All language subtitles for We Are No Angels (Noi non siamo angeli) 1975-subrip

Hey, watch your ho-

... hose!

Oh, sorry.

I bet you must have
growled just like that

when you went into the ring,
eh, against Black Bull?

No. Only when I finished.

They called him the
Nebraska Jawbreaker.

What an unforgettable fight!

You know how
I can remember it?

At the odds they gave, I took
a flyer with two weeks' pay.

Old Black Bull, he had flattened
many a good opponent,

but he had never been in the
ring with a real champion.

I bet all he had to do
was look into your eyes,

and get knocked out
by the glare.

Hey, pull up your pants.
They're all full!

Watch his eyelids, his eyelids!
He's about to go, look!

It's the third round.
Go get him, Raph!

Right.

Think of the $3000!

- Huh?
- Three, Raph!

Hey, McDonald!

You're wanted
on the telephone!

Raph!

Don't hit the referee.
Hit Black Bull!

$1500 each. Yay!

The winner!

He did it!

And that was the kiss of Judas.

Did you ever see any
of that $3000?

No, well neither did I.

I should have known there
was some screw job somewhere.

Else you wouldn't be here tightening
bolts from morning till night.

Okay, take it away!

You're next on the
grease pit, mister.

Careful, straight ahead.

Oh!

Howdy.

- Ain't that ... ?
- Judas.

Uh-oh.

Come here, you.
I'll break you in two!

Wait a minute! Let me explain.
I'll tell you everything.

You should have told me
three months ago, you thief!

Damn it, he's gone crazy!

Crazy?
What do you expect?

Swindler!

Where's my $1500?

How can I tell you?
Let me explain.

You don't have to.
New type of car.

Her name is Caroline!

You like horns. These are
Smith and Wesson. The best.

And I'm the best car wrecker.

Hey!

Caroline's not mine.

The hell you say! I'm going to
rip it. I'm going to smash it!

- Thief!
- Halt!

Huh?

Thief, maybe.
But honest!

This car's in both our names.

And that's the truth, Raph.

What's this all about underneath?

- Underneath?
- Underneath your fast talking.

Another one of your
hare-brained schemes

to leave us with our asses
hanging out, right?

I admit I had trouble recuperating
one slight investment or two.

But this time I bought a concession,
a franchise for both of us.

All you have to do is
leave everything to me,

and be good to little brother.

Sorry, as I was saying, I bought
this concession, for public transport.

We got it made!

- Oh oh.
- Brother...

I'll make you a concession.

The car stays, and you'll beat it!

Get out of here, or I'll break you!

I beg your pardon.

Kindly explain what's
wrong with McDonald?

He's our cleanest craftsman.

Far from a craftsman and clean,
this McDonald...

is a scum!

Scum?

You're, you're...
you're fired.

No, I'm not.
I quit!

The minute that rascal
stuck his nose in here.

This is the first and last time I
put my face in this filthy place.

Music lessons?!

If at the time
I'd left you the $1500,

... that's all you
would have bought.

But at least
I'd know how to play.

Ah, wait till I've doubled
your capital,

then piddle away your
money on music lessons.

Like me to account
for the expenditures?

Huh?

Yeah, $500 for the car, and then what?

That was just the beginning.

Buying the concession cost
me a couple of thousand.

Testing the engine, $500.

That makes three grand.

Every cent of Black Bull's
match accounted for.

Your accounts always work out,
but I never see a cent.

Oh, this time, no it's all arranged.

It's organised, right, Caroline?

Listen, if you don't tell me what's
going on on right now, I'm getting out.

After I've smashed you.

I'll explain it.

High Falls is a little city
I know in the mountains.

High Falls is miles away
from a train.

I use imagination.

Transport the passengers and merchandise
out of High Falls to the train,

and vice versa with
Caroline. See?

That's enough!

It has been rumoured

that the Progressives
are meeting in secret

to plot against
the Conservatives,

against the very men who
founded this country!

Who brought it wealth and fertility.

And to them I say,

I say...

"Mala tempora currunt."

"Mala tempora currunt"
for the Progressives!

It's for the mayor's house.

Three crocks he's bust
in one month.

When I speak
you must applaud!

Oh, shit.

Oh, what'll I do now?

I say applaud!

