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1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:10,636
♪♪
2
00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:12,304
I know it's Christmas,
Mom,
3
00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,389
but I think you have to
stay home with Dad.
4
00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:18,060
He needs you
to take care of him right now.
5
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,269
I'm sad, too.
6
00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,397
Bye, Mom.
7
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,650
[ Cellphone thuds ]
8
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,276
What's with
the happy dance?
9
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,028
Remember how
my dad's foot surgery
10
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,446
was supposed to be healed
by now?
11
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:30,656
It did, but great news.
12
00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:32,658
The bone set wrong,
and they had to rebreak it.
13
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:33,867
How lucky is that?
14
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,202
You're a regular
Clara Barton.
15
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,454
It's not an insult if I don't
know who you're talking about.
16
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,247
True.
17
00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,665
I'm gonna miss my dad,
18
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,750
but with my mother
not being here,
19
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,293
I will finally be able
to make
20
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,968
my Nana's Bavarian Meat Tree
with Taylor.
21
00:00:45,968 --> 00:00:47,469
What are you
signing me up for?
22
00:00:47,469 --> 00:00:49,471
It's this tradition
I always did with her.
23
00:00:49,471 --> 00:00:51,098
It's a mini Christmas tree
24
00:00:51,098 --> 00:00:53,809
made of sausage,
lunch meats, and meatballs.
25
00:00:53,809 --> 00:00:56,311
For Christmas this year,
I want to not do that.
26
00:00:56,311 --> 00:00:58,564
You're gonna love it
so much!
27
00:00:58,564 --> 00:01:00,482
If it's so great,
then why'd you stop doing it?
28
00:01:00,482 --> 00:01:02,526
After Nana died,
my mother banned it.
29
00:01:02,526 --> 00:01:04,778
With your parents not coming
and my parents not coming,
30
00:01:04,778 --> 00:01:06,989
it's just gonna be us.
Mm.
31
00:01:06,989 --> 00:01:09,116
You still haven't talked
to Grandpa? It's been two years.
32
00:01:09,116 --> 00:01:11,577
Well, since he told me he had
a second family in England
33
00:01:11,577 --> 00:01:13,328
and I have a brother
that I've never met ‐‐
34
00:01:13,328 --> 00:01:14,621
also named Greg ‐‐
35
00:01:14,621 --> 00:01:15,998
Are we allowed
to laugh at that yet?
36
00:01:15,998 --> 00:01:17,541
No!
37
00:01:17,541 --> 00:01:19,501
Anyway, I haven't really
been in the mood
38
00:01:19,501 --> 00:01:21,712
to call up my parents
and see what's shakin'.
39
00:01:21,712 --> 00:01:24,006
I'm sorry, Dad.
40
00:01:24,006 --> 00:01:25,632
It's a little weird
that it's Christmas
41
00:01:25,632 --> 00:01:27,427
and there's
no other family coming.
42
00:01:27,427 --> 00:01:28,803
It's kind of depressing,
actually.
43
00:01:28,803 --> 00:01:31,556
All I know is,
less relatives means less gifts.
44
00:01:31,556 --> 00:01:33,975
You mean "fewer" relatives
means "fewer" gifts.
45
00:01:33,975 --> 00:01:36,603
Hey, Dad?
Literally no one cares.
46
00:01:36,603 --> 00:01:38,688
Speaking of gifts,
I got you
47
00:01:38,688 --> 00:01:40,482
the perfect Greg Otto gift
this year.
48
00:01:40,482 --> 00:01:42,358
I put a lot of thought
into it.
49
00:01:42,358 --> 00:01:44,152
I didn't just give you
the Starbucks gift card
50
00:01:44,152 --> 00:01:45,778
that I forgot to give
Anna‐Kat's teacher.
51
00:01:45,778 --> 00:01:46,821
I can't wait.
52
00:01:46,821 --> 00:01:48,198
Maybe this won't be so bad.
53
00:01:48,198 --> 00:01:49,657
Maybe less family
means less drama.
54
00:01:49,657 --> 00:01:52,619
Don't you mean "fewer" family
means "fewer" drama?
55
00:01:52,619 --> 00:01:55,497
Anna‐Kat:
Oliver, no! I made that!
Oliver: Get out of my face!
56
00:01:55,497 --> 00:01:57,624
Oliver,
what did you do?
57
00:01:57,624 --> 00:01:59,834
He broke the chimney
off my gingerbread house.
58
00:01:59,834 --> 00:02:01,336
It's food!
59
00:02:01,336 --> 00:02:03,004
I built that with Dad!
60
00:02:03,004 --> 00:02:04,589
You wrecked
the whole ventilation system.
61
00:02:04,589 --> 00:02:06,007
There's
a vanilla wafer furnace!
62
00:02:06,007 --> 00:02:07,842
Stop ruining
our drama‐free Christmas!
63
00:02:07,842 --> 00:02:09,886
Now, go upstairs
and do something together.
64
00:02:09,886 --> 00:02:12,639
Without fighting,
or Christmas is canceled!
65
00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:14,474
Remember what we said
about making threats
66
00:02:14,474 --> 00:02:15,642
we can't
follow through on?
67
00:02:15,642 --> 00:02:16,684
Who are you to talk?
68
00:02:16,684 --> 00:02:18,061
You potty‐trained
all three of them
69
00:02:18,061 --> 00:02:19,813
by threatening if they
didn't stop using diapers,
70
00:02:19,813 --> 00:02:21,105
Elmo would quit
show business.
71
00:02:21,105 --> 00:02:26,569
♪♪
72
00:02:26,569 --> 00:02:28,404
♪♪
73
00:02:29,489 --> 00:02:30,657
Hey, Mom.
74
00:02:30,657 --> 00:02:33,660
One sec. I'm tracking
Dad's surprise Christmas gift.
75
00:02:33,660 --> 00:02:35,703
It's exactly
what he needs this year.
76
00:02:35,703 --> 00:02:37,705
Don't ask what it is, because
I'm not going to tell you.
