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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:08,642 Man: BRITAIN AND AMERICA, 2 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:12,146 THE TWO GREATEST GODDAMN NATIONS IN THE WORLD. 3 00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:16,050 ANYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH ME IS A DIRTY SHITTER. 4 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:18,252 WE SHARE SO MUCH-- 5 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,055 A LANGUAGE, A MORAL HIGH GROUND, 6 00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,690 AND A LOVE OF WAR. 7 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:25,693 BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE OF BRITAIN AND AMERICA, 8 00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:29,897 THE ORDINARY FOLK WHO MAKE THESE LANDS SO GREAT? 9 00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,165 WHO ARE THEY? 10 00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:32,500 WHAT DO THEY? HOW DO YOU DO? 11 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,636 LET'S TAKE A LOOKING AT THEM NOW 12 00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:38,706 IN "LITTLE BRITAIN USA." 13 00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:44,678 Narrator: ONE THING BOTH OF OUR COUNTRIES CAN BE PROUD OF 14 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:48,682 IS THAT WE HAVE THE FINEST JUVENILE DELINQUENTS IN THE WORLD. 15 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,818 AT THIS BOOT CAMP IN UTAH, 16 00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:52,953 SOME NEW INMATES HAVE ARRIVED. 17 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,089 EVERYBODY OUT 18 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:57,057 ON THE DOUBLE! 19 00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:58,392 MAKE A LINE! 20 00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:02,029 MOVE IT, LADIES, MOVE IT! 21 00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:04,498 LET'S GO! 22 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,171 WELCOME TO WILDERNESS LODGE. 23 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,873 YOU ARE HERE FOR A REASON-- 24 00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:17,978 ARSON, DRUG ABUSE, VIOLENCE. 25 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,680 IT'S GOING TO BE TOUGH. 26 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:23,684 BUT IF YOU STICK TO THE RULES, YOU'LL SURVIVE. 27 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:27,054 OKAY, ROLL CALL. 28 00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:28,556 LETISHA DEAN. 29 00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:29,557 YEAH. 30 00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:30,791 HAYLEY EVANS. 31 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:31,792 YEAH. 32 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:32,860 NATALIE KIRK. 33 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:33,861 YEAH. 34 00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,529 VICKY POLLARD. 35 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:36,730 YEAH. 36 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:40,601 BUT NO, BUT YEAH, BUT NO, BUT YEAH, IT'S ME. 37 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:42,670 BUT I SHOULDN'T ACTUALLY BE HERE OR SOMETHING OR NOTHING, 38 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,205 BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU THE WHOLE THING, BECAUSE THIS WHOLE THING HAPPENED-- 39 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:45,539 WHAT I DID YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT, 40 00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:47,475 BECAUSE A WHOLE LOAD OF US WENT OUT DISNEY WORLD 41 00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,877 ONLY WE ALL GOT CHUCKED OUT FOR BEATING UP THE ARISTOCATS. 42 00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:52,446 AND THEN HANNAH GARVEY SAID WE SHOULD ALL GO BACK IN AFTER MIDNIGHT 43 00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:55,216 AND BURN DOWN THE PETER PAN RIDES AS A JOKE. 44 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,650 SO WE ALL WENT BACK THERE BUT I NEVER DONE NOTHING. 45 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,719 ALL I DID WAS, LIKE, POUR THE PETROL, LIGHT THE MATCH. 46 00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:01,289 THAT IS IT. AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, I WELL STARTED GETTING BLAMED FOR IT 47 00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:03,224 BUT IT WASN'T JUST ME. AND IF KELLY RAYMOND SAYS IT WAS, 48 00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:06,227 THEN DON'T LISTEN TO HER 'CAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS SHE DYES HER MUSTACHE. 49 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:09,597 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST SAID. 50 00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,131 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 51 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,833 OH MY GOD, YOU'RE SO RACIST. 52 00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,468 I JUST TOLD YOU THE WHOLE THING, RIGHT, THEN SHUT UP! 53 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,103 HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO SHELLY CAMON? 54 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:17,638 BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT SHELLY CAMON. 55 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:20,174 SHELLY CAMON IS WELL A MIXER AND SHE COMPLETELY HATES ME 56 00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,942 BECAUSE SHE REALLY FANCIES TONY TOZER 57 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,244 AND SHE'S REALLY HAD IT IN FOR ME 58 00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:24,478 EVER SINCE TONY TOZER FINGERED ME 59 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,046 ROUND THE BACK OF THE YOUTH HOSTEL. 60 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,681 AND WHEN SHE FOUND OUT SHE WENT TOTALLY MENTAL. 61 00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:29,483 BUT ANYWAY I WAS NEVER EVEN ANYWHERE NEAR THAT RIVER 62 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,785 SO HOW COULD I HAVE PUSHED THAT WOMAN IN? 63 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,888 OK, SHUT UP NOW. YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE. 64 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,590 I NEVER EVEN SAID ANYTHING ANYWAY. 