- Why aren't you applauding, huh?
- I'm not from these parts.

Read this, it's the synthesis.

The what?

The compendium, the substrate.

Oh, yeah, yeah, the...
the -

What it really is,
is the summary of the speech.

I remind the
Progressives that...

in as much as the
railroad...

passes a hundred
miles from here,

any other mechanical transportation must
keep its distance from our confinium.

And whosoever
dares to cross it,

will get his guts blown out
by a...

a...

a pumperdick horn!

$2000 for a concession, okay.
But...

I've got a sneaking suspicion that
$500 for fixing' Caroline is -

- ... is what?
- Still in your pocket.

If you don't trust me,
you can check and see.

- Just what I'm going to do.
- Hey, Raph, no!

No, not my long-johns!

Okay, keep 'em,
they got no pockets.

Thanks.

Where is it?

Where did you hide that
$500, you swindler?

Hey, wait.
Wait, will you?

Don't leave me naked,
you dumbbell. Come here!

I'll report you. Report you for
outraging public decency.

Oh, and what's she doing?
She's looking.

You can't even drive.

Caroline's too small for me.

Your case is too big.
Why don't you get a smaller one?

Oh, shut up.
What do you know about music?

Tell me something.
In whose name is Caroline?

In both of ours.

That means she's half mine
and half yours.

Right. So?

You're on my side, so move.

I always said we could get along
since we have the same mother.

But with different fathers.

Mama was a Spanish lady,
and Catholic to boot.

What made her marry a Scotch
Presbyterian, I wonder?

From what I've heard,
your English dad was no choirboy.

What do you mean?
That's where they met, in church.

So that's where I got jinxed!

- Now what's the matter?
- Where the hell are we?

I'll explain. The
concession's paid for,

and this spot here
goes with our franchise.

We open our agency here, and
we'll make a lot of money.

I just can't swallow the cost
of repairing Caroline's engine.

Have you got that
printed up here?

To haul a caravan with
freight and people,

Caroline's horsepower
needed a boost.

That's what our profits depend on.
Otherwise we won't make a penny.

If we don't make a profit,
we've had it.

This time everything'll work out.

And you just get it through
your head,

that if it wasn't for me,
you know what'd happen?

You'd go back to that grease hole.

Yeah, well look
at you.

You're already
in a privy hole.

But I'm the first to use it.

Hey, there wasn't one here.

There wasn't one there, either.
I wonder who dug them?

- A big mole.
- Yeah, big as you.

Howdy, strangers.

Howdy!

Howdy.

What are you doing here?

Power drilling.

What are you drilling for?

China, if I can bore through!

Get it, stranger?

- No?
- Huh?

I was just joking.

But there's plenty up in High Falls
like you, thinking I'm a fool.

I know that's your impression too.

- Oh, no.
- Well, I'm not mad.

But only a fool would look for Mongolian
molasses here. That's petroleum.

- Mongolian...
- Molasses.

Yes, the female of the big mole.

Ah, no.

By the way, though.
You haven't told me your names yet.

Mine is Angel,
and his is Raphael.

Mine is Archangel.

- That makes three of us, eh, Raph?
- Seems like we've landed in Heaven.

Oh, not yet, we haven't.

High Falls is in Heaven.

Would you fellows
give me a ride to town?

- Musicians, huh?
- I am. He has a tin ear.

I'm leader of the town band.

You should let Raph play a solo
with the band instead of himself.

- I'm getting mad.
- And I'm getting out.

Sit down!

You two fight like Progressives
and Conservatives up at High Falls.

"Progress is regress."

They like jokes in these parts.

Okay...

you're one up on me.

Nice and shiny.

And it toots.

Hey, mister, how come
it goes so fast?

80 horses inside.

A big guy like that's
still telling baby stories.

You kids had better
run along home.

Hey, Raph,
you see what he did?

Okay, okay...
it's in my half.

But she's in both our names.

Cut that out,
and give me a hand.

With this many, are you
going to ditch me?

Give him a hand, Slim.

There are already too
many horns in the town band.

No, no!

They're delicate instruments.
You'll ruin them!

Think what I've
had to pay for these.

Hey, Raph.
See what he did?

I reckon' he's distracted.

- Look here...
- The music case!

Now you look.

