All language subtitles for Silicon.Valley.S04E08.The.Keenan.Vortex.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD.5.1.H.265-SiGMA

Hey, man, I don't know
who you think you are,

but you're not supposed
to be at this table.

I don't know who you think
you are,

but men aren't supposed
to grow tits, and yet,

there they are,
atop your little paunch.

Get outta there,
I wanna sit next to this guy!

(CHUCKLING)

MONICA:
So, Erlich, good news,

Keenan Feldspar
signed his term sheet.

Fantastic!

Hello, everyone.
I'm very excited to introduce...

The Box.

Last night was...

Worst sex I think I've ever had
by far.

If we could just close the deal?

If it's okay with Dan,
it's fine with me.

Richard, I need you
to look me in the eye,

and tell me that this
is gonna work.

'Cause if it doesn't
I'm completely fucked.

Erlich:
A little to the right.
The right more. More.

More. Woof! Aces.

We did it.
Busy?

Hey! Come on in.

I'm just putting
the finishing touches

on Bachman's
Operational Center.

Can you believe
that I talked the ladies

into letting me keep
that little piece
of genius in here?

Oh! Sweet.
Sweet indeed.
It's human hair.

Where have you been?
We've been trying
to close your deal.

Monica and Laurie
are really fighting me
on one final deal point,

and I was getting bummed,
so I turned my phone off,

went kitesurfing in Fiji.

When I got back,
I was chill again,

and I got a message
that they agreed.

So, you closed?

Yep!
What was that one little,
pesky deal point?

I think you're gonna like it.

(shouts)
Fuck yeah!

(theme music playing)

A keyman clause?

Yes, and said keyman is
none other than yours truly.

It's the highest honor
that you can bestow on a VC.

Wow. So, you get shares
in the company.

No.
So, you get a seat
on the board.

I do not.

A bonus?
There's no cash involved,

but if Monica or Laurie tries
to oust me from Bream-Hall,

Keenan Feldspar can void
the deal and walk.

So, basically, this new title
just means that you,

for sure, get to keep
your shitty desk job.

Congratulations,
but, Erlich,

can you please
turn on the heat?
It's freezing in here.

Tsk-tsk, Richard.
Negativity.

Hey, have you seen
Keenan's demo?

Reddit is
shitting itself over it.

Of course I've seen it.
I'm his keyman.

He gave me one
of the first opportunities
to shit myself over it.

It's that good?
Guys, come on.

How good can it be?
VR is just a fad.

Oh, Richard.
I've forgotten what an envious
little crone you can be.

Envious? Me? Of who?
Keenan Feldspar?

Of course. Keenan was born
with a golden horseshoe
up his ass,

while you sit here
toiling away in an icebox
you call your home office,

cursed with the Midas touch
of shit.

I'm not cursed,
and the icebox

you're referring to
is your house, okay?

(tab snaps)

What?

Uh, guys, I just got
a billing alert from Azure.

Apparently,
all of our cold data
has gone hot,

so we've already exceeded
our monthly server budget.

Monthly? Bullshit.
It's been four days.

What the fuck?

We have to store
Melcher's data there until
we have enough phones.

We can't afford this.

I'm gonna call Melcher.

Hey, Richard.
How we doing?

Is there something
going on with your data?

Because it was
basically parked
until a few hours ago

when it started flying on
and off our network like crazy.

Well, aren't you--
aren't you watching
the weather channel?

No, why?
Is there a hurricane
or something?

Worse. It's cold outside.
Okay. So?

California looses its mind
when it gets cold.

(on phone)
Citrus trees start freezing.

Sometimes there's
actual frost on the road,

you know, then people start
filing claims like crazy.

Our whole office is
going nuts right now.

(cart squeaking)
Richard:
Well, that kind

of data traffic
is costing us a fortune.

That's the beauty
of the deal we made, Richard.

You agreed to store
our data for a flat rate.

Everyone else in my division
is getting gouged

on their storage
and bandwidth fees
right now,

but thanks to you,
I look like a genius.

I'll tell Liz you say hi.
Oh. Oh no.

No, no, that's okay.

♪ ♪

What did he say?
He says hi.

And that we are responsible
for the overages.

Fuck!
Maybe you are cursed.

I'm not. That's ridiculous.
There's no such thing.

(snaps, fizzles)
Fucking what?

Richard, a bill of this size
is going to be problematic.

(sighs)
Dinesh:
Problematic?

