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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,929 % My dreams are all dead and buried % 2 00:00:11,639 --> 00:00:15,803 % Sometimes l wish the sun would just explode % 3 00:00:16,944 --> 00:00:20,937 % When God comes and calls me to His kingdom % 4 00:00:21,749 --> 00:00:25,480 % l'll take all you sons of bitches when l go % 5 00:00:29,190 --> 00:00:30,589 - My turn. - Hell, no. 6 00:00:30,624 --> 00:00:33,787 - Man, let me drive that thing. Come on! - Do not touch the trim! 7 00:00:37,465 --> 00:00:39,865 Early, l'm not gonna ask you again, now. 8 00:00:39,900 --> 00:00:43,563 lf you come out right this minute, l can guarantee your safety. 9 00:00:43,604 --> 00:00:46,903 l ain't goin' nowhere, except hell, and l'm takin' you with me. 10 00:00:46,941 --> 00:00:52,811 Early, the talkin' part's over. l'm countin' to three, then l'm comin' in. 11 00:00:52,847 --> 00:00:55,077 You better have both them guns a-blazin'. 12 00:00:55,116 --> 00:00:56,413 One... 13 00:00:57,451 --> 00:00:58,611 two... 14 00:01:01,522 --> 00:01:04,889 Come on, Early. We're gonna be late for church. 15 00:01:04,925 --> 00:01:07,416 Oh, hell. ls it Sunday already? 16 00:01:08,462 --> 00:01:11,363 Damn, don't time fly when you're drunk as hell? 17 00:01:11,398 --> 00:01:14,697 - Now, let's get it on! - Good Lord! 18 00:01:14,735 --> 00:01:17,568 - You're wearing that to church, Early? - Listen here, boy. 19 00:01:17,605 --> 00:01:20,540 The Lord made everything, so he must've made this here hat. 20 00:01:20,574 --> 00:01:22,838 - Ain't that right, Granny? - No. 21 00:01:22,877 --> 00:01:26,540 l won that flashing my titas down in PC beach. 22 00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:28,343 And God made PC beach, didn't he? 23 00:01:28,382 --> 00:01:30,646 - Oh, he certainly did. - Yes, he did. 24 00:01:30,684 --> 00:01:32,174 God is gooder than hell. 25 00:01:32,219 --> 00:01:37,122 Right. lf y'all don't mind, l'm going to sit a few pews away this week here. 26 00:01:38,893 --> 00:01:41,293 l've got the power in me! 27 00:01:41,328 --> 00:01:45,731 l feel it! l've got so much holy energy in me. 28 00:01:45,766 --> 00:01:48,496 l've just got to dance it off. 29 00:01:51,071 --> 00:01:53,801 Can l get a hallelujah out there? 30 00:01:57,778 --> 00:01:59,803 Anyone? 31 00:01:59,847 --> 00:02:01,781 Them speakers sound fine! 32 00:02:03,417 --> 00:02:05,510 Thank you, brother Early. 33 00:02:05,553 --> 00:02:09,045 And now, l'd like to ask all of the teenagers... 34 00:02:09,089 --> 00:02:16,052 to come up to the front for what l call God ls Rad. 35 00:02:19,967 --> 00:02:21,798 High five, teenager. 36 00:02:25,239 --> 00:02:31,075 You want to know what's totally awesome, gnarly, and tubular? 37 00:02:32,012 --> 00:02:33,980 Jesus. 38 00:02:34,014 --> 00:02:38,474 But when the devil enters your life, you should say unto thee... 39 00:02:38,519 --> 00:02:43,115 ''Devil, you are a nerd in my book.'' 40 00:02:43,157 --> 00:02:45,557 When we gonna do the money? 41 00:02:46,126 --> 00:02:48,492 Brother Early, we'll get to that later. 42 00:02:48,529 --> 00:02:51,327 l got to it now. Hat's a-comin' round, folks. 43 00:02:51,365 --> 00:02:52,957 Do generositize it. 44 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,298 Early, we have a proper receptacle for the... 45 00:02:56,136 --> 00:02:57,865 Oh, my God! 46 00:02:57,905 --> 00:02:59,429 But that's my weekend hat! 47 00:02:59,473 --> 00:03:04,308 Early, what message do you think your hat sends? 48 00:03:04,345 --> 00:03:09,749 Well, just what's airbrushed on there, ''S... and f... your ass on PC beach '92!'' 