- Take off his glasses.
- Get them off. Get them out!

Strike!

- What is it?
- Nothing.

You again?

I just want to
tell you, she's dusted.

Come here a sec.

Help, Raph!

Help!

Watch it.
Watch the left, watch the right.

Wait.

- Hit him.
- Stop it, Willy. Andy's scared.

All's well that ends well, I say.

There we go!

Revised...
and corrected.

Take it to headquarters.

At last, a real man.

And the very least you two-fisted
Progressives can expect from Evelyn

is to have her invite you over,
and join us for dinner.

- Did I hear right?
- Yeah.

Willy's coming too.

That girl's just like her father.

He was a fine mayor.
And High Falls was a fine town.

Until that scallywag Shark forced him
into an early grave with a broken heart.

Dividing peaceable folks
into opposing parties.

Professor!

Conservatives loyal to Shark,
and us who are Progressive.

Let's eat.

Indeed, progress brings violence.

I've been a regular
boarder here quite a while.

I moved here last May Day.

That's when my grandma
went to glory.

- Sis?
- Yes!

Set another two places.
We've got company.

I'll be right there.

My sister Linda.
I'm Evelyn.

Angel and Raphael.
But he prefers to be called Raph.

He's no angel!
Look at that beard.

Come on.
I'll give you a hand.

Oh, yes.

I'll serve it.

Vegetable soup. She makes it
better than my grandmother did.

Oh, a fly!
Don't worry, I'll get it out for you.

- I'll get it, Professor.
- Soup's too good to pass up for a fly.

It's not for the fly.
He's a vegetarian.

He'd like to kill people who
kill animals to eat. It's true.

Children...

Linda, let's have
dessert and coffee.

How could you eat all those eggs?

The secret is
to swallow them whole.

Oh, did you have
anyone teach you?

An old ostrich.

I like you boys, especially
because you're both bats.

Tell me, what brings you to High Falls?

We're intending to
operate a transport agency.

The house in the valley is
where I'll make our depot site.

Well, I advise you not to,

because that zone there

is full of
pompolou bricola underground.

What's that?

Well, they're like
little insects,

parasites that
infect the whole valley.

Is that right, huh?

No, not on your life, mister.

They're signs that
there's petroleum.

What else would you do?

Ah, we'll be really in business...
when we get Caroline going.

When she opens up the first time,
they'll come running to climb on top.

Right, anybody would want to
climb her, fiery as she is.

She's got bumpers
front and back.

You see Raph here, here's trying to
say that our Caroline has a great body.

We jumped on her one at a
time, and then both together.

- Right, Raph?
- Right.

Ah, but we'll provide her with a working
mate. One for there, one for here.

It's essential in this business that
anyone can be accommodated at both ends.

And boy, will the cash
roll in... like a torrent.

Oh, then I want to
be the first client.

First one, then t'other.

We're progressing, Evelyn.

Progress is what lets us
young fellows keep rejuvenated.

Hey, wait a minute.

What's this for?

That's my sign!

No! Wait, no!

Hey, Raph! Get this fellow!
He doesn't feel anything.

- Neither do I.
- Watch this, Raph.

Throw it away.

Where are you?

Over here.

In the teeth.

Now here.

More this way.

Thanks.

This fellow's valuable, Raph.

With every blow, he opens up a
little window in our caravan.

- Now I'll open another one.
- Whereabouts?

In your forehead.

Come on.

Scotsman, are you?

Aye.

After all, he did give us a hand.

- You know what I'm going to tell you?
- What?

Give me that 500 bucks
you've got left. I'm clearing out.

Stop harping on it, will you Raph?

The transport concession belongs
to Shark until the first of April.

It's only normal they
want to destroy us.

But we'll split up
for security's sake.

Okay, you sleep here
in the caravan.

And I will be the martyr.
Yeah, I'll sleep with Caroline.

You're a bunch of cowards.

And I'm not paying for cowards.

I'm not a coward.

No, you're not.

You're not a coward,
you know why?

You're an idiot.

You know why you're an idiot?

Because you got solder in
your head instead of brains.

The Professor thought
you might like a cordial.

Hold this.

- May I?
- Surely.

This cordial is an
infusion of herbs.

It's a carburetor, unstopper-upper.
Another one of my specialities. Bye bye!

