All language subtitles for Squidbillies s01e03 School Days Fool Days.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,929 % My dreams are all dead and buried % 2 00:00:11,639 --> 00:00:15,803 % Sometimes l wish the sun would just explode % 3 00:00:16,944 --> 00:00:20,937 % When God comes and calls me to His kingdom % 4 00:00:21,749 --> 00:00:25,515 % l'll take all you sons of bitches when l go % 5 00:00:29,156 --> 00:00:30,589 - My turn. - Hell, no. 6 00:00:30,624 --> 00:00:33,787 - Man, let me drive that thing. Come on! - Do not touch the trim! 7 00:00:36,197 --> 00:00:39,166 Nothing binds a father and a son more closely... 8 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:44,433 than the truth behind the decapitated hooker in the rec room. 9 00:00:44,472 --> 00:00:47,999 But peewee sports are good at that, too. 10 00:00:48,042 --> 00:00:52,035 Now, Russell, l know your nerves must be a-jingle-jangling about right now. 11 00:00:52,079 --> 00:00:54,104 l just don't want to let you down, daddy. 12 00:00:54,148 --> 00:00:55,911 Son, it ain't about that. 13 00:00:55,950 --> 00:00:58,510 lt's about getting out there and having some fun! 14 00:00:58,552 --> 00:01:02,545 Now, you remember that motivatical cheer me and you come up with? 15 00:01:02,590 --> 00:01:06,390 - Win or you'll whup my ass? - Correct. Hands in, on three. 16 00:01:06,427 --> 00:01:07,792 One... 17 00:01:11,198 --> 00:01:12,563 One? 18 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:15,262 - One! Win or l'll whup your ass! - Win or you'll whup my ass! 19 00:01:15,302 --> 00:01:18,066 Wait a minute, boy. Don't forget your face protectings. 20 00:01:18,105 --> 00:01:20,335 l'm sorry, daddy, l never played soccer before. 21 00:01:20,374 --> 00:01:23,537 And you ain't never going to! Now, get in there and fight like a cock! 22 00:01:25,079 --> 00:01:28,742 Let the ground spew forth 1,000 geysers of blood... 23 00:01:28,783 --> 00:01:30,011 Where's the ball? 24 00:01:30,050 --> 00:01:34,111 ...as these furious, pumped-up cocks erupt in massive violence. 25 00:01:34,155 --> 00:01:38,489 - l don't like soccer, Daddy. - Place your bets. All windows are open. 26 00:01:38,526 --> 00:01:41,017 Only one will survive. 27 00:01:42,463 --> 00:01:44,431 Get a goal for your daddy now. 28 00:01:44,565 --> 00:01:49,730 l'm gonna put me down this many on that there eight-legged chicken to lose. 29 00:01:50,037 --> 00:01:51,732 lt's the 5-0! Griffin! 30 00:01:52,773 --> 00:01:54,331 To Beldendorf! 31 00:01:55,276 --> 00:01:57,369 Wait a minute. Where's everybody going? 32 00:01:57,411 --> 00:01:59,072 This looks like a good'n. 33 00:02:02,249 --> 00:02:03,375 Finish him! 34 00:02:03,417 --> 00:02:05,647 - Sheriff? - Oh, no. Rusty? 35 00:02:05,686 --> 00:02:08,883 - You all right? - Hell, yeah. 36 00:02:10,591 --> 00:02:11,580 No. 37 00:02:12,726 --> 00:02:13,886 Finish him! 38 00:02:15,362 --> 00:02:16,351 Hell. 39 00:02:19,266 --> 00:02:22,702 ls that Rusty? lt's Rusty, ain't it? 40 00:02:22,736 --> 00:02:29,437 - Hey, Rusty. - Hey, Granny. 41 00:02:30,711 --> 00:02:32,906 - Hiya, Rusty. - All right, woman. 