77
00:02:37,705 --> 00:02:39,582
I won't, because I have
zero interest.
78
00:02:39,582 --> 00:02:40,708
I'll tell you
if you guess.
79
00:02:40,708 --> 00:02:41,501
Fine.
80
00:02:41,501 --> 00:02:42,669
Uh...surfboard?
81
00:02:42,669 --> 00:02:43,753
That was
a terrible guess.
82
00:02:43,753 --> 00:02:45,338
It was better
when you didn't even care.
83
00:02:45,338 --> 00:02:47,131
Ehh.
84
00:02:47,131 --> 00:02:48,466
This is so much meat!
85
00:02:48,466 --> 00:02:52,095
I know! I'm handing down
the family meat‐tree tradition.
86
00:02:52,095 --> 00:02:54,222
I can't believe
this is what I inherit.
87
00:02:54,222 --> 00:02:56,266
Don't you have
any jewelry?
88
00:02:56,266 --> 00:02:57,725
No, you get a meat tree.
89
00:02:57,725 --> 00:03:00,061
♪♪
90
00:03:00,061 --> 00:03:03,064
I'm sorry I ate your chimney,
so let me make it up to you.
91
00:03:06,067 --> 00:03:09,821
Wait. This is where Mom and Dad
hide all our presents?
92
00:03:09,821 --> 00:03:12,657
In their closet?
Not smart.
93
00:03:12,657 --> 00:03:15,910
Nope. We are fighting
an uphill battle genetically.
94
00:03:17,662 --> 00:03:19,664
Mine.
95
00:03:19,664 --> 00:03:20,790
Taylor's.
96
00:03:20,790 --> 00:03:21,749
Yours.
97
00:03:24,210 --> 00:03:27,088
Feels like another
junior‐executive pencil set.
98
00:03:27,088 --> 00:03:28,548
What part of
"I'll just take the cash"
99
00:03:28,548 --> 00:03:30,091
do they not understand?
100
00:03:31,884 --> 00:03:33,928
Oh, this unwrapped one
has no card.
101
00:03:33,928 --> 00:03:35,638
It's probably for me.
102
00:03:35,638 --> 00:03:36,931
Says who?
103
00:03:36,931 --> 00:03:37,849
I do!
104
00:03:37,849 --> 00:03:38,850
[ Clank ]
105
00:03:38,850 --> 00:03:40,476
[ Gasps ]
106
00:03:40,476 --> 00:03:42,937
Oh, no! We broke
Mom's serving platter.
107
00:03:42,937 --> 00:03:44,772
Mom uses it
every Christmas.
108
00:03:44,772 --> 00:03:45,982
We're so dead.
109
00:03:45,982 --> 00:03:48,109
No one has to know.
I can fix this.
110
00:03:48,109 --> 00:03:49,944
How?
It's completely broken.
111
00:03:49,944 --> 00:03:52,155
Do you know how many things
I've broken in this house
112
00:03:52,155 --> 00:03:54,324
and glued back together
with no one noticing?
113
00:03:54,324 --> 00:04:01,914
♪♪
114
00:04:01,914 --> 00:04:03,916
I can fix this thing.
No problem.
115
00:04:03,916 --> 00:04:06,294
I don't think I could handle
seeing the disappointed look
116
00:04:06,294 --> 00:04:08,504
on Mom's face
if she found out we broke it.
117
00:04:08,504 --> 00:04:09,547
That would kill me.
118
00:04:09,547 --> 00:04:11,341
That's the beauty ‐‐
there's no guilt.
119
00:04:11,341 --> 00:04:13,384
Because I do such a great job
at fixing things,
120
00:04:13,384 --> 00:04:15,011
there are never
any consequences.
121
00:04:15,011 --> 00:04:17,847
Have you ever broken anything
of mine and not told me?
122
00:04:17,847 --> 00:04:18,640
Never.
123
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:24,103
♪♪
124
00:04:25,396 --> 00:04:26,648
I don't believe you.
125
00:04:26,648 --> 00:04:28,149
Clever girl.
126
00:04:28,149 --> 00:04:31,152
♪♪
127
00:04:31,152 --> 00:04:33,196
Ugh.
This is so nasty.
128
00:04:33,196 --> 00:04:34,906
I can't get the meat rolls
to stick.
129
00:04:34,906 --> 00:04:37,533
I know. My grandmother
made it look easy.
130
00:04:37,533 --> 00:04:39,077
But we're making memories.
131
00:04:39,077 --> 00:04:40,078
Not good ones.
132
00:04:40,078 --> 00:04:41,204
[ Doorbell rings ]
133
00:04:41,204 --> 00:04:42,830
Nobody get the door
except Dad!
134
00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:45,041
Greg!
Your present's here!
135
00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:48,544
Maybe it's Amazon
with the "Big Book of
Shakespearean Insults"
136
00:04:48,544 --> 00:04:49,545
I asked for.
137
00:04:49,545 --> 00:04:51,048
"Methink'st thou art
a general offense
138
00:04:51,048 --> 00:04:52,758
and every man
should beat thee"!
139
00:04:52,758 --> 00:04:54,384
[ Chuckles ]
140
00:04:54,384 --> 00:04:55,344
Okay.
141
00:04:58,180 --> 00:04:59,765
[ British accent ] Hello.
Are you Greg Otto?
142
00:04:59,765 --> 00:05:00,933
Yeah.
143
00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:02,434
I'm Greg Otto, too.
144
00:05:02,434 --> 00:05:03,435
What's that, now?
145
00:05:03,435 --> 00:05:06,146
Greg, this is Greg,
146
00:05:06,146 --> 00:05:08,607
your half‐brother
from your father's secret family
147
00:05:08,607 --> 00:05:10,150
all the way from England.
148
00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:13,779
I told you I got you
the perfect Greg Otto gift!
149
00:05:13,779 --> 00:05:15,447
You're my half‐brother.
150
00:05:15,447 --> 00:05:17,157
But I'm going to give you
a full hug.