He's lost his marbles.

Hey, what's it like?

- Cheers.
- Cheers!

A real unstopper-upper.

It's h-, h-
It's hot as a pistol!

Got burned, eh?

- What?
- Your eyes are watering.

Get busy.
Work it off, kid.

You're kidding me.

Instead you should thank me
because I got you out of that hole.

In that hole I worked less,
and got paid every week.

Yeah, but you never
reckoned that that hole might have

been filled with your body,
dismembered by Droopy Lids,

if he had caught on to what we
did to him before the fight.

Are you listening?

I'm talking about Black Bull.

You know what'll happen
if he goes after you wide awake?

He'll murder you.

But the fight was your idea.
And so were the sleeping pills.

Right! Would you have
fought him without them?

Never in my wildest dreams
would I have fought that beast.

And you know damn well
why I agreed to it.

Yes, of course.
To buy your music lessons.

That's all we need.

Again!

I won't stay in this
house another minute!

What's wrong?
Gertrude?

The toilet again, Your Honour.

That's the fourth
one to blow up in a month.

It's a Progressive, Sheriff.

They're gunning for me!

Lucky he wasn't
sitting on it.

Willy, you've got to stop blowing
up pots, or Grandfather will get it.

Those two are fixing up that caravan the
Stratton sisters used for a chicken coop.

Then we'll wreck it.

Any comments, Mr Pilot?

Let them finish it, Mr Shark.

Later, it will be even
more fun demolishing it!

Oh no, hey hey!

I checked her over
from bumper to bumper.

And she's just the way
mother factory made her.

Raph, were you really
the mechanic in that hole?

What else?

Not the jack?

- I'll take you apart!
- I was kidding.

- I'm not!
- Look! The Professor.

Don't stand there staring.

The game leg!

Nothing unusual.

And when your
game leg aches

you have to lean on
something for support, don't you?

Now, let's see.

Nope, even if I straighten
the pipe, it's not enough.

I'll have to make do with
the one on the model.

Hey, Grandpa.

Yeah, I spied them.
I spied them a bit ago.

Well, come on in, friends.

I'll look for a longer one.

To finish the whole project,

what I really need is economy,
with a perpetual drive and motor.

An unfrictioned motor, at the least.

Where the hell are we?

In the 13th Century,

Marco Polo said he saw
fountains of Mongolian molasses,

or petroleum,

that could keep a machine
running for a thousand years.

And they thought he was joking, too.

All joking aside,
I'll find that stuff.

Grandpa figures there's a lot
of molasses deep in the ground.

- Enough to bury the town.
- We'll find it!

Well, that's why there's
all those mole holes.

Grandfather makes them.

He's an inventor too.

He's a writer on animals and birds,
and more than just that.

He also creates nice toys.

An archangel sent here,
by Heaven.

He got that moniker pinned on
him in town, for his inventions.

And if I show you what
they are... you'll see why.

They're outside,

Professor, if the chance ever comes up,
could I play in the band?

Well, in fact my dear boy,
there's just one little difficulty.

The boys in the band are
rather prone to jealousy, so...

we should wait for a
player to catch cold,

for example, uh,
Benjamin. Yes!

Why Benjamin?

Because he plays the
pumperdick horn!

Hey, Raph. Take a look
at these contraptions.

See? Archangel second...
and archangel third.

- What happened the the first?
- Its wings broke.

A victim of progress.

It won't happen again.

The Professor's got it now, he figures.

Both are able to carry a grown-up
by air to your depot site in the valley.

I know it makes you weak in
the knees to think about it.

From here to reach the valley,
you've got to drop 2000 feet.

But humanity is filled with morons.

I'll bet my boots that sooner
or later, I'll find two.

The professor
sent you this.

It's his new
unstopper-upper.

Hey, Angel, try it.

This won't burn
your mouth. It's milder.

Good.

In this nice quiet
town no one ever sleeps.

And this damn town has seen
the last of me, after I smash you.

What's the matter?
I'll let you sleep with Caroline.

- That powder doesn't work.
- What? Don't you remember -

Shh!

The mayor ran for 3 days.

Turn me loose.

That's just what
I'm going to do.

I'll turn your insides loose.

Control yourself.

Remember, you promised
Mama to look after me.

