Original subtitles

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] beautiful

beautiful

beautiful animal giving me a

animal giving me a

animal giving me a mouthful your wife

bright want you to

see want you to see

want you to

want you to

want you to [Music]

[Music]

[Music] see want you to

see want you to

see want you to [Music]

see sorry sorry it's it's all good I was

see sorry sorry it's it's all good I was

see sorry sorry it's it's all good I was just going to have to grab my stuff

just going to have to grab my stuff

just going to have to grab my stuff brought you a drink

brought you a drink

brought you a drink thank you but I do have some Al

thank you but I do have some Al

thank you but I do have some Al motives I was hoping you could handle

motives I was hoping you could handle

motives I was hoping you could handle some things inside for me as well inside

some things inside for me as well inside

some things inside for me as well inside what I I mean like like like inside what

what I I mean like like like inside what

what I I mean like like like inside what what

what

what nothing like like feed the cat water are

nothing like like feed the cat water are

nothing like like feed the cat water are the inside plants I'm going to town for

the inside plants I'm going to town for

the inside plants I'm going to town for a couple of days at conference in San

a couple of days at conference in San

a couple of days at conference in San Francisco yeah know whatever you need

Francisco yeah know whatever you need

Francisco yeah know whatever you need are you going to present the uh the

are you going to present the uh the

are you going to present the uh the paper that you were

paper that you were

paper that you were writing yeah I I I am oh and I I took

writing yeah I I I am oh and I I took

writing yeah I I I am oh and I I took your suggestion on the title

your suggestion on the title

your suggestion on the title impossibility is much better than

impossibility is much better than

impossibility is much better than modality it's a lot more

modality it's a lot more

modality it's a lot more relatable glad to hear I could help not

relatable glad to hear I could help not

relatable glad to hear I could help not that I could be a philosophy Professor

that I could be a philosophy Professor

that I could be a philosophy Professor or anything I mean who knows what you

or anything I mean who knows what you

or anything I mean who knows what you will hold for you you're a bright kid

will hold for you you're a bright kid

will hold for you you're a bright kid you've always got more options than you

you've always got more options than you

you've always got more options than you think you

think you

think you do thanks isn't your birthday coming up

do thanks isn't your birthday coming up

do thanks isn't your birthday coming up 2 days ago kept it low key

2 days ago kept it low key

2 days ago kept it low key 18 oh uh

18 oh uh

18 oh uh my ride's almost here I'm going to go

my ride's almost here I'm going to go

my ride's almost here I'm going to go change sorry no I'll take care of

change sorry no I'll take care of

change sorry no I'll take care of everything thanks

everything thanks

everything thanks for happy birthday mate maybe we should

for happy birthday mate maybe we should

for happy birthday mate maybe we should do something to

do something to

do something to celebrate I'm back

Sunday he's a sexy unicorn perfect but

Sunday he's a sexy unicorn perfect but

Sunday he's a sexy unicorn perfect but unattainable I swear I mean she opened

unattainable I swear I mean she opened

unattainable I swear I mean she opened the door I just have to figure out

the door I just have to figure out

the door I just have to figure out figure out how to walk through come make

figure out how to walk through come make

figure out how to walk through come make unicorn babies with me Nate come on I

unicorn babies with me Nate come on I

unicorn babies with me Nate come on I mean you guys have made fun of me

mean you guys have made fun of me

mean you guys have made fun of me forever for waiting for the perfect

forever for waiting for the perfect

forever for waiting for the perfect first time and now that I actually have

first time and now that I actually have

first time and now that I actually have a chance with this unbelievably perfect

a chance with this unbelievably perfect

a chance with this unbelievably perfect woman you're not helping what do I do

woman you're not helping what do I do

woman you're not helping what do I do well remember sex said with Mrs Downey

well remember sex said with Mrs Downey

well remember sex said with Mrs Downey in fifth grade with a vagina puppet come

in fifth grade with a vagina puppet come

in fifth grade with a vagina puppet come on clitoris clitorus you know the more I

