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1
00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,929
% My oldest son was born an albino %
2
00:00:11,639 --> 00:00:14,938
% My youngest is covered in hair %
3
00:00:16,944 --> 00:00:20,937
% The middle one says he's a homosexual %
4
00:00:22,383 --> 00:00:25,511
% The other seven are gone,
l don't know where %
5
00:00:25,553 --> 00:00:27,783
% and l don't care %
6
00:00:27,822 --> 00:00:29,289
% l just don't care %
7
00:00:29,356 --> 00:00:30,584
- My turn.
- Hell, no.
8
00:00:30,624 --> 00:00:33,787
- Man, let me drive that thing. Come on!
- Do not touch the trim!
9
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And this taco-muncher says,
''Oh, please don't fire me, mang.''
10
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Mang.
11
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Hell, l don't know how
you spell ''man'' in ol' Mexico...
12
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:49,140
but in America, the ''G'' is silent.
13
00:00:49,176 --> 00:00:51,201
''G'' is silent.
14
00:00:51,245 --> 00:00:53,406
Just like my ideal woman.
15
00:00:54,181 --> 00:00:55,944
He's gonna do it.
He's gonna do it.
16
00:00:55,983 --> 00:00:57,746
Do it to it.
17
00:00:59,220 --> 00:01:00,244
Plumber Bubba.
18
00:01:00,287 --> 00:01:03,279
- You ever hear his tape?
- Uh, Daddy, that's this tape.
19
00:01:03,324 --> 00:01:06,020
Shut up, now, boy.
l'm tryin' to hear my tape.
20
00:01:08,662 --> 00:01:10,687
- Tape's over.
- Flip it again.
21
00:01:10,731 --> 00:01:12,699
Hell, yeah!
We gonna flip it again.
22
00:01:12,733 --> 00:01:16,191
Ain't you gonna
see the same dumbass jokes live tonight?
23
00:01:16,237 --> 00:01:19,206
Tonight? Plumber Bubba?
ls he in town tonight?
24
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,073
He's going to blow the roof off
the First Baptist.
25
00:01:22,109 --> 00:01:24,509
- Do it to it, baby.
- Daddy, can l go? Daddy, l wanna go.
26
00:01:24,545 --> 00:01:26,513
- Can l go?
- l don't know, son.
27
00:01:27,248 --> 00:01:29,113
This here is mature material.
28
00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:31,482
Translation: That there is froggy talk for...
29
00:01:31,519 --> 00:01:34,283
''Come on in, Nazis.
Help yourself to the cheese.''
30
00:01:34,321 --> 00:01:36,881
He skewered the French.
31
00:01:36,924 --> 00:01:38,858
Daddy, come on, now.
l can handle it.
32
00:01:40,161 --> 00:01:43,255
- All right, then. You coming.
- Hell, yeah!
33
00:01:43,297 --> 00:01:45,629
- Here's Granny's ticket.
- No!
34
00:01:45,666 --> 00:01:47,600
My decision is final.
35
00:01:47,635 --> 00:01:50,968
Unless y'all want
to fistificuff for my amusement.
36
00:01:51,005 --> 00:01:54,839
Y'all don't want none o' this,
let me tell you, Granny.
37
00:01:54,875 --> 00:01:58,003
l guess l'll just listen
to the tape again.
38
00:01:58,045 --> 00:01:59,740
The tape comes with me.
39
00:01:59,780 --> 00:02:01,714
Early. Early?
40
00:02:10,791 --> 00:02:13,351
Sheriff.
You all right?
41
00:02:14,495 --> 00:02:15,792
Couldn't be better.
42
00:02:15,830 --> 00:02:18,025
Well, you all duct-taped
to a chair and all that.
43
00:02:18,065 --> 00:02:19,362
This is my ejector seat.
44
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,563
l had a little plane crash,
but ain't no biggie, you know.
45
00:02:22,603 --> 00:02:24,594
- We'll see you later.
- Get his bill fold.
46
00:02:24,638 --> 00:02:27,698
- All right, then.
- No, no, no, stop. lt's contagious.
47
00:02:27,741 --> 00:02:30,175
lt is? What is?
48
00:02:30,211 --> 00:02:32,577
Plane crashes.
See you later, now.
49
00:02:33,380 --> 00:02:36,406
How come your lips ain't jibber-wiggling
when the sound came out?
50
00:02:36,450 --> 00:02:38,975
l had botox this morning.
See you later, now.
51
00:02:39,019 --> 00:02:41,010
But what about that
rope around your neck?
52
00:02:41,055 --> 00:02:42,716
- New tie. You like it?
- Yeah, but...
53
00:02:42,756 --> 00:02:45,190
- Don't be a stranger, now. See ya.
- Come on Rusty.
54
00:02:45,226 --> 00:02:47,421
- Plane crashes is intagious.
