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1
00:00:00,355 --> 00:00:02,937
Guys, I am nailing my seating chart.
2
00:00:04,674 --> 00:00:06,874
Can you not put me near Luke?
I can't with the chewing.
3
00:00:06,976 --> 00:00:08,109
You are a spoiled city kid.
4
00:00:08,211 --> 00:00:10,745
I was 11 before I got to
sit at the people table.
5
00:00:11,404 --> 00:00:13,214
Cam. Cam, I've asked you 10 times.
6
00:00:13,283 --> 00:00:14,582
Why haven't you sent me our itinerary
7
00:00:14,684 --> 00:00:15,983
for your trip to your parents' house?
8
00:00:16,085 --> 00:00:17,151
Been a little busy.
9
00:00:17,220 --> 00:00:19,520
Okay, well,
you spent three hours making a JibJab
10
00:00:19,622 --> 00:00:21,522
of you, me,
and Lily dancing in Santa's Twerkshop.
11
00:00:21,901 --> 00:00:22,657
Look at our butts.
12
00:00:22,759 --> 00:00:24,492
- Yeah.
- Merry Christmas!
13
00:00:24,594 --> 00:00:25,793
- Merry Christmas.
- Hello.
14
00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:27,128
So, who's going to get me a drink?
15
00:00:27,230 --> 00:00:28,239
Mama's done breast-feeding.
16
00:00:28,331 --> 00:00:29,664
These babies are all mine again,
17
00:00:29,766 --> 00:00:31,198
and I'm ready to fill 'em up with wine.
18
00:00:31,301 --> 00:00:33,067
Ooh. Well, not how the human body works,
19
00:00:33,169 --> 00:00:34,602
but I'm very happy for you.
20
00:00:34,704 --> 00:00:37,104
- Ah! I've missed Old Haley!
- Ohh! Me too.
21
00:00:37,206 --> 00:00:39,940
Oh, hey, can you move Haley
away from me and the twins?
22
00:00:40,043 --> 00:00:42,643
My present to her is the night
off from Mommy duties, so...
23
00:00:42,745 --> 00:00:44,779
Okay, well, I would've appreciated
a little heads-up,
24
00:00:44,881 --> 00:00:46,614
but it's a thoughtful gift, so...
25
00:00:46,716 --> 00:00:48,115
It's also free, which is helpful
26
00:00:48,217 --> 00:00:50,351
because I forgot my ATM pin last summer.
27
00:00:50,453 --> 00:00:53,120
Any chance I ever mentioned my
four favorite numbers to you?
28
00:00:53,222 --> 00:00:54,388
- No.
- Oh, no.
29
00:00:54,490 --> 00:00:56,624
Please move me away from Gloria.
It'll be weird.
30
00:00:56,970 --> 00:00:58,292
Gloria's been working for my dad.
31
00:00:58,738 --> 00:01:01,162
He totally mentored her,
and then the other day,
32
00:01:01,264 --> 00:01:03,798
I caught her interviewing
with his competitors.
33
00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:05,199
So, if I come on board,
34
00:01:05,301 --> 00:01:07,702
do I have to change my hairstyle?
35
00:01:10,006 --> 00:01:11,505
- We'll talk about it.
- It's kind of our thing.
36
00:01:14,793 --> 00:01:15,976
Word to the wise...
37
00:01:16,079 --> 00:01:19,080
I'm like the last five
Matthew McConaughey movies.
38
00:01:19,182 --> 00:01:20,247
You never saw me.
39
00:01:22,885 --> 00:01:24,452
Fine.
40
00:01:24,554 --> 00:01:26,220
Merry Christmas!
41
00:01:26,322 --> 00:01:27,822
- Hello.
- Wow!
42
00:01:27,924 --> 00:01:30,524
Now, this is what a Christmas
table should look like.
43
00:01:30,626 --> 00:01:31,726
- Huh.
- No offense, honey.
44
00:01:31,828 --> 00:01:33,961
I also love your whole
"who cares" approach.
45
00:01:34,931 --> 00:01:36,915
Um... Cam?
46
00:01:36,950 --> 00:01:38,399
I can't sit next to Dad.
47
00:01:38,501 --> 00:01:40,668
I think he's gonna ask me to work
for his stupid dog bed company.
48
00:01:40,770 --> 00:01:42,069
Ugh. Claire!
49
00:01:42,171 --> 00:01:43,204
What?!
50
00:01:43,206 --> 00:01:45,364
I can't break his heart on Christmas.
51
00:01:45,399 --> 00:01:48,275
You know how the holiday makes
him so sweet and vulnerable.
52
00:01:48,378 --> 00:01:49,677
I hate this damn scarf!
53
00:01:49,779 --> 00:01:51,479
I look like Anjelica Huston!
54
00:01:51,581 --> 00:01:53,381
Cam bought it! You wear it!
55
00:01:53,483 --> 00:01:54,615
Hey!
56
00:01:54,717 --> 00:01:57,330
Love the scarf!
I feel like a movie star!
57
00:01:57,365 --> 00:01:59,353
Cam, put me next to Claire, okay?
58
00:01:59,455 --> 00:02:00,921
I want to talk to her about something.
59
00:02:01,023 --> 00:02:02,390
There she is!
60
00:02:02,492 --> 00:02:03,791
I can't wait to give you your gift.
61
00:02:03,893 --> 00:02:05,459
Should we open it now?
Let's open it now.
62
00:02:05,561 --> 00:02:07,027
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
63
00:02:07,130 --> 00:02:08,496
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
64
00:02:08,598 --> 00:02:10,094
Huh?
65
00:02:10,129 --> 00:02:11,308
You get it?
66
00:02:11,343 --> 00:02:12,867
2020 vision.
67
00:02:12,969 --> 00:02:14,368
It works two ways.
68
00:02:14,470 --> 00:02:16,170
You are gonna be on so many bus benches.
69
00:02:16,272 --> 00:02:18,005
And in a different way than
when you had to go somewhere
70
00:02:18,107 --> 00:02:19,706
before you married Jay.
