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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,929 % My dreams are all dead and buried % 2 00:00:11,639 --> 00:00:15,803 % Sometimes l wish the sun would just explode % 3 00:00:16,944 --> 00:00:20,937 % When God comes and calls me to His kingdom % 4 00:00:21,749 --> 00:00:25,480 % l'll take all you sons of bitches when l go % 5 00:00:29,156 --> 00:00:30,589 - My turn. - Hell, no. 6 00:00:30,624 --> 00:00:33,787 - Man, let me drive that thing. Come on! - Do not touch the trim! 7 00:00:38,866 --> 00:00:41,960 That's how you make yourself a badass ponytail. 8 00:00:42,002 --> 00:00:45,096 - That's pretty badass, huh? - Now you wild! 9 00:00:46,774 --> 00:00:49,709 - Am l ever gonna walk again? - l would say no. 10 00:00:49,744 --> 00:00:51,473 Hey, Sheriff, how you doing? 11 00:00:52,580 --> 00:00:55,606 You working hard or you just hardly working? 12 00:00:55,649 --> 00:00:57,583 Get it? 13 00:00:57,618 --> 00:01:01,179 Damn, Sheriff, you sweating like a one-armed man in a... 14 00:01:01,889 --> 00:01:06,019 running in a... exercises and something like that, you know. 15 00:01:06,060 --> 00:01:09,496 lt's not sweat, it's water. You see my house down there? 16 00:01:11,398 --> 00:01:15,767 Apparently someone ripped the pipes out of my basement last night. 17 00:01:15,803 --> 00:01:18,271 So you come up here to buy yourself some pipes? 18 00:01:18,305 --> 00:01:21,672 Well, then, just follow the blue lights to savings. 19 00:01:31,619 --> 00:01:35,612 And that would explain the missing siren. 20 00:01:35,656 --> 00:01:38,750 That would explain the missing siren, huh? 21 00:01:38,793 --> 00:01:42,058 Maybe. Maybe not. 22 00:01:42,096 --> 00:01:45,862 Early, hop in. We need to take a ride into town. 23 00:01:46,867 --> 00:01:49,563 - Daddy, not again. - Oh, hell. 24 00:01:50,838 --> 00:01:53,671 l got my own cuffs this time. Yours pinch. 25 00:01:53,707 --> 00:01:55,231 We're not going to jail, Early. 26 00:01:55,276 --> 00:01:57,836 We're gonna take you to one of them head doctors... 27 00:01:57,878 --> 00:02:02,110 and see if he can help you with your criminal problems. 28 00:02:02,149 --> 00:02:05,710 No, thank you. l don't do business over the telephone with the government. 29 00:02:05,753 --> 00:02:10,554 - Hell, you're the one that needs it. - Early, this isn't about me. lt's about you. 30 00:02:11,358 --> 00:02:13,792 lt's all about him. lt's always about him. 31 00:02:13,828 --> 00:02:20,324 No one cares about how l feel, and l'll tell ya, l'm drowning in this. 32 00:02:20,367 --> 00:02:23,632 Right, OK. Let me just take in what just happened... 33 00:02:23,671 --> 00:02:25,639 and now l'm gonna turn to you, Early... 34 00:02:25,673 --> 00:02:28,233 and l'm gonna ask you point blank, how do you feel? 35 00:02:28,275 --> 00:02:34,043 Well, sometimes l feel like a nut, and sometimes l don't. 36 00:02:34,081 --> 00:02:38,142 - So that's a joke? - See? He doesn't think about his feelings. 37 00:02:38,185 --> 00:02:40,585 He just puts 'em away in his pocket... 38 00:02:40,621 --> 00:02:44,318 and then he runs over to my basement and rips out all my pipes! 39 00:02:44,358 --> 00:02:46,519 Now, hold on. l needed that copper. 40 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,085 Come on, now, doc, it weren't like l was wasting it. 41 00:02:49,129 --> 00:02:53,589 - l'm running a damn business here. - The business of betrayal. 42 00:02:53,634 --> 00:02:55,795 God, here comes Ruby Falls. 43 00:02:56,971 --> 00:02:58,131 Thank you. 44 00:02:58,172 --> 00:03:02,040 When have l ever denied you the right to be deceptified by me? 45 00:03:02,076 --> 00:03:04,203 When? Just name one. When? When? 46 00:03:04,245 --> 00:03:05,872 The picnic. Remember that? 47 00:03:05,913 --> 00:03:08,313 Are you gonna count every time l was stoned? 