49 00:03:09,783 --> 00:03:14,152 Early, l think you need to go back in there and ask for His forgiveness. 50 00:03:14,188 --> 00:03:18,750 Then and only then, will you receive more of our canned goods. 51 00:03:18,792 --> 00:03:20,885 Look, Early, that's food. 52 00:03:20,928 --> 00:03:22,395 Food! That's for eatin'. 53 00:03:22,429 --> 00:03:25,023 - There's some yams in here. - Let's see... yams. 54 00:03:25,065 --> 00:03:26,999 - More yams. - Yam bullion. 55 00:03:27,034 --> 00:03:29,662 - Well? - This is a awful lot of yams in here. 56 00:03:29,703 --> 00:03:33,230 But wait a minute, now, Reverend. You know today's the big race. 57 00:03:33,274 --> 00:03:35,003 Talladega can wait. 58 00:03:35,042 --> 00:03:37,806 No. The race war, dumbass. lt's today! 59 00:03:37,845 --> 00:03:39,870 - lt's just a reenactment. - Quiet, Honky. 60 00:03:39,914 --> 00:03:42,712 - You can't reenact the destiny. - Early... 61 00:03:45,119 --> 00:03:47,519 Oh, Lord, who done made all creatures... 62 00:03:47,554 --> 00:03:50,182 great and small in his own image. 63 00:03:51,125 --> 00:03:53,753 Did you make them fine-ass sounding speakers... 64 00:03:53,794 --> 00:03:57,457 what would sound gooder than hell at the back of my truck-boat truck? 65 00:03:57,498 --> 00:04:00,831 Well, if you don't want me to jimmy-jack them sweet tweeters... 66 00:04:00,868 --> 00:04:02,233 you best give me a sign. 67 00:04:03,470 --> 00:04:05,700 A new sign. l done seen that 'un. 68 00:04:06,874 --> 00:04:11,743 Lord, please give me the strength to lift these fine-ass speakers off the... 69 00:04:17,918 --> 00:04:20,045 Go to the light. 70 00:04:22,589 --> 00:04:23,920 Early. 71 00:04:33,167 --> 00:04:35,192 % Go to the light % 72 00:04:37,171 --> 00:04:40,038 % Change your life % 73 00:04:41,075 --> 00:04:43,134 % Go to the light % 74 00:04:50,651 --> 00:04:54,314 Y'all hear that? That's what it sounds like if we had insurance. 75 00:04:54,355 --> 00:04:57,256 Praise be Jesus. He's saved. 76 00:04:57,291 --> 00:05:02,422 % Jesus' sheep has found the shepherd in the world % 77 00:05:02,463 --> 00:05:03,862 Yes, Granny. 78 00:05:03,897 --> 00:05:08,857 l seen the light, like a DUl roadblock in the sky. 79 00:05:08,902 --> 00:05:11,598 But l pulled a U and hauled ass through the woods... 80 00:05:11,638 --> 00:05:13,503 and now my life has purpose. 81 00:05:13,540 --> 00:05:15,735 Good-bye, brown party liquor. 82 00:05:15,776 --> 00:05:18,006 Gunnery, you have a good 'un, now. 83 00:05:18,045 --> 00:05:22,846 Masturbation... Let's just call it a hiatus. 84 00:05:22,883 --> 00:05:28,048 From now on, l'm a bush hog on the front end loader of the Lord. 85 00:05:28,989 --> 00:05:34,621 And so Early set out to live his life in a more Jesusly fashion. 86 00:05:34,661 --> 00:05:36,219 What's all this stuff, Early? 87 00:05:36,263 --> 00:05:41,098 The squid giveth back unto thee whateth he hath stealedeth from thine garageth. 88 00:05:41,135 --> 00:05:44,104 Good Lord, it's my portable digital assistant. 89 00:05:44,138 --> 00:05:45,196 But there's more. 90 00:05:45,239 --> 00:05:47,605 Open thouest tooly chest. 91 00:05:48,675 --> 00:05:50,233 lt's my missing kidney! 92 00:05:50,277 --> 00:05:53,178 - Early, you shouldn't have. - God bless, now. 93 00:05:53,213 --> 00:05:56,705 l mean, you shouldn't have never stole my damn kidney to start with. 94 00:05:56,750 --> 00:06:00,550 l'm gonna arrest you on this one. 95 00:06:01,889 --> 00:06:02,878 Maybe. 96 00:06:02,923 --> 00:06:06,859 Yes, darlin', your chest is full and heaving. 97 00:06:06,894 --> 00:06:10,091 But what about the heart that lays beneath them puppies? 98 00:06:10,130 --> 00:06:13,224 Look here. l want you to read this here literature. 