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1
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:40,041
Find a good hiding place.
2
00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,072
Good job, boys.
3
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:12,367
Eye contact is very important
when trying to seduce your partner.
4
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:15,537
It's the most overlooked step by virgins,
so remember this for your first time.
5
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:16,663
Yeah, yeah, we get it.
6
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,333
Look at them
before you fuck their brains out.
7
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,542
Now, can we move on to the sex positions?
8
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,963
'Cause that's what I paid $80 for.
9
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:26,715
Actually, that's what I paid $80 for.
10
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,672
Yeah, don't worry, Jack.
I'll pay you back, I'll pay you back.
11
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,132
You boys can figure this out later.
12
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:33,180
Right now, I want you to pretend
that Bailey is a girl from class
13
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,598
that you brought home to your room.
14
00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:36,391
Show me how you would seduce her.
15
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,269
Jack, you go first.
16
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,907
Hey. Hey there, Bailey.
17
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,068
Um, how was school for you today?
18
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,488
For me, it was okay.
19
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:56,496
I had a stomach ache, though.
20
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,540
But the nurse just said I ate too much.
21
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,041
What are you doing?
22
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,589
Take off your shirt already.
23
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,334
Come on.
24
00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:09,592
Yeah. Yeah.
25
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,175
Sorry my chest is so smooth.
26
00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,429
I can't grow any chest hair.
27
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,605
She's losing interest
and is about to call for a ride home.
28
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,690
What are you gonna do to make her stay?
29
00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,527
Come on, you've got this, you've got this.
30
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,444
Oh, my fucking God.
31
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:30,696
Okay, Jack, that's enough.
32
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:34,158
Not one girl is gonna wanna sleep with you
with that lack of confidence.
33
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,743
You need to work on that.
Duncan, your turn.
34
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,996
- Good luck.
- I don't need luck.
35
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:43,505
Scarlett, play some music.
36
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,757
That's a nice touch.
37
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,313
Hey, little sexy.
38
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,057
Whoo!
39
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:07,771
Yeah, yeah, you like what you see?
40
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:08,855
Do you like that?
41
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,156
Whoo!
42
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:12,571
Wait, why were you wearing those?
43
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:20,325
Wow.
44
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,371
"Oh, my God, it's so big."
45
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,294
I know.
46
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,422
You ever been fucked
by a British boy before?
47
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,929
Huh? Huh? Yeah!
48
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:33,925
Yeah!
49
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,678
Uh, Duncan, that's a little aggressive.
50
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,476
Not all the girls get into it that quickly.
51
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,720
Scarlett, look at me!
52
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:41,521
I am the captain now.
53
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:44,144
Jack, get over here!
54
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,397
Show Bailey a good time.
55
00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:51,406
Oh!
56
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,988
Wait. Don't you think this is a little weird?
57
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:58,242
Jack, we're best friends, nothing is weird.
58
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,868
Okay, my time's up here, boys. Sorry.
59
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:03,955
Oh! Oh, God, I'm getting close.
60
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,628
What?
61
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:09,592
Happy last day in America.
62
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,211
Ah!
63
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,263
Did you just come?
64
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:22,433
Good morning, Glenbrook High School!
65
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,770
Well, I hope everyone's excited
for summer break.
66
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:27,518
I know I sure am.
67
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,104
Okay, make sure everyone
returns their books to the library...
68
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:33,277
Hey, guys, so this is
the ghost chili challenge.
69
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,285
Now, see, I put it...
70
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:39,574
Oh, no! Oh, no!
71
00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:42,032
Your new video is terrible.
72
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,954
It only takes one video to go viral.
73
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,035
- Fuck!
- Oh.
74
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,463
And here to read this year's
final morning announcements
75
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:52,551
is the captain of the football team,
Tucker Jones.
76
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,548
Yo, yo, yo. What's goin' on, everyone?
77
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,091
Tucker Jones on the mike.
78
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:59,141
Today's lunch is meatloaf
with mashed potatoes,
79
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:02,681
and if you're a vegan
for whatever stupid reason, it's salad.