42 00:02:34,315 --> 00:02:36,078 Now, get on back to the home where they want you. 43 00:02:36,116 --> 00:02:39,882 - l'm saying hey. - And say hey to that oxygen tank for me. 44 00:02:41,055 --> 00:02:43,421 - You mean Barry? - Whatever the name is. 45 00:02:43,457 --> 00:02:47,894 Hey, Barry. l ran into Rusty, and he wanted me to tell... 46 00:02:47,928 --> 00:02:49,828 How you doing, Early? Lil? 47 00:02:49,864 --> 00:02:53,595 Would y'all care to know where l found your boy here? 48 00:02:53,634 --> 00:02:56,068 - Nope. - OK. 49 00:02:56,103 --> 00:02:58,537 - How about you, Early? - Oh, yeah! 50 00:02:58,572 --> 00:03:02,838 How was Disneyland, Rusty? Hell, that sounds nice. 51 00:03:02,877 --> 00:03:05,641 Did you run about with that Doofy and Marty Mouse? 52 00:03:05,679 --> 00:03:09,581 Yeah, we did all that, but that's not why l come up here. 53 00:03:15,856 --> 00:03:17,619 Why did l come up here? 54 00:03:17,658 --> 00:03:20,786 l was having such a good time in Disneyland. 55 00:03:20,828 --> 00:03:23,319 l rode the hell out of Disneyland. 56 00:03:23,364 --> 00:03:28,233 Now they're all looking at me. Waiting for me. 57 00:03:28,269 --> 00:03:31,397 l'll respond to them in their earth language, l guess. 58 00:03:32,740 --> 00:03:34,503 - Yes. - OK then. 59 00:03:34,541 --> 00:03:37,135 Get off my land, OK? Have a good'n. 60 00:03:37,177 --> 00:03:38,474 One other thing, Early. 61 00:03:38,512 --> 00:03:40,810 - Your boy needs to be in school. - School?! 62 00:03:40,848 --> 00:03:45,376 Ain't that the damn place where they got all them, let's see, what you call them... 63 00:03:45,419 --> 00:03:48,513 fold-outs, covered in scribblings, wrote up all over? 64 00:03:48,555 --> 00:03:51,524 - Books? - No, no. Like square, like a magazine. 65 00:03:51,558 --> 00:03:54,618 - Books, Early. - No, not that, but something like that. 66 00:03:54,662 --> 00:03:58,428 - l want to say boo-- - Look, look, look. 67 00:03:58,465 --> 00:04:02,094 All l know is that if you don't get Rusty in school... 68 00:04:02,136 --> 00:04:06,470 the Board of Education is going to come up here and kick my ass... 69 00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:10,408 and l'm going to come up here and kick your ass. 70 00:04:10,444 --> 00:04:12,036 This ass. 71 00:04:13,614 --> 00:04:15,081 School days, fool days! 72 00:04:15,115 --> 00:04:17,982 Hell, l couldn't tell you half the mess l learnt in school. 73 00:04:19,219 --> 00:04:22,655 % A, b, c, d, e, f, b % 74 00:04:22,690 --> 00:04:27,286 % C, d, e, f, b % 75 00:04:27,328 --> 00:04:30,923 % E, d, e, f, b % 76 00:04:30,965 --> 00:04:34,230 % A, b, c, d, e, f, b % 77 00:04:34,268 --> 00:04:36,600 All right, put them on the hood and spread them. 78 00:04:36,637 --> 00:04:39,197 Come on, Sheriff. That's a damn record! 79 00:04:39,239 --> 00:04:43,232 l never did find out what comes after the ''f.'' 80 00:04:44,111 --> 00:04:46,807 Right. We can't send him down to the county school... 81 00:04:46,847 --> 00:04:51,045 because if we keep segregating there, it's gonna be nothing but bathrooms, but... 82 00:04:51,085 --> 00:04:52,416 maybe you should consider... 83 00:04:52,453 --> 00:04:56,651 You ain't inseminating l keep him here, are you? Oh, no. No, no. Hell, no! 84 00:04:56,690 --> 00:05:00,922 - Well, homeschooling is an option. - What the hell's in it for me? 85 00:05:00,961 --> 00:05:01,985 Money. 86 00:05:02,029 --> 00:05:05,965 Today, we's learning about rocks. They's all kinds of rocks. 87 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:10,699 These is rocks which you throw. These here is rocks that you get hit by. 88 00:05:10,738 --> 00:05:12,831 - Damn, daddy! - And this here one... 89 00:05:13,607 --> 00:05:15,973 is what we call a tooth. 