All language subtitles for Young Sheldon s03e10_English

Previously onYoung Sheldon...I saw Connie

for the first time since
I broke up with her,

and it's making me wonder
if she also

is feeling lonely, and I made
a bad decision for both of us.

I hate to be the one
to tell you this, John,

but she's kind of been seeing
someone new.

She seems to be doing okay.

Oh, I hope he gets lost
at sea and never returns!

I'm having a
lot of feelings.

Hey.Connie.

I thought I'd just,
uh... say "hi."

Would it be awkward
if I asked her to join us?

Oh, couldn't be
any moreawkward.

[thunder rumbles][bird cawing]

ADULT SHELDON:
In many ways,

a high school is like
an academic house of horrors.

[thunder crackles]

[eerie organ music plays] There's the cafeteria,

which when even
freshly cleaned,

maintains a subtle aroma of
tater tots and throw-up.

The schoolyard,
where one is exposed

to bullying by delinquents
and attacks from above

by eye-pecking demons.

[singing]

[electrical buzzing]

But all of these pale
in comparison

to the most horrific location
of all.

A place teeming with the sweat
and secretions

from hundreds
of unwashed bodies.

The swimming pool.

Sorry, Sheldon.
Water safety is a required

part of your P.E. class.

But other kids
use that pool.

It's basically a big
bowl of teenager soup.

It's out of my hands.
It's a state requirement.

If you don't like it, take it up
with your congressman.

I did.

He won't return my calls.

[eerie organ music plays]

Then I guess
you're swimming tomorrow.

[sinister laughter]

[thunder crashing][laughing maniacally]

ADULT SHELDON:
Except for the laughter,
the glowing eyes

and the lightning, that's exactly how it happened.

♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain

♪ I bet I could be your hero

♪ I am a mighty little man

♪ I am a mighty little man.♪

I'm a little nervous.

You're the first ex-girlfriend

I've ever been friends with.

And you're also
my first ex-girlfriend.

And that's because you...

How about you just think of me
as your friend?

Okay. Yes, that's good.

So, I understand

you're seeing someone new.

Tell me everything.

No!

I assumed that, uh, as friends,

we could tell each other
about our personal lives.

Trust me, John, you-you don't
want to hear about these things.

Actually, I do.

Your happiness is
very important to me.

Oh, what the hell.

His name is Dale.

He owns a sporting
goods store.

And we've only been
out a few times,

but so far, so good.

Well, that sounds wonderful.

Good for you.

Thank you.

Now, would you like to hear

about the women I'm dating?

You're dating other women?

[laughs]

Heavens, no.

Come on, Jesus. This is
for your birthday. Help me out.

Boy, Sheldon is really worked up
about this whole swimming thing.

Don't you think he should learn
for his own safety?

You really think he's ever
gonna go near a body of water?

Yeah. It's only a matter of time

before someone throws him
in one.

Well, break it to him gently.

Wait-- Me?

Swimming's a sport,
and you're a sports person.

And he's a mama's boy,
and you're his mama.

[sighs]

How about we do it together?

[sighs]

Fine, but you can't
hang me out to dry.

Of course not.

We're a team.
We're in this together, right?

You bet.

She's gonna hang me out to dry.

ADULT SHELDON: Observation
is an important part

of the scientific method.

Darwin observed the finches,

Jane Goodall observed
the chimpanzees,

and for some reason,

Dr. Sturgis wanted to observe
my meemaw's new suitor.

DALE:
Couple days, so...

Excuse me just
for one second.

Howdy. Can I help you?

No, no, just browsing.

Yeah, well,

any particular sport
you might need that for?

Depends. What the heck is it?

It's a cup.

A cup?

What kind of a cup
has holes in it?

Well, it protects
your private parts.

Oh.

Well, I can see how

that might be useful.

Well, this has been
very informative.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You just, uh...

If you have any more
questions, you let me know.

I certainly will.

All right.

[quietly]:
Georgie, I want you to keep an
eye on that weirdo over there.

GEORGE JR.:
I know

that weirdo.
He used to date my meemaw.

That guy?

Yeah, he's, like,
super smart.

I'm not sure
I believe you.

Hey, Dr. Sturgis.

Hello!

Wait. Uh-oh.

[phone rings]Hello.

I may have made
a questionable, uh, decision

regarding our friendship.

What have you done, John?

I went
to the sporting goods store

to check out your new fella.

Did you speak to him?

Oh, yes. In fact,
he sold me an athletic supporter

to protect my genitals.

Good.

You may want to be wearing that
next time I see you.

