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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,670 --> 00:00:10,310 Swear to God, I didn't recognize them 2 00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:11,770 when they walked in. 3 00:00:11,870 --> 00:00:13,780 How long has it been since the last time we saw them? 4 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,910 Oh, boy. Must be, like 20 years. 5 00:00:17,010 --> 00:00:19,150 It's been a long time. People change. 6 00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:20,880 Not to be catty, but you don't think 7 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:23,420 she looked a little- - I thought she looked fine. 8 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:24,920 Ah, not fine, but- 9 00:00:25,020 --> 00:00:26,590 Yeah, she - she looked fatigued, 10 00:00:26,690 --> 00:00:28,390 I gotta say, yeah. 11 00:00:28,490 --> 00:00:29,890 She looked a little worn down. 12 00:00:29,990 --> 00:00:31,530 - Right? - Yeah. 13 00:00:31,630 --> 00:00:32,930 He did not look well, I thought. 14 00:00:33,030 --> 00:00:34,500 Yeah, well, you know, even before 15 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,100 he didn't look that good. 16 00:00:38,470 --> 00:00:40,270 Do I 17 00:00:40,370 --> 00:00:42,340 Am I fatigued looking? 18 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,140 No. 19 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,540 - Seriously, do I look - what did you call her? 20 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:47,940 "Worn down"? - No, not at- 21 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,440 She had a very tough 22 00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:51,710 couple of years. - Okay, you haven't seen me 23 00:00:51,810 --> 00:00:54,020 in 20 years. - Okay. 24 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,780 - I walk into a restaurant. - All right. 25 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,120 I say, "Wow, look at you! You look fantastic. " 26 00:00:59,220 --> 00:01:01,420 I'm saying it's 20 years later. 27 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:02,460 I understand. 28 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:05,130 - I walk in. - Yeah. 29 00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:07,460 Beautiful. 30 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,700 - But if you look really close. - I'm looking close. 31 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:11,830 If you put your glasses on. 32 00:01:11,930 --> 00:01:13,800 These are reading Just 33 00:01:18,410 --> 00:01:19,910 Yeah, I see what you mean. 34 00:01:30,550 --> 00:01:32,590 Tell me why 35 00:01:32,690 --> 00:01:34,390 I love you like I do 36 00:01:34,490 --> 00:01:36,190 Tell me who 37 00:01:36,290 --> 00:01:38,460 Can stop my heart as much as you 38 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,400 If we take each other's hands 39 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:44,770 We can fly into the final frontier 40 00:01:44,870 --> 00:01:46,570 I'm mad about you, baby 41 00:01:46,670 --> 00:01:48,300 Final frontier 42 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,870 - I'm mad about you - Final frontier 43 00:01:50,970 --> 00:01:53,580 Ohh 44 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,210 Final frontier 45 00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:00,520 - Okay, I'm putting the Post -its in 46 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,580 with the pencils and the pencil sharpener. 47 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:03,850 You know, she hasn't used a pencil 48 00:02:03,950 --> 00:02:05,190 since second grade, right? - I don't care. 49 00:02:05,290 --> 00:02:07,160 Who goes to college without a pencil? 50 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:08,920 Hey, do you want me to start loading the elevator? 51 00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:10,730 - Not yet, she's got more. - Oh, come on. 52 00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:13,800 How much more could there be? - Oh, my God, we are so late. 53 00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:15,100 I wanted to get there early enough 54 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,630 to get the good bed without looking like 55 00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:18,430 I was trying to get there early enough to get the good bed. 56 00:02:18,530 --> 00:02:20,340 But it's college, right? 57 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,040 It's a dorm. It probably isn't a good bed. 58 00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:23,240 But if there is one, I want it. 59 00:02:23,340 --> 00:02:24,870 Is thisis this is this everything? 60 00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:25,910 No, no, there's more. 61 00:02:26,010 --> 00:02:27,340 Did you pack your phone charger? 62 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,280 - Yes! - What is even in here? 63 00:02:29,380 --> 00:02:31,950 I don't know, I think, like, sheets and towels and 64 00:02:32,050 --> 00:02:34,620 144 condoms? 65 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,180 - Her idea. - Honey. 66 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,020 - It's college. - Exactly. 67 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:39,890 It's not post-war Saigon. 68 00:02:39,990 --> 00:02:41,920 Why-why-why- - Phone charger? 69 00:02:42,020 --> 00:02:44,760 - Oh, my God. Yes. Okay? Can we please go? 70 00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:46,530 - Yes. - Let's go. 71 00:02:50,730 --> 00:02:52,400 Okay, let's go. 72 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:54,070 Ssweetie, did you get a chance to 73 00:02:54,170 --> 00:02:56,040 to read the little poem I wrote you? 74 00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:57,570 I did not get 75 00:02:57,670 --> 00:03:00,040 to read the whole thing... yet. Butbut you have it? 76 00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:01,210 - Of course. - Okay. 77 00:03:01,310 --> 00:03:04,980 It's right here with all of my 78 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,420 I know exactly where it is. 79 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,220 She couldn't take two minutes to read the poem. 80 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:11,050 Okay, but you're not gonna read it to her now, right? 