80
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,685
Also, I just wanna address the rumor
that's been going on about me.
81
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,858
Yes, I did hook up with Jaclyn Wasinowski,
82
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:13,400
and, yes, she does have herpes,
but I did not contract it.
83
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,318
- Tucker!
- Marsha, I'm okay, all right? Relax.
84
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:16,399
Just stick to the paper.
85
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,826
Marsha, calm your tits.
86
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,408
Also, I just wanna
remind everyone that tonight,
87
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,952
I am having the sickest end-of-the-year party
88
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,246
celebrating my cat, Mr. Pickles,
89
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,956
hitting 10 million subscribers on YouTube.
90
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:33,918
Yeah. All girls welcome,
guys gotta be on my VIP list.
91
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,004
Okay, thank you, Tucker.
92
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,384
And that's how it's done, bitches.
93
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,805
Pussy-ass dick holes.
94
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,353
Did you get invited to his party?
95
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,472
- No, did you?
- No.
96
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:50,150
Have a great summer,
and well see y'all next fall.
97
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,024
Principal Raheem will see you boys now.
98
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,285
Sorry. Mrs. Cole said to come in.
99
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:05,994
Have a seat, boys.
100
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:08,042
I'm trying to finish something here.
101
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:19,387
Who the fuck told me this was easy?
102
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:24,805
Uh, Principal Raheem, what are you doing?
103
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:28,517
I'm playing a virtual reality game.
104
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:31,601
It's called Shit Swipe. It's very addicting.
105
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,397
You have to grab these little turds
106
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:38,902
and move them around so they match,
and it's really fucking difficult.
107
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:44,701
No. No, no. What's happening? Move.
108
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,333
It's frozen!
109
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,539
Fuck!
110
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:52,963
Stupid shit of a game!
111
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:57,126
Fucking stupid shit of a fucking game.
112
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:04,433
So, I hope you guys enjoyed
your stay in the States.
113
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,347
Did you get a chance to do some fun things?
114
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,891
Like going to Disneyland?
115
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,851
Yeah, we went.
116
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,644
Um, it was great.
117
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:13,725
A lot of kids, though.
118
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,477
And fat people.
119
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,562
Well, this is America, you know.
120
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:20,072
Did you go to any baseball games?
121
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,276
I didn't really know what was going on.
122
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,111
So I just cheered
when everyone else cheered.
123
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,074
So many fat people.
124
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:29,658
Yeah, but what about the ladies?
125
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:34,046
Did you get a chance
to experience any American girls?
126
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,629
No girls? Not even fat girls?
127
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,258
Nope.
128
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,385
I haven't had sex with one girl
since I've been here,
129
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:49,095
and I just know all my friends
are gonna just call me a "wankstain virgin"
130
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:50,269
when I get back.
131
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,982
You're a virgin, too, aren't you, Jack?
132
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,103
I don't think we need to talk about that.
133
00:07:58,603 --> 00:07:59,691
So you're telling me that
134
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:03,366
we have two foreign boys
who are both virgins?
135
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,121
Oh, I shouldn't laugh because,
136
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:15,829
you know, it wasn't easy
for me either with the girls.
137
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:19,419
When I came from India,
I would only find work
138
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,877
as a street performer
on Hollywood Boulevard.
139
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:26,306
I would play Wolverine,
Michael Jackson, Frog Boy.
140
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:30,845
You know, anything to make a few bucks
until I got my big break
141
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,188
and I became a high school principal.
142
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:36,645
Then, poof, all hell broke loose.
143
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,813
I couldn't keep the girls away, like flies.
144
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,315
I said, "Back off, bitches.
145
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,693
"Where were you
when I was Michael Jackson?"
146
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,650
Wait, how did anyone think
you were Michael Jackson?
147
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:46,826
And what's Frog Boy?
148
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,579
Wouldn't you like to know.
149
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:53,541
What I'm trying to say is that
if you can't get laid in America,
150
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,544
you can't get laid anywhere.
151
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:02,877
And if you're lucky like me,
you can go home to this every night.