Catastrophic.
We're not gonna be able
to pay that bill,

so our server's
gonna get cut off,
(pops, spraying)

which means
we're gonna lose
Melcher's data,

which means
he's gonna sue us

and seize our assets
and our patents,

and the entire future
of the fucking Internet

is gonna belong
to a fucking insurance company!

I can't take
this shit anymore!

Admit it!
We're fucked.

Okay, let's just think.
Let's just think.

Dan Melcher runs
a very conservative
insurance company,

but even he was
willing to pay us up front
for data storage, right?

True. Although,
that was complicated.

What?
It-- it's just a such
a in-the-weeds deal.

Point being,
we can find
another customer,

and then use
that upfront payment
to cover Melcher's fees.

That's like getting
a new credit card to pay off
your old credit card.

Yeah, and as CFO,
I should tell you we've
already done that seven times.

Look, I don't have
any moral issue
with any of that,

but it was hard enough
to get Melcher.

How the fuck
are we gonna get
a second Melcher?

(sighs)

(lighter flicking)
Richard:
It's cold out here.

Can almost see
my breath, huh?

What do you want?

Well, uh...

it's just that the guys
are a little agitated,

because we seem to be having
minor money troubles.

I was thinking since you
and Bream-Hall signed

such a big check
over to Keenan Feldspar

and since you are
his keyman,

maybe you could help
set up a data storage deal
like we had with Melcher?

Merely tens
of minutes ago,

you were rubbing VR's face
in a pile of its own make--

that means shit--

and now VR is supposed
to be your lifeboat?

Just to remind you,
Erlich, you are also
an investor in Pied Piper.

It would be good
for everyone,
including you.

Very well.

Fill me in on the details
of your little proposal.

Pitch.

What do you mean?

You-- you know the details.

You were there with me
for every single pitch meeting.

And I'm sorry
that I wasn't key
in those meetings,

so I don't recall
all of the little
nitty-gritty details.

(lighter flicks)

♪ ♪

...saving you 25 percent
on your data storage,

which makes us pretty deserving
of the Weissman trophy.

(laughing)
You know, the Heisman trophy
from athletics.

Dude.
This demo is insane.

Gentlemen, you're stepping
on Richard's laughs.

I'm sorry,
but I walked up a hill,

and on top of the hill,
there was a tavern.

And I walked
into the tavern

and I could
just look everywhere,
and there was a barmaid.

Guess what.
I walked right up
to the barmaid,

and I just looked at her
for a really long time.

This technology
could change the world.

I'm not one to gush,
but the possibilities

of your consequence-free reality
are darkly promising.

So stoked you guys
liked it. I hacked it
together last summer

and I just guessed right
on a lot of the details.

But if you think
that was cool,

wait till you see
our final hardware,

which is en route from China.

It's gorgeous.

Well, enjoy it
while it lasts,

just 'cause, you know,
this can be a tough business.

Is it?
So, Richard...

(claps hands)
...you wanna try the demo?

Uh, no thanks.
No, I'm-- I'm not a VR guy.

Richard doesn't like things
that are cool or fun
or taste good.

Plus, it makes him queasy.

He has a sensitive constitution.

Ah, come on.
You're gonna do it.

Look at him.
He's gonna do it.

It's gonna be awesome!
Come on! You're doing it!

Come on, come on.
After you.
Okay, sure. I guess. Fine.

(retches)

(toilet flushes)

(groans)

Wow.

You really vomited a lot...

and, like, immediately.
Yeah. Yeah.

Bad luck, I guess.
Yeah, so...
(clears throat)

Look, anyway,
about that data storage deal?

Oh. Yeah. If Erlich says
it works, that's good enough
for me. Let's do it.

Really? Okay.
Keenan:
Yeah.

Perfect. That's great.

Um... well,
I guess we should
get back to the house,

draw up some paperwork
for that.
Jared: Mm-hmm.

We should be able
to pull everything together
by Monday.

Is it cool if we hang out,
just to, like, play around
with the VR some more?

Okay, but I'm sure
Keenan's busy.

Nah!
You guys should stay.

You want a beer?
I just put in a fresh keg.

He put in a fresh keg.

It's so warm in here.
That would be
the subfloor heating.

I didn't even know I had it.

It just came with the house.

Gilfoyle:
That's nice.

What are you telling me?
Box Two is delayed?

