Original subtitles

- No, you shut up! Shut the hell up! - Okay, I am listening. What?

- What are you trying to say? - Good.

This is what I'm gonna tell you.

I can come to your house. To your neighbors' house.

- You cannot! - I could come to your parents' house

- and say you welched WOMAN: Oh, sir.

On your debt. You took out money and you're not paying it.

No, I paid every cent.

I can do that, it is not illegal for me to do that.

- It is illegal. - Know why it's not?

No, no, I don't think you understand, Maggie.

I do understand. I don't think that you...

I have your Social Security number, Maggie.

I have your email. I can ruin your life.

I paid my debts, I paid every single cent!

- You're making me angry. - See? They cashed it.

- I deal with liars all day. - What?

- I thought you weren't one of them. - I have paid you $8,900.

You have not, Maggie, and I'm gonna come to your house

and I'm gonna knock on your door. And then I'm gonna knock

- on your neighbor's door. - You can't do that.

Maggie, you took out a student loan and you didn't repay.

I can do anything I damn please!

- I can garnish your wages. - I already paid you, sir!

- I can call you at work! - I have paid.

- I already paid you! - Look, when you stop lying, Maggie,

and want to get serious, call extension 853, you got that?

- 853! - Look, I paid! I already p...

Until then, don't kill yourself, lady, by k...

By stepping in front of some train, okay?

- What? - Just pay your debts.

That was yesterday.

- That's why I called Lucca. - She wants to stop the harassment.

- May I? - Yeah. Maggie,

- this is Jason Crouse, our investigator. - Nice to meet you.

So, you know how much we charge?

Yeah, Lucca said $150 an hour.

It's worth it if you can make him stop calling.

- And this is APY Collections? - Yes. Bob Bondi.

I already complained to his manager

- and he won't do anything. - We bring suit.

Often that's enough to scare them off.

But sometimes these places can be a bit intransigent.

And we would have to prepare for court.

I don't have a lot of money. I mean, I'm still working temp jobs.

I should have gone to law school, like you.

Instead, I went to Colosseum. Worst educational experience ever.

- But I can pay you a bit every month. - Bob Bondi, please.

- Oh, you won't get him at work. - I'm not calling him at work.

Hi, is this Mrs. Bondi? Hi. I work with your husband,

do you mind getting him for me? Thank you.

Bob. Hey, how you doing? This is Jason.

No, I know you don't know me. Hold on.

Strangely enough, Bob,

- I know you. - Wait, wait, who...

You live at 1245 Rosalia Avenue, you have...

- Who's this? How do you know? - This is Jason Crouse.

I want you to focus. I know your Social Security number,

I know your address, I know your neighbors' names.

- How did you get this number? - Here's what I need.

- I need you go into work today... - I'm calling the police.

- I'm calling the police. - Okay. Go ahead.

We'll talk about your priors in California.

My priors? What are you talking about?

Background. I am talking about your background.

I'm sure your boss would be interested to know.

Neighbors might be too.

- Bob? - What do you want?

I want you to lay off of Maggie...

- Rossum. - Rossum. She paid her debt.

I am looking at a canceled check here that you guys cashed.

The account is settled, Bob.

I'll try to get this straightened out, but it's not up to me, you know that.

- Who's it up to, Bob? - My manager, Nelson Olstead.

- I only do what he says. - Okay. I'm gonna contact him.

Don't call Maggie again, Bob.

I know your number.

Wow.

I don't think it's over yet. I think they're gonna

just put someone else on her account.

- So show them her canceled check. - No.

My guess is APY is charging her twice.

That, or they're playing some shell game with her money.

- You can find out? - How many hours can I charge?

Four.

Okay. I will call you if it requires more.

So, our first case, good.

- A hundred and fifty dollars an hour? - I had to say something.

- What is our price? - Two hundred dollars an hour.

- On the next one. - I'd go higher than 200.

We need some working cash, Mom.

I know. I'm doing my best.

- A responsible governor. - What's that?

- I like Iowa. - Dad.

I'm here because it's the state neighboring my own.

This has nothing to do with running for president?

No, I'm saying that at the moment, I'm not running.

But I do want to talk about pensions. As a responsible governor,

I think we have to start the conversation

about setting limits and rolling back pensions.

Really? You're sounding like Marco Rubio.

I think we should stop sounding like a Democrat

or a Republican and start sounding like Americans.

