All language subtitles for Veni.Vidi.Vici.S01E03_English

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Original subtitles

â™Ș I need some meat on my bones â™Ș

â™Ș Gonna get some meat on my bones â™Ș

â™Ș I need something for my soul â™Ș

â™Ș I need some meat on my bones â™Ș

â™Ș Brother, my brother â™Ș

Apologize?

Do you seriously think I should apologize to your dad?

But seriously, Mom. Grandpa tried to force Dad into killing a pig!

[Karsten] Yeah.

You don't need to apologize for anything.

Thank you.

Yeah. But if you work at a slaughterhouse, that's part of the job, right?

Yes, but I will never slaughter or cut up a pig!

‐Not even at twice the salary! ‐But doesn't it pay well?

‐Slaughtering pigs? ‐Copenhagen.

Doesn't it pay well to direct commercials and stuff like that?

[sighs] Yeah...

But I don't know yet. I need to negotiate the salary.

[Jonna] Make sure you ask for a lot.

You studied at one of Europe's finest film schools.

‐And you're very experienced. ‐Yeah.

They should be grateful to have you on board.

Yeah.

Could you get me a job too?

I could make coffee or whatever. I just need money for a scooter.

Let's see what happens. Then we'll talk about that scooter.

Yeah, because Larsa is getting one for his birthday.

It's not that expensive. It's 25,000.

‐For crying out loud! ‐25,000!

Larsa is just too spoiled... I'm so sorry about this.

I've got a theory about why he's so spoiled.

His dad is ashamed of having met a new woman

just after divorcing his mom.

I think Larsa finds it hard to accept Lotta,

so his dad keeps giving him stuff. Well, never mind.

[phone rings]

Oh...

Hello, Dad.

Yes, we're having breakfast.

[Jonna] Yeah...

Dad says hello. He seemed a little regretful.

He wished you the best of luck with your new job.

Your dad is a mean son of a bitch. I hope you'll see that someday.

Then you're welcome to join the club.

‐Anyway, he invited us for dinner tonight. ‐Uh‐huh?

He wants to introduce his new flame.

‐Kurra. ‐What?

‐Isn't that her name? Kurra? ‐I thought it was Crulla.

Now I'm not sure anymore.

‐Colin Buttley? ‐Well, you need an alias, right?

But you're welcome to use your real name if that's what you prefer.

Yeah, but Colin Buttley is a little...

[chuckles] Yeah, it's maybe too close.

But people will think,

"Did Colin Nutley make a porno with his wife..." What's her name?

"Wow, we got to see that!"

Vinny, dammit, I won't call myself Colin Buttley.

OK. So what name do you prefer?

Topper Harley.

That's a good name!

Who the hell is Topper Harley?

Topper Harley? It's Charlie Sheen's character in Hot Shots.

Topper Harley...

Topper Harley.

It's pretty cool. Let's go with Topper Harley!

Topper Harley is born. Cheers to that!

Vinny, listen to me.

We haven't discussed my salary yet.

OK, how much do you want? Give me a number.

I'm taking a huge risk here, OK?

Vinny, this is porn, goddammit!

So if you want me to do this...

I want 50,000 Danish kroner a month.

I was trained at one of the best film schools in Europe.

I have a lot of experience. And I'm well‐known.

OK, I'm well‐known to some.

75,000 Danish kroner a month.

75,000 Danish kroner?

You're Karsten Daugaard, dammit! Of course you should be paid well.

OK. 75,000 Danish kroner.

Welcome on board. Cock 'n' roll, motherfucker!

Cheers!

OK, and this is our Georgina.

Georgina, Karsten. Karsten, Georgina.

‐Hi. ‐Hello.

‐OK, so how's it going? ‐Good. Making history.

‐Uh‐huh? You got something to show? ‐Sure.

[chuckling]

The bottle!

You have to have fun on your set, you know.

‐[phone buzzes] ‐Oh.

I gotta take this.

OK.

‐[baby gurgles] ‐Yeah...

Hello. Did you buy a dog?

‐No, it's our neighbor's dog. ‐Her name is Rocco.

‐Roccoco. ‐OK.

Personally, when I see tiny dogs...

It might sound weird, but I really want to crush them with my feet.

Crush them until they die.

It's more an obsession, really.

‐You know what I mean. ‐Yeah.

Rocco. Come here! Come sit with me.

So... Vinny tells me we're going to be working together.

Well, we haven't exactly discussed it yet.

Well, yes, I think it's going to go this way. Yeah.

‐You're also a director. ‐Yeah.

Good.

Maybe you can help me with something.

‐Mm‐hm. ‐Yeah.

Um... Just have a look at this.

OK. So...

[Lene moaning on video]

Does he come on her tits here or wait for her mom?

‐Her mom? ‐Sister.

‐Better. Better! ‐[moaning on video]

[phone rings]

Could you turn this off a little? I have to take this phone call.

I'm going to turn the volume down so you can make the call.

‐Yeah. It'll just take two minutes. ‐Sure.

‐Jonna? ‐Did Sam talk to you?

What happened?

Someone filmed her when she went to the bathroom in school today.

