All language subtitles for House.S01E12.720p.AMZN.WEBRip.x264-GalaxyTV

Are you thinking
about taking drugs?

Well, think again,

because drugs
are not the answer.

Take it from me,
Hank Wiggen.

Oh, don't remember
this ugly mug?

Two years ago,
I was a star.

I won nine games

in a row.

But by the end of August,
I was gone.

Cut!

Cut!

Not good, huh?

Well, you caught the ball.

Yeah.

Look, um, I usually
don't give line readings,

but let me--
try this here.

Hollywood ain't
holding its breath.

Yeah, well,
they're doing it wrong.

I mean, for Hank.

Tell the director.

I thought I'd give
the marriage a few months

before I go for
the meddling wife thing.

His arm came back
day after you hooked up.

I say meddle.

You okay?

Just gas.

Go help your man.

Just give me a little room
to work it out.

[pills rattling]

Take it from me,
Hank Wiggen.

Like that?
No.

Hey, sweetheart.

Hey.

Hi, Brian.

You boys having a little trouble
with the big speech?

Yeah, you got
any ideas?

It's your story.
Just be yourself.

Drugs were there,

you took them--simple.

Why'd you get clean?

'Cause I was gonna die.

And come April,
'cause you're clean,

you're starting
opening day

against the Yanks.

Try it her way?

Yeah...okay.

Okay.

Let's start with
the second part first.

That'll get him
in the groove.

Okay.

We'll do the throwing thing
first.

Everybody wants to direct.

Is Warner all right?

Yeah, he's good.

You just bring it,
babe.

Just tell your story.

Roll camera.

Rolling. Sound?

Come on, kid!

Show 'em what you're
gonna give the Yankees!

All right...action!

Ohh! Uhh!

[groaning]

Oh, God!

It'll be okay.

It's gonna be okay.

It's gonna be okay.

[New Age music]

*

He's got osteopenia.

His bones are too thin
to fix the arm properly.

No, price is not a problem
if you have what I need.

Osteo--
Young man?

How did you know?

Well, if he's an old man,

osteopenia would just
be a fact of life.

You make him comfortable,
send him home.

Which means
you're just boring me.

So he's young,

which means it's most likely
caused by cancer.

And you're here
because you haven't found it.

Have you looked
really, really hard?

MRI and PET scan
are both negative.

Well, how old is he?

Maybe osteopenia's
just early onset.

Well, let's see...

Born 9/21/77.

It's Hank Wiggen?

He signed it.
Sweet.
Yeah.

"To Jimmy Wilson,
the Cy Young of medicine."

Did you ask for that?

Just the Jimmy part.

The bone's too thin
to support the kind of surgery

that would let him
pitch again.

But if we figure out
what's causing the osteopenia,

we can reverse
the bone damage,

then do the surgery.

Then beat the Yankees
and save the free world.

It was a working dinner.

My work, company pays.

Uh...I don't know.

I just feel kind of weird

after what it turned into.

Well, then it stopped
being work.

You know, if it'll solve
your ethics problem,

you can reimburse me
for these.

What are they, $5.57,
I believe?

Hmm. You'll let me
know about Friday?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mmm.

[chuckles]

None of the usual
suspects.

Age isn't right,

in apparent perfect health
before this incident,

MRI and PET scan negative
for tumors.

Test him again.
It's gotta be cancer.

Sorry I'm late.

Car broke down
on the Interstate.

Don't believe you.

Chem 7 also shows
a poor kidney function.

Now, why would
a guy in his twenties

have a poor
kidney function?

Cancer--it first
attacks the bones,

and then the kidneys.

Come on, people.

He was 17-7.

His ERA was 2.1.

You want it
to be his kidneys.

Because if it's his kidneys,
maybe we can treat it.

Maybe we can fix it.

And if it's cancer,
then he'll never pitch again.

If this were a regular guy
who broke his arm lifting a box,

you would have
sent him home.

My God, you're right.
I lost my head.

All life is equally sacred.

Now, I promise you,

the next knitting injury
that comes in here,

we're on it
like stink on cheese.

He weighed 175
his rookie year.

Stop.

Now he's 195 after
playing a year in Japan.

He let himself go.
Why?