That's what Americans want. I think that's what we need.

The partisanship that's going on in this election is killing us.

So did you have trouble getting your desk in here, Dad?

Mm-hm. Marissa, brightening up my day.

This has not been focus-grouped. This is simply what I believe.

But aren't you just playing back-of-the-pack politics?

Saying something controversial to get press coverage?

- Oh, my God. What a disaster. - Well, I would not characterize

this as talking wild. This is responsible fiscal accountability.

Look, the fact of the matter is is that unions have

far too much control in this country. They are strangling...

- Hey. - Dad, I love you,

- but this is an intervention. - Give me the remote.

Peter chose Ruth over you. You have to let it go.

What? This is my job.

This was your job. They fired you. What are you getting out of this?

I mean, besides this luxurious office?

- I'm looking after Alicia. - This isn't about Alicia.

- You're getting back at Peter. - Makes no sense.

I know. And that's why you need to leave. You watched his interview,

scoffing the whole way, but I don't see you going to tell him what he did wrong.

- He's not here. He's in Iowa. - Then call him.

Then let's go.

Dad, you'll get a new job. You're desirable.

- I've never been fired in my life. - I know. And it hurts.

I've been fired eight times. It doesn't get easier.

Come on.

Give me the remote.

Ruth Eastman devised the strategy

for that interview, and it makes Peter look like an idiot.

The press is gonna have a field day. I can't leave

when there's a chance that Peter will come to his senses

and realize Ruth is foisting a losing strategy on him.

- I love you. This is not healthy. - The remote, babe.

- Glad you came in. Please, sit. - Thank you, Mr. Erickson.

- Ronnie's fine. - Ronnie.

Well, I know you'll be mostly interfacing with Howard,

but as one of the three partners at Lockhart-Agos,

I just wanted to welcome you.

- Well, thank you. - And...

You've been with the Food Service Union

- for 33 years. - Food and Commercial Services.

Excuse me.

- Oh, I do have to take this. - No, please.

Did you tell Ronnie Erickson I went to prison?

Do you ever knock?

He's acting like I'm a crook. Did you tell?

If the guy doesn't take a shine to you...

that's your problem. You crossed a line.

You can't come barging in here and accuse me of truth-telling?

- You admit it. - Since when is truth-telling a crime?

- You want to talk... How about you... - I'll tell you the problem.

- You do zero. - I'm the guy who...

You sit around with your pants down!

Nelson Olstead. I'm the manager of APY Collections. Hello.

Thank you for meeting me. I'm with Avon-Isolade,

a debt brokerage out of Gary, Indiana.

- Wanna buy my bad debt? - There's no such thing

as bad debt. Just bad collectors.

Let me ask you something, broker to broker.

You ever double dip any of these?

No. There's enough real debt. We don't have to make it up.

Debt collecting might not be glamorous,

- but it's legit the way I do it. - What about your other offices?

- What about Michigan? - We don't have a Michigan office.

Then why do I have this canceled check out of Muskegon, Michigan?

I have no idea, but we don't have any offices there.

Thank you.

The address you sent your checks to, did it change recently?

- What do you mean? - This check, the most recent one.

How'd you know to send it to Michigan address?

- What's going on? - Your last check

was cashed at a Michigan bank. There are no APY offices there.

It was from a voice mail.

You still have it?

This is a courtesy message from APY Collections.

We're calling to let you know that the address

for remittance of your scheduled loan payments has changed.

- It's not Bondi. - Please send remittances

to 390 Deerhorn Park, Suite 777. Thank you.

- Wait, that wasn't APY? - That was a scam artist.

He either hacked into the APY network or he bought your records.

Collection agencies are wide open to abuse.

So her last payment was to the wrong person?

- Yes. - Oh, my God, I really do owe

- $8,000 to APY then, don't I? - Yeah, legally.

There's got to be something I can do. I can't pay it again.

- Can I make an argument here? - Yeah, sure. What's up?

The settlement you won for the Chagall painting...

your pay out was $4,000 for 20 hours of work.

- Right. - As opposed to $500,000

if it had been on contingency.

Yes, but the rules on contingency for probate are very strict.

It would've been almost the same as our hourly rate.

Oh. Well, I didn't know that. But on these other cases,

can't we start taking them on contingency?

Sure, but the cases that come through the door

are too small. We want the money up front.

