All language subtitles for Leap.of.Faith.1992.720p.WEB-DL-HDCLUB

- Damn it, Erica,
hand that gun over to me.
- You were so sure you held

all the cards, weren't you?
So sure that you could just

- force me not
to file for divorce.
- [laughing]

Well, think again,
Adam Chandler.

[siren wailing]

[Adam] Erica,
the gun is my property,
and I want it.

[Erica] Not until I've had
a very good explanation.

Shit! Shit!

[siren wailing]

- [laughter]
- What's going on?

The drunk driving
in Atlanta, remember?

- [man] He see you?
- [driver] I don't think so.

Get up.

- Whose is this?
- That's mine.

I don't know.
Eighty in a 55.

You ain't never
gonna get away with it.

- Oh, ye of little faith.
- [laughter]

- Did you fix
that transmitter?
- Ready to rock, boss.

- What's going on?
- Turn me on.

- I'm just a country boy.
- [laughter]

- I'll cover that.
- Yo, Roger, frequency six.
Check your local listings.

- He's got a cold reading.
Ten dollar ante, who's in?
- I'm with my boss.

- I'm bettin' with Lucille.
- Praise you, Lucille.

I say he can't do it.
He can't do it.

Where's your loyalty?

Ooh, child, he looks nasty.

[man] This is gonna be good.
This is gonna be real good.

- [woman] What's a cold reading?
- [woman 2] Shh. Listen.

Is this beautiful
country, or what?

- How fast was I going?
- Eighty in a 55.

- Whoa. Really?
- License and registration.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Let's,
uh, see what we got here...

...Lowell. Let's see...

A playing card.
My only royal flush.
Signed by Shorty Caswell.

And, let's see, we got, uh...

License and
registration, sir.

[laughter]

Relax, Lowell,
where's the fire?

I'm gonna ask you
one more time, sir.

Do you or do you not
have the documents?

'Course I do.
You know, I got 'em.

I'm a law abiding citizen,
just like yourself.

The difference is,

I know there's more to life
than my nine-to-five.

If you knew that,
you'd still have a wife

and daughter to go home to.

Sir, put your hands
on the bus, feet apart.

Ooh. A little cranky,
aren't we?

- What's he doing?
- Going too far, as usual.
Big surprise.

Whoa! Gee, Lowell,
you could have at least
bought me dinner first.

We're gonna take a walk
over to the car, sir.
This way.

- He's going to jail.
- He stopped writing,
didn't he?

[laughter]

Oh, man.

Enough about me, Lowell.

It's not really me
you're mad at.

You're mad at yourself.

Because you lost the one person
who really loved you.

You have the right
to remain silent.

[woman] Frequency of names.

[Lowell] Anything
you say can and will be

- used against you
in a court of law.
- By decade, by religion.

I'm not talking
about your ex-wife.

You know who I'm
talking about, Lowell.

- [woman] Come on.
-I'm talking about...

...Cathy.

Cathy. Son of a bitch.

The guy has balls
the size of cantaloupes.

You think I don't know
how it is?

Risking your life
for minimum wage?

Never enough for those
pretty dresses or that, uh,

fancy summer camp
all her friends went to.

Then some rich asshole
takes not only your wife,

but your own little girl.

Have you seen her?

Can't say that I have,
Lowell. But I know people.

And I know she misses
the way you protected her.
Made her feel like a princess.

The way you smiled at her
the night of the prom.

The good times you had
teaching her the violin.

- The what?
- [laughter]

Violin.

Claire de lune,

we played that together.

No rich stepdaddy can
give her that, Lowell.

She hasn't called
in over a year.

'Cause you made her choose
between you and her mother.

Brother, you drove her away.

- Maybe I'll call her tonight.
- Tonight.

When I got a phone
right there on that bus.

You wouldn't mind?

My brother Lowell,

what are friends for?

- [cheering]
- [laughter]

And after I talk to her,
I'm gonna go up on
the weekend and see her.

- Thank you, brother Lowell.
- I can't thank you enough,
and thanks for these.

- Praise the Lord.
- Yes, sir.

- [woman] Did she win?
- [man] She won.

And he made a donation.
Unbelievable.

OK, I got the Wellesley decal
thing, I got the wedding band,

but a cop who plays violin,
what was that?

Red mark on the jaw
from the chin rest.

You know me, Janey,
I know people.

[Jane] Yeah, well,
I'll make it back.

- [man] Lucille's a winner.
- Just when you least expect it.

I always expect it, Janey,
that's why I always win.

All I know, if it wasn't
for you, I'd be playing
doctor with some car thief.

- What can I say, man?
- Just say, "Thank you, Jesus!"

[♪ Don Henley:Sit Down
You're Rockin' The Boat]

♪ I dreamed last night ♪

♪ I was on the boat to heaven ♪

♪ By some chance ♪

- ♪ I had brought
my dice along ♪
- [explosion]

- Hey, pal, you OK back there?
-[man] Something's blown.

- Yeah.
- What's happening?

Truck's blowing smoke, man.

- Next exit, let's get off.
-[man] You got it.

♪ And the people
all said sit down ♪

♪ Sit down
You're rockin' the boat ♪

♪ 'Cause the devil
will drag you under ♪

♪ By the sharp lapels
of your checkered coat ♪

♪ Sit down
Sit down ♪

♪ Sit down
You're rockin' the boat ♪

♪ As we sail ♪

♪ On that tiny boat
to heaven ♪

♪ Great big wave ♪

♪ Came and washed me
overboard ♪

♪ And as I sank ♪

♪ Oh, I hollered
"Someone, save me" ♪

♪ That's the moment I woke up ♪

♪ Thank the Lord ♪

♪ And I said to myself
"Sit down ♪

♪ Sit down
You're rockin' the boat" ♪

♪ People all said, "Sit down ♪

♪ Sit down
You're rockin' the boat ♪

♪ I said to myself, "Sit down ♪

♪ Sit down
You're rockin' the boat" ♪

♪ Sit down
Sit down ♪

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah,
this is the place. Nowhere.

This is nowhere.

Hey, what's up?

We don't get a replacement
part until Tuesday.

Yeah, we're talking
four days.

- Shit, we'd
clean up in Topeka.
- Well, I'm exhausted.

- We could use a break anyways.
- You gonna get one.

- We got no choice.
- [man] I always have a choice.

Set up. We'll play here.

Here?

♪ 'Cause the devil
will drag you under ♪

Here.

♪ Sit down
Sit down ♪

♪ Sit down
You're rockin' the boat ♪

♪ Sit down
Sit down ♪

I can smell trouble
like shit on a griddle.

Take a look at
what just walked in.

Dolores, you are
such a bone-hound.

Well, everybody
needs a hobby. Even you.

[laughs]

- Sit down here, baby.
- [indistinct chatter]

Whoa. They believe. Yes!

Marva, huh?
As in "marvelous"?

- As in my grandmother.
- Not for a second.

- I'm Jonas.
- Hi.

What's the matter? Something
got you down all of a sudden?

I never knew a problem a little
Chuck Berry couldn't solve.

It's broken.

Well, maybe I can fix it.

Life's too short
to go without music.

Why don't you try
a laying on hands?

Gee, I wish I could, ma'am,
'cause I know how Jesus
loves to rock.

[Dolores] Where's your manners?
He's a preacher.

Be polite.

Mmm. Corn relish.
I hate corn relish.

OK, first female
serial killer?

- Aileen Wuornos.
- [man 2] How many victims?

- [man] Eight with a .38.
- Special today, steak.

We're out of liver.
No fish, no ham, no spinach.

- Awful lot of
"no's" there, Marva.
- No lip.

I'll take
the diet plate, please.

- She wants me.
- [scoffs] Yeah.

- I think you should stick
with your Bible-boinkers.
- Jane.

A woman is like a slingshot.

The greater the resistance,
the further
you can get with them.

Besides, she's warming up.
I can tell.

I wonder what brought him
to the service of our Lord?

You know, Georgette,

to me, there's no thrill greater
than the thrill of preaching.

First moment, you wonder,
"Can I touch them?

Will they feel what I feel?"

Sometimes,
they don't feel it at first.

- That sense of longing,
of needing the Lord.
- [Georgette] Yeah.

You know how it feels
to really need something,
don't you, Georgette?

- Mm-hmm.
- Can I take your order?

Two chilies. Hold the onions.

