All language subtitles for Life on Mars S01E02 The Real Adventures of the Unreal Sam Tyler

What's all this?

I'm just trying to make sense of what's
happening to me.

The way I figure, I'm in a coma
somewhere, or on a very intense drug

Maybe I've traveled through time, or
perhaps I've crash -landed on an alien

planet. And as we speak,
extraterrestrials are trying to harvest

I mean, such as it is.

Maybe I'm the victim of a mind
experiment.

Or maybe I've died and gone to heaven.
Or hell.

How about purgatory?

Or maybe...

gone insane because I don't know what's
real anymore.

What's this supposed to mean?

That represents the unknown.

All things I haven't thought of yet.

It's the one out of all of these that
scares me the most.

Hey. For your own good. If the
lieutenant did this, you'll wish you

back in time.

girlfriend in 2008.

I spent all last night trying to picture
her smile.

I couldn't do it, no matter how hard I
tried.

So, maybe if I can figure all this
out... Sam, no more of this crazy talk.

I'm trying to be a friend to you, but...
Okay, fair enough.

What I'm doing in 1973 and how to get
back, I'll figure it out on my own.

But until then, I guess I'm left with
only one option.

What's that, Sam?

To spend my time here doing what it is I
do best.

Which is?

Catching bad guys.

What's the big hurry, Trent?

We just want to talk to you about an
armed robbery. You run like that, we'll

begin to think you're guilty of
something.

Huh?

Oops.

Please, help me. What did you do that
for?

For making me run. All right, he's
dressed for a dip.

I can't swim!

Isn't this a predicament?

Nah, not really, scum. I'm slow.

Please!

Oh,

come on. You can't be serious.

Who are you working to check cashing
robberies with, Trent? I don't know

anything! You could tell it to us, or
you could tell it to the little fishies

the bottom of the lake.

Bye -bye.

I don't think he's going to come up,
guys.

Can't let him drown.

All right, get him out, Chris.

Well, I can't swim.

Ray. I took some lessons when I was a
kid. They didn't stick.

Unbelievable.

Chris?

You'll be fine.

Just breathe.

What's the hurry, Mark Spitz?

Hey, get this guy out of here.

Get out.

All the way from them, Spitz.

I miss you, Maya.

You okay, Sam?

Looks like one of them cartoon
characters got hit over the head with a

pen. Yeah, he does. Like in the funny
papers.

Like in the funny papers.

Yeah.

Like in the funny papers.

My name is Dan Tyler.

I was in an accident. I woke up in 1973.

I don't know how or why I'm here.

But whatever's happened, it's like I've
landed on a different planet.

Now maybe if I can work out the reason,
I can get home.

Last week, three AAA money check cashing
stores were robbed.

A little over $12 ,000 taken.

Oh, tasty haul.

And best of luck to them, whoever they
are.

Three bodies were found, one at each
store.

Penny Driscoll? Hey, looks like she was
cute.

Before she put on the dead tick mask.

Alonzo Kassouza and Dennis McGuire.

All shot.

And that's no small thing, considering
they were tough snugs behind bulletproof

glass with no witnesses, no sign of
forced entry. Yeah, that's very cool.

listen, any chance I'm going to get
sprung any time soon?

No laughing is on tonight.

I got it bad for that Goldie Hawn. We
know you're involved, Trent.

No one loves hitting check -cashing
stores like you and your monkey squad.

So who are you meeting at the pool?

I was meeting my Aunt Doris.

You know, you're just her type.

Oh, seriously.

I should give her your number. You could
be my Uncle Gene.

Uncle Gene.

Hey, that'd be perfect.

Why don't we practice?

Say it, you filthy scrope.

Mama, stop saying it.

Uncle! Uncle!

Uncle! Not bad.

What is someone who can't swim doing at
Lasker Pool, Trent?

Well, it's never too late to start.

Learning the backstroke ain't a crime,
is it?

We found this on you when we pulled you
in.

Could this be your cut of the AAA money
jobs?

Or you just need a little padding in
your swim trunks?

That ain't my scratch.

