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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,929 % My dreams are all dead and buried % 2 00:00:11,639 --> 00:00:15,803 % Sometimes l wish the sun would just explode % 3 00:00:16,944 --> 00:00:20,937 % When God comes and calls me to His kingdom % 4 00:00:21,749 --> 00:00:25,515 % l'll take all you sons of bitches when l go % 5 00:00:29,356 --> 00:00:32,325 - My turn. - Come on! 6 00:00:32,359 --> 00:00:33,621 Don't touch the trim! 7 00:00:42,136 --> 00:00:44,036 % Talking to your lover % 8 00:00:45,973 --> 00:00:51,104 % Pour me a glass of rum % 9 00:00:51,145 --> 00:00:53,477 % Open the door % 10 00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:58,513 % l need a lover % 11 00:00:58,552 --> 00:01:00,747 There's nothing more stupid on Earth... 12 00:01:00,788 --> 00:01:05,384 than the love between an uneducated squid and his illegitimate son. 13 00:01:08,395 --> 00:01:10,955 - Do it again, boy! - l'll do it right again right now. 14 00:01:10,998 --> 00:01:14,729 Right. Look here. Make sure you checkify and lookifize your blind spot. 15 00:01:14,769 --> 00:01:15,758 Yes, sir! 16 00:01:19,774 --> 00:01:22,106 Hell, yeah! Did you like that? Did l do it, daddy? 17 00:01:22,143 --> 00:01:25,203 l'm so damn proud of you, son. Hell, do it again. Let's go. 18 00:01:25,246 --> 00:01:27,976 Early, come in here. l fried up a mess of mud. 19 00:01:28,015 --> 00:01:31,815 Look here. Guess who just learned hisself some parallel parking? 20 00:01:35,456 --> 00:01:37,549 - Rusty? - What the...?! Me, you dumb bitch. 21 00:01:37,591 --> 00:01:39,024 Mud's getting cold. 22 00:01:39,059 --> 00:01:41,960 l don't want no more fried mud. l want a grape popsicle. 23 00:01:41,996 --> 00:01:44,931 - l don't want no mud... - Settle down, Rusty. 24 00:01:44,965 --> 00:01:47,365 l told you once, l don't want no more mud. 25 00:01:47,401 --> 00:01:50,029 - Give me something different. - Rusty! 26 00:01:50,838 --> 00:01:52,271 Grape damn popsicle. 27 00:01:52,306 --> 00:01:55,639 Lil, looks like we got us a damn connoisseur over here. 28 00:01:55,676 --> 00:01:59,077 - So you want a grape popsicle? - Yes, sir. 29 00:01:59,113 --> 00:02:02,207 How about l shove a pine stick up your ass and make you a boysicle? 30 00:02:02,249 --> 00:02:06,276 - How'd you like that mess? - No, sir. 31 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,380 Well, Rusty, you want yourself some real gourmet food... 32 00:02:09,423 --> 00:02:12,551 then why don't you try working yourself a real damn job. 33 00:02:12,593 --> 00:02:15,391 Ain't you got a real job, daddy? 34 00:02:17,131 --> 00:02:19,622 - What time is it? - About 2:30. 35 00:02:20,434 --> 00:02:22,163 What the...?! Damn! 36 00:02:22,203 --> 00:02:24,967 l'm two days and six hours late for work. 37 00:02:25,005 --> 00:02:28,736 % Work, work, work, work % 38 00:02:33,147 --> 00:02:36,207 % Ready, going to work % 39 00:02:36,250 --> 00:02:39,014 % You're late, you're late, you're late % 40 00:02:42,590 --> 00:02:45,081 Even an ex-con needs a second chance. 41 00:02:45,125 --> 00:02:48,686 Fortunately for Early, his boss believed in forgiveness. 42 00:02:48,729 --> 00:02:52,165 And this here is the lmmaculate Conceptor. 43 00:02:52,199 --> 00:02:56,568 lt's got special heavenly coils that'll make you sleep for three days. 44 00:02:56,604 --> 00:03:01,132 Then you will arise rested and refreshed. And if you ain't completely satisfied... 45 00:03:01,175 --> 00:03:04,633 you will experience the second coming of your cash or store credit. 46 00:03:04,678 --> 00:03:08,409 - Great. We're just looking, thanks. - Well, look at this here. Yeah! 47 00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:10,679 Look at this. Egyptian cotton. 