65 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,826 GOD, THIS PLACE IS, LIKE, WELL GAY. 66 00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,994 I SAID SHUT UP! 67 00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:42,230 YEAH, AND I HAVE SHUT UP. 68 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:43,397 SO SHUT UP TELLING ME TO SHUT UP. 69 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,865 SHUT UP! 70 00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:47,167 YEAH, EVERYONE, SHUT UP! 71 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:51,239 I SAID SHUT UP! 72 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:53,173 SHUT UP. 73 00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:56,544 THAT WAS AN ECHO. 74 00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:59,780 OKAY, EVERYBODY INSIDE ON THE DOUBLE! 75 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,217 YOU WILL BE GIVEN YOUR BUNK ASSIGNMENTS. MOVE! 76 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,586 CAN I JUST SAY SOMETHING, ACTUALLY? 77 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,187 'CAUSE I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY HAD THE CHANCE TO SAY ANYTHING YET. 78 00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,922 I'M WELL NOT SHARING. CAN I JUST SAY THAT? 79 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,058 I'M BEING SERIOUS BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT FAT GIRL WITH THE MANKY FOOT? 80 00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:13,060 SHE WAS WELL EYEING ME UP ON THE COACH. I WELL RECKON SHE'S A LEZZER. 81 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,762 I'M NOT BEING FUNNY BUT I DON'T WANNA BE GETTING CHANGED 82 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,664 AND HAVE HER STARING AT MY DAWSON'S CREEK. 83 00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:19,433 RUN! 84 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,435 ALL RIGHT. 85 00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:27,241 Narrator: BRITAIN HAS HAD RUDE AND UNHELPFUL RECEPTIONISTS 86 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,842 FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS. 87 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:32,980 CAROL BEER EXEMPLIFIES THIS FINE TRADITION. 88 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,682 - HELLO. - Wife: HI. 89 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,755 HELLO. 90 00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:45,926 WELCOME TO ST. JOHN'S HOSPITAL. MY NAME IS CAROL. 91 00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,828 HOW CAN I HELP YOU? 92 00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:50,197 WE NEED TO GO STRAIGHT TO THE MATERNITY WARD. 93 00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:51,932 RIGHT. ADMISSIONS. 94 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,068 - NAME? - HELEN FISHER. 95 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:56,804 YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A HELEN. 96 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,007 NO, I'M HELEN FISHER. 97 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,041 I'M GRAHAM FISHER. 98 00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:03,744 YOU'RE BROTHER AND SISTER? 99 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:06,347 NO, WE'RE MARRIED AND MY WIFE'S ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY. 100 00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,684 THE COMPUTER SAYS NO. 101 00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:12,786 WHAT? 102 00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,388 BABY'S NOT DUE YET. 103 00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:15,756 I GOT YOU DOWN FOR NEXT WEEK. 104 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:19,192 LOOK, HER WATER BROKE. SHE'S HAVING IT NOW. 105 00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:21,194 - THIS IS URGENT. - RIGHT. 106 00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:23,797 BETTER PUT YOU UNDER "URGENT ADMISSIONS." 107 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,471 JUST WAITING FOR THE PAGE TO COME UP. 108 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:43,283 COMPUTER'S A BIT SLOW TODAY. 109 00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:46,720 RIGHT. NAME. 110 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,289 HELEN FISHER. 111 00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,495 HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE HOSPITAL? 112 00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:58,966 - UH-- - IT'S JUST OUR NEAREST HOSPITAL. 113 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:02,169 HOW SATISFIED ARE YOU WITH THE CLEANLINESS OF THE HOSPITAL-- 114 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:05,406 - IT'S FINE IT'S FINE! - ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, 115 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:08,175 1 BEING EXTREMELY DISSATISFIED 116 00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:10,277 TO 10 BEING ALMOST TOO SATISFIED? 117 00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:12,846 LOOK, MY WIFE IS ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH. 118 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,583 - CAN YOU CALL A DOCTOR, PLEASE? - IT'S DR. SEYMOUR. 119 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:19,019 COMPUTER SAYS NO. 120 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,287 WHY? 121 00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:22,289 WE'VE GOT MORE THAN ONE DR. SEYMOUR. 122 00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:24,958 DO YOU MEAN THE DR. SEYMOUR IN THE MATERNITY WARD 123 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,428 OR THE DR. SEYMOUR IN THE ARTIFICIAL LIMB UNIT? 124 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:30,631 WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 125 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:39,773 I THINK IT'S PROBABLY THE ONE IN THE MATERNITY WARD. 126 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:43,611 - OH, I THINK IT'S COMING! - THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! 127 00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:46,580 WOULD YOU JUST CALL THE DOCTOR, PLEASE? 