81 00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:12,090 I'm not gonna read the whole thing, but I 82 00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:13,520 I'm begging you. I know you had 83 00:03:13,620 --> 00:03:15,820 this whole little moment planned out in your head. 84 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:17,290 - She's leaving the nest. - I understand. 85 00:03:17,390 --> 00:03:18,860 - Found it! - She does not need 86 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:20,200 to see you cry right now. 87 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,000 I don't need to see you cry right now. 88 00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:24,170 - Okay, okay. I won't - fine, I won't read it. 89 00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:25,330 I put it right where I wouldn't forget it. 90 00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:28,540 Yeah, but now it's all wrinkled. 91 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:29,900 Sweetie, the only reason 92 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,570 I mention the phone charger is I know- 93 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,140 Oh, my God. You literally don't believe me. 94 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,080 - Of course I believe you. - You wanna see it? 95 00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:37,350 No, I don't- 96 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:39,280 Okay. Great. 97 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,950 I just know a lot of times I think I grab one thing 98 00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:46,960 and later it turns out I grabbed a different thing. 99 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:50,390 - Where you going now? - Wrong friggin' charger. 100 00:03:50,490 --> 00:03:52,360 Sweetie, debilitating sadness 101 00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:55,130 debilitating is L-I-T? - What did you write? 102 00:03:55,230 --> 00:03:57,600 When you read the whole thing it makes more sense. 103 00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:58,530 Can we please go? 104 00:03:58,630 --> 00:03:59,900 Can we take a picture, please? 105 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,200 - Mom, no, no, no. - You're not gonna wanna 106 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:02,940 do it later when all your new friends are there. 107 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,310 - Fine. - Okay. 108 00:04:07,510 --> 00:04:09,280 Okay, let's go. 109 00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:11,480 The beginning is kind of sweet, I thought. 110 00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:15,880 "Every baby bird must someday fly and leave the nest 111 00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:17,350 Oh, for God's sake. 112 00:04:17,450 --> 00:04:19,820 Okay, okay, okay. Let's go. 113 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:20,890 You ready? I'm ready. 114 00:04:20,990 --> 00:04:22,990 I'm as ready as a person can be. 115 00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:25,660 Let's go, let's go, let's go. 116 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,100 Hang on. Gotta pee. 117 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,800 From reading? 118 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:31,200 No. From, like, an hour ago, 119 00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:32,300 but I didn't want you to be late. 120 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:33,840 I really don't wanna be late. 121 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,740 Just go pee fast. 122 00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:38,470 Well, that's not always up to me. 123 00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,080 Hello, Buchmans! 124 00:04:40,170 --> 00:04:41,480 - Mr. Wicker. - Oh, boy am I glad 125 00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:43,240 I caught up with you guys before you left. 126 00:04:43,340 --> 00:04:47,050 You are taking a lot of stuff. 127 00:04:47,150 --> 00:04:48,320 I thought you were going to NYU. 128 00:04:48,420 --> 00:04:51,790 - I am. - Well, it's five blocks away. 129 00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:54,160 It's five very long blocks. 130 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:56,090 - Hey, Mr. Wicker. - That was fast. 131 00:04:56,190 --> 00:04:58,060 Yeah, I didn't go. 132 00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,360 I won't take up a lot of your time. 133 00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:02,300 But I thought you would get a kick out of this. 134 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,430 You know what that is? A picture of your parents 135 00:05:04,530 --> 00:05:06,930 bringing you home from the hospital. 136 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,470 How about that? 137 00:05:08,570 --> 00:05:10,070 - Ohh. - Aww. 138 00:05:10,170 --> 00:05:12,670 Ohh! 139 00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:13,980 You were a delightful child. 140 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,010 Muah. 141 00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:18,380 And don't you be a stranger. 142 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:22,180 Okay, if you need me Buchmans, you know where to find me. 143 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,920 - Let's go. - Yeah. 144 00:05:24,020 --> 00:05:25,250 You know what we forgot to do? 145 00:05:25,350 --> 00:05:28,260 And I think we're gonna kick ourselves if we don't do it. 146 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,530 "Every baby bird must fly and leave the nest. 147 00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:31,890 "And even though our hearts are breaking, 148 00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:34,430 we wish you all the -" Oh, we'll read it in the car. 149 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,300 You know, you guys can go. I can make the bed. 150 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,210 That's okay. I'm almost finished. 