71
00:02:19,758 --> 00:02:22,559
Wow. Dad, that is a lovely gesture.
72
00:02:22,661 --> 00:02:23,827
Thank you, Alex.
73
00:02:23,929 --> 00:02:26,563
You always know what to
say and what not to say.
74
00:02:26,665 --> 00:02:28,298
Phil, you're amazing.
75
00:02:28,367 --> 00:02:30,400
Which is ironic, I think,
76
00:02:30,502 --> 00:02:33,704
because your son might be a sociopath.
77
00:02:33,806 --> 00:02:35,906
Wait. W-What's all this, then?
78
00:02:36,008 --> 00:02:37,274
Why don't you ask him?
79
00:02:37,376 --> 00:02:38,809
Luke, what happened?
80
00:02:38,911 --> 00:02:41,378
I will tell you what happened.
81
00:02:41,447 --> 00:02:44,448
Instead of helping
Manny get Sherry back,
82
00:02:44,550 --> 00:02:46,950
he stole her for himself!
83
00:02:48,354 --> 00:02:50,320
It's true. Sherry and I are a thing.
84
00:02:50,422 --> 00:02:52,556
- What?! - Oh, my God. Wow.
- Seriously?
85
00:02:52,658 --> 00:02:54,024
Cam, take Manny off.
86
00:02:54,126 --> 00:02:55,325
He's not coming.
87
00:02:55,427 --> 00:02:57,361
Okay, fine. Everybody
just sit wherever they want,
88
00:02:57,463 --> 00:03:00,230
like a bunch of hobos
around a barrel fire.
89
00:03:13,644 --> 00:03:15,248
Luke, how could you do this?
90
00:03:15,308 --> 00:03:16,474
And to Manny, of all people?
91
00:03:16,576 --> 00:03:19,877
I feel bad,
but this thing with Sherry is...
92
00:03:19,979 --> 00:03:21,245
special.
93
00:03:21,347 --> 00:03:23,247
This isn't my usual hit it and quit it.
94
00:03:23,349 --> 00:03:24,649
- That's rough on the ears.
- Charming.
95
00:03:24,751 --> 00:03:26,484
Plus, Sherry doesn't want
to be with Manny,
96
00:03:26,586 --> 00:03:28,853
and we really connect.
97
00:03:29,721 --> 00:03:32,890
Well, I... I guess if you really care
about her that much...
98
00:03:32,992 --> 00:03:35,626
I do. She's smart and cool,
99
00:03:35,728 --> 00:03:36,761
and, man, does she make me laugh.
100
00:03:36,863 --> 00:03:37,895
I get it.
101
00:03:37,897 --> 00:03:39,563
Nothing sexier than a funny woman.
102
00:03:40,466 --> 00:03:42,166
Or an organized one.
103
00:03:42,268 --> 00:03:44,402
So, what's up with you and Cam?
104
00:03:44,504 --> 00:03:45,670
I'm sensing tension.
105
00:03:45,772 --> 00:03:47,104
I didn't sense any tension.
106
00:03:47,206 --> 00:03:48,606
I was just looking for some drama
107
00:03:48,708 --> 00:03:50,141
and figured it was a safe bet.
108
00:03:50,243 --> 00:03:51,676
- There is tension!
- Mm!
109
00:03:51,778 --> 00:03:53,778
Okay, so, first of all,
110
00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,147
he's being extra crazy
about this dinner.
111
00:03:56,249 --> 00:03:57,748
- Uh-huh.
- But now get this...
112
00:03:57,850 --> 00:03:59,216
Every Christmas, I complain about
113
00:03:59,319 --> 00:04:01,752
having to go home with him to...
to see his family,
114
00:04:01,854 --> 00:04:03,888
and this year,
he said I don't have to go.
115
00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:05,656
And he was totally cool about it.
116
00:04:05,758 --> 00:04:07,725
Oh, no. Super fishy.
117
00:04:07,827 --> 00:04:09,994
So, you didn't find any clues
when you went through his luggage?
118
00:04:10,096 --> 00:04:11,696
I... didn't go through his luggage.
119
00:04:11,798 --> 00:04:13,531
It's like you want your
marriage to fall apart.
120
00:04:13,633 --> 00:04:15,633
Come on. Ugh.
121
00:04:16,936 --> 00:04:18,936
What are we gonna do
about Luke and Manny?
122
00:04:19,038 --> 00:04:20,871
Nothing. The last thing I want
123
00:04:20,973 --> 00:04:22,406
is to get into a whole
thing with Gloria.
124
00:04:22,508 --> 00:04:23,541
Hey, hon, got a minute?
125
00:04:23,543 --> 00:04:24,809
Ugh. Second to last.
126
00:04:24,911 --> 00:04:26,811
Sorry, Dad! I gotta get into
a whole thing with Gloria.
127
00:04:26,913 --> 00:04:28,412
Or nobody gets into
anything with anybody
128
00:04:28,514 --> 00:04:30,114
and we have a storybook Christmas.
129
00:04:30,216 --> 00:04:31,449
- How about a mini cheeseball?
- Mnh-mnh.
130
00:04:31,551 --> 00:04:33,684
Is Luke going to break up with Sherry?
131
00:04:33,786 --> 00:04:36,554
Gloria, I am sorry
that Manny is so upset,
132
00:04:36,656 --> 00:04:38,389
but Luke's feelings are sincere.
133
00:04:38,491 --> 00:04:40,291
He's already beating himself up.
134
00:04:40,393 --> 00:04:42,360
Please, don't be mad at him.
135
00:04:42,462 --> 00:04:44,261
You're right.
I shouldn't be mad at Luke.
136
00:04:44,364 --> 00:04:45,796
He didn't raise himself.
137
00:04:45,898 --> 00:04:47,231
Uh...
138
00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:48,399
one more time?
139
00:04:48,501 --> 00:04:51,035
Based on the stories from your past,
140
00:04:51,137 --> 00:04:55,106
you've rarely denied yourself
the pleasures of the flesh.
141
00:04:55,208 --> 00:04:56,240
- Okay! Time...