- Wait a minute.
55
00:02:47,461 --> 00:02:50,021
Are y'all going to
that Plumber Bubba show tonight?
56
00:02:50,064 --> 00:02:52,999
- Well, hell, yeah. We gonna do it to it.
- Do it to it.
57
00:02:54,802 --> 00:02:57,737
Boy, l'll tell you.
l love his observations about things...
58
00:02:57,771 --> 00:02:59,898
that don't really
happen down here.
59
00:03:01,308 --> 00:03:05,074
- Y'all do it to it, now.
- Are you sure you don't need no help?
60
00:03:05,112 --> 00:03:08,172
No, no. l'm just going to sit
here and rest a spell.
61
00:03:08,215 --> 00:03:11,184
Maybe beat my own brains
out with a hammer.
62
00:03:11,785 --> 00:03:13,980
Because l cannot behave,
can l?
63
00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:17,185
You're gonna pay
for this tonight, by God.
64
00:03:18,626 --> 00:03:20,218
Howdy.
So, anyways...
65
00:03:20,261 --> 00:03:22,695
l tell my Hummerzine pilot
to drive me...
66
00:03:22,730 --> 00:03:25,528
over yonder down to
my vineyard in Nantucket...
67
00:03:25,566 --> 00:03:28,501
for my new Zeppelin launch,
and he come back at me going...
68
00:03:28,535 --> 00:03:31,026
''A-dicka-dicka-globba-
gobba-ding-dong.''
69
00:03:31,071 --> 00:03:33,699
l said, ''Where are you from, boy?''
70
00:03:33,741 --> 00:03:36,266
He said, ''Dubai.'' Dubai?
71
00:03:36,310 --> 00:03:39,177
Well, then, do-buy yourself
a plane ticket back there...
72
00:03:39,213 --> 00:03:40,840
you towel-totin' camel-kicker.
73
00:03:42,316 --> 00:03:45,513
l later come to learn
that Dicka-globba-ding-dong...
74
00:03:45,552 --> 00:03:49,682
was over here just gettin' away
from the oppression of his homeland.
75
00:03:49,723 --> 00:03:53,022
So l turned to him,
l says, ''You're free now, my friend.
76
00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:56,655
''Free to get that cow pie
off the bottom of my wrestlin' boots.
77
00:03:56,697 --> 00:04:00,030
''Grab yourself a popsicle stick.
Scrape it out. You on the clock.''
78
00:04:01,135 --> 00:04:03,069
l liked to wanna shove my cloven...
79
00:04:03,103 --> 00:04:06,038
reptilian hook-foot up
his biphibious anal pore.
80
00:04:10,177 --> 00:04:12,236
Y'all hear me out there?
81
00:04:12,279 --> 00:04:14,144
We have a sound issue.
ls this on?
82
00:04:14,181 --> 00:04:17,241
- Damn it. He's bombing.
- Reptilian hook-foot?
83
00:04:17,284 --> 00:04:19,548
- Hell, that ain't funny.
- That ain't funny.
84
00:04:19,586 --> 00:04:21,383
Drop the vice grips, jackass!
85
00:04:22,289 --> 00:04:25,747
Yeah. l got in.
Vice grips!
86
00:04:25,793 --> 00:04:26,851
Vice grips!
87
00:04:26,894 --> 00:04:30,261
Vice grips!
Vice grips! Vice grips!
88
00:04:30,297 --> 00:04:31,764
Vice grips! Vice...
89
00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:34,492
What have we here?
90
00:04:35,769 --> 00:04:41,435
Almost... What?
l think l just dropped my vice grip.
91
00:04:42,509 --> 00:04:45,842
Looks like you've got a crack
in your rear manifold.
92
00:04:45,879 --> 00:04:47,471
- Let me see that ass!
- Do it to it.
93
00:04:47,514 --> 00:04:49,846
Gonna probably
have to replace the assket.
94
00:04:49,883 --> 00:04:54,411
Ass gas. Pass gas.
Y'all get it?
95
00:04:54,455 --> 00:04:56,116
See my butthole?
96
00:04:56,156 --> 00:04:59,592
- Now he's got us back. Hell, yeah.
- Y'all do it to it.
97
00:05:00,961 --> 00:05:04,192
- Yeah! He done it to it tonight!
- That was the bomb!
98
00:05:04,231 --> 00:05:06,290
Can l get me
a Country Mind Helmet?
99
00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:08,528
- Hell, no.
- Well, they free.
100
00:05:09,370 --> 00:05:10,928
Do it to it!
101
00:05:11,638 --> 00:05:13,868
- What does it do?
- lt...
102
00:05:15,209 --> 00:05:17,302
lt do it to it.
103
00:05:17,344 --> 00:05:18,811
All right. Do it.