Maybe we shouldn't be taking such small cases.

Look, I want bigger cases too, Grace,

but we need to win the small ones to get the big ones.

Is there any way to turn the smaller ones

into the bigger ones?

Well, I don't know how, but that sounds good.

I'm just worried about our bills.

I know. I am too, honey. But this is what starting out looks like.

What?

Could you get me everything you can on Colosseum University?

Sure. What's that?

It's a for-profit school.

It's about to be sold.

- Does that mean money? - It might.

Well, I'll get right on it.

- You admitted earlier. - Okay. Come on. Sit down.

Am I the only one who's upset? Is Howard Lyman what this firm is about?

You better watch it, buddy boy. I am this close to filing suit.

To sue, you'd have to know how.

There he goes, undercutting me with ageist comments.

- Oh, all right. - What?

- Can I have a word? - I am aggrieved, I tell you

I am aggrieved.

You have to stop with the ageist comments, Cary.

What?

Are you seriously siding with him?

You are not a member of a protected class.

- Howard is. - I want

- in-house mediation. - Howard, please.

- I've consulted an attorney. - Who, Alicia?

I know my rights pursuant to my partnership agreement.

And if you refuse, my only recourse is to sue.

We're gonna keep trying to get your money.

But it doesn't look good.

But there might be a way to cancel out your debt.

We've done some research on your university.

They've been subject

to dozens of complaints to the attorney general's office.

They're a for-profit school. They treat education like a product.

And based on what you've told us, it's a defective product.

You borrowed $46,000 for an education

- that didn't yield a job. - You want me to sue Colosseum?

We want you to let us sue Colosseum.

They're about to be acquired by a private equity firm out of Texas.

A lawsuit would have to be disclosed to the potential buyer,

and that could tank the deal.

- I can't afford a big lawsuit. - We know.

That's why we're going to take this on contingency.

You don't pay anything.

Our payment comes from the settlement.

What do you say, Mags?

- That's a nifty theory there. - It's not a theory. It's a fact.

Our client bought an education from you,

and it hasn't done what you said it would.

Where did you go to school, Mrs. Florrick?

- Georgetown. - Hmm.

Did they teach you to read there?

Excuse me?

Our enrollment agreement.

Your client signed one.

And paragraph 23 is the...

- An arbitration clause. - Oh, you can read.

It clearly states that any grievances must be settled

in arbitration and settled within 18 months of graduation.

Your client graduated 17 months ago,

so you do the math.

Where is she? Ruth!

Did you see this?

Well, who the hell is my constituency?

I mean, look at this. And this one.

- It's a nightmare. - It's not, governor.

Foot-in-mouth disease. That's what they're saying.

This is all part of a strategy.

Ruth, don't be ridiculous. This is a screw-up.

Calm down, sir.

- Everything is under control. - Don't be ridiculous.

- Everything all right? - I was gonna show you

this later, Mr. Governor. After I got more information.

I saw the interview in Iowa.

Would you like to discuss it?

- Is this real? - As real as anything, sir.

It's from our internals.

- Look, if there's any way I can help... - You're in second place.

- And climbing. - Wow.

You're not selling yourself to the press.

They won't embrace you, anyway. We're going right to the people.

Yes, you're saying controversial things.

Yes, it's the same strategy as the Republicans.

- But it's working, and you're winning. - Ruth, I am so sorry

- I flew off the handle. Terrific job. - Each day is an adventure.

Okay, now what's next?

What we're gonna do is keep pushing this anti-union message...

Good morning.

Let me start by saying that this is not a courtroom

and I am not a judge.

But in all ways, the decision here is final.

Arbitration takes the place of litigation.

Mediation does not replace litigation.

It is an attempt to settle differences amicably,

which is in the best interests of the firm

and in your own best interests, since you are partners in this firm.

Let's go around the table first, and...

please share your names and your most embarrassing experience.

That was a joke, people.

You have my permission to lighten up. Why don't we start to my right.

Lucca Quinn. Representing Maggie Rossum.

- Alicia Florrick. The same. - Carter Schmidt.

Representing Colosseum University.

Good. We got through that without an argument.

We're well on our way.

I'm Geoffrey Solomon. I'll be your spirit guide.

We will hear evidence and follow the admissibility rules

as determined by Rule 90 of the Illinois Supreme Court.

So, counselors, call your first witness.