151 00:05:47,140 --> 00:05:49,610 Ew. What is that? 152 00:05:49,710 --> 00:05:51,880 - Mattress protector. - So what's that, then? 153 00:05:51,980 --> 00:05:52,850 - Mattress pad. - No, I thought 154 00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:54,050 that was the mattress protector. 155 00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:55,480 - It is. - For bed bugs. 156 00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:56,620 Yeah. 157 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,020 Okay, so if a bug is strong enough 158 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:00,420 to make it past the first protector 159 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:02,290 and fight its way through a mattress pad, 160 00:06:02,390 --> 00:06:03,760 what makes you think it couldn't break through 161 00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:04,960 the second protector? 162 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,390 - Do you wanna live with bugs? - No. 163 00:06:06,490 --> 00:06:07,630 You know, you could be helping me with this. 164 00:06:07,730 --> 00:06:10,030 - I just offered. - It's fine. I've got it. 165 00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:27,080 That's the sound it makes. 166 00:06:28,050 --> 00:06:29,280 All right, fine. 167 00:06:29,380 --> 00:06:31,390 Your roommate seems very nice. 168 00:06:31,490 --> 00:06:34,560 What's she from Syria? That's so impressive. 169 00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:38,160 Yeah? Why is that impressive, Mom? 170 00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:42,060 No. I mean to be that committed to an education 171 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:43,730 that you travel halfway around the worid. 172 00:06:43,830 --> 00:06:45,830 And yet, her parents got here early enough 173 00:06:45,930 --> 00:06:48,440 to get the good bed. 174 00:06:48,540 --> 00:06:49,470 Okay. 175 00:06:49,570 --> 00:06:51,040 - You know what? I - I think it's time 176 00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:52,310 that you guys should go, anyway. 177 00:06:52,410 --> 00:06:54,340 No. What do you mean? Why? Why? 178 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,210 Because I have the dorm orientation thing. 179 00:06:56,310 --> 00:06:58,010 Okay, but that doesn't mean we have to 180 00:06:58,110 --> 00:07:01,080 Attention parents, it's time to say good bye. 181 00:07:05,850 --> 00:07:07,420 So this is it. 182 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,720 This is it. 183 00:07:15,430 --> 00:07:18,330 Thank you for my nice poem. 184 00:07:19,670 --> 00:07:20,470 Mabel? You coming? 185 00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:22,870 Yeah, yeah. I'll be right there. 186 00:07:22,970 --> 00:07:24,210 I gotta go. - I love you. 187 00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:26,310 I love you, too. 188 00:07:33,150 --> 00:07:34,780 Now, go. Go, go, go, go. 189 00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:41,090 I think it went pretty good, right? Oh. 190 00:07:51,530 --> 00:07:54,440 - How you doing there, tiger? - I'm okay now. 191 00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,810 How about now? 192 00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:03,440 Slightly less so. 193 00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:07,620 Boy, was it always this quiet? 194 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,420 Mm. 195 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,060 How about you? - What? 196 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:17,690 You okay? 197 00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:19,590 I am, yeah. 198 00:08:19,690 --> 00:08:21,430 Well, all right. 199 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:24,930 Well, here we are. - I know, right? 200 00:08:25,030 --> 00:08:27,900 Well, welcome to Tahiti. 201 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,870 Tahiti. 202 00:08:29,970 --> 00:08:32,040 I don't know what you're saying. 203 00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:33,570 We made it to Tahiti. 204 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,310 Wha-when Mabel was a baby 205 00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:39,550 and you were up every 20 minutes breastfeeding, 206 00:08:39,650 --> 00:08:40,880 remember one night, you crawled into bed 207 00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:43,120 and you said, "When this kid goes off to college, 208 00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:44,920 we're going to Tahiti. " 209 00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:47,220 I said that? 210 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,020 Yes, you said that. 211 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,160 - Huh. - Seriously. What- 212 00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:52,390 All right, well, then, 213 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,500 why do you think for the last 17 years, 214 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:55,830 whenever things got crazy with Mabel, 215 00:08:55,930 --> 00:08:58,230 I would wink at you and say, "Tahiti. " 216 00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,300 To be honest, I never really understood that. 217 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,000 - What are you talk - You used to wink back. 218 00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:06,310 I didn't wanna hurt your feelings. 219 00:09:06,410 --> 00:09:08,280 All right. Well, then, were you not puzzled? 220 00:09:08,380 --> 00:09:10,480 Like, "Why does my husband keep saying Tahiti?" 