Original subtitles

My father...

During his last days, demanded

that some philosophy books be placed on the locker beside his bed.

My father's taught philosophy as a profession

and read philosophy for pleasure

and I wrote only novels.

He had a right to think that I inhabited a space filled with banality,

filled with gross inventions, foolish plot lines.

The next day I went to my father�s old apartment

and rummaged through the books in his study.

I found his old copy of the Critique of Pure Reason

with many notes in the margin

and his thumb-nailed edition of Plato�s �Symposium�.

I found a fat volume of Hegel

and an untouched edition of Derek Parfit�s �On What Matters�.

Put them in a pile on the locker while he was sleeping.

Once when my father opened his eyes

I showed him the Parfit which was at the top of the pile

and I pronounced the title in the best English accent I could manage.

�On What Matters�.

It would be nice to say that he smiled

but he did not smile.

Instead he spoke:

Heinrich

�Heinrich there are only two things that matter� he said

�there is the thing you did that you regret

the thing that cannot be undone

and then there is the thing that you did not do

that you should have done

that you regret too

but it�s too late now.

It�s easy to say that these things do not matter because they�re over

but they do.

They are in fact what matters.

The things in between do not matter at all�.

�Is that a quote from a book� I asked him.

Suddenly his voice became almost gentle

his tone filled with regret as he said

�No�

and then repeated the word

�No�

on a sigh.

It would be nice to say that

he then turned over died and that �No� was his last word but it wasn't.

He lived for 6 or 7 weeks more.

Is that thunder

In those last weeks my father�s words about what matters hit home.

I almost asked the doctor if he too indeed if all of us

if the nurses and the other patients

if the porters and the other visitors

if the night cleaners and the taxi drivers outside

if we all had done one thing in our lives

that we knew was wrong

and if we all had one thing we did not do in our lives

which we regretted.

And if these two things became the story of our lives

the story of what matter what matters more than anything else matter

or ever will matter.

When my father spoke about what matters

an image came to me

and remains with me.

It�s an image of two women

one whom I caused harm

and the other whom I failed.

Whom I should not have failed

who I should be with now if I�d been wiser then.

Whom I wonder about still.

Thank you so much Max for giving us despite your jetlag

a taste of The Hunter and the Hunted. Thank you

There will be a longer reading at the public library tomorrow.

Congratulations

Our publicist has all the details.

It was so great.

So this is my friend Julia. Hi Julia. Hello Max

I really really enjoyed your reading. Thank you.

So you�re Clara�s guy.

You left her alone all winter in New York and you weren�t worried

We can�t wait. The performance was profound.

Hm The performance was profound.

Can we go home

Sure.

I can�t believe it.

Max

Walter

Oh So nice to see you again.

It said in the papers

that you've come to make a presentation.

Yeah tomorrow at the public library.

Your mom would be proud of you.

Who is this charming creature

This is my wife Clara. This is Walter. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Will you come to the reading No no no... tomorrow I�m sorry...

I've a friend holding a preview and I promised to go.

Would you care to come with me

No but I... I have the reading.

Yes I know I know.

I'm not deaf

despite my years. So...

Another book of yours

Yes a novel.

Another fiction

Truth.

It�s so good to see you it�s been too long.

I�m sure it will be a big success.

Is this the first time you've been back after so long

Yes it is or I would have been in touch.

I would love to arrange a dinner for you and a few friends.

Thank you. You call me

I will.

Goodnight.

You�Il call me I will.

How do you know that guy

He�s an old friend. He financed my studied.

He financed a lot of other things too.

He�s the one who made the big donation to the Met.

There was a dinner for him and he didn�t turn up.

Someone told me he collected unbelievable things.

He looks like the kind of guy who collects dead bodies.

Goodnight. Bye. Goodnight. Bye.

So this was Walter.

I knew it the minute I saw him. Every bit the way you described him.

Was he in the room when I read

Not that I saw. Maybe somewhere in the back.

He gives me the creeps.

He�s a very gifted man.

It was strange seeing him.

I�m so happy you�re finally here.

Sometimes on the phone

I just couldn�t say that all I wanted was to get home to you.

I missed you so much I started to hate you.

I was worried too.

I panicked a few times.

But I knew where you were and that was the main thing.

How do you know all those people

That�s part of my job: marketing advertising...

it's all got to do with them.

And even little interns from Germany get to meet writers.

You looked fantastic.

Did I ? Yes you did.

Yes.

I love you. You know that.

Two fifty

Twice as much as last time.

So we got you a phone and I programmed some numbers in it

as you'll see...

Thank you. Yeah. Hello

Hello.

OK... so...

A lot of demands for interviews... After a short press release.

Keep it to a minimum.

You being here will make a lot of a difference.

I�Il do my best. Don�t give my number to anyone.

What about personal calls Friends and family

No I don�t have any.