Uh-uh, now wait a minute.

You wait a minute.
I've got to run.

Don't you want to play
your solo with the band?

I've got to crap.
Not now!

Out of my way!

Oh, no!

Stop, damn it!

Had to be here, right?

Couldn't you do it
some-place else?

Get out of here!
Out!

Out.

Hello, Evelyn.

Should I...
Should I apologise?

Did I offend you?

But I'm delivering to you
all I promised you.

I've brought you the muscle we need.
I've got Raph with me.

Look Evelyn, don't act
like a bear with me.

My brother mustn't suspect what
I'm doing for you, until after the race.

We'll win it just as you planned,
and then the concession is all yours.

I can say one thing.

I know for sure, once Caroline opens up,
I'll be the first in line.

- Evelyn!
- Go to hell, you and Caroline.

Evelyn!

Now I'll play doctor,
and give you vaccinations.

Typhoid.

- Hey, we're missing something.
- What?

Quick!

Oh, go away!

Evelyn, let me talk, huh?

Evelyn, let me talk.

This is all a misunderstanding.
You mustn't cry. You misunderstood.

Why is she crying?

Because she's afraid
of vaccinations.

Evelyn, stop crying.

Hey, for Heaven's sake,
shoo shoo, will you?

Look, what else do I
have to put up with?

- Evelyn.
- Go away.

But please, give me a chance.
Let me explain to you once.

I said go away.
I never want to see you again.

Caroline...

Caroline is my car.

Oh, Angel!

- Angel!
- Excuse me.

Where are you going?

To the fields,
to get you some daisies.

Wait here.

What a lovely day isn't it?
Good morning.

Good morning.

Stop! Stop!

Play somewhere else!

Those two got the caravan ready.

- What does it say on it?
- Rapid Transport, Angel and Raphael.

- It's ready, Mr Shark.
- Ready? Then start wrecking it.

I'd start with the car.

By now it's obvious to me that those
two are waiting for the day of the race

to win the concession
for the Stratton sisters.

Hey, boss!

- We'll take care of it, boss.
- You?

Not only are you bigger idiots
than Ironhead, you've got no guts.

I can make up for that.

- No guns, stupid.
- That's what I thought you said.

Mr Shark... I have an idea.
I think I found the right man.

The right man?

What we need are men.

All available men.

I want to see that jalopy
and caravan in pieces...

in small pieces!

Wait.

Shove along, Lacy.
Come on home. Come on.

Whose caravan is this?

Why do you have to wreck it?
We worked so hard.

No, don't wreck my caravan.

Not anymore, it's not.

You!

Hey, why are you waiting?
Aren't you going to help me?

- We're the demolition squad.
- Demolition squad?

- Tell them to roll up their sleeves.
- Hear that?

Hey, Raph, these guys
are putting us to work.

There'll be some overtime too.

- The car.
- On Sunday?

- The preacher'll be mad.
- So what?

Okay, let's forget about the preacher.
But I tell you one thing.

If he gets mad,
you know what happens then?

- Tell him.
- You know what's going to happen?

I'm leaving.

Willy, now listen to me.
Violence is not polite.

Look, I told you not to look!
Turn round.

Turn around.

Don't slug me.
Kick me!

No, no.

Don't tweak so hard.

Sit down!

- Sit!
- It's freezing!

Sit.

You.

What now?

Don't slug me, I can't hit back.
It hurts me just to lift it.

It's just a stone.

Put me down.
Put me down!

Voilà!

Make room.

- Sit down or you'll drown.
- Very well. Thank you.

What's he
got in there? Iron?

Oh, my foot!

Fire one!

Fire two.

Now that he's out of balls,
let's see what he's firing.

Who's nicked my balls, huh?

Don't move.
Don't even breathe.

Hey, are you crazy?

Put the ball back.

Put it back, I said.
Go on, you.

Strike one.

Bull's-eye.

Bash your brains out.

- Where'd you learn how to play?
- With the Philadelphia Athletics.

- I can't even play in the band.
- Too bad.

You could play first base.

Now I'm going to play you!

Come here.

Hey, quick, quick, quick.
Caroline!

Keep out of it, Evelyn!

Don't touch Caroline.

See that?
UCLA 1909.

When I threw my javelin,
I set a new record.