221 00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:12,180 I thought maybe it was some kind of movie reference 222 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,210 I was supposed to know. 223 00:09:13,310 --> 00:09:15,920 Like, "Rosebud. " 224 00:09:16,020 --> 00:09:18,350 "Tahiti. " 225 00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:19,790 - No. - There was a period 226 00:09:19,890 --> 00:09:22,990 in the middle where I thought you were saying "Tahini. " 227 00:09:23,090 --> 00:09:24,260 Who's that? 228 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:25,790 I-what? 229 00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:27,190 This is very unsettling. 230 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:29,900 I was under the erroneous assumption for years 231 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,200 that we were on the same page about this, but- 232 00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:36,810 A child leaves home, it's like a death. 233 00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:38,210 Not a death, God forbid. 234 00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:39,240 I shouldn't use the word "death. " 235 00:09:39,340 --> 00:09:40,580 It's a loss. 236 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:43,210 It's a terrible, horrible loss. 237 00:09:43,310 --> 00:09:45,210 It's-it's brutal. 238 00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:47,720 It just rips the heart right out of your chest. 239 00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:51,490 And I find the only salve for that 240 00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:55,190 is to suppress your feelings with food. 241 00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:58,360 So I got you some lox, some whitefish 242 00:09:58,460 --> 00:09:59,830 some kippered salmon. 243 00:09:59,930 --> 00:10:01,360 I don't know whether you guys like sturgeon or not, 244 00:10:01,460 --> 00:10:02,360 but I got some anyway. 245 00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:04,870 And a little piece of sable. 246 00:10:04,970 --> 00:10:08,840 Holy Malloy, is that stuff expensive. 247 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,240 How are you guys? 248 00:10:15,340 --> 00:10:17,080 We're fine. Mark, this is so nice. 249 00:10:17,180 --> 00:10:19,780 - And totally unnecessary. - It's so much food. 250 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,480 That's what my beautiful bride said. 251 00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:23,120 But I lost that argument. 252 00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:26,050 - Oh, my goodness, more food. - What did you guys do? 253 00:10:26,150 --> 00:10:27,320 In case you were wondering 254 00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:29,160 what a lifetime supply of bagels looked like, 255 00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:30,760 here you go. 256 00:10:30,860 --> 00:10:32,530 How you guys doing? - You know what? 257 00:10:32,630 --> 00:10:34,900 She's a rock, I had a bit of a bumpy morning. 258 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,930 Oh, please. Empty nest? It's a killer. 259 00:10:37,030 --> 00:10:38,530 - Mark. - No. 260 00:10:38,630 --> 00:10:40,030 No, that's what broke up my marriage. 261 00:10:40,130 --> 00:10:42,740 I'm not saying Fran and I didn't have our problems. 262 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,470 But the minute that kid left the house, boom! 263 00:10:45,570 --> 00:10:47,480 Dead marriage. 264 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,740 My darling, I beg you to stop talking, 265 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,950 and yet, you don't. - You see? 266 00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:53,880 From Fran, that would've sounded critical. 267 00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:55,450 But from my Tonya... 268 00:10:55,550 --> 00:10:57,020 it's comforting. 269 00:10:58,690 --> 00:11:00,690 Okay. We're gonna get out of your hair. 270 00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:02,390 No, no, we can't eat this all by ourselves. 271 00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:04,390 Come help me. - No, we got thing- 272 00:11:04,490 --> 00:11:08,230 Just a little bite so as not to seem rude. 273 00:11:08,330 --> 00:11:10,970 So, did you read that terrific review 274 00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:12,170 for Ira's restaurant? 275 00:11:12,270 --> 00:11:13,600 Ah-how about that? 276 00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,670 Isn't that something? - Yeah, "New York Times," huh? 277 00:11:15,770 --> 00:11:17,240 I know. 278 00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:18,540 Have you been in the restaurant lately? 279 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:20,270 No, we're gonna try and go later today, but 280 00:11:20,370 --> 00:11:22,240 Did you read that review? 281 00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:25,150 I just said-yes. 282 00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:27,450 How big a day is today, huh? 283 00:11:27,550 --> 00:11:29,220 - Well. - I mean, my very favorite 284 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,780 and only niece leaves for college. 285 00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,350 I gotta say a proper good-bye, 286 00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:34,020 'cause I want her to see me see her 287 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,220 walk out that door, so I'm certainly not gonna miss 288 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,760 this momentous moment. - Okay. 289 00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:40,590 We dropped her off, like, an hour ago. 290 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,860 - Oh, poo! - Yeah. 291 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,670 - So, "a rock," huh? - What? 292 00:11:46,770 --> 00:11:48,400 Your only child leaves home for college, 293 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,470 and you're a rock? 294 00:11:49,570 --> 00:11:51,610 Is it bad that I'm okay with it? 295 00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:52,810 All right, listen to me. 296 00:11:52,910 --> 00:11:55,410 My practice is overflowing with women 297 00:11:55,510 --> 00:11:56,840 whose kids have left for college. 298 00:11:56,940 --> 00:11:59,210 And to a person, these women are undone. 