99 00:06:13,267 --> 00:06:15,599 No! Pick it up with the butt cheeks. 100 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:17,729 So please accept these candied yams... 101 00:06:17,771 --> 00:06:21,172 as a advance on the child support that l ain't never gonna pay... 102 00:06:21,208 --> 00:06:24,735 'cause you just gonna spend it on bathtub crank from my sister. 103 00:06:24,778 --> 00:06:26,871 And also know that l forgive thee... 104 00:06:26,914 --> 00:06:31,078 for doing the unskinny bop with every damn creature from this valley. 105 00:06:31,118 --> 00:06:32,779 But what can one do... 106 00:06:32,820 --> 00:06:35,482 for the vagina wants what the vagina wants. 107 00:06:35,522 --> 00:06:39,424 Ain't that right, you whore of Babylon? l'm sorry, Jesus. l can't help it! 108 00:06:39,460 --> 00:06:42,486 She just makes me so damn pissed off. 109 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,425 Check the date on them yams. 110 00:06:48,469 --> 00:06:52,462 No, not you. Hey, ese. Vamonos. 111 00:06:57,211 --> 00:07:01,341 Hold on, then. Oh, wait. Wait, wait, go back. Go back. 112 00:07:01,381 --> 00:07:05,408 l didn't get anything after ''Abdula dolla flobud hogwa dowa.'' 113 00:07:05,452 --> 00:07:07,511 l can't go back. l don't even know where l am. 114 00:07:07,554 --> 00:07:10,523 This here's ancient Hebrewloid from Sumerifornia. 115 00:07:10,557 --> 00:07:11,922 What's this for, anyway? 116 00:07:11,959 --> 00:07:15,486 We making literatures to hand out in front of that damn Dokken concert. 117 00:07:15,529 --> 00:07:16,826 But l was gonna see Dokken! 118 00:07:16,864 --> 00:07:20,095 - Dokken is devily music. - But it's a totally different line-up. 119 00:07:20,134 --> 00:07:22,227 lf Don Dokken is involved, it is devily music. 120 00:07:22,269 --> 00:07:24,829 Look there, Rusty. You misspelled... 121 00:07:26,306 --> 00:07:29,002 Will you keep it down, for crying out loud? 122 00:07:29,042 --> 00:07:31,272 l'm trying to watch me stories... 123 00:07:32,179 --> 00:07:36,513 and l'm having a really hard time. Stories? 124 00:07:37,217 --> 00:07:39,082 l done give away the story box. 125 00:07:39,119 --> 00:07:42,714 From now on, we going to enjoy this classic butter churn. 126 00:07:44,057 --> 00:07:47,026 Where's the TV? Now l'm pissed! 127 00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:49,255 Come on, now. Everybody take a turn. 128 00:07:49,296 --> 00:07:51,890 ldle hands are the devil's ding-a-ling. 129 00:07:52,766 --> 00:07:53,755 Daddy. 130 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,200 Where you want l go put these worship snakes? 131 00:07:56,236 --> 00:07:57,863 Just drape 'em around your neck. 132 00:07:57,905 --> 00:08:01,671 They won't harm you if they don't bite you, but you gotta be predestined. 133 00:08:29,002 --> 00:08:30,526 What's this say, Reverend? 134 00:08:30,571 --> 00:08:35,634 Well, l'm not real good with ancient Sumerifornian Hebrewloid... 135 00:08:35,676 --> 00:08:40,045 but it looks like Early isn't really a big fan of Dokken. 136 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,878 - But it's a whole new line-up. - Hell, no. 137 00:08:42,916 --> 00:08:44,907 l'll be here for 40 days and 40 nights... 138 00:08:44,952 --> 00:08:48,183 if that's what it takes to keep these commandments on display. 139 00:08:48,222 --> 00:08:51,191 What's next? They gonna try to take it out of our schools? 140 00:08:51,225 --> 00:08:52,954 Bull mess. l am against it. 141 00:08:52,993 --> 00:08:56,190 l'm against mens kissing mens for any reason. 142 00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:58,596 But when womans do it... 143 00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,159 But that seems all right. 