151
00:05:17,157 --> 00:05:18,700
[ Sleigh bells jingle ]
152
00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:20,702
[ Whispering ] I said
I wanted the Shakespeare book.
153
00:05:20,702 --> 00:05:21,703
Shakespeare!
154
00:05:21,703 --> 00:05:22,746
♪♪
155
00:05:22,746 --> 00:05:23,664
Brother!
156
00:05:27,542 --> 00:05:31,380
So, I bet you're wondering
how all of this happened, Greg.
157
00:05:31,380 --> 00:05:33,840
No, it's pretty clear
how this happened.
158
00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:35,842
I met a cute girl
when I was a TA,
159
00:05:35,842 --> 00:05:37,094
and now I'm here.
160
00:05:37,094 --> 00:05:40,097
A few weeks back,
I found out from Father
161
00:05:40,097 --> 00:05:42,891
that I have a long‐lost brother
in the Colonies.
162
00:05:42,891 --> 00:05:44,559
That means America.
163
00:05:44,559 --> 00:05:45,894
Everyone knows that.
164
00:05:45,894 --> 00:05:47,312
Well, that's
where you're wrong, Oliver,
165
00:05:47,312 --> 00:05:48,355
because I don't know that.
166
00:05:48,355 --> 00:05:50,148
Look at you,
making me feel stupid.
167
00:05:51,233 --> 00:05:53,235
Well, as luck would have it,
when I tracked you down,
168
00:05:53,235 --> 00:05:55,529
your lovely wife
happened to answer the phone.
169
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:56,989
That was lucky.
170
00:05:56,989 --> 00:05:58,407
I'm a lucky guy.
171
00:05:58,407 --> 00:06:01,618
While we spoke, I mentioned
I was coming to lecture at Yale.
172
00:06:01,618 --> 00:06:03,245
And I said,
"Let's keep this a secret
173
00:06:03,245 --> 00:06:06,331
and have you come over as
a surprise gift for Christmas."
174
00:06:06,331 --> 00:06:08,625
British Gregs are flying
off the shelves this year.
175
00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:10,377
[ Laughter ]
176
00:06:10,377 --> 00:06:11,670
[ Forced chuckle ]
177
00:06:11,670 --> 00:06:13,797
It's so cool
we have a British uncle.
178
00:06:13,797 --> 00:06:15,674
Here.
What's this called?
179
00:06:15,674 --> 00:06:16,925
A biscuit.
180
00:06:16,925 --> 00:06:19,219
Aw, man, that is not
what we call it here at all.
181
00:06:19,219 --> 00:06:20,345
[ Chuckles ]
182
00:06:20,345 --> 00:06:22,305
Chiseled face,
charming accent.
183
00:06:22,305 --> 00:06:23,974
Would it be okay
if I called you "Dad"?
184
00:06:23,974 --> 00:06:24,933
Oliver!
185
00:06:24,933 --> 00:06:26,601
Shh, Greg.
I'm talking to my dad.
186
00:06:26,601 --> 00:06:28,520
So, uh...
187
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,565
how did it come up with Father
that you have a brother?
188
00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:33,108
He told me
while he was in London
189
00:06:33,108 --> 00:06:35,193
for the Charles Dickens
Holiday Festival.
190
00:06:35,193 --> 00:06:37,237
We've gone together every year
since I was a boy.
191
00:06:37,237 --> 00:06:38,405
How nice.
192
00:06:38,405 --> 00:06:40,449
The only place he ever took me
was the travel agent
193
00:06:40,449 --> 00:06:42,200
so that he could buy
his plane tickets ‐‐
194
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,119
[ Gasps ]
195
00:06:44,119 --> 00:06:45,787
...to England.
196
00:06:45,787 --> 00:06:46,913
Ah.
197
00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:50,542
Interesting tidbit ‐‐
198
00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:52,794
not only are you
both professors,
199
00:06:52,794 --> 00:06:54,921
but you're both authors,
too.
200
00:06:54,921 --> 00:06:58,258
That's right. Greg, I
read your John Stuart Mill
book on the plane.
201
00:06:58,258 --> 00:06:59,426
I absolutely loved it.
202
00:06:59,426 --> 00:07:00,552
Thank you.
203
00:07:04,765 --> 00:07:07,559
[ Whispering ] You need to say
something to him right now.
204
00:07:07,559 --> 00:07:09,311
Talk to him.
Say something!
205
00:07:11,271 --> 00:07:12,814
What's your book about?
206
00:07:12,814 --> 00:07:14,107
Books, technically.
207
00:07:14,107 --> 00:07:16,693
It's a series of novels
about the Norman Conquest.
208
00:07:17,819 --> 00:07:18,987
A series? Wow.
209
00:07:18,987 --> 00:07:21,782
I mean, don't feel obligated
to read it.
210
00:07:21,782 --> 00:07:22,908
It's a lot.
211
00:07:22,908 --> 00:07:24,743
Uh, just wait for it
to come out in theaters.
212
00:07:24,743 --> 00:07:26,119
Unless you don't like
George Clooney.
213
00:07:26,119 --> 00:07:27,412
Then just skip it.
214
00:07:27,412 --> 00:07:28,705
Dad, this is crazy.
215
00:07:28,705 --> 00:07:30,248
Uncle Greg
is exactly like you,
216
00:07:30,248 --> 00:07:31,833
only the way‐better
version.
217
00:07:31,833 --> 00:07:34,127
What an astute
observation, son.
218
00:07:34,127 --> 00:07:35,295
No, seriously.
219
00:07:35,295 --> 00:07:36,630
He's Restoration Hardware,
220
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,799
and you're whatever
discount brand this couch is.
221
00:07:39,841 --> 00:07:42,844
Katie, could you help me change
the toner on the printer?
222
00:07:42,844 --> 00:07:44,012
Why don't you ask
Oliver ‐‐
223
00:07:44,012 --> 00:07:45,639
It needs to be you,
and it needs to be now.
224
00:07:49,267 --> 00:07:50,644
Is...?