- Why does he get to go first? - I'm doing it alphabetically.

Convenient.

Cary, what are your grievances? How are you aggrieved?

- He's embarrassing in front of clients. - That's code for "old."

And he sticks his nose where it doesn't belong.

That's code for "Jewish."

You teach at Colosseum in the dental hygienist program?

- Yes. - And what subject

- did you teach my client? - Periodontics.

- Are you a periodontist? - No. I'm a dental hygienist.

A licensed dental hygienist?

Well, I was. I may have let my certification lapse.

- When? - A couple years ago.

Thirteen years ago, actually.

You were never licensed in the state of Illinois...

I know this isn't court, but I don't think she can both ask and answer

- the questions. - Counselor.

How could my client have received an adequate education

- if you're not a licensed hygienist? - Because I'm a good teacher.

- All my students think so. - No further questions.

- Where were you licensed? - Ohio.

And dental anatomy doesn't change when you cross state lines, does it?

- I don't think so. - Okay.

- Nothing further. - Ms. Howe,

this is a final exam you gave my client last year.

Can you please read the first question?

"What does the phrenic nerve innervate?"

What's the answer to that?

- Objection, Your Honor. - No. We could all benefit

from that answer.

The exam was multiple choice,

and you've put a piece of tape over all the choices.

Right. Go ahead. Remove the tape. We'll wait.

What's the answer?

A.

No. Actually, it's D.

Geezer, gargoyle, old fart. Flaccido Domingo.

That one hurt especially, given my devotion to the opera.

And my sexual prowess.

And you would like this name-calling to stop?

I would. I've spent 30 years in this business.

I think I deserve a little respect.

- You have a minute? - Where are you going?

- Just a moment. - Objection.

You cannot have an ex parte conversation

in the middle of our trial.

You called Howard an old geezer.

- Okay. - I'm not the only one

guilty of a few indiscretions.

Cary, please. We're only going through this

to keep Howard from suing.

You sure you're not hanging me out to dry?

I want your ex parte communication noted for the record.

There is no record, Howard. We're just trying to clear the air.

I think we have accomplished that.

- I wanna call a witness. - You can't.

- This isn't a hearing. - I call Diane Lockhart to the stand.

Hello, Father.

I wanna run something by you, but I need your undivided attention.

I'm thinking of taking pole dancing classes.

- What do you think? - If it makes you happy, dear.

Do you know Eyal Naftali?

- Is that a club? - He's the chief of staff

to Israel's communications minister.

He wants to talk to you about running his campaign.

- His campaign for what? - The Knesset.

And, in a few years, prime minister.

- How do you know this? - I knew his daughter in the IDF.

Her dad contacted me.

I see what you're doing.

I'm giving you the chance to make an impact.

It's "have" an impact,

- "make" a difference. - You want Netanyahu out,

here's your chance. Mr. Naftali is offering you twice as much

- as you're making now. - How do you know what I make?

I'm a witch. Talk to him, Dad. What do you have to lose?

Eighty-two percent of Colosseum graduates

find employment within a year of graduation.

What employment?

- What do you mean? - You said, "82 percent

find employment within a year of graduating."

I'm just asking:

What kind of employment are we talking about here?

Professional employment? Fast food work?

- Temping, like Maggie? - Any employment.

How many work less than 15 hours a week?

- I have no idea. - We do. Thirty three percent.

How many work minimum wage jobs?

We run a high-risk, low-functioning population, miss.

Fifty-five percent. Why don't you put that in your brochure?

Let's not badger, shall we?

The reality is the vast majority of Colosseum students end up

worse off than before they started.

They wind up unemployable and saddled with massive debt.

Your Honor, do we need the speeches?

No, we don't. Counselor, is there a question here?

- Nothing further. - President Stenborg,

you make it sound like you don't care about the quality of the education.

- Is that true? - No. I care very much.

But I also care about running a successful business.

- You supply a service. - Yes.

Traditionally, higher education is a product

marketed only to the elite.

You're making it available to the masses?

Exactly.

If we didn't do it, these students would never get

into another institution.

Do you mislead prospective students?

No. We're not allowed to.

We're subject to the same laws every business must follow.

Our customers get exactly what they pay for, no more, no less.

Okay, I think we can all agree that Colosseum is not Harvard.