That's their tough luck.

Now it's your tough luck.

- Since you're so smart.
- Hey, Raph...

No, no, don't smash that case!

Raph!

No, no, it's a delicate instrument!

Instrument.

Where is it?

Come here.

That does it.

So I see.

Heads up.
He's got it.

Here, hold on to it.

- You take it.
- Why me? Pass it to Slim.

It's over there.

You take it!

Pick these lousy teeth
out of my beard, will you?

Hey, put that barrel down.

Don't duck!

Help me, Raph!

By the skin of my teeth.

I saved your case.
Put up a good fight, eh?

Yeah, by the skin of your teeth.

You also lost that.

And wherever that came from,
I'm sure there's more.

No, no, no.
Let go of me.

You searched my pockets
like this, so help me.

I programmed everything.
Wait a second, Raph.

I worked it out.
I started the ball moving.

You'd be nowhere without
me to make it move.

Yeah? Okay, then let's
see you make that move.

Hey, Raph, did you see, eh?

Hey...

That $20 is mine.

Give it to him.

We're poor, but honest.

Well, he tried.

What did you say?

There was a fly
on your ear.

Let me go!

Come down.

Look at them.

I sent them out to demolish...
and they come back demolished.

It wasn't my idea.

Starting tomorrow,

nobody in High Falls,
and I mean nobody,

will ever mention the word
"Progressive" in my presence.

Or the word "progress" again.

Or write it.

Or even think it.

Now get out of here.

I said, get out.

They've even put them in order.

We had to obey,
or get blown up.

I'll blow you up.

I'll blast you to hell!

What's that?

They call it
an auto-mobile.

The front end toots,
and the rough end smokes.

Come on in.

Uh-oh.
Not the right moment now.

How did that dynamite work?

Perfect.

- Like the mayor's toilet.
- Shh.

Aha, it's you who's been
stealing my blasting caps.

And after I warned you, Willy,
not to touch them.

Off you go to bed,
without your supper.

Run along.

Polly?

And don't you
lead them on, either.

Those two could open
a school for mischief.

But for you,
it's a great day.

One of the trombones in the
band has dislocated his jaw.

So we have had to
change our programme.

You can do your solo today.

You can play with
the boys in the band.

- I'm really curious to hear them.
- Well, let's go then.

- N- Now?
- Yes.

- Like this?
- We're waiting.

But... but I'm
out of practice.

A real musician makes
practice sound wonderful.

Don't be afraid.
You'll be brilliant.

Oh, shut up. What do
you know about music?

It remains to be seen.

Raph, that's not your place.
I want the brasses on the other side.

Now, now, don't waste
any more time.

That's where you belong.

- But, professor, I have a -
- Quiet!

Look, Benjamin. What that guy
blows would choke you.

Hey, look.

Darn it.

On the other side.
Quick.

Here.

But professor,
what's the difference if I -

No, don't argue.

- You stand there.
- Okay.

Oh... a piccolo with the brass!
What next?

He's a fine boy inside.

You ought to
tell him, Angel.

You have to explain
everything he doesn't know about.

Linda's right.
He's your brother.

Nah, we're just partly brothers.

He buried
his father upright.

Just imagine! On end!
So as not to buy so much land.

What should I say?

"Raph, your piccolo case is where I
hid the $2000 for the franchise.

"Tomorrow morning, I'll pay the whole
concession price to the sheriff."

Yes!

And that would be
the end of me.

Mr Shark, I would like
to make a suggestion.

The contest is set for tomorrow,
I'll run that jalopy off the road.

And they'll end up at the
post office in a hearse.

That team'll fly.

- Come on, make them fly!
- Ha! Ha!

- Faster!
- Ha!

Faster!

Mr Shark.

Faster!

Mr Shark, may I...?

You may, but my mind's made up.

It's last Friday's paper.
Read what it says under the picture.

Determined to make
mincemeat of Raphael McDonald.

Black Bull.
That's the man we need.

A black man with a car?
A Progressive black?

Maybe. But that's the only
man who can get rid of them.

Look what the reporter says,

and read the caption
under the picture.

Don't you think that'll
settle our problem?

No, I'll settle it with my horses.

Besides, he'd never get
here in time, anyway.

What if he's already here?