We were already
facing some design
and production challenges,

but then this cold snap
happened.

Apparently there was frost
on the loading dock

at our microprocessor plant
in Acton.

So, it's cold outside.

Why does everyone
in this state have to be
such a wimp about it?

Well, a semitruck slid
right through the door
and hit the main breaker panel

and melted down
the entire facility.

The driver was incinerated,
instantly.

I see. Well, our thoughts
and prayers, obviously,

but we'll still be ready
to roll out in time

for Hoolicon, right?

Guys. Hey.
I'm not Gavin Belson.

You can be honest with me?
How many days will
this set us back?

We're going to miss
delivery of product...

by two quarters.

♪ ♪

You realize Hoolicon
is in one week, right?

I mean, it's my first Hoolicon
as CEO of this company.

I... I'm supposed
to get up on stage,

in front of an audience
of thousands,

and deliver a keynote
presentation built entirely

around the release of Box Two!

I was going to descend
onto the stage,

in a giant box.

Boom!

Jack-in-the-box.

Then Mike Tyson
and Floyd Mayweather

were gonna come out and box

over who was gonna get
to take home the first new box!

These are world-class puns!
Now I got nothing!

Hello?
(footsteps approach)

(laughs)
Hey, guys!

I have something to show you.

Have you been here
all weekend?
Is that the sushi guy?

(chuckles)
Matching pajamas.

You guys look
like you're in a cult.

Oh, Keenan gets these
for free.

Yeah, we're not
gonna wear the same thing
three days straight.

You gotta come
check this out.

This way!

♪ ♪

(exhales)

Wow. I didn't feel sick
at all, not once.

Not even going up
the hill?

No. No-- no nausea at all.

Yeah, I felt fine
the entire time.

What'd you do?
Did you reduce the latency?

I didn't. You did!

Dinesh and Gilfoyle
helped me integrate

your middle-out compression
algorithm into my codec.

I'm sorry. What?
It's off the charts now, man!

We were even able to push
the barmaid to the cloud.

These two guys
are mad geniuses.

Hang on.
I have something for ya.

Mm-hmm.

What the fuck?

You just gave
our proprietary technology

to this asshole
without even running it
by me first?

Are you serious?
We were just hanging out,

and he was like,
"We should try it,"
and he said we could delete it,

and then he started
getting really excited.

And then he said, you know,
"You're doing it,"
a bunch of times,

and then we did it.
And then we started
getting really excited,

and it was so exciting.
And it worked.

The VR is rad now.

Gilfoyle, "rad"?

You are wearing
the exact same pajamas
as Dinesh,

and you're saying
"rad" now?

You have been sucked
entirely into his little...
Keenan vortex.

Okay.

I grant you, with...
(clears throat)

the benefit of even
a second's distance,

this isn't a good look.

I don't know.
I think we look rad.

Just-- just
hear Keenan out, okay?

On what?
Here you go, Richard.

What's this?
It's an offer.

I want to acquire
Pied Piper.
Oh.

(scoffs)
(Keenan laughs)

♪ ♪

Bingo-- 2009,
the HooliPad touchscreen
was recalled

five days before Gavin Belson's
Hoolicon keynote.

Now, if he can pull
something together that fast,
certainly I can.

(keyboard clacking)
Well, sir, I really
don't see the value

in you comparing yourself
so closely to Gavin Belson.

Meaning what exactly?

Nothing. Just that...

he's considered
the greatest showman
the tech world has ever seen.

(keyboard clacks)

I mean,
just look at him.

We've blown away

the FIPS 140-2 standard
for security,

and that's been certified
by NIST/CSE, as you can see...

Jack: Wow.
...there.

(crowd cheering)
Look at the confidence,
the poise.

Look at the stage presence.

...is accessible--
here we go--

through the drop-down menu...

there.
How could I top that?

(crowd cheering)
Oh, I don't think
anyone ever will.

When he looked at you,
you felt like you were

the only two people
in the world.
Hoover.

Yes, sir.
(Gavin continues speaking)

Get the fuck
out of my office
this instant.

Hoover:
Sorry, sir.
(Gavin continues speaking)

Anyone here use
our enterprise server?

We've taken
secure authentication

to a whole other level.
Jack Barker...

you're gonna need a miracle.

Anyone care to talk
secure biometrics?

Well, considering
our looming debts,

and the embryonic state
of our network,

this is a very generous offer.

But we're not for sale, guys.