If it was, wouldn't it be wet?

You were saying?

What is it, Jimmy?

Assistant District Attorney Crocker's
here.

Fine. Throw this pile of puss back in
the cage.

Oh, no. Come on, man. That smell smells
like vomit.

Oh, I can help you with that.

What was that?

That money isn't from the check -cashing
robberies.

Yeah, and Roe versus Wade ain't really
two options when you find yourself in a

river.

What did that even mean? That's an
analogy.

No, I don't think it is. It's like an
analogy. Where I come from, what you did

is called tampering with physical
evidence, and it's a classy felon. I

know where you come from.

Where's that, hi?

Where guns are made of gingerbread, and
criminals confess for lollipops. Do you

have any evidence linking Trent to the
robberies?

Well, well, well. Now,

that was an analogy.

Oh, that was just obnoxious. Now, what's
a guy got to do to get an analogy?

If we had the evidence, we'd be able to
charge him by now, right?

That's a lot of questions for a
secretary.

There he is.

The golden retriever of the district
attorney's office.

Thank you, no nuts.

Lee, this is a transfer from Hyde. I
told you about Sam Tyler.

Sam, this is Lee Crocker.

Not only does he know where all the
bodies are buried, he knows the shovel

sizes.

Welcome aboard, Tyler.

Like two peas in a pansy pod.

Detective, if ignorance was a drug,
you'd be high all the time.

Now, that was an analogy.

I took a look at the file, Gene.

The FCC has a better case against George
Carlin and Seven Dirty Words than you

have against Kim Trent.

I agree.

We have no evidence to secure a
conviction.

Give us a second, Lee.

Detective Tyler and I need a moment.

Of course.

You want evidence?

A lens case.

What the hell is that?

There's 300 micro -docs LSD here.

We plan him on Kim Trent and watch him
grow into a big flower of justice.

That's just great.

I detect sarcasm.

How would you do it where you come from?

We wouldn't have pulled him in without
evidence.

Even if you knew there were people out
there in real danger? People are always

in danger.

One minute you're going about your
business, the next, bang, you're taken

a speeding car.

Well, I'm taking a speeding car off the
road.

So what do you want to do?

We give him a desk appearance ticket.

We cut him loose.

But we stay on him.

We follow him.

See where he takes us.

Get some real evidence so we can put him
away for good. That's your big plan?

Yeah, that's my big plan.

Fine.

Cut him loose.

But whatever happens next is on your
head.

You and Ray stay on Trent.

Anywhere he goes, you guys go. Got it?
Sure thing.

We'll relieve you in the morning.

Okay.

I don't know if Ray's going to go for
that plan.

Why not? He doesn't really, uh... He
doesn't like me. No. I know. No. The

put him in for a promotion in second
grade, and then you show up. He just

like you took his spot.

But I wouldn't take it personal.

Yeah, well, I didn't request his
transfer.

It just happened.

It's like Guantanamo Bay in here.

I wouldn't know. I've never been to
Puerto Rico.

Tim Trent, here is the D .A .T. We're
free to go.

You gotta respect those who defend the
Constitution.

All hail the Nixon administration.

Good to attach.

Did you see that? Is it a rat?

The rats are big in this house, sir.

But they're harmless, mostly.

I cleaned out that cell.

Smelled a vomit.

He was right. It did stink to high
heaven.

Well, I'm sure the next prisoner will
appreciate your efforts.

It's all love and light here at the...

will be performing a special concert in
Lake Tahoe at Tahoe Sahara in memory of

his mother, Gladys Bresley.

Whoa! You must be 2B.

I'm Windy. Windy?

That's an unusual name. My father named
me Windy because he was a sailor and

Wind was his gold.

I'm Sam.

What? Hey.

Wow, your fate line is bisected.

Is that a good thing? It can be. It's
like a record skipping.

You're listening to one song, then you
don't get bumped and you're grooving to

whole new tune.

It's up there. Well, um, for starters,
no naked women.

Are you new to New York? You could say
that. It's an adjustment.