225
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:53,522
So, if you're looking for
the bathroom, what do you say?
226
00:07:53,522 --> 00:07:54,773
"Which way to the loo?"
227
00:07:54,773 --> 00:07:55,982
Amazing.
228
00:07:55,982 --> 00:07:57,734
Clear your Monday.
I'm taking you to show‐and‐tell.
229
00:07:57,734 --> 00:07:58,735
Ah, okay.
230
00:08:00,779 --> 00:08:02,989
Just wondering out loud,
but what made you think
231
00:08:02,989 --> 00:08:04,783
for the holidays,
I would want a visit
232
00:08:04,783 --> 00:08:06,701
from my father's
illegitimate love child?
233
00:08:06,701 --> 00:08:08,119
Well, I asked
Doris and Angela,
234
00:08:08,119 --> 00:08:09,913
and they said
I definitely should.
235
00:08:09,913 --> 00:08:12,457
Definitely don't do that.
That is the worst idea
I've ever heard.
236
00:08:12,457 --> 00:08:14,960
Mm...you know what?
I'm gonna do it.
237
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,419
I just thought
it would be nice for you
238
00:08:16,419 --> 00:08:17,629
to have more family
in your life
239
00:08:17,629 --> 00:08:19,172
since you stopped talking
to your parents.
240
00:08:19,172 --> 00:08:20,632
I don't need more family
in my life,
241
00:08:20,632 --> 00:08:22,592
and I don't need you
meddling in my business.
242
00:08:22,592 --> 00:08:24,928
That's a wife's job.
I'm mucking around in your pond.
243
00:08:24,928 --> 00:08:27,389
What?
Your pond.
Your emotional pond.
244
00:08:27,389 --> 00:08:30,600
What does that mean?
On the surface, a pond
is still and tranquil.
245
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:31,768
You got to get down
to the bottom
246
00:08:31,768 --> 00:08:33,103
and bring
all the bad stuff up.
247
00:08:33,103 --> 00:08:34,229
Why would you
want to do that?!
248
00:08:34,229 --> 00:08:35,605
To heal?
I don't know.
249
00:08:35,605 --> 00:08:37,858
I don't write the Lifetime
movies, Greg. I just watch them.
250
00:08:37,858 --> 00:08:41,528
Now, listen ‐‐ I love you,
and I'm trying to help you.
251
00:08:41,528 --> 00:08:43,947
So go out there
and appreciate it.
252
00:08:43,947 --> 00:08:45,115
Fine.
253
00:08:47,284 --> 00:08:48,410
But for the record,
254
00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:50,453
are we really sure
he is who he says he is?
255
00:08:50,453 --> 00:08:51,621
He could be grifting us.
256
00:08:51,621 --> 00:08:52,873
I'll be sure to lock up
257
00:08:52,873 --> 00:08:54,624
our collection
of ketchup packets.
258
00:08:59,629 --> 00:09:02,257
Look! Uncle Greg figured out how
to make the meat rolls stick.
259
00:09:02,257 --> 00:09:03,842
I spent a little time
in Bavaria.
260
00:09:03,842 --> 00:09:05,677
I know my way
around a meat tree.
261
00:09:05,677 --> 00:09:06,803
What were you
doing there?
262
00:09:06,803 --> 00:09:09,055
I guess just being handsome
and younger than me.
263
00:09:10,682 --> 00:09:19,107
♪♪
264
00:09:19,107 --> 00:09:27,616
♪♪
265
00:09:27,616 --> 00:09:29,284
Looks good.
266
00:09:29,284 --> 00:09:30,285
Fan me.
267
00:09:30,285 --> 00:09:32,454
♪♪
268
00:09:32,454 --> 00:09:34,289
[ Click, whirring ]
269
00:09:34,289 --> 00:09:35,373
What do we do now?
270
00:09:35,373 --> 00:09:36,958
We'll wait for it to dry.
271
00:09:36,958 --> 00:09:39,461
In the meantime, we'll go
downstairs and act natural.
272
00:09:39,461 --> 00:09:41,213
I don't like
lying to Mom.
273
00:09:41,213 --> 00:09:43,131
It's not a lie.
It's a cover‐up.
274
00:09:43,131 --> 00:09:45,091
Like how the moon landing
was filmed on a soundstage
275
00:09:45,091 --> 00:09:46,259
in Arizona?
276
00:09:47,469 --> 00:09:49,095
The Internet
is not good for you.
277
00:09:49,095 --> 00:09:50,847
Katie: I'm just grabbing
Nana's platter.
278
00:09:50,847 --> 00:09:52,933
[ Click, whirring stops ]
Then I'm coming right back
to meat tree it up!
279
00:09:52,933 --> 00:09:55,143
She's coming up for the platter.
We're so busted!
280
00:09:56,186 --> 00:09:57,479
Relax.
281
00:09:57,479 --> 00:09:59,272
We'll do that thing
where we fight in front of her
282
00:09:59,272 --> 00:10:00,565
and she gets annoyed
and then forgets
283
00:10:00,565 --> 00:10:03,401
what she was gonna do
in the first place.
284
00:10:03,401 --> 00:10:04,903
[ Drawer opens ]
285
00:10:07,697 --> 00:10:09,157
Follow me.
286
00:10:12,410 --> 00:10:14,537
Mom, Oliver ate
all the M&M's
287
00:10:14,537 --> 00:10:16,498
out of my giant
Christmas candy cane.
288
00:10:16,498 --> 00:10:17,832
I didn't see
your name on it!
289
00:10:17,832 --> 00:10:19,501
My name is literally
written on it
290
00:10:19,501 --> 00:10:21,962
in huge, green,
sparkly letters!
291
00:10:21,962 --> 00:10:24,089
Well, maybe if you ‐‐
Hey, can you guys
please stop?
292
00:10:24,089 --> 00:10:26,508
All I want for Christmas
is for you two to get along.
293
00:10:26,508 --> 00:10:27,926
Is that too much to ask?
294
00:10:27,926 --> 00:10:29,177
No.