- Wow!
142
00:04:56,342 --> 00:04:58,008
- Time out! Time out!
- Cam? Cam!
143
00:04:58,111 --> 00:05:00,544
Why do you have a first-class
ticket to Missouri?
144
00:05:00,646 --> 00:05:03,180
Okay, not now. And why are you
digging through my suitcase?
145
00:05:03,282 --> 00:05:04,315
- Uh...
- Hey, Dad?
146
00:05:04,317 --> 00:05:05,483
Are you just gonna stand there
147
00:05:05,585 --> 00:05:07,184
while your wife calls me a tramp?
148
00:05:07,286 --> 00:05:09,487
I feel this is a risky time to weigh in.
149
00:05:09,589 --> 00:05:10,688
Agreed. No more fighting.
150
00:05:10,790 --> 00:05:13,090
Let's just all enjoy a cheeseball!
151
00:05:13,192 --> 00:05:15,259
- Mnh.
- It's my grandma's 100-year-old recipe,
152
00:05:15,361 --> 00:05:17,528
except I use cayenne
pepper instead of cocaine.
153
00:05:17,630 --> 00:05:18,696
I'm sorry, Gloria.
154
00:05:18,798 --> 00:05:20,498
No one calls my wife loose.
155
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:23,267
In her day, did she enjoy the
company of a few men? Sure.
156
00:05:23,369 --> 00:05:24,435
Is it hard to leave the house
157
00:05:24,537 --> 00:05:26,203
without running into
one of her ex-lovers?
158
00:05:26,305 --> 00:05:27,438
Depends on what city we're in.
159
00:05:27,540 --> 00:05:28,606
Do you have an end to this?
160
00:05:28,708 --> 00:05:30,474
Her body, her choices,
161
00:05:30,543 --> 00:05:32,510
all over this beautiful planet!
162
00:05:32,612 --> 00:05:34,512
- Can we get back to the first-class ticket thing?
- Yeah. Yeah.
163
00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:35,880
What are we hiding?
164
00:05:35,982 --> 00:05:37,214
Okay, I'm not sure what
you have to do with this,
165
00:05:37,316 --> 00:05:39,016
but my parents bought me that ticket.
166
00:05:39,085 --> 00:05:41,152
Your parents?
The people whose idea of fancy
167
00:05:41,254 --> 00:05:43,354
is dropping a Certs
into a jar of schnapps?
168
00:05:43,456 --> 00:05:45,523
I'll have you know that
Grandma's Mint Rockets
169
00:05:45,591 --> 00:05:47,925
are the cocktail of choice
at the governor's mansion.
170
00:05:48,027 --> 00:05:49,427
You coddle Manny.
171
00:05:49,529 --> 00:05:51,228
He should already be over Sherry.
172
00:05:51,330 --> 00:05:53,497
But I guess that's what
happens when you let a kid
173
00:05:53,566 --> 00:05:55,499
sleep in your bed till he's... 15.
174
00:05:55,601 --> 00:05:56,667
13.
175
00:05:56,669 --> 00:05:58,169
Why are we talking about Manny, anyway,
176
00:05:58,271 --> 00:05:59,904
when this is clearly Phil's fault?
177
00:06:00,006 --> 00:06:00,905
- What?
- What?!
178
00:06:00,907 --> 00:06:01,972
Well, I mean, you obviously
179
00:06:02,041 --> 00:06:03,874
didn't teach Luke about
the gentlemen's code.
180
00:06:03,976 --> 00:06:05,009
I did so!
181
00:06:05,111 --> 00:06:06,510
Never leave a high-five hanging,
182
00:06:06,612 --> 00:06:08,979
no hug is too tight if
you slap the guy's back...
183
00:06:09,081 --> 00:06:10,948
It's never steal a broad from a friend,
184
00:06:11,017 --> 00:06:12,283
never let him grow a mustache
185
00:06:12,385 --> 00:06:13,884
unless they're a first responder.
186
00:06:13,986 --> 00:06:17,021
Okay. That is some high
horse you're on there, Dad.
187
00:06:17,123 --> 00:06:19,490
Accusing Phil of dropping
the parenting ball?
188
00:06:19,592 --> 00:06:20,691
Here we go.
189
00:06:20,793 --> 00:06:22,493
Name two of my friends growing up.
190
00:06:22,595 --> 00:06:24,061
The mean one and the heavy one.
191
00:06:25,264 --> 00:06:28,198
- Hey, just a heads-up... Manny's here.
- What?
192
00:06:28,201 --> 00:06:30,301
That shows how brave he is.
193
00:06:30,403 --> 00:06:32,402
Eh, but let's talk about something else.
194
00:06:32,455 --> 00:06:36,256
The last thing he wants is
to make all this a big deal.
195
00:06:38,694 --> 00:06:40,094
Hello, all.
196
00:06:41,731 --> 00:06:43,330
Forgive my somber drapings,
197
00:06:43,432 --> 00:06:45,666
but like Masha in Chekhov's
"The Seagull,"
198
00:06:45,768 --> 00:06:47,534
I am in mourning for my life.
199
00:06:48,604 --> 00:06:50,537
And don't worry.
I don't want any trouble.
200
00:06:50,639 --> 00:06:53,073
Today is not about me.
It's about family.
201
00:06:53,175 --> 00:06:54,641
Our family.
202
00:06:54,744 --> 00:06:56,376
And the deep, profound love we share.
203
00:06:56,479 --> 00:06:57,978
Man, that's cheesy.
204
00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,747
Maybe, but it's how I feel.
205
00:06:59,849 --> 00:07:03,484
Thank you, Manny,
for reminding us all what's important
206
00:07:03,586 --> 00:07:06,620
and how this should be the
most memorable Christmas.
207
00:07:06,722 --> 00:07:09,456
Manny, would you care
for a champagne cocktail?
208
00:07:09,558 --> 00:07:11,592
Please. I do love champagne.
209
00:07:11,694 --> 00:07:13,460
And maybe when I turn my back,
210
00:07:13,562 --> 00:07:15,662
Luke can put his tongue all over it.