Richard, listen, it's like
we've been lost at sea

for a long time on a tiny boat,

and there is no wind.

And now, through sheer luck,

we've just happen to drift
right up to Hawaii.

Now, we can continue sailing
into the unknown,

and probably sink or die
of starvation or scurvy,

or we can get off in Hawaii.

Let's get off in Hawaii.

What's so good
about Hawaii?
Have you never been?

No.
It's very nice.

I think we should take it.

Okay, everything
Keenan touches turns to gold,

and you...

are different than that.

(door opens, closes)
I want to go to Hawaii.

Fucking Keenan Feldspar.

How dare he put me
in this position?

Everything just comes
so easy to him.

He invents one little thing,
and then he's gonna make
a billion dollars,

and just,
"Oh, Keenan Feldspar gets
whatever he wants,"

and now I have to be
the ogre that says no
to him. Great.

Richard, you are my captain,
and I'm your mate.

And I will sleep
in the bilge with the vermin,

and I will eat hardtack,
and I will say, "Thank you."

And if duty requires,
I will stand on deck,

and I will salute you
as we sink beneath the waves.

But as poor as our odds are,

I'm worried that
if we turn down this offer,

we will lose
the rest of our crew,

and if that happens,
you will lose everything,

Richard.
Your algorithm.

So, you're saying that

if I say no to this...

I risk having a mutiny
on my hands.

Aye, Captain.

Thanks.

(papers rustle)

(scoffs)

Fuck you,
Keenan Feldspar.

Whoa.
Problem?

Your counteroffer here
is really, really high.

Yes, but after crunching
the old numbies, um,

there's no way we could make
an acquisition work

for even just a penny less
than that number right there,

you know,
what with the patent
and the IP.

And you said yourself,
my guys are the best.

So, Keenan, as you know,
the best is expensive.

This is more than I just took
in funding from Bream-Hall,

and you want all cash.

I can't do that.
Really?

Oh... rats.
Rats, rats, rats.

(sighs)
Weird.

I wanted this to happen,
but it didn't.

That sucks.
I wanted it too,
very badly.

But, um... you know,
what they say in life,

"You can't always get
what you want."

This feeling sucks.

Trust me,
you get used to it.

♪ ♪

Gilfoyle:
Wait. Keenan said no?

To us?
I guess you can never
really know someone

until you ask them
to put their money
where their mouth is.

You know,
kind of a shitty thing to do.

Kind of a shitty
little dude.

Anyway, well,
lesson learned.

Anyhoo, as soon
as Erlich comes in

and brings us our signed
data storage contract

from Keenan, we'll be all set.
We'll be back in business.

Huh? Go team.
Let's celebrate.

Let's-- let's put on some music.
We never do that.

What was the number?

What number?
Your counteroffer
to Keenan.

What was the number
you went back to him with?

Well, Gilfoyle,
to be honest, these deals
are pretty complicated.

Richard, what was
the number?
(door opens)

Twenty-five million
fucking dollars.

(door closes)
Wait. What?

You heard
the man-child right.

Richie had the quail eggs
to counter 25 million.

Isn't that right, Richard?

What?
That's fucking crazy.

Yeah, I thought so too,

but you know what's
even crazier than that?

You guys got yourself
a fucking deal!

(laughs)
What?

Okay, so this
is $25 million?
This is real?

As crystal.
Yeah, I'm--
I'm not gonna lie,

when you first
told me that number,

I had a feeling of mad.

But then I had lunch,
and after that I was
a little tired,

but I mostly felt
pretty okay.

And that's when it hit me.

This is a guy who knows
how valuable he is!

It got me to thinking
that perhaps I had undervalued
my own company,

especially because now
I have this baller algorithm

that's solving
all my latency issues.

Well, my algorithm.
So, I called Big Cat here,

and we slid
that new demo
over to Raviga.

Ed Chen liked it so much,
he offered to triple
the Bream-Hall deal.

But the Bream-Hall deal
is signed. It's done, right?

Was done.
Enter the keyman,
the big cat.

You see, if I quit Bream-Hall,
then Keenan is free to do
whatever he wants.

You quit Bream-Hall?
Two hours ago.

Ten minutes later, we were
in a handshake deal at Raviga.

This adorable little wombat
made clear his intentions

that he wants me
to be the new COO

of his company, along with
a five percent stake.

And now,
we can all work together
on this dope-ass shit

and make a fuck-ton of money
while we're doing it!