on clitoris clitorus you know the more I

on clitoris clitorus you know the more I say it the more I don't know which is

say it the more I don't know which is

say it the more I don't know which is right stop I mean porn Nate study up

right stop I mean porn Nate study up

right stop I mean porn Nate study up watch a ton of it okay a whole ton of it

watch a ton of it okay a whole ton of it

watch a ton of it okay a whole ton of it also

also

also situps got to do a lot of those it's all

situps got to do a lot of those it's all

situps got to do a lot of those it's all in the core who has the most experience

in the core who has the most experience

in the core who has the most experience in sex it's quality not quantity oh

in sex it's quality not quantity oh

in sex it's quality not quantity oh really what are we talking about German

really what are we talking about German

really what are we talking about German exchange girl now is there any other

exchange girl now is there any other

exchange girl now is there any other word in the English language sexier than

word in the English language sexier than

word in the English language sexier than bicurious you're an idiot how does

bicurious you're an idiot how does

bicurious you're an idiot how does appreciating a wide spectrum of human

appreciating a wide spectrum of human

appreciating a wide spectrum of human sexuality make me an idiot it's not just

sexuality make me an idiot it's not just

sexuality make me an idiot it's not just the sex part I really think that it

the sex part I really think that it

the sex part I really think that it could be more than that I really think

could be more than that I really think

could be more than that I really think we have a connection you're such a girl

we have a connection you're such a girl

we have a connection you're such a girl wanting love and sex and a big package

wanting love and sex and a big package

wanting love and sex and a big package through the bow no a woman like this I

through the bow no a woman like this I

through the bow no a woman like this I need to break my a game I just have to

need to break my a game I just have to

need to break my a game I just have to figure out how to be enough for in 48

figure out how to be enough for in 48

figure out how to be enough for in 48 hours just don't put too much thought

hours just don't put too much thought

hours just don't put too much thought into it just get your passport stamped

into it just get your passport stamped

into it just get your passport stamped okay you little I told you last

okay you little I told you last

okay you little I told you last time you do it again and you get what

time you do it again and you get what

time you do it again and you get what you

you

you deserve

deserve

deserve fast you think you're

fast you think you're

fast you think you're fast what back into the room what that

fast what back into the room what that

fast what back into the room what that little half small thing you do the side

little half small thing you do the side

little half small thing you do the side of your mouth goes up like a crowbar

of your mouth goes up like a crowbar

of your mouth goes up like a crowbar usually means there's something don't

usually means there's something don't

usually means there's something don't want to say look if you really want to

want to say look if you really want to

want to say look if you really want to have some kind of love connection with

have some kind of love connection with

have some kind of love connection with this woman you're not going to get it

this woman you're not going to get it

this woman you're not going to get it from dubious sex tips mouth out off the

from dubious sex tips mouth out off the

from dubious sex tips mouth out off the web I it's going to come from you just

web I it's going to come from you just

web I it's going to come from you just being yourself yeah but I mean myself as

being yourself yeah but I mean myself as

being yourself yeah but I mean myself as a nervous inexperienced guy who can't

a nervous inexperienced guy who can't

a nervous inexperienced guy who can't believe he's getting a shot at this

believe he's getting a shot at this

believe he's getting a shot at this perfect woman you're not going to

perfect woman you're not going to

perfect woman you're not going to convince her your Brad Pit to lay it out

convince her your Brad Pit to lay it out

convince her your Brad Pit to lay it out I am a nervous and experienced guy who

I am a nervous and experienced guy who

I am a nervous and experienced guy who can't believe I'm getting a chance with

can't believe I'm getting a chance with

can't believe I'm getting a chance with a perfect woman like you if she goes for

a perfect woman like you if she goes for

a perfect woman like you if she goes for it at least she'll like you for who you

it at least she'll like you for who you

it at least she'll like you for who you really are isn't that what you

really are isn't that what you

really are isn't that what you want and if all else

fails

vagina stop

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] it I'm going to take that yoga class oh

it I'm going to take that yoga class oh

it I'm going to take that yoga class oh good the naked y

good the naked y

good the naked y [Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Laughter] bye