128 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,950 ( calls softly ) DR. SEYMOUR. 129 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,886 ( singsong ) DR. SEYMOUR. 130 00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:54,988 HE'S NOT RESPONDING. 131 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,957 ON THE TELEPHONE! 132 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,933 HELLO, TICKETMASTER? 133 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,268 I'D LIKE TO BOOK A TICKET FOR "PHANTOM OF THE OPERA," PLEASE. 134 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,103 YES, I'LL HOLD. 135 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,706 I'LL CALL HIM STRAIGHT AFTER. 136 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:17,411 ( coughs ) 137 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:21,482 Narrator: BRITISH PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN FASCINATED BY THE DEEP SOUTH. 138 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:26,119 WE MARVEL AT HOW LIBERAL YOUR VIEWS ARE THERE COMPARED TO OURS. 139 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:29,590 DID YOU HEAR ON THE LOCAL NEWS ABOUT THE MAN DOWNTOWN? 140 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,992 THEY SAY HE GOT ATTACKED JUST FOR THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN. 141 00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:35,963 THAT'S TERRIBLE. THERE'S SO MUCH RACISM NOWADAYS. 142 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,632 THERE WAS PLENTY OF RACISM IN YOUR DAY, GRANDMA. 143 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,702 YOU MAY THINK THAT, BUT THE TRUTH IS 144 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,604 FOLK WERE PRETTY TOLERANT IN THEM DAYS. 145 00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:47,174 I REMEMBER IN THE TOWN THERE WAS A BLACK GENTLEMAN. 146 00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:49,543 HE WAS A PREACHER, A MAN OF GOD. 147 00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:51,011 AND HE RAN FOR MAYOR. 148 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,947 AND SO THE TOWNFOLK ELDERS WERE UP IN ARMS. 149 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:56,650 "WE AIN'T GONNA VOTE FOR NO NEGRO," THEY SAID. 150 00:06:56,750 --> 00:07:00,353 BUT HE WAS A POPULAR MAN. AND HE BECAME MAYOR. 151 00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:02,590 WELL, THAT'S WONDERFUL. 152 00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:05,626 TURNED OUT HE WAS ALSO A JEW, SO WE SHOT HIM. 153 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,765 Narrator: DIVORCE IS NOW SUCH A CULTURAL PHENOMENON IN AMERICA 154 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,735 THAT DOLLY PARTON EVEN WROTE A FAMOUS SONG ABOUT IT 155 00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:18,138 CALLED, OF COURSE, "NINE TO FIVE." 156 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,240 SO YOU'RE LEAVING ME FOR A WOMAN. 157 00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,209 YEAH. 158 00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:24,211 NOW YOU'RE A LESBIAN. 159 00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:27,748 CAN WE JUST GET THIS OVER WITH? 160 00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,683 I THINK THIS IS YOUR SCRABBLE. 161 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,351 YEAH. 162 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:35,022 I JUST DIDN'T SEE THE SIGNS. I HAD NO CLUE YOU WERE INTO WOMEN. 163 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,360 "ELLEN DEGENERES LIVE IN LESBOS." 164 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,295 YEAH, THAT'S MINE. 165 00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:45,799 "NO BALLS, PLEASE. THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF BILLIE JEAN KING." 166 00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,400 - THAT'S MINE. - YOU SURE? 167 00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:48,802 YEAH, I'M SURE. 168 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,606 JODIE FOSTER'S COMFORTABLE SHOES. 169 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,708 OH YEAH. I ASKED FOR THOSE FOR CHRISTMAS, REMEMBER? 170 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,677 YEAH. 171 00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,781 K.D. LANG ACTION FIGURE. 172 00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,718 "ANNE HECHE: THE EARLY YEARS." 173 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,654 "CAGNEY AND LACEY" MASSAGE OIL. 174 00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:09,890 OH, YEAH. THESE ARE ALL MINE. 175 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,795 A SET OF "THE L WORD" EGGCUPS. 176 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:18,599 OH, YEAH. I NEVER USE THOSE BUT THEY ARE MINE. 177 00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,134 VIRGINIA WOOLF BLOW-UP DOLL. 178 00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:23,503 OH, THAT WAS A PRESENT FROM-- 179 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:24,838 FROM GILLIAN. 180 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,841 SO HER NAME'S GILLIAN? 181 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,910 YEAH. 182 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:34,815 "OPRAH AND GAIL'S BIG BOOK OF DUNGAREES." 183 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,349 THEY'RE NOT LESBIANS, ARE THEY? 184 00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,251 NO NO. 185 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:44,758 "MARTINA NAVRATILOVA'S GUIDE TO DRINKING FROM THE FURRY CUP." 186 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,261 YEAH, THAT'S MINE TOO. 187 00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:52,365 I GUESS THAT'S IT. 188 00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,867 I SUPPOSE THIS IS GOOD-BYE. 189 00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,437 WAIT A SEC. WHAT'S THIS? 190 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,439 "SIR IAN MCKELLEN'S BOOK OF MEN'S BOTTOMS." 191 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,675 OH, THAT'S MINE. 192 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:09,382 Narrator: 80% OF AMERICANS ARE MORBIDLY OBESE. 