Steroids.

The guy
was a drug user.

I'm sure he wouldn't
have balked

at pumping up
through chemicals.

They'd explain
the weight gain.

And the kidney problems.

And the bone loss.

Go ask him what he's on.

When he says "nothing,"
have him pee in a cup.

If your car breaks down,

you're an hour late,
not two minutes.

Two minutes
isn't late enough

to use a clever excuse
like car trouble.

I was coming in early.

Huh.
Unprompted lies.

That's a bad sign.

Either a guilty conscience

or something personal
is going on.

See, that's all
you had to do--

just walk in,
sit down, do your job.

No.

No, I--
I never took 'em.

We're gonna need
a urine sample.

Oh, no.
You don't trust me.

Baby, I'm worried
about taking this morphine.

You're in pain.
The doses are monitored.

It's not a slip.

Besides, opiates
weren't your thing.

They should have been.

Wha--

Mr. Wiggen.

The urine sample.

I want to say no.

So I am.

No.

Trust is a big issue
in early recovery.

He really did
gain the weight honestly.

If you say so.

You're not getting it.

He thinks I'm an idiot.

He sure does.

[water trickling]

Should we
save the sample?

Dr. Sports Fan
can put it in Lucite

and hang it
around his neck.

Hey, Friday night,

can you cover for me?

I think so.

Oh...Friday.

No, I'm sorry, I have
to go to that oncology thing,

that seminar.

What's going on?

Dinner with
a drug rep.

Castine Pharmaceuticals.

Arnie?

Claims he has
500 lawyer jokes,

only tells one?

Uh, new guy.

You need cash?

[sighs]

No, I don't
have that much on me.

No, no, it's not a problem.

Yeah, I'll be over by 6:00.

Okay.

5:00 PM,
Dr. House checks out.

It's 4:45.

I was rounding up.

Carol Moffatt.

Please see Dr. House
in Exam One.

Whoa, whoa.
Not so fast, Cathy.

It's Carol.

Uh, uh,
trouble with the leg?

When's the wedding?

This Saturday.

Ooh, not much time
to fit into that pretty dress.

And no time
for practical shoe shopping.

You're running
two miles a day

further
than you should be.

It hurts right here.

New shoes,
less miles,

and ixnay
on the afternoon Cokes.

You're gonna
look beautiful.

What's wrong with you?

I can't get
my contact lenses out.

Out of what?
They're not in your eyes.

But they're red.

That's because you're trying
to remove your corneas.

What's wrong
with you?

Lately, my wife
has noticed that--

Yeah, yeah.
Symptoms.

Working on
a personal best here.

Numbness in my feet
and hands,

uh, constipation--

And?
Maybe he doesn't
feel comfortable

talking about
his private matters--

Neither would I
if I was having trouble

controlling my pee pee.

You're a dentist.

Nitrous Oxide poisoning.

Which means
you're either

dipping into
your own supply

or you got a bad valve
in the office.

Laughing gas rehab's

probably more expensive
than the plumber.

Meanwhile,
get yourself some B12.

Who's left?

I can't see.

Nah, I'm just
screwing with you.

It's a hangover.

My English lit prof
told me he'd fail me next time

if I didn't show up
with a doctor's note.

Well, make friends
with the dentist.

He can give you a note,
and maybe a little nitrous

to take the edge off.

Dr. House!

He tested negative
for steroids.

Elevated Beta 2
proteins, though.

Could be cancerous.

Amyloidosis
or lymphoma.

Or steroids.
You guys got any money on you?

He tested negative
for steroids.

Um...I have
a couple 20s on me.

50 of them?

Foreman?

The FAT PAD biopsy
and abdominal CT scan

were negative
for the cancers, but--

Well, that just
leaves us with steroids.

He tested negative
for steroids.

Less money is made
by biochemists

working on a cure
for cancer

than by their colleagues
struggling valiantly

to find ways
to hide steroid use.

But there is one thing
they can't hide.

Hi.

I'm Dr. House.

This is the coolest
day of my life.

See? Steroid use
shrinks the testicles.

I'm clean, man--
no steroids, no nothin'.

Your lips say no,
your prunes say yes.

Hypogonadism.

Isn't that a great word?

