All language subtitles for Scrubs (2026) - S01E04 - My Poker Face (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Celdra)

Moving is rated
one of the most
stressful life experiences,

right along with divorce.

But I was crushing both.

I found a new place
closer to the hospital,

and Elliot and I were
finally getting along.

...and I think
you should proceed
with the radio embolization.

Yeah, and I agree with
Dr. Reid. She's the best.

Oh, I am.

We are crushing it
at being divorced.

I think we're in
the honeymoon phase
of our failed marriage.

It's amazing that we can
agree on a treatment plan
for a guy's liver mass.

When we were married, we could
not order a pizza together.

Yeah, and now
you can scarf down

as much disgusting ham
and hot fruit pizza
as you want.

Just ordered Hawaiian
on the weekend.
What'd you do?

Well, since I have Ollie
next weekend,
I finally put his bed together.

I've actually
become quite handy.

Damn it!

I think it was
a slight concussion.

I blacked out for a bit,
but when I finally came to,

the whole thing
had been put together.

It's okay.

- Not like I had
anything better to do.
- I get it.

When Ollie's with you,
I feel a bit lonely too.

Throw in a bottle
of Chardonnay, and I am just
holding the dog and crying.

You have a dog now?

- It's the neighbors'.
- Ah.

If you wanna do something fun
instead of tragic,

I'm going to a rave this Friday
with my friends.

Maybe I should try something
like that. I'm in.

Okay. We'll pick you up
at midnight.

Midnight at night? I'm out.

Hey. Hey. Are you okay, Amara?

Because I got a text that said,
"Run over here right damn now."

I told Dashana
this wasn't an emergency
and we shouldn't say that,

so she took my phone
and texted you with it.

- Snitches get stitches.
- They do?

These medical interns
keep dumping patients on us

like the surgical department
is their day care.

Do we look like
The Baby-Sitters Club to you?

Kinda, yeah. Look, guys,

surgical and medical
have always had beef,

so figure that out on your own.

- Okay. Yeah, but I...
- But...

No. No.
We're not gonna do that.

I have patients texting me,

and I have three daughters
texting me about money
and rides to soccer,

and more money.

Four daughters texting me.

And I got a wife
who's picked up extra shifts

and says I need to
help out more at home.

What I don't need right now
is two more females

tricking me into
running my ass off and
getting more steps than I need.

Got me all sweaty-domed.

I told you
we shouldn't say that.

Hey, Bubba. You know
how I love and respect
all women, right?

Are there any women up in here?

There's a pretty gal upstairs,

but I haven't had the courage
to say hello yet.

Well, don't. I'm so sick
of the women in my life, J.D.

How come each and every one
of them is trying to get me
to do something?

Don't look at me.
I was team vasectomy.

The worst part about it is,
because Carla's working
so much,

I can't even ask for a little
somethin' somethin' in return,

- if you know what I mean.
- Sex?

Yeah, J.D. Sex. Well done.

She used to get worked up
by Bridgerton,

but the new season doesn't
come out for another year.

Spring 2027.

I'm just so worn out.

Man, I've missed this.

You and me just getting real
about life.

Let's turn this place
into our feelings dojo.

- Pfft.
- I'm gonna order
a love seat, candles,

and two cozy weighted blankets
on Amazon.

There's so many choices.

Are we thinking faux fur
or sherpa fleece?

Bro, I'm thinking I live
with a bunch of women.
Let's get a poker table.

Turk, you beautiful,
bald bastard. That's it.

We'll do a poker night,
like in the old days.

That's what I'm saying!

This is the start of a whole
new chapter for me.

No more sad sack.

Full-on fun sack.

- That's what I'm talking about.
- Right?

We're gonna turn this place
into a bro-jo.

A bro-jo.

Whoo-hoo!

I'm never going home.

- It gets even better.
- It does?

- I got a roommate.
- What?

Chewie?

Chewie, no.

You're gonna popcorn us.

Oh.

Hi. I'm your new neighbor, J.D.

I was just telling Turk
about you.

What you watching?