Well there�s Mr. Walter.

Yeah. He�s the exception.

Could you call him and invite him to the reading.

I know he won�t come but ask him for Rebecca�s number.

Rebecca

Yeah he�Il know. It�s an old friend I want to invite.

Is Clara coming down

There she is.

Good morning Lindsey. Good morning. Good morning.

How are you Good How are you Thank you.

He loves your work.

...after this message, we'll be talking with

the Scandinavian author Max Zorn.

Mr. Zorn.

How did you know

Well I was told to look for a gentleman

with the distinction of a European antique dealer.

Right this way.

Now might be a good moment to call Walter.

Mr. Zorn as an intellectual

a poet a playwright a novelist living in Berlin

let me ask you

do you believe that Europe will collapse

as soon as many commentators are suggesting

Europe is a is a culture before it�s an economy

and that�s something the Americans have problems understanding.

Maybe because it�s a complex culture.

Our stories are anti-heroic.

If we see someone in power or a political leader we laugh

because self-deprecation is our first gear.

Our stories are filled with idiots and fools

and chancers and losers.

Pinocchios and Don Quixotes.

The Emperor without clothes or Hamlet or Don Juan...

and that is... that is the bedrock upon which our house is built.

No matter what happens in the short term

Europe will keep its spirit.

For years you were on the radical side then you campaigned for the Chancellor

and now you support the Greens and want the borders open even more.

What exactly is your position

Well I�m not a tree.

Excuse me

A tree has roots it stands in one place it has a position.

I�m an animal.

I�m wild I move I change positions I�m flexible.

OK...

So what did he say - It was awkward. He had me spell your name.

That�s Walter.

Then he confirmed he would not be attending your event tonight

and finally...

he laughed out loud when I asked for Rebecca�s number.

�Miss Epstein Esquire Attorney at law� he said

and asked why you didn�t call yourself.

Mrs. Epstein

Miss Epstein please.

For Mr. Max Zorn.

He�s an author.

She knows him. It�s personal.

Thank you.

Ah Miss Epstein hi.

This is Mr. Zorn�s publicist

and he�s in town for his last book and he�s just wondering

if he could see you

He�s right here in front of me if you�d like to talk to him

Well he�s in town until Tuesday night...

Yes... I understand... Of course.

What�s going on Why did you do that

She was about to say no wasn�t she

It�s better the battery went dead. Do you have her address

It�s a law firm yeah.

Great. Let�s go there.

It�s all the way downtown. Yes we�Il take the subway.

To do what Pay her a visit.

Now

Well she�s there now isn�t she

Well you can�t do that. You won�t get past security.

Z.O.R.N.

I cannot let you through without a proper appointment.

I know her she�s an old friend OK listen just let me handle it OK

Could I talk to her on the phone please Thank you.

Hi... No yeah... we were just trying to phone about 15 minutes ago

and you know the battery went dead...

well you know we were in the neighbourhood so...

OK. All right thank you...

She said she may come down. Fine.

How did she sound

Brisk. Brisk

Yeah she sounded pretty upset.

She wanted me to know she went to Yale.

She said that No she said almost nothing.

She did go to Yale.

On a Fulbright scholarship right after the wall came down.

Straight out of East Berlin to Manhattan via Yale.

There you have it in a nutshell.

So she�s German

Yeah but I met her in New York. And you never saw her again

No. But I looked for her.

You looked for her

Yes but I didn�t even know if she was still living in New York.

How could I find her her name having changed and everything.

Then I saw Walter.

He knew us when we were together.

Being in the city

every street corner reminds me of her.

It�s important.

We didn�t show up well in the end neither one of us.

So she�s the one from the book

No the book is a novel.

Surprise surprise

Hello. Hi.

You look exactly as I imagined.

How did you find me Walter gave me your number.

Walter So you still see him

Last night I... one of those coincidences.

I haven�t seen him for at least 10 years. How is he

You haven�t How come he has your number

You know how he is.

Mrs. Epstein.

You�re married.

It�s the perfect name for a lawyer especially in New York.

So you really didn�t change. Still the same old racist.

I... I...I was never racist

Let�s not argue.

We wanted to invite you to the tonight at the Public.

You�Il be on the guest list.

Your old place Max.

Will you come

Can we meet

Would be a mistake if we didn�t.

We would regret it.

I have to check my schedule.

I�m working on a very difficult case right now. I have to work late.

If it were any other time... this is all a bit sudden.

Wait...

did you have another copy of the book

Here...

And...

Yeah...This is my card. And I wrote Mr. Zorn�s number on it.

It�s her address. Mr. Walter wanted you to have it.

He said he was breaking all of his rules whatever they are.

It was just for you he said.

Is Clara your first wife

Oh no no no no... we�re not married.