Thanks--we don't get
to say it nearly enough.

Start him on Lupron
right away.

These freaks are willing
to defile themselves

for mass entertainment,
for money.

I feel sorry for them.

He drops a clean urine,

denies using steroids,

and you're giving him
a drug for what,

steroid abuse?

No, no, it's not.

No, it's got
calcium in it.

It's very good
for the bones.

Basically,
at a molecular level,

it's--it's just milk.

[sighs]

How long do you figure
before I get a call from Cuddy?

Youput him
on Lupron?

Uh-huh.

And you told them
it was like milk.

Yes.

Is there any way
in which that is not a lie?

It's creamy.

But I had three reasons.

Good ones?

Well, we'll see
in a minute.

I'm just making them up now.

He lied to me first.

Your mother did teach you
two wrongs don't make a right?

If he lies to me
about not taking steroids,

and I lie to him about not
treating steroids, he's cured.

Adds up for me.
Second reason.

If I'd told him the truth,

he wouldn't have
taken the stuff.

And if he told you
the truth,

what would the "stuff"
do to him?

Severe respiratory problems.

Third reason.

I wanted to eliminate
the placebo effect.

Excellent.

You and your lawyer
can write a paper.

Which brings me
to my fourth reason.

I thought you said
there were only three.

I thought you'd
buy one of them.

Seriously?

He's not gonna sue.

Because his lawyer
is a nice guy

who realizes it's unfair
to blame us

for ruining this kid's
$100 million career.

Good guess, but no.

If the Lupron causes
respiratory problems,

it means he's not
on steroids.

Which means there's
something else wrong with him.

And the choices

for that something else

are almost universally
very bad.

[wheezing]

(House)
Osteopenia
messing his bones up.

Hypogonadism.

Impaired liver function,
kidney function,

and we have
managed to find

the only professional athlete
in the galaxy

who is not on steroids.

And it's not cancer.

So what's killing him?

Who shares my suspicions

that the Yankees
were somehow involved?

Shrunken testicles
indicate his body's

not putting out
enough testosterone.

(House)
Throw out the lungs.
That was the Lupron.

My fault.

Don't worry, I'll send him
a nice note.

What about something
environmental?

Arsenic, mercury?
The symptoms could indicate--

Pretty small environment.

Wife's fine,
no one else is sick.

If you throw out
the kidneys,

everything else
adds up.

The testicles,
the bones,

the impaired
liver function.

Could all be caused
by a breakdown

of his adrenal glands.

Addison's disease.

I like it.

Mainly, of course,
because the treatment is...

Steroids.

Enough irony
for all of us.

Treatment will cause him
to retain fluid.

With the kidneys almost
shut down already, he'll die.

So, we'll get him
a new kidney.

Your theory is that

Addison's is causing
all the symptoms

except for
the kidney problems?

What's causing
the kidney problems?

Cameron, if you had
to make an ironic guess,

right about now...

[together]
He tested negative
for steroids.

Agreed...he's not
on steroids now.

But if he was on them

at any time
in the last five years,

it could have
caused the kidney damage.

You see,

kidneys don't wear watches.

Sure, gallbladders do,

but it doesn't matter,

'cause kidneys
can't tell time.

Steroid damage

could take years.

No steroids.

How many times
does he have to tell you?

I don't know.

How many times
did he lie about cocaine

before coming clean
with the league?
That's completely different.

Oh, that's right.
I remember.

You never did come clean.

The league was out to get you.
They faked the blood tests.

You had to get yourself
a lawyer and everything.

If Hank says
he never used steroids,

that's the truth.

That's too bad.

Because our theory
is that the kidney damage

is caused by "A"

and everything else
is caused by "B."

The beauty of this theory

is that we can treat
"A" and "B."

But if you add
the kidney symptoms

back into the mix,

then we are looking
at another letter altogether.

One that is apparently
not in the alphabet.

We can't fix the bones,
no more baseball,

no more breathing,

no more brain function.

Get another explanation.

Okay, yeah.

I think I got one
in my other pants.

Hold on.

Five years ago,
Bangor, Maine.

My pitching coach
had me on something.

I never knew what it was.

And you never tried
too hard to find out either.

