All language subtitles for Squidbillies s02e08 Asses to Ashes, Sluts to Dust.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,929 % My oldest son was born an albino % 2 00:00:11,639 --> 00:00:14,938 % My youngest is covered in hair % 3 00:00:16,944 --> 00:00:20,937 % The middle one says he's a homosexual % 4 00:00:22,383 --> 00:00:25,511 % The other seven are gone, l don't know where % 5 00:00:25,553 --> 00:00:27,783 % and l don't care % 6 00:00:27,822 --> 00:00:29,289 % l just don't care % 7 00:00:29,356 --> 00:00:30,584 - My turn. - Hell, no. 8 00:00:30,624 --> 00:00:33,787 - Man, let me drive that thing. Come on! - Do not touch the trim! 9 00:00:36,063 --> 00:00:40,727 And this taco-muncher says, ''Oh, please don't fire me, mang.'' 10 00:00:41,969 --> 00:00:42,958 Mang. 11 00:00:43,003 --> 00:00:46,268 Hell, l don't know how you spell ''man'' in ol' Mexico... 12 00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:49,140 but in America, the ''G'' is silent. 13 00:00:49,176 --> 00:00:51,201 ''G'' is silent. 14 00:00:51,245 --> 00:00:53,406 Just like my ideal woman. 15 00:00:54,181 --> 00:00:55,944 He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. 16 00:00:55,983 --> 00:00:57,746 Do it to it. 17 00:00:59,220 --> 00:01:00,244 Plumber Bubba. 18 00:01:00,287 --> 00:01:03,279 - You ever hear his tape? - Uh, Daddy, that's this tape. 19 00:01:03,324 --> 00:01:06,020 Shut up, now, boy. l'm tryin' to hear my tape. 20 00:01:08,662 --> 00:01:10,687 - Tape's over. - Flip it again. 21 00:01:10,731 --> 00:01:12,699 Hell, yeah! We gonna flip it again. 22 00:01:12,733 --> 00:01:16,191 Ain't you gonna see the same dumbass jokes live tonight? 23 00:01:16,237 --> 00:01:19,206 Tonight? Plumber Bubba? ls he in town tonight? 24 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,073 He's going to blow the roof off the First Baptist. 25 00:01:22,109 --> 00:01:24,509 - Do it to it, baby. - Daddy, can l go? Daddy, l wanna go. 26 00:01:24,545 --> 00:01:26,513 - Can l go? - l don't know, son. 27 00:01:27,248 --> 00:01:29,113 This here is mature material. 28 00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:31,482 Translation: That there is froggy talk for... 29 00:01:31,519 --> 00:01:34,283 ''Come on in, Nazis. Help yourself to the cheese.'' 30 00:01:34,321 --> 00:01:36,881 He skewered the French. 31 00:01:36,924 --> 00:01:38,858 Daddy, come on, now. l can handle it. 32 00:01:40,161 --> 00:01:43,255 - All right, then. You coming. - Hell, yeah! 33 00:01:43,297 --> 00:01:45,629 - Here's Granny's ticket. - No! 34 00:01:45,666 --> 00:01:47,600 My decision is final. 35 00:01:47,635 --> 00:01:50,968 Unless y'all want to fistificuff for my amusement. 36 00:01:51,005 --> 00:01:54,839 Y'all don't want none o' this, let me tell you, Granny. 37 00:01:54,875 --> 00:01:58,003 l guess l'll just listen to the tape again. 38 00:01:58,045 --> 00:01:59,740 The tape comes with me. 39 00:01:59,780 --> 00:02:01,714 Early. Early? 40 00:02:10,791 --> 00:02:13,351 Sheriff. You all right? 41 00:02:14,495 --> 00:02:15,792 Couldn't be better. 42 00:02:15,830 --> 00:02:18,025 Well, you all duct-taped to a chair and all that. 43 00:02:18,065 --> 00:02:19,362 This is my ejector seat. 44 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,563 l had a little plane crash, but ain't no biggie, you know. 45 00:02:22,603 --> 00:02:24,594 - We'll see you later. - Get his bill fold. 46 00:02:24,638 --> 00:02:27,698 - All right, then. - No, no, no, stop. lt's contagious. 47 00:02:27,741 --> 00:02:30,175 lt is? What is? 48 00:02:30,211 --> 00:02:32,577 Plane crashes. See you later, now. 49 00:02:33,380 --> 00:02:36,406 How come your lips ain't jibber-wiggling when the sound came out? 50 00:02:36,450 --> 00:02:38,975 l had botox this morning. See you later, now. 51 00:02:39,019 --> 00:02:41,010 But what about that rope around your neck? 52 00:02:41,055 --> 00:02:42,716 - New tie. You like it? - Yeah, but... 53 00:02:42,756 --> 00:02:45,190 - Don't be a stranger, now. See ya. - Come on Rusty. 