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1
00:00:07,045 --> 00:00:08,960
[rattling]
2
00:00:12,181 --> 00:00:14,923
[dramatic music]
3
00:00:31,721 --> 00:00:36,721
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
4
00:00:37,075 --> 00:00:40,340
[dramatic rock music]
5
00:00:59,489 --> 00:01:02,360
♪ You said you'd
love me forever ♪
6
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:04,144
♪ I guess that was a lie
7
00:01:04,146 --> 00:01:08,061
♪ You did not
stand your ground ♪
8
00:01:08,063 --> 00:01:10,237
♪ You won't ever lose me
9
00:01:10,239 --> 00:01:11,630
♪ I bet you didn't think twice
10
00:01:11,632 --> 00:01:16,680
♪ But in your tears,
you'll drown ♪
11
00:01:18,421 --> 00:01:20,552
♪ I'm flying high
12
00:01:20,554 --> 00:01:25,602
♪ I can touch the sky, I
won't let you bring me down ♪
13
00:01:26,516 --> 00:01:28,429
♪ If I die tonight
14
00:01:28,431 --> 00:01:33,436
♪ I'll die living my life
because you won't be around ♪
15
00:01:43,664 --> 00:01:47,056
Guys, that was a
great night, man.
16
00:01:47,058 --> 00:01:48,536
We were on fire tonight.
17
00:01:48,538 --> 00:01:50,192
Did you see how
the crowd reacted?
18
00:01:51,019 --> 00:01:52,410
Crowd?
19
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,107
[Jack] Yeah, that's
what I call it, the crowd.
20
00:01:54,109 --> 00:01:57,415
There was five people and
only two of them were awake.
21
00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:58,677
They loved us.
22
00:01:58,679 --> 00:02:01,244
Did you see they
had our t-shirts on.
23
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:02,724
We're making a comeback!
24
00:02:02,726 --> 00:02:03,597
No, we're not.
25
00:02:05,163 --> 00:02:05,990
I'm done, man.
26
00:02:06,991 --> 00:02:08,600
Done?
27
00:02:08,602 --> 00:02:10,602
But we've got gigs lined up
for the rest of the year.
28
00:02:10,604 --> 00:02:11,690
What am I supposed to tell them,
29
00:02:11,692 --> 00:02:14,216
that Rat Poison is dead?
30
00:02:15,086 --> 00:02:16,697
Been dead a long time, Jack.
31
00:02:18,612 --> 00:02:22,135
Plus, we don't even make
enough money to break even.
32
00:02:22,137 --> 00:02:22,918
So, that's it?
33
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:23,789
It's about the money?
34
00:02:23,791 --> 00:02:25,399
No, no, no.
35
00:02:25,401 --> 00:02:27,749
Look, I just can't fit
it into my schedule.
36
00:02:27,751 --> 00:02:29,882
My boss wants me to take
over the audit team,
37
00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:32,928
so I'm gonna be traveling
more and more and,
38
00:02:32,930 --> 00:02:35,716
Jack, I'm afraid we've
been rat poisoned.
39
00:02:37,413 --> 00:02:39,587
Guys, what's going on here?
40
00:02:39,589 --> 00:02:41,243
My son's in Little League.
41
00:02:42,505 --> 00:02:44,505
My daughter's got dance
competition every weekend.
42
00:02:44,507 --> 00:02:46,814
I can't do this late
night routine, man.
43
00:02:47,641 --> 00:02:48,468
Sorry.
44
00:02:49,556 --> 00:02:50,380
Peter?
45
00:02:50,382 --> 00:02:51,556
I'm tired, man.
46
00:02:51,558 --> 00:02:53,601
I want to have my nights
and weekends free.
47
00:02:53,603 --> 00:02:55,298
I want to work on my boat.
48
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,519
We can still get together
and jam, just, like, for fun.
49
00:02:58,521 --> 00:03:01,481
Just like we used to do at
your dad's, back in the day.
50
00:03:04,222 --> 00:03:06,877
[dramatic music]
51
00:03:20,891 --> 00:03:22,978
[Jack] I don't get it, Dillon.
52
00:03:22,980 --> 00:03:24,284
Get what?
53
00:03:24,286 --> 00:03:26,506
The guys just
leaving the band.
54
00:03:27,724 --> 00:03:30,029
It's been our whole life.
55
00:03:30,031 --> 00:03:31,249
This sucks.
56
00:03:33,077 --> 00:03:34,773
Let me have a cigarette.
57
00:03:34,775 --> 00:03:36,252
I don't smoke.
58
00:03:36,254 --> 00:03:37,776
You got a damn
cigarette behind your ear.
59
00:03:37,778 --> 00:03:39,604
Let me see that one.
60
00:03:39,606 --> 00:03:40,561
No.
61
00:03:40,563 --> 00:03:41,693
And there's no smoking in here.
62
00:03:41,695 --> 00:03:42,609
You don't even smoke.
63
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:45,958
You're such a bitch.
64
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,788
I hate you, fuck you.
65
00:03:53,576 --> 00:03:54,751
I love you, man.
66
00:03:56,579 --> 00:03:58,318
Can I have another drink?
67
00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,756
How are you getting home?
68
00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:01,582
A car.
69
00:04:01,584 --> 00:04:03,671
What do you think?
70
00:04:03,673 --> 00:04:04,977
Let me have another drink.
71
00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:06,718
I think you're
done for the night.
72
00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:08,504
Don't you have the
early shift tomorrow?
73
00:04:09,244 --> 00:04:10,025
[groans]
74
00:04:10,027 --> 00:04:10,854
I don't care.
75
00:04:11,942 --> 00:04:13,594
Nothing matters anymore.
76
00:04:13,596 --> 00:04:15,074
Who cares?
77
00:04:15,076 --> 00:04:16,597
[Dillon] What about your wife?
78
00:04:16,599 --> 00:04:17,992
Sheila loves me.
79
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,602
She will understand.
80
00:04:21,604 --> 00:04:23,127
We are solid.
81
00:04:25,216 --> 00:04:27,173
You're not driving
home, I got you a ride.
82
00:04:27,175 --> 00:04:28,304
Who?
83
00:04:28,306 --> 00:04:29,133
Me.
84
00:04:30,613 --> 00:04:35,268
Chrissy, my last
only best friend.
85
00:04:35,270 --> 00:04:36,530
I love you, man.
86
00:04:36,532 --> 00:04:38,401
Hey, man, I told you,
you're not my type.
87
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:39,838
[chuckling]
[upbeat music]
88
00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:40,969
What?
89
00:04:40,971 --> 00:04:42,580
Rejected again by my friend.
90
00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:43,972
Not your type?
91
00:04:43,974 --> 00:04:46,845
I like my men
lean and successful.
92
00:04:46,847 --> 00:04:49,717
I still love you though,
buddy, that's why I'm here.
93
00:04:49,719 --> 00:04:51,589
He loves me.
94
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,503
He really loves me.
95
00:04:53,505 --> 00:04:54,679
Give Jackie a hug.
96
00:04:54,681 --> 00:04:56,506
[groans]
97
00:04:56,508 --> 00:04:57,725
You need some help
getting him to your car?
98
00:04:57,727 --> 00:04:59,990
Yeah, Sheila's
gonna be pissed.
99
00:05:03,472 --> 00:05:05,692
[snoring]
100
00:05:08,303 --> 00:05:11,434
At least he made it
home and onto the couch.
101
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,262
Jack?
102
00:05:13,264 --> 00:05:15,527
[snoring]
103
00:05:17,268 --> 00:05:19,791
Jack?
104
00:05:19,793 --> 00:05:20,618
Jack?!
105
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:21,662
Oh, what?
106
00:05:21,664 --> 00:05:22,663
What, what?
107
00:05:22,665 --> 00:05:24,404
Shouldn't you be at work?
108
00:05:24,406 --> 00:05:25,187
What time is it?
109
00:05:25,189 --> 00:05:26,016
[Sheila] 8 a.m.
110
00:05:27,148 --> 00:05:28,713
Shit, shit!
111
00:05:28,715 --> 00:05:29,888
I gotta open today.
112
00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:31,106
What time are you
supposed to be there?
113
00:05:31,108 --> 00:05:32,630
Now.
114
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:34,066
Give, where are my
clothes, where's my shirt?
115
00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:35,633
I don't know.
116
00:05:35,635 --> 00:05:37,678
I got dressed without any help.
117
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,811
Does little Jackie need
some help getting dressed?
118
00:05:39,813 --> 00:05:41,508
[Jack] Come on,
stop doing that!
119
00:05:41,510 --> 00:05:42,378
Help me!
120
00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:43,815
Sorry, Jack.
121
00:05:43,817 --> 00:05:45,643
I have a meeting with my
director, I can't be late.
122
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:46,994
Have a good day, sweetie.
123
00:05:49,561 --> 00:05:52,475
You bitch.
124
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:53,740
You fucking bitch!
125
00:05:56,830 --> 00:05:57,657
Jesus.
126
00:06:14,412 --> 00:06:16,586
- Come on in, welcome.
- Thank you.
127
00:06:16,588 --> 00:06:17,805
- Hey, grab yourself a seat.
- So hungry.
128
00:06:17,807 --> 00:06:19,502
Sorry about the wait.
129
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,721
- Hey.
- About time.
130
00:06:20,723 --> 00:06:22,114
I remember you.
131
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:23,681
Hey there, hey.
132
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:25,685
Welcome, good morning.
133
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:32,124
Hello and welcome to
Caribbean Sweetness.
134
00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:33,734
What can I get for
you guys today?
135
00:06:33,736 --> 00:06:34,911
Vodka soda, please.
136
00:06:35,782 --> 00:06:37,259
[Jack] Vodka soda
and you, ma'am?
137
00:06:37,261 --> 00:06:39,002
The same, but no soda.
138
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,611
Great, all right.
139
00:06:41,613 --> 00:06:44,049
I'll go get your drinks while
you take a look at the menu.
140
00:06:44,051 --> 00:06:48,662
Holy shit, you're Jack
from Rat Poison, aren't you?
141
00:06:48,664 --> 00:06:50,751
Yes, I am, how
did you know that?
142
00:06:50,753 --> 00:06:52,884
We were at your
concert last night.
143
00:06:52,886 --> 00:06:54,668
You guys rock.
144
00:06:54,670 --> 00:06:55,627
Thank you!
145
00:06:56,803 --> 00:06:58,587
I'll be right back
with your drinks.
146
00:07:00,023 --> 00:07:01,327
Jack.
147
00:07:01,329 --> 00:07:02,458
We need to talk.
148
00:07:02,460 --> 00:07:03,808
You were late again today.
149
00:07:03,810 --> 00:07:05,418
[Jack] Yes, I know,
but I got the doors open
150
00:07:05,420 --> 00:07:07,899
in time for the
customers to come in.
151
00:07:07,901 --> 00:07:09,465
Let's step outside, okay?
152
00:07:09,467 --> 00:07:10,858
I have some
customers right now,
153
00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:13,469
but let me get their drinks
and their order first.
154
00:07:13,471 --> 00:07:16,170
All right, but then
we need to step outside.
155
00:07:19,521 --> 00:07:21,566
[sighs]
156
00:07:25,788 --> 00:07:27,048
Here you go.
157
00:07:27,050 --> 00:07:28,354
[Man] Thank you.
158
00:07:28,356 --> 00:07:29,964
Now what can I get for
you guys to eat today?
159
00:07:29,966 --> 00:07:33,011
I'll have the Cuban
and black beans, please.
160
00:07:33,013 --> 00:07:34,969
The same, but no black beans.
161
00:07:34,971 --> 00:07:35,796
Very good.
162
00:07:35,798 --> 00:07:37,450
Anything else?
163
00:07:37,452 --> 00:07:39,365
Uh, might as well set us a
couple more rounds, please.
164
00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:41,715
- Will do.
- Uh, one more thing.
165
00:07:41,717 --> 00:07:43,282
Who's playing this music?
166
00:07:43,284 --> 00:07:45,806
I've been listening to it but
I can't quite place the band.
167
00:07:45,808 --> 00:07:46,894
You like it?
168
00:07:46,896 --> 00:07:49,810
Yeah, it's a
different kind of sound.
169
00:07:49,812 --> 00:07:50,724
It's me.
170
00:07:50,726 --> 00:07:52,204
Rat Poison?
171
00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:54,815
No, just a song I wrote
and recorded in my basement.
172
00:07:54,817 --> 00:07:55,729
I'm digging it!
173
00:07:55,731 --> 00:07:57,296
Man, you are a talented dude.
174
00:07:57,298 --> 00:07:59,472
Can't wait to see
you at your next gig.
175
00:07:59,474 --> 00:08:01,779
Yeah, well, that's
another story.
176
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:03,128
Excuse us, folks.
177
00:08:03,130 --> 00:08:05,957
Can I borrow your waiter
for just a minute?
178
00:08:05,959 --> 00:08:08,742
I'll make sure your orders
and drinks get out okay.
179
00:08:08,744 --> 00:08:10,918
In fact, I'ma let Gaston
take over for Jack,
180
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,485
if that's all right with y'all.
181
00:08:12,487 --> 00:08:14,356
Is that okay?
182
00:08:14,358 --> 00:08:15,618
Gaston!
183
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:16,881
[Gaston] Sir?
184
00:08:16,883 --> 00:08:17,838
Could you step
out here, please?
185
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:19,492
Yes, sir.
186
00:08:19,494 --> 00:08:20,841
Gaston, could you take
care of these nice people
187
00:08:20,843 --> 00:08:22,277
- while I speak to Jack outside?
- Absolutely.
188
00:08:22,279 --> 00:08:23,106
Jack.
189
00:08:25,413 --> 00:08:26,673
Hello, guys.
190
00:08:26,675 --> 00:08:27,456
Dick!
191
00:08:27,458 --> 00:08:28,851
Get your dick out here.
192
00:08:29,983 --> 00:08:31,809
Why do we have
to do this here?
193
00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:34,028
I like our usual spot
at the Courtyard.
194
00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:35,856
Because Nancy works there.
195
00:08:35,858 --> 00:08:38,250
I can't have my friends
seeing us there.
196
00:08:38,252 --> 00:08:40,992
How would I explain
being there with my boss?
197
00:08:40,994 --> 00:08:42,907
What about Motel 6?
198
00:08:42,909 --> 00:08:44,256
Motel 6?
199
00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:45,910
You are the big
spender, aren't you?
200
00:08:45,912 --> 00:08:49,348
Well, I was getting our company
discount at the Courtyard.
201
00:08:49,350 --> 00:08:50,958
Hm.
202
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,395
Maybe I should give you the
Motel 6 version in bed, then?
203
00:08:53,397 --> 00:08:55,267
Sheila, baby.
204
00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:57,356
Come on, what if
Jack comes home?
205
00:08:57,358 --> 00:08:59,793
If there's one thing
Jack is, it's predictable.
206
00:08:59,795 --> 00:09:01,490
He's at the restaurant.
207
00:09:01,492 --> 00:09:03,710
He can't leave 'til the
morning rush is over.
208
00:09:03,712 --> 00:09:04,972
We've got a couple hours of fun.
209
00:09:04,974 --> 00:09:06,756
Come here, tiger.
210
00:09:06,758 --> 00:09:08,889
I can't believe
you're firing me.
211
00:09:08,891 --> 00:09:10,673
I'm sorry, Jack.
212
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,024
The doors were open on time!
213
00:09:13,026 --> 00:09:14,460
Almost.
214
00:09:14,462 --> 00:09:16,986
I need someone that I
can depend on to open up.
215
00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:20,901
The customers always complain
when you open the restaurant.
216
00:09:20,903 --> 00:09:22,598
They need to get a life.
217
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:23,817
Five minutes, I've never been
218
00:09:23,819 --> 00:09:26,385
more than five
minutes late any time.
219
00:09:26,387 --> 00:09:29,910
Jack, this is their life.
220
00:09:29,912 --> 00:09:32,695
This is a part of
their daily routine.
221
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:35,089
This is somewhere
they like to go.
222
00:09:35,091 --> 00:09:37,137
Why would you fault
them for that?
223
00:09:38,616 --> 00:09:39,877
I know, I know.
224
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:42,009
All right, but I won't
be late next time.
225
00:09:42,011 --> 00:09:44,361
This is next time.
226
00:09:45,841 --> 00:09:48,015
Pick up your check at the end
of the week and good luck.
227
00:09:48,017 --> 00:09:49,277
Come on.
228
00:09:49,279 --> 00:09:51,714
I can't lose this
job, I need the money.
229
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,936
And I can't afford
to lose customers.
230
00:09:55,068 --> 00:09:58,025
Sheila has a great
job, you won't starve.
231
00:09:58,027 --> 00:09:59,940
Yeah, right.
232
00:09:59,942 --> 00:10:01,333
Jack.
233
00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:04,860
Go do something
that you care about.
234
00:10:05,992 --> 00:10:08,777
Something that
gives you a reason
235
00:10:09,952 --> 00:10:14,914
to be somewhere and not just
a place to be opened up.
236
00:10:18,961 --> 00:10:21,919
Man, Sheila,
you are a tigress.
237
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,877
Yeah, I know.
238
00:10:23,879 --> 00:10:24,706
How's your back?
239
00:10:26,316 --> 00:10:28,012
Love scars.
240
00:10:28,014 --> 00:10:29,361
Well worth it.
241
00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,015
I'm ready for another tear.
242
00:10:31,017 --> 00:10:32,277
Well, come here, Dicky.
243
00:10:32,279 --> 00:10:33,889
Let me leave my
mark on you [purrs].
244
00:10:35,978 --> 00:10:36,805
Shit!
245
00:10:40,678 --> 00:10:42,765
[comical music]
246
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:47,772
What the hell?
247
00:11:08,010 --> 00:11:10,882
- Shit, shit, shit!
- Socks, socks!
248
00:11:13,015 --> 00:11:14,582
Here, here, here!
249
00:11:16,497 --> 00:11:17,324
Head.
250
00:11:24,331 --> 00:11:26,244
[yelling]
251
00:11:26,246 --> 00:11:28,028
Jack, what are you doing?
252
00:11:28,030 --> 00:11:30,117
Sheila, what are
you doing home?
253
00:11:30,119 --> 00:11:31,858
Why are you in bed?
254
00:11:31,860 --> 00:11:33,338
I had one of my headaches.
255
00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:35,035
What are you doing here?
256
00:11:35,037 --> 00:11:37,168
Must have been a
pretty bad migraine.
257
00:11:37,170 --> 00:11:39,735
It looks like it was
worse than the last one.
258
00:11:39,737 --> 00:11:41,824
Why are you at home?
259
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,652
I got fired.
260
00:11:43,654 --> 00:11:46,438
Fired, Jack, how could you?
261
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,483
Why do you always
assume it was my fault?
262
00:11:48,485 --> 00:11:51,051
What happened to
standing by your husband?
263
00:11:51,053 --> 00:11:52,748
It's always your fault.
264
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:54,622
That's not true.
265
00:11:56,363 --> 00:11:58,145
[Sheila] Why
did you get fired?
266
00:11:58,147 --> 00:12:01,714
Because I was late
opening up the restaurant.
267
00:12:01,716 --> 00:12:03,455
It's because of that band.
268
00:12:03,457 --> 00:12:06,197
Jack, grow up and
quit the stupid band!
269
00:12:06,199 --> 00:12:08,068
But it's my life!
270
00:12:08,070 --> 00:12:10,070
It's all I ever wanted.
271
00:12:10,072 --> 00:12:13,421
What happened to you,
Sheila, you know that.
272
00:12:13,423 --> 00:12:15,423
You're not in
high school anymore.
273
00:12:15,425 --> 00:12:17,512
And dreams don't come true.
274
00:12:17,514 --> 00:12:18,646
At least not for you.
275
00:12:19,473 --> 00:12:20,907
Or us.
276
00:12:20,909 --> 00:12:22,082
Shut the door on your way out.
277
00:12:22,084 --> 00:12:23,694
My headache's come back.
278
00:12:29,178 --> 00:12:31,526
[Dick] Do you think
I should leave now?
279
00:12:31,528 --> 00:12:33,311
I'm gonna need to
charge your rent tonight.
280
00:12:33,313 --> 00:12:35,141
Half a beer's not
gonna pay my bills.
281
00:12:38,144 --> 00:12:39,752
What?
282
00:12:39,754 --> 00:12:40,535
You okay?
283
00:12:40,537 --> 00:12:41,625
This is shit.
284
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,191
It's just shit.
285
00:12:44,193 --> 00:12:45,105
[Dillon] Hey, I can get you
286
00:12:45,107 --> 00:12:47,020
another beer if that one's bad.
287
00:12:47,022 --> 00:12:48,630
What, no, not the beer.
288
00:12:48,632 --> 00:12:50,112
Good, you had me worried.
289
00:12:51,113 --> 00:12:52,201
What then?
290
00:12:54,116 --> 00:12:55,161
Nothing.
291
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:57,639
Come on, Jack, you've
been sitting here for hours
292
00:12:57,641 --> 00:12:58,990
just staring at that beer.
293
00:13:01,123 --> 00:13:03,341
I don't know
what I want to do.