See? It always
works out.

It does. Who's drinking?
To the palapa!
Yeah!

Pour me one, Big Cat!

Dinesh:
Jared, there's
no pink glasses!

Richard, I know you think
I'm a bullshit artist.

It's okay.
I totally am.

I have this gift
where I can make people do
whatever I want 'em to do,

and they don't even realize
they're doing it.
Right.

Richard, you have
the greatest technology
that I've ever seen.

You can change
the fucking world.

You just have to get
people excited about it.

That's where I come in.
You and me together, bro?

Look how strong this is.
Fucking forget about it.

We're gonna be
fucking cutting class
and crushing ass.

You really think
that you can get people
excited about Pied Piper?

Richard,
that's what I do.

You know you're doing it.
Oh, I can see it.
(chuckles)

He knows. The wheels
are already turning.
Well--

Maybe.
Come on,
you're fucking doing it!

Let's do it, buddy!
Let's fucking do it!
Okay. Yeah.

Come on!
Well, okay.

Jared, here we go.
Oh, I'm just gonna wait.

Okay, here you are.
Yeah!

Keenan:
Get out there! (laughs)

(panting)

Richard?
Richard: Yeah.

Are-- are we okay?

Uh, no, Jared,
we're-- we're not okay.

(crickets chirping)

We're fucking rich.

(cheering)
♪ When we come down
terrorizing your town ♪

♪ Running with my wolves,
and we out on the prowl ♪

♪ If you didn't know it,
you knowing it now ♪

♪ I'll always be
a motha-fucking
problem child ♪

♪ We the boys
everybody warned you about ♪

♪ I'm a problem child,
I be throwing tantrums ♪

Sorry, it's a bit nutty
around here.

Yeah. (clears throat)
Well, I just wanna say,

how sorry I am
that Erlich flaked
on you guys.

Not your fault.
Also... (clears throat)

and I know
this might piss you off
to some degree,

I have decided to make a deal
with Keenan Feldspar.

What? Why?

He made a...
really good offer.

Lots of money, and...
he's got my back, so.

Right, well,
it's not like him
to talk you into a deal

and then just
totally fuck you over.

Yeah. No.
Look, he's copped up
to all that.

I mean, he was
very honest about the whole
Keenan vortex thing, so.

Well, you don't think
his discussing the vortex

is just a way of pulling you
into the vortex?

No. Wh-why would he-- wh...

Son of a bitch.

Yeah.

Okay, look, Richard,

what I'm about to tell you
is a huge breach of ethics,

but it's gonna save you
from making a big mistake.

Keenan and Erlich's
little keyman game

is the greatest thing
that happened to this firm.

I'd like to hear why.
"A," no more Erlich.

And if that weren't enough,
we get our $20 million back.

But the biggest reason
is that we realized once
we took a look under the hood,

Keenan's tech is dog shit.

No. No, it's not dog shit.

I thought so too,
but then I tried the demo,

and it's pretty amazing.
There's this point
in the tavern,

uh, where you meet
this barmaid,

and you can look
wherever you want,

however long you want.

Yeah, well, um, look,
the demo is amazing...

when you run it
on a $10,000 rig.

But the future
of VR is mobile,

and there's no phone on Earth
that could handle that demo,

let alone
the full-bloated platform.

Isn't that why
Keenan has acquired us?

I mean, to help him
figure that out?

No, he just wants you
to make the demo better

so he can take as much money
off the table as he can.

He'll walk away rich,
the company will crater,

and you will
go down with it,

and that would be
the end of Pied Piper.

Richard, you have
to tell Keenan that you're
not gonna take this deal.

(sighs)

Fuck. What do I do?

How am I supposed
to tell the guys that I'm
taking away their payday?

You don't understand.
Keenan had us pouring champagne

all over each other like
a bunch of fucking douchebags.

I honestly don't think
they even care that
the tech is shit.

They just want
to go to Hawaii.

Hawaii?
It's a metaphor
we've been using.

We're pirates,
and our ship is sinking,

and Keenan is Hawaii.

This is what
you talk about all day?

Look. (clears throat)
This deal was our only hope,

and, with all due respect,
you run your own firm,

and you're not exactly
chomping at the chance
to fund us, are you?

Because you're
still theoretical.

Look, I'll make you a promise.
If you can get all
of Melcher's data

onto a stable network
of mobile devices

and prove that this works,

I will fund your "A" round.