But sometimes a person doesn't
even know what they need.

[Georgette] Yes.
Yes. Mm-hmm.

[Jonas] They wake up itchy,

hungry for whiskey
or money or food.

But what they
really need... is love.

Sweet, tender caresses
of the Lord.

- Amen. All right, reverend.
- Amen.

- May I take your order?
- Sure.

I'll have the KKK omelet.

- Whites only.
- [laughing] Get out of here.

I'm kidding.
I'll have a decaf and toast.

And I give 'em that love,
Georgette.

That, and salvation.

And when I say "salvation,"
I'm talking about the only thing
in this world that matters.

More comforting than a lover.

More valuable than
diamonds and gold.

Come on, preacher.
Come on!

See this?

It was a gift
from my sainted mother,
the year I graduated seminary.

- God bless her.
- Very nice.

[all gasping]

I'll get it.

[all gasp]

See, Marva, nothing
has value without salvation.

- He put it in the water!
- Just like it was baptized.

[indistinct chatter,
laughter]

- What's the date?
- Uh, two...
Hey, it's a small town.

- Someone could notice that.
- True. It pisses off the law

- if they think I got
a year's salary on my wrist.
- Come on.

The sheriff's name
is Braverman. He's clean.

Clean? Ugh.

Mr. Nightengale, "arbitrary"
is not an issue here.

We've got a 27 percent
unemployment rate.

- And I need 20 guys
for four days.
- Great, 26 percent.

Look, no new permits
until the plants reopen

or till our farmers
get some rain.

Till then, this town
can't afford a revival.
Sorry.

Oh, no.
I understand, sheriff.

You're just trying
to do your job.

No, Jane, he's trying
to restrict trade.

Listen, Braverman,
I got a room full
of New York lawyers

just dying to take on
some bush-league badge

interfering
with religious freedom.

Now, I got the fee,
I'll do the paperwork.

You give me the permit,
or I dial 212.

- Knock yourself out.
- I'll take care of it.

Don't take it personally, boss.

Just chalk one up
for the big guy upstairs.

So is all of this
absolutely necessary, Will?

[Jonas] Local law. "The Attack
of the Puny Brains."

Look, I kissed up to him,
I got the permit.

Besides, this one was
kind of cute for a change.

Now, concentrate.
Population, 22 something.

- Median family income, 21,000,
but that was two years ago.
- Cute?

He can shut us down.

I don't have to remind you
what our nut is.

[both] Thirty-five
hundred a day.

Every town, another puny brain.
I've been fighting them
all my life.

You give a little man a
little power, and suddenly the
schmuck thinks he's powerful.

Oh, yeah.
I've seen that happen before.

OK, main industries,
wheat and corn.

Ancillaries have had
massive layoffs
and the banks report

22 percent farm foreclosure
on account of five years
of dry weather.

And the motel guy told me
if they don't get rain
by this weekend,

this year's crops'll fail too,
so we can use that,
put it right in.

Would you stop drumming?
Jonas, stop!

- What a shit hole.
- Well this was your choice,
Einstein, so live with it.

Average education,
tenth grade.

- Richest family in town,
the Rayloves.
- Rayloves?

Twelve towns,
same situation
within 40 minutes by car,

- so you have to figure.
- Jane, I gotta get you a man.

You've been
on the road too long.
I'll tell you what.

We're gonna hire us a new Angel,
and I don't even care
if the guy can sing.

- You pick him.
- You finished?

It's time to get excited.

A town this deep in the
crapper's got nowhere
to turn but God.

♪ Paradise by
the dashboard light ♪

Kansas radio.
When the going gets tough,

the tough dial SOS.

And speaking
of things getting tough,

I've got someone here
who says he can help.

Jonas Nightengale,

a man who knows about
the value of spirit.

Thank you, Jerry Joe.
Thank you.

You know,
as I look out your window,

Rustwater reminds me
of my own hometown.

The drug store soda fountain,

the little movie theater,
the one with the real butter.

And it warms my heart,

so many people working so hard,
deserving so much better.

Well, I know how it feels
to see old man Raylove
driving around town

in his fancy car,
all the while thinking,

"Hey, I want me
a car like that."

The problem, Jerry Joe, is, uh,

we've got nothing
to believe in.

Can't believe in the community
with all the trouble

that's going on out there.
It seems sometimes

even the family. So, what
are you gonna believe in?

The biggest power,
the biggest man with the plan.

[shuts radio off]

Thirty seconds.

So I'm here, brothers
and sisters, to remind you

that tonight
at the Rustwater campground,

you, too, can be saved.

If you're already
walking with Jesus,

you come and celebrate
your faith
along with your neighbor.

It's been too long since
you've seen them anyway.

If you're still driving
that beat-up pickup,

eating macaroni helper
and day-old bread,

then you come on out
and celebrate
the miracle of faith,

the power of healing,
and you too can wake up saying,

"Thank you, Jesus!"

♪ I been lonely
I been cheated ♪

♪ I been misunderstood ♪

♪ I been washed up
I been put down ♪

♪ And told I'm no good ♪

♪ But with you I belong ♪

♪ Because you
help me be strong ♪

♪ There's a change in my life ♪

♪ Since you came along
Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Now, I don't mind
working so hard everyday ♪

[Jonas] Boy, your wife
is some character.
She was great to meet.

Listen, I'm Jonas Nightengale.
I want you to come down to the
Rustwater campgrounds tonight.

We'll have
an old-fashioned revival.
Lots of music,

lots of people singing.
So come on down,

and bring your wife
along with you.
We'll see you there tonight.

Bye-bye.

Thank you.

♪ But now I found you ♪

♪ And with you I'll remain ♪

♪ I been lonely
I been cheated ♪

♪ I been misunderstood ♪

♪ I been washed up
I been put down ♪

♪ And told I'm no good ♪

♪ But with you I belong ♪

♪ 'Cause you
helped me be strong ♪

♪ There's a change in my life ♪

Hey! What's your name?

Yeah, you go
to high school here?

No? Do you go to college?

♪ Now a man
A man gets crazy ♪

♪ When his life is all wrong ♪

♪ And a heart gets weary ♪

♪ When it doesn't belong ♪

♪ When the road gets rocky ♪

♪ Lord, you've got to keep on ♪

♪ Let the new light
come shining on through ♪

♪ I've been lonely
I've been cheated ♪

- ♪ I've been misunderstood ♪
- Tomorrow night.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Jonas Nightengale.

Here, I'll hold that for you.
How are you? Good to see you.

Tell you what. Keep your eye
on the squirt gun, all right?

One, two,

three! Gone.

- [laughter]
- Come to the tent meeting.
Miracles and wonders.

♪ I been cheated
I been misunderstood ♪

♪ I been washed up
I been put down ♪

♪ And told I'm no good ♪

♪ But with you I belong ♪

♪ 'Cause you
helped me be strong ♪

♪ There's a change in my life ♪

♪ Since you came along ♪

♪ I been lonely
I been cheated ♪

♪ I been misunderstood ♪

♪ I been washed up
I been put down ♪

♪ And told I'm no good ♪

♪ But with you I belong ♪

♪ 'Cause you helped me
be strong ♪

♪ There's a change in my life ♪

♪ Since you came along ♪

♪ I been lonely
I been cheated ♪

I tell you what.
I sink this one, you guys come
to the revival meeting tonight?

- [all muttering]
- Yeah, all right.

OK.

♪ But with you I belong ♪

♪ 'Cause you
helped me be strong ♪

♪ There's a change in my life ♪

♪ Since you came along ♪

♪ I've been lonely
I been cheated ♪

♪ I been misunderstood ♪

♪ I been washed up
I been put down ♪

♪ And told I'm no good ♪

♪ But with you I belong ♪

♪ 'Cause you
help me be strong ♪

♪ There's a change in my life ♪

♪ Since you came along ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[applause]

[Jane] Good afternoon, sir.

Sheriff Braverman sent me
to check for violations.

I just bet he did. Go right
ahead. We're clean. Go on.

Knock yourself out.

Great. It's a friggin'
hootenanny.

You've been very busy, Will.

- Just doing my job.
- Yeah, I can see that.

Well, it's been
a really long day.
Can I buy you a beer?

Tell me, do most of the cops
fall for your act?

[laughs]

- Yeah.
- I bet they do.

- Well, ma'am, sorry about
the drink, but I'm on duty.
- Ma'am?