54 00:02:45,226 --> 00:02:47,421 - Plane crashes is intagious. - Wait a minute. 55 00:02:47,461 --> 00:02:50,021 Are y'all going to that Plumber Bubba show tonight? 56 00:02:50,064 --> 00:02:52,999 - Well, hell, yeah. We gonna do it to it. - Do it to it. 57 00:02:54,802 --> 00:02:57,737 Boy, l'll tell you. l love his observations about things... 58 00:02:57,771 --> 00:02:59,898 that don't really happen down here. 59 00:03:01,308 --> 00:03:05,074 - Y'all do it to it, now. - Are you sure you don't need no help? 60 00:03:05,112 --> 00:03:08,172 No, no. l'm just going to sit here and rest a spell. 61 00:03:08,215 --> 00:03:11,184 Maybe beat my own brains out with a hammer. 62 00:03:11,785 --> 00:03:13,980 Because l cannot behave, can l? 63 00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:17,185 You're gonna pay for this tonight, by God. 64 00:03:18,626 --> 00:03:20,218 Howdy. So, anyways... 65 00:03:20,261 --> 00:03:22,695 l tell my Hummerzine pilot to drive me... 66 00:03:22,730 --> 00:03:25,528 over yonder down to my vineyard in Nantucket... 67 00:03:25,566 --> 00:03:28,501 for my new Zeppelin launch, and he come back at me going... 68 00:03:28,535 --> 00:03:31,026 ''A-dicka-dicka-globba- gobba-ding-dong.'' 69 00:03:31,071 --> 00:03:33,699 l said, ''Where are you from, boy?'' 70 00:03:33,741 --> 00:03:36,266 He said, ''Dubai.'' Dubai? 71 00:03:36,310 --> 00:03:39,177 Well, then, do-buy yourself a plane ticket back there... 72 00:03:39,213 --> 00:03:40,840 you towel-totin' camel-kicker. 73 00:03:42,316 --> 00:03:45,513 l later come to learn that Dicka-globba-ding-dong... 74 00:03:45,552 --> 00:03:49,682 was over here just gettin' away from the oppression of his homeland. 75 00:03:49,723 --> 00:03:53,022 So l turned to him, l says, ''You're free now, my friend. 76 00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:56,655 ''Free to get that cow pie off the bottom of my wrestlin' boots. 77 00:03:56,697 --> 00:04:00,030 ''Grab yourself a popsicle stick. Scrape it out. You on the clock.'' 78 00:04:01,135 --> 00:04:03,069 l liked to wanna shove my cloven... 79 00:04:03,103 --> 00:04:06,038 reptilian hook-foot up his biphibious anal pore. 80 00:04:10,177 --> 00:04:12,236 Y'all hear me out there? 81 00:04:12,279 --> 00:04:14,144 We have a sound issue. ls this on? 82 00:04:14,181 --> 00:04:17,241 - Damn it. He's bombing. - Reptilian hook-foot? 83 00:04:17,284 --> 00:04:19,548 - Hell, that ain't funny. - That ain't funny. 84 00:04:19,586 --> 00:04:21,383 Drop the vice grips, jackass! 85 00:04:22,289 --> 00:04:25,747 Yeah. l got in. Vice grips! 86 00:04:25,793 --> 00:04:26,851 Vice grips! 87 00:04:26,894 --> 00:04:30,261 Vice grips! Vice grips! Vice grips! 88 00:04:30,297 --> 00:04:31,764 Vice grips! Vice... 89 00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:34,492 What have we here? 90 00:04:35,769 --> 00:04:41,435 Almost... What? l think l just dropped my vice grip. 91 00:04:42,509 --> 00:04:45,842 Looks like you've got a crack in your rear manifold. 92 00:04:45,879 --> 00:04:47,471 - Let me see that ass! - Do it to it. 93 00:04:47,514 --> 00:04:49,846 Gonna probably have to replace the assket. 94 00:04:49,883 --> 00:04:54,411 Ass gas. Pass gas. Y'all get it? 95 00:04:54,455 --> 00:04:56,116 See my butthole? 96 00:04:56,156 --> 00:04:59,592 - Now he's got us back. Hell, yeah. - Y'all do it to it. 97 00:05:00,961 --> 00:05:04,192 - Yeah! He done it to it tonight! - That was the bomb! 98 00:05:04,231 --> 00:05:06,290 Can l get me a Country Mind Helmet? 99 00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:08,528 - Hell, no. - Well, they free. 100 00:05:09,370 --> 00:05:10,928 Do it to it! 101 00:05:11,638 --> 00:05:13,868 - What does it do? - lt... 102 00:05:15,209 --> 00:05:17,302 lt do it to it. 103 00:05:17,344 --> 00:05:18,811 All right. Do it. 104 00:05:20,547 --> 00:05:24,677 lt feels good. Yeah. Turn it up. 105 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,120 That's good. Right there. Right there. 