No.
295
00:10:29,177 --> 00:10:30,178
Thank you.
296
00:10:30,178 --> 00:10:32,055
Wait. Why did I
come up here?
297
00:10:32,055 --> 00:10:35,600
To ask us to come downstairs
and visit more with Uncle Greg?
298
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,102
Oh, right!
299
00:10:37,102 --> 00:10:39,229
Don't take long.
300
00:10:39,229 --> 00:10:40,397
Whoa.
301
00:10:40,397 --> 00:10:42,065
You just controlled
her mind.
302
00:10:42,065 --> 00:10:44,484
You're like that fungus
that gets into an ant's brain,
303
00:10:44,484 --> 00:10:46,403
then makes the ant climb
to the top of a tree
304
00:10:46,403 --> 00:10:47,904
and then blows up
the ant's head
305
00:10:47,904 --> 00:10:50,615
so the fungal spores
go all over the forest.
306
00:10:51,866 --> 00:10:53,785
Yeah, I guess I am.
307
00:10:53,785 --> 00:10:56,621
♪♪
308
00:10:56,621 --> 00:10:58,206
Oh. Hey.
309
00:10:58,206 --> 00:10:59,291
Hope you don't mind.
310
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:01,334
Just snooping around
your office a bit.
311
00:11:01,334 --> 00:11:04,296
Ah, these photos of your family
are lovely.
312
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:06,381
All I have on my walls
are degrees and awards.
313
00:11:06,381 --> 00:11:07,465
[ Chuckles ]
314
00:11:07,465 --> 00:11:09,092
Yeah.
We all get it.
315
00:11:09,092 --> 00:11:11,094
You're the more successful
brother. Congrats.
316
00:11:11,094 --> 00:11:12,053
What?
317
00:11:12,053 --> 00:11:13,680
Oh, no,
you've got it all wrong.
318
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,725
You've got the lovely wife
and the three amazing kids.
319
00:11:16,725 --> 00:11:18,560
I'm all alone.
320
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:20,645
No, you're
the more successful brother.
321
00:11:20,645 --> 00:11:22,397
I am?
322
00:11:22,397 --> 00:11:24,149
That's why I came to America
so quickly
323
00:11:24,149 --> 00:11:26,860
when I found out
I had a sibling.
324
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:29,654
I mean, the one thing
I've always wanted is a family.
325
00:11:29,654 --> 00:11:30,947
You never married?
326
00:11:30,947 --> 00:11:33,450
No, just a series
of vapid models,
327
00:11:33,450 --> 00:11:36,953
bouncing around from
nimble woman to nimble woman,
328
00:11:36,953 --> 00:11:38,038
most of them half my age.
329
00:11:38,038 --> 00:11:40,332
Let's move on
from your sad love life.
330
00:11:40,332 --> 00:11:42,709
But you understand
the importance of family.
331
00:11:42,709 --> 00:11:44,669
That's why I'm sure
you would've tracked me down
332
00:11:44,669 --> 00:11:46,129
as soon as you found out
about me,
333
00:11:46,129 --> 00:11:49,132
but Katie cooked up
this little surprise instead.
334
00:11:49,132 --> 00:11:52,010
[ Door opens, closes ]
Yeah. O‐Of course.
I‐I would've come running.
335
00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:54,637
Katie: Greg!
Can you come in here, please?
336
00:11:54,637 --> 00:11:55,764
Coming.
Coming.
337
00:11:55,764 --> 00:11:58,266
Oh, that's...
probably you.
338
00:11:59,726 --> 00:12:01,603
Katie: Look who's here, Greg ‐‐
my mother.
339
00:12:01,603 --> 00:12:02,854
What a surprise.
340
00:12:02,854 --> 00:12:05,732
Yeah, well, uh,
Greg called me and said
341
00:12:05,732 --> 00:12:08,026
how much you missed me,
so I just stuffed your father
342
00:12:08,026 --> 00:12:10,028
with the loose pills I found
at the bottom of my purse
343
00:12:10,028 --> 00:12:11,154
and came right over.
344
00:12:11,154 --> 00:12:12,530
Oh, that is
so sweet of him.
345
00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:14,282
Greg, can you come
in the office
346
00:12:14,282 --> 00:12:16,034
and help me check
on the printer toner again?
347
00:12:16,034 --> 00:12:17,786
Katie, I can ‐‐
We're low on magenta,
Greg.
348
00:12:17,786 --> 00:12:18,995
We're low.
349
00:12:22,832 --> 00:12:24,042
Happy Christmas.
350
00:12:24,042 --> 00:12:25,460
I have no idea
who you are,
351
00:12:25,460 --> 00:12:28,129
but I have a feeling you know
how to make a rum hot toddy.
352
00:12:28,129 --> 00:12:29,130
That, I do.
353
00:12:29,130 --> 00:12:31,216
Alright, then.
354
00:12:31,216 --> 00:12:33,176
Oh, my God.
355
00:12:33,176 --> 00:12:35,053
A meat tree?
356
00:12:35,053 --> 00:12:37,263
I thought I buried
that tradition with my mother.
357
00:12:39,057 --> 00:12:41,267
Um, what the hell, Greg?
358
00:12:41,267 --> 00:12:42,519
Let me explain.
359
00:12:42,519 --> 00:12:45,063
When I invited your mom,
it was in retaliation
360
00:12:45,063 --> 00:12:47,565
to you inviting my brother
without asking me.
361
00:12:47,565 --> 00:12:50,402
But in the meantime ‐‐
and here's the funny twist ‐‐
362
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:52,612
my brother and I had
a really nice moment,
363
00:12:52,612 --> 00:12:54,447
and I realized
you were right.
364
00:12:54,447 --> 00:12:56,116
I am super mad at you.
365
00:12:56,116 --> 00:12:57,742
But real quick ‐‐
what am I right about?
366
00:12:57,742 --> 00:13:00,245
I do regret not calling
my brother for two years.
367
00:13:00,245 --> 00:13:03,498
My pond
needed to be mucked.