294
00:13:03,343 --> 00:13:05,212
I, I lost my job.
295
00:13:05,214 --> 00:13:06,433
The band's gone.
296
00:13:08,217 --> 00:13:09,651
Sheila's pissed.
297
00:13:09,653 --> 00:13:11,044
And?
298
00:13:11,046 --> 00:13:13,220
And nothing, that's just it.
299
00:13:13,222 --> 00:13:14,439
I've got nothing.
300
00:13:14,441 --> 00:13:17,485
All I've ever wanted
or cared about is gone.
301
00:13:17,487 --> 00:13:18,619
I've got nothing.
302
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:22,708
Come on, Jack, there must
be something you can do.
303
00:13:22,710 --> 00:13:23,970
What?
304
00:13:23,972 --> 00:13:26,799
I mean, it's just
been me with the band.
305
00:13:26,801 --> 00:13:29,106
Music is all I have.
306
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:30,890
Well, you could get
another restaurant job.
307
00:13:30,892 --> 00:13:33,155
You've got years of
experience doing that.
308
00:13:34,330 --> 00:13:35,547
Thanks.
309
00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:37,201
That makes me feel better.
310
00:13:37,203 --> 00:13:38,767
Really?
311
00:13:38,769 --> 00:13:39,812
With all of your experience,
you could get a job tomorrow,
312
00:13:39,814 --> 00:13:41,248
probably as a manager.
313
00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:43,120
Hours suck but it's good money.
314
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:45,689
No, I hate the restaurants.
315
00:13:47,169 --> 00:13:50,518
Was a short term thing
that turned into 10 years.
316
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,607
I just, I can't do it anymore.
317
00:13:52,609 --> 00:13:53,393
What then?
318
00:13:54,524 --> 00:13:56,263
I don't know.
319
00:13:56,265 --> 00:13:57,699
You could go back to school.
320
00:13:57,701 --> 00:13:58,572
College, maybe?
321
00:14:00,443 --> 00:14:02,356
I barely got out
of high school.
322
00:14:02,358 --> 00:14:04,053
I just wanted to get out.
323
00:14:04,055 --> 00:14:06,099
My grades sucked.
324
00:14:06,101 --> 00:14:07,318
You were a kid then.
325
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:08,884
Now would be different.
326
00:14:08,886 --> 00:14:11,322
Might be something that grabs
your attention and interest.
327
00:14:11,324 --> 00:14:12,758
There's nothing
college can offer me
328
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,021
that I would want to do.
329
00:14:15,023 --> 00:14:16,155
Where are you going?
330
00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:18,285
I know it's only half a beer
331
00:14:18,287 --> 00:14:20,246
but that half needs to come out.
332
00:14:27,078 --> 00:14:27,905
Oh, damn.
333
00:14:29,559 --> 00:14:30,995
An elephant shit.
334
00:14:32,432 --> 00:14:33,911
Does anybody flush anymore?
335
00:14:37,437 --> 00:14:38,960
Come on, little buddy.
336
00:14:48,752 --> 00:14:53,190
[urine trinkling]
[sighing]
337
00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:55,627
Rock-Enroll now.
338
00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:58,717
[Woman] Are you a musician
looking for a new start?
339
00:14:58,719 --> 00:15:01,241
- Uh-huh.
- Is the band thing
340
00:15:01,243 --> 00:15:03,287
just not working anymore?
341
00:15:03,289 --> 00:15:06,290
- Yeah.
- Tired of the road trips
342
00:15:06,292 --> 00:15:08,117
- and low pay?
- Yes.
343
00:15:08,119 --> 00:15:11,512
[Woman] Is your spouse
telling you to get a real job?
344
00:15:11,514 --> 00:15:13,645
- Yes.
- County Community College
345
00:15:13,647 --> 00:15:15,864
has your new career.
346
00:15:15,866 --> 00:15:18,391
[upbeat music]
347
00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:27,267
That sounds great, Jude.
348
00:15:27,269 --> 00:15:31,315
I can go to school at night
and still work during the day.
349
00:15:31,317 --> 00:15:35,188
But my grades weren't that
great, so, I don't know.
350
00:15:35,190 --> 00:15:36,668
Do you think I can still get in?
351
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:38,409
Jack, don't worry about it.
352
00:15:38,411 --> 00:15:41,107
I've worked with guys who barely
made it out of high school.
353
00:15:41,109 --> 00:15:42,413
I'll make sure you're approved.
354
00:15:42,415 --> 00:15:43,718
What about tuition?
355
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,199
I don't think I could
swing that, I mean,
356
00:15:46,201 --> 00:15:48,288
I'd have to get a job,
save up some money.
357
00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:50,464
There's grants,
from the government.
358
00:15:50,466 --> 00:15:53,337
And I think from what you've
told me, you'll qualify.
359
00:15:53,339 --> 00:15:54,729
That would be awesome.
360
00:15:54,731 --> 00:15:57,428
I mean, it'd be a miracle
if it all worked out.
361
00:15:57,430 --> 00:15:59,081
Well, look, let me work on it
362
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,431
and I'll get back
to you tonight.
363
00:16:00,433 --> 00:16:03,303
Aw, thanks, Jude, I
really appreciate it.
364
00:16:03,305 --> 00:16:05,087
Now I gotta go find a job.
365
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,178
Let me know as soon
as you hear something.
366
00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:10,397
I don't know if you have the
367
00:16:10,399 --> 00:16:12,007
right qualifications
for the job.
368
00:16:12,009 --> 00:16:14,271
I can do it, just
give me a chance.
369
00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:15,924
Let me dip that
cage in that fryer.
370
00:16:15,926 --> 00:16:18,581
They will come out
crispy and not soggy.
371
00:16:21,149 --> 00:16:22,150
I don't know.
372
00:16:25,022 --> 00:16:26,326
Jake?
373
00:16:26,328 --> 00:16:28,285
Someone thew up in the
men's urinal again.
374
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:30,985
Can you please go clean
it up for me, please?
375
00:16:32,203 --> 00:16:32,985
Sure.
376
00:16:32,987 --> 00:16:33,899
I'd love to.
377
00:16:33,901 --> 00:16:35,248
I'll be right on it.
378
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:37,513
Aw, you're so
sweet, thank you.
379
00:16:39,994 --> 00:16:42,997
You know, chicks dig a
guy who play the guitar.
380
00:16:43,998 --> 00:16:45,391
I don't play the guitar.
381
00:16:46,392 --> 00:16:47,347
I do.
382
00:16:47,349 --> 00:16:48,914
I was in a band for many years.
383
00:16:48,916 --> 00:16:51,656
I have a collection of bras
and panties to prove it.
384
00:16:51,658 --> 00:16:53,310
So?
385
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:54,528
What's her name?
386
00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:55,660
Patience.
387
00:16:55,662 --> 00:16:57,316
I can teach you how to play.
388
00:16:58,578 --> 00:16:59,490
Really?
389
00:16:59,492 --> 00:17:00,752
When I get done with you,
390
00:17:00,754 --> 00:17:03,102
she won't have
any patience left.
391
00:17:03,104 --> 00:17:05,411
She will be all about her Jake.
392
00:17:07,369 --> 00:17:08,283
You're hired.
393
00:17:10,372 --> 00:17:11,242
Hello?
394
00:17:12,113 --> 00:17:14,069
Hey, Jude.
395
00:17:14,071 --> 00:17:16,202
[laughs]
396
00:17:16,204 --> 00:17:17,336
I'm just kidding, man.
397
00:17:18,598 --> 00:17:19,512
You're kidding me.
398
00:17:20,861 --> 00:17:22,121
You're shitting me!
399
00:17:22,123 --> 00:17:23,470
Oh, sorry.
400
00:17:23,472 --> 00:17:24,863
Awesome.
401
00:17:24,865 --> 00:17:26,257
Dude, this is great.
402
00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:28,301
Tomorrow?
403
00:17:28,303 --> 00:17:29,478
Yeah, I'll stop by.
404
00:17:31,437 --> 00:17:34,091
You're gonna help me pick
out my classes, too, right?
405
00:17:34,918 --> 00:17:35,919
Excellent.
406
00:17:37,486 --> 00:17:40,748
All right, well I'll
see you tomorrow, bye.
407
00:17:40,750 --> 00:17:42,402
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
408
00:17:42,404 --> 00:17:43,884
I got a job today.
409
00:17:45,233 --> 00:17:48,408
Yeah, I know, it's a great day.
410
00:17:48,410 --> 00:17:50,369
All right, see you
tomorrow, later.
411
00:17:56,853 --> 00:17:59,856
Chrissy, baby,
how's it going, man?
412
00:18:01,031 --> 00:18:03,164
Oh, gosh, I'm great, just great.
413
00:18:04,644 --> 00:18:07,732
Well, that's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
414
00:18:07,734 --> 00:18:09,211
Well, that's why I called you.
415
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,475
We need to celebrate!
416
00:18:11,477 --> 00:18:12,606
[laughs]
417
00:18:12,608 --> 00:18:14,436
Well, I'll tell you
when you get there.
418
00:18:15,829 --> 00:18:18,875
Oh, uh, how about
Dillon's at seven o'clock?
419
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:21,615
Great.
420
00:18:21,617 --> 00:18:23,400
All right, I'll see
you when you get there.
421
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:24,446
Bye.
422
00:18:27,884 --> 00:18:30,800
[mimicking guitar]
423
00:18:33,150 --> 00:18:34,325
I'll have another one.
424
00:18:35,718 --> 00:18:37,370
[Dillon] Last one, Jack,
then I have to close up.
425
00:18:37,372 --> 00:18:39,546
Closing up, come
on, it's early.
426
00:18:39,548 --> 00:18:41,245
I should have closed by now.
427
00:18:44,074 --> 00:18:45,424
Are you sure Chris is coming?
428
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,468
Yeah, where is Chrissy?
429
00:18:48,470 --> 00:18:51,253
Where is my bestest homo buddy?
430
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,431
I need to buy him a drink.
431
00:18:55,477 --> 00:18:57,477
Chrissy!
432
00:18:57,479 --> 00:18:59,218
You're my best homo buddy.
433
00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:01,568
Cut the shit, Jack,
I'm not in the mood.
434
00:19:01,570 --> 00:19:03,831
And what's your problem
with gay men anyway?
435
00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:06,617
Whoa, what's your problem?
436
00:19:06,619 --> 00:19:08,270
I invite you to celebrate
437
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:12,536
and you're hours late
and then you piss me off?
438
00:19:12,538 --> 00:19:15,452
You're right, it's
all about you, always.
439
00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:16,670
Chrissy, can I have a ride?
440
00:19:16,672 --> 00:19:18,846
Chrissy, can you
lend me some money?
441
00:19:18,848 --> 00:19:21,414
I'm tired of your shit, man.
442
00:19:21,416 --> 00:19:22,548
Whoa, whoa.
443
00:19:23,723 --> 00:19:26,682
Chill out, man, you
know I love you.
444
00:19:27,553 --> 00:19:29,553
Hey, get Chrissy a drink.
445
00:19:29,555 --> 00:19:30,858
I told you, I'm closing up.
446
00:19:30,860 --> 00:19:33,557
Can't you see he
needs some comfort.
447
00:19:33,559 --> 00:19:35,561
Just one, then I
need to close up.
448
00:19:37,476 --> 00:19:39,171
Yes.
449
00:19:39,173 --> 00:19:40,520
Okay.
450
00:19:40,522 --> 00:19:43,480
Now tell Doctor
Jackie what's wrong.
451
00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:44,959
I don't want to talk about it.
452
00:19:44,961 --> 00:19:47,745
Come on, you're
always there for me.
453
00:19:47,747 --> 00:19:49,400
Now let me be there for you.
454
00:19:51,707 --> 00:19:52,491
Well,
455
00:19:53,883 --> 00:19:55,666
Daniel left me.
456
00:19:55,668 --> 00:19:56,495
What?
457
00:19:57,887 --> 00:20:00,801
What a fucking bastard!
458
00:20:00,803 --> 00:20:03,545
Oh, what is his problem?
459
00:20:05,373 --> 00:20:06,243
He left you,
460
00:20:07,593 --> 00:20:09,638
he left you for somebody
else, I'm assuming?
461
00:20:10,987 --> 00:20:13,074
Yes, it was a man.
462
00:20:13,076 --> 00:20:14,034
His boss.
463
00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:18,079
Oh, wow, what a bastard.
464
00:20:18,081 --> 00:20:19,518
What a fucking bastard.
465
00:20:20,736 --> 00:20:22,042
Are you doing all right?
466
00:20:23,565 --> 00:20:25,609
Yeah, I'm all right, man, I
just, I didn't see it coming.
467
00:20:25,611 --> 00:20:26,958
I mean, I thought we were okay
468
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,089
and then the next thing I know,
469
00:20:28,091 --> 00:20:30,527
my nuts get kicked in my mouth.
470
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:35,534
Wow, wow, that really,
really, really, really sucks.
471
00:20:36,752 --> 00:20:38,317
It would kill me if
Sheila ever left me.
472
00:20:38,319 --> 00:20:39,623
I love her so much.
473
00:20:39,625 --> 00:20:41,278
She's such a good woman.
474
00:20:42,932 --> 00:20:44,151
You know what, Chrissy?
475
00:20:45,587 --> 00:20:47,197
Let Jackie give you a hug.
476
00:20:51,158 --> 00:20:53,462
Well, I guess it's
the thought that counts.
477
00:20:53,464 --> 00:20:54,725
You taking him home?
478
00:20:54,727 --> 00:20:56,291
Yeah, he better
have some great news.
479
00:20:56,293 --> 00:20:57,771
If he doesn't, Sheila's
gonna be pissed.
480
00:20:57,773 --> 00:21:00,469
[Dillon] She's gonna
be pissed either way.
481
00:21:00,471 --> 00:21:01,211
That's true.
482
00:21:02,604 --> 00:21:05,651
[gentle piano music]
483
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,660
[snoring]
484
00:21:26,846 --> 00:21:29,239
[grunting]
485
00:21:50,609 --> 00:21:52,654
[grunting]
486
00:21:56,919 --> 00:21:58,266
[yelling]
487
00:21:58,268 --> 00:21:59,659
Abandon ship!
488
00:21:59,661 --> 00:22:00,793
Abandon ship!
489
00:22:03,317 --> 00:22:04,664
What the hell, Sheila?
490
00:22:04,666 --> 00:22:06,666
Are you trying to kill me?
491
00:22:06,668 --> 00:22:07,711
That's it.
492
00:22:07,713 --> 00:22:08,755
No more.
493
00:22:08,757 --> 00:22:10,148
I'm done.
494
00:22:10,150 --> 00:22:11,453
What are you talking about?
495
00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:12,631
What's wrong with you?
496
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,676
What's wrong?
497
00:22:16,678 --> 00:22:17,505
What's wrong?
498
00:22:18,375 --> 00:22:19,984
Look at you.
499
00:22:19,986 --> 00:22:22,769
Passed out on the couch from
being out getting drunk again.
500
00:22:22,771 --> 00:22:24,771
Poor Chris had to
bring you home again.
501
00:22:24,773 --> 00:22:27,644
[Jack] Man, Chris, I
forgot to tell him the news.
502
00:22:27,646 --> 00:22:29,950
You've got no job and
you're just out getting drunk
503
00:22:29,952 --> 00:22:32,083
and spending money
you don't have.
504
00:22:32,085 --> 00:22:35,086
Just chill for
a minute, Sheila.
505
00:22:35,088 --> 00:22:39,658
I was out celebrating my
new job and my new career.
506
00:22:40,833 --> 00:22:43,703
New job and a new
career, all in one day?
507
00:22:43,705 --> 00:22:44,878
How?
508
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,184
What is it?
509
00:22:46,186 --> 00:22:48,447
Well, I'm going back to school
510
00:22:48,449 --> 00:22:51,800
and I'm the new fryer
guy at Carolina Drive-In.
511
00:22:53,454 --> 00:22:55,280
You will never grow up.
512
00:22:55,282 --> 00:22:57,456
School and making fries.
513
00:22:57,458 --> 00:22:58,459
That's your plan?
514
00:23:00,896 --> 00:23:01,854
I'm late for work.
515
00:23:05,466 --> 00:23:07,555
I want you out of my
house when I get home.
516
00:23:08,774 --> 00:23:10,861
Why would I do that?
517
00:23:10,863 --> 00:23:12,081
You don't listen, do you?
518
00:23:12,952 --> 00:23:14,562
You live in this dream world.
519
00:23:15,432 --> 00:23:17,606
I want a divorce
and I don't want
520
00:23:17,608 --> 00:23:19,696
to see your face
when I get home.
521
00:23:19,698 --> 00:23:22,439
[dramatic music]
522
00:23:29,838 --> 00:23:33,622
Do you know a
good, cheap lawyer?
523
00:23:33,624 --> 00:23:35,712
Oh, shit.
524
00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:38,194
Please stand for the
Honorable Frank O'Brien.
525
00:23:39,935 --> 00:23:41,456
Good to see you, judge.
526
00:23:41,458 --> 00:23:42,459
You, too, Audrey.
527
00:23:45,811 --> 00:23:47,941
Next time, I'm buying.
528
00:23:47,943 --> 00:23:49,162
You got it, judge.
529
00:23:50,946 --> 00:23:52,339
Y'all be seated now.
530
00:23:54,384 --> 00:23:56,822
Jack, you need to grow
up and get a real job.
531
00:23:57,779 --> 00:23:58,867
Divorce granted.
532
00:24:01,870 --> 00:24:03,002
All rise.
533
00:24:05,918 --> 00:24:07,787
So that's it?
534
00:24:07,789 --> 00:24:09,310
Yep.
535
00:24:09,312 --> 00:24:10,790
That sucks.
536
00:24:10,792 --> 00:24:12,661
Well, hey, at least you
don't have to pay alimony.
537
00:24:12,663 --> 00:24:14,925
Pay, she should be paying me.
538
00:24:14,927 --> 00:24:16,753
She makes a ton of money.
539
00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:18,406
You suck as a lawyer.
540
00:24:18,408 --> 00:24:20,234
Well, I'm not a lawyer.
541
00:24:20,236 --> 00:24:22,889
You're supposed
to be trying to be.
542
00:24:22,891 --> 00:24:24,978
[Sheila] No hard
feelings, Jack.
543
00:24:24,980 --> 00:24:28,373
Hard feelings are
more than you ever had.
544
00:24:28,375 --> 00:24:31,289
Well, hard wasn't ever
really your forte either.
545
00:24:31,291 --> 00:24:33,726
You are such a bitch!
546
00:24:33,728 --> 00:24:36,078
And I see your
vocabulary hasn't changed.
547
00:24:37,558 --> 00:24:41,603
Well, she has a kick-ass ass.
548
00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:43,910
Yeah, thanks for reminding me.
549
00:24:43,912 --> 00:24:45,782
So now what the
hell am I gonna do?
550
00:24:45,784 --> 00:24:47,348
Well, you're gonna
find a new girl.
551
00:24:47,350 --> 00:24:49,176
I don't want another girl.
552
00:24:49,178 --> 00:24:51,570
Come on, Jack, she's
the high school sweetheart
553
00:24:51,572 --> 00:24:52,789
that just got away.
554
00:24:52,791 --> 00:24:54,442
How am I gonna get her back?
555
00:24:54,444 --> 00:24:55,792
Well, that's the
least of your worries.
556
00:24:55,794 --> 00:24:58,055
I mean, you can't stay
on my couch forever.
557
00:24:58,057 --> 00:24:59,708
Seriously?
558
00:24:59,710 --> 00:25:01,928
I need a better paying job.
559
00:25:01,930 --> 00:25:03,887
I can help you, Jack.
560
00:25:03,889 --> 00:25:05,192
My name is Bruno.
561
00:25:05,194 --> 00:25:06,282
Bruno Sorentino.
562
00:25:07,370 --> 00:25:08,935
M.A.?
563
00:25:08,937 --> 00:25:11,024
Mister Academy, I'm
the head recruiter there.
564
00:25:11,026 --> 00:25:13,940
We can help you
get your wife back.
565
00:25:13,942 --> 00:25:18,118
Mister Academy, what is that,
some kind of butler school?
566
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:19,946
How is that gonna help
me get my wife back?
567
00:25:19,948 --> 00:25:21,382
Look.
568
00:25:21,384 --> 00:25:22,906
Most marriages fail
because men don't know
569
00:25:22,908 --> 00:25:24,995
what women really want.
570
00:25:24,997 --> 00:25:28,215
Our academy can teach you
how to treat a woman right.
571
00:25:28,217 --> 00:25:30,914
Give her all the things
that she really wants.
572
00:25:30,916 --> 00:25:32,741
Yeah, right.
573
00:25:32,743 --> 00:25:35,048
I don't have the time
or money for school.
574
00:25:35,050 --> 00:25:36,441
Come on, Chris.
575
00:25:36,443 --> 00:25:39,270
We do have a
work-study program.
576
00:25:39,272 --> 00:25:41,489
Maybe you can qualify.