- That's not what we're claiming. - But you're focusing

on the ways in which Colosseum

doesn't measure up to traditional notions of higher education.

No, we're focusing on deceptive practices.

Then I'd suggest you stop presenting evidence

on Colosseum being inadequate,

and instead focus on the ways they actually lied

to their students.

Can I help you?

Yeah. I was actually hoping

to rent out these offices, if they're not occupied.

They're open. Last occupant just used it as a mail drop.

They took off a month ago. How much square footage are you looking for?

Like 800, but I'd love to take a look. Jason Crouse.

- I run a skip-tracer business. - Nice to meet you.

Harrison Strode. I manage this location.

A lot of people like the prestigious address.

Here we go.

Well, the size is right.

Would you mind getting those shades?

Sure. It's $600 a month, with utilities.

It's Wi-Fi ready, and the view is not bad.

Alicia, how's arbitration?

- Not good. You busy? - Never.

The arbiter needs some lies that Colosseum tells its students.

- Can you find something? - Sure. What's the timeline?

Tomorrow.

- All right. Let me see what I can do. - Great. Thanks.

Goodbye.

- Surprise! - Marissa!

Hey, what's up?

- It's been a while. - I know.

Your office looks amazing. I can't believe

- you did this all without me. - I thought you were in Israel.

I was. Designing purses. Really cool.

Leather and macramé.

But then I got worried my dad was having a nervous breakdown.

- About what? You being away? - No.

- Do you have any cereal? - Sure.

What was I saying?

- Your dad, you're worried about him. - He's having trouble letting go.

Running Peter's campaign was his life.

- Well, he's my chief of staff now. - I know. I heard.

But

- you disapprove? - No. I just, you know...

You're right, I don't approve.

- Why? - He's about to pass up

an opportunity to run a campaign in Israel...

A big campaign... Because of you.

Well, I never guilted Eli into anything. He wanted to stay.

I know. And that's why I'm hoping you'll fire him.

- Marissa. - That's the only way he'll move on.

Convince him you don't want him. I know it's hard on you.

Don't do it for you, do it for him.

Please fire him.

What are you looking to major in?

I was thinking dental hygiene.

Are you guys accredited with the ADA?

Well, I'll tell you the truth. Right now, we're not.

It's pending, but you don't want to be a dental hygienist.

I mean, come on, look at you, a guy like you?

You like cars? We got a great automotive tech program.

Yeah? How do your graduates do in the workforce?

Look, you know, I can show you the stats.

We got time. But do you wanna get some lunch?

You know, let me think about it.

- Thank you. - Wait, Ja...

Are you a vet?

Yeah. Why?

Because I'm about to make your day.

See, most of our students, they gotta come up

with at least ten percent of the tuition out of pocket.

But you get the golden ticket.

You got Federal loans, plus the G.I. Bill.

- Let me show you. - All right.

You got something.

- What? - Ninety-ten.

I have no idea what that is.

You need to call this recruitment officer.

- Randy Duffield. - What's his number?

No.

Call him as your next witness.

Mr. Duffield, can you please tell us about the 90-10 rule?

It is a Federal law that prohibits

for-profit colleges from receiving more than

90 percent of their revenues from student aid.

And where does the other ten percent come from?

From the students themselves. Their own private funds.

- But there's a loophole, isn't there? - I'm not sure what you mean.

Veterans. G.I. Bill and DoD tuition assistance.

That can be counted as private money on the ten-percent side.

I'm not sure where we're going with this.

Our client, Maggie Rossum, is a veteran.

So veterans can go to Colosseum for no money out of pocket.

Do you target veterans in order to take advantage of this 90-10 rule?

- No. - Really?

Did you receive this email

from Colosseum's head of recruitment last year?

It suggests that you lure veterans

from veteran hospitals and Wounded Warrior centers.

Objection as to "lure."

Sure. Find another word for "lure."

Persuade.

Isn't it a fact that you persuade poor, unqualified applicants

to take out loans they can't possibly repay?

That's just not true.

Nothing further.

Mr. Duffield, is Mrs. Florrick spinning your words?

- Yes. - You believe in what you do?

Look, our students, they may not be the best and the brightest...

I'm sorry to say that, but it's true. But it doesn't mean

- that they don't deserve a chance. - Thank you.

I'd like to call Maggie Rossum.

Did you or did you not, Ms. Lockhart, suggest that I catheterize myself

at a client meeting which took place

in this very room less than a week ago?

