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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,929 % My dreams are all dead and buried % 2 00:00:11,639 --> 00:00:15,803 % Sometimes l wish the sun would just explode % 3 00:00:16,944 --> 00:00:20,937 % When God comes and calls me to His kingdom % 4 00:00:21,749 --> 00:00:25,480 % l'll take all you sons of bitches when l go % 5 00:00:29,156 --> 00:00:30,589 - My turn. - Hell, no. 6 00:00:30,624 --> 00:00:33,787 - Man, let me drive that thing. Come on! - Do not touch the trim! 7 00:00:49,343 --> 00:00:52,312 Smells like dang eggs or somethin'. 8 00:00:52,346 --> 00:00:54,871 May l speak with you for a minute? 9 00:00:54,915 --> 00:00:57,213 This flatulence is off the charts... 10 00:00:57,251 --> 00:01:00,812 and we don't even know where the gas is coming from. 11 00:01:00,854 --> 00:01:03,618 Her dementia is getting so bad, she's blaming it on me. 12 00:01:03,657 --> 00:01:06,990 What? Doctor, why are you doing this? 13 00:01:07,027 --> 00:01:09,018 - Sorry, Mrs. Cuyler. - Hey, doctor. 14 00:01:09,063 --> 00:01:11,088 - l'm sorry. - Doctor, be a professional. 15 00:01:11,131 --> 00:01:13,497 - Come on now. - This is very serious. 16 00:01:13,534 --> 00:01:17,402 She's gaining and losing weight at an impossible pace. 17 00:01:17,438 --> 00:01:20,066 This is just water retention. 18 00:01:20,107 --> 00:01:21,972 This can only mean one thing. 19 00:01:22,009 --> 00:01:24,273 She needs a new gall...glabber. 20 00:01:24,778 --> 00:01:26,507 Mambler. 21 00:01:26,547 --> 00:01:30,108 l mean, don't you think so? You just blinked as l said that, do you...? 22 00:01:30,150 --> 00:01:31,583 What you telling me is... 23 00:01:31,618 --> 00:01:36,146 we gonna probably have to call on Jesus to use His heavenly powers to heal her? 24 00:01:36,190 --> 00:01:39,250 l'm saying that l need to cut her open with tools... 25 00:01:39,293 --> 00:01:41,989 and give her a new gall...glab...glabber. 26 00:01:42,896 --> 00:01:44,523 Smasher. 27 00:01:44,565 --> 00:01:47,830 Jesus, Lord, l humbly ask... 28 00:01:47,868 --> 00:01:54,068 that you drive the demons from this wrinkly, and undesirable body. 29 00:01:54,108 --> 00:01:55,507 l feel you, Lord. 30 00:01:55,542 --> 00:02:00,445 l command you, Satan, be gone! 31 00:02:01,782 --> 00:02:06,412 - Son of a... - Now walk to me. 32 00:02:09,289 --> 00:02:12,258 The bunions have been exorcised! 33 00:02:12,292 --> 00:02:15,352 - All right, Granny! - l'm bunion free, Jesus. 34 00:02:15,395 --> 00:02:17,989 But them bunions was fine. Hell, they looked good. 35 00:02:18,031 --> 00:02:21,694 The damn gall bladder's what turned on her. Fix the damn gall bladder. 36 00:02:21,735 --> 00:02:24,568 Well, l'm really more of a foot specialist. 37 00:02:24,605 --> 00:02:28,336 - l'd help you if l could. - This one here is gonna help. 38 00:02:28,375 --> 00:02:32,106 Now whip out that damn gall bladder or we'll scrape the sumbitch off the wall. 39 00:02:32,146 --> 00:02:33,909 He's not a blood relative, is he? 40 00:02:33,947 --> 00:02:36,245 Lord, no! You're an insane man! 41 00:02:37,551 --> 00:02:40,816 l'm afraid you need a gall bladder from your own family. 42 00:02:40,854 --> 00:02:44,517 Well, why didn't you say so? Hell, we got a gall bladder right here... 43 00:02:44,558 --> 00:02:46,492 encased inside this bitch. 44 00:02:47,027 --> 00:02:50,656 She's filled with smoke. Check it out. 45 00:02:51,665 --> 00:02:54,566 The blood that we did find is riddled with hepatitis D... 46 00:02:54,601 --> 00:02:57,035 which l didn't even know existed. 47 00:02:57,070 --> 00:02:59,664 That...l don't know what that is. 48 00:03:00,073 --> 00:03:03,440 So you saying we gonna probably have to call... 49 00:03:03,477 --> 00:03:06,105 on Jesus to use his heavenly powers... 