Really?
You have my word,

but you have
to tell Keenan no deal.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Uh, guys?

Oh, he came
in the front this time.

Oh. (clears throat)
So, we need to talk to you.

You need to talk to me?

You may want
to have a seat.

Okay.

(clears throat)

Is that a new... sweater?

Hey, Richard,
there's some bad news.

Jared:
Richard, right before Keenan
signed the Raviga deal,

somebody else swooped in
and offered him

an absurd amount
of money for his company,

and he took it.
Really?

So, Keenan sold
his company.

Deal's off the table.

We're not going to Hawaii.

Oh... no.

Oh no.

Listen, Richard, we know
you fought really hard
for this deal.

We will never
forget that.

Yeah, I did,
and I would gladly fight

for it and you guys again.

Gosh damn.

Argh.

You don't seem that mad.

I am. I am, Gilfoyle.
I'm pissed.

If-- if you need to kick
another hole in the door,

we'd understand.
Oh yeah. No, I-- I might.

I might have to.
Really, I just...

If I don't calm down, I will.

I will take you up on that.

Who, uh...

Who did he sell to?
The only other company

that could guarantee viable
middle-out compression.

Hooli.
Gilfoyle:
Yup.

Hooli.
He sold to Hooli.

What a dick move.

Yeah, I mean,
that's not the half of it.

I mean, once he figured out
what Erlich's five percent
would be worth,

he left him out in the cold.

Wait. He-- he got Erlich
to quit his job

and then cut him
out of the deal?

Gilfoyle:
Mm-hmm.
Jesus.

We thought you were cursed,
but maybe it was just

your proximity to Erlich.

I mean, that dude
must've driven a van

over a bunch of gypsies
in a previous life.

Where is he?
I saw him grab
his lighter

and his bong and head out
to the palapa to sulk
a few minutes ago.

Isn't that
his bong right there?

Well, shit.

♪ ♪

(fire crackling)

Guys, there's a fire!

We need the fire guys.

Someone call
the fire guys!

(distantly)
Erlich!

(crackling)

(door opens)

Hey, buddy.

Still not talking, huh?

You've been out here
all night. It's freezing.

You sure you don't wanna
come back inside?

(sighs)

Yeah, it was
a nice palapa.

Well, concrete's still
pretty warm from the fire.

He should be okay
for at least a few more hours.

Well, that's probably longer
than we'll be in business.

Yeah, we got our first
past-due notice from Azure.

They said we have
five business days
till they cut us off.

If you guys
wanna feel worse...

check this out.

♪ ♪
Jack (on computer):
Come join us

for an epic gathering

where we come together
as one people, as visionaries.

Man:
Is this not the most exciting
time to be in technology?

(crowd cheering)
The whole thing is
just like, "Wow."

Jack:
The most transformative
technology event in the world.

Hoolicon.

See you all at Hoolicon!

I hope you're excited.
I know "vee are."

Yeah, VR.

Fucking Keenan Feldspar.

♪ ♪

Jared, how many people
attend Hoolicon?

About a quarter
of a million...

over the whole weekend.

And, Gilfoyle, um,
how many more phones

do we need
to get us off Azure?

A hundred
and twenty-three thousand,

give or take.

Dinesh, how much
are tickets to Hoolicon?

Why would I have
that information?

(rock music playing)

♪ Tell me what you think,
are we in trouble? ♪

♪ Feeling sorry's never
really been my struggle ♪

♪ Picking up the pieces,
sifting through the rubble ♪

♪ Ringing in the new year,
listening to the Double ♪

♪ Are we outside ♪

♪ The safe spaces of love ♪

♪ Are we in space,
pinned down ♪

♪ To spinning rocks? ♪

♪ How you ♪

♪ Freeze me ♪

♪ We're so
cold now ♪

♪ Are we outside
in space? ♪

♪ So cold, so cold ♪

Richard, I will not help you
on this mission.

It's a means to an end.

You are always telling me how
you spent your entire childhood

pretending that everything going
on around you was okay.

Uncle Jerry's game.

Let's play...
Uncle Jerry's game.

Do you know what you're asking?

Pied Piper were a last minute
add to the vendor list.

Don't get caught and remember
why you're here.

You guys ready to
see the future?

Think of it more as, um,
forced adoption through

aggressive guerilla marketing.

Well, as a product of forced
adoption, I can assure you

there are consequences.