You were getting up to go to the bathroom

- every five minutes, Howard. - Yes or no?

Howard, we all make jokes, including you,

- about everyone at the firm. - I'll take that as a yes.

Cary gets made fun of for his youthful appearance.

Twerp, pimple, pre-schooler.

And we've all made fun of David Lee for... Well, you know.

I've heard you joke about

- the pole stuck about Diane's ass. - Excuse me?

No. Come on, that's different.

- How is that different? - I'm not talking about

harmless ribbing.

People pour prune juice in my coffee.

They leave adult diapers in my office.

- Oh, come on, Howard. - What? They do.

No one is leaving adult diapers in your office, Howard.

I think he wants us to follow him.

"Property of Howard Lyman."

And here's a...

A bib.

And a catheter.

- I had nothing to do with that. - But you're creating the climate.

Well, it's a diaper, Howard, it's not a burning swastika.

These young associates, they look up to you.

They follow your cues, and this is what they do.

They harass me. They humiliate me.

Howard, I am so sorry.

And I want you to know we are gonna take meaningful steps

to correct this ageist culture that we may have unwittingly fostered.

Would you consider yourself a good student, Ms. Rossum?

I don't know. I...

- I did my best. - Good.

That's all any of us can hope for. Doing our best.

Now, in order to do your best, you would need to show up

for classes, right? Would you agree to that?

- That depends. - It does?

You can be a good student even if you don't show up for class?

- I would object to that, Mr. Solomon. - I understand why, but no.

I think that you can be a good student in a lot of ways.

I understand why you would say that.

According to your attendance records, you missed two-thirds of your classes.

Do you think that's accurate, or do you think it's wrong?

I had to work a lot to pay my bills.

What about books, the ones assigned for class?

- Did you buy any? - Did I buy any textbooks?

No, but I...

So aside from tuition, what did you spend all that loan money on?

They told me I could use that money for living expenses.

Living expenses incurred while you weren't

buying books or attending classes.

Looks more like a defective user than a defective product.

- Objection! - Objection!

He made it sound really bad.

That's because it is really bad, Maggie.

The credit card interest was eating me alive.

Paying off that card seemed like the smart thing to do. I...

- And it wasn't illegal. - Well, maybe not.

- But it doesn't look good. - Did I miss classes? Yes.

But that's because I was working two jobs.

I always got notes when I couldn't make it.

- What about the books? - We'd get PDF versions,

print them out, pass them around. I mean...

We all tried to make the best of it, we really did.

- Who's "we"? - My study group.

We'd just kind of share horror stories, you know, job tips, that kind of thing.

How many students?

Look, we just need to enumerate ways Colosseum lied to you.

We just need to wait.

I see you're running an adult day care now.

- You wanted to talk? - Yes.

I'll get right to the point, Eli. I just don't trust you anymore.

I need to be working with someone different.

Someone who gets along with Ruth, who has her confidence.

- Did Marissa talk to you? - No.

Eli. You have an ulterior motive here and you know it. You are using me.

Yes, but you're using me too.

I keep Ruth from messing with your life.

Well, I can do that on my own. No, Eli.

I really appreciate everything you've done for me,

but now, we need to part ways.

You're serious?

Yes.

We both need a fresh start.

I know it won't be easy,

but it's time.

Good-bye, Eli.

No, I agree. I think maybe a class action makes sense.

I'm not sure if we have the wherewithal...

Actually, a class action isn't possible here.

Why is that?

The enrollment agreement you signed.

When you registered at Colosseum,

you signed a document saying you wouldn't sue the school.

- I signed a hundred pieces of paper. - Are you serious?

We can really sign away our rights?

Unfortunately, yeah. Legally, you can.

So the school can screw all of us,

and then trick us into not doing anything about it?

A class action suit isn't possible, but a debt strike is.

It's already happening at another for-profit.

Corinthian College.

This is a list of 350 Colosseum graduates

who are ready to default collectively and suffer the consequences,

unless you intervene with the Department of Education

and the loan companies to settle their debts.

- Really? Getting desperate, are we? - It's a debt strike.

Let's see how that will play with your resale value.

Or you can settle.

We're listening.

Okay, now I need everyone to take the cotton balls in front of you.

Pick one up, please. Just one.

Okay, now insert it into your right nostril, please.