577
00:25:41,491 --> 00:25:43,143
Our finance department
can probably
578
00:25:43,145 --> 00:25:44,753
find you some money, too.
579
00:25:44,755 --> 00:25:46,886
What about on-campus housing?
580
00:25:46,888 --> 00:25:48,192
Chris.
581
00:25:48,194 --> 00:25:50,542
Your options are
limited, buddy.
582
00:25:50,544 --> 00:25:53,414
We can also help you
583
00:25:53,416 --> 00:25:56,591
find the man of your dreams.
584
00:25:56,593 --> 00:25:57,420
Really?
585
00:25:58,987 --> 00:26:00,900
Why don't both of you
stop by in the morning
586
00:26:00,902 --> 00:26:03,296
and we can discuss the details.
587
00:26:04,688 --> 00:26:06,514
- I don't know.
- We'll be there.
588
00:26:06,516 --> 00:26:07,256
Good.
589
00:26:08,867 --> 00:26:10,869
I'll see you guys
in the morning.
590
00:26:15,961 --> 00:26:17,134
Are you nuts?
591
00:26:17,136 --> 00:26:19,179
Calm down, Jack, I
mean, it won't hurt
592
00:26:19,181 --> 00:26:20,920
to hear what the
guy has to offer.
593
00:26:20,922 --> 00:26:23,357
I don't want to go
to some man school.
594
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:24,663
Well, we're going
unless you want
595
00:26:24,665 --> 00:26:26,970
to find another
couch to sleep on.
596
00:26:26,972 --> 00:26:27,884
Seriously?
597
00:26:27,886 --> 00:26:28,843
Seriously.
598
00:26:30,714 --> 00:26:31,844
Jesus.
599
00:26:31,846 --> 00:26:33,239
I'm gonna regret this.
600
00:26:37,591 --> 00:26:40,374
Sign right here and
you'll be all set.
601
00:26:40,376 --> 00:26:42,724
A new semester starts Monday.
602
00:26:42,726 --> 00:26:45,684
Well, what kind of
guarantees do you offer?
603
00:26:45,686 --> 00:26:46,946
What if this doesn't work?
604
00:26:46,948 --> 00:26:48,252
Kid.
605
00:26:48,254 --> 00:26:51,037
There are no real
guarantees in life.
606
00:26:51,039 --> 00:26:52,212
I knew it.
607
00:26:52,214 --> 00:26:54,171
That being said,
I can guarantee that
608
00:26:54,173 --> 00:26:57,217
if you do everything
we say, study hard,
609
00:26:57,219 --> 00:26:58,958
well, then you'll
have a better chance
610
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:00,786
than any other guy out there.
611
00:27:00,788 --> 00:27:03,051
It's all about
increasing your odds.
612
00:27:03,965 --> 00:27:06,009
I don't like those odds.
613
00:27:06,011 --> 00:27:09,447
Look, we have a long
list of happy clients.
614
00:27:09,449 --> 00:27:11,362
Let me show you around.
615
00:27:11,364 --> 00:27:14,321
You can see what we have
to offer for yourself.
616
00:27:14,323 --> 00:27:16,369
I'll even give you
a personal tour.
617
00:27:17,457 --> 00:27:18,371
That reminds me.
618
00:27:21,504 --> 00:27:24,986
This is our most
recent graduate.
619
00:27:26,074 --> 00:27:27,769
Dick.
620
00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:28,988
Yeah.
621
00:27:28,990 --> 00:27:29,991
Dick Lungvick.
622
00:27:32,037 --> 00:27:33,166
You know him?
623
00:27:33,168 --> 00:27:35,168
Yeah, I know him.
624
00:27:35,170 --> 00:27:37,390
He was one of our most
625
00:27:39,044 --> 00:27:41,000
gifted students.
626
00:27:41,002 --> 00:27:42,654
I bet.
627
00:27:42,656 --> 00:27:46,310
Only our top students get
our pictures hung out there.
628
00:27:46,312 --> 00:27:47,139
I'm ready.
629
00:27:48,575 --> 00:27:50,009
Ready for?
630
00:27:50,011 --> 00:27:51,358
Sign me up.
631
00:27:51,360 --> 00:27:52,881
[Bruno] But
there's so much more
632
00:27:52,883 --> 00:27:55,145
- I'd like to show you, Jack...
- I've seen enough.
633
00:27:55,147 --> 00:27:58,237
Okay, let's get on
with the paperwork.
634
00:27:59,281 --> 00:28:00,108
Chris.
635
00:28:01,501 --> 00:28:02,891
All right, I'm in.
636
00:28:02,893 --> 00:28:04,634
Somebody's gotta
look after Jackie.
637
00:28:06,245 --> 00:28:07,028
Excellent.
638
00:28:10,031 --> 00:28:12,597
Welcome to Mister Academy.
639
00:28:12,599 --> 00:28:15,469
My name is Bruno Sorentino.
640
00:28:15,471 --> 00:28:19,082
I'm the headmaster of
this great academy.
641
00:28:19,084 --> 00:28:22,476
All of you have enrolled
for your own reasons.
642
00:28:22,478 --> 00:28:25,175
But, ultimately,
for the same goal.
643
00:28:25,177 --> 00:28:30,225
To learn what a woman wants,
how to attract, and keep her.
644
00:28:31,313 --> 00:28:33,444
Jack, I'm not looking
for a good woman.
645
00:28:33,446 --> 00:28:34,749
I thought you said this
was a progressive school.
646
00:28:34,751 --> 00:28:36,447
Shh, I'm trying to listen.
647
00:28:36,449 --> 00:28:38,188
Are you trying to get
us in trouble already?
648
00:28:38,190 --> 00:28:40,103
Excuse me, is
there a question?
649
00:28:40,105 --> 00:28:41,713
Yeah.
650
00:28:41,715 --> 00:28:44,368
I'm not interested in women.
651
00:28:44,370 --> 00:28:47,066
Well, what are
you interested in?
652
00:28:47,068 --> 00:28:47,895
[Chris] Men.
653
00:28:49,288 --> 00:28:51,592
Oh, I see.
654
00:28:51,594 --> 00:28:53,072
Tino.
655
00:28:53,074 --> 00:28:54,771
Can you address his concern?
656
00:28:56,991 --> 00:28:58,556
Christopher.
657
00:28:58,558 --> 00:29:02,257
We cater to all flavors here.
658
00:29:03,215 --> 00:29:05,084
You will find that
our workshops work
659
00:29:05,086 --> 00:29:09,175
for attracting men
as well as women.
660
00:29:09,177 --> 00:29:12,744
But we do take
special consideration
661
00:29:12,746 --> 00:29:15,181
for the needs of
our gay students.
662
00:29:15,183 --> 00:29:18,750
I teach all those
classes myself.
663
00:29:18,752 --> 00:29:19,533
Well, good.
664
00:29:19,535 --> 00:29:20,621
I was just making sure.
665
00:29:20,623 --> 00:29:22,234
It's my pleasure.
666
00:29:23,191 --> 00:29:25,759
I look forward to
helping you meet,
667
00:29:26,673 --> 00:29:30,068
capture the right man.
668
00:29:31,721 --> 00:29:34,157
Yeah, he totally wants me.
669
00:29:34,159 --> 00:29:36,985
- Happens all the time.
- Shut up and pay attention.
670
00:29:36,987 --> 00:29:41,120
We have a very aggressive
four-week program.
671
00:29:41,122 --> 00:29:44,123
It's designed to prepare
you for the field.
672
00:29:44,125 --> 00:29:46,823
This program is not
designed for pansies.
673
00:29:48,086 --> 00:29:52,264
You guys need to work hard,
be tough, and be ruthless.
674
00:29:53,395 --> 00:29:55,569
It ain't easy to get a woman.
675
00:29:55,571 --> 00:29:59,182
They all are calculating
and they have a game plan.
676
00:29:59,184 --> 00:30:02,185
You need your own game plan if
677
00:30:02,187 --> 00:30:04,143
you're going to win them over.
678
00:30:04,145 --> 00:30:08,756
Fortunately, we have a proven
track record of success.
679
00:30:08,758 --> 00:30:11,500
I can guarantee your success if
680
00:30:12,588 --> 00:30:14,112
you follow our process.
681
00:30:15,243 --> 00:30:16,982
Okay, now, I'd like
to introduce you
682
00:30:16,984 --> 00:30:18,853
to one of our other instructors.
683
00:30:18,855 --> 00:30:19,943
Vinny Sorentino.
684
00:30:20,857 --> 00:30:21,684
Vinny.
685
00:30:23,164 --> 00:30:24,513
Thanks, boss.
686
00:30:26,124 --> 00:30:26,994
Gentlemen.
687
00:30:28,126 --> 00:30:30,561
I've only got one rule.
688
00:30:30,563 --> 00:30:32,954
Nobody quits.
689
00:30:32,956 --> 00:30:36,088
If I tell you to do something,
I expect you to do it,
690
00:30:36,090 --> 00:30:39,135
no whining, no crying,
no complaining.
691
00:30:39,137 --> 00:30:40,660
You follow my instructions
692
00:30:42,314 --> 00:30:43,315
you will leave here alive.
693
00:30:45,186 --> 00:30:47,232
I'm just kidding.
694
00:30:48,233 --> 00:30:50,537
You will graduate with honors
695
00:30:50,539 --> 00:30:53,584
and you will have lots
of chicks wanting you.
696
00:30:53,586 --> 00:30:54,369
Fair enough?
697
00:30:55,588 --> 00:30:57,240
Good.
698
00:30:57,242 --> 00:31:01,026
All right, your schedules are
in envelopes in your chair.
699
00:31:01,028 --> 00:31:01,811
Any questions?
700
00:31:03,596 --> 00:31:05,073
Yes, what's your name?
701
00:31:05,075 --> 00:31:05,859
Oscar.
702
00:31:06,816 --> 00:31:08,296
What about a little competition?
703
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:11,210
What do you mean?
704
00:31:11,212 --> 00:31:13,821
I need some extra incentive
705
00:31:13,823 --> 00:31:15,997
to beat out these other guys and
706
00:31:15,999 --> 00:31:17,956
get my picture on that wall.
707
00:31:17,958 --> 00:31:19,523
I see.
708
00:31:19,525 --> 00:31:21,612
Well, boss, should we tell them
709
00:31:21,614 --> 00:31:22,963
about A Lady's Place?
710
00:31:24,094 --> 00:31:25,311
I don't know.
711
00:31:25,313 --> 00:31:26,356
Maybe.
712
00:31:26,358 --> 00:31:27,924
Come on, what's the deal?
713
00:31:29,361 --> 00:31:33,319
Well, we have a little
rivalry with another school.
714
00:31:33,321 --> 00:31:34,451
Who?
715
00:31:34,453 --> 00:31:38,106
They call themselves
A Lady's Place.
716
00:31:38,108 --> 00:31:40,326
But they are just
mistresses in the making.
717
00:31:40,328 --> 00:31:41,199
Sweet.
718
00:31:42,243 --> 00:31:43,547
[laughing]
719
00:31:43,549 --> 00:31:45,594
I can beat some
ladies at anything.
720
00:31:47,509 --> 00:31:48,380
We shall see.
721
00:31:49,903 --> 00:31:52,210
You guys have a lot to
learn to even come close.
722
00:31:53,385 --> 00:31:55,213
The woman that
runs that place is
723
00:31:57,171 --> 00:31:58,216
top notch.
724
00:32:00,609 --> 00:32:01,913
Now we're talking.
725
00:32:01,915 --> 00:32:03,262
Okay.
726
00:32:03,264 --> 00:32:05,264
You'll learn more
about them later.
727
00:32:05,266 --> 00:32:06,657
Vinny.
728
00:32:06,659 --> 00:32:07,442
Wrap this up.
729
00:32:08,922 --> 00:32:10,791
All right, gentlemen,
class starts tomorrow night
730
00:32:10,793 --> 00:32:13,316
and do not be late.
731
00:32:13,318 --> 00:32:16,103
We do not like it
when anyone is late.
732
00:32:17,278 --> 00:32:18,973
And you don't want to
find out what happens
733
00:32:18,975 --> 00:32:20,150
when someone is late.
734
00:32:22,718 --> 00:32:25,286
We'll see you tomorrow,
get the hell out of here.
735
00:32:26,809 --> 00:32:29,159
[coughing]
736
00:32:43,826 --> 00:32:44,871
Here you go, boss.
737
00:32:45,915 --> 00:32:47,306
It's all there.
738
00:32:47,308 --> 00:32:48,483
Counted it myself.
739
00:32:49,615 --> 00:32:51,310
Good.
740
00:32:51,312 --> 00:32:53,575
Make sure this gets added to
the tuition receipts books.
741
00:32:54,750 --> 00:32:56,796
[Vinny] What a
bunch of wussies.
742
00:32:57,579 --> 00:32:59,146
You mean dicks.
743
00:33:00,408 --> 00:33:01,451
Whatever.
744
00:33:01,453 --> 00:33:03,237
The worst bunch of students yet.
745
00:33:04,586 --> 00:33:06,151
Who the hell cares?
746
00:33:06,153 --> 00:33:08,936
We got their money,
that's all that matters.
747
00:33:08,938 --> 00:33:13,595
Now it's up to you guys
to turn 'em into real men.
748
00:33:18,818 --> 00:33:19,817
[knocking]
749
00:33:19,819 --> 00:33:20,733
[Bruno] Come in.
750
00:33:22,430 --> 00:33:24,648
You wanted to see me, sir?
751
00:33:24,650 --> 00:33:25,605
Yes.
752
00:33:25,607 --> 00:33:26,739
Sit down, Jack.
753
00:33:30,003 --> 00:33:31,352
We got a problem, Jack.
754
00:33:32,832 --> 00:33:34,962
Your tuition check bounced.
755
00:33:34,964 --> 00:33:36,224
It did?
756
00:33:36,226 --> 00:33:37,835
Oh, wow, I'm sorry.
757
00:33:37,837 --> 00:33:39,793
Hold on, hold on.
758
00:33:39,795 --> 00:33:41,447
I don't want another bad check.
759
00:33:41,449 --> 00:33:43,667
This one will be
good, I promise.
760
00:33:43,669 --> 00:33:45,756
I just need a day to put
some money into the account.
761
00:33:45,758 --> 00:33:47,714
[Bruno] Do you think
I'm stupid, Jack?
762
00:33:47,716 --> 00:33:49,237
No.
763
00:33:49,239 --> 00:33:50,066
Put that away.
764
00:33:52,242 --> 00:33:53,069
Where you going?
765
00:33:54,288 --> 00:33:55,374
[Jack] I thought that
since I couldn't pay...
766
00:33:55,376 --> 00:33:56,421
Sit down, sit down.
767
00:34:00,512 --> 00:34:01,817
I read your file.
768
00:34:03,471 --> 00:34:05,384
I know what that
bitch did to you.
769
00:34:05,386 --> 00:34:07,212
What bitch?
770
00:34:07,214 --> 00:34:08,387
Your ex-wife.
771
00:34:08,389 --> 00:34:09,693
Sheila?
772
00:34:09,695 --> 00:34:11,912
No, that was my fault.
773
00:34:11,914 --> 00:34:13,568
She is a saint.
774
00:34:15,744 --> 00:34:18,225
You are so
pussy-whipped, aren't you?
775
00:34:20,096 --> 00:34:21,269
Listen.
776
00:34:21,271 --> 00:34:23,010
I think I have a solution.
777
00:34:23,012 --> 00:34:24,318
How about work for me?
778
00:34:25,188 --> 00:34:26,581
I had a recent opening.
779
00:34:27,843 --> 00:34:30,235
But I don't know how to
teach guys about women.
780
00:34:30,237 --> 00:34:31,410
[chuckles]
781
00:34:31,412 --> 00:34:32,890
Yeah.
782
00:34:32,892 --> 00:34:33,893
That's for sure.
783
00:34:35,068 --> 00:34:37,462
But I have another
job in mind for you.
784
00:34:39,072 --> 00:34:41,464
A little side business of mine.
785
00:34:41,466 --> 00:34:42,554
Doing what?
786
00:34:43,598 --> 00:34:44,599
Deliveries.
787
00:34:45,513 --> 00:34:46,425
Of what?
788
00:34:46,427 --> 00:34:47,470
Stuff.
789
00:34:47,472 --> 00:34:49,297
Don't worry about it.
790
00:34:49,299 --> 00:34:51,561
But you do this job
791
00:34:51,563 --> 00:34:54,087
and your tuition
will be paid in full.
792
00:34:55,305 --> 00:34:56,481
Are you kidding me?
793
00:34:57,482 --> 00:34:59,786
So, do you want
the job or what?
794
00:34:59,788 --> 00:35:01,397
Hell yeah!
795
00:35:01,399 --> 00:35:03,399
Thank you so much, sir.
796
00:35:03,401 --> 00:35:04,443
When do I start?
797
00:35:04,445 --> 00:35:06,314
Manny will let you know.
798
00:35:06,316 --> 00:35:10,408
He runs all my side businesses.
799
00:35:18,459 --> 00:35:21,419
[slow-paced music]
800
00:35:26,206 --> 00:35:28,817
[phone dialing]
801
00:35:33,387 --> 00:35:36,257
Yeah, listen, Manny.
802
00:35:36,259 --> 00:35:37,913
Jack's our new delivery guy.
803
00:35:38,784 --> 00:35:40,131
Yep.
804
00:35:40,133 --> 00:35:41,090
Set him up.
805
00:35:43,658 --> 00:35:45,878
Don't worry about if
it doesn't work out.
806
00:35:47,575 --> 00:35:49,534
Well, then we'll have
one less student.
807
00:35:50,578 --> 00:35:51,492
Right, exactly.
808
00:35:56,018 --> 00:35:57,455
Tomorrow's delivery will work.
809
00:35:58,499 --> 00:35:59,544
Okay.
810
00:36:11,686 --> 00:36:14,600
[grunting]
Jack!
811
00:36:14,602 --> 00:36:16,996
[Man] Now, where were we?
812
00:36:18,432 --> 00:36:20,478
[grunting]
813
00:36:21,522 --> 00:36:24,567
Jack!
814
00:36:24,569 --> 00:36:25,481
Jack!
815
00:36:25,483 --> 00:36:26,830
What?
816
00:36:26,832 --> 00:36:28,788
I'm watching TV.
817
00:36:28,790 --> 00:36:30,660
Yeah, you and the
whole neighborhood.
818
00:36:30,662 --> 00:36:32,662
It's late, go to sleep.
819
00:36:32,664 --> 00:36:33,532
I can't.
820
00:36:33,534 --> 00:36:34,753
I'm too excited.
821
00:36:36,581 --> 00:36:38,929
I got my new job, we
start class tomorrow,
822
00:36:38,931 --> 00:36:42,108
and my tuition is paid in full.
823
00:36:43,109 --> 00:36:43,936
About that.
824
00:36:48,244 --> 00:36:49,505
When are you getting
your own place?
825
00:36:49,507 --> 00:36:50,810
Come on, Chris.
826
00:36:50,812 --> 00:36:52,551
I gotta save up some money.
827
00:36:52,553 --> 00:36:54,118
I can't afford my own place yet.
828
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,729
Well, how do you expect to
work two jobs and go to school?
829
00:36:56,731 --> 00:37:00,559
I don't know, don't worry
about it, I'll figure it out.
830
00:37:00,561 --> 00:37:01,604
I need my space.
831
00:37:01,606 --> 00:37:03,562
You're kinda cramping my style.
832
00:37:03,564 --> 00:37:05,521
I can't even meditate.
833
00:37:05,523 --> 00:37:08,698
And what's this job
that Vinny got you?
834
00:37:08,700 --> 00:37:10,049
Making deliveries.
835
00:37:10,963 --> 00:37:12,702
Delivering what?
836
00:37:12,704 --> 00:37:13,616
I don't know.
837
00:37:13,618 --> 00:37:15,182
Doesn't matter, go to bed.
838
00:37:15,184 --> 00:37:16,619
Turn down the TV.
839
00:37:16,621 --> 00:37:18,795
I need my sleep.
840
00:37:18,797 --> 00:37:20,579
[sighing]
841
00:37:20,581 --> 00:37:21,756
Fine, okay.
842
00:37:23,453 --> 00:37:24,583
Good night.
843
00:37:24,585 --> 00:37:25,673
Good night.
844
00:37:39,165 --> 00:37:41,776
[TV chattering]
845
00:37:46,738 --> 00:37:49,739
[phone ringing]
846
00:37:49,741 --> 00:37:50,568
Hello?
847
00:37:51,873 --> 00:37:53,571
Oh, hey, Manny.
848
00:37:54,833 --> 00:37:56,572
What?
849
00:37:56,574 --> 00:37:57,444
Tomorrow?
850
00:37:58,706 --> 00:38:01,272
5 a.m., are you shitting me?
851
00:38:01,274 --> 00:38:02,971
No, no, I can do it.
852
00:38:04,843 --> 00:38:06,714
I just gotta be at work on time.
853
00:38:07,889 --> 00:38:08,716
Okay.
854
00:38:09,717 --> 00:38:11,499
Text me the address.
855
00:38:11,501 --> 00:38:12,328
Okay.