♪ I can't do this
All on my own ♪

♪ No, I know I'm no Superman ♪

♪ I'm no Superman ♪

I gotta say,
Sacred Heart seems like
a completely different place.

For example, some employees
aren't even human.

Morning, little supply bot.

The janitor likes me.

Morning, Chief.

Morning. You're in
for poker tonight, right?

Oh, you bet.

I'm skipping my daughter's play
to be there.

- Oh, don't do that.
- Oh, it's fine.

She's 25,
and it's Waiting for Godot.

Ugh. More like "waiting to
go home," am I right?

You get me.

We get each other.

Ah.

I should probably
learn his name.

As for the interns, instead of
getting pushed into burnout,

they're now pushed
into mental health.

"Hey, Sibby,
why a wellness room?"

"Oh! I'm so happy you asked."

Nobody asked.

Research shows, drumroll,

that activities such as
meditation and block-building

help reduce stress...

She wants us
to play with blocks?

Apparently.

The room is now open
for organized relaxation.

Can we go now?

Yeah, get the hell out.

But some things
never change.

- Turk and I were hanging
like old times.
- Hey, buddy.

- Two chiefs.
- Two chiefs.

We're all set, bro.

Once I feed the kids,
I'ma take them to practice

and then I'ma drop them off
at sleepovers.

Carla has a shift
at urgent care,

but that gives me
a four-hour window
for our poker party.

Come on!

Did someone say poker? I'm in.

Oh, sorry, Hooch, I actually
don't have a seat for you.

- Oh, I wasn't asking.
- Oh.

I'll bring the bean dip.

Hooch is legitimately crazy.

Out of his damn mind.

- Hey!
- Ooh.

Did you really just dump
another patient on us?

Okay, first of all,
he spiked a fever. Okay?

That means you med-heads
have to admit him.

Just because you talk
with your hands
doesn't make it okay.

- First of all,
bring your hands down.
- Okay.

And the age-old battle
between surgical and medical
rages on.

- Check out our kids.
- Having
their first fight.

- Should we fire up
our parental voices?
- Yep.

Okay, kids, settle down.
That's enough.

Don't make us turn
this whole hospital around.

He'll do it. Get over here.

Get over here, right now.

Dashana, I saw that.

These photos are sick.

Did you wear your scrubs
the entire time
you were in Ibiza?

I partied at night,
but during the day I did help
little kids with dysentery.

Ibiza has everything.

Take me back.

Okay, wait.
Let's follow each other.

Okay, Dr. Selfie, not exactly
what I meant by "take it away."

Oh. Okay. Well, sorry,
this is Mr. Nichols. He's 27.

He's admitted with fainting,
bleeding gums and bruising,

and he's asking us to
accommodate his special diet.

Oh. Of course. Are you vegan,
vegetarian, gluten-free?

- Tarzan.
- What now?

He's talking about
the Tarzan diet.
It's, like, all over TikTok.

It's all organic,
low carbs, maximum protein.

He has a whole page
devoted to it.

Check out this video.
He's crushing a 14-egg omelet.

- Like, what?
- Twelve, thirteen...
Boom! Egg...

That was actually insane, brah.

Um, it's Dr. Brah,
and that's probably
why you passed out at the gym.

You need more than protein.

The Tarzan diet is
how our ancestors ate.

I'm surprised I have to
explain that to a doctor.

Our ancestors weren't Tarzan.

Tarzan is
a fictional character.

I wouldn't be so sure.
They did make a movie
about his life.

Hmm.

I love this room, Sibby.

When I was an intern,
all we had for stress relief

was crying
in the supply closet.

Oh. Well, I learned
all these techniques
at a seminar.

But I guess I got bedbugs
at an airport motel for nothing

because the interns
don't want to come in here.

They think I'm weird.

You're not weird.

Thanks. I'm gonna
ring the affirmation gong now.

Um, do I have to stay here
until that ends?

Yeah. Don't talk.

This feud between medical
and surgical has been going on

since we were interns,
and long before that.