48 00:03:10,718 --> 00:03:13,414 l know the slaves made it but hell, they got away. 49 00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:16,514 That's OK. You know, we're not big, you know, sleepers. 50 00:03:16,557 --> 00:03:18,024 You could be, believe it. 51 00:03:18,058 --> 00:03:22,392 Baptimize yourself in total comfort as you part the bad seed... 52 00:03:22,429 --> 00:03:25,523 - OK, well, we need to go. - Come on back here, Jerry. Looky here. 53 00:03:25,566 --> 00:03:28,057 - Steve, actually. - What's this look like? 54 00:03:29,036 --> 00:03:31,027 - Water? - Yes, yes. 55 00:03:31,071 --> 00:03:33,733 But it could be wine. You know, the kind she makes... 56 00:03:33,774 --> 00:03:35,639 when the mood is getting just right? 57 00:03:35,676 --> 00:03:37,906 - Yeah, l know... - What l'm saying, Jerry... 58 00:03:37,945 --> 00:03:41,676 When she gets to saying, ''Ooh, Daddy! Big Daddy Jerry, yeah!'' 59 00:03:41,715 --> 00:03:44,445 - Well, we got to go. - Gimme this here! 60 00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:47,283 - Now, we gonna give it a test spank. - You hold on just a minute. 61 00:03:47,321 --> 00:03:50,347 You gotta watch, otherwise, l ain't gonna get off! 62 00:03:50,391 --> 00:03:54,088 Before we do this, l am gonna need a major credit card. 63 00:03:54,128 --> 00:03:57,495 Brother Early, a word, please. 64 00:03:57,531 --> 00:03:59,999 Preacher says, ''lt ain't working out.'' So l said... 65 00:04:00,034 --> 00:04:03,265 ''Read the Bible? l'll feed you the damn Bible!'' 66 00:04:03,304 --> 00:04:07,502 - Hot damn, Daddy, you did that? - You did not. 67 00:04:07,541 --> 00:04:09,532 Then what happened? 68 00:04:10,577 --> 00:04:14,206 Oh, yeah. That's when l brought him down with the riot baton. 69 00:04:14,248 --> 00:04:17,342 l run for a spell, but... You caught me, didn't you, old man? 70 00:04:17,384 --> 00:04:20,751 Sure did, Early. Your legs ain't what they used to be. 71 00:04:20,788 --> 00:04:23,382 - l can still kick. - All right, all right. 72 00:04:23,424 --> 00:04:25,449 Get the keys, Rusty! Get the damn keys! 73 00:04:25,492 --> 00:04:28,052 - l'm wild! - Of course you are. 74 00:04:28,095 --> 00:04:32,464 But, Early, you know you're violating parole if you're not gainfully employed. 75 00:04:32,499 --> 00:04:35,832 Take his ass back to jail, Sheriff. He's too damn dumb to be free. 76 00:04:35,869 --> 00:04:37,928 - Mind your mouth, woman. - l ain't afraid of you. 77 00:04:37,972 --> 00:04:39,997 - You want to die, woman? - Come on! 78 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,200 Just let me at her. 79 00:04:41,241 --> 00:04:45,041 - Come on, Froggy, jump! - Knock it off, you two. 80 00:04:45,079 --> 00:04:47,138 Law is law... 81 00:04:47,181 --> 00:04:48,910 All right, l've seen enough. 82 00:04:50,050 --> 00:04:54,043 - Come on, let's go back into town. - Daddy, you ain't going back to prison? 83 00:04:54,088 --> 00:04:58,388 At that moment, Early realized it was too late to get an abortion. 84 00:04:58,425 --> 00:05:02,521 Well, hell, l reckon not, Rusty. 85 00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:05,327 Fetch me my formal attire. 86 00:05:05,366 --> 00:05:09,598 The time has come to matriculate myself unto a real job. 87 00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:15,304 - ''Where do l see myself in five beers?'' - Years. Years. 88 00:05:15,342 --> 00:05:17,537 l don't know. Jail? 89 00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:20,172 - Well... - Don't say jail. 90 00:05:20,214 --> 00:05:21,806 Prison. 91 00:05:21,849 --> 00:05:25,148 Well, hell, how hard could it be? lt ain't brain surgery. 92 00:05:25,185 --> 00:05:29,519 - lt is brain surgery. - l got a knife. Where's the brain at? 93 00:05:29,556 --> 00:05:31,148 Early! 