299 00:11:59,310 --> 00:12:01,750 They walk in the door, throw themselves on my couch 300 00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:03,950 and cry, and cry, and cry. 301 00:12:04,050 --> 00:12:05,620 They are broken women. 302 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,220 So, you tell me you're all hunky-dory, 303 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:09,890 I gotta question that. - Isn't the plan 304 00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,690 to raise them so they're ready to leave 305 00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:13,630 and if we do a good job, they go? 306 00:12:13,730 --> 00:12:16,860 They say the same thing, and then they cry. 307 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,330 We did a good job, I think. I'm happy about that. 308 00:12:20,430 --> 00:12:21,900 Well, then maybe I'm wrong. 309 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,710 Maybe you found a way to navigate 310 00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:27,570 these shark-infested waters gracefully. 311 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,040 In that case, I salute you. - Well, I thank you 312 00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,680 And I salute you right back. 313 00:12:32,780 --> 00:12:35,920 Tahiti? You know how long a flight that is? 314 00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:37,680 It's not actual Tahiti, it's a metaphor. 315 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:39,620 - Hey, Lisa. - Hey. Did you see 316 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,120 how much food you have? - I did. 317 00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:42,960 Sweetie, explain Tahiti to them, would you? 318 00:12:43,060 --> 00:12:46,990 Uh, Tahiti, you know, like, Tahiti. 319 00:12:47,090 --> 00:12:50,260 I don't know. 320 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,000 I have to say, I'm impressed. 321 00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:53,970 I would've bet money that she'd be a wreck. 322 00:12:54,070 --> 00:12:55,940 But good for her. - Paul cried. 323 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,640 - All right. - That's healthy. 324 00:12:57,740 --> 00:12:59,470 And he wrote a beautiful poem. 325 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:01,010 - All right. - It's a little long. 326 00:13:01,110 --> 00:13:03,840 - I mean, to be so composed. - Huh. 327 00:13:03,940 --> 00:13:05,280 What? 328 00:13:05,380 --> 00:13:07,080 Guess who didn't make her bed? 329 00:13:07,180 --> 00:13:09,820 Marie Antoinette. 330 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:12,350 'Cause she was the queen. 331 00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:13,550 Wait, what happened? 332 00:13:13,650 --> 00:13:15,190 Your daughter leaves for college, 333 00:13:15,290 --> 00:13:16,460 and she doesn't make the bed. 334 00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,390 - Sh -sweetie, she always doesn't make her bed. 335 00:13:18,490 --> 00:13:20,890 Yeah, but today? Her last day at home, 336 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,960 she doesn't take time to make the bed? 337 00:13:23,060 --> 00:13:25,030 That's a message. - What's the message? 338 00:13:25,130 --> 00:13:27,230 Well, it isn't "Thanks for 17 years of love and support. " 339 00:13:27,330 --> 00:13:29,070 - Here it comes. - No. 340 00:13:29,170 --> 00:13:31,710 it's not what you think. It's the bed. 341 00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:33,740 Feels a little passive aggressive to me. 342 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,610 Maybe I'm wrong. I'm letting it go. 343 00:13:35,710 --> 00:13:36,780 Well, I'd say Hey, you know what? 344 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,650 I noticed the bed, and I didn't love it. 345 00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:41,050 No one would love it. 346 00:13:41,150 --> 00:13:42,650 Ask those lunatic patients of yours. 347 00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:44,020 They wouldn't love it. 348 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:45,720 Those giris would be peeing down their own leg. 349 00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:48,060 But me? I let it go. 350 00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:55,900 What are you looking at? 351 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,410 - Oh! - You didn't make your bed. 352 00:14:09,510 --> 00:14:10,510 - What? - I don't think you meant 353 00:14:10,610 --> 00:14:12,150 to send that kind of message, did you? 354 00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:13,650 You probably just forgot. 355 00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:16,650 You see where I am, right? I'm in college. 356 00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:19,420 Exactly. And someday you're going to come home 357 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:20,590 and when you do, you'll probably want 358 00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:22,260 a nicely made bed waiting for you. 359 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:23,520 So why don't you come on home and make it? 360 00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:24,860 No. 361 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,030 - Sweetie. - I'm not coming home 362 00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:27,190 just to make my bed. 363 00:14:27,290 --> 00:14:28,560 - Well, I- - If you make me make my bed, 364 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,000 I'll never come home. In which case, 365 00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:31,570 it doesn't really matter if the bed gets made or not. 366 00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:32,670 How about that? 367 00:14:32,770 --> 00:14:33,900 Well, I'm not making your bed. 368 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,570 - Well, I'm not asking you to. - Good. 369 00:14:35,670 --> 00:14:38,610 If it bothers you that much, maybe just get rid of the bed. 370 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,110 So what'd she say? 371 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,650 Is that- is that you to me, or- 372 00:14:46,750 --> 00:14:48,580 Her to me. I'm paraphrasing. 