368
00:13:03,498 --> 00:13:04,874
Maybe yours does, too.
369
00:13:04,874 --> 00:13:08,044
Maybe me
revenge‐inviting your mom
370
00:13:08,044 --> 00:13:09,212
was a good thing.
371
00:13:09,212 --> 00:13:11,172
I just wanted to bond
with Taylor,
372
00:13:11,172 --> 00:13:13,842
and now my mother
is going to ruin it.
373
00:13:13,842 --> 00:13:16,344
In the future, leave the mucking
to the professionals.
374
00:13:16,344 --> 00:13:17,637
[ Piano plays ]
375
00:13:17,637 --> 00:13:20,932
♪ You better watch out,
you better not cry ♪
376
00:13:20,932 --> 00:13:24,436
♪ You better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why ♪
377
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:25,520
♪ Santa Claus... ♪
378
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:28,022
Wow.
He plays the piano, too.
379
00:13:28,022 --> 00:13:30,191
He has a very sad,
lonely life.
380
00:13:30,191 --> 00:13:32,902
♪ Santa Claus is comin' ♪
381
00:13:32,902 --> 00:13:38,032
♪ To toooooooooooown ♪
382
00:13:38,032 --> 00:13:39,159
[ Laughter ]
383
00:13:39,159 --> 00:13:41,161
What a nice Christmas
this is turning out to be.
384
00:13:41,161 --> 00:13:43,163
I'm just thrilled to be
with family this year.
385
00:13:43,163 --> 00:13:45,748
Kathryn: Oh, Greg,
your brother is fabulous.
386
00:13:45,748 --> 00:13:48,042
Why did it take you two years
to get in touch with him?
387
00:13:48,042 --> 00:13:49,794
Pardon?
388
00:13:49,794 --> 00:13:52,130
Yeah, yeah,
two years ago Thanksgiving,
389
00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:53,673
Greg's mother let it slip
390
00:13:53,673 --> 00:13:55,842
that his dad
had a second family.
391
00:13:55,842 --> 00:13:58,428
Ugh.
It was so uncomfortable.
392
00:13:58,428 --> 00:14:00,346
And everybody
was miserable.
393
00:14:00,346 --> 00:14:01,806
I loved it.
[ Chuckles ]
394
00:14:02,765 --> 00:14:04,934
You knew about me
two years ago
395
00:14:04,934 --> 00:14:06,394
and never thought to call?
396
00:14:06,394 --> 00:14:07,395
It's complicated, Greg.
397
00:14:07,395 --> 00:14:09,689
You lied to me, Greg.
398
00:14:09,689 --> 00:14:12,025
That makes you
no better than Dad.
399
00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:13,359
Uh, I need some air.
400
00:14:15,153 --> 00:14:16,529
Kathryn: Ooh.
401
00:14:16,529 --> 00:14:18,031
[ Door opens ]
This could give
that Thanksgiving
402
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:19,741
a run for its money.
[ Door closes ]
403
00:14:19,741 --> 00:14:22,452
Now I see why you didn't want
your mother here for Christmas.
404
00:14:22,452 --> 00:14:24,787
Wait, w‐‐ You ‐‐
You didn't want me here?
405
00:14:24,787 --> 00:14:26,873
Then why did he call me
and say that you did?
406
00:14:26,873 --> 00:14:28,541
He invited you here
to get back at me
407
00:14:28,541 --> 00:14:31,711
for inviting his brother
without asking him.
408
00:14:31,711 --> 00:14:34,422
Oh, so this was
a spite invite?
409
00:14:34,422 --> 00:14:37,508
Just for that,
I am staying for two weeks.
410
00:14:37,508 --> 00:14:39,802
I didn't know you didn't
want to see your brother,
411
00:14:39,802 --> 00:14:41,888
but you knew I didn't
want to see my mother.
412
00:14:41,888 --> 00:14:43,765
[ Scoffs ]
I'm staying three weeks,
413
00:14:43,765 --> 00:14:45,183
and I'm wearing
the shorty robe.
414
00:14:45,183 --> 00:14:46,267
[ Gasps ]
415
00:14:46,267 --> 00:14:49,812
♪♪
416
00:14:53,483 --> 00:14:55,526
♪♪
417
00:14:55,526 --> 00:14:56,903
[ Both sigh ]
418
00:14:56,903 --> 00:14:59,155
There goes the drama‐free
Christmas we wanted.
419
00:14:59,155 --> 00:15:00,740
Worst part is,
it's all our fault.
420
00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:04,160
Should've just gotten
you the flashlight
I saw on Facebook.
421
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,120
It also can break a windshield
if you drive into a lake.
422
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,205
Smart.
423
00:15:07,205 --> 00:15:10,625
I'm gonna go out front
and wait for my brother.
424
00:15:10,625 --> 00:15:12,043
You go deal with your mom.
425
00:15:12,043 --> 00:15:14,337
Why are the holidays
about family?
426
00:15:14,337 --> 00:15:16,464
Why can't it just be
about Chinese food
427
00:15:16,464 --> 00:15:18,091
and going to the movies?
428
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,300
Should we become Jewish?
429
00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:20,510
I don't know. Maybe.
430
00:15:20,510 --> 00:15:21,636
Ehh.
431
00:15:27,642 --> 00:15:28,768
[ Katie sighs ]
432
00:15:28,768 --> 00:15:30,270
[ Door closes ]
433
00:15:30,270 --> 00:15:31,271
Hi, Mom.
434
00:15:31,271 --> 00:15:33,314
I get it.
You hate me.
435
00:15:33,314 --> 00:15:35,692
Is it because I missed
most of your birthday parties?
436
00:15:35,692 --> 00:15:37,986
Or because I made out with
your boyfriend in high school?
437
00:15:37,986 --> 00:15:39,779
Because I told you ‐‐
Mom, I know.
438
00:15:39,779 --> 00:15:41,823
He kissed you, and you were
just being polite.
439
00:15:41,823 --> 00:15:42,949
Exactly.