I gained 12 pounds of muscle
in, like, four weeks.

I'm sorry, babe.

Huh?

How you doing, doc?

Good.
Very good.

You want me to put Hank Wiggen
on the transplant list?

He needs a new kidney.

I was thinking
the kidney people

might have some.

Well, they like
to save them

for people who have--
how do I put this--

kidney problems.

He's a professional
ball player.

Brings joy to millions.

Do you really want
to be known

as the hospital
that sent him home to die?

That's a great idea.

We could be the hospital
that killed two people:

the guy who
deserved the kidney

and the ballplayer
we bumped up the list

when we weren't even sure
what was wrong with him.

Everything else
is relating to the Addison's.

The test for Addison's
was inconclusive.

The test for Addison's
is always inconclusive.

Why do we do it at all?

We should just ask you.

You're not
putting him on the list.

Your powers of deduction
are breathtaking.

You take
a perverse pleasure

in turning me down.

What I live for.

Once in a while, though,
try to ruin my day.

Ask me something
I can say yes to.

[heart monitor beeping]

Oh, I'm sorry, doctor.
I didn't know you were busy.

Want me to come back?
Is he on the list?

No.

Then I'm giving him
one of mine.

Okay.

You're not gonna tell me
it's a bad idea?

Why give a kidney
to someone who might not

be able to use it?

Not my area.

That is, however, my chair.

When do we do it?

Very noble gesture.

My favorite kind.

Dramatic,
yet completely empty.

The chances of non-identical
twins being--

You live alone?

You writing a book?

I made it a question,
just 'cause it's more polite.

You got a big "keep out" sign
stapled on your forehead.

That explains it.

I told them
to put it on my door.

Even if real,
human contact

is something you don't have,

or even want or need,

you should at least be able
to see it in other people.

Yeah, right.

True love.

That's just how we
match organs these days.

There's a couple in France,
high school sweethearts.

They're trading brains.

We're a match.

Run your tests.

[buzzing]

Hey.
The lab call?

Is she a match?

Haven't heard yet.

You got a text message,
though.

Friday night.
Very cryptic.

Gee, thanks for checking.

Can you cover for me?

Oncology seminar.

Friday night, the same thing
as the car trouble?

I had car trouble.

House says you were lying.
I believe him.

[scoffs]

What's that?

You got a little wet smudge
at the end of your nose.

Hey, I like the guy.

He says what he wants,
does what he wants.

He won't talk to anyone
unless he can jerk them around.

Or needs a thousand bucks.
What was with that?

I scored.

It's a brave new world, doc.

And we are
at the cutting edge.

You are looking
at two all-access passes

to paradise itself.

How much?

True cost, no man can say.

Could that man's
accountant say?

$1,000.

Whew.

Friday night,
the biggest

official
monster truck jam

in the history
of New Jersey.

Okay, please tell me

you didn't just say
Friday night.

Whatever you've got,
you cancel.

I--I can't do it.

Listen, they only
give these tickets to owners.

Any time we want to be
in the middle of the track,

we're in the middle
of the track.

These tickets
are so good,

we have
to sign a release.

I mean it.
We do this, we could die.

I've got
the oncology thing.

I-I--

The rectal cancer lecture.
They booked me a year ago.

I-I-I can't get out.

There's no way out.

Fine.

I'll ask one
of my other friends.

Huh.

What, you're saying
I've only got one friend?

Uh...

and who...

Kevin in bookkeeping.

Okay, well, first of all,
his name's Carl.

I call him Kevin.

It's his secret
friendship club name.

It's hookers.

Oh, my God.

Multiple hookers.
House is House, right?

He's gotta
have it his way.

Four or five women,
maybe.

This isn't even funny.

You don't think
he has sex?

No, of course he--

No, he doesn't have sex.
He makes love.

[laughs]
I didn't say that.

[buzz]

It's the lab.

Dr. Foreman?

If you have
the results,

I'd like you to talk
to both of us.

If you don't,
I'm late for a meeting.

Believe me, I'd much rather
be with your better half.

And by better half,
of course, I mean the one

who struck out Sammy Sosa
on three pitches

and talks a lot less.

But I thought I would
talk to you first,

and alone.

I've got your results
back from the lab.