211
00:07:20,202 --> 00:07:21,819
Everything hurts!
212
00:07:23,226 --> 00:07:24,676
Luke, I think you should go.
213
00:07:24,723 --> 00:07:26,689
No. He is not going anywhere.
214
00:07:26,791 --> 00:07:30,659
Every family has a bad seed
that needs to be cast out
215
00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:32,878
so that they can find their way back.
216
00:07:32,980 --> 00:07:35,414
I thought that ours
was going to be Haley,
217
00:07:35,516 --> 00:07:37,449
but an accidental pregnancy
218
00:07:37,518 --> 00:07:40,085
saved her from a life of degradation.
219
00:07:40,187 --> 00:07:41,289
Aww!
220
00:07:41,455 --> 00:07:43,022
- W...
- Nobody has to leave.
221
00:07:43,124 --> 00:07:45,057
I can spend one evening
with the people I love
222
00:07:45,159 --> 00:07:46,358
and a shifty lecher
223
00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:48,260
who sleeps in a shower cap
filled with mayonnaise.
224
00:07:48,362 --> 00:07:49,395
It gives me my sheen.
225
00:07:49,497 --> 00:07:51,296
And I told you that in confidence,
you hump!
226
00:07:51,399 --> 00:07:52,898
Okay! Knock it off!
227
00:07:52,967 --> 00:07:54,833
It is time for some farm justice.
228
00:07:54,935 --> 00:07:56,969
Back home, when we have two alpha bulls,
229
00:07:57,071 --> 00:08:00,172
we lock 'em in a pen
and let them fight it out.
230
00:08:00,224 --> 00:08:02,724
This is between Manny and Luke.
231
00:08:02,826 --> 00:08:04,926
Come on! Let's go. Hyah! Hyah!
232
00:08:04,995 --> 00:08:07,262
Oh, and help yourself
to a gingerbread person.
233
00:08:07,364 --> 00:08:09,231
They're both gluten and gender free.
234
00:08:09,333 --> 00:08:10,732
Ohh!
235
00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:13,435
- Oh.
- Isn't they a cutie?
236
00:08:13,537 --> 00:08:16,738
Do not come out of this
room until this is settled.
237
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,608
I will tell you what I tell the bulls,
gentlemen...
238
00:08:19,710 --> 00:08:20,876
I love you both,
239
00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:23,845
but don't make me regret
letting you keep your testicles.
240
00:08:26,850 --> 00:08:27,916
Okay. Punch me.
241
00:08:28,018 --> 00:08:29,484
I know it sounds crazy, but I think...
242
00:08:30,587 --> 00:08:32,220
Whoa! Amazing!
243
00:08:32,739 --> 00:08:34,055
I can't believe you did that!
244
00:08:34,124 --> 00:08:36,558
Me neither. And it didn't make
me feel better, by the way.
245
00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:38,527
Maybe kick him or jab him in the eye.
246
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:39,628
Manny, I'm sorry.
247
00:08:39,630 --> 00:08:40,829
I wish it were someone else,
248
00:08:40,931 --> 00:08:42,831
but I really do care about Sherry.
249
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:44,533
I go to sleep thinking about her.
250
00:08:44,635 --> 00:08:46,368
I wake up thinking about her.
251
00:08:46,670 --> 00:08:48,036
When I see her, it's like...
252
00:08:48,138 --> 00:08:49,771
my heart is smiling.
253
00:08:49,873 --> 00:08:52,607
Wow. I didn't think this
house could get any gayer.
254
00:08:52,709 --> 00:08:55,610
Well, I care about her, too,
and I want her to be happy.
255
00:08:55,712 --> 00:08:57,011
So...
256
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,680
make sure she knows how you feel.
257
00:08:58,782 --> 00:09:00,949
She's the kind of girl
who needs to hear that.
258
00:09:01,376 --> 00:09:03,985
I don't know.
I'm not good at that stuff.
259
00:09:04,004 --> 00:09:06,037
I'm better off just playing it cool.
260
00:09:07,307 --> 00:09:08,940
Can't believe I'm saying this...
261
00:09:09,009 --> 00:09:10,041
but I can help.
262
00:09:10,043 --> 00:09:11,576
I'll talk, you type.
263
00:09:12,746 --> 00:09:14,679
Are you being nice to
make me feel worser?
264
00:09:14,781 --> 00:09:17,048
Okay, I'll talk and type.
265
00:09:18,151 --> 00:09:19,283
Honey, there you are!
266
00:09:19,386 --> 00:09:20,785
I've been wanting to talk
to you about something...
267
00:09:20,887 --> 00:09:23,621
About the greatest golf
shot you ever made?
268
00:09:23,723 --> 00:09:25,223
- What was that?
- Oh, man.
269
00:09:25,325 --> 00:09:27,191
- 10th hole at Riviera.
- Mm-hmm?
270
00:09:27,293 --> 00:09:28,726
- I had a decision to make.
- Yeah?
271
00:09:28,795 --> 00:09:31,129
I could go left and stay
out of trouble or...
272
00:09:31,231 --> 00:09:32,563
Can't do it. Is Phil calling me?
273
00:09:32,666 --> 00:09:34,899
Listen, before you run,
I have a professional opportunity
274
00:09:34,968 --> 00:09:36,267
- I'd like you to think...
- I-I'd love to hear it.
275
00:09:36,369 --> 00:09:38,136
J... I'm just a little stuffy.
Let me get some air.
276
00:09:38,873 --> 00:09:40,238
Are you aware that there are
277
00:09:40,306 --> 00:09:43,340
15 times more dogs in
the world than Italians?
278
00:09:43,409 --> 00:09:44,575
Feels offensive. Not sure why.
279
00:09:44,677 --> 00:09:45,709
- Should we be mingling?
- Listen.
280
00:09:45,778 --> 00:09:47,578
- I'm not gonna do a big spiel.
- Mm-hmm.
281
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:50,314
Suffice to say that science has shown us
282
00:09:50,416 --> 00:09:53,984
that having a well-rested dog
improves our earning potential
283
00:09:54,087 --> 00:09:55,586
more than attending college.