440
00:15:42,949 --> 00:15:44,450
You're making this
very hard for me
441
00:15:44,450 --> 00:15:46,244
to say I'm sorry
about all this.
442
00:15:46,244 --> 00:15:48,788
Well, why didn't you want me
to come to Christmas Eve dinner?
443
00:15:48,788 --> 00:15:49,998
I knew you would
get in the way
444
00:15:49,998 --> 00:15:51,833
of me doing my thing
with Taylor.
445
00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:53,793
You tend to be
somewhat judgmental.
446
00:15:53,793 --> 00:15:55,086
Oh, stop it.
I ‐‐
447
00:15:55,086 --> 00:15:56,421
[ Sniffs ]
448
00:15:56,421 --> 00:15:58,464
Oh. Where'd you get this wine?
The car wash?
449
00:15:58,464 --> 00:16:00,091
[ Chuckles ]
450
00:16:00,091 --> 00:16:01,718
I see.
451
00:16:01,718 --> 00:16:03,261
Building this with Taylor
this year
452
00:16:03,261 --> 00:16:05,513
was just too important
for you to mess up.
453
00:16:05,513 --> 00:16:07,015
Well, why is this year
so important?
454
00:16:07,015 --> 00:16:09,642
Because next year,
she's going off to college,
455
00:16:09,642 --> 00:16:12,061
and this is
her last Christmas at home.
456
00:16:12,061 --> 00:16:13,396
So? She'll be back.
457
00:16:13,396 --> 00:16:15,356
I told you I'd come back,
and I never did.
458
00:16:15,356 --> 00:16:16,816
Yeah, but why would you
come back?
459
00:16:16,816 --> 00:16:19,277
I mean, I was a terrible mother.
You're not.
460
00:16:19,277 --> 00:16:21,529
You take an interest
in Taylor's life.
461
00:16:21,529 --> 00:16:23,906
[ Sighs ]
She'll be back.
462
00:16:27,285 --> 00:16:28,411
You think?
463
00:16:28,411 --> 00:16:29,704
Trust me.
464
00:16:30,913 --> 00:16:35,084
Uh...my Spam angel
isn't exactly turning out.
465
00:16:35,084 --> 00:16:36,836
Don't worry about it.
466
00:16:36,836 --> 00:16:38,755
Meat tree is off.
467
00:16:38,755 --> 00:16:39,839
Yes!
468
00:16:39,839 --> 00:16:41,132
You're the best mom.
469
00:16:41,132 --> 00:16:43,968
How about we start a new
tradition that's not nauseating?
470
00:16:43,968 --> 00:16:46,596
Something that the three of us
can do together.
471
00:16:46,596 --> 00:16:47,597
Really?
Mm‐hmm.
472
00:16:47,597 --> 00:16:48,931
We could build
a snowman.
473
00:16:48,931 --> 00:16:50,350
I don't think
Grandma wants to stand
474
00:16:50,350 --> 00:16:51,642
out in the freezing cold,
honey.
475
00:16:51,642 --> 00:16:53,978
Actually, Grandma has
her own holiday tradition
476
00:16:53,978 --> 00:16:55,396
that keeps her
very warm.
477
00:16:55,396 --> 00:16:56,439
[ Chuckles ]
478
00:16:56,439 --> 00:16:57,732
Mm.
479
00:16:57,732 --> 00:16:59,442
What are we gonna do
with this?
480
00:16:59,442 --> 00:17:03,488
♪♪
481
00:17:03,488 --> 00:17:04,614
[ Whimpers ]
482
00:17:04,614 --> 00:17:07,950
Even he thinks
it's gross.
483
00:17:07,950 --> 00:17:10,787
It's not Christmas
without Nana's platter, Mom.
484
00:17:10,787 --> 00:17:12,205
That's what
I went upstairs for.
485
00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:13,289
Thank you, sweetie.
486
00:17:20,421 --> 00:17:21,464
[ Gasps ]
487
00:17:23,883 --> 00:17:25,259
What the hell?
488
00:17:25,259 --> 00:17:28,304
That platter survived
two world wars
489
00:17:28,304 --> 00:17:31,265
and Lee Majors'
Christmas Bacchanalia.
490
00:17:31,265 --> 00:17:33,393
[ Both sigh ]
491
00:17:33,393 --> 00:17:36,229
I can't believe
I did this.
492
00:17:41,025 --> 00:17:43,194
Mom,
it wasn't your fault.
493
00:17:43,194 --> 00:17:45,071
You didn't break the platter.
We did.
494
00:17:45,071 --> 00:17:46,864
Anna‐Kat:
We glued it back together,
495
00:17:46,864 --> 00:17:48,783
but we didn't let it dry
long enough.
496
00:17:48,783 --> 00:17:51,411
I can't believe
the two of you did this.
497
00:17:51,411 --> 00:17:54,288
Anna‐Kat was there, but I
convinced her to cover it up.
498
00:17:54,288 --> 00:17:56,624
Oliver, you are in
so much troub‐‐
499
00:17:56,624 --> 00:17:58,960
To be fair, Mom,
all you wanted for Christmas
500
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:02,004
was for us to get along,
and...
501
00:18:02,004 --> 00:18:04,257
look at us.
502
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:07,051
So you're saying you worked
together to deceive me,
503
00:18:07,051 --> 00:18:08,469
and that's how
you got along?
504
00:18:08,469 --> 00:18:10,596
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
505
00:18:10,596 --> 00:18:12,473
Okay.
506
00:18:12,473 --> 00:18:16,519
But because of this,
you two are going to repair it
507
00:18:16,519 --> 00:18:18,479
so that Taylor
can inherit it.
508
00:18:18,479 --> 00:18:21,065
You seriously don't have
one piece of jewelry to give me?
509
00:18:21,065 --> 00:18:22,817
Mnh‐mnh.
510
00:18:22,817 --> 00:18:30,616
♪♪
511
00:18:30,616 --> 00:18:32,243
It's pretty cold out here
for a walk.