193 00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:12,052 THE OTHER 20% ARE JUST PLAIN FAT. 194 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:15,756 THAT'S WHY BRITISH WEIGHT-LOSS INSTRUCTOR MARJORIE DAWES 195 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,591 HAS COME TO DISPENSE ADVICE. 196 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,527 HELLO, FATTIES! 197 00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:21,862 HELLO! 198 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,997 MY GOD, SOME OF YOU ARE BIG! 199 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:27,034 I'M GOING TO START WITH A LITTLE GAME 200 00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:29,637 THAT I PLAY WITH MY BRITISH CHUMS CALLED, 201 00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:33,073 "WHAT'S MY LOW-FAT OPTION?" ALL RIGHT? 202 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:38,912 NOW, WE ALL LIKE FATTENING FOODS, DON'T WE? 203 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,281 YES. THAT'S WHY WE'RE FAT. THERE. 204 00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:43,083 WELL, YOU ARE. I'M NOT. 205 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:47,187 SO WHAT I'M GONNA DO IS I'M GONNA ASK YOU 206 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,857 EACH TO TELL ME YOUR FAVORITE FATTENING FOOD 207 00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:53,393 AND THEN I'M GONNA COME UP WITH A LOW-FAT OPTION FOR YOU. 208 00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:55,629 ALL RIGHT? SO WHO WANTS TO GO FIRST? 209 00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:58,131 POP YOUR FAT PAWS UP. 210 00:09:58,231 --> 00:09:59,132 YES, MY LOVE. 211 00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,101 HI, I'M JENNY 212 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,736 AND I LIKE ICE CREAM. 213 00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,404 - Man: MMM, ICE CREAM! - People: MMM. 214 00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:07,708 I THINK YOU LOVE ICE CREAM, DON'T YOU? 215 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:10,210 MMM. WELL MY ADVICE TO YOU, BIG JENNY, 216 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:14,214 WOULD BE INSTEAD OF ICE CREAM, HAVE AN ICE CUBE. 217 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:17,550 YEAH? THEY'RE DELICIOUS AND VERY LOW IN FAT. 218 00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:19,720 SO I'M GONNA PUT THAT UP ON THE BOARD 219 00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:22,389 BECAUSE THAT'S YOUR LOW-FAT OPTION. 220 00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:26,226 ICE CUBE. 221 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,529 IT'S QUITE LOVELY, ISN'T IT? 222 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:33,333 BIG LAUGH. OKAY, SO WHO WANTS TO GO NEXT? 223 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,635 YES, YOU, THE FAT MAN. 224 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:37,070 IT'S TONY. 225 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,272 FAT TONY, YEAH. 226 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,942 I LOVE HAMBURGERS. I EAT A HAMBURGER EVERY DAY. 227 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:45,378 EVERY HOUR, BY THE LOOKS OF YOU. ( laughs ) 228 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,414 'CAUSE HE'S VERY FAT, YEAH. 229 00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:50,517 NOW WHAT I WOULD SAY TO YOU, FAT TONY, 230 00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:53,286 IS IT'S ACTUALLY THINGS INSIDE THE BURGER 231 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:54,321 THAT MAKE THEM FATTENING, OKAY? 232 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,589 SO CUT OUT THE MAYONNAISE. 233 00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,225 CUT OUT THE SWISS CHEESE. 234 00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,559 CUT OUT THE KETCHUP. 235 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,796 CUT OUT THE BEEF AND JUST HAVE THE BUN. OKAY? 236 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:06,967 AND THAT'S YOUR LOW-FAT OPTION. ALL RIGHT? 237 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:10,203 "DRY BUN." 238 00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,872 DE-LISH. 239 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:15,909 OKAY, SO, LET'S HAVE ANOTHER FATTY. WHO'VE WE GOT? 240 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,979 UH, YES, MY ILLEGAL FRIEND, YES. 241 00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:22,349 WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FATTENING FOOD? 242 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:23,784 CHOCOLATE. 243 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,486 SORRY, I DIDN'T QUITE-- 244 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,088 CHOCOLATE. 245 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:28,722 DO IT AGAIN? 246 00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,457 CHOCOLATE. 247 00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:33,026 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 248 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,327 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 249 00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:35,428 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 250 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,529 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 251 00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:37,630 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 252 00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,032 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 253 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,734 I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S SAYING. DO IT AGAIN. 254 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,569 - CHOCOLATE. - SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S-- 255 00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:43,871 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 256 00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:45,538 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 257 00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:46,639 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 258 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:47,741 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 259 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:48,842 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 260 00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:49,943 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 261 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:50,978 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 262 00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:54,081 - DO IT AGAIN... - CHOCOLATE... 