Let's pack up
and go home, fellows.

That was hard work for me
because I know nothing about music.

I can't play anything but ragtime,
so I'll give it to you.

Like I said, your
practising was wonderful.

No, Raph!

Now wait, Raph let me explain
everything to you, huh?

- Please let -
- There's nothing to explain.

You're a liar and a thief!

Let me at least get a word in, eh?
Please let me get -

When I get you...

You have the nerve! Come here!
You could do this to me, eh?

I busted my ass, promising my
mother I would look after you, right?

I brought you up, didn't I?

I sent you to college...
to earn a degree...

with my money.

And how do you repay me?

You learned to play
the bloody trombone.

- But after I did my homework.
- Shame!

I learned to play in my
free time. Honest, Raph!

I had time
for sports too.

I won my letter.
I got my Masters'.

And I didn't even have
time to master a piccolo.

And I said, "Professor, could I
play a small solo with your band?"

I made a complete ass
out of myself.

- Come here, you thief!
- I'm not a thief.

When I catch you,
I'll damn well kill you.

That's no way to keep
your promise to Mama.

Mama!

Wait, what did I do wrong?

After all, it's your fault, too.

You never give me time
enough to explain anything.

I've had enough of you, and Caroline,
and the concession, and her.

Raph, don't run out on me.

The next time we meet up,
you'll be lucky if you can walk out!

You were lucky once.

Look Raph, give me time.

You mustn't just up
and leave me here.

Raph, I depend on you.

You listening?

You ruined my career, McDonald.

Now you're going to pay for it.

- All right, go your own way, Raph.
- Oh no you don't.

Come on.

Why is he blinking?
Still sleepy?

Yeah.
Hear his eyelids click?

My blink is a nervous tic.

And this is a click.

Break, break...
Break his dirty neck.

He can't see you.
Fire two.

Come on, man, stand up and hit me.
Come on, I'm waiting.

Now I'm waiting.

Come on, come on.

I'm coming.

Want a bite?

Get up.

Someone up there
doesn't like it.

Watch it.
This round is with you.

Now, now, Raph,
don't get excited.

- Let me explain.
- Shut up!

I made up that
sleeping pill story.

I needed the money
for the concession.

If I don't give the Sheriff
that $2000 tomorrow,

we're out of the race and it's
goodbye, transport agency.

You can't leave me now.

You get in my way,
and I'll run over you!

Forget the $2000.
Forget I exist, you crook.

We started a night
to remember happily, with song.

All participants
in the contest

are requested to align their
means of transportation behind

the starting ribbon.

We remind the public that it is
dangerous to stand along the road.

Anybody wishing to watch the
arrival of the contestants

is requested to go to the valley.

To the post office.

The last wagon is leaving now.

We remind you, that there
is still time to enter the contest.

- You sure you don't want to race?
- I'm positive.

Hooray, hooray!

Let's start the race.

Hooray, hooray!

Get a horse.

Just my luck! When I'm ready
to leave, she won't start.

What's the matter?

Andy?

Andy.

Andy.

The little lamb...

they...

roasted it.

- Where is he?
- There.

This banquet
is not taking place.

They started it.

They want to
stop the contest.

Damn vandals!

Oh, the violence.

Now, reverend. We must set
an example every so often.

Go get them, Conservatives.

Now, start the race!

That's against the rules.
We still have 5 more minutes.

Start it, or I'll break
your damn watch.

Get away from me.

Start the race.

The lasso's ready.

Oh, shit.

Here he comes.
Run. Run!

We didn't want you to leave.

You're not a couple of kids.
You're a couple of monsters.

Oh, but it's your fault,
because you're nice.

That's right, Raph.

And because you'd have missed
the bonanza of a lifetime, brother.

Hey, at the next shot, we start.
Me, you, and Caroline, huh?

We're all signed up
for the race.

- My money!
- Run, run. Get out of here.

Hand over my money or I'll
smash you to pieces, you crook.

Now wait a minute.

Raph, don't be crazy.
We start at the next shot.

Hurrah for the Conservatives!

Hurrah for Shark!

Go on, Shark!

Down with the Progressives!

Have a look at the
crook behind you.

Now I'll make my comeback.
This is a hundred horses.

Did you hear that?
A hundred horsepower.