512
00:18:32,243 --> 00:18:33,828
You've been gone
a while.
513
00:18:33,828 --> 00:18:35,621
"Blow, blow,
thou winter wind,
514
00:18:35,621 --> 00:18:39,292
thou art not so unkind
as man's ingratitude."
515
00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:40,668
I deserve that.
516
00:18:40,668 --> 00:18:43,337
Nothing stings quite as much
as a good Shakespearean burn.
517
00:18:44,547 --> 00:18:46,174
I'm sorry I didn't try
and find you
518
00:18:46,174 --> 00:18:48,259
as soon as Dad told me
I had a brother.
519
00:18:48,259 --> 00:18:50,428
I think I was still
angry with him,
520
00:18:50,428 --> 00:18:52,805
and I took it out
on you.
521
00:18:52,805 --> 00:18:54,557
Yeah, I can see that.
522
00:18:54,557 --> 00:18:55,975
Now that I've met you,
I understand
523
00:18:55,975 --> 00:18:57,560
why he never approved
of anything I did.
524
00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,897
He had another son
he approved of ‐‐ you.
525
00:19:00,897 --> 00:19:02,690
That's not really
the truth, Greg.
526
00:19:02,690 --> 00:19:04,901
I was sent away to
boarding school when I was 7.
527
00:19:04,901 --> 00:19:07,445
Dad saw me
two weeks a year.
528
00:19:07,445 --> 00:19:09,405
I now realize
that's 'cause he was here
529
00:19:09,405 --> 00:19:11,073
the rest of the year ‐‐
with you.
530
00:19:11,073 --> 00:19:14,285
He was, but he took
absolutely no interest in me.
531
00:19:14,285 --> 00:19:15,453
Ah.
532
00:19:15,453 --> 00:19:17,121
So I guess
we were both neglected,
533
00:19:17,121 --> 00:19:19,457
just in different ways.
534
00:19:19,457 --> 00:19:21,083
It's funny ‐‐
you're the only other person
535
00:19:21,083 --> 00:19:22,752
who knows what it's like
to have our father.
536
00:19:22,752 --> 00:19:25,463
And who knows the crazy sound
he makes after he sneezes.
537
00:19:25,463 --> 00:19:27,048
Both: Achoo‐floo‐floo!
538
00:19:27,048 --> 00:19:28,800
What is that?
[ Chuckling ]
I don't know.
539
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:29,801
[ Sighs ]
540
00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:31,928
So...brothers?
541
00:19:31,928 --> 00:19:33,638
Ah, brothers.
542
00:19:33,638 --> 00:19:34,931
[ Grunts ]
543
00:19:34,931 --> 00:19:36,015
[ Chuckles ]
544
00:19:36,015 --> 00:19:37,683
I think it's time
we show these kids
545
00:19:37,683 --> 00:19:39,227
how to have
a real snowball fight!
546
00:19:39,227 --> 00:19:40,812
Come on, American Greg!
547
00:19:43,648 --> 00:19:45,233
So, Dad never taught you
to throw a ball, either?
548
00:19:45,233 --> 00:19:46,859
No, he did not.
Mm.
549
00:19:46,859 --> 00:19:48,236
Let's get 'em!
550
00:19:48,236 --> 00:19:50,905
[ Laughter, screaming ]
551
00:19:50,905 --> 00:19:53,783
♪♪
552
00:19:53,783 --> 00:19:57,620
[ Laughter ]
553
00:19:57,620 --> 00:19:58,621
It is?
Mm‐hmm.
554
00:19:58,621 --> 00:19:59,872
Thank you.
555
00:19:59,872 --> 00:20:01,916
[ Laughter ]
556
00:20:01,916 --> 00:20:05,628
♪♪
557
00:20:05,628 --> 00:20:07,171
You want
to cock it back...
558
00:20:07,171 --> 00:20:09,841
Okay.
...step, throw.
559
00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:12,885
[ Indistinct talking ]
560
00:20:12,885 --> 00:20:14,303
[ Camera clicks ]
561
00:20:14,303 --> 00:20:17,807
♪♪
562
00:20:17,807 --> 00:20:20,560
When everyone's asleep,
let's add our gifts to Santa's.
563
00:20:21,561 --> 00:20:22,770
Now that I have
a brother,
564
00:20:22,770 --> 00:20:24,730
we have so much brother stuff
to catch up on.
565
00:20:24,730 --> 00:20:28,943
I'm glad that you're excited
that you have a brother.
566
00:20:28,943 --> 00:20:30,069
I am.
567
00:20:30,069 --> 00:20:31,821
I'm glad
you mucked in my pond.
568
00:20:31,821 --> 00:20:32,947
Thank you, honey.
569
00:20:32,947 --> 00:20:34,282
Uh, quick question.
570
00:20:34,282 --> 00:20:37,368
I know that Taylor is,
but is Oliver of drinking age?
571
00:20:37,368 --> 00:20:39,203
None of the kids
are old enough to drink.
572
00:20:39,203 --> 00:20:40,872
Right.
573
00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:42,623
I knew that.
574
00:20:42,623 --> 00:20:44,166
Kids, bad news!
575
00:20:44,166 --> 00:20:45,293
Ugh.
576
00:20:45,293 --> 00:20:47,837
Next time, Greg,
just drown me in the pond.
577
00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:53,711
♪ Hark! The herald angels sing ♪
578
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:56,630
♪ "Glory to the newborn King ♪
579
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:59,300
♪ Peace on Earth
and mercy mild ♪
580
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:02,303
♪ God and sinners reconciled" ♪
581
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:05,306
♪ Joyful, all ye nations rise ♪
582
00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:08,559
♪ Join the triumph
of the skies ♪
583
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:11,312
♪ With angelic hosts proclaim ♪
584
00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:14,315
♪ "Christ is born
in Bethlehem" ♪
585
00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:16,650
♪ Hark! The herald a‐‐ ♪
586
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:19,320
Oliver.
587
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,697
♪♪
39101
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