263 00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:55,382 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 264 00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:56,583 - DO IT AGAIN. - CHOCOLATE. 265 00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:58,585 OH, CHOC-- NO, DO IT AGAIN. 266 00:11:58,685 --> 00:11:59,820 CHOCOLATE. 267 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,489 MUST BE SOMETHING THEY EAT OVER THERE, 268 00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:06,193 I DUNNO. BEANS, I WOULD IMAGINE. 269 00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:08,128 SO WHAT IS THE LOW-FAT ALTERNATIVE TO BEANS? 270 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,529 ANYBODY? 271 00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:10,931 A BEAN. 272 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,801 OKAY. 273 00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:19,372 AND THAT IS YOUR LOW-FAT OPTION. 274 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:24,577 ALL RIGHT, SO, WE'VE GOT TIME FOR ONE MORE. 275 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:25,979 YES, THE OLD ONE, YEAH. 276 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,115 WELL, ACTUALLY I JUST WANTED TO 277 00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:30,283 LET EVERYONE KNOW MY BIRTHDAY'S TODAY 278 00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:33,787 AND IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO COME OVER TO MY PLACE AFTERWARDS FOR DRINKS, 279 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,755 - YOU'D BE MORE THAN WELCOME. - All: OH, SURE! 280 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:38,758 WELL, WE REMEMBERED AND SO I BAKED YOU THIS CAKE. 281 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:40,794 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 282 00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:44,131 NO. I'M CONFISCATING THIS. 283 00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,666 BUT BUT IT'S HER BIRTHDAY. I BAKED IT JUST FOR-- 284 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,135 I'M SORRY. IT'S FOR HER OWN GOOD. 285 00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:49,469 IF SHE TOOK ONE BITE OF THIS, 286 00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:51,839 WE'D HAVE TO ROLL HER OUT OF HERE. 287 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,907 OKAY, WELL THAT'S ABOUT ALL WE'VE GOT TIME FOR 288 00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,976 SO IF YOU'D LIKE TO WADDLE OUT OF THE ROOM 289 00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,879 AND WE'LL SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEK. CHEERIO! 290 00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:06,786 I GOTTA TELL HER SOMETHING. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, OKAY? 291 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:10,523 UM, I'M GOING ON VACATION NEXT FRIDAY 292 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,861 SO I WON'T BE HERE FOR THE CLASS NEXT WEEK. IS THAT OKAY? 293 00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:17,865 MARJORIE? MARJORIE? 294 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:25,973 SURE. JUST MAKE SURE YOU EAT SENSIBLY WHILE YOU'RE AWAY. 295 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:38,485 Narrator: MANY MILES AWAY IN DAYTON, OHIO, 296 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:42,422 THIS AMERICAN COUPLE ARE WAITING FOR THEIR BRITISH RELATIVES TO ARRIVE. 297 00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:45,225 I MADE SOME CUCUMBER SANDWICHES AND SOME SCONES. 298 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,327 - MM-HMM. - WHAT DO BRITISH PEOPLE LIKE TO DRINK? 299 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,829 OH, TEA'LL BE FINE, I'M SURE. WITH COLD MILK. 300 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,831 OKAY. WELL, I AM NERVOUS. 301 00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,500 I JUST WANT EVERYTHING TO BE RIGHT FOR THEM. 302 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,235 I KNOW THEY'RE RATHER PROPER, 303 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,004 - BUT HE'S JUST MY COUSIN, HONEY. IT'LL BE FINE. - OKAY. 304 00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:59,106 - ( doorbell rings ) - OH. 305 00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:03,643 - OH, WELCOME. GERALD. - HELLO. 306 00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:05,145 - GOOD TO SEE YOU. - HELLO, COUSIN. 307 00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:06,646 - CELIA YOU KNOW. - OF COURSE, YES. 308 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,015 - LOVELY TO MEET YOU. - WELCOME. 309 00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:10,617 - LITTLE HARVEY. - HARVEY. OH MY GOODNESS, 310 00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,119 LOOK AT HOW BIG YOU'VE GOTTEN! 311 00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:14,087 PLEASE COME IN. SET YOUR LUGGAGE ANYWHERE. 312 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,789 KELLY'S IN THE KITCHEN MAKING SOME TEA. 313 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:18,458 Celia: TEA. WONDERFUL. 314 00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:21,328 - LOVELY HOUSE YOU HAVE HERE. - Celia: YES. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 315 00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:24,297 I'M SURE IT DOESN'T COMPARE TO YOUR STATELY HOME, 316 00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,366 BUT WE LIKE IT. 317 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:27,834 TEA ANYBODY? 318 00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:30,870 - AH! THIS IS MY WIFE, KELLY. - HI. HELLO. 319 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,606 HELLO. IT'S SO NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU. 320 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:34,874 HELLO. HELLO. 321 00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,743 HELLO. HI, HARVEY. 