373 00:14:52,590 --> 00:14:53,990 - Ahh! - Can I say something? 374 00:14:54,090 --> 00:14:55,620 You people! You don't have to 375 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,430 physically come here to say things. 376 00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:58,860 If this is about the frickin' bed- 377 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,960 Listen to me. You have been out of the house 378 00:15:01,060 --> 00:15:02,730 an hour and a half, and in that short time, 379 00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:04,070 it's all gone to hell. 380 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,170 So I need you to come home. You gotta make the bed. 381 00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:10,100 You don't really want me to make the bed. 382 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,340 - Uh, yes I do. - It's what Mom wants. 383 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,510 So? 384 00:15:13,610 --> 00:15:15,480 She's manipulating you. 385 00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:17,080 So? 386 00:15:17,180 --> 00:15:21,210 Listen, you and I both know this isn't about the bed. 387 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,780 But really, it's about the bed. 388 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,620 So what I'm saying is come home, make the bed. 389 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:26,920 But don't think of it as doing it for Mom, 390 00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:29,520 think of it as doing something for me. 391 00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:30,790 I'm not gonna come home and make the bed 392 00:15:30,890 --> 00:15:32,660 because A, it's ridiculous. 393 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:34,860 But two, I'm protecting you. 394 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,530 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 395 00:15:36,630 --> 00:15:37,700 How do you think Mom's gonna feel 396 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,000 if she couldn't get me to come home, 397 00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:41,740 but when you come here and ask, I say, "Sure"? 398 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:44,870 It's not gonna sit well, trust me. 399 00:15:44,970 --> 00:15:46,710 I'm helping you. You're welcome. 400 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,580 Very nicely played. 401 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,210 Hey, nice to see you again. 402 00:15:53,310 --> 00:15:55,080 Yep, that's my dad. 403 00:16:23,780 --> 00:16:27,510 "Finally, authentic Italian food 404 00:16:27,610 --> 00:16:29,480 "that with every bite transports you 405 00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:31,590 "straight to the hills of Tuscany. 406 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:34,490 Every dish a sublime work of perfection. " 407 00:16:34,590 --> 00:16:35,890 - Is this fantastic? - No, wait, wait. 408 00:16:35,990 --> 00:16:40,030 "Mr. Buchman and Executive Chef Lucia Francavella 409 00:16:40,130 --> 00:16:42,430 "have brought to the downtown eating scene 410 00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:44,500 a most welcome addition. " 411 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:45,770 I'm How about that? 412 00:16:45,870 --> 00:16:47,840 I'm so proud of you, Splinky. No kidding. 413 00:16:52,910 --> 00:16:54,640 She says I've read this thing so many times 414 00:16:54,740 --> 00:16:58,310 my eyes are gonna- 415 00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:03,480 Something about my eyes. 416 00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:06,620 Oh, I'm telling you, Paulie, this woman 417 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,720 My God. And now this? 418 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,960 I just-Oh, I just feel so friggin' blessed 419 00:17:11,060 --> 00:17:14,530 that my life is so damn good. 420 00:17:14,630 --> 00:17:16,930 I'm sorry. I cut you off before. 421 00:17:17,030 --> 00:17:19,370 You were saying, tough day today, huh? 422 00:17:19,470 --> 00:17:21,800 Well, yeah, no, not the best morning. 423 00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:23,840 Uh-you know, Jamie's taking it a bit- 424 00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:25,770 I don't know. I always had this picture in my head 425 00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,840 that when Mabel- 426 00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:36,020 Mmm! My-Paulie! 427 00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:37,480 You gotta taste this. - It's okay. 428 00:17:37,580 --> 00:17:39,920 You know what? I'm really not- - No, no, no, no. 429 00:17:40,020 --> 00:17:41,120 - No, you know what? My- - Just-just- 430 00:17:41,220 --> 00:17:44,960 My stomach's been I can't even get 431 00:17:45,060 --> 00:17:46,730 Oh, that's pretty good. 432 00:17:49,730 --> 00:17:51,670 Muah! 433 00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:54,740 Oh, my God. That woman. 434 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,700 Ah, I'm sorry. Paulie, you were saying, 435 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,010 Mabel, James- - Yeah, no. 436 00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:01,180 Just, nah, the way Jamie's acting is- 437 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,980 You know, Mabel moving out, it's brutal for both of us. 438 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,110 But the way she's acting is-is- 439 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,210 Paulie. 440 00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:08,850 It's her daughter. What do you expect? 441 00:18:08,950 --> 00:18:10,150 I understand. It's my daughter, too. 442 00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:12,050 Yeah, but you're not the mother. 