50 00:03:06,146 --> 00:03:08,706 l'm saying we might need a different donor. 51 00:03:11,585 --> 00:03:14,611 You're in fairly good shape. Why don't you... 52 00:03:14,655 --> 00:03:18,386 So you are gay and you wantin' to sleep with me and date me? 53 00:03:18,425 --> 00:03:19,619 - ls that it? - l did... 54 00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:20,854 Don't you be gayanatin' him. 55 00:03:20,894 --> 00:03:23,294 You trying to transmogrify me into one of y'alls? 56 00:03:23,330 --> 00:03:25,696 - l just did... - Hell, no. l ain't that way. 57 00:03:25,732 --> 00:03:28,394 l do not want to date you, sir. 58 00:03:28,435 --> 00:03:30,903 So you sayin' you just want the sex. 59 00:03:30,938 --> 00:03:36,274 l'm saying that you may be the perfect donor for your... 60 00:03:36,310 --> 00:03:39,279 Moth-- Grand-- 61 00:03:39,313 --> 00:03:41,304 That old bat? 62 00:03:42,783 --> 00:03:44,876 She is so special to me. 63 00:03:45,652 --> 00:03:48,917 She is the very glue that holds this here family together. 64 00:03:49,690 --> 00:03:51,214 We'd be lost without her. 65 00:03:52,626 --> 00:03:55,094 Then again, l am busy. 66 00:03:55,128 --> 00:03:57,255 See, l'm a-fabricatin' me a whistle. 67 00:04:01,001 --> 00:04:02,059 lt don't work yet. 68 00:04:02,102 --> 00:04:04,195 Daddy, we are gonna save Granny's life, ain't we? 69 00:04:04,238 --> 00:04:08,038 We? Who's we? You got yourself a gall bladder, don't you, big man? 70 00:04:08,075 --> 00:04:10,441 - Who, me? - lt doesn't really matter. 71 00:04:10,477 --> 00:04:15,141 See, you don't have insurance, and the cost of a gall bladder-oscomy is... 72 00:04:15,182 --> 00:04:19,983 cost is... big mans have strong money. 73 00:04:22,489 --> 00:04:25,219 Granny needs us, Daddy. We got to find the money. 74 00:04:25,259 --> 00:04:28,524 You're right, son but that's gonna take a lot of work... 75 00:04:28,562 --> 00:04:30,621 and we gonna need us a lot of help. 76 00:04:36,003 --> 00:04:39,131 Get the hell off! Get your ass away from my scooter. 77 00:04:39,172 --> 00:04:43,541 - l ain't pickin' up. Hell, l'm droppin' off. - Don't leave me, Early. l'm ill. 78 00:04:43,577 --> 00:04:45,841 Now, Granny, how do you expect to get better... 79 00:04:45,879 --> 00:04:48,973 if you don't get out here and work your ass off to make the money check... 80 00:04:49,016 --> 00:04:51,951 to get the pay to pay for operation to make you better? 81 00:04:53,253 --> 00:04:57,087 - Did you just hear a pop? - Me? 82 00:04:57,124 --> 00:05:00,992 Now don't you hop that saggy ass home unless you bringin' Ben Franklin with you. 83 00:05:02,229 --> 00:05:03,856 l need me some money! 84 00:05:05,766 --> 00:05:07,461 Hola muchachos. 85 00:05:17,077 --> 00:05:19,170 Por favor/ 86 00:05:29,790 --> 00:05:32,350 Easy, muchachos. You're bending my walker. 87 00:05:32,392 --> 00:05:33,882 My spine! 88 00:05:33,961 --> 00:05:38,159 - Well, hell, you said family. - l said blood relatives. 89 00:05:38,198 --> 00:05:39,893 Damn it. Back her out. 90 00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:43,060 When's Molly Hatchet come on? 91 00:05:43,103 --> 00:05:45,594 Why, so you can bed down with the rhythm section again? 92 00:05:45,639 --> 00:05:48,631 Get her out of here Terry! Take her from my sight! 93 00:05:48,675 --> 00:05:52,543 l knew you couldn't afford the Molly Hatchet tickets. 94 00:05:52,579 --> 00:05:54,638 - Asshole. - You better watch that mouth, girl. 95 00:05:55,482 --> 00:05:58,508 Be careful, Terry. You carry my heart. 96 00:05:58,552 --> 00:06:01,077 l woke up in North Korea... 97 00:06:01,121 --> 00:06:05,615 some little fella trying to grind my head into a powder. 98 00:06:05,659 --> 00:06:09,891 Said rubbing it on himself would help him get it up. 99 00:06:09,930 --> 00:06:14,230 - Said it in Korean, of course. - That's terrible. 