There have been others

I mean you�ve been not married a few times

The nearly wives. The ones that got away

Was Mrs. Epstein one of them

She might see it that way.

Children - A daughter not Clara�s.

Clara�s been checking every detail with your publisher.

She�s putting her soul into this.

The cover the entire campaign... she begged everybody for a blurb.

She went to the hotel to see if it was OK

working like a dog on her internship

without pay.

I know. I cannot do without her.

I think my jacket is a mistake.

I know. - So why did you bring it

I don�t look like a writer.

Nobody wants to look like a writer.

Do you want to look like one

Yeah I do. No no I don�t. But...

Do I look like a European antique dealer

Well like a European antique dealer on a bad day for European antiques.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Oh wow Look at you

Think it�s all right Absolutely.

We have a car tonight.

It�s your big night.

How are you Very good.

It�s a packed house. Yeah

Oh look who�s here

How is... You are very welcome. Come in.

There are a lot of people here already.

Remember this is the smartest audience you�re ever going to get.

When my father spoke about what matters and what does not matter

an image came to me

an image of two women.

One whom I caused harm...

The other who I should be with now if I�d been wiser then

whom I wonder about still

I met in New York.

It was a few years after the wall had come down

and I was happy to get away from all the agitation of Berlin.

My novel got me a fellowship

and I had a tiny office at the Public Library.

Yes here upstairs on the 4th floor.

I first met her at an art opening

or rather outside an art opening since there were too many people inside.

My friend from the library with whom I�d come was a smoker

so I was standing outside with him.

We watched her arrive

we studied her as she saw the crowds and decided to step back

then she turned and smiled at my friend.

She barely looked at me as she shook my hand.

The following Sunday I watched her a second time

as she arrived at the Alice Tully Hall alone

for the 5 o�clock concert.

I was alone too already in my seat.

As she took her seat she looked at me for a brief second

but she did not say anything

and I believed that she did not recognize me.

I liked her.

But before the concert began she turned and said

�You are at the library� and smiled.

�It�s one of the great places� she added.

As the music played

I felt a loneliness that was new to me.

I did not want her to leave at the end of the concert

but there was nothing I could think to say to her

so I walked ahead of her towards the exit

as though I had somewhere to go.

That is how it began.

We soon met again.

We spent many nights together and whole weekends

and we went out to the country

where the sky was grey and low

and the wind was icy and the roads deserted.

Maybe that was the best time we had

the closest we ever got to each other.

I�m trying not to say

that I loved her more than I�ve ever loved anyone

or ever will.

Words are banal.

They belong to songs and sentimentality.

But what else can I say

Are there other words that I can use

Perhaps there�s a need for me to add that she was

beautiful and original as well as distant

and intriguing.

I�m not sure these words either or any other words can help me now.

Now that the time has passed.

She was the great chance I had.

The chance I lost.

The one who mattered.

Over the years she became one of my ghosts

until one day I started to think that I might go to New York again

when a book of mine came out from a publisher there

and see the city again

and maybe run into her

and pretend that the past does not matter.

And here I am.

Thank you.

Maybe in his next book it will be you.

I hope not.

Could you please sign my book

It makes a difference if the Hungarians are actually from Hungary doesn�t it

Brought up there in that culture.

I mean those haircuts.

I liked the second violinist but I like them all.

Dedicated. They are dedicated musicians.

My first boyfriend was Hungarian.

I mean not real brought up in Hungary Hungarian. His parents came here in �56.

He got in touch with me recently.

He has this big Hungarian laugh. I mean it beats...

So did you meet him Wait. He looks really nice now.

He�s thoughtful and skinny now like a Columbia professor.

So you met him. Yeah I met him

I mean we even...

You what Yeah we did

It was nice. It was sweet.

I mean that�s what New York is for.

That is why my rent is so high.

In other places people fade away but here they always come back.

Speaking of old friends coming back I got a call from someone

I haven�t seen in ages.

Where�s he been hiding

Last time I heard of him he was in Berlin.

Oh no not German.

I don�t do Germans. I never have.

Not that any opportunity has ever come my way.

I don�t blame you.

I meet him the first time...

no the second time

in that hall we were in tonight.

He�s a writer.

He has a reading at the Public Library tonight.

That�s why we went to the concert.

He has a reading and we went to the concert

Is he the one...

It was a long time ago

and I never really got over it. I know other people do. I didn�t.

No one ever gets over anything.

Shall we get one Yeah.

Hi Mr. Zorn. Please for Bill.

What a fabulous novel it is too sir.

Thank you sir very much.

Hello. Hello.

Let me see.

I really loved the reading. Thank you.

All these guys want to be David Foster Wallace.

Every one of them. Literally.

So you mean they�d prefer to be dead

If it meant fame then sure of course. Why not

Maybe they�d prefer to be Don DeLillo. Hey What are you guys drinking

This is Sex on the Beach with an extra twist.