No, no, no, no.
My mom is "ma'am."

You can call me Jane.

All right.

- Goodbye, Jane.
- Goodbye, Will.

Ah! Ooh! Ooh!
[laughs] Just kidding.

[knocking]

You have any towels?

Wow, nice room.

What's the matter?
You seem down.

Oh, I'm just
bummed about Topeka.

I wanted to see that breeder.

You can't keep
a Great Dane on a bus, Jane.

Why not?
It'd be great company.

Jonas, why don't you just
give this to me already.

You know it looks better on me.

You'll get it when I die.

Unless you kill me.

And it's in my will that way.

My offer still holds
for a new Angel.

Oh, yeah, right.
I can just see it.

"Wanted, single tenor
who shares an interest

in gourmet cooking
and mail fraud".

[Jane] So, what's new
with Miss Congeniality?

[Jonas] Nothing, and I'm
using all my "A" material.

How could she not go for it?
Everybody goes for it.

[Jane] So you strike out
for once in your life.

- I mean, what do you care?
- She's got me curious now.

It's like she's got
fuming down to an art.

Besides, it's a matter
of principle,
like, uh, a quest.

Sort of a "Holy Grail
of road pussy" kind of thing?

Eloquent as always.

[man] Tambourines, T-shirts,
bumper stickers, Bibles.

Tambourines, T-shirts,
bumper stickers, Bibles.

Tambourines, T-shirts,
bumper stickers, Bibles.

- Get your Bibles right here.
- [man 2] How you doin'?

- How you doin'? Come in.
- [indistinct chatter]

Let us sell you Bibles.

T-shirts, bumper stickers.

- Come on up.
- Come right in.

Come on! Bumper stickers!

- Come right in.
- [organ music plays]

Have you ever seen anything
like that in your life?

[man] Here you go.
Come right in.

- Bless you.
- Yes. Bless you. Bless you.

Come right on in.
Come right on in.

Come right on in.
Hi, how are you?

- Hey, how's it going?
- [man] OK.

Let's see what we got.

Hoov, where are you?

Ah. There you are.
Ooh, nice suit.

Guys.

Excuse me, ma'am.
Are you from Rustwater?

Oh, no.
I drove 30 miles to be here.

Thirty miles! That far.
What is your name?

- Emma. Emma Shlarpe.
- Well, Emma,

I have a great seat
right down in front
of the preacher for you.

I wonder, since you came so far,
would you like to have it?

- Oh, yes.
- Why don't you
just sit right here,

and I'll roll you
right on down there.

That's very nice of you,
young man.

Well, it's a much better view,
and this ol' chair

is a lot softer
than those folding chairs.

Thank you.

We've had nothing
but trouble with that old man.
He's mean.

He's got 80 yards
of electrified fence just
spittin' distance to the house.

You know, our kid's
gonna play over there,
and somebody's gonna get hurt.

And, wait a minute...

[man] Gives you a warm feeling,
like a pot belly stove.

[clears throat] Guy in cowboy
hat says he loves Jesus.

That's funny, I thought
they were just good friends.

Well, make sure somebody hits
him up personally, all right?

[man] Absolutely.

- [girl] You like it?
- [man] Yeah.

- [girl] I made it myself.
- Oh. Matt?

- You here alone?
- No. I'm here with my mom,

but if she catches me
talking to you...
I gotta go, OK?

But... Can I see you
after the show?

Nice to see you.

[Jane] Girl in glitter jeans
is pregnant.

Her mother's been beating her.

That's nice.

Where is she sitting? Oh.
Town's small, Jonas.

- Don't mention that she's
knocked up, all right?
- I'll be good.

Did you study my summary
on the old folks?

Yeah, and I pumped
the Grange ladies for
who's been sleeping around.

- They couldn't wait to tell me.
- Tiny, you got the smoke ready?

Uh-huh. What's Roger doing?

Tell him five shills is enough.
He ought to get out of there.

Come on, the Angels
will see him.

What's the deal with
the cherry hat again?

Uh, electric fence.

Visualize the fence
with cherries on it
or something like that.

What do you like,
this or this?

OK. You ready
to check your receiver?

I'm having an accessory crisis.

Testing, sibilance, one, two.

- Jonas, can you hear me?
- That's fine.

- Boy, are you a tough room.
- The dark gray, definitely.

You look gorgeous.

Always look better
than they do, Jane.

And now let's go give some
empty lives a little meaning.

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

♪ Ready as I can be ♪

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

♪ The spirit
will set you free ♪

♪ Are you ready? ♪

♪ Are you ready? ♪

♪ Are you ready? ♪

♪ Are you ready?
Are you ready for a miracle? ♪

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

- ♪ Ready as I can be ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

♪ The spirit
will set you free ♪

♪ Are you ready? ♪

♪ Are you ready? ♪

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

[Jonas] Are you ready
for a miracle?

♪ Jesus taught
the lame to walk ♪

♪ Destroyed the devil's plan ♪

Be strong in the Lord and
in the power of his might.

♪ Are you ready? ♪

Be strong in the Lord

and the power of his might.

Put on the whole armor of God
that ye may be able

to stand against
the wiles of the devil!

Come on, Hoov.
Come on, man. Goose 'em.

We got a cold audience
out there.

[Jonas] Yes, I'm ready. Yes.

I hear Satan knocking,
but he can't come in.

- Yes, sir.
- Come on, people.

Turn it loose.
Let him fix it and let him in.

Take it down just a minute,
Angels.

I got to talk
to these people.

All right, I got to talk
to these people just a sec.

- I want to tell you a story.
- Come on, this'll move ya.

[Jonas] About a man
from New York City.

A man named Thomas.

Now, Thomas lived
on Fifth Avenue.

Views of Central Park,
even from the bathroom.

Beautiful wife, two sweet kids.

But his life was a mess,
and you know why?

Because of the fear.

He was afraid
his business would fail.

Afraid his children would
fall victim to foul play.

Afraid his hair would fall out
and his wife would
stop loving him.

Afraid of death.
But death's a breeze.

You ever heard anyone
coming back to complain? No.

- It's life that'll kill you.
- Hey, Matt. Give your
people a wakeup call.

[Jonas] ...prisoner and Thomas
was a prisoner of fear!

- Amen, preacher!
- So he got himself
a lawyer for his business,

- a guard for his babies...
- Hallelujah!

...a $2,000 hairpiece

and a world-class doctor.

- But was Tom happy?
- No.

No! N-O.

Because when Thomas
finally came to me,

he still had the fear.

And the fear is bigger
than lawyers and doctors.

The fear is bigger
than money or real estate.

- Amen!
- There's only one thing bigger
than the fear, my friends.

Only one thing.

And that one thing

- is the faith.
- [cheering]

Faith that the universe
will need his skills!

Faith that his woman loves
what's in his soul,

not what's on his head!

Faith that his children
will be protected,

not by a man
with a .357 Magnum,

but by The Man with the 12-gauge

super-charged
grenade launcher of love!

- [laughing]
- And that man,
brothers and sisters,

that one man is one man,
and one man only.

- That man is Jesus Christ!
- [cheering]

- Yeah.
- And if you want to feel happy,

all you got to do,
if you want to feel loved,

all you got to do,
if you want to feel faith,

if you want to feel strong,
if you want to walk tall,

all you got to do,
all you got to do,

all you got to do is get saved!

- [cheering]
- Say, "Thank you, Jesus!"

- [crowd] Thank you, Jesus!
- Thank you, Jesus!

- [crowd] Thank you, Jesus!
- Say, "Hallelujah!"

- [crowd] Hallelujah!
- Lookin' good, Jo Jo.

...pumping through my veins.
I feel a healin' comin' on.

♪ I feel
a healing coming on ♪

Before I can do
any healin' at all,

I need to know you're
on the side of the Lord.

I need a sign of your faith.

I'm not asking you
to pay for this

beautiful music, no.

I'm not asking you to pay
for the word of God.

- N-O.
-What I do need

is some token that you believe.

[Jane] How about
that ruby ring?

That you belong to the most
exclusive club in the universe.

The club that only God's
faithful and generous can join.

- Then and only then...
- Come on, give me that ring.
What do you say?

...no one can keep you out
of the kingdom of heaven.

- You tell her
I'm gonna kill her.
- You're meat, baby.

OK, I'll be good. [laughs]

[Jonas] We are going
to pass among you.