bye

bye Nate bye Miss

Nate bye Miss

Nate bye Miss Gilbert let's do this hey um come on dad

Gilbert let's do this hey um come on dad

Gilbert let's do this hey um come on dad I don't know if I feel like practicing

I don't know if I feel like practicing

I don't know if I feel like practicing today seriously come on so what do you

today seriously come on so what do you

today seriously come on so what do you uh what do you think of Linda

uh what do you think of Linda

uh what do you think of Linda huh I don't know she's nice I

huh I don't know she's nice I

huh I don't know she's nice I guess not that ass am I right she was my

guess not that ass am I right she was my

guess not that ass am I right she was my English teacher in sixth grade I do not

English teacher in sixth grade I do not

English teacher in sixth grade I do not get where you got this this puritanical

get where you got this this puritanical

get where you got this this puritanical crap from all right listen I I really

crap from all right listen I I really

crap from all right listen I I really like I like

like I like

like I like her well that's nice Dad no I'm I'm

her well that's nice Dad no I'm I'm

her well that's nice Dad no I'm I'm sorry um can I ask you a

sorry um can I ask you a

sorry um can I ask you a question is the perfect woman the one

question is the perfect woman the one

question is the perfect woman the one who makes you want to be a perfect

who makes you want to be a perfect

who makes you want to be a perfect man uh

man uh

man uh well who knows what the perfect woman is

well who knows what the perfect woman is

well who knows what the perfect woman is you

you

you know the perfect woman is the one that

know the perfect woman is the one that

know the perfect woman is the one that you have not met yet

you have not met yet

you have not met yet all right let's go shooting drill let's

all right let's go shooting drill let's

all right let's go shooting drill let's do

it come

it come

it come on come on give it to me see it take the

on come on give it to me see it take the

on come on give it to me see it take the shot Dad I think I'm just going to take

shot Dad I think I'm just going to take

shot Dad I think I'm just going to take a run

a run

a run today what no no hey where you going get

today what no no hey where you going get

today what no no hey where you going get back here hey take the goddamn shot

back here hey take the goddamn shot

back here hey take the goddamn shot right now

you

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] didy

[Music]

[Music]