856
00:38:13,373 --> 00:38:14,853
See you at 5 a.m.
857
00:38:26,691 --> 00:38:29,692
[snoring]
858
00:38:29,694 --> 00:38:32,348
[phone ringing]
859
00:38:39,834 --> 00:38:40,661
Hello?
860
00:38:42,054 --> 00:38:43,314
Shit!
861
00:38:43,316 --> 00:38:45,229
Manny, I am so sorry.
862
00:38:45,231 --> 00:38:46,578
I'll be there in five minutes.
863
00:38:46,580 --> 00:38:47,712
I am so sorry.
864
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:55,937
[dramatic music]
865
00:38:57,243 --> 00:38:59,199
Where the hell have you been?
866
00:38:59,201 --> 00:39:00,725
I've been texting your phone.
867
00:39:02,596 --> 00:39:03,377
Oh.
868
00:39:03,379 --> 00:39:04,683
Forget it at home.
869
00:39:04,685 --> 00:39:05,817
Sorry, Manny.
870
00:39:15,740 --> 00:39:16,695
What is it?
871
00:39:16,697 --> 00:39:17,957
Don't worry about it.
872
00:39:17,959 --> 00:39:20,699
Just deliver it to the
address on the package.
873
00:39:20,701 --> 00:39:22,832
Okay, I have to
go to work first,
874
00:39:22,834 --> 00:39:24,311
so I'll deliver it later.
875
00:39:24,313 --> 00:39:25,748
No, now.
876
00:39:25,750 --> 00:39:26,751
But I'll be late.
877
00:39:30,537 --> 00:39:31,843
I'll give your boss a note.
878
00:39:42,810 --> 00:39:45,770
[dramatic music]
879
00:40:00,610 --> 00:40:02,654
Ow, what'd you do that for?
880
00:40:02,656 --> 00:40:04,177
We're closed.
881
00:40:04,179 --> 00:40:06,745
Couldn't you have said
that without hitting me?
882
00:40:06,747 --> 00:40:08,138
No.
883
00:40:08,140 --> 00:40:10,793
I have a package to
deliver, I have to go inside.
884
00:40:10,795 --> 00:40:11,924
We're closed!
885
00:40:11,926 --> 00:40:13,186
We're closed!
886
00:40:13,188 --> 00:40:15,582
I need to go inside.
887
00:40:17,453 --> 00:40:18,716
Okay, fine.
888
00:40:19,934 --> 00:40:21,804
Bruno's gonna be pissed.
889
00:40:21,806 --> 00:40:22,894
Bruno?
890
00:40:24,199 --> 00:40:25,766
Are you his new delivery boy?
891
00:40:26,636 --> 00:40:27,507
Yes?
892
00:40:28,290 --> 00:40:29,768
You don't know?
893
00:40:29,770 --> 00:40:31,030
Yes, I am.
894
00:40:31,032 --> 00:40:33,511
Manny gave me this
package to deliver.
895
00:40:33,513 --> 00:40:34,773
Give it to me.
896
00:40:34,775 --> 00:40:36,601
No way.
897
00:40:36,603 --> 00:40:38,646
I have very specific instructions
on who to give this to.
898
00:40:38,648 --> 00:40:39,778
[Woman] Heidi.
899
00:40:39,780 --> 00:40:41,824
Yeah, how did you know that?
900
00:40:41,826 --> 00:40:42,868
I'm Heidi.
901
00:40:42,870 --> 00:40:44,132
Yeah, right.
902
00:40:45,786 --> 00:40:46,742
You done out here?
903
00:40:46,744 --> 00:40:48,047
Does it look like I'm done?!
904
00:40:48,049 --> 00:40:49,396
Don't hurt me.
905
00:40:49,398 --> 00:40:50,748
Just come inside
when you're done.
906
00:40:52,358 --> 00:40:55,011
Can you sign something to
prove that I gave it to you?
907
00:40:55,013 --> 00:40:56,754
Do I look like UPS?
908
00:40:57,798 --> 00:40:59,278
All right, here you go.
909
00:41:00,192 --> 00:41:01,191
Ow, jeez!
910
00:41:01,193 --> 00:41:02,932
What are you, Fed-Ex?
911
00:41:02,934 --> 00:41:05,543
Don't drop my package.
912
00:41:05,545 --> 00:41:06,328
Thank you.
913
00:41:10,463 --> 00:41:12,158
[camera clicking]
914
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,770
Bruno's got a
new delivery guy.
915
00:41:14,772 --> 00:41:17,992
[comical piano music]
916
00:41:26,958 --> 00:41:28,002
Hey, Jack.
917
00:41:28,829 --> 00:41:30,916
You have some customers.
918
00:41:30,918 --> 00:41:33,005
[comical piano music]
919
00:41:33,007 --> 00:41:36,139
Hello and welcome to
Carolina Drive-In, ladies.
920
00:41:36,141 --> 00:41:37,444
Ladies?
921
00:41:37,446 --> 00:41:39,011
Do we look that old?
922
00:41:39,013 --> 00:41:41,840
Sorry, ladies, I mean, ma'am.
923
00:41:41,842 --> 00:41:43,668
So I'm a grandma now?
924
00:41:43,670 --> 00:41:46,279
Dude, you better quit now
before things get ugly.
925
00:41:46,281 --> 00:41:48,586
Gina, he is just being
a southern gentleman.
926
00:41:48,588 --> 00:41:50,416
Oh, I'm not from the South.
927
00:41:51,765 --> 00:41:53,767
But I have friends in the South.
928
00:41:55,116 --> 00:41:57,551
Bloody Mary and
I want a good pour.
929
00:41:57,553 --> 00:41:58,901
And put it in a go cup.
930
00:41:58,903 --> 00:42:00,206
Coffee, please.
931
00:42:00,208 --> 00:42:03,557
Yeah, coffee and
water, about a gallon.
932
00:42:03,559 --> 00:42:05,823
Very good, I'll be right
back with your drinks.
933
00:42:07,650 --> 00:42:08,867
Gina, why are you
mean to our server?
934
00:42:08,869 --> 00:42:11,609
I think I'm still drunk.
935
00:42:11,611 --> 00:42:13,045
Why do my legs hurt?
936
00:42:13,047 --> 00:42:16,005
Could have been all that
table dancing last night.
937
00:42:16,007 --> 00:42:17,136
Table dancing?
938
00:42:17,138 --> 00:42:18,921
Shit, I don't remember that.
939
00:42:18,923 --> 00:42:20,966
Yeah, I told you not
to get on the table
940
00:42:20,968 --> 00:42:22,054
with that skirt on.
941
00:42:22,056 --> 00:42:23,882
Was I at least
wearing underwear?
942
00:42:23,884 --> 00:42:25,536
When you got on
or off the table?
943
00:42:25,538 --> 00:42:27,146
Fuck, nevermind.
944
00:42:27,148 --> 00:42:29,018
Your divorce party
was much better
945
00:42:29,020 --> 00:42:30,062
than your bachelorette
party, though.
946
00:42:30,064 --> 00:42:32,282
I remember your divorce party
947
00:42:32,284 --> 00:42:35,285
and you got a little
cray cray as well.
948
00:42:35,287 --> 00:42:37,026
All right, here's your drinks.
949
00:42:37,028 --> 00:42:39,463
Now what would
y'all like to order?
950
00:42:39,465 --> 00:42:40,856
Dude, don't even try.
951
00:42:40,858 --> 00:42:43,162
Gina, stop it!
952
00:42:43,164 --> 00:42:45,208
What would you recommend
for a hangover?
953
00:42:45,210 --> 00:42:46,818
Cheeseburger.
954
00:42:46,820 --> 00:42:49,168
All the cheese, all the bacon.
955
00:42:49,170 --> 00:42:50,169
It always works for me.
956
00:42:50,171 --> 00:42:52,955
Done and fries, lots of fries.
957
00:42:52,957 --> 00:42:54,913
I'm gonna do the fruit salad
958
00:42:54,915 --> 00:42:57,831
with an egg white
omelet and wheat toast.
959
00:42:58,919 --> 00:42:59,831
Great.
960
00:42:59,833 --> 00:43:01,354
Very good.
961
00:43:01,356 --> 00:43:03,313
You're making me
look like a pig.
962
00:43:03,315 --> 00:43:04,836
Stop it, you are not a pig.
963
00:43:04,838 --> 00:43:06,535
You're just hungover.
964
00:43:07,797 --> 00:43:08,886
So now what?
965
00:43:12,106 --> 00:43:13,279
Hangover?
966
00:43:13,281 --> 00:43:14,108
Yep.
967
00:43:14,979 --> 00:43:16,630
That chick is just rude.
968
00:43:16,632 --> 00:43:18,067
Which one?
969
00:43:18,069 --> 00:43:20,243
The dark haired
girl with the hat on.
970
00:43:20,245 --> 00:43:21,635
Oh, that's Gina.
971
00:43:21,637 --> 00:43:23,899
She's a regular,
she'll grow on you.
972
00:43:23,901 --> 00:43:24,856
Yeah.
973
00:43:24,858 --> 00:43:26,989
Like mold on stale bread.
974
00:43:26,991 --> 00:43:27,815
[chuckles]
975
00:43:27,817 --> 00:43:29,295
Just be nice.
976
00:43:29,297 --> 00:43:30,949
She tips well.
977
00:43:30,951 --> 00:43:32,344
Unless you piss her off.
978
00:43:33,475 --> 00:43:34,302
Damn.
979
00:43:36,478 --> 00:43:38,174
I tore that shit up.
980
00:43:38,176 --> 00:43:39,653
Yes, you did.
981
00:43:39,655 --> 00:43:41,525
I'm gonna hit the gym later.
982
00:43:41,527 --> 00:43:43,048
What about the interview?
983
00:43:43,050 --> 00:43:44,615
I gotta hit the gym first,
984
00:43:44,617 --> 00:43:47,313
relieve some stress and
work off these fries.
985
00:43:47,315 --> 00:43:48,271
Then the interview.
986
00:43:48,273 --> 00:43:49,620
Are you ready?
987
00:43:49,622 --> 00:43:52,971
Tidy up, clean up, you
know you gotta speed up,
988
00:43:52,973 --> 00:43:56,322
take a sip, pep up, and
you'll have to get up.
989
00:43:56,324 --> 00:43:58,585
Hey, that's pretty good.
990
00:43:58,587 --> 00:43:59,499
What's it for?
991
00:43:59,501 --> 00:44:00,938
Menstrual cramps commercial.
992
00:44:03,114 --> 00:44:03,939
I don't get it.
993
00:44:03,941 --> 00:44:04,765
Is that our bill?
994
00:44:04,767 --> 00:44:06,028
Yep.
995
00:44:06,030 --> 00:44:07,116
Unless you guys
want anything else.
996
00:44:07,118 --> 00:44:08,247
Desserts?
997
00:44:08,249 --> 00:44:09,422
[Ally] No, thank you.
998
00:44:09,424 --> 00:44:10,858
It's been my
pleasure serving you.
999
00:44:10,860 --> 00:44:12,077
[Ally] Thank you.
1000
00:44:12,079 --> 00:44:13,951
You must enjoy having
your teeth drilled.
1001
00:44:16,823 --> 00:44:18,127
I'll get this.
1002
00:44:18,129 --> 00:44:20,131
[Ally] Oh, no, you can
pay after you get a job.
1003
00:44:23,351 --> 00:44:24,133
You ready?
1004
00:44:24,135 --> 00:44:25,005
Yeah, let's go.
1005
00:44:28,966 --> 00:44:29,877
What a bitch!
1006
00:44:29,879 --> 00:44:31,227
I couldn't do anything right.
1007
00:44:31,229 --> 00:44:32,880
No one can.
1008
00:44:32,882 --> 00:44:34,230
Her husband recently left her.
1009
00:44:34,232 --> 00:44:35,492
Oh, wow.
1010
00:44:35,494 --> 00:44:37,233
For her sister.
1011
00:44:37,235 --> 00:44:38,018
Ouch.
1012
00:44:51,466 --> 00:44:52,900
Well, I'll be damned.
1013
00:44:52,902 --> 00:44:53,816
Told you so.
1014
00:44:56,036 --> 00:44:57,688
Men.
1015
00:44:57,690 --> 00:45:00,432
This is your first
practical test.
1016
00:45:03,174 --> 00:45:05,132
What the hell?
1017
00:45:07,004 --> 00:45:08,046
You're late, Jack.
1018
00:45:08,048 --> 00:45:09,265
Sorry, I got
out of work late...
1019
00:45:09,267 --> 00:45:10,746
Oh, don't you.
1020
00:45:12,052 --> 00:45:14,835
Lateness will not be tolerated.
1021
00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:16,230
- But...
- No buts.
1022
00:45:18,493 --> 00:45:19,755
Drop and give me 20.
1023
00:45:20,626 --> 00:45:23,368
[dramatic music]
1024
00:45:30,331 --> 00:45:34,640
As I was saying, this is
your first practical test.
1025
00:45:35,423 --> 00:45:38,076
This skill will save your life
1026
00:45:38,078 --> 00:45:41,560
and your family Jules
when done effectively.
1027
00:45:42,387 --> 00:45:43,734
Now.
1028
00:45:43,736 --> 00:45:44,563
Let's get ready.
1029
00:45:45,651 --> 00:45:46,478
Attention.
1030
00:45:47,870 --> 00:45:48,782
[knocking]
1031
00:45:48,784 --> 00:45:49,957
There's a knock at the door.
1032
00:45:49,959 --> 00:45:51,481
Stop what you're doing.
1033
00:45:51,483 --> 00:45:53,396
Drop on the floor.
1034
00:45:53,398 --> 00:45:54,921
Roll under the bed.
1035
00:45:57,097 --> 00:45:58,142
Back to one.
1036
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:00,142
[knocking]
1037
00:46:00,144 --> 00:46:01,493
Back to one, let's go.
1038
00:46:03,190 --> 00:46:04,233
Right.
1039
00:46:04,235 --> 00:46:05,538
Attention.
1040
00:46:05,540 --> 00:46:07,062
[knocking] There's
a knock at the door.
1041
00:46:07,064 --> 00:46:08,846
Stop what you're doing.
1042
00:46:08,848 --> 00:46:10,326
Drop to the floor.
1043
00:46:10,328 --> 00:46:12,328
Roll under the bed.
1044
00:46:12,330 --> 00:46:15,287
Yeah, this drop, stop,
and roll technique,
1045
00:46:15,289 --> 00:46:18,290
when mastered will save
your butt every time
1046
00:46:18,292 --> 00:46:22,033
that boyfriend or husband
shows up unexpectedly.
1047
00:46:22,035 --> 00:46:24,688
Now, let's do it again.
1048
00:46:24,690 --> 00:46:26,516
[clapping] Come on, let's go.
1049
00:46:26,518 --> 00:46:28,126
Move those titties.
1050
00:46:28,128 --> 00:46:29,780
All right, yeah.
1051
00:46:29,782 --> 00:46:31,129
All right.
1052
00:46:31,131 --> 00:46:32,263
Attention.
1053
00:46:33,133 --> 00:46:34,176
[knocking] There's
a knock at the door.
1054
00:46:34,178 --> 00:46:35,829
Stop what you're doing.
1055
00:46:35,831 --> 00:46:36,613
Drop to the floor.
1056
00:46:36,615 --> 00:46:38,095
Roll under the bed.
1057
00:46:39,792 --> 00:46:42,140
All right, come
on, man up, guys.
1058
00:46:42,142 --> 00:46:44,229
Work through the pain.
1059
00:46:44,231 --> 00:46:47,016
Better to have a bruised
leg than a fist to the face.
1060
00:46:47,974 --> 00:46:48,975
Let's do it again.
1061
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:53,586
I counted it already.
1062
00:46:53,588 --> 00:46:55,588
That's why you pay me, isn't it?
1063
00:46:55,590 --> 00:46:57,634
Vinny, I know, I just love
1064
00:46:57,636 --> 00:47:00,289
the feel of fresh
cash in my hands.
1065
00:47:00,291 --> 00:47:01,640
Yeah, it feels good.
1066
00:47:03,032 --> 00:47:05,555
Is Manny working on the books?
1067
00:47:05,557 --> 00:47:07,731
Yeah, he's adding it up now.
1068
00:47:07,733 --> 00:47:09,213
Making sure everything adds up.
1069
00:47:10,344 --> 00:47:11,952
Correctly.
1070
00:47:11,954 --> 00:47:14,696
Hey, you know, I've
been meaning to ask you.
1071
00:47:16,220 --> 00:47:17,741
How the newbies doing?
1072
00:47:17,743 --> 00:47:18,829
[chuckles]
1073
00:47:18,831 --> 00:47:20,483
They've been working hard.
1074
00:47:20,485 --> 00:47:22,441
Yeah, they got lots of bruises.
1075
00:47:22,443 --> 00:47:25,836
Manny's been teaching them
about endurance in the bedroom.
1076
00:47:25,838 --> 00:47:27,446
I love that session.
1077
00:47:27,448 --> 00:47:29,187
You got the doc on call?
1078
00:47:29,189 --> 00:47:30,625
Yeah, he's ready.
1079
00:47:31,887 --> 00:47:33,802
Just in case.
1080
00:47:34,847 --> 00:47:36,544
White or yellow?
1081
00:47:37,415 --> 00:47:39,066
White.
1082
00:47:39,068 --> 00:47:40,896
The yellow takes too long.
1083
00:47:42,202 --> 00:47:43,201
Good.
1084
00:47:43,203 --> 00:47:44,248
Good.
1085
00:47:48,295 --> 00:47:51,298
[dramatic music]
1086
00:47:57,565 --> 00:47:58,825
Guys!
1087
00:47:58,827 --> 00:48:00,175
Come on.
1088
00:48:00,177 --> 00:48:02,179
It's more important that
the woman is satisfied.
1089
00:48:09,490 --> 00:48:11,969
I got to pee but I can't,
what am I supposed to do?
1090
00:48:11,971 --> 00:48:13,275
Not pee.
1091
00:48:13,277 --> 00:48:14,278
Get out of here.
1092
00:48:17,672 --> 00:48:19,498
[dramatic music]
1093
00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:21,326
Damn, I feel like Superman.
1094
00:48:21,328 --> 00:48:22,371
How about you?
1095
00:48:22,373 --> 00:48:23,287
I feel good.
1096
00:48:24,288 --> 00:48:26,418
Look out, ladies, here I come!
1097
00:48:26,420 --> 00:48:28,203
Wait, so you've never
taken a boner pill?
1098
00:48:28,205 --> 00:48:30,248
No, I've never
had to before now.
1099
00:48:30,250 --> 00:48:31,425
[Chris] Yeah, me neither.
1100
00:48:32,513 --> 00:48:33,338
What do you think of it?
1101
00:48:33,340 --> 00:48:34,600
Oh, I didn't take one.
1102
00:48:34,602 --> 00:48:36,167
Why not?
1103
00:48:36,169 --> 00:48:37,299
I don't need to.
1104
00:48:37,301 --> 00:48:39,781
That's a bunch of
fake shit anyway.
1105
00:48:40,565 --> 00:48:41,564
I like.
1106
00:48:41,566 --> 00:48:42,869
Well, don't get used to it.
1107
00:48:42,871 --> 00:48:44,567
It won't last long
and if it does,
1108
00:48:44,569 --> 00:48:46,005
you're going to the ER.
1109
00:48:50,357 --> 00:48:54,446
You don't need a man in
your life to be complete.
1110
00:48:54,448 --> 00:48:59,277
You must first find peace and
completeness within yourself.
1111
00:48:59,279 --> 00:49:02,456
Be the woman you
know you can be.
1112
00:49:03,370 --> 00:49:06,371
Take that first step
and the remaining ones
1113
00:49:06,373 --> 00:49:07,722
will fall into place.
1114
00:49:08,941 --> 00:49:10,332
Now...
1115
00:49:10,334 --> 00:49:13,596
Why do I hear be the
do, do the do in my head?
1116
00:49:13,598 --> 00:49:15,467
Don't be so negative.
1117
00:49:15,469 --> 00:49:17,904
She's come a long way and
she's helped a lot of women
1118
00:49:17,906 --> 00:49:19,341
along the way.
1119
00:49:19,343 --> 00:49:21,473
This is such bullshit.
1120
00:49:21,475 --> 00:49:23,823
She's just trying
to sell her book.
1121
00:49:23,825 --> 00:49:27,392
I need something real,
not commercial pop speak.
1122
00:49:27,394 --> 00:49:28,306
Not enjoying the talk?
1123
00:49:28,308 --> 00:49:30,003
It's such bullshit.
1124
00:49:30,005 --> 00:49:32,223
She's so fake.
1125
00:49:32,225 --> 00:49:34,921
She doesn't know what
I'm going through.
1126
00:49:34,923 --> 00:49:36,836
They're nothing but sheep here.
1127
00:49:36,838 --> 00:49:40,013
You have to read her story
to really understand her.
1128
00:49:40,015 --> 00:49:42,146
Yeah, whatever.
1129
00:49:42,148 --> 00:49:44,366
She really does
have a great story.