I get homesick all the time. For
Decorah, Iowa, a lot of people, a lot of

back there.

I know the feeling. I used to spend
hours just floating in an inner tube

up at the clouds.

You and me, we stay in one place, but
the clouds go everywhere.

So sometimes I'd ask them to carry a
message back to Decorah for me.

I imagine there's someone floating in a
lake looking up at the same cloud,

sending me their love, too.

Hey, do you like to dance? Because I
love to dance.

Not really. Oh, great. Well, then we'll
have to dance.

Okay. I'll see you around, 2B.

246 to Central K. We are approaching
Trent's apartment.

We're at Christian Wright.

246 to Central K.

We're outside Kim Trent's apartment.
Detectives Carling and Skelton are not

here. Please raise car 135 and advise of
their location, okay?

10 -424 -6.

So, is this how you do things in Hyde?

You sit on your ass and watch known
criminals pick their noses.

Actually, in Hyde, we sit on our noses
and watch known criminals pick their

asses.

Let's go.

Don't think it's right, actually.

Hey, police!

Take cover!

Enough.

I hit him. Good. You okay?

Yeah, I think so.

She's going to be okay.

How's the normal?

All right.

Excuse me. All right, let's get her.
Ready?

I'm going to be okay. All

right.

All right, go ahead.

Where were you guys?

Luke, we got a radio message to call
into command.

Now, I figured it was you shutting down
Tyler's brilliant surveillance scheme.

Took us three blocks south to find a
payphone.

Found this radio in June's car. She must
have heard the call go out and wanted

to be Batgirl or something.

June always had dreams of doing
something important at the department.

I told her you were a twirl, know your
place, so she did.

All right.

I'm going to canvas the block, get some
statements. Somebody must have had

eyeballs on this.

This doesn't make any sense.

Trent took a huge risk. He knew we'd be
on to him.

Has to be a reason.

I want this mess cleaned up.

And I want you to clear this away.

I don't want any of her left lying on
the street.

This is an act of crime, Dean. It still
needs to be processed.

Clean it up!

I want you to clean it up now. She works
at the precinct.

She is family.

And I want to be able to look her dead
in the eye and say you cleaned up every

drop of her precious blood.

Get off me.

You can't blame me, you lunatic.

This is Trent's fault.

He pulled the trigger. You made sure
there was a trigger to pull. We had no

evidence. Tell that to June.

I give up.

I give up.

I'm sick of this cosmic joke that
everyone seems to be in on but me.

Sick of it.

You know, this neighborhood has gone to
the dog.

Mm -hmm, right.

It's an unusual ashtray.

Yeah, my granddaughter Sophia made it
for me. She loves to come over and see

the butts in there.

She just none of uses it.

Beautiful story.

She'd write a letter to the Surgeon
General.

You know, if I squint, there's a little
bit of that Steve McQueen.

Look, you have an unobstructed view of
AAA money from here, and judging from

much you love your grandchild and your
cigarettes, I'm guessing you spend a lot

of time looking out that window.

Sure, I saw what happened.

But aside from the shooting, there was
nothing different from any Tuesday or

Thursday. You guys showed up escorting
the man who got shot.

Us guys?

Yeah, the police.

Policemen?

In uniform?

Policemen in uniform.

guys real big time, huh, Stevie?

Yes, we did.

Astronauts in orbit to repair ailing
Skylab.

Those hippies think they know how to get
high, Junie. Those people kind of

trouble Dagwood's getting into it.

We're looking for you, boss.

How's she doing?

Sing.

That felt good.

Yeah?

You're gonna love this.

I always liked you.

You'd be told she'd probably make a good
cop.

I only know one way to police.

So do I.

I'm not squeaky clean, and neither is
this city.

I loved it.

It needs whoever can get to look after
it.

That's me.

You're going to make this right.

Well, I found a witness who saw two
uniforms escort Trent

into the store. That's how they gained
access.

Watch what you're saying, Tyler.

How can you, the keeper of Aladdin's
cave, question the existence of dirty

copses because, you know, you don't like
it?