You do match.

I-I do?

You're also pregnant.

You can't be a donor.

Not in your
current condition.

[sniffles]

Um...

Excuse me.

I have to go
talk to my husband.

Heart looks good.

You can schedule
the transplant.

No transplant.

Lola's not gonna
have an abortion.

Actually, your wife
just told me

that she was
making an appointment.

I don't care
what she said.

Uh, I think you two
need to discuss this further.

We've been trying to get
pregnant almost since we met.

Well, it's
your wife's decision--

She wants to trade
a child for a kidney.

That's murder.

I'm not gonna
let her do that.

Foreman says
we've got a problem

about the transplant.

If she terminates
the pregnancy,

he's not gonna let himself
die on principle.

Would you give up a baby
for someone you love?

Please tell me
I don't have to decide.

It depends.
How long would they live?

This is a pragmatic
question for you?

Fifty years, no problem.

Six months,
I'd say let him die.

I've actually given this
a lot of thought.

My personal tipping point
is seven years,

eight months,
and 14 days.

I couldn't do it.

You found religion.

Do you have to be religious
to believe a fetus is alive?

There seems to be
a correlation.

I'm, uh...

Do you like
monster trucks?

I don't know
what they are.

Right.

I got two tickets.

Friday night.

You asking me
to go with you?

Sure.

Sounds good?

Like a...date?

Exactly.

Except for the date part.

Forget it.

Uh, no.

I was gonna go
to the oncology dinner.

Of course.

You have to hear
Wilson's lecture.

No.

I just found out he canceled,
like, two weeks ago.

So...

what do I wear?

[heart monitor beeping]

Still with us, Hank?

Yeah, I'm here.

My chest feels funny.

Tachycardia.

Your heart's
beating too fast.

We're sorting it out,
but you stay with us.

All right?

Keep talking to us,
Hank.
Where's Lola?

10 units of insulin
sub Q,

and IV push D-50.

Why is his potassium up?

Damned if I know.
Kayexolate, too.

We gotta suck
that potassium out of him.

We gotta get
his heart rate down.

(nurse)
We need a crash cart.

It's definitely not
Addison's.

Not steroids either.

His heart rate
is 130 and rising

like a Randy Johnson
line drive.

"A" for effort.

There's no point
in doing the transplant.

Even if he was
stable enough,

it's obvious that we have
no idea what's wrong with him.

(Chase)
First it's too high,
now it's too low?

His heart's not responding
to the atropine.

Heart rate's
down to 40.

I thought it was up.

Now it's down.

Last time
he went out at 35.

What's wrong?

I have no idea.

Hit him
with the atropine

before he gets to 35 again.

(Foreman)
We've already given him
three milliliters.

(House)
Apparently
that's not enough.

(Chase)
We can't stabilize
his heart rate.

(House)
What did you
do to him?

Kayexolate.

His pulse
was through the roof.

So was
his potassium.

That wouldn't do this.

Something did.

Call me when he's stable.

Or dead.

I remember
the first time.

You weren't even supposed
to be pitching that day.

I'd flown all the way
to Tokyo to watch this kid,

and he gets tossed

for arguing a call
in the first inning.

[chuckles]

Now your pitch is...
perfect.

Ball seemed to go
faster than your arm.

It was like the rules
didn't apply,

like physics
couldn't slow you down.

Hot damn, it was beautiful.

Hey, Warner.

Hey, kid.

How you feeling?

I hurt.

My arm, my head.

Everywhere.

They must have
dialed down the morphine.

That's just wrong, man.
You're in pain.

Hey.

I got something
for you.

No.

A doc in St. Louis
gave them to me for migraine.

I'm an addict.
I can't take that.

Even Lola was okay
with the morphine.

This stuff's just
a little stronger.

Come on.

I'll just
try one, Warner.

Three more symptoms.

Heart rate up,

heart rate down.

Now, he's hallucinating.

You have to promise
not to tell Lola.

Okay, coach?

He's not just dreaming?

No REM.

He's actually awake.

Drugs?

Not psychedelics.

Not with
the heart symptoms.

Well, hallucinations
would point to digitalis.

It would also
mess up his heart.

But he's not on it.

And why would he
take it?