1130
00:49:44,368 --> 00:49:45,715
She just doesn't talk about
1131
00:49:45,717 --> 00:49:47,456
how she got her confidence
up in the beginning.
1132
00:49:47,458 --> 00:49:49,068
See, I told you.
1133
00:49:49,938 --> 00:49:50,720
Wait?
1134
00:49:50,722 --> 00:49:52,330
How do you know that?
1135
00:49:52,332 --> 00:49:54,376
'Cause she got her start
with me, at my school.
1136
00:49:54,378 --> 00:49:56,249
And who are you?
1137
00:49:57,511 --> 00:49:58,858
I'm Rhonda.
1138
00:49:58,860 --> 00:50:00,860
I run A Lady's
Place here in town.
1139
00:50:00,862 --> 00:50:02,819
What the hell is that?
1140
00:50:02,821 --> 00:50:04,603
We teach women
how to have strength
1141
00:50:04,605 --> 00:50:06,388
and power of their own
1142
00:50:06,390 --> 00:50:09,739
and not get caught up in
a man's illusion of power.
1143
00:50:09,741 --> 00:50:11,960
So you're selling a book, too?
1144
00:50:13,179 --> 00:50:15,484
Come on, Ally, let's get
the hell out of here.
1145
00:50:15,486 --> 00:50:17,442
Don't mind my friend,
she's just getting out of her
1146
00:50:17,444 --> 00:50:19,401
second bad marriage.
1147
00:50:19,403 --> 00:50:20,793
I don't mind.
1148
00:50:20,795 --> 00:50:22,014
I know her type.
1149
00:50:23,450 --> 00:50:26,451
Bitch just meets me and
thinks she knows my shit.
1150
00:50:26,453 --> 00:50:27,539
Bitch.
1151
00:50:27,541 --> 00:50:29,411
I know your shit 'cause I was
1152
00:50:29,413 --> 00:50:32,109
in your shit not that long ago.
1153
00:50:32,111 --> 00:50:35,547
Do you think you're the
only bitch with problems?
1154
00:50:35,549 --> 00:50:36,376
Grow up.
1155
00:50:38,726 --> 00:50:40,813
I like this lady.
1156
00:50:40,815 --> 00:50:42,861
Okay, I'm listening.
1157
00:50:43,688 --> 00:50:44,471
What you got?
1158
00:50:47,039 --> 00:50:50,040
Come to our orientation
session tomorrow night.
1159
00:50:50,042 --> 00:50:51,783
I promise you won't
be disappointed.
1160
00:50:55,134 --> 00:50:56,394
Pay attention, Gina.
1161
00:50:56,396 --> 00:50:58,744
No, I'm done here.
1162
00:50:58,746 --> 00:51:00,398
Let's go, I'm getting hungry.
1163
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:01,965
That's it?
1164
00:51:01,967 --> 00:51:03,532
It's not over.
1165
00:51:03,534 --> 00:51:06,448
I'm gonna go to this place
and you're gonna come with me.
1166
00:51:06,450 --> 00:51:07,492
Why?
1167
00:51:07,494 --> 00:51:09,451
Because you
dragged my ass here,
1168
00:51:09,453 --> 00:51:11,629
so I'm dragging your
ass with me tomorrow.
1169
00:51:20,115 --> 00:51:21,506
What the hell are you wearing?
1170
00:51:21,508 --> 00:51:23,989
Protection, from that girl.
1171
00:51:24,903 --> 00:51:26,206
[Bruno] Mei?
1172
00:51:26,208 --> 00:51:27,294
You?
1173
00:51:27,296 --> 00:51:28,123
What?
1174
00:51:29,342 --> 00:51:31,081
No, that, that girl.
1175
00:51:31,083 --> 00:51:32,517
Yeah, Mei.
1176
00:51:32,519 --> 00:51:33,605
[Jack] No, not you.
1177
00:51:33,607 --> 00:51:35,392
Don't be stupid, Jack.
1178
00:51:36,218 --> 00:51:37,568
Her name is Mei.
1179
00:51:38,612 --> 00:51:39,611
Oh.
1180
00:51:39,613 --> 00:51:41,570
I thought her name was Heidi.
1181
00:51:41,572 --> 00:51:43,223
Heidi?
1182
00:51:43,225 --> 00:51:45,400
Does she look like a Heidi?
1183
00:51:45,402 --> 00:51:46,575
No.
1184
00:51:46,577 --> 00:51:49,186
You're one tough
guy, aren't you, Jack?
1185
00:51:49,188 --> 00:51:50,753
She's tough as nails.
1186
00:51:50,755 --> 00:51:52,496
I got the bruises to prove it.
1187
00:51:53,453 --> 00:51:54,757
Why are you here?
1188
00:51:54,759 --> 00:51:57,805
Why couldn't you deliver
the package yourself?
1189
00:51:59,677 --> 00:52:02,155
[dramatic music]
1190
00:52:02,157 --> 00:52:03,594
I don't do deliveries.
1191
00:52:04,551 --> 00:52:07,380
[slow-paced music]
1192
00:52:23,614 --> 00:52:25,529
Thank you for
delivering my package.
1193
00:52:27,618 --> 00:52:28,834
What the hell?
1194
00:52:28,836 --> 00:52:29,881
See you next time.
1195
00:52:32,623 --> 00:52:34,231
Yeah.
1196
00:52:34,233 --> 00:52:35,060
I got it.
1197
00:52:36,801 --> 00:52:38,148
Get this.
1198
00:52:38,150 --> 00:52:39,717
Bruno showed up at the delivery.
1199
00:52:41,458 --> 00:52:43,285
Yeah, I'm headed back now.
1200
00:52:45,636 --> 00:52:46,463
Gotcha.
1201
00:52:52,512 --> 00:52:55,472
[dramatic music]
1202
00:53:05,743 --> 00:53:07,046
What is it?
1203
00:53:07,048 --> 00:53:08,526
Bruno's here to see you.
1204
00:53:08,528 --> 00:53:11,224
Well, tell him
I'm busy, Jules.
1205
00:53:11,226 --> 00:53:12,922
It's Julian.
1206
00:53:12,924 --> 00:53:14,708
Now, Jules,
1207
00:53:15,535 --> 00:53:17,622
why did I hire you?
1208
00:53:17,624 --> 00:53:20,712
Because you fired the
last assistant you had.
1209
00:53:20,714 --> 00:53:23,454
Exactly, because
Benji couldn't
1210
00:53:23,456 --> 00:53:25,325
keep unwanted visitors out.
1211
00:53:25,327 --> 00:53:26,370
[Julian] Benjamin.
1212
00:53:26,372 --> 00:53:27,373
Whatever.
1213
00:53:28,156 --> 00:53:29,506
Go tell Bruno I'm busy.
1214
00:53:30,419 --> 00:53:31,636
[sighs]
1215
00:53:31,638 --> 00:53:34,380
[dramatic music]
1216
00:53:45,696 --> 00:53:48,261
[door shutting]
1217
00:53:48,263 --> 00:53:50,568
You're gonna need
a bigger assistant
1218
00:53:50,570 --> 00:53:53,005
if you wanna keep me out.
1219
00:53:53,007 --> 00:53:54,354
[Rhonda] What do you want?
1220
00:53:54,356 --> 00:53:56,576
Just to discuss our
upcoming school dance.
1221
00:53:58,056 --> 00:53:59,272
Dance?
1222
00:53:59,274 --> 00:54:00,752
What dance?
1223
00:54:00,754 --> 00:54:02,624
[Bruno] Our
annual competition.
1224
00:54:02,626 --> 00:54:04,669
It's not a dance.
1225
00:54:04,671 --> 00:54:08,455
Well, I've told my students
it is, so just go with it.
1226
00:54:08,457 --> 00:54:11,676
That is, unless you
don't have any students.
1227
00:54:11,678 --> 00:54:13,809
I know business has been rough.
1228
00:54:13,811 --> 00:54:15,769
Business is just fine.
1229
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:17,813
I've got a whole
crop of new recruits
1230
00:54:17,815 --> 00:54:19,466
coming to orientation tonight.
1231
00:54:19,468 --> 00:54:20,295
Good.
1232
00:54:21,383 --> 00:54:23,601
You've got two
weeks to get ready.
1233
00:54:23,603 --> 00:54:25,168
Two weeks?
1234
00:54:25,170 --> 00:54:26,735
We don't start our first
session 'til tomorrow night.
1235
00:54:26,737 --> 00:54:29,346
I can't possibly have
them ready in two weeks.
1236
00:54:29,348 --> 00:54:30,695
Okay, then.
1237
00:54:30,697 --> 00:54:32,436
If you want to forfeit.
1238
00:54:32,438 --> 00:54:34,569
No, hell no, I don't.
1239
00:54:34,571 --> 00:54:36,005
We'll be ready.
1240
00:54:36,007 --> 00:54:36,834
[Bruno] Good.
1241
00:54:39,358 --> 00:54:42,054
Why don't we raise
the stakes this year?
1242
00:54:42,056 --> 00:54:43,969
What did you have in mind?
1243
00:54:43,971 --> 00:54:45,580
Ownership rights.
1244
00:54:45,582 --> 00:54:46,493
[Bruno] Of what?
1245
00:54:46,495 --> 00:54:47,973
The business.
1246
00:54:47,975 --> 00:54:51,629
I win, you close your
stupid macho academy.
1247
00:54:51,631 --> 00:54:52,587
[chuckling]
1248
00:54:52,589 --> 00:54:53,894
[Bruno] And when I win?
1249
00:54:55,026 --> 00:54:56,416
I'll close A Lady's Place.
1250
00:54:56,418 --> 00:54:57,679
[Bruno] Deal.
1251
00:54:57,681 --> 00:54:59,291
[Rhonda] That was too easy.
1252
00:55:00,901 --> 00:55:02,509
Nope.
1253
00:55:02,511 --> 00:55:04,165
I just know you're gonna lose.
1254
00:55:09,693 --> 00:55:12,607
[dramatic music]
1255
00:55:12,609 --> 00:55:14,086
What's this?
1256
00:55:14,088 --> 00:55:16,132
Your alimony check.
1257
00:55:16,134 --> 00:55:18,745
I figured you might
need it a little early.
1258
00:55:24,229 --> 00:55:25,056
Asshole.
1259
00:55:26,144 --> 00:55:27,449
Jules, get in here.
1260
00:55:32,672 --> 00:55:33,760
It's Julian.
1261
00:55:34,718 --> 00:55:35,891
Whatever.
1262
00:55:35,893 --> 00:55:36,720
Sit down.
1263
00:55:46,425 --> 00:55:47,685
This is it?
1264
00:55:47,687 --> 00:55:48,817
Where are all the
recruits, Jules?
1265
00:55:48,819 --> 00:55:51,691
I'm sorry, it's
all I could round up.
1266
00:55:52,692 --> 00:55:53,648
Okay.
1267
00:55:53,650 --> 00:55:55,606
New tactic.
1268
00:55:55,608 --> 00:55:58,609
I worked all day
on that speech.
1269
00:55:58,611 --> 00:55:59,656
Well, it won't do now.
1270
00:56:03,181 --> 00:56:05,398
Get ready to leave
in five minutes.
1271
00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:07,270
I thought you wanted
to hear what she says.
1272
00:56:07,272 --> 00:56:10,621
Yeah, she's got five
minutes to get my attention.
1273
00:56:10,623 --> 00:56:14,801
You're all
pathetic, weak women.
1274
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:18,455
Losers.
1275
00:56:18,457 --> 00:56:19,717
All of you.
1276
00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:21,676
Let's go, I don't like
how this is starting.
1277
00:56:21,678 --> 00:56:23,112
Wait.
1278
00:56:23,114 --> 00:56:25,070
And that's what you've
been told your whole life.
1279
00:56:25,072 --> 00:56:26,117
By men.
1280
00:56:27,509 --> 00:56:28,552
Men.
1281
00:56:28,554 --> 00:56:31,339
The supposedly stronger sex.
1282
00:56:32,384 --> 00:56:35,692
Men who always get their ways.
1283
00:56:37,215 --> 00:56:41,739
Men who make more money
doing the exact same thing
1284
00:56:41,741 --> 00:56:42,611
that you do.
1285
00:56:43,743 --> 00:56:46,091
They act like you're an equal
1286
00:56:46,093 --> 00:56:48,835
but they want you to do
exactly what they say.
1287
00:56:50,576 --> 00:56:52,447
What do you mean
you have a headache?
1288
00:56:53,710 --> 00:56:57,539
Oh, wait, are you
on your period?
1289
00:56:59,193 --> 00:57:02,804
Well, why else are you
dressed like that, huh?
1290
00:57:02,806 --> 00:57:04,459
You want it, don't ya?
1291
00:57:06,374 --> 00:57:09,767
You know, if a women
shows aggression
1292
00:57:09,769 --> 00:57:12,422
and, God forbid, actually
wants to have sex,
1293
00:57:12,424 --> 00:57:16,645
she's called a
whore, a slut, easy.
1294
00:57:17,734 --> 00:57:19,472
But when a man
sleeps around, well,
1295
00:57:19,474 --> 00:57:21,779
his buddies, they just put him
1296
00:57:21,781 --> 00:57:24,521
on a pedestal and cheer him on.
1297
00:57:24,523 --> 00:57:26,392
Does that make any sense?
1298
00:57:26,394 --> 00:57:27,831
I mean, like, any, does it?
1299
00:57:29,441 --> 00:57:31,615
I'm here to tell
you that you don't
1300
00:57:31,617 --> 00:57:33,706
have to take that
bullshit any longer.
1301
00:57:34,794 --> 00:57:37,577
You have the power
to change perception,
1302
00:57:37,579 --> 00:57:39,884
be the woman that you've
always wanted to be,
1303
00:57:39,886 --> 00:57:43,932
and take those men by the balls.
1304
00:57:43,934 --> 00:57:47,109
And I don't mean figuratively.
1305
00:57:47,111 --> 00:57:51,768
I mean grab those
dangling marbles
1306
00:57:52,943 --> 00:57:55,813
and just squeeze tight
1307
00:57:55,815 --> 00:57:57,423
and you know what?
1308
00:57:57,425 --> 00:58:01,558
You'll have total control
over any man that you want.
1309
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:05,780
So if you're tired of being
taken advantage of by men,
1310
00:58:05,782 --> 00:58:07,172
I can help you.
1311
00:58:07,174 --> 00:58:08,826
Two weeks.
1312
00:58:08,828 --> 00:58:12,789
That is all it will take to
completely change your life.
1313
00:58:13,877 --> 00:58:15,008
[clapping]
Who's in?
1314
00:58:16,357 --> 00:58:20,098
My assistant, Julian,
is at the table.
1315
00:58:20,100 --> 00:58:22,187
He'll get you signed
up for our two-week,
1316
00:58:22,189 --> 00:58:24,322
life-changing, crash course.
1317
00:58:25,366 --> 00:58:26,583
Where are you going?
1318
00:58:26,585 --> 00:58:28,846
To sign up and
you're coming with me.
1319
00:58:28,848 --> 00:58:31,022
I don't want any part in this.
1320
00:58:31,024 --> 00:58:33,851
You get pushed around
by men all the time.
1321
00:58:33,853 --> 00:58:36,114
You need this just
as much as I do.
1322
00:58:36,116 --> 00:58:37,855
I do?
1323
00:58:37,857 --> 00:58:39,335
Yeah.
1324
00:58:39,337 --> 00:58:40,771
And I don't have any money.
1325
00:58:40,773 --> 00:58:42,947
I'll pay you back, I promise.
1326
00:58:42,949 --> 00:58:44,079
Gina!
1327
00:58:44,081 --> 00:58:47,388
Ally, come on,
please, I need this.
1328
00:58:48,650 --> 00:58:49,954
Did you just say please?
1329
00:58:49,956 --> 00:58:52,350
Don't be a bitch, yes, please.
1330
00:58:54,352 --> 00:58:57,266
It is worth it just to
hear you say those words.
1331
00:58:57,268 --> 00:58:58,791
[Gina] Awesome, let's go.
1332
00:58:59,879 --> 00:59:03,056
[dramatic guitar music]
1333
00:59:04,579 --> 00:59:07,060
Oh, Jack, your favorite
customer just walked in.
1334
00:59:13,937 --> 00:59:16,067
Welcome, breakfast for one?
1335
00:59:16,069 --> 00:59:18,461
Do you see anybody
else with me?
1336
00:59:18,463 --> 00:59:20,855
Well, no, but last
time you were here...
1337
00:59:20,857 --> 00:59:22,859
Just get me a coffee to go.
1338
00:59:23,860 --> 00:59:25,772
- Okay.
- Can you handle that?
1339
00:59:25,774 --> 00:59:27,035
Yes.
1340
00:59:27,037 --> 00:59:28,473
I'll be right back.
1341
00:59:35,001 --> 00:59:37,001
I see you two are
getting along quite well.
1342
00:59:37,003 --> 00:59:39,134
She is such a bitch.
1343
00:59:39,136 --> 00:59:40,439
I don't know what
crawled up her ass
1344
00:59:40,441 --> 00:59:42,311
so early this morning.
1345
00:59:42,313 --> 00:59:43,921
So why don't you
take the high road?
1346
00:59:43,923 --> 00:59:45,227
How?
1347
00:59:45,229 --> 00:59:46,750
Don't charge her
for the coffee.
1348
00:59:46,752 --> 00:59:48,012
On the house.
1349
00:59:48,014 --> 00:59:49,535
Okay, I don't see
how that's gonna help.
1350
00:59:49,537 --> 00:59:50,364
Trust me.
1351
00:59:54,020 --> 00:59:56,499
Hi, how may I help you?
1352
00:59:56,501 --> 00:59:58,109
[Jack] On the house.
1353
00:59:58,111 --> 00:59:59,458
Why?
1354
00:59:59,460 --> 01:00:02,461
Well, last time
you were in here,
1355
01:00:02,463 --> 01:00:05,551
you know, the serving skills
weren't up to par, so.
1356
01:00:05,553 --> 01:00:06,857
Aha.
1357
01:00:06,859 --> 01:00:08,076
And you look like
you could use it, too.
1358
01:00:08,078 --> 01:00:09,904
What's that supposed to mean?
1359
01:00:09,906 --> 01:00:12,428
Nothing, I mean, you just
look a little stressed.
1360
01:00:12,430 --> 01:00:14,082
Stressed?
1361
01:00:14,084 --> 01:00:14,909
Really?
1362
01:00:14,911 --> 01:00:16,084
No.
1363
01:00:16,086 --> 01:00:18,869
Nothing, sorry, just
trying to be nice.
1364
01:00:18,871 --> 01:00:21,959
Well, you need to work
on your social skills.
1365
01:00:21,961 --> 01:00:23,876
Believe me, I am.
1366
01:00:25,008 --> 01:00:27,010
Thanks for coming
in, have a nice day.
1367
01:00:28,968 --> 01:00:32,929
Look, I'll give you
a pass this time, if.
1368
01:00:33,712 --> 01:00:34,972
If?
1369
01:00:34,974 --> 01:00:37,148
If you tell me where
I can get this music
1370
01:00:37,150 --> 01:00:38,804
you guys are playing in here.
1371
01:00:39,761 --> 01:00:41,022
Oh, you can't.
1372
01:00:41,024 --> 01:00:43,763
You're not scoring
any points, dude.
1373
01:00:43,765 --> 01:00:45,940
No, I mean you can't
because it's not for sale.
1374
01:00:45,942 --> 01:00:46,986
It's my music.
1375
01:00:48,205 --> 01:00:48,988
Your music?
1376
01:00:49,989 --> 01:00:51,989
Yeah, I'm in a band.
1377
01:00:51,991 --> 01:00:53,948
Well, I was in a band.
1378
01:00:53,950 --> 01:00:57,864
I'm not anymore, but I
still love to compose music.
1379
01:00:57,866 --> 01:01:00,128
This is your music?
1380
01:01:00,130 --> 01:01:01,477
Yes.
1381
01:01:01,479 --> 01:01:02,782
Cool.
1382
01:01:02,784 --> 01:01:03,568
Very cool.
1383
01:01:04,699 --> 01:01:06,047
Thanks.
1384
01:01:06,049 --> 01:01:08,658
I can bring you a copy
next time you come in.
1385
01:01:08,660 --> 01:01:09,966
That'd be great.
1386
01:01:11,010 --> 01:01:12,533
Great, my pleasure.
1387
01:01:26,112 --> 01:01:29,374
Hey, you need to work on
your communication skills.
1388
01:01:29,376 --> 01:01:31,333
I know, I know.
1389
01:01:31,335 --> 01:01:33,117
Nice save with
the music though.
1390
01:01:33,119 --> 01:01:34,858
Yeah.
1391
01:01:34,860 --> 01:01:36,209
I didn't see that coming.
1392
01:01:39,082 --> 01:01:40,168
Men.
1393
01:01:40,170 --> 01:01:42,126
We're going to shift
into high gear.
1394
01:01:42,128 --> 01:01:45,825
In two weeks, you will
meet the competition.
1395
01:01:45,827 --> 01:01:49,916
Each of you will go head
to head with a woman
1396
01:01:49,918 --> 01:01:51,179
from A Lady's Place.