Of what Of moaning.

Are you happy Hey yes.

Please join me in raising my glass

to someone whom I not only consider to be a genius

but also my friend.

To Max Zorn.

Thank you thank you...

Good job Max. Thank you.

I�m not sure about your choices though.

Yeah Yeah.

Maybe a bit more tact.

Tact is boring.

Hey up there Up there Look

There�s nothing up there Look over there...

Somebody try this one here.

That�s all it is...

Is it the right street

Follow the perfume.

Wait...

Henry James once said

it is time to start living the life you imagine

but I say it is time we started living the life we deserve

Roderick what�s his name what he�s doing

He does what you all do

he makes up stories and thinks about girls.

Is he good He thinks his stories are good.

He�s probably wrong about that.

He�s not wrong about the girls.

Have you known him for long

I�ve done publicity for a few of his books.

I like him and he�s respected. - Oh yeah

Stop it He�s working with Clara. He�s doing a great job.

Yeah they�re both doing a great job.

Hey stop it. Address further inquiries to Shakespeare and Shakespeare.

This call may be monitored for quality and training purposes.

Taxi

Is that him Your philosopher

He�s not a philosopher.

It�s 11.45. It�s 15 minutes past my bedtime.

Let me inspect him.

Don�t be nervous.

I don�t know who he is anymore. We�re about to find out.

What for I don�t know...

I know this makes no sense.

I really don�t want him calling round like this.

I can guess who gave him the address.

To hell with it. Let me check him out.

You had a reading. How did it go

This is Rachel my best friend and cat keeper.

Hi.

She does other things too. I mean in fact she runs the country.

Rachel stop staring

Would you like a drink Yeah

or maybe I shouldn�t... just coffee that�s fine.

I can make you coffee.

I can also help you to stop gaping at everything.

How are you going to do that

By calling for help against a stalker.

I can make some coffee. You show him around Becky.

Is this your place

No I just come here to do the cleaning at night.

Seriously

You were never serious when I knew you.

Deep inside I�m serious.

I�m glad I never knew that side of you the one that�s �deep inside�.

I�m glad you kept that to yourself.

Did you buy this place

Yes. How did you think I got it

With money you made Money I made.

What sort of law do you do

I worked for the District Attorney as a prosecutor.

And then I got hired by a law firm and moved over to the other side.

Then I got hired by another law firm bigger and better.

If you want to stay out of jail and have a lot of money

at some stage of the game you spend time in my office.

O.J. Strauss-Kahn cases like that

I didn�t do them. But you could have

It�s more about finance mergers insider trading stuff like that.

Madoff.

I don�t discuss clients with strangers.

But you understand all that

No if I were in trouble I�d hire you.

You couldn�t afford me.

You put on weight.

I told the cats you�d be thinner.

Is that why they�re staring so at me

No.

They don�t like me having unannounced gentlemen callers at night

Now I get you.

I would go to Syracuse with him or Boulder Colorado.

I would go to the armpit of the universe.

I mean he is... Sweet and smart. Yeah. - Yeah.

But the nerve to come here at night.

Now don�t stare at him. I don�t stare...

What are you two talking about

I was expecting a big piece of Wiener Schnitzel to appear

and I am merely expressing my surprise.

Sugar No thanks.

We should all go home and go to bed now.

I�m sure the jetlag caused him to feel he could come round here this late.

No I�m the one splitting.

Nightie night.

Max is staying at the Algonquin. Would you offer him a ride

Sure.

Thanks. The pleasure is all mine.

Let me ask you something.

Is Rebecca alone

I mean how does she live Is there someone she...

Maybe you should ask her.

I�m asking you.

And what about you

I�m sure she was happy to see you. Does that answer your question

Thanks John. You�re welcome madam.

I hope you don�t mind but I think I�d rather walk.

Do I scare you that much

I don�t scare that easy but I really need it.

The walk the air you know.

Jet lag.

Rebecca�s always right.

Good morning Morning.

We almost called the FBI.

Why do you always vanish

I took a walk I got lost and then

finally I took a cab back to the hotel.

We were there until 4 dancing.

Then we went to that other place which was full of Bulgarians crazy dancing

polka and vodka.

What are you thinking

I am not thinking.

Yes you are. I can hear it.

I�m thinking that my wife thinks that some undereducated American proof-reader

is a fucking guru

and I can smell his idiocy from her

when she comes into the room.

And I missed you when I got back last night.

I�m here now.

You�re here. That�s what matters.

Listen to this.

Lindsey, this is Rebecca Epstein with a message for Mr. Zorn.

I have time on Saturday. If he wants to come, I have to drive somewhere

on the far end of Long Island.

Departure from my place at 11 a.m.

We'll be back late afternoon.

If it's OK, no need to call back. He knows the address.

She picked Montauk.