Yeah.

Pithy analysis.

I can see why they asked you
to speak at the cancer dinner.

Sorry I'm gonna miss it.

I'm sorry about
the monster trucks.

No, I think it's great
you're giving back.

Only thing is...

uh, digitalis...

It would only explain
the later symptoms.

Not the original ones.

Sure...it's got
a lot of movement.

Problem is,
everybody sees the movement.

You're throwing
your curveball

like you're
throwing a curveball.

Deception, that's the--

Same motion,
less movement,

but it won't
come back at you.

How'd you get in here?

Spoke Spanish.

Told him I was the new
shortstop from the Dominican.

How's Hank doing?

Lousy.

Around your fingernails,
that swelling.

It's called clubbing.

Hippocrates noticed
that a lot of his friends

who also had that
tended to frequently

grab their chests
and die.

Yeah, I got
a heart condition.

What's wrong with Hank?

What do you take for it?

Digitalis.

Got 'em with you?

That's weird.

I just filled this prescription
a couple days ago.

There's another bottle here.

Don't bother.

Hank Wiggen
stole your pills.

He tried to kill himself.

So what happened?

He left the bottle open
while he went to get some water.

Next time,
just take the whole bottle.

Hey, man,
you got no right.

See, people remember
how many they've got.

Date's right on the label,
number of pills.

Regular person
can do the math.

And a junkie
doesn't have to.

He knows how many
pills he's got left.

That's all
he's thinking about.

Big insurance policy?

This isn't
about the money.

Not for you, no.

Most reputable stores
won't cash your checks

after you're dead.

But for Lola, well,

girls like that,
they're all about the money.

Don't you say that.

She already saved my life.

I was dead in Japan,
and she brought me back.

Everything since then,
that's gravy.

That's more
than I deserve.

You owe her.

Everything.

Uh-huh.

So the attempted suicide,

the scaring her to death,

that's--what is that?

That's gratitude?
Love?

Yeah, I get that.

Well, take out what you
did to yourself yesterday,

we're back to the kidneys
and the bones.

I'm scheduling
the transplant.

[liquid spilling]
Uhh!

Never visit a patient.

I want that baby.

Even if I'm gone,
that's a piece of me and Lola.

Breathing,
walking around town.

Going to baseball games.

If there's any more
transplant talk from you,

Lola, or anybody else,

I won't screw it up
this time.

I'll take myself out
for good.

I'll start
treating the Addison's.

Which will most likely
destroy

what's left
of your kidneys.

Fine.

Start the treatment.

[elevator bell dings]

Hey.

Wha--

Hank Wiggen peed on me.

What do you think these pants
are worth on Ebay?

I've got some big boy
diapers in my office.

The rep hands them out
like candy.

Is it that bad?

No, not if you like
the smell of urine.

Of course, why should I
trust someone

who lies about what he's doing
Friday night?

Question is, what are you
really doing Friday night?

Or, more to the point,

what could possibly
be better than monster trucks?

Or are we breaking up?

[sighs]

[zipper]

Stacy's coming
into town this weekend.

We're having dinner.

Just...catching up.

I definitely
had pants here.

Wait a second--
is that Stacy the stripper?

I heard she's playing
Atlantic City.

No, Stacy
the constitutional lawyer.

You thought I couldn't
handle this news.

You talk to her a lot?

No.

It's been a long time.

If you don't
want me to see her--

What is this,
eighth grade?

I'm fine.

It's fine if you're upset.

No! It's--

I have no right
to be upset.

You two are friends.

You should see her.

Say hi for me.

So...you're okay?

I'm not the cancer doctor

who's lying
about a cancer dinner.

I'm not the one betraying
all those poor little...

bald-headed dying kids.

I'm gonna
go get some pants.

I stink.

You're treating him
for Addison's

and you don't think
it's gonna work?

He tried to kill himself.

I know.

He's confused.

We can have
another baby.

I can make him
understand that.

I'm having an abortion.

We do the trans--
No.

I can make decisions
about my body.

And he can make
decisions about his.

He doesn't want
your kidney.

So...he'll die?

Probably.

[sobbing]

If you keep
that appointment,

he'll also probably die.

Keep the baby.