Okay.

[TV playing indistinctly]

Shelly,

can you turn the
TV off for a second?

But after this commercial break,

Professor Proton is going
to use a candle

to suck a hard-boiled egg
into a milk bottle.

We'll make it quick.

Go ahead.

Your father has something
to tell you.

Your mother wants
you to swim.George!

Mom!

PROFESSOR PROTON:
Who's ready to suck eggs?

[grunts softly]

That was the lamest
tantrum I've ever seen.

I'm being forced
to swim tomorrow in P.E.

Poor baby. You have
to play in a pool

instead of sit
in a classroom.

A pool of sweat, germs
and dead skin cells.

Still better
than learning.

Maybe it's time for me
to run away from home

and join a traveling math club.

Just pretend to be sick.

But that would be lying.
I'm not a liar.

Well, you better be a swimmer.

Or a drowner.

[sighs]

Ugh!

FEMALE VOICE:
Why don't you like me?

You're full of bacteria.

So are you, but you don't hear
me saying, "Ugh." It's rude.

Look, I may just be pool water,

but I still have feelings.

Sorry, water.

Come on.

My pH level is 7.4,

and with three parts
per million of chlorine,

I'm cleaner
than your daddy's plate

after Thanksgiving dinner.

Wow. That's pretty clean.

Look how clear I am, Sheldon.

You can see
all the way to the bottom.

Closer.

A little closer.

[whispering]:
A little closer.

Gotcha!

Pool monster!
[panting]

[Sheldon coughs]

I don't feel well.

What's wrong, baby?

I don't know.
I just feel awful.

Well, there is something
going around.

Billy Sparks got
some kind of bug.

That is consistent
with what I said. Good.

[coughs]You're staying home today.

I'll go make you some tea.

Welcome to the dark side.

Mom says
you're sick.

[whispers]:
He's faking.

Really?

[door closes]

Why? You love school.

Swim test.

Oh, sure. You would die.

If you're gonna do this,

let me give you
some pointers.

You've done this before?

Tell him.

Oh, he's
the master.

He coached me through
my last two...

[hoarsely]:
sore throats.

I slept on the couch
during those.

I know.

GEORGE JR.:
First of all,

you got to cough
even when Mom's not in the room.

Got it.

[coughing]

And don't put the thermometer
in the tea.

114 fever is a giveaway.

Smart.Told you.

Oh, don't be afraid
to let her look in your throat.

She's checking
to see if it's red,

but it's always red.

You aregood.

Here, try spitting up
a little phlegm.

[clearing throat, sniffing]

[spits]

We got work to do.

I'm sure he'll
feel better tomorrow.

And you can send any homework
that he needs to do

with his brother.

Thank you.

Doesn't this all seem
a little convenient?

You think he's faking it?

Today's the swim test.

It's pretty suspicious.

Sheldon just coughed up
something gross in a tissue.

See?

And that's why
he's staying home.

[scoffs]
Mary, come on.

No, I am not changing my mind.
My little boy

is not a liar.

Connie Tucker?

Yeah.Here you go.

Well, thank you.You're welcome.

Hmm.

"I overstepped

"the bounds of friendship.

"Sorry.

John."[phone rings]

Hello?

So, why in the hell
would your ex-boyfriend

send me a giant cookie?

MARY:
My little boy is not a liar.

My little boy is not a liar.

You don't have a temperature.

That's good. You want to
get comfy on the couch

and watch your Star Trektapes?

No, thank you.

I know what'll make you
feel better.

♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty

♪ Little ball of fur

♪ Happy kitty

♪ Sleepy kitty

♪ Purr, purr, purr

♪ Soft liar, warm liar

♪ Little ball of fib

♪ Happy liar, sleepy liar

♪ Fib, fib, fib.

Feel better?

Uh-uh.

Really?

Cooper's out sick?

What a baby.

Really? Cooper's out sick?

Oh, baby!

[chuckles]
Hallelujah!

Happy birthday to me.

MARY:
Shelly, I'm gonna run

to the grocery store real quick
so I can make you some soup.

Okay.

ADULT SHELDON:
I had lied to my mother
and gotten away with it.

The guilt was more
than I could take. [door closes]

I had to make this right.

I could confess
and break my mother's heart,

or I could turn my lie
into the truth

and actually get myself sick.

Hi, Sheldon.

Hello, Billy. I hear
you're not feeling well.

[sniffles]
I'm not. I have a cold.

That's too bad.

Put her there.

Why?

Just shake my hand, Billy.

But my mom says
that's how germs get spread.