106 00:05:30,557 --> 00:05:32,286 Now you...punch me in the face. 107 00:05:32,926 --> 00:05:35,622 Right there. Yeah. There you go. 108 00:05:35,662 --> 00:05:39,564 l...feel...alive! 109 00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,328 Oh, my God! 110 00:05:44,438 --> 00:05:47,407 Damn. That was fun! 111 00:05:47,441 --> 00:05:49,466 Hey, Granny, put this here hat on. 112 00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:51,774 This here is going to be a twisty checkerboard... 113 00:05:51,812 --> 00:05:54,781 flying into a black hole on the talons of an eagle. 114 00:05:54,815 --> 00:05:57,545 lmbecile. Graphics go on the outside of the ship. 115 00:05:57,584 --> 00:06:00,417 - Who's steering? - Who? Who's doing what now? 116 00:06:00,454 --> 00:06:03,116 Now you... punch me in the face. 117 00:06:05,826 --> 00:06:09,091 lt's the rapture! Go get my Jesus wig. 118 00:06:09,129 --> 00:06:11,529 - Daddy, look! - Hot damn almighty. 119 00:06:11,565 --> 00:06:13,760 - lt's Plumber Bubba. - No, no, no. Behind him. 120 00:06:13,801 --> 00:06:15,769 That big ol' spaceship. 121 00:06:17,504 --> 00:06:19,529 Damn, it's Plumber Bubba! 122 00:06:19,573 --> 00:06:22,770 We seen him at the First Baptist just the other night tonight. 123 00:06:22,810 --> 00:06:26,109 That ain't Jesus. Fake me out. 124 00:06:27,614 --> 00:06:30,879 Do it to it. Oh, God. 125 00:06:30,918 --> 00:06:32,749 Oh, my God! A space foreigner! 126 00:06:32,786 --> 00:06:35,118 Has taken over Plumber Bubba's body! 127 00:06:35,155 --> 00:06:37,885 - Let's beat it out of him for America. - No, no, no. 128 00:06:37,925 --> 00:06:42,487 l'm the one known as Plumber Bubba. l mean, do it to it. See? 129 00:06:43,397 --> 00:06:45,729 So you Plumber Bubba, is that right? 130 00:06:45,766 --> 00:06:48,929 Then fix this here sombitchin' hot tub. Go on. 131 00:06:48,969 --> 00:06:52,928 Well, this here's a bathtub on top of a stove. 132 00:06:54,108 --> 00:06:56,372 - He's right, Daddy. - We ain't got no plumbin' in here. 133 00:06:56,410 --> 00:07:00,471 - Hell, a real plumber would know that! - Well, you didn't give me a chance to say... 134 00:07:00,514 --> 00:07:04,450 And l won't. You ain't no damn plumber, and l'm starting to doubt your Bubbery. 135 00:07:04,485 --> 00:07:06,282 So who the hell are you, anyhow? 136 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:10,780 l am Ploom-err Boob-ah from the planet A-la-ba-ma. 137 00:07:10,824 --> 00:07:13,850 l've traveled many parsecs to your orb only... 138 00:07:13,894 --> 00:07:16,124 to tell a few jokes and harvest... 139 00:07:16,163 --> 00:07:19,997 intello-secretions from the brainminds of my hyper-intelligent fans. 140 00:07:20,033 --> 00:07:21,933 You mean like Aunt Lil? 141 00:07:21,969 --> 00:07:25,405 Her and many geniuses like her. For even as we speak... 142 00:07:25,439 --> 00:07:28,670 her massive brainpower is being harnessed to create... 143 00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:30,336 an unspeakable weapon. 144 00:07:30,377 --> 00:07:34,746 Like a big old 30 ought 6 pointed at us from, like a space moon or somethin'? 145 00:07:34,781 --> 00:07:37,875 lt will eliminate all creatures, matter... 146 00:07:37,918 --> 00:07:42,617 and time, leaving only Memorial Day weekend. 147 00:07:42,656 --> 00:07:45,420 That is really horrible as hell. 148 00:07:46,026 --> 00:07:49,723 Say that joke. Come on. Do it to it. Do it for my voicemail. 149 00:07:49,763 --> 00:07:53,426 lf you's wantin' to destroy us, then why you tellin' us all this? 150 00:07:53,467 --> 00:07:57,836 Because, son, l have grown to admire your culture through mocking it. 151 00:07:57,871 --> 00:08:01,272 l long to inhale your mint juleps and sweet teas... 152 00:08:01,308 --> 00:08:03,173 through my absorption tube-gill... 153 00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:06,543 kick my reptilian hook-feet up on the porch swing... 154 00:08:06,580 --> 00:08:09,674 and witness the setting of your single sun. 155 00:08:09,716 --> 00:08:12,981 Look here, you might be a carpetbagger space Yankee sombitch... 