443 00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:13,990 Look, that-that child, that person 444 00:18:14,090 --> 00:18:15,490 who you saw leave home today, 445 00:18:15,590 --> 00:18:17,490 that person came out of her body. 446 00:18:17,590 --> 00:18:19,960 That's the depth of the bond. 447 00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:21,860 Now, when you have a person come out of you, 448 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,830 then we can talk. 449 00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:27,800 Go to her, Paulie. 450 00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:28,840 When did this happen? 451 00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:31,510 When did you become, like, wise? 452 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:32,740 I've always been wise. 453 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:33,840 You know, I didn't show it a lot. 454 00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:35,740 I thought people might find it off-putting. 455 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,380 You're absolutely right. All right, you know what? 456 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:39,810 I'm gonna get going. - No, hey, hey. 457 00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,280 You gotta take some pasta home for James. 458 00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:42,450 No, no, please. You know what, I got 459 00:18:42,550 --> 00:18:43,820 - Paulie. - No, no, no. 460 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,020 The woman is in pain. 461 00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:46,750 She needs nurturing. 462 00:18:46,850 --> 00:18:48,990 I'll whip up something extra fantastico. 463 00:18:49,090 --> 00:18:51,760 - You just said go to her so- - What, empty handed? 464 00:18:51,860 --> 00:18:54,560 Don't be a lunatic. 465 00:18:54,660 --> 00:18:56,830 Okay. 466 00:19:26,490 --> 00:19:28,230 Honey? 467 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:33,830 Sweetie? 468 00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:38,440 James? 469 00:19:43,380 --> 00:19:45,280 I got pasta. 470 00:20:01,230 --> 00:20:02,560 I didn't mean to startle you. 471 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,630 - Oh, really? - Your room looks nice. 472 00:20:04,730 --> 00:20:05,830 Are you both just insane? 473 00:20:05,930 --> 00:20:07,130 I can't speak for your father, 474 00:20:07,230 --> 00:20:08,970 but as the person who just broke your bed apart 475 00:20:09,070 --> 00:20:11,070 with my bare hands, possibly. 476 00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:13,640 - You broke my bed? - Yes. 477 00:20:13,740 --> 00:20:14,940 It felt really good. 478 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:17,110 But then I took a long walk, and a deep breath 479 00:20:17,210 --> 00:20:19,910 and I want to apologize to you. 480 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:24,350 The truth... it wasn't really about the bed. 481 00:20:24,450 --> 00:20:26,220 You think? 482 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,590 You have a lot on your plate. You didn't deserve that. 483 00:20:29,690 --> 00:20:32,690 So whatever happened before, it wasn't you, it was me. 484 00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:38,900 Would you mind saying that again? 485 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,000 It's not you, it's me. 486 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:46,710 Thank you. 487 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,580 Okay. I'm gonna go. 488 00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:56,450 - You don't have to. - Mm. 489 00:20:56,550 --> 00:20:57,920 I'm gonna go. 490 00:20:58,020 --> 00:21:00,490 - Hello. - Hi. How are you? 491 00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:05,160 That's my mom. 492 00:21:13,930 --> 00:21:15,070 - How did - how did I miss you? 493 00:21:15,170 --> 00:21:16,700 She walked in right after you left. 494 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,140 What is with you guys? 495 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,770 Hey, today has been a little crazier than usual. 496 00:21:20,870 --> 00:21:22,740 I got you pasta. - No! No, come on. 497 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,510 That's cold, now. Gimme. 498 00:21:24,610 --> 00:21:25,580 - No, that's really too many- - I'll make you fresh. 499 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:26,880 I'm really not hungry, but thank you. 500 00:21:26,980 --> 00:21:29,550 I got it. 501 00:21:29,650 --> 00:21:32,550 I'm glad you texted me, 'cause I went home, and 502 00:21:32,650 --> 00:21:34,290 Did you see the bed? 503 00:21:34,390 --> 00:21:35,660 I did. 504 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:39,890 I went over and apologized to Mabel. 505 00:21:39,990 --> 00:21:42,600 You went over there again? 506 00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:44,330 Okay. 507 00:21:44,430 --> 00:21:46,730 You know how I said I didn't remember Tahiti? 508 00:21:49,140 --> 00:21:51,270 I remember Tahiti. 509 00:21:51,370 --> 00:21:53,040 Thank you. All right, so I don't understand 510 00:21:53,140 --> 00:21:55,310 I thought Mabel would grow up and leave 511 00:21:55,410 --> 00:21:58,450 and I could just go back to being who I was before. 512 00:21:59,450 --> 00:22:02,280 I don't even remember who that person is anymore. 513 00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:05,350 That's a lot of years we just went through and- 514 00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:07,320 Okay, and I'll start with this, huh? 515 00:22:07,420 --> 00:22:08,790 You know what, we're really not hungry. 516 00:22:08,890 --> 00:22:10,160 Oh, just smell. Smell. 517 00:22:10,260 --> 00:22:12,560 Smells very good. Okay. - Have a- 518 00:22:12,660 --> 00:22:14,630 Okay. 519 00:22:14,730 --> 00:22:16,930 I'm so tired. 520 00:22:17,030 --> 00:22:18,500 My brain is tired. 521 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,900 My body doesn't work the same way it used to. 522 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,540 Everything hurts. 523 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,370 You remember sex? 524 00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:27,670 Vaguely. 