1397
01:01:51,181 --> 01:01:54,834
Uh, what's A Lady's Place?
1398
01:01:54,836 --> 01:01:56,358
Good question.
1399
01:01:56,360 --> 01:01:59,754
It's a place where women learn
to take advantage of men.
1400
01:02:00,929 --> 01:02:04,627
These women are the
reason men get divorced.
1401
01:02:04,629 --> 01:02:07,369
They give all men a bad name.
1402
01:02:07,371 --> 01:02:08,587
[chuckles]
1403
01:02:08,589 --> 01:02:10,198
What are we
gonna do, beat 'em?
1404
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:11,503
[chuckles]
1405
01:02:11,505 --> 01:02:13,418
Don't be an ass.
1406
01:02:13,420 --> 01:02:15,942
We don't condone violence here.
1407
01:02:15,944 --> 01:02:17,205
I'm kidding.
1408
01:02:17,207 --> 01:02:19,076
What do you mean by competition?
1409
01:02:19,078 --> 01:02:20,338
What's even the point?
1410
01:02:20,340 --> 01:02:22,732
The point is to
show these women
1411
01:02:22,734 --> 01:02:24,777
how a real man does things.
1412
01:02:24,779 --> 01:02:27,258
You will be tasked with
getting a date with a woman.
1413
01:02:27,260 --> 01:02:28,999
How are we gonna do that?
1414
01:02:29,001 --> 01:02:31,175
I'm glad you asked, Jack.
1415
01:02:31,177 --> 01:02:33,875
The next series of workshops
will teach you just that.
1416
01:02:34,746 --> 01:02:36,224
Chris.
1417
01:02:36,226 --> 01:02:38,228
Well, I guess that leaves
me out of the competition.
1418
01:02:39,359 --> 01:02:40,271
Why?
1419
01:02:40,273 --> 01:02:41,751
Because I'm not into women.
1420
01:02:41,753 --> 01:02:43,059
Yeah, I know.
1421
01:02:45,191 --> 01:02:47,150
You've got to get a man.
1422
01:02:48,151 --> 01:02:49,237
I can do that.
1423
01:02:49,239 --> 01:02:50,283
Anymore questions?
1424
01:02:52,590 --> 01:02:54,244
Put your big boy
britches on, men.
1425
01:02:55,158 --> 01:02:56,420
And get ready to work.
1426
01:03:01,512 --> 01:03:04,165
It looks like a
good group of ladies.
1427
01:03:04,167 --> 01:03:05,949
Well, I'm not
looking for good.
1428
01:03:05,951 --> 01:03:08,473
I need women with
killer instincts.
1429
01:03:08,475 --> 01:03:10,823
Those Mister Academy men
aren't good ol' boys.
1430
01:03:10,825 --> 01:03:13,130
Are you girls excited or what?
1431
01:03:13,132 --> 01:03:15,089
I'm ready to tear
apart some men.
1432
01:03:15,091 --> 01:03:16,829
Excuse me?
1433
01:03:16,831 --> 01:03:18,396
There'll be no
tearing apart here.
1434
01:03:18,398 --> 01:03:20,877
You haven't read
Rhonda's blogs, have you?
1435
01:03:20,879 --> 01:03:22,185
No, I haven't.
1436
01:03:23,577 --> 01:03:24,576
What do they say?
1437
01:03:24,578 --> 01:03:26,665
She's a man killer.
1438
01:03:26,667 --> 01:03:28,885
Ever since her divorce,
she's dedicated her life
1439
01:03:28,887 --> 01:03:31,977
to make sure women don't get
taken advantage of by men.
1440
01:03:33,152 --> 01:03:35,674
Well, I don't think you
have to be mean to have that.
1441
01:03:35,676 --> 01:03:37,763
You haven't had a
boyfriend lately, huh?
1442
01:03:37,765 --> 01:03:39,852
No, she hasn't.
1443
01:03:39,854 --> 01:03:40,853
I'm Gina.
1444
01:03:40,855 --> 01:03:41,985
This is Ally.
1445
01:03:41,987 --> 01:03:43,423
Maya, nice to meet you.
1446
01:03:44,381 --> 01:03:45,945
Welcome, ladies.
1447
01:03:45,947 --> 01:03:48,861
I'm very excited that you've
all decided to join in
1448
01:03:48,863 --> 01:03:51,255
on this life-changing adventure.
1449
01:03:51,257 --> 01:03:53,692
I'm Julian, Rhonda's assistant.
1450
01:03:53,694 --> 01:03:56,608
I have the privilege
of introducing to you
1451
01:03:56,610 --> 01:04:00,569
the one woman who will make
all of your dreams come true.
1452
01:04:00,571 --> 01:04:03,920
Rhonda Marie Moretti.
1453
01:04:03,922 --> 01:04:06,879
[clapping]
1454
01:04:06,881 --> 01:04:07,882
Thank you, Julian.
1455
01:04:08,666 --> 01:04:09,752
Ladies.
1456
01:04:09,754 --> 01:04:10,624
Welcome.
1457
01:04:12,148 --> 01:04:14,585
You're all here because
you're ready for a change.
1458
01:04:16,152 --> 01:04:19,022
So I'm not gonna bullshit
you with a long speech.
1459
01:04:19,024 --> 01:04:21,503
Because now's not the time
for bullshit speeches.
1460
01:04:21,505 --> 01:04:23,115
It's the time for action.
1461
01:04:24,290 --> 01:04:28,338
These next two weeks,
they're all about action.
1462
01:04:29,208 --> 01:04:32,166
You're gonna learn
how to handle,
1463
01:04:32,168 --> 01:04:37,173
subdue, acquire, and
take control of a man.
1464
01:04:39,349 --> 01:04:40,261
Yes, whoo!
1465
01:04:40,263 --> 01:04:41,914
[clapping]
Whoo, yes!
1466
01:04:41,916 --> 01:04:43,960
There you go, yeah, baby!
1467
01:04:43,962 --> 01:04:48,878
That, that, that
right there, ladies,
1468
01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:50,227
is what you're all gonna need,
1469
01:04:50,229 --> 01:04:52,577
that enthusiasm, that gusto.
1470
01:04:52,579 --> 01:04:54,666
You're gonna need it to succeed.
1471
01:04:54,668 --> 01:04:57,930
We're not the weaker sex.
1472
01:04:57,932 --> 01:05:00,803
We are the stronger one.
1473
01:05:00,805 --> 01:05:03,109
By the end of these two weeks,
1474
01:05:03,111 --> 01:05:05,764
you'll learn just how
to become that woman.
1475
01:05:05,766 --> 01:05:08,463
I think Maya needs to
lay off the caffeine.
1476
01:05:08,465 --> 01:05:10,639
I don't think this is
the place for me, Gina.
1477
01:05:10,641 --> 01:05:12,293
Rhonda sounds angry.
1478
01:05:12,295 --> 01:05:14,120
Well, I don't blame her.
1479
01:05:14,122 --> 01:05:16,079
She should sound angry.
1480
01:05:16,081 --> 01:05:17,385
Men suck.
1481
01:05:17,387 --> 01:05:19,650
Come see Julian for
your class schedules.
1482
01:05:23,654 --> 01:05:26,045
Recognizing a Loser.
1483
01:05:26,047 --> 01:05:28,700
I needed that before my
first and second marriage.
1484
01:05:28,702 --> 01:05:31,399
How to Keep Your Man Hard?
1485
01:05:31,401 --> 01:05:33,749
I needed that
before my last date.
1486
01:05:33,751 --> 01:05:35,927
Mr. Softie was such a loser.
1487
01:05:37,972 --> 01:05:42,281
Oh, How to Take Control
and Keep Your Legs Closed.
1488
01:05:43,413 --> 01:05:45,893
I got a bad feeling
about all of this.
1489
01:05:46,720 --> 01:05:48,024
What's going on, boss?
1490
01:05:48,026 --> 01:05:50,246
Why the emergency meeting?
1491
01:05:51,812 --> 01:05:53,725
I just wanted you guys
to know what's at stakes
1492
01:05:53,727 --> 01:05:56,293
with A Lady's Place competition.
1493
01:05:56,295 --> 01:05:58,556
What do you mean, it's
not the same as last year?
1494
01:05:58,558 --> 01:05:59,905
No.
1495
01:05:59,907 --> 01:06:02,604
Rhonda has raised
the stakes higher.
1496
01:06:02,606 --> 01:06:03,822
[Vinny] How high?
1497
01:06:03,824 --> 01:06:07,478
If we lose, we
close Mister Academy.
1498
01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:08,392
What the hell?
1499
01:06:08,394 --> 01:06:10,002
Bruno, are you crazy, man?
1500
01:06:10,004 --> 01:06:11,743
No, just confident.
1501
01:06:11,745 --> 01:06:14,398
You have not seen these
guys, these guys are pathetic.
1502
01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:16,879
Yeah, what a bunch of losers.
1503
01:06:16,881 --> 01:06:18,315
Step it up, guys.
1504
01:06:18,317 --> 01:06:21,364
We ain't losin', and I'm
not closing this place down.
1505
01:06:22,887 --> 01:06:24,365
Now.
1506
01:06:24,367 --> 01:06:26,238
What's Tino teaching 'em today?
1507
01:06:27,108 --> 01:06:28,022
Proper grooming.
1508
01:06:30,373 --> 01:06:32,373
I thought we weren't
gonna teach them that?
1509
01:06:32,375 --> 01:06:35,289
You guys remember what
happened to the guy last time.
1510
01:06:35,291 --> 01:06:38,335
Yeah, but he didn't lose
any of his family Jules.
1511
01:06:38,337 --> 01:06:41,338
He just can't feel one anymore.
1512
01:06:41,340 --> 01:06:45,039
Jeez, Vinny, call the medic
and have him on standby.
1513
01:06:51,916 --> 01:06:56,703
Now, remember, gentlemen,
the tree always appears taller
1514
01:06:58,096 --> 01:07:00,446
when the bushes are trimmed.
1515
01:07:01,229 --> 01:07:02,359
That's right.
1516
01:07:02,361 --> 01:07:06,713
A woman appreciates
a well-groomed man.
1517
01:07:08,193 --> 01:07:10,715
Excuse me, uh, I think
I'm gonna skip this lesson.
1518
01:07:10,717 --> 01:07:13,414
Oh, don't be scared,
little buckaroo.
1519
01:07:13,416 --> 01:07:14,980
Oh, I'm not scared.
1520
01:07:14,982 --> 01:07:16,504
Then what's the problem?
1521
01:07:16,506 --> 01:07:18,812
Come on, Chris, if I'm
doing this, so are you.
1522
01:07:25,341 --> 01:07:26,949
I just got my monthly waxing.
1523
01:07:26,951 --> 01:07:28,298
Damn.
1524
01:07:28,300 --> 01:07:30,256
Smoother than a
newborn's bottom.
1525
01:07:30,258 --> 01:07:31,085
Thank you.
1526
01:07:32,260 --> 01:07:36,219
Okay, you are excused
from this exercise.
1527
01:07:36,221 --> 01:07:38,482
And write down the
name of your waxer.
1528
01:07:38,484 --> 01:07:40,312
I'm looking for somebody new.
1529
01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:43,705
Everybody else,
gather your materials
1530
01:07:43,707 --> 01:07:47,404
and please proceed to your
stalls in the next room.
1531
01:07:47,406 --> 01:07:51,539
And remember, gentlemen,
this is not a race.
1532
01:07:51,541 --> 01:07:53,497
Take your time.
1533
01:07:53,499 --> 01:07:55,806
Be careful.
1534
01:07:57,416 --> 01:07:59,329
Please don't
open your bags yet,
1535
01:07:59,331 --> 01:08:02,203
Rhonda will explain
what to do, thank you.
1536
01:08:03,074 --> 01:08:05,640
[clearing throat]
1537
01:08:05,642 --> 01:08:10,471
Please don't open the bag yet.
1538
01:08:10,473 --> 01:08:11,343
Thank you.
1539
01:08:16,435 --> 01:08:19,873
Gina, put the bag down
before you break what's inside.
1540
01:08:21,048 --> 01:08:22,613
You worry too much, girl.
1541
01:08:22,615 --> 01:08:24,746
Ladies, your
attention, please.
1542
01:08:24,748 --> 01:08:25,703
I'm so excited.
1543
01:08:25,705 --> 01:08:27,401
[giggling]
1544
01:08:27,403 --> 01:08:29,054
We'll get to what's in your
goodie bags in just a minute.
1545
01:08:29,056 --> 01:08:30,534
Pay attention, Gina.
1546
01:08:30,536 --> 01:08:32,014
Yes, mother.
1547
01:08:32,016 --> 01:08:34,973
What is one reason why
you failed at getting a man?
1548
01:08:34,975 --> 01:08:36,540
Oh, oh, I know.
1549
01:08:36,542 --> 01:08:37,759
[Rhonda] Okay.
1550
01:08:37,761 --> 01:08:39,674
Because I picked a
big old douchebag, yeah.
1551
01:08:39,676 --> 01:08:41,023
[giggling]
1552
01:08:41,025 --> 01:08:44,330
Yes, yes, that is
probably one reason.
1553
01:08:44,332 --> 01:08:45,203
Anybody else?
1554
01:08:46,291 --> 01:08:48,596
I let my girlfriends
pick my dates.
1555
01:08:48,598 --> 01:08:52,904
Yes, yes, yes, the
inevitable blind date.
1556
01:08:52,906 --> 01:08:56,647
Uh, I didn't have
a plan of attack.
1557
01:08:56,649 --> 01:08:58,564
Yes, yes, yes, that's it.
1558
01:08:59,565 --> 01:09:00,434
What's your name?
1559
01:09:00,436 --> 01:09:01,347
Maya.
1560
01:09:01,349 --> 01:09:02,392
You've been reading my blog?
1561
01:09:02,394 --> 01:09:03,393
Yes.
1562
01:09:03,395 --> 01:09:05,439
I read them every week.
1563
01:09:05,441 --> 01:09:08,572
You are amazing, I love you.
1564
01:09:08,574 --> 01:09:10,182
Suck up.
1565
01:09:10,184 --> 01:09:14,448
When was the last time
that you went on vacation
1566
01:09:14,450 --> 01:09:16,452
and you didn't have a plan?
1567
01:09:17,975 --> 01:09:19,365
Do you just, I don't know,
get up in the mornings,
1568
01:09:19,367 --> 01:09:21,411
walk out the door and not know
1569
01:09:21,413 --> 01:09:22,673
what you're going to
do during the day?
1570
01:09:22,675 --> 01:09:25,023
Yeah, like every day.
1571
01:09:25,025 --> 01:09:26,503
[Rhonda] Gina, right?
1572
01:09:26,505 --> 01:09:27,939
Yeah, good memory.
1573
01:09:27,941 --> 01:09:30,812
How do those days
normally turn out for you?
1574
01:09:30,814 --> 01:09:32,161
Be honest.
1575
01:09:32,163 --> 01:09:33,510
Pretty shitty, actually.
1576
01:09:33,512 --> 01:09:35,077
Exactly.
1577
01:09:35,079 --> 01:09:37,601
And that is how your
date will turn out
1578
01:09:37,603 --> 01:09:39,692
if you don't have
a plan of attack.
1579
01:09:40,563 --> 01:09:42,476
The goodie bags in front of you,
1580
01:09:42,478 --> 01:09:45,304
they're part of
your attack plan.
1581
01:09:45,306 --> 01:09:48,525
So go ahead and look
inside, pull out each item,
1582
01:09:48,527 --> 01:09:50,311
lay it on the table
in front of you.
1583
01:09:54,533 --> 01:09:56,228
Oh, this is nice.
1584
01:09:56,230 --> 01:09:58,624
Uh, that's not for your hands.
1585
01:10:00,365 --> 01:10:01,148
Oh.
1586
01:10:02,323 --> 01:10:04,672
Um, what are the
white pills for?
1587
01:10:04,674 --> 01:10:06,369
Oh, yes, yes.
1588
01:10:06,371 --> 01:10:09,503
That is my favorite
item in the bag.
1589
01:10:09,505 --> 01:10:13,550
This, ladies, this is
your most powerful weapon
1590
01:10:13,552 --> 01:10:14,771
to gain control of a man.
1591
01:10:15,859 --> 01:10:17,598
The boner pill.
1592
01:10:17,600 --> 01:10:18,990
[giggling]
1593
01:10:18,992 --> 01:10:22,080
Excuse me, these really
are to help the guy,
1594
01:10:22,082 --> 01:10:23,386
so how does it help me?
1595
01:10:23,388 --> 01:10:25,431
That's, that's true.
1596
01:10:25,433 --> 01:10:27,651
Just not how I would use them.
1597
01:10:27,653 --> 01:10:28,957
Have you ever been with a man
1598
01:10:28,959 --> 01:10:30,524
who's had trouble
getting an erection?
1599
01:10:30,526 --> 01:10:32,482
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
1600
01:10:32,484 --> 01:10:35,790
The key to control is to
just take one of these babies
1601
01:10:35,792 --> 01:10:37,966
and just slip it into
your date's drink.
1602
01:10:37,968 --> 01:10:40,359
But why would I
want to do that?
1603
01:10:40,361 --> 01:10:43,145
Because there's
nothing more controlling
1604
01:10:43,147 --> 01:10:46,844
than an unsatisfied, hard dick.
1605
01:10:46,846 --> 01:10:49,325
[chuckling]
1606
01:10:49,327 --> 01:10:51,501
Yeah, he gets hard.
1607
01:10:51,503 --> 01:10:52,460
You know it.
1608
01:10:53,853 --> 01:10:57,681
You tease him and then you
leave him, unsatisfied.
1609
01:10:57,683 --> 01:10:59,814
[giggling]
1610
01:10:59,816 --> 01:11:02,512
That is just not very nice.
1611
01:11:02,514 --> 01:11:05,384
Well, this is not
about being nice.
1612
01:11:05,386 --> 01:11:08,128
This about taking
control of the situation.
1613
01:11:10,478 --> 01:11:11,695
Okay.
1614
01:11:11,697 --> 01:11:12,959
Let's talk about
the handcuffs next.
1615
01:11:15,092 --> 01:11:16,702
Okay, gentlemen.
1616
01:11:18,486 --> 01:11:20,878
Inspection time.
1617
01:11:20,880 --> 01:11:23,187
Get ready to drop your shorts.
1618
01:11:26,190 --> 01:11:27,017
And.
1619
01:11:29,541 --> 01:11:30,368
Mm-hm.
1620
01:11:33,197 --> 01:11:34,024
Hmm.
1621
01:11:37,114 --> 01:11:37,941
Hm, nice.
1622
01:11:40,117 --> 01:11:40,944
Ooh.
1623
01:11:42,685 --> 01:11:44,208
Is something wrong?
1624
01:11:46,384 --> 01:11:47,211
No.
1625
01:11:48,647 --> 01:11:50,299
Nicely done.
1626
01:11:50,301 --> 01:11:53,783
Just make sure you get lots
of aloe down there tonight.
1627
01:11:54,740 --> 01:11:55,785
Why?
1628
01:11:56,873 --> 01:11:59,049
Trust me, don't forget.
1629
01:12:02,879 --> 01:12:03,662
Mm-hm.
1630
01:12:05,490 --> 01:12:06,273
Mm.
1631
01:12:08,058 --> 01:12:08,885
Okay.
1632
01:12:10,364 --> 01:12:13,539
Oh, and that goes for everyone
else as well, gentlemen.
1633
01:12:13,541 --> 01:12:17,239
Aloe vera, your best friend.
1634
01:12:17,241 --> 01:12:20,372
Okay, nice job, everyone.
1635
01:12:20,374 --> 01:12:21,635
That's it for tonight.
1636
01:12:21,637 --> 01:12:25,508
Tomorrow, we will
work on pick up lines.
1637
01:12:25,510 --> 01:12:27,077
Thank you, goodnight.
1638
01:12:37,130 --> 01:12:39,740
That is some razor burn, dude.
1639
01:12:39,742 --> 01:12:41,567
That's why I get waxed.
1640
01:12:41,569 --> 01:12:43,528
Doesn't feel like razor burn.
1641
01:12:45,269 --> 01:12:47,661
Ouch, that is a little tender.
1642
01:12:47,663 --> 01:12:50,100
Yeah, aloe, lots
and lots of aloe.
1643
01:12:51,405 --> 01:12:54,147
[dramatic music]
1644
01:12:56,628 --> 01:12:58,891
[chattering]
1645
01:13:00,676 --> 01:13:02,110
Evening, ladies.
1646
01:13:02,112 --> 01:13:03,679
What can I get for you today?
1647
01:13:04,767 --> 01:13:05,591
Are you okay, Jack?
1648
01:13:05,593 --> 01:13:06,941
Oh, I'm fine.
1649
01:13:06,943 --> 01:13:08,551
Why?
1650
01:13:08,553 --> 01:13:09,900
You're walking like
you've got a bowling ball
1651
01:13:09,902 --> 01:13:11,685
between your legs.
1652
01:13:11,687 --> 01:13:14,818
Just sunburn, forgot the aloe.