The place at the far end.

You are free this weekend. Shall I pencil in

Why not

So what�s up next

Times. A brunch.

And what�s this about Saturday Montauk.

Montauk

Yeah there�s this place it�s an arts centre

with people he needs to meet.

Oh come on Max please. Julia�s doing a party for us.

I�Il be back in time.

I don�t think I�ve told a lie for an author or for anyone else

since I started in my job.

I�m sure she noticed.

That�s the last lie I�m telling OK

OK.

And what will happen in Montauk

I don�t know.

And Clara doesn�t even know she exists.

No she doesn�t. At least I hope so.

Why

Because I love Clara. I don�t want to hurt her.

I mean it makes no sense.

Why do you want to see Rebecca now that you have Clara

I can�t explain it.

I don�t want to have lost her even though it was long ago.

I do not want to have lost her.

Even when I was in high school if a guy did that...

coming all the way from Europe and then seeing someone else...

You know what I would do What would you do

I�d cut his balls off.

Yeah.

Don�t you have any firm positions anymore

Yes I do. But I�m...

I�m not a tree. It has roots. It stands in one place it has a position.

I�m an animal. I'm wild I move I change position.

I�m flexible.

...still don�t change their way of treating economy.

Because the power is... Financial power...

Walter Are you following me

No it's pure coincidence. I lunch here almost every day.

I really want you to come to my home.

Bring your wife OK.

I�m very lonely you know.

You live alone Yes.

New York is a city that's conducive to solitude.

At least that's how I conceived it.

You designed the city

Yes why not

So it's a promise See you soon. OK.

I have the painting for you.

The Paul Klee

I�m seeing Walter for lunch on Monday. Monday.

I�Il put it in the schedule.

He wants you to come along as well and Clara.

Great. I can�t wait to see his collection... of dead bodies.

This jacket is completely wrong.

You know it�s special.

No Walter he introduced me to art and to literature.

As a student I admired him beyond reason.

I was intimidated. I...

I needed someone to watch over me.

That�s Walter for you. Here we are.

When I began to write and publish my first things

in newspapers and even my first novel

he dismissed it.

He said �Anybody could do that�

But in French.

It�s not that she�s neglecting her kids

it�s more that she�s so stressed and in pain

that she can�t really let them into her life.

The book is about his mother.

You know I could put this up for you.

Oh I don�t know.

I was never the right shape for clothes. But you are...

your shoulders are perfect Look at you

Thank you. Well OK.

May I

Voil`a.

Walter had a house in Tuscany and at the end of summer a woman came.

Since Walter didn�t sleep with her it seemed natural that I would

even though she was older than I.

They break in all the time.

They stole my flat screen.

You have to put on the pants.

How much rent do you pay for this

Fifteen. Out of...

You don�t want to know.

After lunch one day Walter fell asleep.

He looked like a lizard

in repose with his mouth open and his eyes closed.

She looked at him

and then she looked at me like a child

moving towards something sweet and forbidden.

I believe even when she removed his wallet from his inside pocket

and looked at me again her face full of mischief

she had no idea what we would be doing

and smiled at me again as if she�d done something brave

as she handed me the credit cards.

Then she put her finger to her lips and...

We stole out of that house with nothing.

No luggage no guilt either.

Only at the railway station as I had to queue for an overnight sleeper

did I worry about getting caught.

But the thought of fucking her as the train crossed the Apennine mountains

and then fucking her again in daylight on the way to Venice

with the blinds open and the peasants working outside

and then fucking her again in Venice with the water lapping outside

it removed all thoughts of guilt or fear.

You could have gone to jail.

Lindsey

this may just be a story I made up.

Never believe anything writers tell you.

Fucking her on the train with the blinds open you couldn�t have made that up.

It�s a nice place in Brooklyn and we planned it so you would be there.

When are you coming back In time for the party I hope.

It�s just a panel... talk talk talk...

When are you leaving I don�t know.

I have to call Lindsey.

She�s a busy girl Lindsey.

I don�t know how she puts up with all you guys.

Just don�t be too late.

Ciao. Ciao.

They know I�m going I told them earlier.

I snuck my bag down to the car but they spotted me and suspected something.

So I came clean and I told them.

What are they called

Crosby Stills and Nash.

Oh the band

Wasn�t there a 4th member

Who�s a clever boy

What happens if one of them dies It won�t be the same.

One of them won�t die.

I forgot

it�s America

Well they do look like

a bad rock band all right.

This scent your perfume I can�t trace it.

I don�t wear perfume. It must be the soap.

What soap is it

It has no name. I have it specially made.

What

Yeah you heard me.

It�s a little lesbian lady and another little lesbian lady in Connecticut.

You talk to them and they tell you what soap you are.

You are

Yeah you are.

Voil`a.