48 00:03:08,349 --> 00:03:09,976 We'll be here all night, then. 49 00:03:10,017 --> 00:03:12,679 OK, l just want to intervene here for one second... 50 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,952 because if you guys have just come here to assign blame... 51 00:03:16,991 --> 00:03:19,118 this is probably not a good place to do it. 52 00:03:19,159 --> 00:03:23,425 You know, it sounds to me like neither of you really understand... 53 00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:25,762 where the other one is coming from. 54 00:03:25,799 --> 00:03:29,098 So what l want you to do is switch roles. 55 00:03:29,136 --> 00:03:32,333 You need to walk a mile in the other man's shoes. 56 00:03:32,373 --> 00:03:35,365 - l ain't got no shoes. - Look, you know what l mean. 57 00:03:38,612 --> 00:03:43,276 l usually serve lunch to the inmates about now. l got the menu... 58 00:03:44,318 --> 00:03:46,752 Lockdown! 59 00:03:47,755 --> 00:03:51,088 That's a pretty good technique but generally l won't do a lockdown... 60 00:03:51,125 --> 00:03:54,117 unless there's a prison break or a race riot. 61 00:03:54,161 --> 00:03:55,924 Shut your damn mouth, Squidbill! 62 00:03:58,432 --> 00:04:01,959 l think you're missing the point of this exercise. 63 00:04:02,002 --> 00:04:04,664 l think you're missing the next three meals, mister! 64 00:04:04,705 --> 00:04:07,970 - Deputy Russell, put him in the hole. - Which hole you want him in? 65 00:04:08,008 --> 00:04:09,532 The tiny one! 66 00:04:09,576 --> 00:04:13,307 l don't think we learned one blessed thing. 67 00:04:13,347 --> 00:04:18,512 Did l tell you he sold my house? He sold my house! 68 00:04:18,552 --> 00:04:22,010 No, that... ls that true, Early? That can't be true. 69 00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:28,392 - Early? - He's talking to you, Haus. 70 00:04:28,429 --> 00:04:32,525 - Actually, l think he's talking to you. - Nobody gives a damn. 71 00:04:32,566 --> 00:04:35,000 This is what we're here for. Lockdown! 72 00:04:36,370 --> 00:04:39,771 - When can we stop this? - Shut your damn mouth, Squidman. 73 00:04:39,807 --> 00:04:43,402 OK, let's try another technique because l don't think it's working. 74 00:04:43,444 --> 00:04:46,538 - Let's try something else. - Yeah, we forgot to wet him down. 75 00:04:46,580 --> 00:04:48,741 Tell me where Mr. Joshua is! 76 00:04:49,850 --> 00:04:53,149 All right, look, l want you to take all those things... 77 00:04:53,187 --> 00:04:56,179 that are eating away inside, weighing you down... 78 00:04:56,223 --> 00:04:59,090 and l want you to pull them all out... 79 00:04:59,126 --> 00:05:01,390 and scream them out at the top of your lungs. 80 00:05:02,029 --> 00:05:03,428 - Sheriff. - Who, me? 81 00:05:03,464 --> 00:05:06,433 Yeah, just cut loose. Just get it all off your chest. 82 00:05:06,467 --> 00:05:09,231 This is a safe haven for both of you gentlemen. 83 00:05:09,269 --> 00:05:13,797 OK, well, you see, Early, well, he don't respect... 84 00:05:13,841 --> 00:05:16,401 Are you done? Everybody stand back. lt's my turn. 85 00:05:16,443 --> 00:05:17,933 - No. - l just called it. 86 00:05:17,978 --> 00:05:19,172 Don't you push me! 87 00:05:19,213 --> 00:05:22,649 You always push me into positions l don't like! 88 00:05:22,683 --> 00:05:28,644 l'm the law, and you break the law, and you still expect me to be your friend! 89 00:05:28,689 --> 00:05:31,123 How can l be who l am... 90 00:05:31,158 --> 00:05:33,991 and still be in a relationship with you? 91 00:05:34,028 --> 00:05:36,690 lt's always about you! 92 00:05:36,730 --> 00:05:39,563 You think you're the center of the universe... 93 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:45,038 and we ought to move the show to Friday head to head with CSl! 94 00:05:45,072 --> 00:05:48,872 Come on, you got to give a show time to find an audience... 