Hey, where are
you all going?

A hundred horsepower.

I'm going to smash
you to smithereens.

Look, we haven't got
a second to lose, eh?

You can smash me afterwards, okay?

On your marks,
get set... go.

Push.

Keep pushing.

Bat shit.

Now what?

I've got a feeling I'm
going to smash you right now.

- Wait a minute.
- There's nothing to wait for.

Your race is over, see.
No motor.

The garage!
Come on, push.

Hurry, hurry.

You mean the professor's barn?
It's uphill.

We've got to get her out of sight.
Faster!

It was all figured.
One for there, one for here.

I never suspected what this
devil nicknamed Archangel

would think of
to stop us.

Take your idea and
stuff it up your nose.

Professor!

Hey, wait.

The archangels!

I think I've got it,
but I'd better test it on you.

This is right.
Tighten this.

If you think I'm going to fly,
you're crazy.

This one here,
the other one there.

- I'm just using you as a model.
- I'm not going to fly.

One goes like this,
the other like this.

Watch where you
put your hands.

Yeah, let's see where
we put our hands.

Keep one on this pole,
and the other one on this pole here.

Our hands?
You mean yours, brother.

Oh, I've had a lot of
practice, don't worry about me.

I fought a war
with things like this.

They go whoo!

- Control it!
- I'm coming!

I can't control myself!

What the hell kind
of war did you fight?

I sprayed poison
on Spanish flies.

See, Raph,
they stay up just fine.

I told you!
The wings!

Yes.
But my pants... nooo!

Sure, we're not angels!

Hey, Conservatives

You just lost
the concession.

Come on, fly.

Up yours.

- Shark can still win.
- What's going to stop him?

- A miracle from Heaven.
- A miracle?

Raise the wings like this.
We're landing!

I'm raising mine!

But when I hit ground,
I'm going to clip yours!

Want to go back
to that grease pit?

- Pick it up and run!
- Run where?

Those ruins over there.
That's our goal.

At Boston College, I was
twice cross-country champion,

and I can still run.

With my $500!

Bastard.

What are we telling them?
That we transport by plane?

Come here.

I don't see any goal.
All I see is a haystack.

Just wait.

Damn it! All I need
is a sprained ankle.

What the hell
are you up to now?

Pull the rope.

All programmed, all organised.

Caroline first, Caroline second.
One going, one coming back.

Hop in!

We are rid of
them, Mr Shark.

Finally.

We made them
eat our dust.

Conservatives...

up yours!

They can fly.

Those two bastards
are still in the race.

Faster!

Angel!

Raph.

As of this moment, the
Stratton concession begins.

Stratton, yes.

Because it belongs
to the sisters now.

I guess.

- The sisters?
- The Strattons.

You mean for Miss Goggle Eyes
and Miss Google Eyes,

you made me a big -
a big - a big...

Listen, I have a
proposition to make.

I'll chase you
clear to Hell and back!

Linda!
Linda, hurry!

Hey, you want your motor?

I only borrowed it.

I never expected that from you.
We nearly lost the concession.

We lost it anyway!

No, no, Raph, no!

Now I've got you.

- All my life...
- Let me explain!

I've supported you,
and now I'm through!

Let me explain!

I'm through!

They are mad men!

Tell me the truth!
What was between you and her?

Tell me, the truth, or I'll...

- Raph!
- Shame on you!

Raph!

You are failing to
honour your word to Mama!

Don't you mention
Mama to me.

Tell me the truth!

Somebody...
pull them apart!

It was love at first sight.

Which one?

Evelyn.
We met in the general store!

And you bought her
bill of goods for love?

You jerk!
I'm going to drown you.

Gentlemen, for Christ's sake.

I want
my money.

For Christ's sake!

Take a look around you!

Hip hip hooray!

Petroleum, at last.

I told you...

we'd find oil!

Taste it.

Right?
It is oil!

We're rich!

It's a great day!

Great day!

We made it, little brother!

We are rich!

We're rich, we're rich.
We're filthy rich!

Professor, you beat us all.

- I bet this belongs to them.
- It's ours! They have the concession...

- It's ours?
- ... we have the oil land!

- It's ours!
- So let's get married!

Hey rain, rain!

We're all black.
Now we're all one family.

Right!