How did that happen How did they know we were coming out now

I guess they guessed. What do you think

I think a lesbian little old lady in Connecticut called them.

Very smart. You must be a writer. Are you Max

Yes I am. I thought so. Thank you John.

I just have to pick up a few things.

Thank you.

I�d love to be your valet. That would be great.

I can�t believe we�re doing this.

Look at what you�re wearing

It�s OK It�s a bit wrinkled.

Very hip.

I wouldn�t advise you to wear it in court. - Why not

The accused always has to wear a good suit. - Even if he�s innocent

They�re all innocent until the law decides otherwise.

Any more errands Nope.

Have you ever been there since Where

Montauk.

Why

Well that�s where we�re going isn�t it

Come on you said the far end of the island.

Does the cat minder sleep in the apartment when you�re away - No.

I�m just trying to piece it all together your... know how you live.

Relax put on music.

Where is the music You used to know cars.

Well I�m a poor writer. Less than poor.

I don�t have a car anymore.

This I don�t believe.

No it�s true.

I�m broke. Broke for now.

I don't read much. When I am writing, I find reading a distraction.

I lock myself in a room.

I don't need other authors. And then, in the evening I listen to jazz maybe...

Might be better if he didn�t talk. Yeah.

And in between writing your own books, what do you read...

I went to college with him. Really

What was he like

There were a lot of guys like him. They bored me.

They took you out on dates

and talked about themselves

and then told you it was your turn you could talk about yourself now.

They knew that if they didn�t let you talk some you might not sleep with them.

Did you sleep with them

Sure.

Did you sleep with that guy

Did you sleep with the illiterate guy

I think we fooled around a few times.

because it pays a very little attention to the way the world really works...

I thought I was special when you fooled around with me.

I never fooled around with you.

I was a very very angry idealistic young person myself.

So I know whereof I speak.

At Budokan.

I want you,

I want you,

I want you, so bad...

I went through years of needing to hear this song

and needing not to hear it.

We listened to it on the way out there... and on the way back.

I have total recall.

Did you read what I wrote in the book

about our time together

I only leafed through it.

Did you have a problem with it

I was surprised.

Maybe more surprised about the parts you invented.

I didn�t invent much.

We�re almost there.

This house I have to look at.

It�s something I should have done a few months ago.

One of my colleagues is selling a house if someone offered him the right price.

I told him I�d look at it at the end of the summer and then I changed my mind.

Are you buying it for yourself

My parents live in Dresden.

They�re old could come over and live here.

But I haven�t mentioned it to them it�s just an idea I had.

I had a place once in Maine

but I got just a few good weekends out of it so I sold it.

It�s funny

I didn�t use it when I had it and then I missed it when I sold it.

Do you visit your parents

I did a few times. Then I decided never to go back there.

What happened

Nothing special. I just didn�t want to be there anymore.

That was the part of you I never understood.

You never understood anything.

Here�s a sweater.

Thank you.

Hello

Hello

Let�s wait a bit. I�m not waiting.

They said they�d be here.

Don�t trespass.

I really needed to look at it.

Thanks for coming along. We can grab a bite on the way back.

We didn�t have this before.

Your taste is deepening.

Stop it.

People are so unreliable you know. I told him I�d be here by noon.

Eighty miles for nothing.

Don�t be angry. Why shouldn�t I - It�s so American.

What does that mean

All this efficiency You�re so relentless pedantic.

Is this East Germany meeting its match in America

Stop it or get out of the car.

Where�s your sense of humor

You�re driving in the wrong direction.

It may be wrong but that�s where we�re going.

That�s good.... They can�t get more.

I�Il get some branches.

Hello...

Bye.

They�Il send someone tomorrow to open the house.

On the Sunday

I think I have to stay somewhere out here.

I can drive you back.

Or drop you off at a bus or there�s a train too.

I�m not going anywhere.

Sure this is not a problem

An enormous one

but one I can handle if you stop shouting at me.

No I mean Lindsey said you have to be back tonight.

Yeah and you said you have to look at the house tomorrow.

Let me call the tow truck.

OK thank you.

There�s 21.

Here�s twenty...

23.

Here. OK.

See you in a bit.

Yeah...

Look at that

If we don�t go now it�s going to start to mist or rain

or it�Il get dark.

I need a walk.

I need to call Rachel for the cats.

And...

we should get toothbrushes and stuff. Maybe some boots.

There�s something different about the hotel.

No.

Time has passed that�s all.

The hotel is the same.

It�s more imposing though.

It hasn�t changed Have you changed

Yes I have.

In what way In ways I don�t want to talk about.

I take it you think you�re still the same.

Well I�m older I�m balder...

I don�t mean that. Il know what you mean...

Yeah a table for two please.

OK lovely thank you. See you later.

Last time we saw this restaurant and thought it was too expensive

or else it was too full do you remember

I checked the name of it and thought this time we would go there.