Now, remember, the more
you give, the more you live.

- Praise the Lord, brother.
- [Jonas] People,
the Lord spoke to me tonight

to remind me
that he is searching
for some special people

to receive great rewards
in money and material goods.

And he wants these special
people to be saved right up here
on the stage with me.

It's sad out there,
that's all I have to say.

It's burgers tonight.

Oh, people,

the Lord is speaking
to me right now.

- It better be good.
-[Jane] Just relax.

Cherry hat,
section four, row F.

You sir, in the brown jacket,
I feel a burden you're carrying.

- Who, me?
- Yes, sir.

Now, stand up and tell me
if I'm hearing the Lord right.

You're having a problem
with your neighbor, am I right?

- I sure am.
- He's building a fence,
gonna harm your kids, right?

- Yes, sir!
- The Lord tells me...

- Amazing!
- ...make him your friend.

You talk to him and serve
him up your best fried chicken.

'Cause yours is the best
in the county, ain't it, ma'am?

- You know it is!
- Whoa, boy, I'd love
to get me some of that!

Come on up and thank
the Lord for his saving!

[cheering]

Section five, row A
is the glitter jeans.
Remember glitter jeans?

Sister, you're suffering deeply.

You're worried about your
little girl, aren't you?

- Yes, reverend.
- Stand up, darling.

The Lord tells me that a strike
unto any of his children

- is like a strike unto Him.
- Lord, I hear you.

- Please forgive me.
- Jesus forgives you!
Now say, "Hallelujah."

[crowd] Hallelujah!

Fishing cap,
section four, row F.

You, sir. Come up on stage
and be cured of your gambling.

- [man] Praise the Lord!
- [choir sings]

That's incredible!
Section one, pink mumu.

- She lost her job at the mill.
- And you, ma'am,

in the nice pink dress,
receive the Lord and you
will find another job.

- [gasping]
- [Jane] Section three,
first row,

- the white shirt, back problem.
- And you, sir.

Believe in the Lord
and cure your backaches!

[Jane] Same section,
yellow shirt, hearing problem.

And you, sir, in the yellow
shirt, come on up on stage.

Hearing problem.

Section two,
the blue-haired lady.
She's got arthritis.

And you, too, ma'am,
come on up on stage.

Oh, we're gonna help
some people tonight.

Ah! We are!

[choir singing]

- Oh, yeah, help me, Lord.
- [Tiny] This guy's got trouble
with his neighbors.

Then do it, let him fix it,
let him in.

- Ah!
- [applause]

Whew! I'm feelin'...
I'm feelin' something tonight.

- Preacher,
he's got a sore neck.
- Receive the anointing

- in the holy name of Jesus!
- [grunts]

- [cheering]
- Say, "Thank you, Jesus."

- This lady needs a job,
reverend.
- You need a job?

You need a job? Now you're
working for Jesus!

- Phew!
- He's a gamblin' man, preacher.

Well, get the strength
in your life.

Holy name of Jesus.
Praise his name.

This man can't hear
a thing, reverend.
Can't hear a thing.

Hear the word!
Hear the word! Hear the word!

In Jesus' holy name.

[choir vocalizing]

Welcome to
the kingdom of heaven.

- Arthritis in the
shoulders, preacher.
- Arthritis in your shoulders?

Take the hand
of God's right-hand man.

Believe in the power
of the Lord.

You believe
in the power of the Lord.

Raise your hands.
Raise 'em up.

Now wave 'em around.
Wave your hands like this.

Say, "Thank you, Jesus!"
Thank you, Jesus!

Someone over here just
been cured of their asthma.

- Hello, friend.
- She's got bone trouble.

Hold it, hold it,
hold it, hold it.
Take it down just a second.

Take it down just a second.
We got someone special here.

What's your...?
What's your name, darlin'?

- Emma Shlarpe.
- Emma, how long you had
trouble with your bones?

- Years.
- Well, God's gonna make
a miracle for you tonight.

Oh, Lord, I'm just a man
like any other.

But send a miracle
through my hands
to help my sister Emma.

[moaning]

Come on, Emma. Come on.
Show me the power of the Lord.

Praise God. Praise God.
Praise God.

- Get up, get up!
- Thank you, Jesus.

Come on, Emma.
Walk to me, Emma.

[crowd cheering]

Yes! Yes!

Ho, it's a miracle! Hallelujah!
It's a miracle!

It's a miracle!
Dance, Emma, dance!

- [choir singing]
- Oh. Say, "Thank you, Jesus."

- Thank you, Jesus.
- [choir singing]

[cheering]

Thank you. Thank you.
Thank Jesus.

- In the name of Jesus.
- [cheering]

[choir continues singing]

[cheering]

[Jane] Hey.

How'd we do?

About four grand.

Hey!

[knocking on door]

Hey, Tony, I'm dressing.

Sorry, pal.

[Jane] What is he doing here?

Well, well, well.
If isn't my new best friend.

Let's see, we've had the
fire department, we've had
the sanitation department.

What do we got now,
the Girl Scouts?

Nightengale, we both know
there's nothing
I can do legally.

I'm here man-to-man.

Folks have lost their jobs,
their land.

They can't afford
to feed their families.

So they sure can't afford
a con man like you.

Do a good thing.
Pack it up.

That's some plain talk,
Will, so I'll give you
a little in return.

- Good night, folks!
- [boy] Good night, sir.

Let's assume for a second
I was what you said I was.

Up in New York, they got
Broadway shows that cost

sixty-five dollars a pop
just to walk in the door.

Now, maybe you like the show,
and you leave humming a tune,

or maybe you don't,
and you kick yourself.

I give my people a good show,

plenty of music,
worthwhile sentiments,

and most of them go home
with a little hope in their
lives that wasn't there before.

Now, usually, I only play
towns that can afford me.

But, uh, what about towns
like this that really need me?

You don't care
what these people need.

Your truck broke down
and you're looking to cash in.

Ooh, a pissing contest.
Can I watch?

- I won't just go away.
- Now, that sounds good.

'Cause you owe me
that drink, Will.

Jonas, don't you have
something to do? Get on the bus!

Will, what's that guy
from the sanitation
department's name?

Seriously. Phil?
Oh, I called him Frank.

Anyway...
[continues indistinct]

[rooster crows]

[knocking]

[Jonas] Come on,
Janey, wake up, baby.

God! It's 8:00, Jonas.

Don't you think I know
what time it is?
I've been driving all night.

Wait'll you see this.

- Close your eyes.
- They were closed.

Come on, close 'em. Come on,
come on, come on, come on.
Pucker up.

Kiss. Big kiss.

- Whoa!
- Oh! [laughs]

Hi! Oh, where'd
you get him? Her? Him.

I found a breeder
in Clydedale.

I convinced him it was in
his best interest to open late.

So let's hear it
for insomnia. Hey, you.

I was worried about your
lack of companionship.

- What's his name?
- Well, he's real smart

and hung like a moose,
so I kind of thought...

- Jack from Neptune!
- Come on, come on!

- [laughs] I know, Jonas Junior.
- Jonas!

- Jonas! He's a good boy, too.
- He's great.

[laughs]

- [Jane] So here we'll make
"such" as "drought."
- [Jonas] All right.

[Jane] "Really" is "rain", and
we'll make "won't" "tornado."

- [Jonas] OK, try me.
- [Jane] All right.

"Brother Jonas, I'm wondering,

won't you tell me what
question burns inside
this woman's heart?"

She wants to know
if there's gonna be a twister
at her son's home in Wilmington.

- No, "wondering" is Wichita.
- Wichita. Damn.

- I really don't want to go
into this audience tonight.
- Why? You're good at it.

- Well, that's not the point.
- Relax. Pathos
isn't contagious.

Besides, the badge saw the
setup on the bus last night.

- We can't take the chance.
- Yeah.

- What'd you two do
after dinner, anyway?
- Nothing.

- I'm just greasing the wheels.
- Till one in the morning?
That's a lot of grease.

Ooh. Jonas,
your spies are slipping.
I was out till two.

You know how to play this,
Jane. Just watch your step.

Mr. Nightengale.
I'm so glad I caught you.

I was at your meeting
last night,
and I heard what you said

to that poor family
who lost their farm.

My husband lost his job
a few months ago, too,

and it's been pretty hard
putting food on the table.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that,
ma'am. Why don't you come
down to the tent tonight,

- and maybe I can help you
with your problem.
- Oh, heavens, it's not me.