104
00:05:20,547 --> 00:05:24,677
lt feels good.
Yeah. Turn it up.
105
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,120
That's good.
Right there. Right there.
106
00:05:30,557 --> 00:05:32,286
Now you...punch me
in the face.
107
00:05:32,926 --> 00:05:35,622
Right there.
Yeah. There you go.
108
00:05:35,662 --> 00:05:39,564
l...feel...alive!
109
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,328
Oh, my God!
110
00:05:44,438 --> 00:05:47,407
Damn.
That was fun!
111
00:05:47,441 --> 00:05:49,466
Hey, Granny, put
this here hat on.
112
00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:51,774
This here is going to be
a twisty checkerboard...
113
00:05:51,812 --> 00:05:54,781
flying into a black hole
on the talons of an eagle.
114
00:05:54,815 --> 00:05:57,545
lmbecile. Graphics go
on the outside of the ship.
115
00:05:57,584 --> 00:06:00,417
- Who's steering?
- Who? Who's doing what now?
116
00:06:00,454 --> 00:06:03,116
Now you...
punch me in the face.
117
00:06:05,826 --> 00:06:09,091
lt's the rapture!
Go get my Jesus wig.
118
00:06:09,129 --> 00:06:11,529
- Daddy, look!
- Hot damn almighty.
119
00:06:11,565 --> 00:06:13,760
- lt's Plumber Bubba.
- No, no, no. Behind him.
120
00:06:13,801 --> 00:06:15,769
That big ol' spaceship.
121
00:06:17,504 --> 00:06:19,529
Damn, it's Plumber Bubba!
122
00:06:19,573 --> 00:06:22,770
We seen him at the First Baptist
just the other night tonight.
123
00:06:22,810 --> 00:06:26,109
That ain't Jesus. Fake me out.
124
00:06:27,614 --> 00:06:30,879
Do it to it.
Oh, God.
125
00:06:30,918 --> 00:06:32,749
Oh, my God!
A space foreigner!
126
00:06:32,786 --> 00:06:35,118
Has taken over
Plumber Bubba's body!
127
00:06:35,155 --> 00:06:37,885
- Let's beat it out of him for America.
- No, no, no.
128
00:06:37,925 --> 00:06:42,487
l'm the one known as Plumber Bubba.
l mean, do it to it. See?
129
00:06:43,397 --> 00:06:45,729
So you Plumber Bubba,
is that right?
130
00:06:45,766 --> 00:06:48,929
Then fix this here
sombitchin' hot tub. Go on.
131
00:06:48,969 --> 00:06:52,928
Well, this here's
a bathtub on top of a stove.
132
00:06:54,108 --> 00:06:56,372
- He's right, Daddy.
- We ain't got no plumbin' in here.
133
00:06:56,410 --> 00:07:00,471
- Hell, a real plumber would know that!
- Well, you didn't give me a chance to say...
134
00:07:00,514 --> 00:07:04,450
And l won't. You ain't no damn plumber,
and l'm starting to doubt your Bubbery.
135
00:07:04,485 --> 00:07:06,282
So who the hell
are you, anyhow?
136
00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:10,780
l am Ploom-err Boob-ah
from the planet A-la-ba-ma.
137
00:07:10,824 --> 00:07:13,850
l've traveled many parsecs
to your orb only...
138
00:07:13,894 --> 00:07:16,124
to tell a few
jokes and harvest...
139
00:07:16,163 --> 00:07:19,997
intello-secretions from the brainminds
of my hyper-intelligent fans.
140
00:07:20,033 --> 00:07:21,933
You mean like Aunt Lil?
141
00:07:21,969 --> 00:07:25,405
Her and many geniuses like her.
For even as we speak...
142
00:07:25,439 --> 00:07:28,670
her massive brainpower
is being harnessed to create...
143
00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:30,336
an unspeakable weapon.
144
00:07:30,377 --> 00:07:34,746
Like a big old 30 ought 6 pointed at us
from, like a space moon or somethin'?
145
00:07:34,781 --> 00:07:37,875
lt will eliminate all creatures, matter...
146
00:07:37,918 --> 00:07:42,617
and time, leaving only
Memorial Day weekend.
147
00:07:42,656 --> 00:07:45,420
That is really
horrible as hell.
148
00:07:46,026 --> 00:07:49,723
Say that joke. Come on.
Do it to it. Do it for my voicemail.
149
00:07:49,763 --> 00:07:53,426
lf you's wantin' to destroy us,
then why you tellin' us all this?
150
00:07:53,467 --> 00:07:57,836
Because, son, l have grown
to admire your culture through mocking it.
151
00:07:57,871 --> 00:08:01,272
l long to inhale your mint
juleps and sweet teas...
152
00:08:01,308 --> 00:08:03,173
through my absorption tube-gill...