322 00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:38,311 WHAT CAN I GET EVERYONE? 323 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,147 - I'LL BEGIN WITH A SANDWICH, PLEASE. - YES. 324 00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:42,882 SAME FOR ME, PLEASE. THANK YOU. 325 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,417 ARE YOU GONNA HAVE ANYTHING, HARVEY? 326 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:45,685 BITTY. 327 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,454 WE HAD BITTY ON THE PLANE, DARLING. 328 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:48,888 I WANT BITTY. 329 00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:52,092 ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE YOU DON'T MIND US STAYING 330 00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:53,593 FOR THE WHOLE WEEK? 331 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:54,861 OH. DON'T BE SILLY. 332 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,596 IT'LL BE A PLEASURE HAVING YOU HERE. 333 00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:58,966 - BITTY. - IN A LITTLE BIT. 334 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,968 - WANT BITTY NOW. - COME ON, HARVEY. 335 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,835 YOU'VE HAD QUITE ENOUGH BITTY FOR ONE DAY. 336 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:04,471 WANT BITTY. 337 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,940 OH ALL RIGHT, THEN. 338 00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:20,520 SO, WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND WE DO WHILE WE'RE HERE? 339 00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:24,857 UM, THE-- THE-- THE-- THE ART-- 340 00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,726 THE ART MUSEUM IS, UH, IS-- IS POPULAR. 341 00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:29,362 EH. IF THEY DON'T HAVE TOO MUCH OF THAT MODERN ART. 342 00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:31,864 - ( chuckles ) - ( chuckles ) 343 00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:33,700 OR A NATIONAL-- 344 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,668 - PARK. - --PARK 345 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,605 MAY BE MORE YOUR THING. 346 00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:41,308 OW! OH! YOU'RE BITING ME. 347 00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:43,476 I'M SORRY, MUMMY. 348 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:46,646 WELL, WE'VE SO MUCH TO SEE AND DO, 349 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,249 WE'D BETTER MAKE A PROPER LIST, HADN'T WE, GERALD? 350 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,351 OH YES, DEAR, MAKE A LIST, DEAR. 351 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,020 ( burps ) 352 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,954 NO NO NO NO. THAT'S ENOUGH NOW, HARVEY. 353 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,256 WANT MORE BITTY. 354 00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:57,924 WHAT DID I TELL YOU? I'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT. 355 00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,559 I WANT MORE BITTY. 356 00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,034 BITTY. 357 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,169 WOULD YOU MIND? 358 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,173 OH. 359 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,378 WELL, WE'RE ALL FAMILY. 360 00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:26,953 Woman whispers: PRETTY. 361 00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:28,388 Narrator: ON BOTH SIDES OF THE ATLANTIC, 362 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,590 MARRIAGE IS A WONDERFUL WAY 363 00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,592 OF DESTROYING NOT JUST YOUR OWN LIFE 364 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,894 BUT ALSO SOMEBODY ELSE'S. 365 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,830 MONKEYS. 366 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:41,668 THAT LOOKS LIKE THE MALE MONKEY OVER THERE. 367 00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:46,173 THAT SMALLER, FAT, UGLY ONE MUST BE THE FEMALE MONKEY. 368 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:48,741 SO. 369 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,445 SITTING ON OPPOSITE ENDS. 370 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:55,315 COULDN'T BE FURTHER APART FROM EACH OTHER. 371 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,186 SO. 372 00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:03,256 AND MAYBE THEY WERE ONCE IN LOVE BUT 373 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:06,193 THAT LOVE DIED A LONG TIME AGO 374 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,795 AND ALL HIS HOPES AND DREAMS WITH IT. 375 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,733 NOW THEY'RE TRAPPED IN A CAGE, 376 00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,604 IMPRISONED TOGETHER IN MISERY. 377 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:27,080 I REALLY AM NOW JUST WAITING FOR YOU TO DIE. 378 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:29,349 RIGHT, THE TORTOISE. 379 00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:39,526 Narrator: OVER AT THE WHITE HOUSE, 380 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,461 THE PRESIDENT IS HAVING HIS FIRST MEETING 381 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:44,030 WITH THE NEW BRITISH PRIME MINISTER. 382 00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:47,066 SO DO YOU HAVE THE DOCUMENTS THE BRITISH INTELLIGENCE HAS PUT TOGETHER? 383 00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:52,172 YES. I HAVE THEM RIGHT HERE. I GOT THE FOREIGN OFFICE TO MAKE A COPY FOR YOU. 384 00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:53,740 WHAT ARE THE BULLET POINTS HERE? 385 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,609 BASICALLY THERE IS A POTENTIAL THREAT TO OUR COUNTRIES. 386 00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:58,945 THE NUCLEAR CAPABILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST ARE BEING BUILT UP. 387 00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:00,413 AS WE THOUGHT. 388 00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,415 I THINK WHAT WE NEED TO DO, MR. PRESIDENT, 389 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,050 IS PUT ON A SHOW OF STRENGTH. 