But it all ends today.
As your chief of surgery...

...and your chief of medicine,
we're gonna show you

how to consult
on a patient together.

Today, med...

- ...and surg merge.
- Merge.

You guys don't charge me
per doctor, do you?

No, Mr. Johnson,
this is a teaching hospital.

Oh. Cool.

I have a new kid at home.
Could you please keep me alive?

Yes, we will, Darrell.

Mr. Johnson is presenting
with lower right quadrant pain.

Let's examine the patient.

- Oh.
- Oh, please. You go first.

I think you're gonna teach me
something maybe I don't know.

No, I'd love to show you
something, but I think
you might be able to show me...

I knew
what they were trying to say.

I would enjoy if the two of us
removed our clothing

and smooshed
all over each other.

I'm aware of that,
and have similar feelings,

which is why
I sometimes laugh too hard
at your mediocre jokes.

May I have this dance?

Oh, my God.

- D-train, put a minute
on the clock.
- Ew.

Thank you. Let's show
these newbies how it's done.

He has rebound tenderness.

I'm thinking appendicitis.

And based on medical's more
complete history and physical,

we noted a productive cough
and thick pneumonia.

Although my surgical expertise
is being questioned,

I welcome it because
it's best for the patient.

Let's run some tests. Time.

Fifteen seconds. Damn.

That's how we do.

Yeah, that was
way more impressive
than whatever this was.

- It's a med-surg merge.
- Yeah.

Oh, good.
I was just gonna buzz you guys.

Can you switch my IV
so I can work my other arm?

How about instead we work on
getting you healthy, okay?

I'm just gonna
leave that there.

Mr. Nichols,
your 21st-century TikTok diet

has given you one of the oldest
diseases known to man.

You have scurvy.

That's crazy
because I'm incredibly healthy.

You get it from malnutrition.

Scurvy can lead to
tooth loss, bleeding eyes
and heart failure.

Or... or it could not, because
it's also a super easy fix.

- Right, Dr. Reid?
- Correct, Dr. Tosh.

You need to add citrus fruits
to your diet.

Which could be super fun.
And hello,
farmers' market, right?

You could be, like,
the hottest guy there.

Plus all the girls
at the farmers' market
are super liberated,

you know what I mean?

I can't maintain 6% body fat
eating fruit.

You do you, Tarzan.

Oh. One tip, though.

Might be tough to tear into
a steak with only four teeth.

You don't strike me
as the poker type.

You seem like
a Bananagrams guy.

Blake, my boy,
there's a whole lot
you don't know about me.

Watch these hands.

I've done a whole lot
of dancing on the green felt.

My old poker nights with
Dr. Turk were pretty crazy.

Bam, that's what
I'm talking about!

Hey, play my song.

♪ Hey, Macarena! ♪

Those were some of
the best times of my life.

Sibby! Hey, girl. You know
how to throw them cards?

Poker night, tonight,
my house. You in?

Poker?

No. I don't gamble.

What's the game?
Five-card stud? Texas hold 'em?
What's the buy-in?

Are there buy-backs?
Cash game or winner takes all?

No, I don't gamble.

I'm sorry, I need to
go make a phone call
to the...

- She'll be there.
- Yeah, she will.

I feel sorry for him.

I feel sorry for us.

You're a doctor. I've been
a doctor for 20 years.

He goes like this
for 30 seconds on the toilet,

and suddenly
he knows more than us.

I mean,
we're just trying to help him.

I know, but every patient
in here uses their phone
for medical advice.

It's kind of the world now.

And, Sam,

I don't like you
enabling patients like that.

So when we're rounding,
I don't want to hear or see
your social media.

Phones are turning people
into brain-dead idiots.

I'm not a brain-dead idiot.

No, of course you're not.

But I'd like to take you
seriously as a doctor,

and right now, I'm not sure
you've given me a reason to.

- Dr. Turk, you know...
- Yo.

...I'm not sure how things
worked in the 1900s,

but you can't make interns
do personal stuff.