153
00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:06,543
kick my reptilian hook-feet
up on the porch swing...
154
00:08:06,580 --> 00:08:09,674
and witness the setting
of your single sun.
155
00:08:09,716 --> 00:08:12,981
Look here, you might be
a carpetbagger space Yankee sombitch...
156
00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:16,421
what come down here from up
north of space to take our brain juice...
157
00:08:16,456 --> 00:08:17,684
but you with us now, OK?
158
00:08:17,724 --> 00:08:19,919
But them elders,
they gonna look for me, man.
159
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,929
They best bring themselves
a sack lunch if they gonna tangle...
160
00:08:22,963 --> 00:08:26,228
- ...with the Cuyler boys, right, Daddy?
- A country boy can survive.
161
00:08:26,266 --> 00:08:29,292
A country boy
can survive.
162
00:08:31,271 --> 00:08:34,536
- He ain't gonna live, is he?
- Who? Him? Hell, no.
163
00:08:34,575 --> 00:08:37,544
Must have space fluids.
164
00:08:37,578 --> 00:08:40,206
Red, circle lookin' thing.
165
00:08:40,247 --> 00:08:42,681
Hey, Granny. Have you seen this
old boy's space fluids?
166
00:08:55,862 --> 00:08:59,320
Ploom-err Boob-a,
you are in violation.
167
00:08:59,366 --> 00:09:03,302
Get...off...my...land.
168
00:09:03,937 --> 00:09:05,063
Ploom-err...
169
00:09:05,105 --> 00:09:08,541
- Hold on. He ain't finished yet.
- You tested me...
170
00:09:08,575 --> 00:09:11,510
and l'm about to pass...
171
00:09:11,545 --> 00:09:15,311
when l whoop...that ass.
172
00:09:15,349 --> 00:09:18,648
- Ain't no backing down now!
- Nut up or shut up! That's what l told him.
173
00:09:18,685 --> 00:09:21,381
Ploom-err Boob-a,
we need more brains.
174
00:09:21,421 --> 00:09:25,448
We have you booked at the Bo-at
show in Chat-ah-noo-ga.
175
00:09:26,793 --> 00:09:30,320
Go on.
Absorb the space fluids.
176
00:09:30,364 --> 00:09:32,264
You crave them.
177
00:09:32,299 --> 00:09:37,032
They will quench the hurt
within your soul.
178
00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:39,402
Come back to the fold.
179
00:09:39,439 --> 00:09:42,431
Do it to it.
180
00:09:42,476 --> 00:09:46,242
Hey! Back the hell off!
This boy's Southern now.
181
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,248
He don't need your juices.
182
00:09:48,882 --> 00:09:50,110
l need 'em.
183
00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:52,084
Come on, man.
l'll pay you.
184
00:09:52,119 --> 00:09:55,247
l'm jonesin' hard!
l got the itch.
185
00:09:56,356 --> 00:09:58,916
Fine, Sou-th-ern man.
186
00:09:58,959 --> 00:10:00,221
You have doone it...
187
00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:02,728
done it for the last time.
188
00:10:02,763 --> 00:10:04,128
Vaporize them.
189
00:10:09,569 --> 00:10:12,333
Hold it. Hold on, now. Hold on.
190
00:10:12,973 --> 00:10:16,374
Go ahead. Say it. One more
time before we die. Do it to it. Come on.
191
00:10:16,410 --> 00:10:19,675
Do...it...to...
192
00:10:22,115 --> 00:10:23,912
Now, that is disappointing.
193
00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:27,386
- Go on. Press the thing.
- l did...it's not working.
194
00:10:27,421 --> 00:10:29,412
Slap the pig's ass!
195
00:10:32,793 --> 00:10:33,782
Nothing.
196
00:10:33,827 --> 00:10:37,524
Damn it, l told you.
Japan, lndia, that's where the brains are...
197
00:10:37,564 --> 00:10:40,032
and you kept saying how
you just ''love'' the South...
198
00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:43,264
and how good the food is
and the asinine folk art.
199
00:10:43,303 --> 00:10:45,066
You said you liked my piece.
200
00:10:45,105 --> 00:10:47,835
lt's a backward ''R''
painted on a frying pan.
201
00:10:47,874 --> 00:10:50,775
Maybe we should've made
the chicken and dumpling...
202
00:10:50,811 --> 00:10:54,440
Toby Keith gravy grit
half truck ton...
203
00:10:54,481 --> 00:10:57,780
That sounds stupid as l say it.
204
00:10:57,818 --> 00:11:01,652
- All right. Will this thing pop a wheelie?
- We gonna find out. Smack that pig.
205
00:11:06,426 --> 00:11:07,893
lt do not.
206
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:15,000
Subtitles by
BloodLogic
207
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:19,600
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