390 00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,985 THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, PRIME MINISTER. 391 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,356 MAYBE IF WE POSED TOGETHER WITH OUR SHIRTS OFF FOR THE WORLD'S PRESS. 392 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,059 WHAT? 393 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,027 WE COULD GET ALL OILED UP 394 00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:17,330 AND HAVE A WRESTLE. 395 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,267 - WRESTLE? - YEAH, 'CAUSE WRESTLING IS QUITE MACHO. 396 00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:21,968 AND I'D LET YOU WIN, OBVIOUSLY, 397 00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:24,837 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 398 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,340 I'M NOT TOO SURE THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, PRIME MINISTER. 399 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,641 WHY DON'T, UH, WHY DON'T I GET MY ADVISORS 400 00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,677 TO PUT TOGETHER A FEW OPTIONS FOR US? 401 00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,782 WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE NAKED. 402 00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,049 NO? 403 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,818 UNLESS YOU WANT, NO. WE COULD WEAR THONGS. 404 00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:41,188 I MEAN, IT WOULD PROBABLY BE MORE APPROPRIATE, ACTUALLY, 405 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,756 AS WE ARE WORLD LEADERS. 406 00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,024 ( knock on door ) 407 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:49,329 SORRY TO BOTHER YOU. HELLO, DARLING. 408 00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:51,231 PRIME MINISTER, HAVE YOU MET MRS. STEELE? 409 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:52,699 SHE YOUR MOM? 410 00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:55,902 NO, SHE-- SHE'S MY WIFE. 411 00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:56,969 HELLO, PRIME MINISTER. 412 00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:58,305 HI. 413 00:18:58,405 --> 00:18:59,606 WELCOME TO THE WHITE HOUSE. 414 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:00,740 WHATEVER. 415 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:04,043 ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR STAY HERE WITH US? 416 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,679 UM, I WAS, YEAH. 417 00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:09,949 SORRY, WE'RE HAVING A MEETING HERE ABOUT, LIKE, WORLD THINGS. 418 00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:12,752 EXCUSE ME. I'M SORRY. 419 00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,255 DARLING, I JUST CAME BY TO LET YOU KNOW 420 00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:17,457 THAT I'VE MANAGED TO MOVE MY MEETING FORWARD 421 00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:19,692 - AND I CAN JOIN YOU ALL FOR DINNER THIS EVENING. - EXCELLENT. 422 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,794 DO WE REALLY WANT HER THERE? 423 00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:24,431 WE'LL SEE YOU AT 8:00. 424 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:25,532 GREAT. 425 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,066 GOOD-BYE, PRIME MINISTER. 426 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,202 YEAH! GOOD-BYE! 427 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:36,709 UH, WHERE WERE WE? 428 00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:39,011 UM-- OH, YES. 429 00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:40,247 PRIME MINISTER, PLEASE! 430 00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:41,414 OH MY GOD, YOU'RE GORGEOUS. 431 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:42,949 I WANT YOU INSIDE ME RIGHT NOW. 432 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:45,652 WHOA WHOA WHOA. 433 00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:50,323 YOU KNOW, UH, MAYBE WE SHOULD RESUME OUR TALKS 434 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:53,260 ABOUT THE MIDDLE EAST, UH, TOMORROW. 435 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:56,263 YES OF COURSE, MR. PRESIDENT. 436 00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,467 - THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. - OH, DON'T, I'M TICKLISH! 437 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,769 ( laughs ) 438 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,605 OH, GOD. 439 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,740 PRIME MINISTER. 440 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,143 OH, MR. PRESIDENT, YOU COULD DO SOME DAMAGE WITH THAT. 441 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:12,745 PLEASE. 442 00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:15,315 THAT'S WHAT I CALL A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION. 443 00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:19,886 Narrator: IF YOU LIKE YOUR HOME AND YOUR CLOTHES 444 00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:22,989 AND ALL YOUR PERSONAL EFFECTS TO SMELL OF DOG, 445 00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:24,791 WHY NOT GET A DOG? 446 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:28,828 PHYLLIS CHURCH IS A TYPICAL AMERICAN DOG OWNER. 447 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,964 HAVE YOU FINISHED YOUR BUSINESS YET, MR. DOGGY? 448 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,935 ( deep voice ) OH YES, MAMA. THAT WAS A BIG DINNER YOU GAVE ME LAST NIGHT. 449 00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:38,571 OH. ( laughs ) DID YOU ENJOY? 450 00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,473 IT WAS DELISH. 451 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,710 I MUST BE THE LUCKIEST DOG IN THE WORLD HAVING A MAMA LIKE YOU. 452 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:48,180 ( laughs ) THANK YOU. WELL, WE BETTER CLEAN THIS UP. 453 00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:51,117 I WANNA SEE YOU POOP. 454 00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:52,452 I'M SORRY? 