94 00:05:31,191 --> 00:05:34,752 - How hard could this be? lt ain't rocket... - Let's just go. 95 00:05:34,795 --> 00:05:37,992 Early. Hey, Early. Stop it! 96 00:05:38,032 --> 00:05:40,660 That there's my first impression, right there! 97 00:05:40,701 --> 00:05:43,568 Early, meeting. 98 00:05:44,772 --> 00:05:48,970 - Meeting? - Oh, well. Damn, l'm sorry. 99 00:05:49,009 --> 00:05:52,706 Good morning. My name's Early, and l'm a real book nut. 100 00:05:52,746 --> 00:05:56,182 As you can tell by your face there, l'm very highly motivated. 101 00:05:56,216 --> 00:05:58,878 - l got boundless energy... - Yeah, maybe we should go. 102 00:05:58,919 --> 00:06:01,615 When can l expect to hear something? 103 00:06:01,655 --> 00:06:03,088 Hello? 104 00:06:03,123 --> 00:06:06,217 So l debarked from my previous emploratorium... 105 00:06:06,260 --> 00:06:12,062 to encrotch upon more moneyfied situlations like this here opportronity. 106 00:06:12,099 --> 00:06:14,033 - l seen your sign... - Brother Early! 107 00:06:14,068 --> 00:06:16,798 l fired you! 108 00:06:17,671 --> 00:06:19,229 Just yesterday. 109 00:06:20,274 --> 00:06:22,765 Wonderful. So you have an opening, then. 110 00:06:22,810 --> 00:06:28,373 l have a restraining order. May God have mercy on your soul. 111 00:06:28,415 --> 00:06:30,906 Who's the sumbitch told you that? 112 00:06:30,951 --> 00:06:32,782 Where do you keep getting these things? 113 00:06:32,820 --> 00:06:35,516 Mind your business. This here's a tense negotionation. 114 00:06:36,256 --> 00:06:41,216 l do apprecianate the generous offer, but knifery is the tool of a idiot. 115 00:06:41,261 --> 00:06:44,697 l listen to my gut, and my gut tells me that this ain't a fit... 116 00:06:44,731 --> 00:06:48,258 but my heart says this could work and gut's a damn moron. 117 00:06:48,302 --> 00:06:51,601 So they get to carrying on, and then my brain chimes in... 118 00:06:51,638 --> 00:06:56,268 and sayin' l got to try my hand at the fast sex-paced world of adult literature. 119 00:06:56,310 --> 00:07:00,542 This here's a four-figure opportunity. You sure you don't want to sleep on it? 120 00:07:00,581 --> 00:07:03,641 You want to sleep forever? l said adult literature. 121 00:07:16,230 --> 00:07:19,757 Read this erotic sumbitch here. Read it slow. 122 00:07:22,469 --> 00:07:25,438 l believe that's an ampersand. 123 00:07:28,008 --> 00:07:29,566 Does that get you hot? 124 00:07:29,610 --> 00:07:34,013 - You know, l prefer mysteries. - Damn computers! 125 00:07:34,748 --> 00:07:37,239 ''Just stay perfectly still.'' 126 00:07:38,285 --> 00:07:41,015 What the hell kind of job is that? 127 00:07:41,955 --> 00:07:43,081 Let's talk benefits. 128 00:07:44,892 --> 00:07:48,794 Look at my damn mouth. Hell, l ain't paying for dental. 129 00:07:49,796 --> 00:07:52,162 So, under experience... 130 00:07:52,199 --> 00:07:55,726 you've listed here, on your hat-shaped resume... 131 00:07:55,769 --> 00:08:01,002 that you can skin a buck, run a trout line, and that all your rowdy friends... 132 00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:03,710 Are coming over tonight. Yes, sir. 133 00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:07,510 Early, you're the most impressive squid l've interviewed for this position. 134 00:08:07,548 --> 00:08:10,517 Let's talk briefly about your work ethic. 135 00:08:10,551 --> 00:08:14,419 Well, l don't think ethnics do no work. l mean, that's they problem, really. 136 00:08:14,454 --> 00:08:16,752 lf you ain't like me, go hang from a damn tree. 137 00:08:16,790 --> 00:08:19,190 Overt racial prejudice. 138 00:08:19,226 --> 00:08:20,921 lmpressive, Early. 139 00:08:20,961 --> 00:08:22,622 - l thank you kindly. - Certainly. 140 00:08:22,663 --> 00:08:26,064 And your reference checks out. 141 00:08:26,099 --> 00:08:28,067 Hello, over there. 142 00:08:28,101 --> 00:08:33,038 l think what most impresses me, Early, is the effort in detail... 