She's afraid the film will end up online.

‐Was it Larsa? ‐Yes, I think so.

That little idiot!

[Lene moaning]

One moment!

Hold on a second.

OK, I'm back.

‐What was that? ‐Just boxing on YouTube.

‐So how's Sam? ‐She's home and she's really upset.

Don't work too late. Let's do something together.

Keep working, douchebags!

‐I'm going to grab a coffee. ‐Sure, just leave.

Alright...

Come on, fucker!

‐I'm so sorry... ‐Oh, are you Karsten Daugaard?

‐Uh... Yeah... ‐I mean, the Karsten Daugaard.

‐Yeah, I guess so. ‐Fuck me, I like you so much!

I'm such a huge fan! I mean, Veni, Vidi, Vici, it rocked my world.

Is it awkward if we take a picture together?

‐Uh, you and me? Yeah, OK. ‐OK, thank you!

Whoa, whoa... Is there more?

‐Look. ‐Oh, fuck me.

OK.

I'm so fucking fucked.

I have to work all day and night to get rid of this shit.

Sorry, but it's not my fucking problem.

Yeah, I know it's not your problem.

But I still have a right to fucking complain, OK?

‐Smartass. ‐What? What did you say?

I said you piss me off!

‐You and this fucking van! ‐Watch the van, will you?

‐I think you're a genius. ‐Thank you. Bye‐bye.

Thank you!

[Vinny and man arguing]

Man, you should stop complaining and focus on selling this shit!

Because if you don't do it, I'll hurt you. OK?

OK. Easy, boy.

Why?

Are you pissing your pants, old man? Hm?

I think you got the point, right?

Yeah, I got the point.

Good.

Go to work.

Take your box.

‐I'm out of here! ‐Goddamn, you scared me.

What's this? All these boxes?

We just received this month's supply of lubricants.

Vaseline and stuff like that. We use tons of this shit.

Oh!

‐Oh? ‐Yeah. Now you're mine!

Well, I'm off. My daughter has some problems.

‐We're not shooting today, right? ‐No.

‐Alright, see you! ‐Tomorrow's D‐Day!

So you want me, Karsten Daugaard, to direct a porno tomorrow?

With dicks, pussy, everything?

[man] Don't worry. We'll start off slow.

Then when you feel you're ready, you'll do full contact.

What do you mean by "start off slow"?

Here.

What's here?

Look at it as a signing bonus. Some fuck‐you cash is always useful.

[chuckles]

We've always been good at doing business together.

Come here!

Drive carefully on the bridge!

See you tomorrow!

[Karsten] Larsa is just as annoying as his father!

It's not the first time he's harassed Sam.

‐It ends now! ‐I know.

I've already talked to Lotta. She'll have a word with Erik.

She was very upset. She apologized

and will make sure it's deleted.

We can't do much more.

No?

[doorbell]

‐Karsten! ‐I need to have a word with you.

‐About your son Larsa. ‐What about him?

Why the fuck is he harassing my daughter?

It was just a joke! He deleted it. Everything's fine.

Fine? He's filming my daughter when she's peeing!

It was just a bit of mischief. Go home!

Is this one his?

What the fuck are you doing?

Goddamn Danish scumbag!

Come back here!

You will pay for this!

He better not have broken it...

‐What's going on? ‐It's that Danish fuck!

Goddammit, it's off! Look at this.

‐What's going on, baby? ‐It's Karsten, dammit! He broke it!

Larsa!

‐Are you joking? ‐Nope.

‐Did you bust up Larsa's moped? ‐Yep.

That's awesome!

So you won't be bothered by that loser again.

What if it gets worse?

Then I promise you I will start a war. [imitates gun]

‐Later. ‐Yeah.

Yeah, I'll talk to him. OK, bye.

Hm...

They're about this close to reporting you to the police.

Jonna, sometimes you need

to put your foot down.

Maybe in Denmark, but not here.

No, not here in Sweden.

You are so goddamn afraid of any kind of conflict!

You won't even look at your own shit in the toilet!

Sure, compared to Denmark's medieval and reactionary view on women and immigration,

the difference is pretty big.

‐Oh. Is that so? ‐Yeah.

Now we need to pay for all the damage too.

‐I don't know if this will cover it. ‐What's this?

It's 75,000 Danish kroner they gave me in advance.

‐Could you repeat that in Swedish? ‐Sure.

It's 75,000 Danish kroner they gave me in advance.

‐75,000? ‐Yeah.

No way!

Tell your dad my salary is 75,000 Danish kroner.

You tell him! We're going there for dinner.

Damn...

I met your father AÅke at the bar.

He was having a drink by himself. All alone.

I realized I needed to hurry up before he got too drunk. [laughs]

He talked about his ambitions and his company.

I like a man with ambition.

And then he told me his name is AÅke.

That's a man with whom I wish to share this journey through life.

He's so adorable.

‐I just want to bite him! ‐Ow!

[laughter]

Let's have a toast for Karsten and his new job!

‐Yeah. ‐Cheers!

Salamati in Persian.

‐Tell him about your salary. ‐Yes?