144 00:09:04,338 --> 00:09:07,273 Any womans here willing to make out with another woman? 145 00:09:07,307 --> 00:09:12,176 l'm against all digits below and above the number nine. 146 00:09:12,212 --> 00:09:14,009 They all blasphemous. 147 00:09:14,047 --> 00:09:15,537 And nitrogen. 148 00:09:15,582 --> 00:09:19,780 'Cause you know it was brought here on ships by space Jews. 149 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:22,789 Hell, yeah. You know the ones. You! 150 00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:24,791 Can l offer you some literature? 151 00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:26,850 No, thank you. l lived it. 152 00:09:26,893 --> 00:09:29,361 Jesus? ls that You, Lord? 153 00:09:30,764 --> 00:09:32,891 - Hot diddily damn! - Keep it down. 154 00:09:32,933 --> 00:09:35,197 Look, l'm just here to ask you a favor, OK? 155 00:09:35,235 --> 00:09:38,136 Could you please stop talking about me so much? 156 00:09:38,171 --> 00:09:41,231 - You're kind of blowing my street cred. - But Lord, l only... 157 00:09:41,275 --> 00:09:43,800 l like you. l do. l swear. 158 00:09:43,844 --> 00:09:47,803 Technically, l have to, but... What's a good way to put this? 159 00:09:51,718 --> 00:09:54,448 - You breakin' up with me? - Yeah. 160 00:09:54,488 --> 00:09:57,889 But what about the lights? lt was You, Jesus. l knowed it. 161 00:09:57,924 --> 00:10:00,119 lt was Cher, OK? 162 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,391 - A speaker fell on your head. - But You saved me! 163 00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:06,763 Do you remember your hat? That really offensive one? 164 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,429 Apparently, the foam donkey erection was detachable. 165 00:10:10,470 --> 00:10:13,234 That's what saved you. 166 00:10:13,273 --> 00:10:15,901 That's what that was, right, a donkey erection? 167 00:10:15,942 --> 00:10:18,775 Nice. Nice taste there. Thanks for wearing it to church. 168 00:10:18,812 --> 00:10:21,406 But they're tryin' to take down Your Commandments! 169 00:10:21,448 --> 00:10:24,975 - Ain't You wanna do nothin' about it? - Dude, have you even read this thing? 170 00:10:25,018 --> 00:10:26,485 lt's a beer ad. 171 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,647 So it is. 172 00:10:28,689 --> 00:10:31,317 Look, let's make a deal, OK? 173 00:10:31,358 --> 00:10:35,021 You stop talking about me and l will... 174 00:10:35,062 --> 00:10:36,927 OK, l'm gonna do this for you. 175 00:10:40,734 --> 00:10:41,792 Take a taste. 176 00:10:44,004 --> 00:10:46,268 Could it be? Party liquor rain?! 177 00:10:46,306 --> 00:10:48,706 That's single malt, my friend. Barrel aged. 178 00:10:48,742 --> 00:10:51,438 And that's quality, not like you know the difference. 179 00:10:51,478 --> 00:10:54,140 Let me get this straight, now. Every time it rains... 180 00:10:54,181 --> 00:10:55,546 No, Early. Just this once. 181 00:10:58,752 --> 00:11:01,220 Well, here we are, Early. Home sweet home. 182 00:11:03,123 --> 00:11:04,954 Yeah, l'm in here. 183 00:11:04,991 --> 00:11:08,085 - You took care of it, right? - lt's all good. 184 00:11:08,128 --> 00:11:11,427 - Check out this flat screen. - Yeah, you're the man. 185 00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:15,000 Subtitles by BloodLogic 186 00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:19,565 Oh, come on, now. Nobody cares who these people are! 187 00:11:19,615 --> 00:11:24,165 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 15137

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