To you, it looks like
you're helping me pack snacks

for my kid's softball game,

but secretly, I am teaching you
a profound surgical
life lesson.

Okay, you're just
making this up
as you go along, aren't you?

Lesson one.
Always think on your feet.

Well done, Dashana.
You want kids?

I do, but like
most women surgeons,
I'm freezing my eggs.

Okay, well, before you hit
defrost on those bad boys,

just know this is what
your life is gonna look like.

Surgeons are much different
than medical.

We're always on call, okay?

And every time
you run out that door,

someone's always disappointed.

Damn. Well,
so how do you make it all work?

Hmm? Oh.

Uh, well, you don't.

Uh, like right now,

my best friend
wants me at poker night.

But Carla's shift just got
canceled and she wants me home.

I bet
you miss these, Papi.

I mean,
she really wants me home.

Okay, yeah,
I think this lesson is done.

No, not so fast, young Padawan.

There's one last thing
no surgeon likes to do,
but we do it anyway.

Give bad news.

Dr. Turk's wife sent him
some freaky pictures.

Now he's not gonna be at poker.

He said he will,
quote, "Be hitting that."

I'm sorry for your loss.

Aces over eights! You know
what that means, fools.

Can we deal
the next hand, please?

♪ Hey, Macarena! ♪

Just serve the dip, bitch.

Aw, man.

Hey, I drank too much.
Is it okay if I crash here?

That's definitely
gonna be a no.

When Turk had sex
after a dry patch,

he wouldn't tell anyone,
but there would be signs.

Good morning,
Sacred Heart.

Scratchers for everybody.

If I get lucky, you get lucky.

Scratcher for you,
scratcher for you.

Oh, Francois Dubois,
scratcher for you.

- Thank you, king.
- Yas, queen.

Here you go, scratcher for you.

Miss Sibby.

I need a win. I need a win.

Ugh. Thanks for nothing.

Hey, Blake, lean back.

I'ma make it rain.

Scratcher, scratcher,
scratcher, scratcher.
Scratcher!

Hey, how's it going?

Something tells me
you got lucky last night.

You know a brother
don't kiss and tell,
but hell to the yeah!

How'd it go last night?
Sorry I had to bail.

Just like the good old days.

- Really?
- No.

I'm in the hole, man!

Please don't flip it.
It's brand new.

It's mahogany.
You gotta lift with your legs,
baby. I'll help.

No, no, no. Hooch. No.

- So Sibby tried to
flip a table? Damn.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Your next poker night's
gonna be amazing
'cause I'm gonna be there.

- We're cool, right?
- Turk's
your best friend.

You can tell him
how you really feel.

I can't believe
you had an intern tell me.

This was supposed to be
the start of a new chapter
of my life,

and you abandoned me.

That's what you get.

Yeah, we're cool.

Oh. I didn't know
you were religious.

Oh, no, I'm not. I found
this in a patient's room.

I'm using it to hide my phone.

Dr. Reid is, like,
all over me about it,

but I have this feeling there's
something else wrong
with a patient,

so I'm doing a deep dive
on his socials.

I think
that's really great, Tosh.

I've read that book.

He dies
and comes back in the end.

Amara, we gotta go.

I was pissed at Turk,

but I still had to set
a great example
for our interns.

We're still waiting
for the chest CT,

but the initial CRX confirms
that Darrell here has pneumonia
like I thought,

and not appendicitis like
Dr. Turk mistakenly thought.

But that's okay,
'cause I always have his back

even though
he doesn't have mine.

Okay.

What Dr. Dorian
is trying to say
is we don't have to cut you,

unlike his words, which
I believe were meant to cut me.

Oh, that's a first. A surgeon
diagnosed something correctly.

Medical, roll out.

Pfft. Hey,
let me borrow that real quick.

I'll pray for you.

Pfft!

Dr. Turk, my phone.

Yeah, this change is
really hard on both of us,

but you just gotta figure out
your new normal.

What's that about?

Nothing. Just Dr. Selfie
being more interested
in DMing patients

than diagnosing them.

"Dr. Selfie"? You're starting
to sound a little like Dr. Cox.