Sure.

Uh...

I earn 25,000 Danish kroner a month.

‐25,000? That's good... ‐No, 75,000.

‐[indistinct dialogue] ‐Even better!

‐That's very generous! ‐Yeah.

This means I can start my business without taking a salary.

Yes. From now on I'll be paying the bills. For a change.

Now I'm curious. What kind of work do you do?

I work with...

commercials.

Karsten is embarrassed to admit it.

But no one cares. Everybody's into publicity.

Why would you feel ashamed? You have a job and a salary.

That's something to be proud of.

Thank you.

I have to ask, is your name

a common Persian name?

My real name is influenced by Arabic.

‐It's Kadeja al Sadir‐Chukrija. ‐So your name isn't Crulla?

It is now. I'm your Crulla.

I heard a lovely singer on the radio

who sang beautifully. And her name was Crulla.

â™Ș Stranger, what's that you're hiding â™Ș

â™Ș In those dark eyes of yours? â™Ș

‐You mean Carola? ‐Crulla, right.

Yes. So what do you do, Crulla?

I do nails. Look!

The hands say a lot about a person.

‐I'm embarrassed about mine. ‐I'm embarrassed too.

‐Come, let me fix them for you. ‐What, now?

I always bring my kit.

Come on.

Uh... Congratulations on your new girlfriend Knulla.

‐Crulla. ‐Right.

Yes, Crulla.

Commercials?

‐Peep‐bo! ‐[chuckles]

Having a little one must be a lot of work.

Absolutely. Yeah, good thing I'm not working. Right, baby?

Yes, baby, I could never do without you.

Yeah. Oh...

Oh, he just vomited. Here you go.

How's the driving license coming along?

Good, but it's a lot of work.

But Mom will manage. She can manage anything.

‐May I hold him? ‐Absolutely.

So you want to go to Uncle Dallas?

[indistinct conversation]

Wow! He would be a great dad!

‐Looking good! Looks good. ‐Thank you.

‐Hey. ‐Hey.

Ah... Looks good.

‐Thank you. ‐[moaning on video]

Look, uh... Karsten wants to start filming.

Oh. I see.

So the laundry‐man idea is suddenly brilliant? Is that it?

Look, we need this.

‐We? ‐I need this.

Uh‐huh. And me?

Co‐director?

Cinematographer?

Coffee girl?

I need you to be his camera operator.

Look, if you want to keep working here, please just...

make that left turn, Georgie. OK?

‐Bye. See you tomorrow! ‐Bye‐bye!

Oh... [speaking indistinctly]

[claps hands]

Showtime!

Do you want to come to Daddy?

Say bye‐bye to Mom.

Mommy loves you! And you too. Will you stay here?

I'll wait.

Bye, Dallas. See you later.

What? Did everybody leave?

I can see the washing machine as...

part of a virtual story.

‐Does it work? ‐I think so. Nuuk?

OK. OK.

Close‐up, centrifugation... The laundry is spinning.

Round, round, round...

Yeah.

The sound of it spinning... [imitates sound]

And inside the washing machine is a bright red light

contrasting with the surrounding darkness.

The rhythmic sound of the laundry spinning around,

inside the drum, round, round...

Just like the wheel of life.

Round and round...

Wille, you and Karsten got along fine, right?

Yeah, we worked well together.

So you felt disappointed when he quit?

Yeah. But he's got a new job now.

What can you do?

‐OK? ‐OK.

I need reaction shots of you both.

But I don't want just horniness. I want surprise.

And happiness.

[AÅke] Karsten is a bit of a snob.

He thinks he's better than the rest of you.

That's why he quit.

You were not good enough for him.

I mean, Karsten is a wily bastard.

He's with my daughter, you know.

Yeah... I don't trust him.

I fucking love it. You know, Karsten, you're a fucking genius!

Very good!

And this new job in Copenhagen...

Something's not right.

He's hiding something. He's not telling the truth.

Not to me, not to my daughter.

Wille, do you think you could find out the truth?

Against appropriate payment.

Would you do that?

Action!

â™Ș Just like a broken string on a kite â™Ș

â™Ș Are you ready to take a flight? â™Ș

â™Ș Oh, my God, this rain is wet â™Ș

â™Ș I'm in troublem... â™Ș

â™Ș We got troublem â™Ș

â™Ș Troublem â™Ș

â™Ș We got troublem â™Ș

[moaning]

â™Ș We got troublem â™Ș

â™Ș Troublem â™Ș

â™Ș We got troublem â™Ș

â™Ș All â™Ș

â™Ș Night long â™Ș

â™Ș We got troublem â™Ș

â™Ș Troublem â™Ș

â™Ș Troublem â™Ș

â™Ș Troublem â™Ș

â™Ș All â™Ș

â™Ș Night long â™Ș

â™Ș We got troublem â™Ș

â™Ș Troublem â™Ș

â™Ș Troublem â™Ș

â™Ș Troublem â™Ș

â™Ș Troublem â™Ș

â™Ș We got troublem â™Ș

â™Ș Troublem â™Ș

â™Ș We got troublem â™Ș

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