90 00:05:16,010 --> 00:05:19,605 Now l'm fixing to take attendance. Here we go. 91 00:05:27,654 --> 00:05:30,248 Boy, do you want to pass this class or what? 92 00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:32,656 Yes, l do, daddy. l would like that very much. 93 00:05:32,693 --> 00:05:37,289 All right, then. When l say Rusty, you say, ''here.'' 94 00:05:37,331 --> 00:05:40,027 All right? Rusty? 95 00:05:43,437 --> 00:05:47,066 Now on to history. What just happened? 96 00:05:49,043 --> 00:05:50,408 l don't know. 97 00:05:50,444 --> 00:05:54,813 Well, hell, l don't know neither. Must be a repossessed memory. 98 00:05:54,848 --> 00:05:56,713 Damn you, party liquor! 99 00:06:01,288 --> 00:06:05,691 Now, Rusty, read me something out loud from the assigned text. 100 00:06:05,726 --> 00:06:06,818 Yes, sir. 101 00:06:06,860 --> 00:06:11,160 ''They paint these walls to hide my pen... 102 00:06:11,198 --> 00:06:13,894 ''but this house poet strikes again.'' 103 00:06:13,934 --> 00:06:16,926 ''But this house poet strikes again.'' 104 00:06:16,970 --> 00:06:22,203 Now what do you think this house poet meant by that? 105 00:06:22,242 --> 00:06:25,575 Well, maybe he feels oppressed by an Orwellian overlord... 106 00:06:25,612 --> 00:06:29,139 so he lashes out with guerrilla-style poetry and whatnot. 107 00:06:29,183 --> 00:06:32,152 Yeah, l guess you could go that way with it. 108 00:06:32,186 --> 00:06:34,814 - Continue on with the text. - Yes, sir. 109 00:06:34,855 --> 00:06:40,293 - ''For a good bj, call 555-0169.'' - Wait, hold on now! 110 00:06:41,161 --> 00:06:43,186 Go ahead and repeat that last stanza again. 111 00:06:43,230 --> 00:06:46,825 - 0169. - 0169. 112 00:06:47,634 --> 00:06:50,728 Hello? Are you calling about the bj? 113 00:06:50,771 --> 00:06:55,970 - l gives the best bj in town, bar none. - That be blackberry or blueberry? 114 00:06:56,009 --> 00:07:00,878 Boysenberry jam, dumb ass. Them other ones is out of season. 115 00:07:00,914 --> 00:07:03,474 Nope, sorry. Boysenberries gives me the hives. 116 00:07:03,517 --> 00:07:04,643 All right. 117 00:07:05,552 --> 00:07:10,148 How about l suck your... dry behind the dumpster at the Sip 'n Strut? 118 00:07:11,191 --> 00:07:13,557 Get your stuff, son. We got us a field trip. 119 00:07:14,228 --> 00:07:18,892 Now this here is a field and you is gonna take a trip. 120 00:07:18,932 --> 00:07:22,197 - But that's just a damn well, Daddy. - Correct. 121 00:07:30,077 --> 00:07:31,544 lf you get out, you pass. 122 00:07:31,578 --> 00:07:32,977 Did you throw his ass... 123 00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:45,692 - ...down the well? l'm sorry. - Sure did. 124 00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:49,253 Well, l hope he gets out of there because tonight's the prom. 125 00:07:50,164 --> 00:07:52,689 l remember my first prom. 126 00:07:53,834 --> 00:07:57,326 Would you like to dance with me? 127 00:07:57,371 --> 00:08:01,034 l said, do you sumbitches want to dance?! 128 00:08:01,074 --> 00:08:02,701 Take him down! 129 00:08:04,711 --> 00:08:07,908 l sure hope l get laid. 130 00:08:07,948 --> 00:08:10,382 Me, too, granny. Me, too. 131 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,886 - Did l pass? - Pass what? 132 00:08:15,923 --> 00:08:18,585 The field trip! 133 00:08:18,625 --> 00:08:22,425 Nope! Now get your ass washed up, son. lt's prom night. 134 00:08:27,534 --> 00:08:30,469 Rusty, we've learned a hell of a lot over this past day... 135 00:08:30,504 --> 00:08:34,099 and you got finals tomorrow, and after that, the future is limited... 