I be excused?
- And us?

Please yourselves.

You'll be sacked
if the Head comes in.

- Please, sir.
- I'm sacked already.

So that's why he had to go and see him
yesterday. He's taking it all out on us.

- It's not fair.
- Please, sir, please!

- Stale joke, Bungabine!
- Shut your Cloistermouth.

- Wittering, do you find this funny?
- No.

You've been told not to speak
until you've asked for permission.

- Now stop giggling!
- Are you deaf?

You silly twit! Get out front!

Oh, dear, Wittering's fallen over.

- You tripped me.
- Get up!

Pull him up!

No, no, not like that.
Put him down again, come on.

- Aargh!
- Now, up again.

And down again.

Up and down and up!

Up, down, up, down!

You must have felt
like a Roman emperor.

I felt just like I wasn't even here.

As though they were
on the other side of the window.

- Have you decided what to do?
- No.

Well, one thing,
you'll soon find the ring leader.

Why?

Because if you sit tight,
he'll have to lead them.

Actually, I was thinking
of going out for a meal tonight.

- How do you feel? Want to come?
- Mmm... Very good idea.

Let's have our quickie first,
and then we'll shoot down into town.

Okay.

Come on then, Lippers.

- Oh, hello.
- Hello, Mrs. Ebony.

My husband's out at the moment,
but he'll be back in a minute.

- Oh...
- Well, come in and wait for him.

- Thank you.
- In there.

Well, sit down,
make yourselves comfortable.

I'm afraid I'm in rather a hurry,
I've got to get off to work.

We don't want
to interrupt anything.

Oh, that's all right.

- Do you think he'll come back?
- No, why should he?

- What's your name?
- Lipstrob.

Oh, I can't call you that.
Have you got another?

Stanley.

- And yours?
- Terhew, John.

- Oh, my husband's called John.
- I know.

Do you smoke?

- No, thank you.
- Yes, please.

I don't suppose you get much chance
to do this up at the school.

No, we don't.

Thank you.

Do you usually call on masters at home?
Oh, do sit.

- No, no, not usually.
- Oh, it must be very important, then?

In a way, but then it wasn't exactly him
we wanted to see.

Well, there's no one else here
except me.

That's right.

Well, we did want to see him,
in a way.

- Look, I've got to go in a minute.
- Oh...

- Well, we'd better push off then.
- But you can wait here if you like...

- It's okay.
- We must go, really.

- We'll get into trouble if we don't.
- Well, I wouldn't want that.

- Well, can I take a message for him?
- No, it doesn't matter.

- We'll see him in the morning.
- Are you sure?

Yes.

- Mrs. Ebony.
- Yes, John?

Oh, nothing.

Come on, we'd better leave.

- What a dangerous looking thing.
- Sorry.

- Haven't you got anything to put it in?
- Yes, I have somewhere.

- We must go.
- Are you sure?

- Oh, well.
- Bye.

Bye, boys.

- Are they still in there?
- Yes. How did it go?

Never mind.
Where are the others?

In the common room.

Okay, you'd better stay here.
We may have to think of something else.

if we go for a meal first,
we'll miss the pubs.

We can come back here
to drink, can't we?

Well, okay, but we'd better buy
a couple of bottles,

because the old booze cupboard's
suffered a bit since you came.

Go and tell the others they've gone.
I'll just make sure.

Wittering, come on.

Wait, please. Wait!

Ah, God, I'm pissed.

I've got to get back.

We finally sorted the men
out from the boys.

- Mrs. Ebony, there's been an accident.
- Accident?

- Your husband in the squash court.
- Squash court?

- Please come, he's asking for you.
- Come on, we'll show you the way.

In here, Mrs. Ebony.

Well, where's John?
Where's my husband?

Drinking his head off.

You must forgive us,
Mrs. Ebony,

but there's something
very important to be said.

- We had to make sure you came.
- I don't understand.

What are you doing?

What's going on?

Well, it's... it's like this, Mrs. Ebony.

Like what?

Your husband's
not toeing the line.

- He's not doing what we tell him.
- Well, I should hope not.

But if he doesn't...

Something very nasty
is going to happen to him.

- Or to you.
- Or to both.

- Because if he doesn't cooperate...
- if he doesn't do just what he's told...

And stop poking his nose
about where it isn't wanted,

then we shall do to him
what we did to Mr. Pelham.

What you did to Mr. Pelham?

We killed Pelham,
and we're quite prepared to kill Ebony.

- Or you.
- Or both.

If I believed a word of this,
I'd go to the police.

- Your husband tried that.
- He got as far as the Headmaster.

But he felt so silly
that he came away again.

You see, we've all got perfect alibis,
100% alibis, every single one of us.

Well, you won't get
any change out of me.

We've got till tomorrow morning.
Plenty of time to make you see sense.

You can't intimidate me.

Wittering, tell her the idea.

We're going to show you
how grown up we can be.

In a very special way.