I always say, "The best way
to forget your own troubles

is to help someone else
with theirs".

This is for that
unfortunate family.

Will you see that they get it?

I certainly will, ma'am.

That's mighty Christian of you.

Bless you.

[laughs] You try it
and you're toast.

Ah! [screams]

[laughing] Oh!

You're gonna get it now.

[screams]

[Marva laughing, screaming]

Hey, rev. Lookin'
for some souls to save?

You know me, I hate to see
even one get away.

Souls, that is.

Look what I brought you.
They say it's the best in town.

- Hey, kid, how about a game?
-Da.

- I thought you said
you had homework.
- I'll do it later.

Little Russkie, huh?

I ever tell you I was
East Coast Chess Champion 1971?

[boy] My sister's
a total slave driver.

- Go ahead and make your move.
- Hey, kid, what do
you think I just did?

[chuckles] That was a pretty
neat trick you did yesterday.

Well, you know what they say,
"The hand is quicker
than the eye."

So they tell me.

Nice move, kid.

Hey, Marva, can I have
athй glacй?

It's French for "ice tea."

- So where's your church?
- On every street corner
in every town.

- So you don't have a church.
- I have a ministry,

and if you ever sat through
church, you know that's better.

My grandmother used
to take me with her.

So you believe
in miracles, right?

Concentrate
on your game, Boyd.

I'd like to hear what
your sister has to say
on the subject.

I believe in life.

What it does to you,
and what you do back.

Never underestimate
the power of belief, boy.

With it, I've seen a mute
sing "Hallelujah"

and I've seen an old man get out
of his wheelchair and dance.

When you've got it,
you've got the power
of every ocean

and every star
right in your hand.

Without it,
you've got nothing.

Everyone you meet
is just another sinner,

and everywhere you go
is just another hell.

I'll be outside.

My sister thinks
you're a fake.

Well, maybe I am,
and maybe I'm not.

If I get the job done,
what difference does it make?

Well, you're gonna need
a miracle now, reverend,

'cause check and mateski.

[laughs] This town
is full of single women.

Why won't you leave me alone?

I don't know,
must be your money.

You know, Marva, I've seen a lot
of people lie to themselves,

but they don't fool anyone.

Lying, huh?
Your personal area of expertise?

That's not true. My talent
is telling people the truth.

Like that picture
on the wall in there.

That was just about the best day
of your life, wasn't it?

- One of.
- Sure it was.

You were young,
you were free,

still had that spark
in your eye.

Now, I look at you
hiding out in that diner,

never letting anyone
get next to you.

I'll bet the last time
you had a man was
when Nixon was in office.

How I live my life
is none of your business.
Now, what do you want from me?

I just want to know
how come you gave up.

A drunk truck driver
did that.

Four hours stuck in a crash
watching our mom and dad die.

Doctors did all they could.

Took tests,

stuck him
with needles a foot long,

all for nothing.

So he had me
take him to a preacher.

The preacher
got him up on stage.

When it was all over,
he was still on his crutches.

Now, do you want to know
what that man said
to my little brother?

He said that it was his fault

'cause his faith
wasn't strong enough.

Well, let me
tell you something,

all that boy has is faith.

So the last thing
he needs is another phony
messing with his head, OK?

And the last thing I need
is another snake-oil salesman

using my little brother
to get me into bed.

Hey, rev, how about a rematch?

Uh, sorry, kid, I gotta go.

[laughs] Can't
stand the heat, huh?

Got it in one, kid.

[Will] If I pick it too soon,
it won't sweeten.

If I leave it on the stock
too long, it rots
on the way to market.

Too much rain turns it moldy,

too little, it's hog feed.

Timing's everything.

Same as in my business.

You know, you gotta pick
'em while they're ripe.

Come on, Will, I know
you think I'm crooked,
so why'd you ask me here?

Well, you know
those programs

where they take delinquents
out to the woods

- and rehabilitate them?
- This isn't the woods.

Smart girl.

I knew you were
worth saving.

You've got too much
going for you, Jane,
to be somebody's front man.

[coach] OK, guys, let's go.

Pick it up, pick it up.

- Hey, rev.
- Hey, kid.

Watch.

My dad used to lift weights.

- He was state champion.
- That's great, comrade.
You gonna compete?

Yeah. All the events
you do sitting down.

It's just something
I got to do.

- You have anything
like that, rev?
- Something I've gotta do?

No, kid, I stick
with what I want to do.

It's a tough policy,
but it works for me.

Do you always jog
in a cowboy hat like that?

I used to jog in my boots.

What'd the doctors tell you?

The doctors have nothing
to do with my leg.

I'll walk if it's God's will.

Listen, kid, God doesn't
have a trucker's license.

What do you think,
you were chosen to suffer?

If you've done
everything you can,

doctors, therapy,
everything, that's great.

But if you haven't,
you better get off your ass,
'cause nobody up there

is gonna do it for you,
that's for sure.

Look, kid.

Everybody's a loser
one of these days.

Trick is not
acting like a loser.

I believe things
happen for a reason.

Fine.
You want to believe that?

That's great.
I'm gonna run.

[indistinct chatter]

[gospel music plays softly
in background]

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

I'm worried about
that two-man code.

Yeah, maybe, but that's
not why you're late.

Oh, these for me?

- [laughs]
- Can I read it?

Gidget goes Dust Bowl.
Fine. Have your little secret.

Look, um, Will said he's
got a surprise for you.

Something about
giving you enough rope.

Why don't you tell him
to go kick some shit.

There's not enough rope
in Kansas to hang this boy.

Besides, wait till
you see the pitch.

I've got a little
surprise myself.

- ♪ Oh, Jesus ♪
- ♪ Jesus on the mainline ♪

- ♪ Tell him ♪
- ♪ Tell him what you want ♪

- ♪ Lord Jesus, tell him ♪
- ♪ Jesus on the mainline ♪

- ♪ Jesus is on the mainline ♪
- ♪ Tell him what you want ♪

- ♪ Tell him ♪
- ♪ Call him up
and tell him what you want ♪

♪ Call him up, call him up ♪

- You tell him!
- ♪Tell him what you want ♪

♪ Call him up, call him up
Tell him what you want ♪

- ♪ Jesus is on the mainline ♪
- ♪ Tell him what you want ♪

- ♪ Tell him ♪
- ♪ Call him up
and tell him what you want ♪

♪ Call him up ♪

Whoa! Am I in
white boy heaven or what?

Yes! That was
beautiful, children.

Children? Hmm.

Now, I want to tell you
a little bit about myself.

You look at me, and you see
a man who seems a lot like you.

Well, all my life,
I've been different.

At first, it was a curse,

but soon I discovered
the blessing of my birth.

- [crowd murmuring]
- Now what was it, you ask,
made me different?

In an isolated cabin, deep
in the Appalachian Mountains,

Jonas Nightengale was born

with a caul about his face.

He told me his father
invented Teflon.

Some would say
it's an old wives' tale,
the power of the caul,

but I've seen some pretty
smart old wives in my day,

and they say a baby born
with the caul is given
the second sight.

The sight
inside a man's soul.

- Now Sister Jane Larson
is gonna pass among you...
- Brother Jonas.

[Jonas] ...and I want you
to ask her the questions
burning in your hearts.

And I am going to reach
deep inside mine

and find an answer
placed there by God.

What can Brother Jonas
do for you tonight, sir?

How much longer do I have?

Brother Nightengale,

can you tell me the answer
to our brother's question?

I'm hearing the voice
of angels, Jane.

Our brother's worried
how long he has to go.

- Praise be!
- [Jonas] And I say
to you it doesn't matter

whether you got ten years
or ten minutes.

What matters is that you
really live while you're alive.

So when God's chariot arrives,
you're ready to step on board!

- [cheering]
- [Jonas] Yes, sir!

I've been widowed
now about a year.

My husband couldn't handle it
when they repossessed the farm.

He killed himself
one night in the barn.

I just need to know,
has the Lord forgiven him
and welcomed him to heaven?

Our sister would sincerely
like to know about a loved one.

Well, I'll just give you
your answer, sister.

He rests with the angels.

He says God has forgiven him,

and he asks you to do the same.

[crowd murmuring]

When is it gonna rain?

This man's question
is really important.

Oh, boy.