1653
01:13:14,820 --> 01:13:15,689
[giggling]
1654
01:13:15,691 --> 01:13:16,733
Coffee?
1655
01:13:16,735 --> 01:13:18,517
Uh, yes, please.
1656
01:13:18,519 --> 01:13:19,651
Yes, and water.
1657
01:13:22,393 --> 01:13:24,872
I brought you that
CD I promised you.
1658
01:13:24,874 --> 01:13:26,702
I hope you like it.
1659
01:13:27,746 --> 01:13:28,963
Thanks, Jack.
1660
01:13:28,965 --> 01:13:29,792
My pleasure.
1661
01:13:31,010 --> 01:13:33,707
So, Laura's gonna be
taking over for me.
1662
01:13:33,709 --> 01:13:35,058
I gotta get to my second job.
1663
01:13:40,498 --> 01:13:42,541
[laughing]
1664
01:13:42,543 --> 01:13:45,240
That was very nice of Jack.
1665
01:13:45,242 --> 01:13:46,722
Jack's pretty cool.
1666
01:13:47,461 --> 01:13:48,767
Pretty cool?
1667
01:13:49,768 --> 01:13:51,899
You like him, don't you?
1668
01:13:51,901 --> 01:13:54,379
Quit it, I'm just
being nice to him.
1669
01:13:54,381 --> 01:13:56,860
No, the last guy you
were nice to, you married.
1670
01:13:56,862 --> 01:14:00,385
Look, I'm learning
not to be fooled by men.
1671
01:14:00,387 --> 01:14:02,779
Some guys are just nice.
1672
01:14:02,781 --> 01:14:04,825
Don't let your last two
ex-husbands convince you
1673
01:14:04,827 --> 01:14:06,002
that all guys are bad.
1674
01:14:08,395 --> 01:14:09,873
What are you doing?
1675
01:14:09,875 --> 01:14:12,267
Studying for tonight's test.
1676
01:14:12,269 --> 01:14:15,139
Worst pick-up lines
review and test.
1677
01:14:15,141 --> 01:14:17,533
You're taking Rhonda's
message seriously?
1678
01:14:17,535 --> 01:14:19,883
She's got her shit together.
1679
01:14:19,885 --> 01:14:21,363
Don't you think?
1680
01:14:21,365 --> 01:14:23,802
No, I think she's
a bitter woman.
1681
01:14:26,979 --> 01:14:28,067
Excuse me, miss.
1682
01:14:28,938 --> 01:14:30,415
Yeah?
1683
01:14:30,417 --> 01:14:32,809
Are you related
to my keyboard?
1684
01:14:32,811 --> 01:14:34,376
No, why?
1685
01:14:34,378 --> 01:14:36,117
Because you're just my type.
1686
01:14:36,119 --> 01:14:37,947
Get the hell out of here.
1687
01:14:51,961 --> 01:14:52,788
What's that?
1688
01:14:57,923 --> 01:14:59,011
For you.
1689
01:15:18,117 --> 01:15:18,944
Wow.
1690
01:15:20,511 --> 01:15:24,339
Thank you.
1691
01:15:24,341 --> 01:15:25,168
You're welcome.
1692
01:15:32,001 --> 01:15:32,828
Hey.
1693
01:15:33,959 --> 01:15:35,961
A whole ten dollars, huh?
1694
01:15:37,093 --> 01:15:39,922
[camera clicking]
1695
01:15:43,882 --> 01:15:45,490
Can I help you?
1696
01:15:45,492 --> 01:15:47,059
You get some good pictures?
1697
01:15:48,104 --> 01:15:49,668
I don't know what
you're talking about.
1698
01:15:49,670 --> 01:15:50,887
Yeah, you see, I
got a good friend
1699
01:15:50,889 --> 01:15:52,497
that likes to take
pictures, too.
1700
01:15:52,499 --> 01:15:55,152
And he's real good at
getting just the right angle.
1701
01:15:55,154 --> 01:15:55,938
Yeah, here.
1702
01:15:57,504 --> 01:15:58,331
Take a look.
1703
01:16:01,291 --> 01:16:02,594
Mm?
1704
01:16:02,596 --> 01:16:03,769
You know, I think
your wife would love
1705
01:16:03,771 --> 01:16:04,990
to see these
pictures, don't you?
1706
01:16:06,470 --> 01:16:07,384
What do you want?
1707
01:16:08,341 --> 01:16:09,168
Nothing.
1708
01:16:10,996 --> 01:16:11,952
Should I send her a copy?
1709
01:16:11,954 --> 01:16:13,605
[Man] No.
1710
01:16:13,607 --> 01:16:15,738
Yeah, that's what I thought.
1711
01:16:15,740 --> 01:16:17,218
I don't expect to see
you around here again,
1712
01:16:17,220 --> 01:16:18,349
you understand me?
1713
01:16:18,351 --> 01:16:20,917
Yeah, I do.
1714
01:16:20,919 --> 01:16:22,007
Good.
1715
01:16:23,226 --> 01:16:24,792
Now get the hell outta here.
1716
01:16:29,536 --> 01:16:31,928
I'm so proud of all of you.
1717
01:16:31,930 --> 01:16:35,192
You've worked really hard
over the last two weeks.
1718
01:16:35,194 --> 01:16:38,587
Tomorrow night, you get
to meet your competition.
1719
01:16:38,589 --> 01:16:40,502
You get to take
what you've learned
1720
01:16:40,504 --> 01:16:42,027
and put it into practice.
1721
01:16:42,941 --> 01:16:44,767
So who's ready to
go into battle?
1722
01:16:44,769 --> 01:16:45,986
[cheering and clapping]
1723
01:16:45,988 --> 01:16:46,858
Battle?
1724
01:16:47,728 --> 01:16:48,902
Bring it on!
1725
01:16:48,904 --> 01:16:50,688
I'm ready to get this shit on!
1726
01:16:52,951 --> 01:16:54,516
Yes, you've got it!
1727
01:16:54,518 --> 01:16:58,174
Men, I have heard you are
the best group we've ever had.
1728
01:17:00,959 --> 01:17:04,047
You're gonna need to be
to beat the ruthlessness
1729
01:17:04,049 --> 01:17:06,180
of the women from
the Lady's Place.
1730
01:17:06,182 --> 01:17:08,793
They will not play by the rules.
1731
01:17:09,968 --> 01:17:12,928
They will go straight
for your balls to win.
1732
01:17:14,799 --> 01:17:16,842
Believe me, I know them.
1733
01:17:16,844 --> 01:17:21,153
They will not stop until they
have beaten us to a pulp.
1734
01:17:22,589 --> 01:17:26,113
Tomorrow night, these
ladies will join us,
1735
01:17:26,115 --> 01:17:29,551
so, men, get a good night's rest
1736
01:17:29,553 --> 01:17:33,120
and get ready to kick
some lovely asses.
1737
01:17:33,122 --> 01:17:35,296
[cheering and clapping]
1738
01:17:35,298 --> 01:17:37,996
[dramatic music]
1739
01:17:51,749 --> 01:17:53,096
Hey, buddy, can
I get you a beer?
1740
01:17:53,098 --> 01:17:55,971
No, I want to be sharp
for tomorrow night.
1741
01:17:58,147 --> 01:17:59,755
About that.
1742
01:17:59,757 --> 01:18:02,018
Are you sure you still want
to go through with this?
1743
01:18:02,020 --> 01:18:03,324
Are you shitting me?
1744
01:18:03,326 --> 01:18:04,978
Yes.
1745
01:18:04,980 --> 01:18:06,588
[Chris] But you don't even
know what they want you to do.
1746
01:18:06,590 --> 01:18:09,373
I figure we'll practice what
we learned with these women.
1747
01:18:09,375 --> 01:18:10,679
I don't know.
1748
01:18:10,681 --> 01:18:12,986
We've learned some
pretty stupid shit.
1749
01:18:12,988 --> 01:18:14,378
Stupid?
1750
01:18:14,380 --> 01:18:17,775
How to talk to a
woman is not stupid.
1751
01:18:19,951 --> 01:18:22,171
I'm finally getting
used to these razors.
1752
01:18:23,999 --> 01:18:27,130
Did you know they make
ball-sized band-aids?
1753
01:18:27,132 --> 01:18:29,132
Yeah, I know.
1754
01:18:29,134 --> 01:18:32,092
Hey, I just didn't want you to
be disappointed, that's all.
1755
01:18:32,094 --> 01:18:33,223
Dude, you're the
one who told me
1756
01:18:33,225 --> 01:18:35,051
I didn't know how
to treat a woman.
1757
01:18:35,053 --> 01:18:38,533
How will I ever get Sheila
back if I don't learn how to?
1758
01:18:38,535 --> 01:18:41,188
Is that what you think
you've been learning?
1759
01:18:41,190 --> 01:18:42,276
Look.
1760
01:18:42,278 --> 01:18:43,712
You and Sheila, you
just grew apart.
1761
01:18:43,714 --> 01:18:45,018
It happens.
1762
01:18:45,020 --> 01:18:47,194
I didn't know
how to treat her.
1763
01:18:47,196 --> 01:18:50,414
I didn't know what it was
like to be a good husband.
1764
01:18:50,416 --> 01:18:52,068
Why are you messing with me?
1765
01:18:52,070 --> 01:18:54,157
I'm finally getting
my life together.
1766
01:18:54,159 --> 01:18:55,030
I'm sorry.
1767
01:18:55,856 --> 01:18:57,378
You've been working really hard.
1768
01:18:57,380 --> 01:19:00,296
I even saved up enough
money to get my own place.
1769
01:19:04,082 --> 01:19:08,084
Really, that's,
that's great, I guess.
1770
01:19:08,086 --> 01:19:10,739
I thought you'd be
happy to get rid of me.
1771
01:19:10,741 --> 01:19:12,262
Nah, man, to be honest,
1772
01:19:12,264 --> 01:19:14,136
I kinda got used to
you being around.
1773
01:19:15,615 --> 01:19:17,789
You're a different man than
when you first moved in with me.
1774
01:19:17,791 --> 01:19:19,095
See?
1775
01:19:19,097 --> 01:19:20,096
It's all because
of Mister Academy.
1776
01:19:20,098 --> 01:19:21,924
Okay, okay.
1777
01:19:21,926 --> 01:19:23,404
Look, I'm going to bed.
1778
01:19:23,406 --> 01:19:24,233
Night, Jackie.
1779
01:19:25,451 --> 01:19:26,278
Night, buddy.
1780
01:19:29,194 --> 01:19:32,328
[gentle piano music]
1781
01:19:37,594 --> 01:19:39,115
What are they doing here?
1782
01:19:39,117 --> 01:19:40,247
Who?
1783
01:19:40,249 --> 01:19:42,118
[Jack] Gina and Ally.
1784
01:19:42,120 --> 01:19:43,250
You know them?
1785
01:19:43,252 --> 01:19:44,468
They're regulars
at the restaurant.
1786
01:19:44,470 --> 01:19:46,253
I told you about Gina.
1787
01:19:46,255 --> 01:19:48,124
Oh, that bitch customer.
1788
01:19:48,126 --> 01:19:50,213
She's not a bitch,
really, it's just,
1789
01:19:50,215 --> 01:19:52,172
she's tough on the outside.
1790
01:19:52,174 --> 01:19:53,608
So you like her?
1791
01:19:53,610 --> 01:19:54,739
No.
1792
01:19:54,741 --> 01:19:55,568
No?
1793
01:19:56,700 --> 01:19:58,091
Well, she's nice.
1794
01:19:58,093 --> 01:20:00,093
But I don't like her.
1795
01:20:00,095 --> 01:20:02,749
Oh, so you like her but
you don't really like her.
1796
01:20:04,055 --> 01:20:05,272
Exactly.
1797
01:20:05,274 --> 01:20:06,099
Okay.
1798
01:20:06,101 --> 01:20:07,276
Whatever you say, man.
1799
01:20:08,755 --> 01:20:09,887
I'll be right back.
1800
01:20:21,203 --> 01:20:23,203
[Julian] Ladies,
ladies, ladies.
1801
01:20:23,205 --> 01:20:24,247
Jack?
1802
01:20:24,249 --> 01:20:25,118
[Jack] Gina.
1803
01:20:25,120 --> 01:20:27,207
What are you doing here?
1804
01:20:27,209 --> 01:20:29,470
I could ask you
the same thing.
1805
01:20:29,472 --> 01:20:32,255
Wait, are you a student
at the Lady's Place?
1806
01:20:32,257 --> 01:20:33,169
Yeah.
1807
01:20:33,171 --> 01:20:34,562
Wait.
1808
01:20:34,564 --> 01:20:37,173
Do you go to that male
chauvinist Mister Academy?
1809
01:20:37,175 --> 01:20:38,566
Male chauvinist?
1810
01:20:38,568 --> 01:20:40,350
Yeah, that's what Rhonda said.
1811
01:20:40,352 --> 01:20:41,743
Who the hell is Rhonda?
1812
01:20:41,745 --> 01:20:42,833
My teacher.
1813
01:20:44,139 --> 01:20:46,226
Yeah, well, well, Bruno says
1814
01:20:46,228 --> 01:20:48,663
you guys are just a bunch
of ball-busting bitches.
1815
01:20:48,665 --> 01:20:50,186
Ball-busting?
1816
01:20:50,188 --> 01:20:52,319
And I thought you
were a nice guy.
1817
01:20:52,321 --> 01:20:55,846
Yeah, well, obviously I
know who you really are.
1818
01:20:59,197 --> 01:21:01,023
I was really starting
to like that guy.
1819
01:21:01,025 --> 01:21:02,242
And now you don't?
1820
01:21:02,244 --> 01:21:04,679
He goes to Mister Academy.
1821
01:21:04,681 --> 01:21:07,247
He was probably just
using me for some project.
1822
01:21:07,249 --> 01:21:08,857
[Ally] Gina, you
don't know that.
1823
01:21:08,859 --> 01:21:11,164
My instincts are spot on.
1824
01:21:11,166 --> 01:21:13,340
Says the twice divorced woman.
1825
01:21:13,342 --> 01:21:14,212
Shut it.
1826
01:21:19,217 --> 01:21:20,349
Well, how'd that go?
1827
01:21:21,393 --> 01:21:23,741
I don't want to talk about it.
1828
01:21:23,743 --> 01:21:25,090
Bitch.
1829
01:21:25,092 --> 01:21:26,483
I thought you said
she wasn't a bitch.
1830
01:21:26,485 --> 01:21:27,310
[Jack] Well, I was wrong.
1831
01:21:27,312 --> 01:21:28,835
Okay, flipper.
1832
01:21:30,185 --> 01:21:31,662
Wait.
1833
01:21:31,664 --> 01:21:33,229
Who's that beauty?
1834
01:21:33,231 --> 01:21:34,491
Who are you looking at?
1835
01:21:34,493 --> 01:21:36,145
That guy right there.
1836
01:21:36,147 --> 01:21:38,843
I'm in crisis mode and
you're scoping out a dude?
1837
01:21:38,845 --> 01:21:41,890
Look, I'm just trying to put
what I learned to good use.
1838
01:21:41,892 --> 01:21:42,719
Excuse me.
1839
01:21:52,816 --> 01:21:55,208
Hey, you look like you've
been working really hard.
1840
01:21:55,210 --> 01:21:56,774
Here you go.
1841
01:21:56,776 --> 01:21:58,254
Thanks.
1842
01:21:58,256 --> 01:21:59,301
Yeah, my name's Chris.
1843
01:22:00,258 --> 01:22:01,301
Jules.
1844
01:22:01,303 --> 01:22:02,998
Ugh, Julian.
1845
01:22:03,000 --> 01:22:05,653
Damn it, Rhonda's got
me saying it, too.
1846
01:22:05,655 --> 01:22:06,871
What, Jules?
1847
01:22:06,873 --> 01:22:08,351
I mean, I like
that, it suits you.
1848
01:22:08,353 --> 01:22:09,702
I mean, you do sparkle.
1849
01:22:10,921 --> 01:22:11,748
Thank you.
1850
01:22:13,228 --> 01:22:14,314
[Chris] So you're the,
1851
01:22:14,316 --> 01:22:15,793
you're the main guy
in charge, right?
1852
01:22:15,795 --> 01:22:17,708
Oh, no, no, no, god, no.
1853
01:22:17,710 --> 01:22:19,275
I'm just the assistant.
1854
01:22:19,277 --> 01:22:20,929
Oh, well, the way you've
been working this room
1855
01:22:20,931 --> 01:22:23,238
I just figured that
you were the main man.
1856
01:22:24,151 --> 01:22:25,238
It was nice talking to you.
1857
01:22:25,240 --> 01:22:27,283
Uh, you too.
1858
01:22:27,285 --> 01:22:28,330
Thanks.
1859
01:22:31,071 --> 01:22:32,375
[Jack] You get his number?
1860
01:22:32,377 --> 01:22:35,378
Nope, just laying the
ground work, my friend.
1861
01:22:35,380 --> 01:22:37,252
Just laying the ground work.
1862
01:22:38,644 --> 01:22:39,643
[Bruno] Rhonda.
1863
01:22:39,645 --> 01:22:40,472
Bruno.
1864
01:22:42,300 --> 01:22:44,387
How do you want to do this?
1865
01:22:44,389 --> 01:22:45,736
Same as always.
1866
01:22:45,738 --> 01:22:48,043
Just spare me the
motivational speech.
1867
01:22:48,045 --> 01:22:49,523
My guys love it.
1868
01:22:49,525 --> 01:22:50,352
Doubtful.
1869
01:22:51,962 --> 01:22:54,441
Ladies, guys, we're
about to get started,
1870
01:22:54,443 --> 01:22:56,401
so, please find your
way to your seats.
1871
01:22:57,576 --> 01:23:01,274
Welcome to our annual
school competition.
1872
01:23:01,276 --> 01:23:04,929
This is our fifth year running
our friendly competition.
1873
01:23:04,931 --> 01:23:06,366
Yes.
1874
01:23:06,368 --> 01:23:08,324
And this is a very
important year.
1875
01:23:08,326 --> 01:23:09,675
The tie-breaking year.
1876
01:23:11,503 --> 01:23:13,634
For your assignments,
1877
01:23:13,636 --> 01:23:17,202
you'll each be paired up with
someone from the other school.
1878
01:23:17,204 --> 01:23:20,075
Time to take what you've
learned, put it into practice.
1879
01:23:20,077 --> 01:23:23,298
The goal is to get a date with
someone that you don't know.
1880
01:23:24,255 --> 01:23:25,733
Simple, right?
1881
01:23:25,735 --> 01:23:27,389
School with the most dates wins.
1882
01:23:28,781 --> 01:23:32,783
There's no limit,
the number of dates.
1883
01:23:32,785 --> 01:23:36,352
However, each date has to
be with a different person.
1884
01:23:36,354 --> 01:23:38,311
It's not about quality.
1885
01:23:38,313 --> 01:23:39,964
It's about quantity.
1886
01:23:39,966 --> 01:23:40,837
Besides,
1887
01:23:42,186 --> 01:23:44,447
you won't find much
quality out there.
1888
01:23:44,449 --> 01:23:46,362
[giggling]
[clapping]
1889
01:23:46,364 --> 01:23:47,581
[Woman] Boo.
1890
01:23:47,583 --> 01:23:50,888
You know, Bruno's
right, ladies.
1891
01:23:50,890 --> 01:23:53,891
There aren't many
quality men out there.
1892
01:23:53,893 --> 01:23:57,373
[giggling]
[booing]
1893
01:23:57,375 --> 01:23:59,288
Please see Julian and Tino.
1894
01:23:59,290 --> 01:24:01,336
They'll let you know who
you've been paired up with.
1895
01:24:10,475 --> 01:24:11,822
You're so going down.
1896
01:24:11,824 --> 01:24:13,607
You're going down, bitch.
1897
01:24:13,609 --> 01:24:15,435
Is that how it's gonna be?
1898
01:24:15,437 --> 01:24:18,178
- You fuck...
- No need to get foul-mouthed.
1899
01:24:18,962 --> 01:24:20,485
It's not gonna help you win.
1900
01:24:22,182 --> 01:24:23,009
Go on.
1901
01:24:24,968 --> 01:24:25,795
Good luck.
1902
01:24:28,014 --> 01:24:29,362
[Julian] It looks
like we're out of names.
1903
01:24:29,364 --> 01:24:30,972
No, wait a minute,
that's not right.
1904
01:24:30,974 --> 01:24:33,496
We, I thought we had
enough for everyone to be
1905
01:24:33,498 --> 01:24:34,758
evenly paired up.
1906
01:24:34,760 --> 01:24:36,456
We're out.
1907
01:24:36,458 --> 01:24:38,460
Well, how about I
pair up with Jules?
1908
01:24:39,852 --> 01:24:41,591
That's not appropriate.
1909
01:24:41,593 --> 01:24:44,551
Why not, I mean, he's not
a part of Mister Academy.
1910
01:24:44,553 --> 01:24:47,031
What do you say, Jules, you
ready to go head to head?
1911
01:24:47,033 --> 01:24:48,293
I don't know.