I'm not turning a spotlight on my own
department.

No, you're just going to coerce
testimony and set up suspects.

Just to close the case. Oh, you got
something on your mouth there. Let me,

me. Ah, what are you doing?

Hey, stop. Get off me. Don't do, don't
do that.

Hey.

Police.

Space man.

Heard the boss gave you a ride to Pummel
City.

Need to talk with you, Ray.

How's your moonlighting?

Talk to me.

Ain't like I'm the only one moonlighting
at the 125.

Your name turned up on a list of cops
who work security for triple -A money.

Yeah.

I make 300 and change a week as a third
-grade detective. That's barely enough

to afford the clams of Reganod every
Friday night at Guido's.

So I work on security when my money clip
runs a little light. What's a calamity?

Trent was working with cops.

Cops were moonlighting his security.

You have first -hand knowledge.

You took a powder on the stakeout,
right?

So I'm coming to you.

You coming to me because you think I
might be complicit?

It's the first I'm hearing about cops
being involved.

Well, Hunt isn't with me on this, but I
got an eyewitness that says so.

Should talk to Crocker.

The ADA? If Hunt's Stonewall, then
you're gonna need a friend on the

Why are you doing this for me?

Going around Hunt?

Hunt was my hook to second grade.

For three years, I carried his water.

A lot of good that did me when you
showed up.

Crocker's a little too bucking for
sainthood for my liking, but he's a

shooter. I don't know what to do. Give
him a try.

And you think cops from the 125 are
involved?

I don't know.

I just made it hard to get any traction,
so that's why I'm talking to you.

I'll have one of my investigators look
into it. Should take some of the

off.

I appreciate the help, not to mention
your discretion.

Of course.

Heck of a way to introduce yourself to a
new house.

You don't know the half of it.

Maya!

Maya?

Maya?

You in here?

I'll remember that next time you want me
to work a unicorn detail for you.

Who says boo in this day and age? You're
like a cartoon character from the funny

papers. Who says funny papers in this
day and age?

I don't want to live in a world without
video games.

whipped up a tray of welcome to the
second floor lasagna for you.

Well, that's very nice of you. What's
nice is I'm about to introduce you to

most luxurious lasagna you've ever
tasted. Not to toot my own horn, it's my

mom's recipe, but it's guaranteed to
cure what ails you.

That jerk you brought home last night
stole your watch, just have a slice of

mom's lasagna. The war in Vietnam got
you down, just taste that smooth ricotta

cheese.

How are you doing today?

Like some mom's lasagna will hit the
spot. Ray, it's a garden mix.

There's fresh tomatoes, zucchini,
carrots, peas, plenty of herbs.

And I add a healthy sprinkling of Mary
Jane's Magic Earth.

Mary Jane's Magic Earth? No recipe is
complete without it.

There's marijuana in here? It's mellow.
Nothing like the blue to hue I had at my

friend Randy's pig roast.

You know I'm a cop.

Then you must get the really good stuff.

Um, there's something I've been meaning
to ask.

What you said the other day about
sending messages back to loved ones

the clouds.

Yeah.

Well, do the clouds ever respond?

Nope.

It's just a one -way thing. I never hear
from the clouds, but the stars, they

won't shut up.

My mom, my dad, my brother Gregory, my
best friend Lolly, they all send their

love to me through the stars.

Because the stars speak for the lonely
blue hearts, and lonely blue hearts tell

the truth.

I gotta run.

Enjoy the lads.

And don't forget, we still gotta dance.

As they say in New Orleans.

There he is.

We should string him up from the rafters
by a sneaky little rat tail.

What's going on? What's going on?

Look at him play possum now.

Rats? Possums?

What did I tell you about analogies,
Ray?

The loot just got off the phone with
Crocker.

Did you really think you wouldn't get
back to me?

June's awake.

Are you okay?

They're not real.

What are you talking about?

The reason why I can't track down the
cops working with Trent isn't because

Hunt's been stonewalling. It's because
they don't exist.

Sam, you're not making any sense. The
cops from the check -cashing robberies,

they're impersonators.