136 00:08:34,141 --> 00:08:37,804 only by damn foreigners what come here and took up all the damn jobs... 137 00:08:37,844 --> 00:08:41,075 and you can't shoot them because then you're the one at fault! 138 00:08:41,114 --> 00:08:42,342 No offense, Ting Tong. 139 00:08:43,984 --> 00:08:46,214 Hell! He's interpretating that all wrong. 140 00:08:46,253 --> 00:08:48,721 - Give me them damn flags! - Excuse me. 141 00:08:48,755 --> 00:08:50,484 l'll show you how to flag dance! 142 00:08:54,962 --> 00:08:58,159 You two are just the cutest. 143 00:08:58,198 --> 00:09:02,567 You mind if l steal him for just a little bit of this dance? 144 00:09:02,603 --> 00:09:05,595 l'm afraid this handsome fella here is taken. 145 00:09:06,607 --> 00:09:08,700 l just got sassed by a whore! 146 00:09:08,742 --> 00:09:12,576 - Back off, you old bitch! He is mine! - Yeah, it's on! 147 00:09:14,548 --> 00:09:17,608 Let's see what kind of whore moves you got. 148 00:09:17,651 --> 00:09:18,811 Taste the steel! 149 00:09:23,757 --> 00:09:25,281 Oh, yeah. 150 00:09:28,495 --> 00:09:30,656 Ting Tong, you want to dance? 151 00:09:30,697 --> 00:09:32,722 Prom's over! Pop quiz! 152 00:09:33,634 --> 00:09:36,398 All right, Russell. How's it going in there, son? 153 00:09:36,436 --> 00:09:39,837 Well, pretty good exceptin' there ain't no paper. 154 00:09:39,873 --> 00:09:42,535 Now you are square over the hole, ain't you? 155 00:09:44,544 --> 00:09:46,478 Damn! Can l start this thing over? 156 00:09:46,513 --> 00:09:48,538 Get out here and take your damn finals! 157 00:09:50,017 --> 00:09:52,451 - ls this the test? - Yes, son. 158 00:09:52,486 --> 00:09:54,818 Now there's something you're supposed to do... 159 00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:56,720 when that train gets barreling on you. 160 00:09:56,757 --> 00:10:00,284 You can stay on the tracks, or you can m-- 161 00:10:02,996 --> 00:10:04,156 Malt liquor! 162 00:10:05,198 --> 00:10:08,531 - Mufflers! - Come on, Rusty. You can do it. 163 00:10:08,568 --> 00:10:11,401 Motascribularmultablisade. 164 00:10:11,438 --> 00:10:14,703 - Mecklegriffleso? - Remember what l learned you, son! 165 00:10:14,741 --> 00:10:17,801 - l ain't no good at tests! - Damn, boy, why don't you just move? 166 00:10:17,844 --> 00:10:20,404 Shut up, bitch! You want to give it away? Come on, son! 167 00:10:20,447 --> 00:10:23,814 No! l want to live! l want to live! l want to live, l want to live! 168 00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:27,547 - You passed, boy! - l did? l did! 169 00:10:27,587 --> 00:10:30,613 Hell, yeah! l'm a high-school congratulate. 170 00:10:30,657 --> 00:10:34,058 - Graduations, Rusty. - Ain't nothing gonna stop me now... 171 00:10:34,094 --> 00:10:37,291 but my innate inabilitry to progress cognacious thunk. 172 00:10:37,331 --> 00:10:40,323 All rightie-doody! Now where's that money check? 173 00:10:40,367 --> 00:10:42,130 Come to your daddy. Come on. 174 00:10:42,169 --> 00:10:44,933 - Well, hell, Early, l gave that to Granny. - What the hell?! 175 00:10:44,971 --> 00:10:47,166 Well, l mean, she said she was the principal. 176 00:10:47,207 --> 00:10:50,005 She was the damn tennis coach! What kind of damn... 177 00:10:55,000 --> 00:11:00,000 Subtitles by BloodLogic 178 00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:04,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 14473

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