284
00:09:55,655 --> 00:09:58,222
Dad? Can we play with my trucks now?
285
00:09:58,324 --> 00:09:59,890
Give me a couple of minutes,
buddy, okay?
286
00:09:59,959 --> 00:10:03,461
'Cause I'm talking to the
new VP of Dog Beds by Stella.
287
00:10:05,331 --> 00:10:06,430
Claire?
288
00:10:08,201 --> 00:10:09,533
Claire?
289
00:10:10,503 --> 00:10:11,735
Do you really think that Cam's parents
290
00:10:11,838 --> 00:10:13,170
bought him a first-class ticket?
291
00:10:13,272 --> 00:10:14,305
Aren't they poor?
292
00:10:14,407 --> 00:10:15,773
Don't they, like, eat plants and animals
293
00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:16,974
they find in their yard?
294
00:10:17,076 --> 00:10:18,943
They're farmers, yes.
295
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,044
We gotta dig deeper.
296
00:10:20,046 --> 00:10:21,712
Get Cam's phone. Check his texts.
297
00:10:21,814 --> 00:10:23,414
That's an invasion of his privacy.
298
00:10:23,416 --> 00:10:25,082
Plus, I don't even know his passcode.
299
00:10:25,151 --> 00:10:26,517
Well, I just need his face.
300
00:10:26,619 --> 00:10:28,552
I break into Dylan's phone all
the time while he's sleeping.
301
00:10:28,654 --> 00:10:29,720
Not that I need to.
302
00:10:29,789 --> 00:10:31,722
All he does is Google water parks.
303
00:10:32,124 --> 00:10:34,324
Ooh! Uncle Cam!
304
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,493
I forgot my phone in my car,
305
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:38,762
and I want to take a Boomerang
of me and my favorite uncle
306
00:10:38,864 --> 00:10:40,197
at his gorgeous Christmas dinner.
307
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,999
- Can I use yours?
- Well, that's very flattering,
308
00:10:42,101 --> 00:10:44,167
- but I'm a little busy with...
- A-5, 6, 7, 8.
309
00:10:44,236 --> 00:10:46,770
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
310
00:10:46,872 --> 00:10:49,573
Aha! It's gonna be huge.
I'm gonna text it to myself.
311
00:10:49,575 --> 00:10:50,640
Okay, well, thank you.
312
00:10:50,643 --> 00:10:51,875
We're in. Bring the wine.
313
00:10:51,977 --> 00:10:53,910
Ooh, do Lily next.
I'm worried she's vaping.
314
00:10:54,013 --> 00:10:56,079
Dad? What are you doing
over here by yourself?
315
00:10:56,181 --> 00:10:57,247
Are you okay?
316
00:10:57,349 --> 00:10:59,683
Oh, I'm... I'm worried
this Luke and Manny thing
317
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,485
will affect me and Gloria at work.
318
00:11:01,587 --> 00:11:03,520
We've been having such a great time.
319
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:05,722
I call us "Chica and the Man."
320
00:11:08,994 --> 00:11:10,927
Dad, I have to tell you something.
321
00:11:11,030 --> 00:11:12,762
- Tell him what?
- How?!
322
00:11:12,764 --> 00:11:15,098
Hey, everybody,
look who's friends again.
323
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,206
That's right.
324
00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:18,468
Luke's gonna date Sherry, Manny's okay.
325
00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:20,904
Problem solved, farm-style!
326
00:11:21,006 --> 00:11:22,072
Moooo...
327
00:11:22,174 --> 00:11:23,273
Sorry about that.
328
00:11:23,375 --> 00:11:24,741
Back home, when someone
would yell "farm-style,"
329
00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:25,842
we'd all moo together.
330
00:11:25,844 --> 00:11:26,943
It's a sign of good breeding.
331
00:11:27,045 --> 00:11:29,946
Anyway, come. Sit, sit.
Let's go. Sit down.
332
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,615
How do you call yourself Colombian
333
00:11:32,718 --> 00:11:36,119
after letting that skunk
off the hook so easily?
334
00:11:36,221 --> 00:11:38,822
Tell me, at least, that you have
one of his toes in your pocket.
335
00:11:38,924 --> 00:11:41,491
Come on, now, Gloria. This is good news.
336
00:11:41,593 --> 00:11:43,760
Disloyalty being rewarded?
337
00:11:43,862 --> 00:11:45,829
Disloyalty? Really?
338
00:11:45,931 --> 00:11:48,832
Dad, I caught Gloria interviewing
for a job with another Realtor.
339
00:11:48,934 --> 00:11:50,166
What?!
340
00:11:50,268 --> 00:11:53,770
- Chica! How could you?
- There she is.
341
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:56,806
The woman that threw herself
out the window to avoid me.
342
00:11:56,908 --> 00:11:59,108
No, Dad. Don't be silly. I-I fell.
343
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:00,293
No, no, no, honey. I get it.
344
00:12:00,395 --> 00:12:03,029
You don't want to come and work for me,
and I think I know why.
345
00:12:03,031 --> 00:12:04,597
Dad, I'm sorry.
346
00:12:04,699 --> 00:12:06,165
No, you don't want to let me down again,
347
00:12:06,268 --> 00:12:09,802
like with that whole...
Ezravision fiasco.
348
00:12:09,904 --> 00:12:10,981
What?
349
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,640
Oh, insensitive old white men.
350
00:12:13,742 --> 00:12:15,375
What would Christmas be without one?
351
00:12:15,477 --> 00:12:18,578
We seem to have insensitive
people of all ethnicities!
352
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:20,680
Was that a shot at me? I've been good.
353
00:12:20,749 --> 00:12:23,016
You can't believe the
stuff I haven't said today.
354
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,684
Cam, what's up with your trip home?
355
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:26,385
Your parents aren't even there.
356
00:12:26,387 --> 00:12:28,521
"Merry Christmas. Not Happy Holidays.
357
00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:29,755
- From Galveston."