95 00:05:48,909 --> 00:05:50,900 Hell, you know he can act. 96 00:05:50,944 --> 00:05:54,471 He played Doogie Howser for seven seasons. 97 00:05:55,282 --> 00:05:57,341 Excellent work, gentlemen, excellent. 98 00:05:57,384 --> 00:06:00,148 l think this is about as good as it gets, guys. 99 00:06:00,187 --> 00:06:02,417 No, no! Without us, they have no network! 100 00:06:02,456 --> 00:06:05,482 l've often wondered if l even do have a pair. 101 00:06:05,526 --> 00:06:07,858 Yes, of testicles! 102 00:06:07,895 --> 00:06:09,920 l've never seen 'em, no! 103 00:06:09,963 --> 00:06:14,491 And you dressed me in chiffon! Pretty, pretty chiffon. 104 00:06:14,535 --> 00:06:18,938 Well, guess what! l think l'm pregnant! Again! 105 00:06:18,972 --> 00:06:21,065 Thanks a lot, mama! 106 00:06:23,811 --> 00:06:26,712 - Well, that felt pretty good. - You're not pregnant. 107 00:06:26,747 --> 00:06:30,615 - You're a man. - You read my diary. You had no right! 108 00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:35,714 - My house, my rules. Too bad. - lt's not your house now! 109 00:06:35,756 --> 00:06:37,917 He's right about that. l sold it. 110 00:06:37,958 --> 00:06:41,291 - l really need to wrap this thing up. - Wait a minute. 111 00:06:41,328 --> 00:06:45,230 - Ain't l gonna get to yell or nothing? - Well... 112 00:06:45,265 --> 00:06:47,028 Sure, Early, go ahead. 113 00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:50,093 Gimme back my bullets! That smell! 114 00:06:51,138 --> 00:06:53,902 What the hell is that smell? 115 00:06:56,176 --> 00:06:57,234 Yeah. 116 00:06:58,445 --> 00:07:02,745 Do you have any concerns that are not really a Skynyrd deep cut? 117 00:07:04,518 --> 00:07:05,507 Yeah. 118 00:07:05,552 --> 00:07:08,453 Something has been kind of gnawing at me. Stand back. 119 00:07:09,656 --> 00:07:12,819 - Show me them titties! - Are you talking to my mama? 120 00:07:12,860 --> 00:07:14,418 lf she'll do it. Will she do it? 121 00:07:14,461 --> 00:07:16,827 - Probably will. - OK, l think we're all set here. 122 00:07:16,864 --> 00:07:18,491 What did you say? 123 00:07:18,532 --> 00:07:21,933 Never mind, mama. He ain't talking about you. 124 00:07:21,969 --> 00:07:24,199 Maybe l was. ls she fine? 125 00:07:24,238 --> 00:07:27,002 Are you kidding? She's a fox. 126 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:31,636 She's my mom, and l am very attracted to... 127 00:07:31,678 --> 00:07:34,704 Oh God, what is wrong with me?! 128 00:07:34,748 --> 00:07:36,773 OK, look, l want you two men... 129 00:07:36,817 --> 00:07:42,551 to work out your differences over here on this bed. 130 00:07:43,590 --> 00:07:45,490 Do you see where l'm going with this? 131 00:07:45,526 --> 00:07:47,494 You want to put these rubber sheets on the bed? 132 00:07:47,528 --> 00:07:51,624 Why don't l set up the video camera and l'll try to get some chicks on the horn. 133 00:07:51,665 --> 00:07:54,930 Wait a minute. What kind of therapist are you? 134 00:07:54,968 --> 00:07:56,765 What kind of therapist am l? 135 00:07:56,803 --> 00:08:02,867 Well, maybe it's possible that you've misconstrued my credentials. 136 00:08:02,910 --> 00:08:07,711 l mean, l'm not really a therapist. l'm the rapist. 137 00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:10,683 Everyone has made that mistake. 138 00:08:10,717 --> 00:08:13,185 That sign is very misleading. 139 00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:16,189 l like to separate work from family... 140 00:08:16,223 --> 00:08:19,454 so l got an office and l just come to work here. 141 00:08:19,493 --> 00:08:22,360 l rape and then l go home and l take care of the kids. 142 00:08:22,396 --> 00:08:25,797 - The whole thing is a write-off. - That's illegal, l believe. 143 00:08:25,832 --> 00:08:27,959 l don't think you can write off rapes. 