I can�t remember having any food at all last time.

We had bad chowder in some corner place just down from here.

You hated it and I didn�t finish it.

I don�t remember that.

I said it was homemade.

And you said we were all homemade

and maybe that was the worst thing about us.

What does that mean

Thanks.

It was nice to be back at the library.

I couldn�t make it.

Well the reading would have been embarrassing with you in the room.

When I worked in the library

I loved the manuscripts more than the books.

Kafka and Twain and Nabokov...

Weren�t you intimidated No No

No. On the contrary.

Seeing how everyone who wrote started with ordinary things trying out

and when I saw those lines crossed out

whole pages...

No one was ever sure of what they were writing

not when they started not even the greatest.

They were not yet fully formed. They had to work.

Once when I was a teenager I learned an entire passage of Plato

to impress my father

only to be told that he knew it all in the original Greek.

You never grow up.

For me it wasn�t funny at all.

I know

I almost cried when you told me for the first time.

I did Yeah.

That�s how you got me.

I was so innocent.

Just give me a minute please.

When we drove out here I wasn�t sure how it feel.

I thought it was me who thought that.

In a way this could be the next day after the last time.

Don�t speak.

You used to say that we were world champions.

At being happy.

The only thing that I promise myself

that if I buy it I can�t sell it.

No more moving or regretting.

It�s only two hours from the city.

I like the city.

It would mean giving up going anywhere else.

This is where I would sit.

And I would never leave.

What does he do your friend

How did he make the money to have this

He writes essays.

He writes essays and makes money From essays

No stupid he�s a lawyer.

He sues people.

He gets up early in the morning and he sues people.

Was that a joke about the essays

I think I would have to spend a night out here on my own

to see how it feels.

Maybe it�s too remote too beautiful

too frightening in the dark.

Could we change things now

Change what Change our lives

Or decide that we should No no.

Listen. Listen to me.

I�m with someone

but I would leave her. - Don�t say it. I would leave her this second.

And then what move in with me Take me to Berlin

Can�t we have a second chance We could live together like we did then.

We never lived together.

You were always elsewhere always on the move.

Maybe we are wiser now.

I won�t make that mistake again.

You�re not wise at all are you

What do you mean

Tell me about you.

Since we last met

Whatever. Tell me about your life.

Leave me out of it.

But how It will always be us.

Not your work or your writing

No it�s you.

Women.

There will always be women.

Go on. It�s of no importance.

I�m happy now. Happy to be here.

Happy.

After we split up or however you would call it

I met someone.

Oh Someone you�re still seeing

Please don�t ask any questions. Just let me talk.

Then I won�t talk again.

I was just... - I�ve been waiting to see you so I could tell you this.

Maybe...

Maybe you�re the only one I needed to know this.

I moved very close to him I mean I lived with him

and I thought that we would manage our lives together but...

natural and easy too

happy.

You�re still seeing him

He died.

Marcus died.

God...

I can hardly say it still.

What age was he

God he was young.

It was a heart attack.

He had it on the street. He fell down dead.

That is what happened.

You know he died and I didn�t know

or feel you know

He was in the same city.

I didn�t feel...

We lived on Bleecker Street.

He had found his habitat

and that was all he wanted me to be there the chairs the desk the bed.

He was a lawyer too.

He loved loopholes

strange new ways of looking at a contract like...

the same way as he liked chess and minimalist art and some jazz and...

He had only one suit.

Always wore the same type of white shirt.

I loved being with him when he was asleep.

He had a way of waking up and then looking at you

half apologizing.

You�re shivering.

I often feel in places like this you know

the soft places the edge of things

when it�s like this in the winter that he might be here

or come here.

Like he came across the room to me in that bar.

and said nothing looked at me and sipped his drink

and made clear to me that he wasn�t going to go.

Is that why we came here

No.

No.

It�s not why we came here but...

I mean I needed to tell you what happened

no

I know you thought something else might happen.

I could see when you were in that house that you don�t just dream in your books

you dream in your life. But you cannot dream about me.

But last night

and this morning I felt... You felt something too.

Oh don�t tell me what I felt.

But you�re free now.

Free is not the word. You�re alone. But... - But you...

I am not free.

Is there someone else No.

I mean that�s what I�m...

That�s what I�m saying.

I went straight back to work after he died.

There was a case and it couldn�t have been postponed

and I was the only one briefed.

Then I took on more work

and then I got head hunted which is a good way of putting it.

Finally when I found that I hadn�t stopped working for a year

I went to the therapist

who was so frightened at the state I was in that she sent me to a shrink

like a real doctor.

We tried talking but I make a living from talking.

I mean we tried medication.

I didn�t take it.

In the end he used hypnosis on me.

Have you ever done it

No.

That is a shock.

That is the biggest shock I�ve ever had I mean Max...