- Okay,
358
00:12:29,857 --> 00:12:31,891
how are you snooping through my phone?!
359
00:12:32,383 --> 00:12:34,360
You! That was a false Boomerang?
360
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,495
Well... You know what?
Forget it. Forgiven.
361
00:12:36,564 --> 00:12:39,265
I just want today to
be a special Christmas.
362
00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:40,800
Now, please, everyone sit down.
363
00:12:40,902 --> 00:12:43,669
We'll grab hands, say grace,
have a lovely meal.
364
00:12:43,771 --> 00:12:47,106
Okay. Grab the person
to your left and right.
365
00:12:47,724 --> 00:12:48,574
Dear Lord...
366
00:12:48,576 --> 00:12:50,743
I knew you were still pissed
about that Ezravision thing.
367
00:12:50,845 --> 00:12:52,144
- Claire, we are praying.
- Mm-hmm.
368
00:12:52,246 --> 00:12:53,779
Thank you for this food...
369
00:12:53,848 --> 00:12:56,682
You signed off on that whole deal,
buddy!
370
00:12:56,784 --> 00:12:59,352
And I am not afraid
of disappointing you.
371
00:12:59,454 --> 00:13:02,521
...and for our family as we
rise above petty grievances...
372
00:13:02,590 --> 00:13:04,890
It's because novelty
dog beds are stupid.
373
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:07,393
Dogs don't care if they're
sleeping in a pineapple!
374
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,829
The Pi�a Colassie got
four woofs on Whelp!
375
00:13:09,931 --> 00:13:11,163
That just makes you sound like some...
376
00:13:11,265 --> 00:13:12,698
Please, Lord, help us not use terms
377
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,301
like "imbecile" or "senile old man."
378
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:17,803
This is the thanks I get for
getting you back into the workplace?
379
00:13:17,905 --> 00:13:19,004
Nice line, Jay.
380
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,573
I could say the same thing to your wife.
381
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:23,075
I can't believe that you ratted me out.
382
00:13:23,167 --> 00:13:24,176
I'm not afraid of you!
383
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,244
With... everyone else around.
384
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,646
Okay. That's enough.
385
00:13:26,748 --> 00:13:28,648
I can't believe you all
couldn't hold it together
386
00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:31,350
for one meal and not argue!
387
00:13:31,452 --> 00:13:33,753
Cam, this is what we
always do on the holidays.
388
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,021
What's the big deal?
389
00:13:35,123 --> 00:13:36,222
The big deal is that...
390
00:13:36,324 --> 00:13:38,057
this could be our last
Christmas together.
391
00:13:38,159 --> 00:13:39,592
- What?
- Last Christmas?
392
00:13:39,684 --> 00:13:40,693
- Stop being so dramatic.
- What do you mean?
393
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,328
Oh, my God. You're dying?
394
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:44,497
No, I'm not dying. It's something else.
395
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:51,937
Is he pausing to be dramatic?
396
00:13:52,411 --> 00:13:53,706
What do you think?
397
00:14:00,334 --> 00:14:02,178
- Will you j...
- It all started last fall.
398
00:14:02,281 --> 00:14:04,648
A scout came to one of my
games and liked what he saw,
399
00:14:04,717 --> 00:14:06,984
and now I'm one of two finalists
400
00:14:07,086 --> 00:14:08,318
for the head coaching position
401
00:14:08,387 --> 00:14:10,921
at the University of
North Central Missouri.
402
00:14:11,023 --> 00:14:12,923
- What?
- What do you mean?
403
00:14:12,992 --> 00:14:14,191
Hey, that's a big deal.
404
00:14:14,293 --> 00:14:16,059
Yeah, they're flying me out to, uh,
405
00:14:16,161 --> 00:14:19,129
meet the athletic director,
and if all goes well...
406
00:14:19,231 --> 00:14:20,597
I could start this spring.
407
00:14:20,699 --> 00:14:22,799
W-Why didn't you just tell me?
408
00:14:22,901 --> 00:14:24,134
'Cause I-I didn't want to stress you out
409
00:14:24,236 --> 00:14:25,635
until it was... it was real.
410
00:14:26,297 --> 00:14:27,962
So... wait.
411
00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:29,339
W-Would you guys really move?
412
00:14:29,441 --> 00:14:30,607
Mitchell's not moving to Missouri.
413
00:14:30,709 --> 00:14:33,110
What would he do for work?
Prosecute Otis, the town drunk?
414
00:14:33,212 --> 00:14:34,344
Excuse me. It's not Mayberry.
415
00:14:34,413 --> 00:14:36,546
And I'll have you know,
our town ne'er-do-well
416
00:14:36,648 --> 00:14:39,983
is a female who's addicted to
prescription nasal spray, so...
417
00:14:40,085 --> 00:14:42,753
Okay, and... and...
and just for the record, I...
418
00:14:43,501 --> 00:14:44,730
I would go.
419
00:14:44,765 --> 00:14:47,240
I mean, it's only fair.
Cam's been here forever.
420
00:14:47,945 --> 00:14:49,251
I don't like this.
421
00:14:49,444 --> 00:14:50,510
I know, you guys.
422
00:14:50,612 --> 00:14:52,645
But this is an incredible
opportunity for him.
423
00:14:52,748 --> 00:14:54,013
How could I say no?
424
00:14:54,116 --> 00:14:55,281
You guys can't go!
425
00:14:55,350 --> 00:14:57,417
I don't want my babies
growing up without you.
426
00:14:57,519 --> 00:14:59,586
They're never gonna believe my stories!
427
00:14:59,654 --> 00:15:02,055
See, this is why I kept it a secret.
428
00:15:02,157 --> 00:15:04,090
Here I was, worried
about you all ruining Christmas,
429
00:15:04,159 --> 00:15:06,192
and... now I've done it.
430
00:15:06,294 --> 00:15:08,128
I'm sorry, everyone.
431
00:15:08,196 --> 00:15:09,696
You have no reason to be sorry.
432
00:15:09,798 --> 00:15:11,331
Yes, I do. I break up families.