100 00:06:14,267 --> 00:06:17,236 Terrible job you've done on that crown molding. 101 00:06:17,270 --> 00:06:19,636 ls that even mandarin sunrise? 102 00:06:19,673 --> 00:06:25,111 No. My pancreas exploded. l told you l needed to rest. 103 00:06:25,145 --> 00:06:30,515 Yeah, l'm afraid no Coca-Cola unless you redo that work. 104 00:06:31,518 --> 00:06:33,816 l don't want the textured look. No texture. 105 00:06:33,854 --> 00:06:36,550 Spool me out eight linear feet of that there jerky rope. 106 00:06:36,623 --> 00:06:39,751 Ain't that there supposed to be for the operation... 107 00:06:39,793 --> 00:06:41,488 for your ma or your grandma? 108 00:06:41,561 --> 00:06:45,520 OK, all right. Well, then l suppose l'll have me a box of them 1 2-gauge. 109 00:06:45,565 --> 00:06:46,827 No, no. 110 00:06:46,867 --> 00:06:49,563 - The hollow points. - You can use the surgery money. 111 00:06:49,603 --> 00:06:51,594 Whatever's best for your family. 112 00:06:51,638 --> 00:06:54,072 l'm gonna go with teriyaki. 113 00:06:55,742 --> 00:06:58,302 Are you sure you got enough money? Yeah, l think you do. 114 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:03,147 Well, Lord, looks like it's time. 115 00:07:03,183 --> 00:07:07,517 l'm gonna settle in and spend all of eternity... 116 00:07:07,554 --> 00:07:11,285 - ...just sittin' at your right hand... - Yes, so... 117 00:07:11,324 --> 00:07:13,792 ...tellin' you all about that one show l seen. 118 00:07:13,827 --> 00:07:16,591 - Yeah, so... - She's The Sheriff. 119 00:07:16,630 --> 00:07:19,565 - Maybe l'll take... - She really was the sheriff. 120 00:07:19,599 --> 00:07:23,797 One time, she got herself locked in jail. 121 00:07:31,044 --> 00:07:35,140 You think your daddy's seen that one? l bet he ain't, but l'll tell him all about... 122 00:07:35,182 --> 00:07:37,650 How much exactly do you need for this operation? 123 00:07:37,684 --> 00:07:40,983 lt don't matter. There ain't no way we can afford it. 124 00:07:41,588 --> 00:07:44,148 Look at your waffle. What is that? 125 00:07:44,191 --> 00:07:46,625 - That's awful. - And it's crying blood. 126 00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:49,390 - Can you believe it? - Big whoop. 127 00:07:49,429 --> 00:07:52,023 That's probably worth something on the internet. 128 00:07:52,065 --> 00:07:54,226 - Want to sell that? - Well, it's still a waffle. 129 00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:55,962 What if l post it right now? 130 00:07:56,002 --> 00:07:58,698 - Keep your hands off my waffle! - You can get $200, Granny. 131 00:07:58,738 --> 00:08:01,400 - l don't care who's your daddy is. - Granny. 132 00:08:01,441 --> 00:08:05,343 You're a thief in my eyes. How dare you take a waffle from a sick woman. 133 00:08:05,378 --> 00:08:06,402 Granny! 134 00:08:06,446 --> 00:08:10,473 Bug! Don't hurt me. God, l didn't tell nobody about you... 135 00:08:10,517 --> 00:08:13,850 Granny, it's gonna be all right. We're gonna get you that new gall bladder. 136 00:08:13,887 --> 00:08:17,323 But l didn't mean to flush you down the toilet all those years ago. 137 00:08:17,357 --> 00:08:19,484 You did... you did what? 138 00:08:21,661 --> 00:08:24,459 How's... So you're a doctor, huh? 139 00:08:25,232 --> 00:08:27,564 You were always my favorite. 140 00:08:33,073 --> 00:08:35,405 - What you want? - Mr. Cuyler? Great news. 141 00:08:35,442 --> 00:08:37,342 A donor has stepped forward. 142 00:08:38,712 --> 00:08:42,148 Turns out there's another squid in the valley. 143 00:08:42,182 --> 00:08:44,707 You heard me, right? Perfect match. 144 00:08:44,751 --> 00:08:48,152 He's a squid from your family. 145 00:08:49,156 --> 00:08:51,681 You don't want to know who this guy is? 146 00:08:51,725 --> 00:08:54,592 Yeah, we ain't got no money so we'll see you later, then. 147 00:08:54,628 --> 00:08:56,186 - Half price. - What's that? 148 00:08:56,229 --> 00:08:57,253 Tell him half price. 