I went into Marcus�s mind as he lay dying.

You know...

It was as though I was with him

you know and not beside him

but in his mind too.

It was as though he had taken me with him or part of me or...

and left the rest of me what you see now you know I mean...

I was with him.

I felt what he felt.

I died as he died.

Max.

You know the summer after you left you sent me letters.

You said you were traveling.

I was really puzzled by that

I thought you were taken up by the new Berlin

and then we had these talks from your hotel rooms and...

I never knew why you weren�t in New York.

You know I wanted you to be in New York.

I didn�t want you to be in Sienna or in Florence or...

But you didn�t care.

You were fooling around weren�t you

It wasn�t serious was it

It was just a story you could tell years later no

Tell me that it�s true. Please tell me.

tell me for once something that�s true you know.

Why didn�t you come back to New York

I was distracted.

There was so much going on. I was poor...

I let the year go by and... And

And there was someone on a book tour.

She got pregnant.

She wanted to keep the child

a girl.

Do you see her Of course I see her.

I love her very much.

And she�s how old

She�s 16 now.

It happened the first winter after I left.

So...

Why didn�t you ever tell me

I didn�t want to harm you.

Oh...

You know that's what I liked about you.

That you didn�t mean any harm.

You never meant any harm.

Things just happened.

I never knew what you saw in me.

I wanted you to be the father of my children.

It�s been taken care of sir.

Oh thank you.

Hi, this is Clara

and if you love me, leave me a message.

Hi, this is Clara

and if you love me, leave me a message.

Hey Lindsey it�s Max...

Do you have Clara�s address

How long have you been living here

All the time.

Over a kebab shop.

That�s what I�ve been smelling all the time

Max don�t start.

It�s in the pillows it�s all over the bed. The sexy smell of cooking kebab.

I didn�t want you to come here.

I should have come the first day.

I was careless.

I�m sorry Clara.

What I loved about you was...

was that you knew so much.

I loved that you were older than me.

I still do.

I was happy when you suggested

that I go to New York and got me this job.

But not once on the phone did you ask me about my work.

What exactly I�m doing here.

I learned a lot of stuff: that the city if you are alone is a dump

your work everybody thinks you got it

because your guy said you were to have it.

was grateful for Roderick�s help.

We had a lot of fun.

He helped me survive the city.

It�s fine in taxis moving from one place to another

it�s fine in hotels it�s fine in a Woody Allen movie

but try it on your own on a Monday night in winter

when the cold is getting into your bones.

And the man you love

is 1000 miles away and does not care.

Just try it once.

Try it once.

I�m sorry.

I want you to tell me who you are

and what you want from me.

I want you to look at me.

I look at you I see you Clara.

I was jealous.

Jealous

So you eloped with fucking Lindsey.

I didn�t go to Montauk with fucking Lindsey

You did not

No I didn�t go to Montauk with fucking Lindsey.

We�re going home. I...

I want you to come with me.

Something really bad must have happened to you.

But I don�t want to know what it was.

Let�s go tonight.

Clara repeat what I�m saying say after me:

I�ve read all your books.

Please.

I�ve read all your books.

No one except me will tolerate you.

That�s just plain silly.

Just say it.

No one else except me will tolerate you.

You�re not gonna change but I�m staying with you.

I don�t know why.

No not this one.

Ah...

Don�t contradict him. He likes women to be sweet and agreeable.

Sweet and agreeable

There�s a drawing he promised me years ago a Paul Klee.

It may get 300 000 at an auction.

Of course. Your pension fund.

Sweet and agreeable.

And there�s Malevich Kandinsky

and somewhere we have Corot Klee many things manuals and...

Some are from my family of course.

But now I wonder

if I�m not tired of them.

Which is why I don�t mind the light.

You see the light

They fade

you know.

You�Il see they fade...

A little each year more in summer.

So why don�t you protect them

I could burn them. They are mine.

I let them fade.

They'll disappear when I do.

I find that comforting.

I think it�s disgusting.

No I don�t think so.

They are mine you understand

I own them. - Bullshit No one can own them.

My dear

I think this conversation will become...

extremely boring.

Why don�t you occupy Wall Street

Drink

Thank you.

Now for the real reason

I brought you here Max.

Open it.

I want you to have it.

You remember Rebecca was with us when I bought it

You still see her - No.

She works too much now.

You

Go on take it. Let that be an end to it.

Take it Max.

Before it fades away here.

I hope to be back.

Next year. Maybe sooner.

Oh

your scarf.

Keep it.

Really

Thank you. Bye.

I love you. You know that.

I did... I did something very wrong.

I feel I can tell you that.

What happened in Montauk

I... I saw a ghost.

Did you fuck her

It wasn�t about sex.

Maybe it was.

You can�t fuck a ghost.

Modified BY KANA_S