433
00:15:11,433 --> 00:15:12,439
I'm Liz Taylor.
434
00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:13,867
Why is it never a man?
435
00:15:13,969 --> 00:15:15,335
For what it's worth, Uncle Cam,
436
00:15:15,437 --> 00:15:16,870
my company has an office in New York,
437
00:15:16,938 --> 00:15:18,538
and I said I'd be open to transferring,
438
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,607
so I could easily break up the family.
439
00:15:20,709 --> 00:15:22,809
You... You never mentioned this to us.
440
00:15:22,861 --> 00:15:24,794
Yeah, and I told NERP that I would be
441
00:15:24,896 --> 00:15:26,596
open to working at the Paris office.
442
00:15:26,698 --> 00:15:28,564
I mean, Dylan and I have
always wanted to live there.
443
00:15:29,127 --> 00:15:31,701
Wait. Y-You'd take
the babies to France?
444
00:15:31,803 --> 00:15:33,770
We... We... We've talked about it.
445
00:15:33,872 --> 00:15:36,172
Sorry. I get nervous when
you're all looking at me.
446
00:15:37,575 --> 00:15:39,075
A-And I applied
447
00:15:39,144 --> 00:15:41,277
to the Royal Academy of
Dramatic Arts in London.
448
00:15:41,379 --> 00:15:42,578
I could end up there.
449
00:15:42,647 --> 00:15:44,213
Yeah, that's a real possibility.
450
00:15:44,315 --> 00:15:45,448
Listen, if everyone's taking off,
451
00:15:45,550 --> 00:15:47,250
maybe we buy that house in Palm Springs,
452
00:15:47,318 --> 00:15:48,518
spend a little more time there.
453
00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:50,586
And that means next Christmas would be
454
00:15:50,689 --> 00:15:53,456
me and Phil and some sad little ham?
455
00:15:53,558 --> 00:15:56,025
Oh, wouldn't Joe go
with Grandpa and Gloria?
456
00:15:57,228 --> 00:15:59,662
Sorry, sweetie.
I'm just drunk and upset.
457
00:16:00,214 --> 00:16:01,914
This got sad.
458
00:16:02,016 --> 00:16:04,250
- Right. Well, no... no one's leaving now.
- Yeah.
459
00:16:04,352 --> 00:16:06,452
You know, so let's just enjoy
each other while we still can.
460
00:16:06,554 --> 00:16:08,521
- Right?
- Yes. Help me with the salads, Mitch.
461
00:16:08,613 --> 00:16:09,622
- Yes. Okay.
- Yes.
462
00:16:09,624 --> 00:16:10,656
We'll be right back.
463
00:16:16,130 --> 00:16:17,329
Hey.
464
00:16:17,431 --> 00:16:19,598
Phil...
465
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:22,067
I took that interview
because I love you,
466
00:16:22,136 --> 00:16:24,737
and I don't want to screw
up our relationship.
467
00:16:24,839 --> 00:16:27,806
I don't want to
end up like Claire and Jay.
468
00:16:27,909 --> 00:16:30,276
Please. You and I have been doing great.
469
00:16:30,344 --> 00:16:31,577
Because I hold back.
470
00:16:31,679 --> 00:16:33,279
I have strong opinions
471
00:16:33,381 --> 00:16:36,081
that I don't tell you
because I want to get along.
472
00:16:36,184 --> 00:16:37,383
Like what?
473
00:16:37,485 --> 00:16:39,051
You can tell me anything.
474
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,953
Like that bus bench sign.
475
00:16:41,055 --> 00:16:42,688
I think it's goofy.
476
00:16:42,790 --> 00:16:47,626
If we have 20/20 vision,
why are we wearing glasses?
477
00:16:47,728 --> 00:16:48,928
I get it.
478
00:16:49,030 --> 00:16:50,162
I just wanted to bring a
little joy to our country
479
00:16:50,264 --> 00:16:51,497
in this tumultuous time,
but you're not from here,
480
00:16:51,599 --> 00:16:53,098
so maybe it doesn't
matter as much to you.
481
00:16:53,201 --> 00:16:54,299
You see?
482
00:16:54,301 --> 00:16:55,868
Yes.
483
00:16:55,937 --> 00:16:57,636
Yes. I'm sensitive.
484
00:16:58,558 --> 00:17:00,506
But I-I need this.
485
00:17:00,608 --> 00:17:03,876
New ideas, someone...
someone to push up against me.
486
00:17:03,978 --> 00:17:05,477
And honestly, I can't think of anyone
487
00:17:05,580 --> 00:17:08,180
I'd rather have pushing
up against me than you.
488
00:17:08,282 --> 00:17:09,848
Ay, Phil, it's been years.
489
00:17:09,951 --> 00:17:12,551
I can't pretend I don't
hear those anymore.
490
00:17:12,653 --> 00:17:14,053
Hear what?
491
00:17:15,089 --> 00:17:16,889
Yeah. You're right.
492
00:17:16,991 --> 00:17:20,726
I did sign off on that whole...
Ezravision thing.
493
00:17:20,828 --> 00:17:21,994
- Mm-hmm.
- It's not your fault.
494
00:17:22,702 --> 00:17:23,896
Well, I, uh...
495
00:17:23,998 --> 00:17:28,567
I might be a little defensive
because I feel responsible.
496
00:17:28,669 --> 00:17:31,103
And dog beds aren't...
they're not stupid.
497
00:17:31,205 --> 00:17:33,539
People are happy when their
dogs are happy, right?
498
00:17:33,641 --> 00:17:35,574
Well, I'm definitely saving lives,
499
00:17:35,676 --> 00:17:38,844
but, I mean, they're not...
exactly flying off the shelf.
500
00:17:38,913 --> 00:17:41,013
You were trying to bring
me aboard a sinking ship?
501
00:17:41,115 --> 00:17:43,249
Well, I was bringing you aboard
to... to save it,
502
00:17:43,351 --> 00:17:46,352
or even if you couldn't, I-I...
503
00:17:46,454 --> 00:17:48,554
I just miss working together.