You want to know what
every man, woman and child
in this tent wants to know.

[crowd yelling]

You want to know
when's it gonna rain!

- [crowd] Yes!
- Let me ask you this question.

What is rain, anyway?

Is it the sweet nectar
your crops are craving?
Is it tears of joy?

Or is it the rain
that falls on every life,

the dressing down
for your boss,

the harsh word
from a loved one,

- the bank pounding on the door.
- [crowd responding]

So when you say to me,
"Jonas, when's it gonna rain?"

Well, all I can say is...

..."When's it gonna stop?"

[crowd murmuring]

In the book of Psalms,
the 27th chapter reads as thus:

"The Lord is my light
and my salvation.
Of whom shall I fear?"

♪ The Lord is my light ♪

♪ And my salvation ♪

- The Lord is the strength!
- [music plays]

- The Lord is my strength!
- [music plays]

- The Lord is your strength!
- [music plays]

- The Lord is the strength
of my life!
- [music plays]

♪ For whom shall I be ♪

♪ God ♪

[Angels singing prayers]

I feel a healing coming on!

Whew! How many love Jesus?

- [cheering]
- Are you ready for a miracle?

[Angels singing]

♪ Yes, sir ♪

♪ The Lord is the strength
of my life ♪

- [all shouting]
- That is the word of God!

Yakity-yak, God's talking back!

- Hey, brother, how you doin'?
- Amen, brother! Amen.

Whoa, people! Ah!
Hallelujah, sister!

Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!
You are a slave in the spirit.

Receive the holy
anointing of Jesus.

Let Jesus fix it, brother. Hey,
somebody run! Somebody run!

- Me?
- You, brother,
feel the power of the Lord!

Celebrate the Lord, brother!
Celebrate the Lord.

- Yes! Oh!
- Hallelujah, sister.
Hallelujah!

- [woman screams]
- Praise Jesus. Praise Jesus.

You're not gonna
need this any longer.
I cast out your chains.

- [cheering]
- Amen!

[woman screams]
The sign of the cross!

- Look!
- He's in the room!
He's in the room!

He's alive! He's alive!
He's in me, he's in you!

I see him in your eyes! I feel
him beating in your hearts!

Touch Jesus!
Reach up and touch Jesus!

Nice to see you again, sister.
Hallelujah. Receive God.

Praise Jesus! Praise his name!
Praise the Lord! Praise Jesus!

Receive his holy name.

- Say, "Hallelujah!"
- [crowd] Hallelujah!

I've never seen a room
so full of God.

You stand up and say,
"Thank you, Jesus."

- Somebody say, "Amen!"
- [all] Amen!

[Angels singing]

- Oh!
- [Will] Hey!

- ♪ The Lord is... ♪
- Hey!

[Will] Wait a minute, reverend.

I want to testify.

- ♪ The Lord is ♪
- ♪ The Lord is ♪

[music stops]

I said I want to testify.

So, speak up, sheriff.

Before you leave
with your hard-earned money
in those buckets,

I want you all to know
where it's going.

Alias Jonas Nightengale,

born Jack Newton, does not
come from the Appalachians.

- He was born in The Bronx.
- [crowd groans]

The closest he ever came
to a church was The Mary
and Joseph Orphanage,

where he lived from
the age of five to 15.

Then he ran away
to begin a life of crime,

including convictions for...

...shoplifting,
possession of marijuana

- and grand theft auto.
- [crowd groaning]

All before the age of 18.

Then he was arrested
for selling fraudulent artworks

and passing bad checks.

Now, if you feel
you've gotten a good
night's entertainment,

then go ahead,
tip the dancing bear.

- [crowd murmuring]
- But, if you think this money's

going to a man of God,
you'd better think again.

[all shouting]

- [man] He's a fake!
- Ain't no way
he's a man of God.

[all continue shouting]

Brother Will!

Everything you said is true.

Absolutely true.

Yes, I was born
to lowly circumstances.

Yes, I ran with a bad crowd
that taught me
to smoke weed and steal.

- [crowd murmuring]
- I hung out in bars.

And I hot-wired cars.

I grew up mistreated,
so I lied and I cheated.

I learned hard crime
and I served hard time.

I have walked
that crooked road,

and I have danced
with the demon Satan.

I've been face down
in the gutter,

and looked up
into the face of God.

- Amen!
- [crowd shouting]

And I say to you tonight,
if you want to
give up the bottle,

who you gonna talk to?

- Someone who's never
touched a drop?
- [crowd] No!

And if you want
to give up womanizing,
who you gonna talk to?

Some pale-skinned
virgin priest?

- [all] No!
- If you want to give up sin,

and I believe everyone here
tonight wants to give up sin...

[all shouting]

...who can lead you
off that crooked road?
You need a real sinner, people.

A sinner of such
monumental proportions,

that all your sins
wrapped up in one

couldn't possibly equal
the sins of this king of sin.

- [crowd shouting]
- Because you know

if he can walk that
straight, righteous path,

if he can go from grift to
grace, from sin to sanctity,

from lowliness to holiness,

then you,
with all your everyday sins,

can rise up like an angel,

and ride that golden elevator

to God's own penthouse
in the sky.

[crowd cheering]

Hey, Jake! Jake Bradley!

Now, just yesterday,
the bank gave you last
warning on foreclosure.

How much you put in the bucket?

- Ten dollars.
- And Sadie McElroy,

you've got two boys
in junior college.

Your husband's been out of work
for, what, six months?

I put in 20, Will.
I need all the help I can get.

- [crowd] Amen.
- [murmuring]

I don't know
what to say to you.

You folks have been warned.

Right you are, Sadie, you
need all the help you can get.
And you, too, Jake.

All of you. I see your town
and I know what
you're going through.

But there can be
no price on salvation.

So I want you to take
back all your money.
That's right, you heard me!

Every last cent.
Bring those buckets out.
You take your money back.

Sadie, if you put in 20,
you take out 20. Jake,
you put in ten, take out ten.

Go ahead.

'Cause the Lord knows you
still have doubt in your hearts.

And without your faith,
I cannot deliver the word.

- Praise the Lord.
- For the Israelites,
he parted the sea.

To Moses, he spoke
from the burning bush.

And tonight, in
your hour of doubt, the Lord
God Almighty has spoken to me.

- [cheering]
- He said, "Jonas.

Jonas, expect a sign."

And if God's wisdom
is proven to you,

then and only then may you
support this ministry.

Because God don't
want no doubt money, no!

- [all] No!
- And I don't want
no doubt money!

N-O! Because doubt money burn
the fingers of the righteous!

And I, Jonas Nightengale,
will not be burned!

[cheering]

[crowd groans]

- Boss, you all right?
- Of course I'm all right.

Plant the twenties
before they leave.

♪ It's a highway
up to heaven ♪

♪ To walk there, you've
got to have a pure heart ♪

♪ It's a highway
up to heaven ♪

♪ It's a highway
up to heaven ♪

♪ No one can walk there
You've got to have
a pure heart ♪

♪ It's a highway
up to heaven... ♪

- Look, Jane...
- Try groveling.

It goes a long way with me.

I told you
I had a job to do.

Doing your job is one thing,

trying to destroy
a human being is another.

[chuckles] Nuclear winter
wouldn't destroy that man.

Oh, yeah?

Let me tell you something that
your snooping didn't turn up.

Do you know how he landed
in that orphanage?

- I assume his parents died.
- His parents?

God only knows
where his father is.

His sainted mother took
him out shopping one day.

Told him she forgot her wallet
and that she'd be right back,
he should wait on the corner.

Four days later,
he's there, waiting.

So the cops lug him off
to Our Mother of Neglect,

where for five years he waits
for her, still believing she's
going to come and get him.

Finally, he just wised up.

The jails are full
of stories like that.

Yeah. They sure are.

And that's why if Jonas
was wearing pantyhose

and pointing a rifle
off the book depository,
it wouldn't surprise me.

But he's not.

All he's doing is selling
fairy tales to a bunch
of people who thank him for it.

And the last thing he needs
is a judgmental asshole like you

throwing his past
up in his face.

[knocking on door]

Open up, boss, it's me.

This better be good.

[indistinct chatter]

Excuse me. Pardon me.
Excuse me. Pardon me.

Excuse me. Pardon me.
Excuse me. Pardon me.

The reverend
has just arrived.

[all shouting]

[man] God bless you, Father.