1912
01:24:48,295 --> 01:24:50,557
How's your stamina,
can you keep up?
1913
01:24:50,559 --> 01:24:51,951
Like Superman.
1914
01:24:54,301 --> 01:24:56,824
All right, Tino, I think
we can make this work.
1915
01:24:56,826 --> 01:24:58,741
I accept your challenge.
1916
01:24:59,524 --> 01:25:00,871
Fine.
1917
01:25:00,873 --> 01:25:03,918
But if Bruno asks,
it was your idea.
1918
01:25:03,920 --> 01:25:05,180
Tino, I hope you don't mind.
1919
01:25:05,182 --> 01:25:07,008
I mean, I know we had
a connection, but,
1920
01:25:07,010 --> 01:25:08,183
well, you know.
1921
01:25:08,185 --> 01:25:09,793
I understand.
1922
01:25:09,795 --> 01:25:12,840
You'll just have to
remain in my dreams.
1923
01:25:12,842 --> 01:25:15,410
If I had a dollar for
every time I heard that.
1924
01:25:18,587 --> 01:25:21,544
You are getting
soft in your old age.
1925
01:25:21,546 --> 01:25:23,372
Don't you say it.
1926
01:25:23,374 --> 01:25:26,551
'Specially if you value
your family Jules.
1927
01:25:27,900 --> 01:25:29,380
I take it back.
1928
01:25:30,207 --> 01:25:31,034
Smart boy.
1929
01:25:33,515 --> 01:25:36,429
Let's keep this professional,
I plan on winning.
1930
01:25:36,431 --> 01:25:38,433
Agreed, so, now what?
1931
01:25:39,608 --> 01:25:40,870
We go to a pick-up joint.
1932
01:25:42,175 --> 01:25:43,479
I don't know of any.
1933
01:25:43,481 --> 01:25:44,306
I do.
1934
01:25:44,308 --> 01:25:45,438
Come on, let's go.
1935
01:25:45,440 --> 01:25:46,266
You're driving.
1936
01:25:58,235 --> 01:26:00,453
So, what now?
1937
01:26:00,455 --> 01:26:04,544
Well, I guess we should go
find a place to pick up women.
1938
01:26:04,546 --> 01:26:06,850
Well, that's not gonna work.
1939
01:26:06,852 --> 01:26:07,636
Why not?
1940
01:26:08,811 --> 01:26:09,638
I'm gay.
1941
01:26:10,465 --> 01:26:11,986
Happy?
1942
01:26:11,988 --> 01:26:14,423
Well, you're cute and funny.
1943
01:26:14,425 --> 01:26:15,468
You know what I mean.
1944
01:26:15,470 --> 01:26:18,516
Yeah, I'm just being shy.
1945
01:26:19,778 --> 01:26:22,520
Well, what do you say
we ditch this competition
1946
01:26:23,478 --> 01:26:25,652
and we go get a drink?
1947
01:26:25,654 --> 01:26:27,523
Rhonda would be furious!
1948
01:26:27,525 --> 01:26:30,308
Look, life's too short
to sweat the small stuff.
1949
01:26:30,310 --> 01:26:32,182
Just, just one drink.
1950
01:26:33,575 --> 01:26:35,313
Okay.
1951
01:26:35,315 --> 01:26:36,708
Just one drink.
1952
01:26:37,970 --> 01:26:38,797
Let's go.
1953
01:26:46,675 --> 01:26:47,674
I bring 'em in.
1954
01:26:47,676 --> 01:26:48,503
I put 'em away.
1955
01:26:49,547 --> 01:26:50,633
All of them?
1956
01:26:50,635 --> 01:26:52,505
So there was this one guy.
1957
01:26:52,507 --> 01:26:53,333
You here alone?
1958
01:26:54,160 --> 01:26:55,638
Yeah.
1959
01:26:55,640 --> 01:26:57,033
Who's that woman you're with?
1960
01:26:58,948 --> 01:27:00,730
She's just a friend.
1961
01:27:00,732 --> 01:27:01,994
Is she seeing anyone?
1962
01:27:06,129 --> 01:27:07,086
Check, please.
1963
01:27:08,305 --> 01:27:10,523
So, you want to
get out of here?
1964
01:27:10,525 --> 01:27:11,741
Yes.
1965
01:27:11,743 --> 01:27:12,960
All right, let's go.
1966
01:27:12,962 --> 01:27:13,961
Not with you.
1967
01:27:13,963 --> 01:27:15,399
Get the hell out of here.
1968
01:27:18,576 --> 01:27:20,576
So, you come here often?
1969
01:27:20,578 --> 01:27:21,534
No.
1970
01:27:21,536 --> 01:27:22,580
Okay.
1971
01:27:23,538 --> 01:27:24,580
Can I buy you a drink?
1972
01:27:24,582 --> 01:27:25,452
No.
1973
01:27:31,589 --> 01:27:32,719
Where are we?
1974
01:27:32,721 --> 01:27:34,503
I thought we were
going to get a drink.
1975
01:27:34,505 --> 01:27:36,681
My house, we are, here.
1976
01:27:41,817 --> 01:27:43,688
I have pepper spray.
1977
01:27:48,084 --> 01:27:50,084
Actually, it's body spray,
1978
01:27:50,086 --> 01:27:52,741
but it will still sting
your eyes really badly.
1979
01:27:53,959 --> 01:27:55,611
You'll just smell nice
as you writhe in pain.
1980
01:27:55,613 --> 01:27:57,308
Hey, man, we're cool.
1981
01:27:57,310 --> 01:28:00,703
We're just gonna have a few
drinks on my porch, that's it.
1982
01:28:00,705 --> 01:28:02,139
Okay.
1983
01:28:02,141 --> 01:28:03,924
But I'm not going in your house.
1984
01:28:03,926 --> 01:28:05,492
Okay, come on.
1985
01:28:07,538 --> 01:28:09,582
In high school, I was
quarterback in a football team.
1986
01:28:09,584 --> 01:28:10,539
Star player.
1987
01:28:10,541 --> 01:28:11,627
Oh, nice.
1988
01:28:11,629 --> 01:28:13,020
What do you do now?
1989
01:28:13,022 --> 01:28:14,021
Play league.
1990
01:28:14,023 --> 01:28:15,631
Oh, full-time?
1991
01:28:15,633 --> 01:28:17,809
Nah, only when I can get
a ride from the shelter.
1992
01:28:19,637 --> 01:28:21,596
Check please, on him.
1993
01:28:26,601 --> 01:28:29,604
[dramatic music]
1994
01:28:32,258 --> 01:28:33,085
Have a seat.
1995
01:28:41,137 --> 01:28:42,138
I'll be right back.
1996
01:28:47,752 --> 01:28:49,798
[sighs]
1997
01:29:00,069 --> 01:29:02,680
[angelic music]
1998
01:29:06,945 --> 01:29:09,295
[coughing]
1999
01:29:13,996 --> 01:29:15,650
Oh, I almost forgot.
2000
01:29:35,017 --> 01:29:35,844
Thanks.
2001
01:29:37,454 --> 01:29:39,802
It's a really nice
house you have.
2002
01:29:39,804 --> 01:29:41,761
Well, porch, actually.
2003
01:29:41,763 --> 01:29:43,676
Well, thank you.
2004
01:29:43,678 --> 01:29:45,634
Is that a spiral
staircase in there
2005
01:29:45,636 --> 01:29:46,722
with all those lights?
2006
01:29:46,724 --> 01:29:49,379
Yeah, it leads to
the master suite.
2007
01:29:50,206 --> 01:29:51,684
Oh.
2008
01:29:51,686 --> 01:29:52,687
Lovely.
2009
01:29:53,600 --> 01:29:55,080
I'd love to see that sometime.
2010
01:29:56,212 --> 01:29:58,995
But not tonight.
2011
01:29:58,997 --> 01:29:59,868
I know, I know.
2012
01:30:03,741 --> 01:30:07,569
So, uh, how long have you
been working for Rhonda?
2013
01:30:07,571 --> 01:30:09,745
Oh, just a couple of weeks.
2014
01:30:09,747 --> 01:30:12,487
And it's been hell.
2015
01:30:12,489 --> 01:30:13,793
Why is that?
2016
01:30:13,795 --> 01:30:16,578
She's just, she's just
a very demanding person
2017
01:30:16,580 --> 01:30:18,580
and, and not very nice.
2018
01:30:18,582 --> 01:30:19,973
You want me to slap
her around for you?
2019
01:30:19,975 --> 01:30:21,757
No, stop it.
2020
01:30:21,759 --> 01:30:24,542
She's just a bitter old bitch.
2021
01:30:24,544 --> 01:30:26,066
So what do you do?
2022
01:30:26,068 --> 01:30:27,284
I'm a hairdresser.
2023
01:30:27,286 --> 01:30:30,723
Oh, I've been looking
for a new stylist.
2024
01:30:30,725 --> 01:30:33,856
I could give you a
makeover if you'd like.
2025
01:30:33,858 --> 01:30:34,729
Oh.
2026
01:30:36,339 --> 01:30:37,122
So.
2027
01:30:38,558 --> 01:30:41,257
Tell me more about what
you would do to me.
2028
01:30:49,744 --> 01:30:53,008
[light acoustic music]
2029
01:30:54,574 --> 01:30:57,055
[soft singing]
2030
01:30:58,274 --> 01:31:00,970
So, how many did you get?
2031
01:31:00,972 --> 01:31:03,320
I don't know, I
haven't added 'em up yet.
2032
01:31:03,322 --> 01:31:05,540
Just count up the
numbers that you got.
2033
01:31:05,542 --> 01:31:06,802
Okay.
2034
01:31:06,804 --> 01:31:09,415
I got one.
2035
01:31:10,242 --> 01:31:11,504
How many did you get?
2036
01:31:13,811 --> 01:31:15,115
Two.
2037
01:31:15,117 --> 01:31:16,856
Twice as many as you.
2038
01:31:16,858 --> 01:31:18,248
I win.
2039
01:31:18,250 --> 01:31:20,642
Yeah, you win.
2040
01:31:20,644 --> 01:31:21,558
Where you going?
2041
01:31:22,864 --> 01:31:23,908
I need some tunes.
2042
01:31:25,910 --> 01:31:28,913
[gentle guitar music]
2043
01:31:41,883 --> 01:31:42,969
What is this?
2044
01:31:42,971 --> 01:31:45,275
It's my newest creation.
2045
01:31:45,277 --> 01:31:46,104
Do you like it?
2046
01:31:46,888 --> 01:31:48,757
It's amazing.
2047
01:31:48,759 --> 01:31:50,108
You're really talented, Jack.
2048
01:31:51,109 --> 01:31:51,936
Thanks.
2049
01:32:20,008 --> 01:32:20,965
I like you, Jack.
2050
01:32:22,488 --> 01:32:23,925
Yeah, sure.
2051
01:32:27,406 --> 01:32:29,929
[Gina] I really do.
2052
01:32:29,931 --> 01:32:30,975
I do, too.
2053
01:32:31,889 --> 01:32:33,064
[Gina] It's just.
2054
01:32:34,892 --> 01:32:35,762
What?
2055
01:32:37,547 --> 01:32:41,114
My track record
isn't the greatest.
2056
01:32:41,116 --> 01:32:42,160
I want this to work.
2057
01:32:43,901 --> 01:32:44,728
Really?
2058
01:32:46,469 --> 01:32:47,296
Yeah.
2059
01:32:48,514 --> 01:32:49,864
Can we go slow?
2060
01:32:53,432 --> 01:32:54,433
Slow is good.
2061
01:32:56,044 --> 01:32:57,132
I can be a turtle.
2062
01:32:58,089 --> 01:33:00,265
[laughs]
2063
01:33:02,093 --> 01:33:04,485
You really are
a great guy, Jack.
2064
01:33:04,487 --> 01:33:06,489
Yes, yes, I am.
2065
01:33:07,882 --> 01:33:09,969
We should get back
so we can see who won.
2066
01:33:09,971 --> 01:33:11,971
I already know who won.
2067
01:33:11,973 --> 01:33:12,928
Who?
2068
01:33:12,930 --> 01:33:13,800
Me.
2069
01:33:17,152 --> 01:33:20,501
Tino and Julian are
tallying up the scores.
2070
01:33:20,503 --> 01:33:23,114
We will soon know
which school has won.
2071
01:33:23,898 --> 01:33:26,028
Everybody freeze, FBI!
2072
01:33:26,030 --> 01:33:27,334
What the hell?
2073
01:33:27,336 --> 01:33:28,683
[dramatic music]
2074
01:33:28,685 --> 01:33:31,468
Bruno, you're under
arrest for smuggling.
2075
01:33:31,470 --> 01:33:32,948
Smuggling what?
2076
01:33:32,950 --> 01:33:34,254
These.
2077
01:33:34,256 --> 01:33:36,038
We caught up with the
rest of the packages
2078
01:33:36,040 --> 01:33:37,170
left in Jack's car.
2079
01:33:37,172 --> 01:33:38,475
Damn it.
2080
01:33:38,477 --> 01:33:41,000
I forgot to deliver the
rest of the packages.
2081
01:33:41,002 --> 01:33:42,915
I'm sorry, Bruno.
2082
01:33:42,917 --> 01:33:44,003
Don't worry about it, Jack.
2083
01:33:44,005 --> 01:33:46,092
You got nothing on me.
2084
01:33:46,094 --> 01:33:47,399
Go ahead, open it up.
2085
01:33:50,272 --> 01:33:53,055
These, drugs.
2086
01:33:53,057 --> 01:33:54,491
You're an idiot.
2087
01:33:54,493 --> 01:33:56,102
Those aren't drugs.
2088
01:33:56,104 --> 01:33:57,059
Then what are they?
2089
01:33:57,061 --> 01:33:58,321
[Bruno] Spices.
2090
01:33:58,323 --> 01:33:59,235
[giggling]
2091
01:33:59,237 --> 01:34:00,628
[Agent] Spices?
2092
01:34:00,630 --> 01:34:03,283
Yeah, from my
import-export business.
2093
01:34:03,285 --> 01:34:06,068
I supply 'em to
Chinese restaurants.
2094
01:34:06,070 --> 01:34:07,115
Sorry, Bruno.
2095
01:34:07,942 --> 01:34:09,506
Sorry, huh?
2096
01:34:09,508 --> 01:34:11,380
Tell that to the
judge and my lawyer.
2097
01:34:12,294 --> 01:34:15,077
Now, get the hell outta here.
2098
01:34:15,079 --> 01:34:17,125
Manny, show her the door.
2099
01:34:21,172 --> 01:34:22,867
Spices.
2100
01:34:22,869 --> 01:34:23,999
Rhonda.
2101
01:34:24,001 --> 01:34:25,087
We have a problem.
2102
01:34:25,089 --> 01:34:26,001
What is it?
2103
01:34:26,003 --> 01:34:27,526
Well, take a look.
2104
01:34:36,231 --> 01:34:39,362
[Rhonda] What are we gonna do?
2105
01:34:39,364 --> 01:34:41,103
I need to think.
2106
01:34:41,105 --> 01:34:42,454
We both need to think.
2107
01:34:44,935 --> 01:34:46,761
Attention, everyone.
2108
01:34:46,763 --> 01:34:48,678
It appears we have a tie.
2109
01:34:50,201 --> 01:34:52,201
Rhonda and Bruno are
reviewing the results
2110
01:34:52,203 --> 01:34:55,380
and will have a decision for
you momentarily, thank you.
2111
01:34:57,034 --> 01:35:00,557
[dramatic piano music]
2112
01:35:00,559 --> 01:35:03,258
Ladies and gentlemen,
please gather around.
2113
01:35:04,868 --> 01:35:09,177
I'm sorry about the unexpected
intrusion and the delay.
2114
01:35:10,439 --> 01:35:14,225
Rhonda and I have come up
with a solution to the tie.
2115
01:35:15,705 --> 01:35:18,097
Nick, come on up.
2116
01:35:18,099 --> 01:35:19,926
Gina, come on up here.
2117
01:35:24,757 --> 01:35:27,062
We've decided to
have our top students
2118
01:35:27,064 --> 01:35:29,630
compete to break the tie.
2119
01:35:29,632 --> 01:35:31,503
- The winner will...
- Bruno, wait.
2120
01:35:33,984 --> 01:35:35,636
Did you just interrupt me?
2121
01:35:35,638 --> 01:35:38,987
Yes, I'm sorry, but
there isn't a tie.
2122
01:35:38,989 --> 01:35:40,989
I didn't get any dates.
2123
01:35:40,991 --> 01:35:42,034
I lied.
2124
01:35:42,036 --> 01:35:43,078
[gasps]
2125
01:35:43,080 --> 01:35:44,081
Yes, yes!
2126
01:35:45,300 --> 01:35:48,040
Why the hell
would you do that?
2127
01:35:48,042 --> 01:35:49,998
Because I didn't want to.
2128
01:35:50,000 --> 01:35:52,218
Come on, Bruno, let's discuss
2129
01:35:52,220 --> 01:35:55,136
the details of your
surrender over some drinks.
2130
01:35:56,528 --> 01:35:58,313
Okay, but you're
buying this time.
2131
01:36:04,536 --> 01:36:06,321
Jack, why'd you do that?
2132
01:36:07,452 --> 01:36:09,976
I may be a turtle,
but I know what I want.
2133
01:36:12,805 --> 01:36:14,153
Well, Jack, it looks
like you finally learned
2134
01:36:14,155 --> 01:36:15,937
how to treat a woman.
2135
01:36:15,939 --> 01:36:18,157
I guess it took
the right woman.
2136
01:36:18,159 --> 01:36:20,072
And the right man.
2137
01:36:20,074 --> 01:36:22,598
[upbeat music]
2138
01:36:39,702 --> 01:36:41,180
[Manny] So, spices, huh?
2139
01:36:41,182 --> 01:36:42,270
[Bruno] Yeah.
2140
01:36:43,619 --> 01:36:45,401
They didn't even look inside.
2141
01:36:45,403 --> 01:36:47,101
What a bunch of idiots.
2142
01:36:50,191 --> 01:36:52,106
So, what are we gonna do now?
2143
01:36:53,933 --> 01:36:55,150
I think we need a new plan.
2144
01:36:55,152 --> 01:36:58,938
I was thinking about
opening up a new school.
2145
01:37:00,331 --> 01:37:01,158
Manny,
2146
01:37:02,638 --> 01:37:04,638
you ever been a model?
2147
01:37:04,640 --> 01:37:07,206
[chuckling]
2148
01:37:07,208 --> 01:37:10,254
Yeah, modeling
school, I like that.
2149
01:37:12,300 --> 01:37:14,824
[upbeat music]
2150
01:37:15,076 --> 01:37:20,076
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
2151
01:37:44,854 --> 01:37:49,902
♪ Now, now, let's get
ready, let's get ready ♪
2152
01:37:50,773 --> 01:37:53,034
♪ Stop what you're doing
2153
01:37:53,036 --> 01:37:55,341
♪ Drop on the floor
2154
01:37:55,343 --> 01:37:57,212
♪ Stop what you're doing
2155
01:37:57,214 --> 01:37:59,083
♪ Now drop on the floor
2156
01:37:59,085 --> 01:38:04,134
♪ Let's get ready
2157
01:38:07,877 --> 01:38:09,006
♪ You ready
2158
01:38:09,008 --> 01:38:10,617
♪ Stop what you're doing
2159
01:38:10,619 --> 01:38:13,228
♪ Drop on the floor
2160
01:38:13,230 --> 01:38:15,230
♪ Stop what you're doing
2161
01:38:15,232 --> 01:38:20,281
♪ Drop on the floor
2162
01:38:22,065 --> 01:38:24,239
♪ Stop what you're doing
2163
01:38:24,241 --> 01:38:26,546
♪ Drop on the floor
2164
01:38:26,548 --> 01:38:28,374
♪ Stop what you're doing
2165
01:38:28,376 --> 01:38:30,245
♪ Now drop on the floor
2166
01:38:30,247 --> 01:38:35,296
♪ Let's get ready
2167
01:38:40,039 --> 01:38:42,301
♪ Stop what you're doing
2168
01:38:42,303 --> 01:38:44,433
♪ Drop on the floor
2169
01:38:44,435 --> 01:38:46,261
♪ Stop what you're doing
2170
01:38:46,263 --> 01:38:48,089
♪ Now drop on the floor
2171
01:38:48,091 --> 01:38:53,139
♪ Let's get ready
2172
01:38:57,274 --> 01:39:02,279
♪ You ready
2173
01:39:03,149 --> 01:39:04,540
♪ Stop what you're doing
2174
01:39:04,542 --> 01:39:09,504
♪ Drop on the floor
2175
01:39:11,288 --> 01:39:13,462
♪ Stop what you're doing
2176
01:39:13,464 --> 01:39:15,986
♪ Drop on the floor
2177
01:39:15,988 --> 01:39:17,901
♪ Stop what you're doing
2178
01:39:17,903 --> 01:39:19,251
♪ Now drop on the floor
2179
01:39:19,253 --> 01:39:22,299
♪ Let's get ready
134900
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