Dr. Cox was hard on me,
but he taught us
how to do things the right way.

He also called you Barbie
and undermined your confidence
for years.

Don't you remember
how that made you feel?

She's really smart.

I mean, keep an eye on her,
but give her a chance
to do it her way.

Okay, let's do this.

Now I need to handle
my own drama
with a little flourish.

Do people actually know
you learned that at magic camp?

I didn't go
to magic camp, Turk.

I went to Criss Angel's
Sleight of Hand Symposium
for Wooing Women.

Okay.

Look, it sucks you blew off
my poker night for sex.

I needed to be with Carla.

Things are hard for me, J.D.
Work, marriage, kids.

I got a lot of pressure.

It takes a lot out of me
to keep it all going.

Dr. Reid.
I know you said no phones,

and you're probably gonna
call me Dr. Selfie again--

No, I won't. Go ahead. Show me.

This stuff on Logan's page
is really concerning.

You see that?

I used to be that fat loser,

and I would rather die
than go back to being him.

So there's just post
after post like this?

Yeah. This isn't just
about some fad diet.

I think it could be
some kind of eating disorder.

You're right.

He's so obsessed
with healthy eating,

it's become a compulsion
and made him sick.

It could be orthorexia,
and I missed it.

That was a really good catch,
Dr. Tosh.

Honestly, I'm just...
I'm tired of hearing
how overwhelmed you are

by your big happy family
and your wife that loves you

when I spend half my time
completely alone.

I wish that
I had your problems.

You sure about that?
'Cause I never get to be alone.

Last week,
I got stuck in the stairwell.

I didn't call for help.
I just stood there, at peace.

So yeah, maybe I'd love
just a little of your problems.

Radiology called up. It's about
your pneumonia patient.

One of the things that
didn't change about this place

is that it has a way of
bringing people back together.

Orthorexia is a relatively new
eating disorder.

We're gonna help you
get through this.

Unfortunately, sometimes
it's the hard moments
that mend us.

So the pain was mimicking
appendicitis due to the shared
neural pain pathways.

But it turned out to be
a post-obstructive pneumonia

caused by that spiculated mass.

So Darrell has lung cancer.

He just had a baby.

It's so awful.

So who's going to tell him?
Surgical or medical?

♪ Solid ground ♪

When things
like this happen,

we suddenly see everything
just a bit differently.

Tell Nora Uncle J.D. says,
"I hope she hits a home run."

All those things
that felt overwhelming,

with a little perspective,

suddenly feel like a gift.

You wanna come?

I mean, there's a divorced mom

who drinks Chardonnay out of
a Stanley cup and wears no bra.

I'm pretty sure
you two will hit it off.

Sounds like
a great first mistake.
Maybe another time.

- You know what?
Give her my number.
- Already did.

- I'll see you tomorrow?
- Yeah, man.

And too much time alone
feels like an opportunity

to be there for someone else.

- Oh. Hey, Dr. Dorian.
- Hey.

This week sucked.
We're getting hammered. You in?

Sure. I don't have
anything else going on.

Appletinis on me.

Ooh. I will not be having that.

But if you are catching
the check, let's go.

I've never tried
an appletini before.

I've never finished
a whole drink before.

Well, I hope you two
like older women,

'cause tonight
you're hooking up
with Granny Smith.

Okay, now everybody
take it slow.

I ordered these
easy on the 'tini,

but the sugar in these things
can still make you
a little crazy.

Thanks for buying, Dr. Dorian.

I'm a little light
till my next paycheck.

Hey, uh,
what do you guys got there?

You doing eight-ball,
nine-ball?

Damn.

Am I into Sibby?

Okay, just one for me,

then I got a date with my couch

and a little movie star
named Sandra Bullock.

- Um, no...
- No...

I know they're
just kids, but it's nice
to find a little community.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Slow. Go slow.
I told you to go slow.

The best part is
they have no idea just how bad
an appletini hangover is.

Ugh.

- Pinky out, little slow sips.
- Mmm.