143 00:08:33,073 --> 00:08:36,873 which you've clearly shown in urinating on my laptop. 144 00:08:36,910 --> 00:08:39,606 l don't care to consort with those of the robot race. 145 00:08:39,646 --> 00:08:42,843 And why would you? l think that covers it. 146 00:08:42,883 --> 00:08:46,580 Early, welcome to Dan Halen Sheetrock lnternational. 147 00:08:46,620 --> 00:08:50,454 - Congratulations. - What l gotta do? 148 00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:52,390 Well, you're my boss... 149 00:08:52,426 --> 00:08:57,830 and as CEO you'll have certain responsibilities, like showing up... 150 00:08:57,864 --> 00:08:59,855 and leaving... 151 00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:04,599 and accepting liability for certain class-action lawsuits... 152 00:09:04,638 --> 00:09:08,836 that may or may not, and in fact currently are being levied... 153 00:09:08,875 --> 00:09:10,843 against new products such as... 154 00:09:10,877 --> 00:09:12,902 The pocket surgeon! 155 00:09:12,946 --> 00:09:15,915 Just scrape the rust from the collapsible tumor scoop and... 156 00:09:15,949 --> 00:09:18,679 Look, you won't have to know any of this stuff. 157 00:09:18,719 --> 00:09:21,847 - The point is, people are dumb. - ls my mind going on me... 158 00:09:21,888 --> 00:09:25,153 or am l watching you jibber jabber like some sort of jibberty box? 159 00:09:25,192 --> 00:09:27,854 - Jibber jabber on, jibber jabber on. - l'm sorry. 160 00:09:27,894 --> 00:09:32,160 l'm just a brash intern. lt won't happen again, sir. 161 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,233 Well, damn, now l feel bad. 162 00:09:36,270 --> 00:09:38,465 Tell you what, take the day off. 163 00:09:38,505 --> 00:09:40,336 Working with me, fire and ice. 164 00:09:40,374 --> 00:09:42,706 l gotta warn you, fire and ice. 165 00:09:43,810 --> 00:09:46,301 % He's a new CEO... % 166 00:09:46,346 --> 00:09:48,439 What Dan Halen didn't tell Early... 167 00:09:48,482 --> 00:09:52,009 was that he was hired to fill a minority management quota. 168 00:09:52,052 --> 00:09:54,680 % Oh, hell, hell, no % 169 00:09:54,721 --> 00:09:59,624 The previous token squid left to pursue other opportunities. 170 00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:03,756 Hello, excuse me. Can you help me, please? Look, sorry. 171 00:10:03,797 --> 00:10:06,322 Something smells like... 172 00:10:06,366 --> 00:10:09,802 Zesty ranch baby tacos! Now in man flavor. 173 00:10:09,836 --> 00:10:13,294 Product may or may not contain ground up remains of man in squid suit. 174 00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:15,001 10% by volume. Results may vary. 175 00:10:15,042 --> 00:10:17,306 lt's so delicious, l was glad to die for it. 176 00:10:17,344 --> 00:10:19,608 This is a paid actor who may or may not reflect... 177 00:10:19,646 --> 00:10:23,082 the feelings of the dead Mexican in squid suit you may or may not be eating. 178 00:10:23,116 --> 00:10:24,105 Enjoy responsibly. 179 00:10:25,218 --> 00:10:27,118 Early was bursting with pride... 180 00:10:27,154 --> 00:10:30,988 to announce his new management position with Dan Halen Sheetrock. 181 00:10:31,024 --> 00:10:35,484 Daddy's home and he done been jobulated and occupatized! 182 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:44,359 - Mud's on the stove. - Lil, put it back in the yard. 183 00:10:44,404 --> 00:10:45,996 We goin' out tonight. 184 00:10:46,039 --> 00:10:49,008 Except for you and you. 185 00:10:50,811 --> 00:10:54,144 Life is unexpected. 186 00:10:54,181 --> 00:10:56,274 No. Drop 'em. 187 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:05,000 Subtitles by BloodLogic 188 00:11:05,050 --> 00:11:09,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 15708

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