In a way you won't want
to tell anyone about.

You won't dare tell anyone.

You'll be so ashamed, feel so dirty,
so disgusted with what's happened to you.

Well, now that you've succeeded
in exciting each other,

which one of you men
is going to start?

Wittering!

I think Wittering should start.

- No, not him.
- Why not?

That's a laugh.

He told her, now he can show us.

Yes, yes, yes.

- Please stop them, please, please.
- Shut up!

He's useless!

Hey, Wittering, where are you going?
Come here!

Look out, the door!
Shut the door!

Right, just one more step
and this goes.

- Come on, let's get out of here!
- Quickly. Quick, down!

John.

John?

Bastards!

Christ!

Bastards!

It doesn't matter now.
At least I got away.

Anyway, it was all my fault.

I should've listened to what
you told me about them.

Now we can go to the Headmaster
and have it all out in the open.

I've tried that already.

He didn't believe me.

But he'll believe you now.

'I've been given my notice,
there's another man coming.'

'Well, so much the better.
We can leave now. Just get up and go.'

I'll get you some tea.

Sir! Sir!

- What's going on?
- Please, sir!

- Listen, sir...
- Get out!

Quiet! Quiet!

Now get outside,
every single one of you. Go on, get out!

Get out!

Now I tell you, I'll see that every single
one of you is thrown out of this school.

- Now I mean it.
- You've got to help us, sir.

Help you?

Help you, after what you've done...?

It's Wittering, sir,
he's vanished.

What do you mean, vanished?

He wasn't in the dorm, sir.
No one's seen him since last night.

- Well, try the sick room.
- We already looked, sir. He's not there.

- We've looked everywhere.
- If anything's happened to him, sir...

- We must find him.
- If anyone finds him first...

- He's bound to tell them something.
- You've got to tell us what to do, sir.

Sir, if Wittering opens
his mouth, he'll tell them.

- He'll tell them everything.
- You must help us, sir. Please, sir.

John, come on.

Silvia, this may be my chance
to get at the truth of it all.

Let the Headmaster deal with it.
He's sacked you, hasn't he?

Well, my contract holds good
till the end of the term.

Who cares about that now?

Well, I can't just give up,
for Christ's sake, I must try.

John, I am leaving now.

Look, Silvia, if I can just find
the culprit, I know...

- Why bother?
- Because I feel I must.

Must? Why must?

Because I've got to know.

All right.

I'm sorry, John.

It's your choice.

I'll be back as soon as I can.

Sir? Sir, please help us, sir.
Wittering, sir.

- Please help us.
- Come on, sir.

Don't waste any more time,
please, sir.

Look, sir, if we don't find him,
we're all in the shit, up to here.

- It's all right, I'm coming.
- Thank you very much, sir.

What are we going to do?

Right. Terhew, you take
Cloistermouth, Root, and Borby.

Search the beach. Take the back road.
The rest of you, follow me.

- Try the other side!
- Okay, sir!

Wittering!

Wittering!

Wittering!

Wittering!

Sir!

'Dear Mummy and Daddy.

'I am going to kill myself,
and I hope you won't be too sorry.

'It was my idea to kill Mr. Pelham.

'We all hated him.
He didn't like us either.

'He was always ordering us about,

'and he was very sarcastic
if we didn't do exactly what he said.

'I thought up this plan
and told the others in the form.

'I thought that
if I told them a plan like this,

'they would respect me
and think of me as one of them.

'But they didn't.

'They were on at me worse than ever,
even with a new master here.

'Mr. Ebony is no better
than Mr. Pelham really."

'He's frightened of the Headmaster,

'and he's always trying to show
how good he is at controlling the boys.

'But he can't.

'At night, I keep on dreaming of the noise
the stone made on Mr. Pelham's head

'when we hit him.

'And the blood.

'He kind of grunted.

'Tonight has been even more horrible.

'Must close now.

'Pam can have my stamps
if she wants them.

'Love from Basil.'

Now you know whose idea it was.

Yeah.

- Perhaps that's not the question.
- How do you mean?

I mean, what made them do it?

- 'Aggeridge.'
- 'Here, sir.'

- 'Ankerton.'
- 'Sir.'

- 'Borby.'
- 'Sir.'

- 'Bungabine.'
- 'Here, sir.'

- 'Cloistermouth.'
- 'Yes, sir.'

- 'Cuthbun.'
- 'Here, sir.'

- 'Hogg.'
- 'Sir.'

- 'Lipstrob.'
- 'Yes, sir.'

- 'Muffett.'
- 'Here, sir.'

- 'Munn.'
- 'Here, sir.'

- 'Orris.'
- 'Sir.'

- 'Root.'
- 'Sir.'

- 'Terhew.'
- 'Yes, sir.'

- 'Trimble.'
- 'Yes, sir.'

- 'Unman.'
- 'Here, sir.'

- 'Wittering.'
- 'Absent.'

- 'Zigo.'
- 'Absent, sir.'