Praise the Lord!

You've outdone yourself.

He preached last night
that God would send a sign.

Friend, I've seen
a hundred signs.

A magnificent sunrise,

a green light when
I thought it would turn red.

But never have I seen
anything like this.

[Will] Ramsey, you were
watching the tent last night.

Anybody come in here?
Maybe switch crucifixes?

No, sir. Not a soul.

Praise the Lord!
It's a miracle!

- [all shouting]
- [cameras clicking]

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

♪ Ready as I can be ♪

- ♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪
- ♪ Spirit will set you free ♪

[radio] An alleged miracle
in the town of Rustwater,

whose population of 22,000,
in the last few hours,

has swelled
to over 31,000 people.

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

♪ Ready as I can be ♪

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

♪ The spirit
will set you free ♪

♪ Are you ready?
Are you ready? ♪

♪ Are you ready?
Are you ready? ♪

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

♪ Jesus went unto the well ♪

♪ And made the water wine ♪

♪ Raised up Lazarus
from the dead ♪

♪ Restored sight
to the blind ♪

♪ Jesus, man of Galilee
He walked across the sea ♪

♪ He said, "Greater
than this you shall do" ♪

♪ Gave power to you and me ♪

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

♪ Ready as I can be ♪

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

♪ The spirit will
set you free ♪

♪ I'm ready
I'm ready ♪

♪ Ready, ready ♪

[woman on radio]
Rumor has it that the crucifix

can perform miracles.
A local man who sustained
a burn last night

says his wound had
miraculously healed by morning.

Of course, the big question
on everyone's mind is...

[Jonas] What are we
doin' about the rain?

[Jane] Tiny's having
some pamphlets printed
up on rainmaking,

so we'll use them.

You know, there's gonna be
some really sick people
out there tonight.

Seat them in the back so it's
harder for 'em to get on stage.

And we always have our
malpractice insurance.

[both] Only if your faith
is strong enough.

- Damn, this was a new shirt.
- Have you tried turpentine?

Yes. That trick's
worth it, though.

An oldie but goodie.

Jonas, have you had
any sleep lately?

Too busy to sleep.
Places to go and people to do.

How's the badge
taking all this, anyway?

I don't know. I heard he
couldn't get an art expert
out until Tuesday.

You heard?
Little lovers' tiff?

- Wonder how he got
so well informed.
- Screw you.

I'm not the one
giving out free samples.

I just feel bad is all.
These people are so broke.

Gee, Gidge, you feel bad
for the poor people, but
you want to keep their money.

What's a girl to do?

Move to Kansas?

Marry old Will
and slop the hogs?

Take it from me, babe,
you can't have it both ways.

I don't believe
I defended you.

I'm so sick and tired
of your manipulating.

Manipulators are sneaky,
I'm obvious.

- [door slams]
- And right.

[Will] You feeling better now?

[Jane] Yeah. I guess
I just needed to be alone.

I'll take that
as a compliment.

[Jane laughs]

It's before six,
I got to go.

Ooh.

Places to go,
people to rip off.

Oh, you should talk. Here you
are consorting with the enemy.

Yeah, well... [laughs]
I'm an easy consort.

You ever think about
settling down?

My mother taught me
never to settle.

You're fast
on your feet, Jane.

Someday, you may
want to slow down.

Well, sorry, Will,
I don't do slow.

Come on, I want
to show you something.

They travel over 2,000 miles
and end up here,

back with the same mate,
year after year.

What are you talking about?
I don't see anything.

They started
arriving last week.

There's only about
a few thousand right now.

What started arriving?
I don't see anything.

Watch.

[Jane] Whoa!

Wow! [laughs]

[laughing] Oh!

[both laughing]

- Ain't they beautiful?
- Oh!

- [laughs]
- They like me.

Fantastic!

[sighs, laughs]

Jane, I'm not
a flashy guy,

but what I promise,
I deliver.

I'd like to make you
some promises.

Will, you've known me
three days.

I'm a quick study.

[laughs]

By Tuesday,
you'll be gone.

If I had more time,
I'd take it.

Why don't you come tonight?
It's gonna be fun.

The crew has a bet going.

Everybody had to come up with
some ridiculous word or phrase,

and Jonas has to work them
into his sermon.

And if he doesn't do it,
then you win the pot.

So guess what my phrase is?

Aluminum siding.

- Aluminum siding!
- [cheering]

That's right. You can get
caught up in the frills of life,

the Samsonite luggage,
the Amana washer-dryer,

but you know
what's really important.
Don't you? That's right.

- Are you ready for the truth?
- [cheering]

- Are you ready for the word?
- [cheering]

All right, we got to get back
to that old-time religion.

Where the hell is she?

All right. What if I
told you that one good deed

would return
ten good deeds unto you?
Would you believe me?

Then what if I told you
that one righteous day

would return ten days
of good fortune?
Would you believe me?

- [cheering]
- Then what if I told you
that one dollar spent

in the service of the Lord would
return your money ten-fold?
Would you believe me?

- [cheering]
- Yo, I'm here.

All right, it's about time
for a miracle!

- [cheering]
- I believe, brother. I believe!

What is it, brother?
Come on up here, don't be shy.

You're among friends.
You want to testify?

- Yes, I do.
- What's your name?

- Calvin Tweedy.
- Calvin, go ahead.

I heard what
you said last night

about giving more
than I could.

I only had ten dollars
in my wallet,

but my wife Kate
made me give it all.

God bless you, Kate,
that's the idea.

[Calvin] Then, when you said
to take it back, I did that.

But this morning, I had
30 dollars in my wallet.

And I didn't have no
20-dollar bill before that.

Well, hallelujah!
It's a miracle! It's a miracle.

- It happened to me, too!
- Me, too! I got 40!

[Jonas] Well, hallelujah!
It's a miracle! We got
to turn it loose, Bruce,

and get back, Jack!
Brothers and sisters,
this Rustwater, Kansas,

- is some kind of holy town.
- [cheering]

I've never seen
such a demonstration
of the Lord's plenty.

- Somebody say, "Amen!"
- [crowd] Amen!

- Somebody say, "Hallelujah!"
- [crowd] Hallelujah!

Well, all right,
let's give some empty
lives a little meaning!

[music begins]

Oh, I believe we're gonna see
some serious miracles tonight.

Now, come on up
'cause I'm working for Jesus.

And he's coming through me
special delivery!
Hallelujah!

Hallelujah, sister! Whoa, whoa.

A fever is on me!
A fever is on me!

Whoa! Do you hear
the Lord callin'?

Fall into the spirit
of Jesus Christ!

Prepare to receive
your miracle!

Oh, I'm feeling
the power tonight!
I'm feeling the power!

Invite him in, sisters,
invite him in!

Somebody over here has just
been cured of their rheumatism.

Receive a fresh anointing!
Watch out, I'm vibrating!

I'm vibrating!
Oh, I'm vibrating with Jesus!

Oh! I'm feeling the power!
Come on, brother.

Well, let Jesus fix it.
You gotta let Jesus.

He's speaking
the language of the Lord.

He's speaking the language
of the Lord. Hallelujah!

- [crowd cheers]
- Fall into Jesus.

Angels of Mercy! Whoa!

I'm boxing for Jesus!

Oh, this room is burning up
with the fever of the Lord!

Hallelujah, brother!

Hey, rev.

Hey, rev. Hey, rev,
what about me?

I don't think I got
any more healing power
left in me tonight.

- Rev, what about me?
- That's it.

I'm all done in from
the service of the Lord.

Come on, say,
"Thank you, Jesus."
That's right. Dance, brother!

Dance, brother!
Come on and celebrate
the miracles of the Lord!

- [woman] What about the boy?
- [man] What about Boyd?

[man] One more!
One more! One more!

So glad you could make it.

I had to cold read 20 people
and I was not brilliant.

I think you got
a little problem here.

[crowd] One more!
One more!

- One more! One more!
- Take it from me, babe.

- You can't have it both ways.
- [crowd chanting]

[crowd continues chanting]
One more! One more!

[crowd continues chanting]
One more! One more!

[crowd cheers]

You asked for
one more demonstration
of the Lord's kindness.

One more show of faith.
'Cause that's what
this is about. Faith.

You got to have it
or you can't get healed.

- [cheering]
- If there's any doubt
in your hearts,

the Lord cannot
deliver his healing.

If there's even one
among you who doubts.