Are you just
being polite?

'Cause my pants are...

Oh, they're all wet.

You can't smell that?

You think
she'll abort anyway,

try to force his hand?

No, she's not gonna
risk losing him.

[chuckles]

That's funny?

No, the monster trucks?

House asking you, that's...
that's funny.

I was the first person
he ran into.

He just asked me.

Yeah, like a date.

Exactly.

Except for the date part.

[chuckles]

If the patient decides
to go the dialysis route,

we got some product
you should check out.

Mmm.

Hey, Dr. Foreman.

Courtesy
of the generous Sharon

and the good folks
at Castine Pharmaceuticals.

I was just telling the guys
about the Bermuda conference

in April.

Three days
of sun and scuba,

and one hour
of lecture.

(Chase)
Do we have to go
to the lecture?

So...you're
the new Arnie.

Dr. House.

It's, uh,
good to see you.

Would you get me
a coffee?

Black, no sugar.

Okay, so who is it?

Come on, she's sleeping
with one of you.

[scoffs]

Oh, God,
please tell me it's you.

She buys lunches.
She doesn't--

Don't worry, you're not gay.
You're...adventurous.

You think she's gonna
prostitute herself?

The three of us
are that important to her?

Afraid not, no.

The groupies
sleep with the roadies

in order to get to Mick.

And...you're Mick?

That was the metaphor
I was making, yes.

Why are you here?

Damn, it's you.

It's not Addison's.

New symptom:
inability to smell.

I was just in Hank's room,
and he said it smelled

like the men's room
at Veteran's Stadium.

He was right.

We rejected
environmental causes

because the wife
was healthy.

Well, she's not.

Last six months,
she can't smell a thing.

If you think of them
as one single patient--

you add her symptoms
to his.

Cadmium poisoning.

Explains everything.

Even why they had so much
trouble getting pregnant.

How could they have
gotten exposed

to that much cadmium?

Unless they were eating
steel and batteries

for breakfast.

So where else is cadmium?

Some foods,
polluted groundwater.

We should
check their home.

I think I know
how it happened.

I'm gonna need
another urine sample.

What for?
Sure.

(Hank)
Whatever you want.

Why wouldn't you
give it to me before,

but now it's no problem?

I'm dying, right?

So you've got
nothing to lose this time.

Begs the question,

what were you
worried about last time?

The funny thing is,
when we tested you before,

we were just
looking for steroids.

What should we
look for now, Hank?

Hank.

What's the story?

A little weed
every now and then

when no one was looking?

I don't believe this.

We quit.

You did.
If you'd kept going,

you wouldn't have just
lost your sense of smell.

I quit the hard stuff.

I just needed to relax.

Based on the symptoms,

you're a lot more
than a social user.

(Lola)
So you've been lying to me
all this time?

I'm sorry.

There must have been
cadmium in the soil

where the marijuana
was grown.

Some people get bone loss,

kidney failure.

Some people's
testes shrink.

And some people
lose their sense of smell.

We'll start treatment
right away.

You should be fine
by opening day.

Baseball's
in the summer, right?

It didn't hurt the baby,
did it--the cadmium?

If you've been clean,
the baby should be fine.

Okay.

Please.

I'll stop everything.

I'll--I'll go to meetings
every day.

Lola.

Twice a day.

How's the ballplayer
doing?

Much better.

Too bad about his career.

What do you mean?

Major League Baseball's
collective bargaining agreement

requires medical reports
on all treatment.

Even Hank's history
is not likely

to get much leniency.

Why should they care that he's
being treated for Addison's?

You're not treating him
for Addison's.

My report says I am.

You're lying
on the report?

Well, everybody
does stupid things.

It shouldn't cost them
everything they want in life.

No, it shouldn't,
but it usually does.

On the other hand,
if it means someone

can actually
beat the Yankees...

So what about House?

Is there any way
we can get him down there?

You really wanna...
talk about work?

No.

Not at all.

[engine revving]

That was amazing.

I'm telling you,
Gravedigger never disappoints.

You ever
been married?

Well, now, let's not
ruin a lovely night out

by getting personal.

I lived with someone
for a while.

You gonna finish that?

[mumbles with mouth full]

I'll race you to the car!