504
00:17:48,656 --> 00:17:51,757
I feel it gave me a
second chance with you.
505
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,027
It did. It did, Dad.
506
00:17:55,129 --> 00:17:56,996
And we're good now.
507
00:17:57,098 --> 00:17:59,365
So, it's time for me to go
and prove myself on my own.
508
00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:01,700
Look at this.
509
00:18:02,494 --> 00:18:04,179
10 seconds ago, that was you.
510
00:18:05,072 --> 00:18:07,406
I gotta make sure he and I
don't need a second chance.
511
00:18:07,508 --> 00:18:08,640
Yeah. Well, watch out.
512
00:18:08,742 --> 00:18:10,342
Pretty soon,
he's gonna be working for you.
513
00:18:10,444 --> 00:18:11,977
You know, I don't know
if he has the head for it.
514
00:18:12,079 --> 00:18:14,646
He pitched a dog bed the other
day in the shape of a cat.
515
00:18:15,125 --> 00:18:16,949
I mean, who wants
to sleep in your enemy?
516
00:18:17,051 --> 00:18:19,017
It would be like me
napping in Jon Voight.
517
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:22,120
- I told you that story...
- Yeah. Yeah.
518
00:18:22,222 --> 00:18:24,790
Look at that.
You got what you wanted for Christmas.
519
00:18:24,892 --> 00:18:26,892
Yes, and can I just say,
everyone is exactly
520
00:18:26,994 --> 00:18:28,660
where I put them in the first place?
521
00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:36,935
What is it about the holidays
that makes us so emotional?
522
00:18:38,372 --> 00:18:40,405
Is it watching our kids grow up?
523
00:18:40,507 --> 00:18:41,907
Who's gonna get it?
524
00:18:45,045 --> 00:18:47,579
Is it how we put our
disagreements aside?
525
00:18:47,681 --> 00:18:51,149
What if instead,
I am Cher, you are Sonny,
526
00:18:51,251 --> 00:18:53,919
and it says "We've got you, babe"?
527
00:18:54,021 --> 00:18:57,222
Gloria, I-I don't know how to say this,
but that is
528
00:18:57,324 --> 00:19:01,093
the freshest damn idea
I have ever heard!
529
00:19:01,195 --> 00:19:02,628
I love it!
530
00:19:02,730 --> 00:19:05,831
Is it just being with people
you can't imagine life without?
531
00:19:05,933 --> 00:19:07,199
Oh, look, sweetie.
532
00:19:07,301 --> 00:19:10,002
It says that this Missouri
town has a lively art scene.
533
00:19:10,104 --> 00:19:12,170
It says "ark scene."
534
00:19:12,272 --> 00:19:15,107
They're preparing for
the Lord's next flood?
535
00:19:15,209 --> 00:19:16,241
Oh.
536
00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:17,342
Fun.
537
00:19:17,344 --> 00:19:18,477
Or is it...
538
00:19:18,579 --> 00:19:20,879
Enough! Can we just
take this picture already?
539
00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:23,415
Excuse me for wanting to cherish you all
540
00:19:23,517 --> 00:19:24,750
as long as I can.
541
00:19:24,852 --> 00:19:26,752
You don't even have the job yet.
542
00:19:26,854 --> 00:19:29,454
Alright, the timer's set, everyone.
We have 15 seconds!
543
00:19:29,556 --> 00:19:30,756
Let's go, everybody. Hurry up.
544
00:19:30,848 --> 00:19:31,857
Oh, my God.
545
00:19:31,859 --> 00:19:33,325
Sherry broke up with me.
546
00:19:33,855 --> 00:19:34,326
Oh.
547
00:19:34,331 --> 00:19:36,795
After I texted her all those nice
things you told me to say to her.
548
00:19:36,897 --> 00:19:38,296
Oh, yeah, that's right!
549
00:19:38,399 --> 00:19:40,532
She hates it when guys move too fast.
550
00:19:40,634 --> 00:19:42,434
Oh, well. Better to have loved and lost.
551
00:19:42,536 --> 00:19:44,770
There's my Colombian boy!
552
00:19:49,304 --> 00:19:50,370
Hey! I'm back!
553
00:19:50,373 --> 00:19:51,905
Hi!
554
00:19:52,008 --> 00:19:53,807
So, have you heard
anything about the job yet?
555
00:19:53,809 --> 00:19:54,942
No. No, not yet.
556
00:19:55,044 --> 00:19:56,944
And I may not
for a couple months, but...
557
00:19:57,046 --> 00:19:58,879
it's out of my control, and I'm just...
558
00:19:58,981 --> 00:20:00,446
I'm letting go.
559
00:20:00,447 --> 00:20:01,447
- _
- This is killing me!
560
00:20:01,448 --> 00:20:03,366
Our whole future hangs in the balance,
561
00:20:03,367 --> 00:20:04,867
and, these people... they don't care.
562
00:20:04,966 --> 00:20:06,165
They don't care!
563
00:20:06,267 --> 00:20:07,566
- _
- I'm better now.
564
00:20:07,669 --> 00:20:09,168
Whatever happens, happens.
565
00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:10,269
- _
- G-Give me my damn phone.
566
00:20:10,271 --> 00:20:11,671
I'm gonna call the sadists,
567
00:20:11,773 --> 00:20:13,739
and I'm gonna ask them why they hate me!
568
00:20:13,842 --> 00:20:15,475
- _
- You know what? Screw them.
569
00:20:15,577 --> 00:20:17,510
I love what we have.
570
00:20:17,602 --> 00:20:18,611
Mwah!
571
00:20:18,613 --> 00:20:19,679
Mwah!
572
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:21,914
I'm so blessed.
573
00:20:22,016 --> 00:20:24,217
- _
- It's like, no matter what I do,
574
00:20:24,319 --> 00:20:26,419
I'm always gonna have a B-plus life.
575
00:20:26,521 --> 00:20:27,987
Never an A.
576
00:20:28,089 --> 00:20:30,256
And... happy New Year to you, too.
577
00:20:36,063 --> 00:20:38,140
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
42651
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