Like you, Brother Will.
I know you have doubts,

but even you must believe
because this boy's chances
of walking are in your hands.

[man] Amen.

[crowd gasping]

Brothers and sisters,
I ask you to consider

that tonight the fate
of an innocent

rests in the heart of a cynic.

[choir chatters indistinctly]

- There you go.
- Release your faith.

Hallelujah! Another miracle!
Hallelujah!

Have faith in Jesus!
Thank you, Jesus!

[all clamoring]

[reporters clamoring]

[Jonas mutters]

All right, are you gonna tell me
what really happened out there?

I've been had,
that's what happened.
I've been hustled.

- What are you talking about?
- I got to admit,
they got a great act.

The waitress and Tiny Tim.
That story about the trucker,

not just a trucker,
Janey, a drunken trucker.

- Details, the mark
of a great con.
- Forget it, Jonas.

Not those two.
They're not like you.

Come on, remember me?
I'm Jane, your partner in crime.

Did you get a load
of those rubes?

They're going
out of their minds.

I had to get the boys
to start clearing the tent,

or else those yokels
would have torn it down.

You ought to see
the money coming in.
It's through the roof, man.

[Hoover] All I know is that
by this time tomorrow afternoon,

we're gonna be all over
every television station
in the country.

Hey, do you know
what that means?
We could play here all...

So come on.
You can tell me the truth.

What is this,
an elaborate setup or what?

- [Hoover] Hello, Leon.
- What do you think?

- [Hoover] Great, man.
- Holy shit.

Jonas, I got to hand it to you.
I don't know how you did it,

but gettin' that kid in the act
was a stroke of genius.

[Matt] You give that kid
a haircut

and you put him
in some fancy clothes.

You put that kid on the stage,
it's money in the bank, man!

Maybe we could even
get him to reenact it.

[Matt] Do you know what we could
bring in in Dallas in one week?

One week? Seven figures!
Seven figures, man!

Jonas, man! What do you think?

Come on, Jonas.

- Do it.
- You're a genius, man!

[laughs] Genius!

Jonas, wait.

Listen to me.

I know we made a lot
of money this way,

and until now,
it's been great.

But I'm telling you,
this is different.

- Oh, come on, Janey.
- No.

Look, that is not one
of our shills in there.

Something happened. I don't know
what it is, but it happened.

- You're right about that.
- Goddamn it, Jonas!

You can't take this
away from him.

And you can't make him
into a sideshow.

You think not?

Oh, wow! You just really
don't give a shit

about anybody
or anything, do you?

Janey, I never
pretended I did.

God, you're right.

You never did.

You still don't care
who you hurt.

See how this feels.

Jane!

Janey!

Hey, boss.

Remember me?

Jack Newton.

I've got a question for you.

Why'd you make
so many suckers?

You say, "Love never endeth."

Well, I say love never starteth!

You say, "The meek
shall inherit the earth."

And I say the only thing
the meek can count on

is getting the short end
of the stick!

You say, "Is there one among you
who is pure of heart?"

- And I say not one!
- [Boyd] Rev?

Hello, Boyd.

Why aren't you out signing
autographs or dancing?

I need to ask you a question.

Um, I want to know
when you plan to leave town.

Leave?
A couple of days, I guess.

Well, I... I wanted to know
if I could go with you.

- Well...
- I can do a lot of things.
I'll earn my keep.

You're a little too old
to be running away with
the circus, aren't you, kid?

No, it... it's not that.

Like... you made me
walk again, OK?

A lot of people tried
to do that, but they couldn't.

Hold it, kid. I had nothing
to do with you walking.

Sure, you did.
Everybody saw it.

Look, I run a show here.
It's a lot of smoke and noise,

and it's strictly
for the suckers.

I've been pulling one
kind of scam or another
since I was your age.

And if there's
one thing I know,

it's how to spot
the genuine article.

Because that's what you
got to watch out for.

Not the cops. You can
always get around the cops.

But the one thing you can
never, ever get around

is the genuine article.
And you, kid,

are the genuine article.

Are you saying
you think you're a fake?

I know I'm a fake.

Well, what difference does
it make if you get the job done?

Kid,

it makes all the
difference in the world.

Boyd?

Everyone's looking for you.

OK.

Well, what do you think?

All right, kid,
I'll tell you what.

I'll meet you in front
of the diner tomorrow
at ten in the morning.

So I'll see you then.

I'll be back in a bit.

I want to thank you.

I don't know why
my brother's walking,

but I'll be grateful
for the rest of my life.

Marva...

Tomorrow at ten
in the morning,
your little brother's

gonna be standing on the
sidewalk in front of the diner.

- Would you give him
a message for me?
- Yeah.

Would you tell him

that just because
a person didn't show up,

doesn't mean that the person
doesn't care about him.

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

[indistinct chatter]

Have you read it?
OK, we're gonna
go over it again, OK?

"The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want..."

- Here you go.
- Oh, thank you.

Come on back for seconds.

[baby crying]

Jane?

- You OK?
- Hi.

[brakes squealing]

Thanks.

Souvenir. It was someone
I once knew.

- Where you headed?
- Pensacola, Florida.

Never been there.

Are you in some kind
of trouble?

No, no, no, no, sir.

Maybe for the first time
in my life, I'm not.

[rain pattering]

Well, damn.
Would you look at that.

[thunder crashes]

[laughs]

Yes, sir!

Yes, sir!

[baby cooing]

[thunder rumbles]

[cow mooing]

[whinnies]

Praise Jesus.

[Jonas] Come on, baby!

Come on, baby, rain!

Rain!

Thank you, Jesus!

Whooo-hooo!

Whoo-hooo!

[♪Jesus On The Mainline]

♪ Well, Jesus is
on the mainline ♪

♪ My Jesus
is on the mainline ♪

♪ My Jesus is
on the mainline ♪

♪ You got to call him up
and tell him what you want ♪

♪ Call him up
Call him up ♪

♪ Tell him what you want ♪

♪ Call him up
Call him up ♪

♪ Tell him what you want ♪

- ♪ Call Jesus ♪
- ♪ Call him up ♪

♪ Tell him what you want ♪

♪ Call him up
and tell him what you want ♪

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

♪ Ready as I can be ♪

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

♪ The spirit
will set you free ♪

♪ Are you ready?
Are you ready? ♪

♪ Are you ready? ♪

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

♪ Blessed be
the ones who mourn ♪

♪ For they shall
find their peace ♪

♪ Blessed be the ones
who thirst ♪

♪ And blessed be the meek ♪

♪ Are you ready? ♪

♪ Ready
Are you ready? ♪

♪ Ready ♪

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

♪ Ready as I can be ♪

♪ Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

♪ The spirit
will set you free ♪

♪ Tell me, are you ready? ♪

♪ Ready
Ready ♪

♪ Are you ready?
Are you ready
for a miracle? ♪

[cheering]

[♪It's A Highway To Heaven]

♪ It's a highway
up to heaven ♪

♪ To walk there, you've
got to have a pure heart ♪

♪ It's a highway
up to heaven ♪

♪ Walking on
that king's highway ♪

♪ It's a highway
up to heaven ♪

♪ No one can walk there
You've got to have
a pure heart ♪

♪ It's a highway
up to heaven ♪

♪ Walking on
that king's highway ♪

♪ Walking on
the king's highway ♪

♪ Walking on
the king's highway ♪

♪ Walking on
the king's highway ♪

♪ Running on
the king's highway ♪

♪ Hallelujah
Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

♪ Walking ♪

♪ Walking ♪

♪ I'm gonna keep on singing ♪

- ♪ Shouting ♪
- ♪ Shouting ♪

♪ Walking, walking
Singing, shouting ♪

♪ walking, walking, singing
Shouting ♪

♪ Walking, talking
Singing, shouting ♪

♪ Walking, walking ♪

♪ Singing ♪

♪ I'm gonna keep on walking ♪

♪ On the king's highway ♪

- ♪ Walking ♪
- ♪ Walking ♪

- ♪ Singing ♪
- ♪ Keep on walking ♪

- ♪ Singing ♪
- ♪ Walking ♪

♪ Talking, singing, shouting
Walking, talking, singing ♪

♪ Talking, walking
Singing, shouting ♪

♪ Walking on the
king's highway ♪

[cheering]

[woman] Hallelujah!

Oh, bless you!

Whoa! Hallelujah!