149 00:08:57,297 --> 00:09:01,131 Yes. Also, we will do the surgery for half price, which... 150 00:09:02,736 --> 00:09:04,226 pisses me off. 151 00:09:07,374 --> 00:09:09,035 Mr. Cuyler? 152 00:09:10,143 --> 00:09:12,509 Daddy, is Granny gonna die? 153 00:09:12,546 --> 00:09:17,848 Son, there's a time to plant and a time to plow. 154 00:09:17,884 --> 00:09:20,250 Now, you bring me the good book. 155 00:09:20,287 --> 00:09:23,017 The phone book. We gonna call us up some bitches. 156 00:09:23,056 --> 00:09:25,616 Can't you go to your rich boss and axe him for the money? 157 00:09:25,659 --> 00:09:29,459 Rusty, that old woman is in the hospital a-dyin'! 158 00:09:29,496 --> 00:09:31,862 And you want me to kill my damn pride, too? 159 00:09:31,898 --> 00:09:33,263 Hell, no! l refuse! 160 00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:35,928 Come on, Daddy. Please, Daddy. She's all we got left. 161 00:09:35,969 --> 00:09:39,268 You know, till Aunt Lil wakes up over there. 162 00:09:39,306 --> 00:09:43,402 Goodness, Early, no wonder your work's dropped off so much. 163 00:09:43,443 --> 00:09:46,844 And l can't help but notice the drinking... 164 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,006 and the fighting. 165 00:09:48,048 --> 00:09:51,040 And l assaulted that landscaping crew, too...sexually. 166 00:09:51,084 --> 00:09:53,644 Yes, l recall the litigation. 167 00:09:53,687 --> 00:09:56,417 Early, of course l'll pay for the operation. 168 00:09:56,456 --> 00:09:57,821 - You will? - Of course. 169 00:09:57,857 --> 00:09:59,586 Hot damn! You a sumbitchin' angel! 170 00:09:59,626 --> 00:10:01,355 Question. 171 00:10:01,394 --> 00:10:05,592 Can we do some other things to her? 172 00:10:05,632 --> 00:10:10,069 What we've done is implanted a small computer in her head... 173 00:10:10,103 --> 00:10:13,869 that sends electrical impulses to her brain. 174 00:10:13,907 --> 00:10:16,705 Hopefully, this will help her with her smoking problem. 175 00:10:16,743 --> 00:10:18,370 But she don't smoke none. 176 00:10:18,411 --> 00:10:23,246 Yes, well, this will reduce her need to not smoke. 177 00:10:23,283 --> 00:10:26,081 These delicious Dan Halen High Tar Slims. 178 00:10:26,119 --> 00:10:28,178 - Smoke now! - Gimme those! 179 00:10:30,056 --> 00:10:32,923 That's the stuff. 180 00:10:33,026 --> 00:10:35,392 Y'all fixed her gall bladder, right? 181 00:10:35,428 --> 00:10:38,727 Yes, we've done... We're going to shortly. ln that, you know... 182 00:10:38,765 --> 00:10:39,925 What have we got here? 183 00:10:39,966 --> 00:10:43,094 That's a free satin totebag. lt comes with the operation. 184 00:10:43,136 --> 00:10:45,263 Wait a minute. Free satin tote? 185 00:10:45,305 --> 00:10:48,433 Yes, for...the nausea. 186 00:10:48,508 --> 00:10:50,305 But free satin tote, right? 187 00:10:50,343 --> 00:10:52,709 - For the nausea. - Give me a light. 188 00:10:53,413 --> 00:10:55,745 But...but...but free satin tote. 189 00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:58,078 For the nausea. 190 00:10:58,118 --> 00:11:01,485 - Free satin tote! - For the nausea! 191 00:11:02,555 --> 00:11:04,887 Smoke now! 192 00:11:05,392 --> 00:11:07,690 Smoke now! 193 00:11:07,727 --> 00:11:10,287 Hey y'all! Anybody got any cigarettes? 194 00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:12,560 Yeah, l smoked all the ones in town. 195 00:11:12,599 --> 00:11:15,295 - Smoke now! - l need three more! 196 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:25,000 Subtitles by BloodLogic 197 00:11:28,348 --> 00:11:29,372 Not worth it. 198 00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:33,972 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 16060

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