455 00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:53,886 I WANNA SEE YOU POOP. 456 00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:56,689 YOU ALWAYS SEE ME POOP. I WANNA SEE YOU POOP. 457 00:20:56,789 --> 00:21:01,494 WELL, UM, NO, UH-- I CAN'T DO THAT. 458 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:05,031 SURE YOU CAN. YOU CAN POOP FOR ME. IT'D BE COOL. 459 00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:08,167 NO, UH, NO. UH, COME ON, MR. DOGGY. 460 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,404 UH, LET ME TAKE YOU TO THE PET STORE AND BUY YOU A NICE BALL. 461 00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:13,139 - POOP. - NO. 462 00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:16,075 - POOP FOR ME. - I SAID NO. 463 00:21:16,175 --> 00:21:18,978 IF YOU LOVED ME, YOU'D DO IT. 464 00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:24,651 I DON'T THINK I CAN POOP RIGHT NOW. 465 00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:28,555 SURE YOU CAN. YOU'VE BEEN FARTING LIKE A TROOPER ALL AFTERNOON. 466 00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:32,459 WELL, UM, UM, MAYBE A-- A LITTLE ONE. 467 00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:34,594 DO IT, GOD DAMN IT. 468 00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:36,363 OH. 469 00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:51,010 IT'S NOT EASY. 470 00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:53,380 JUST RELAX. 471 00:21:58,851 --> 00:21:59,786 THAT IS DISGUSTING! 472 00:21:59,886 --> 00:22:02,254 YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! 473 00:22:02,355 --> 00:22:05,124 OH, I-- I CAN EXPLAIN. I-- OH-- 474 00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:07,560 ( deep voice ) YOU ARE ONE CRAZY BITCH. 475 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,762 OH. OH. 476 00:22:15,902 --> 00:22:17,737 Narrator: SOCIALITE BUBBLES DeVERE 477 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:20,840 IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN BRITAIN. 478 00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:22,709 HAVING FLED HER CREDITORS THERE, 479 00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:25,878 SHE'S TAKEN A LUXURY CRUISE TO RIO. 480 00:22:25,978 --> 00:22:27,847 WELL, HERE GOES, 481 00:22:27,947 --> 00:22:29,348 MY LAST LUCKY CHIPPIE. 482 00:22:29,449 --> 00:22:32,419 ON THREE, PLEASE, DARLING. TROIS. 483 00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:35,121 NO MORE BETS. 484 00:22:35,221 --> 00:22:36,856 NUMBER 12. NO WINNERS. 485 00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:40,326 OH, UH, ACTUALLY I MEANT TO PUT MINE ON 12. 486 00:22:40,427 --> 00:22:41,561 CAN I HAVE IT BACK PLEASE, DARLING? 487 00:22:41,661 --> 00:22:43,730 I'M SORRY, MADAM. PLACE YOUR BETS. 488 00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:48,100 I'M PUTTING MY EARRINGS ON 21. 489 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:49,436 YOUR EARRINGS, MADAM? 490 00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:51,103 YES, DARLING. THEY'RE CARTIER. 491 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:54,106 DIAMONDS. DIAMONDS. 492 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,808 GERALDINE LIKES DIAMONDS. 493 00:22:55,908 --> 00:22:59,111 YES, A FAMOUS SONG, YEAH. GO, 21! 494 00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:01,013 NO MORE BETS! 495 00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:03,082 NUMBER 29. NO WINNERS. 496 00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:05,351 OH. DO IT AGAIN. DO IT AGAIN. 497 00:23:05,452 --> 00:23:06,586 DOES ANYONE MIND IF WE DO THAT ONE AGAIN? 498 00:23:06,686 --> 00:23:09,822 I'M SORRY, MADAM. PLACE YOUR BETS! 499 00:23:12,091 --> 00:23:13,860 - PLACE YOUR BETS. - ( zipper unzips ) 500 00:23:15,194 --> 00:23:16,529 MRS. DeVERE! 501 00:23:16,629 --> 00:23:18,765 - IT'S DIOR, DARLING. - REALLY? 502 00:23:18,865 --> 00:23:20,099 YES, BARRY DIOR. 503 00:23:20,199 --> 00:23:23,035 AND MY SHOES-- MY LUCKY SHOES ON NUMBER FIVE. 504 00:23:23,135 --> 00:23:26,506 - I'VE BEEN MARRIED IN THEM FIVE TIMES. - NO MORE BETS. 505 00:23:26,606 --> 00:23:29,241 I'M FEELING LUCKY, DARLINGS. CHAMPAGNE! 506 00:23:29,341 --> 00:23:31,110 CHAMPAGNE FOR EVERYONE! 507 00:23:32,344 --> 00:23:34,714 - 14. NO WINNERS. - OH. 508 00:23:34,814 --> 00:23:37,517 TAP WATER! TAP WATER FOR EVERYONE! 509 00:23:37,617 --> 00:23:40,620 THOSE SHOES ABSOLUTELY STANK ANYWAY. 510 00:23:41,888 --> 00:23:42,722 DO YOU MIND? 511 00:23:42,822 --> 00:23:45,191 PLACE YOUR BETS. PLACE YOUR BETS. 512 00:23:45,291 --> 00:23:46,726 NYAH. 513 00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,631 MADAM, WE CANNOT ACCEPT PANTIES. 514 00:23:51,731 --> 00:23:54,000 WHY NOT, DARLING? THEY'RE ENCRUSTED. 515 00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:55,267 ENCRUSTED? 516 00:23:55,367 --> 00:23:56,969 WITH RUBIES, DARLING. 517 00:23:57,069 --> 00:24:00,039 THEY WERE A GIFT FROM MY DEAR ARAB FRIEND, OMAR SHARIF. 518 00:24:00,139 --> 00:24:05,144 - I REALLY DON'T THINK-- - OKAY THEN, DARLING. TAKE THIS AS WELL. 519 00:24:05,244 --> 00:24:07,079 NOW FOR GOD'S SAKE, LET'S PLAY! 520 00:24:07,179 --> 00:24:09,482 NO MORE BETS. 521 00:24:09,582 --> 00:24:11,718 NUMBER ONE. NO WINNERS. 522 00:24:14,887 --> 00:24:20,059 WELL, I THINK IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHEN TO STOP. 523 00:24:20,159 --> 00:24:21,994 GOOD NIGHT, DARLING. 524 00:24:22,094 --> 00:24:25,898 Narrator: AND SO WE HAVE MET THE PEOPLE OF BRITAIN AND AMERICA. 525 00:24:25,998 --> 00:24:27,900 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A PHOTO? IT'LL LAST LONGER. 526 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,468 Narrator: HAVING NOW SEEN AMERICA, 527 00:24:29,569 --> 00:24:31,804 I DO FEEL IT HAS A LONG WAY TO GO 528 00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:34,240 IF IT WANTS TO BE TREATED AS BRITAIN'S EQUAL. 529 00:24:34,340 --> 00:24:37,610 PRESENTLY, WE REGARD YOU AS A FUNNY LITTLE COUNTRY 530 00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:39,612 WITH DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR. 531 00:24:39,712 --> 00:24:41,948 IN FACT, I HATE TO BE THE ONE TO SAY IT, 532 00:24:42,048 --> 00:24:44,851 BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD OF YOU. 533 00:24:44,951 --> 00:24:46,586 GOOD-BYE! 534 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:52,491 ( theme music playing ) 38891

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