a

I remember you said that they were your

I remember you said that they were your

I remember you said that they were your favorite

favorite

favorite flowers what are you doing

flowers what are you doing

flowers what are you doing here welcoming you home

here welcoming you home

here welcoming you home um I'm sorry I thought you said

um I'm sorry I thought you said

um I'm sorry I thought you said no uh no I I didn't necessarily mean the

no uh no I I didn't necessarily mean the

no uh no I I didn't necessarily mean the minute I got back but uh

minute I got back but uh

minute I got back but uh it's it's it's

it's it's it's

it's it's it's okay uh you want to

okay uh you want to

okay uh you want to drink um yeah sure

drink um yeah sure

drink um yeah sure um scratch on the

um scratch on the

um scratch on the Rocks uh single malt single grain

Rocks uh single malt single grain

Rocks uh single malt single grain Blended um

Blended um

Blended um what oh um actually to be honest I

what oh um actually to be honest I

what oh um actually to be honest I haven't had Scotch before but I just

haven't had Scotch before but I just

haven't had Scotch before but I just thought I sounded like a cool thing to

thought I sounded like a cool thing to

thought I sounded like a cool thing to say I'm going to have some tea would you

say I'm going to have some tea would you

say I'm going to have some tea would you like a cup

like a cup

like a cup sure um how was your

sure um how was your

sure um how was your trip it was

trip it was

trip it was fine did you kill it with your

paper it's uh it's sweet that you're

paper it's uh it's sweet that you're

paper it's uh it's sweet that you're interested in my

interested in my

interested in my work I really am

we' been doing some reading brushing up

we' been doing some reading brushing up

we' been doing some reading brushing up on the fundamentals ploh

on the fundamentals ploh

on the fundamentals ploh Symposium

Symposium

Symposium really yeah and how the whole philosophy

really yeah and how the whole philosophy

really yeah and how the whole philosophy of love was started by um a woman named

of love was started by um a woman named

of love was started by um a woman named D something um DEA yeah philosopher

D something um DEA yeah philosopher

D something um DEA yeah philosopher Priestess yeah did you read what she

Priestess yeah did you read what she

Priestess yeah did you read what she said about young people in

said about young people in

said about young people in love you know I might have fallen asleep

love you know I might have fallen asleep

love you know I might have fallen asleep before I got to that part

before I got to that part

before I got to that part she said that young people should first

she said that young people should first

she said that young people should first be taught to love one beautiful body

be taught to love one beautiful body

be taught to love one beautiful body which will lead to an

which will lead to an

which will lead to an appreciation of beauty in all

appreciation of beauty in all

appreciation of beauty in all bodies she said that

bodies she said that

bodies she said that mhm eventually one

mhm eventually one

mhm eventually one transcends the physical and learns to

transcends the physical and learns to

transcends the physical and learns to appreciate the beauty of the

appreciate the beauty of the

appreciate the beauty of the Soul

Soul

Soul finally one

finally one

finally one experiences pure virtue and gains

experiences pure virtue and gains

experiences pure virtue and gains immortality in the love of the

immortality in the love of the

immortality in the love of the Gods and

Gods and

Gods and this Plato argues

this Plato argues

this Plato argues is the

is the

is the importance of physical

love

love

love that's so

it's on the timer leave it

on you're so

on you're so

on you're so beautiful you're beautiful and smart and

beautiful you're beautiful and smart and

beautiful you're beautiful and smart and funny and amazing and I've Imad In This

funny and amazing and I've Imad In This

funny and amazing and I've Imad In This Moment all summer

have you ever seen Hawks have

have you ever seen Hawks have

have you ever seen Hawks have sex they meet in the sky join together

sex they meet in the sky join together

sex they meet in the sky join together while they're flying and Tumble down

while they're flying and Tumble down

while they're flying and Tumble down together like nothing else matters like

together like nothing else matters like

together like nothing else matters like there's no ground benath

there's no ground benath

there's no ground benath them that's how I feel with

you what's

wrong I'm sorry why are you sorry I just

wrong I'm sorry why are you sorry I just

wrong I'm sorry why are you sorry I just I I I can't do

I I I can't do

I I I can't do this what did I do wrong I absolutely

this what did I do wrong I absolutely

this what did I do wrong I absolutely nothing so what is

nothing so what is

nothing so what is it it's just this this this means uh

it it's just this this this means uh

it it's just this this this means uh this means more to you than but what

this means more to you than but what

this means more to you than but what about Plato Symposium the priest is the

about Plato Symposium the priest is the

about Plato Symposium the priest is the beauty of the Soul

you just wanted this to be

sex yeah I can do that no you can't it

sex yeah I can do that no you can't it

sex yeah I can do that no you can't it doesn't have to mean anything to me

doesn't have to mean anything to me

doesn't have to mean anything to me honestly like how can it not mean

honestly like how can it not mean

honestly like how can it not mean something to you it's who you are I can

something to you it's who you are I can

something to you it's who you are I can be different why would you why would you

be different why would you why would you

be different why would you why would you want to you are a great kid you're

want to you are a great kid you're

want to you are a great kid you're you're a great young man I'm old enough

you're a great young man I'm old enough

you're a great young man I'm old enough this isn't about being too young

I just thought I was some some Lawn Boy

I just thought I was some some Lawn Boy

I just thought I was some some Lawn Boy no I'm I'm I'm sorry this was

no I'm I'm I'm sorry this was

no I'm I'm I'm sorry this was just this was supposed to be a fun

just this was supposed to be a fun

just this was supposed to be a fun thing this wasn't supposed to be a

thing this wasn't supposed to be a

thing this wasn't supposed to be a relationship it couldn't be a

relationship it couldn't be a

relationship it couldn't be a relationship

relationship

relationship no

no seriously

I think you should leave now

[Music]

your advice was terrible at least you

your advice was terrible at least you

your advice was terrible at least you put yourself out there you took a risk

put yourself out there you took a risk

put yourself out there you took a risk you went for the perfect experience

you went for the perfect experience

you went for the perfect experience better than never trying trust me I'm

better than never trying trust me I'm

better than never trying trust me I'm nowhere near that braak what do you

nowhere near that braak what do you

nowhere near that braak what do you mean so you know German exchange

mean so you know German exchange

mean so you know German exchange girl I actually never full on stuck with

girl I actually never full on stuck with

girl I actually never full on stuck with him she wanted to

him she wanted to

him she wanted to but something just wasn't

but something just wasn't

but something just wasn't right I just kind of freaked out and

right I just kind of freaked out and

right I just kind of freaked out and broke up up

broke up up

broke up up there I'm

there I'm

there I'm sorry why didn't you tell me I teased

sorry why didn't you tell me I teased

sorry why didn't you tell me I teased you so much for waiting for the perfect

you so much for waiting for the perfect

you so much for waiting for the perfect person and there I was doing the same

person and there I was doing the same

person and there I was doing the same thing a while I wasn't sure if I just

thing a while I wasn't sure if I just

thing a while I wasn't sure if I just didn't like her but I think I'm just

didn't like her but I think I'm just

didn't like her but I think I'm just maybe not into girls so you're uh not by

maybe not into girls so you're uh not by

maybe not into girls so you're uh not by then sounds so uncool but I'm pretty

then sounds so uncool but I'm pretty

then sounds so uncool but I'm pretty sure I'm straight yeah too

bad CU being by doubles rods of finding

bad CU being by doubles rods of finding

bad CU being by doubles rods of finding the perfect person so there's no such

the perfect person so there's no such

the perfect person so there's no such thing as perfect

thing as perfect

thing as perfect so I guess neither of us are ever going

so I guess neither of us are ever going

so I guess neither of us are ever going to have sex nope

doomed although you know someone once

doomed although you know someone once

doomed although you know someone once told me that there are always more

told me that there are always more

told me that there are always more options than you think there are what's

options than you think there are what's

options than you think there are what's that supposed to

mean nothing I guess

[Music]

you you to

see you to

see you to

see you to [Music]

[Music]

[Music] see want you to

see want you to

see want you to [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] see want you to see

[Music]

h

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[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music]

[Music] oh

oh

oh [Applause]

[Music]