525 00:22:27,770 --> 00:22:30,340 Well, hey, if you wanna go there, I am totally ready- 526 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:31,880 If you think Tahiti means a whole bunch of sex 527 00:22:31,980 --> 00:22:33,150 right away- - No, no, no, 528 00:22:33,250 --> 00:22:36,380 Tahiti does not mean sex. Tahiti does not mean sex. 529 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,620 Okay, maybe a little bit of sex. 530 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,290 A smidgen. 531 00:22:40,390 --> 00:22:42,190 Yes, I would imagine some sex would be involved. 532 00:22:42,290 --> 00:22:44,190 But you know what? 533 00:22:44,290 --> 00:22:46,530 You-you can't- sweetie, you can't- 534 00:22:46,630 --> 00:22:48,330 you can't take it all on your shoulders. 535 00:22:48,430 --> 00:22:50,760 Listen, I'm not the same guy I used to be. 536 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:54,770 Sorry. 537 00:22:54,870 --> 00:22:57,800 - You know, it - it's just part of life, right? 538 00:22:57,900 --> 00:22:59,310 I mean, people get older. 539 00:22:59,410 --> 00:23:02,840 You can't-you can't expect to have that same spark. 540 00:23:02,940 --> 00:23:04,950 You know, that's not possible. 541 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:06,410 What about Ira? 542 00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:08,350 He's your age. Lucia's like my age. 543 00:23:08,450 --> 00:23:10,180 Look at them. - Okay. 544 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,290 Totally different story. 545 00:23:12,390 --> 00:23:17,160 First of all, she's Italian. So, you know, factor that in. 546 00:23:17,260 --> 00:23:18,860 You know what I'm saying. But second of all, 547 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,030 they've been together, what, like a year and a half, 548 00:23:21,130 --> 00:23:22,300 two years? - Something like that. 549 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,770 Yeah, so, they're rookies. 550 00:23:24,870 --> 00:23:26,300 You know-and, keep in mind, 551 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:27,970 they're not - they're not married. 552 00:23:28,070 --> 00:23:30,200 That's-that's a totally different story. 553 00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:32,440 So, what, we should get a divorce? 554 00:23:32,540 --> 00:23:36,440 If you think it'll help the marriage, I would. 555 00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:40,610 Sweetie, Iyou know, there's no way around it. 556 00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:44,650 That-that great part of our lives, you know, the- 557 00:23:44,750 --> 00:23:46,720 the little girl that climbed into bed with us 558 00:23:46,820 --> 00:23:50,520 and we'd read stories and carry her into bed- 559 00:23:50,620 --> 00:23:53,360 Or, you know, hold her hands and swing her over the waves 560 00:23:53,460 --> 00:23:56,230 at the beach, and she'd laugh herself silly, 561 00:23:56,330 --> 00:23:59,670 yeah, that - that kid is gone. 562 00:24:02,870 --> 00:24:05,610 She's the love of my life. 563 00:24:07,910 --> 00:24:09,380 I know. 564 00:24:16,180 --> 00:24:18,090 Wait a minute, you guys haven't tasted that yet? 565 00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:20,550 Taste that! Your head's gonna explode. 566 00:24:20,650 --> 00:24:22,260 - All right. - Come on, maniga, mangia. 567 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,060 All righty. Mangia. 568 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:26,830 Look at you two. 569 00:24:26,930 --> 00:24:28,460 It's like "Lady and the Tramp. " 570 00:24:31,030 --> 00:24:32,130 That's so funny that you would say 571 00:24:32,230 --> 00:24:33,400 That's Mabel's favorite movie. 572 00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:35,300 - Who gave it to her? - That was you? 573 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:36,670 - Yeah. - Oh. 574 00:24:36,770 --> 00:24:38,240 I mean, come on. The dogs and the spaghetti. 575 00:24:38,340 --> 00:24:40,810 How do you beat that? Enjoy. 576 00:24:42,710 --> 00:24:43,940 You know we have to do that now, 577 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:45,780 don't you? - What? 578 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,220 The "Lady and the Tramp" thing with the spaghetti. 579 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:49,520 Ah, okay. Come here. 580 00:24:49,620 --> 00:24:50,980 You gotta - you gotta find the long one, 581 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:52,550 that's the trick to the whole thing. 582 00:24:52,650 --> 00:24:54,550 You gotta get an extra-long one. 583 00:24:58,990 --> 00:25:00,560 Why are we doing this? 584 00:25:00,660 --> 00:25:03,530 Because, as you may recall, 585 00:25:03,630 --> 00:25:05,200 when the dogs eat the same piece of spaghetti, 586 00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:06,330 it pulls their lips together, 587 00:25:06,430 --> 00:25:07,870 and when the lips come together, they kiss, 588 00:25:07,970 --> 00:25:10,840 and it's very nice. 589 00:25:10,940 --> 00:25:12,040 Yeah, all right. There you go. 590 00:25:12,140 --> 00:25:13,140 All right, that's something. 591 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,440 Okay, so now you take one end of it- 592 00:25:15,540 --> 00:25:18,280 Not with a fork. You ever see a dog use a fork? 593 00:25:19,810 --> 00:25:21,380 You take it in your hand. 594 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,420 Okay, all right. So you put it-there you go. 595 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,150 Watch, I'm telling you, this'll work. 596 00:25:26,250 --> 00:25:28,120 You put it in your mouth. 597 00:25:28,220 --> 00:25:29,220 And you gotta look away. Don't look. 598 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,220 See, you start looking away. 599 00:25:32,390 --> 00:25:34,630 Okay, you ready? 600 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,560 Mm-hmm. 601 00:25:46,810 --> 00:25:50,410 What do you have in like, a stronger noodle? 602 00:26:01,020 --> 00:26:02,060 What do you think Home office 603 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:03,760 - Works for me. - Yeah. 43386

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