Impersonators?

They're not real cops.

So the soul bone says you're going to be
right as rain in no time.

Okay? Yeah.

I'm still not clear what happened.

What happened was I took care of the guy
that did this to you.

Shot him dead.

Who?

Kim Trent.

Did you know Kim Trent?

No. But you cleaned his cell of vomit.

Remember?

What were you doing outside AAA Money,
June? What's wrong with you?

June seems emotional.

Of course she's emotional. She was shot.
That's not the kind of emotional I'm

talking about.

Look at her.

I'm dead.

Yeah, he died on the scene.

From a gunshot wound to the chest.

That's why you were there with the
police radio.

You weren't responding to the call.

Because you were already there as the
lookout and the getaway driver.

I just got the radio.

For Kim?

Yes. I mean, no.

Kim loves me.

It took a while, but we found each
other.

We hadn't seen each other since high
school in Yonkers.

And then there he was outside of the
precinct.

And he looked me up. That's the kind of
guy he was.

And you fed him information.

Kim's gone, June. It's time to start
worrying about yourself.

I told Kim things.

Who was working where and when.

Eventually I was able to find some
uniforms and some dupe shields.

No one noticed. No one ever noticed. No
one noticed me except Kim.

And the radio message that called off
Chris and Ray.

That was you.

Yes.

I thought you always wanted to join me
on the Bureau.

I'd be like you, taking with him crap
day after day.

You're fooling yourself if you ever
think they'll accept you as one of them.

Junie, you know who was fooling himself?

what it feels like to be alone it's like
someone's stolen

away the one thing in the world you
cared most about that

happened to me too universe knocked me
sideways

I am lonely blue heart, Jim.

Yeah.

I guess I do have lonely blue heart.

Yeah.

Tim told me things.

He was working with two guys.

Derek Robinson and Freddy Gerard.

You wouldn't see me. June.

June, I'm sorry.

But it wasn't real.

What you think you had with Trent was
not real.

Protecting the same man who put you in
this hospital bed, he's killed four

innocent people. You understand?

It's time to tell us everything.

Because only blue hearts tell the truth.

Police! Don't move!

You are surrounded by armed bastards!

Put your feet on the ground. Put your
hands on your head.

You are under arrest.

Just in time, boys.

No, no, no, no.

I'm on the job.

I'm a cop.

He's not.

I'm real. He's not. Get off me.

Real cops don't run away.

Lieutenant Gene Hunt, 125.

Kindly get off of my man.

Come on.

This is why Trent's crew hits so many
check cashing stores so quick.

They need to cask it through the
shipment on the way.

You ain't got no rights. Get in there.

Terrible.

Yahtzee! Lots of it.

You did good, Tyler.

But next time you start having words
with an ADA, you make damn sure I know

ahead of time.

See you tomorrow, boss.

Once again, you walk into the space I
was headed for.

You and I are not going to get along,
are we?

Nope.

Eventually, I will burn you down, and I
will bag your ashes, and I will bury

your ashes in a yard where my big dog
craps big crap.

I asked you for help.

You made me out to be a rat.

It wasn't like that.

Gene has a way of doing things. I have a
way of dealing with him. It's nothing

personal.

Sam, he's right.

It's complicated dealing with Hunt.

You of all people should know that.

What's that?

Lee got us tickets to see Grease.

You know, it's been playing for a year
and I've been dying to see it.

Summer Lovin' had me a blast.

I got a dinner to get to.

See you later, Annie.

Sam?

You okay, Sam?

Yeah.

Fine.

Sam.

You're a good cop, Sam.

There's less heroin on the street
because you're in the 125.

is very real.

Good night, Annie.

Good night, Sam.

I miss you too, baby.

I miss you too, from the bottom of my
lonely blue heart.

Time to dance, Tooby!

Leaping from my window to the street
below, a freshly fallen silent shroud of

snow. I have a rock.

I have an island.

I have no need for friendship.

Friendship causes pain. It's laughter
and it's nothing I disdain.

I am a rock. I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain.

And an island...