I know.You do?

When did you talk to my mom?

Just, eh...

[sputters]

Ugh!

Wait, want to play?

Aw.

Ooh, is that for
your patient?

Yes.

He's still under the weather.

Oh, that's too bad.

Running a fever?

No.

Sniffly nose?

No.

But he couldn't even

bring himself to watch
his Star Trekshow.

Oh, dear.
I better go call an ambulance.

You're not funny.

And he ain't sick.

Cheers.Cheers.

[chuckles]
Mm.

[exhales]
Now, don't fill up on those.

We still got two
giant cookies to finish.[chuckles]

I'm sorry about all
that stuff with John.

I... He means well,
but sometimes

he can just be, uh...
a little quirky.

Yeah, I kind of figured that;
yeah, I watched him

play ping-pong
with his own crotch.

I don't know what that is,
but I'm sure he did it.

Well, I mean,
how'd you meet this guy?

What, did you try
to steal his pot of gold

at the end of the rainbow?

Okay, okay, he's
a very sweet man.

Well, I bet he is.

If you must know,

he's Sheldon's
college professor.

Smart, short and weird--

well, that's the whole package

right there.
Hey, okay,

that's enough.

Well, I got to ask.

Do you feel like you're dating

a supermodel right now?

You didn't touch
your soup, baby.

I'm not hungry.

You aren't feelin' any better?

Well, it'll be in the fridge

if you change your mind.

[sighs]

BATMAN:
Young man.

Yes, you.

Pretending to be sick.

You should be
ashamed of yourself!

But I was afraid
to go in the pool.

You are in a pool.

A pool of your own deceit.

If my mother were alive,

I'd never lie to her.

And I'd always eat her soup.

My grandson's
trying to steal home,

and he trips and he falls
and lands face-first

on the plate, lost a tooth,
we won the game.

Get this.

He finds the tooth
two days later...

when he goes to the bathroom.

[laughing]

[snorts]

That's it?

You don't understand.

He found the tooth...

I got it.

What's going on? You okay?

Actually, no.

I don't like the way you've
been talkin' about John.

I was kidding around.

Well, it bothered me.

Wait a minute, hold it,
hold, hold, hold.

Your weirdo ex comes sneaking
around, checking me out,

and all of a sudden,
I'm the bad guy here?

You don't get
to call him a weirdo.

You don't think he's a weirdo?

Of course he's a weirdo.

You just can't say it.

Oh, I didn't think
it was that big a deal.

Well, it is.
He and I

are friends, and if you don't
stop makin' fun of him,

you and I are gonna
have a problem.

Are you saying
that I'm being naughty,

and you're threatening
to punish me?

'Cause I might like that.

Uh-huh.

See, you're tryin' to be mad
at me and you can't.

Now you aregetting punished.

Check, please!

Mom.

Oh, baby.

What are you doing
out of bed?

I don't need to be in bed.

I'm not sick.

What?

I lied to you

so that I wouldn't have
to take the swim test.

You lied?

I feel terrible about it.

Well, you should
feel terrible.

I trusted you.

I'm sorry. It's just
that I was so afraid

to get in that pool,
so I let Georgie

and Missy teach me
how to fake it.

They said it was easy,
but it's wasn't.

It really wasn't.

Georgie and Missy taught you
how to do this?

I cannot tell a lie--
they sure did!

Okay, calm down.

Now, you listen to me,
you shouldn't have lied.

It's always wrong.

But you made up for it
by telling me the truth.

So, you forgive me?

I do, but...

I need you to do me a favor.

As far as your father is
concerned, you were sick.

Isn't that lying?

Honestly?

No.

ADULT SHELDON: The following
day, I returned to school.

I had no choice but to fulfill

my swimming requirement.

Much like Batman,

I suited up and faced my fears.

Unlike Batman,
I did it with a doggy-paddle

across the shallow end
of the pool.

Uh, regarding pool sanitation,

it turned out I was right.

Itwas teeming with germs.

Only I was the one

who put them there.

As it happens,

my interaction
with Billy Sparks

did get me sick.

I, in turn,
created a small epidemic

taking down 128 students,

four teachers...

and one principal.

It didn't stop there.

I also infected my mother,

father,

sister, brother,

Meemaw...

and Meemaw's friend Dale.

The newly established
boundaries of friendship

helped keep
Dr. Sturgis healthy.

However,
in an unrelated incident,

he crashed his bike
into some garbage cans.

Luckily, he landed on his recently acquired athletic cup.

STURGIS:
That was a wise purchase.

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