144 00:08:28,001 --> 00:08:30,526 Well, so is rape. But that never stopped me. 145 00:08:30,571 --> 00:08:33,540 - l mean, l can't stop. - You could change your behavior... 146 00:08:33,574 --> 00:08:35,940 and that would, you know, stop all the raping. 147 00:08:35,976 --> 00:08:39,468 - You really think so, Mr. Freud? - lt's an idea. 148 00:08:39,513 --> 00:08:41,344 Come on, who's the doctor here? 149 00:08:42,149 --> 00:08:44,117 - l guess no one. - Bed's made! 150 00:08:44,151 --> 00:08:45,675 Weren't you going to call up... 151 00:08:45,719 --> 00:08:48,813 some damn good-ass looking women to get 'em naked over here? 152 00:08:48,855 --> 00:08:50,345 Well, l was trying to, but... 153 00:08:53,126 --> 00:08:56,892 Besides, women just really aren't that wild about the rapist. 154 00:08:56,930 --> 00:09:00,661 - You know what l'm saying? - l feel like l should arrest you. 155 00:09:00,701 --> 00:09:03,829 Well, you know, you're conflicted about arresting Early. 156 00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:07,033 What makes you think that you could possibly arrest me? 157 00:09:07,074 --> 00:09:09,042 Hold it right there. 158 00:09:11,712 --> 00:09:12,804 You got a point. 159 00:09:14,214 --> 00:09:18,651 - Girls never liked me neither. - You know, maybe that inadequacy... 160 00:09:18,685 --> 00:09:23,088 feeds your low self-esteem and enables your indecisiveness. 161 00:09:23,123 --> 00:09:26,854 - 'Cause you ain't got the nuts. - That's it, you're right. 162 00:09:26,893 --> 00:09:29,953 You know something, l been running scared my whole life. 163 00:09:29,997 --> 00:09:33,194 Well, not anymore. Nope, no more running. 164 00:09:33,233 --> 00:09:37,693 From this point on, the old sheriff is dead. 165 00:09:44,411 --> 00:09:46,777 That burns! Damn! 166 00:09:48,181 --> 00:09:51,673 - Well, that was embarrassing. - Yes, it was, and you know... 167 00:09:51,718 --> 00:09:54,710 l don't know, this seems like a good time to stop. 168 00:09:54,755 --> 00:09:57,781 Anytime would have been a good time to stop, because... 169 00:09:57,824 --> 00:10:00,258 as l said, l'm not really a therapist. 170 00:10:01,461 --> 00:10:02,985 That was unsatisfying. 171 00:10:03,030 --> 00:10:05,726 How about me and you go get crazy as hell on some ice. 172 00:10:05,766 --> 00:10:07,893 Early, how about we do this. 173 00:10:07,934 --> 00:10:13,372 You do whatever you want and l will try my hardest not to disturb you. 174 00:10:13,407 --> 00:10:16,399 No. lf l compromise with you... 175 00:10:16,443 --> 00:10:18,604 what kind of message does that send my boy? 176 00:10:18,645 --> 00:10:22,046 l'm as firm as red clay and as constant as... 177 00:10:23,016 --> 00:10:26,543 drinking. l'm constantly drinking. 178 00:10:29,623 --> 00:10:31,921 - No, thank you. l'm on the job. - Keep your eyes peeled. 179 00:10:31,958 --> 00:10:35,086 l'm gonna jimmy-jack this door and see what the hell l can get! 180 00:10:35,128 --> 00:10:36,322 Early... 181 00:10:37,331 --> 00:10:39,959 Listen, now, maybe we need to spend some time apart. 182 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:44,232 Don't be that way. l got a homemade pipe bomb! 183 00:10:45,105 --> 00:10:49,269 Chock full of nails! Gonna take down the government. 184 00:10:49,309 --> 00:10:52,073 You know what? You just take down everything you want! 185 00:10:52,713 --> 00:10:54,146 l can't change you. 186 00:10:56,016 --> 00:11:00,646 Gonna make my voice heard, get the old flag back! 187 00:11:03,223 --> 00:11:06,090 Ultra conservative zealotry! 188 00:11:11,498 --> 00:11:12,522 Call me! 189 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:20,000 Subtitles by BloodLogic 190 00:11:20,050 --> 00:11:24,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 15969

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