Good and tight.

Okay, now take the cardboard glasses.

Look at him. He's enjoying himself.

They're coated with a diffused filter.

And put them over your eyes, please.

Now take the kernels of corn.

A handful will do.

And put them in each shoe.

Come on. Sensitivity training. Let's be sensitive.

You know what? I think Howard planted those diapers,

so we would have to do this.

- Here we go. - Good.

Now I want everyone to walk.

And do something simple like tie your shoes. Go.

Ow.

It hurts.

This is what it's like to be 80 years old.

This is what it's like to walk.

Isn't that right, Howard?

Sometimes every day is a struggle.

I'm sorry I take naps, but now you know why.

All day it hurts.

I think Howard could use all of your support right now.

This is not happening.

I think unions do have a place. But if we're gonna stay competitive

in a global economy, then, I think we have to look

beyond the standard management-labor paradigm.

Excuse me, guys.

Then you agree with your husband, Mrs. Florrick?

I do. I think creative solutions are essential.

- So you're against unions? - No.

But I support my husband when he says

he's looking for new ways to avoid strikes.

Then what do you think of your wife's debt strike, Mr. Governor?

Mr. Governor, I think we have to get into the ballroom.

You don't. Your wife is organizing a debt strike

at Colosseum University.

- Well, I support my wife. - Even though she's unionizing?

- I would rather look at the facts... - You are organizing a strike,

aren't you, Mrs. Florrick?

Unfortunately, attorney-client privilege prevents me from saying...

- We've had enough. - Okay for your wife to strike,

but not my union?

You gave Alicia the debt-strike idea, didn't you?

Peter told me to keep a handle on the family, and we've got Alicia

stirring up trouble on an issue that's no-win for the campaign!

- It's not no-win. - Peter can't be saying:

"Vote for me" in one breath, and "Don't worry

about paying back the government" in the next.

Oh. You're right. I didn't think of that. I guess he won't choose between

alienating the unions or business interests, either.

- You're killing Peter's campaign! - No, I'm not.

I'm not running Peter's campaign.

Mr. Naftali, Eli Gold. Oh, I'm so sorry.

I didn't realize it was so late with you there.

I've given your offer a lot of thought, and as tempting as it is,

I'm gonna stay put.

- Molly Tuff? - Yes?

Colosseum class of 2013?

Yeah. Who are you?

I think this is yours.

It's your payment on your student loan.

- How'd you get it? - From the person who scammed you.

I'm a private investigator. I have a client who fell for the same scam.

Sent her payment to that address too.

I can't believe you got it back. I never have luck like this.

- Oh, my God. - What?

They just called yesterday with a new address.

Can I get that address from you?

Hello, jackass.

- Eli. Hi. - I'm staying on.

Okay. Sounds good.

Mrs. Florrick, I apologize if I'm interrupting.

- What do you need, Mr. Schmidt? - Just to deliver this.

Colosseum is suing you and Lucca Quinn

for tortious interference with contract.

A judge will probably knock this down.

I don't think so. There's an argument that we crossed a line

when we encouraged students not to pay back their debt.

We escalated, so, they escalated further, and now we need to...

- Keep going. - No, I was gonna say deescalate.

Lucca's right.

The debt strike is working. Colosseum stock is falling.

Colosseum has not been willing to back down so far.

Not to us. But what if it was someone they cared about even more,

that was applying the pressure?

You don't happen to know anything about this shareholder derivative suit

- that's been filed against us, do you? - Absolutely not,

but if I had to guess, I'd say the theory is

that Colosseum's predatory recruitment tactics

are a violation of the school's fiduciary duty towards its shareholders.

- Am I right? - Uncanny.

Just to recap, you're facing a debt strike

which is destroying your not-very-good name,

a shareholder suit which could bankrupt you in court,

and if either continues,

the Feds are going to investigate and revoke

your eligibility to receive funding.

What do you want?

Hi.

I'm sorry to bother you so late.

I just wanted to drop something off.

- What is it? - Belongs to Maggie.

- Her $8,000? - Yeah.

- From the scammer? - Yeah.

- How did you do that? - I persuaded him.

- How? - By being persuasive.

You're not gonna tell me, are you?

I will tell you whatever you wanna know.

Oh.

I get to the end of the day, I'm so tired, sometimes,

- I can't think straight. - That is why I drink.

What do you drink?