156 00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:16,421 what come down here from up north of space to take our brain juice... 157 00:08:16,456 --> 00:08:17,684 but you with us now, OK? 158 00:08:17,724 --> 00:08:19,919 But them elders, they gonna look for me, man. 159 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,929 They best bring themselves a sack lunch if they gonna tangle... 160 00:08:22,963 --> 00:08:26,228 - ...with the Cuyler boys, right, Daddy? - A country boy can survive. 161 00:08:26,266 --> 00:08:29,292 A country boy can survive. 162 00:08:31,271 --> 00:08:34,536 - He ain't gonna live, is he? - Who? Him? Hell, no. 163 00:08:34,575 --> 00:08:37,544 Must have space fluids. 164 00:08:37,578 --> 00:08:40,206 Red, circle lookin' thing. 165 00:08:40,247 --> 00:08:42,681 Hey, Granny. Have you seen this old boy's space fluids? 166 00:08:55,862 --> 00:08:59,320 Ploom-err Boob-a, you are in violation. 167 00:08:59,366 --> 00:09:03,302 Get...off...my...land. 168 00:09:03,937 --> 00:09:05,063 Ploom-err... 169 00:09:05,105 --> 00:09:08,541 - Hold on. He ain't finished yet. - You tested me... 170 00:09:08,575 --> 00:09:11,510 and l'm about to pass... 171 00:09:11,545 --> 00:09:15,311 when l whoop...that ass. 172 00:09:15,349 --> 00:09:18,648 - Ain't no backing down now! - Nut up or shut up! That's what l told him. 173 00:09:18,685 --> 00:09:21,381 Ploom-err Boob-a, we need more brains. 174 00:09:21,421 --> 00:09:25,448 We have you booked at the Bo-at show in Chat-ah-noo-ga. 175 00:09:26,793 --> 00:09:30,320 Go on. Absorb the space fluids. 176 00:09:30,364 --> 00:09:32,264 You crave them. 177 00:09:32,299 --> 00:09:37,032 They will quench the hurt within your soul. 178 00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:39,402 Come back to the fold. 179 00:09:39,439 --> 00:09:42,431 Do it to it. 180 00:09:42,476 --> 00:09:46,242 Hey! Back the hell off! This boy's Southern now. 181 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,248 He don't need your juices. 182 00:09:48,882 --> 00:09:50,110 l need 'em. 183 00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:52,084 Come on, man. l'll pay you. 184 00:09:52,119 --> 00:09:55,247 l'm jonesin' hard! l got the itch. 185 00:09:56,356 --> 00:09:58,916 Fine, Sou-th-ern man. 186 00:09:58,959 --> 00:10:00,221 You have doone it... 187 00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:02,728 done it for the last time. 188 00:10:02,763 --> 00:10:04,128 Vaporize them. 189 00:10:09,569 --> 00:10:12,333 Hold it. Hold on, now. Hold on. 190 00:10:12,973 --> 00:10:16,374 Go ahead. Say it. One more time before we die. Do it to it. Come on. 191 00:10:16,410 --> 00:10:19,675 Do...it...to... 192 00:10:22,115 --> 00:10:23,912 Now, that is disappointing. 193 00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:27,386 - Go on. Press the thing. - l did...it's not working. 194 00:10:27,421 --> 00:10:29,412 Slap the pig's ass! 195 00:10:32,793 --> 00:10:33,782 Nothing. 196 00:10:33,827 --> 00:10:37,524 Damn it, l told you. Japan, lndia, that's where the brains are... 197 00:10:37,564 --> 00:10:40,032 and you kept saying how you just ''love'' the South... 198 00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:43,264 and how good the food is and the asinine folk art. 199 00:10:43,303 --> 00:10:45,066 You said you liked my piece. 200 00:10:45,105 --> 00:10:47,835 lt's a backward ''R'' painted on a frying pan. 201 00:10:47,874 --> 00:10:50,775 Maybe we should've made the chicken and dumpling... 202 00:10:50,811 --> 00:10:54,440 Toby Keith gravy grit half truck ton... 203 00:10:54,481 --> 00:10:57,780 That sounds stupid as l say it. 204 00:10:57,818 --> 00:11:01,652 - All right. Will this thing pop a wheelie? - We gonna find out. Smack that pig. 205 00:11:06,426 --> 00:11:07,893 lt do not. 206 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:15,000 Subtitles by BloodLogic 207 00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:19,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 16463

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