152
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,505
Pretty sexy, eh?
153
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:07,968
I am watching you.
154
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,345
Don't get any ideas.
155
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,849
Shalonda is all mine.
156
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:17,224
And she is very good with her hands.
157
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,857
Anyway, enough of the cock teasing.
Here we go.
158
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:26,277
Here are your foreign exchange certificates,
159
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:28,530
and good luck to you, boys.
160
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,704
I hope I have been an inspiration.
161
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,072
Thank you.
162
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,448
Okay.
163
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,543
I hope you're de-virginized
when I see you next.
164
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:40,709
Send me a card.
165
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:44,379
Marsha, get that troublemaker Billy Franco
166
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,506
to come and take back his Shit Swipe game.
167
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,678
It's fuckin' broken.
168
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:52,345
Dude, I gotta get laid tonight,
just, somehow.
169
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,553
Good luck. Hiring a prostitute doesn't count.
170
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,475
I'm not going to hire a prostitute,
but you know what?
171
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,398
I'm not gonna rule anything out.
172
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,494
Jack?
173
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:21,246
Hey, Jack.
174
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,544
Hey. Hey, Kaylee.
175
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:27,213
Thank you so much for letting me
cheat off your test yesterday.
176
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,887
- I got a B.
- That's great.
177
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:40,015
Okay, well, see you, bro.
178
00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:43,063
Uh, what are your plans for tonight?
179
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,646
Um, tonight's my last night in the States.
180
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,067
What? Oh, my God.
181
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:50,151
I can't believe it's your last night
and we never got to hang out.
182
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,785
I didn't think you knew I existed.
183
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,829
Yeah, you're that cute British kid.
184
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:58,075
I'm South African, but I could be British.
185
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,540
Well, Mr. South Africa,
186
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,497
are you going to Tucker's party tonight?
187
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,586
I want to go.
188
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,044
Oh, my God. You have to go.
189
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,755
We have to make your last night here
a night to remember.
190
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,298
What?
191
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,300
Let me see your phone.
192
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:23,899
Okay, there's my number.
193
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,269
Text me so we can meet up tonight?
194
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,353
- Maybe we can even...
- Have sex.
195
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,442
I mean, that's what I plan on doing tonight.
196
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,900
Get off me, and I hope
you're talking about someone else,
197
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,404
because we broke up, remember?
198
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,111
Whatever, you'll come back.
199
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,664
- They always come back.
- Definitely not.
200
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:41,247
You look like you're 12 years old,
you know that?
201
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:43,456
- Okay.
- Why don't you lift something, bro?
202
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,333
Your arms look like ramen noodles.
I could slurp you.
203
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,001
Tucker, stop.
204
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,173
You wanna go, bro?
205
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,549
Saved by the bell.
206
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,881
Little bitch.
207
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:59,727
Hey, would you at least walk me to class,
just one more time, please?
208
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,472
Come on.
209
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:05,019
Okay, fine. But don't put your arm
around me.
210
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,442
I wasn't going to. Don't yell at me.
211
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,733
- See you tonight, Jack.
- I'll put it in my schedule.
212
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,318
Fuck you, Jack.
213
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,784
My sweet, sweet Kaylee.
214
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,244
What?
215
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,534
Nothing.
216
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,292
# Just leave me alone
217
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,583
# Meow
218
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,757
# In the dark, I wanna cringe
219
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,671
# I miss you so much
220
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:40,222
# In the dark, I wanna #
221
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,139
Oh...
222
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:46,440
Fuck.
223
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,736
That song was dedicated to
my cat, Sprinkles.
224
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,571
She was my best friend.
225
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:54,657
Okay, let's hear
what you're passionate about
226
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,151
with your final performance.
227
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,242
Duncan, you're up first.
228
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,917
Go get 'em.
229
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:14,336
Um, my final song is called,
230
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,756
Fuck What My Friends Say,
I'm Good at FIFA.
231
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,304
# It's FIFA time
So I'ma make you all my bitch
232
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,853
# So shut the fuck up
Or I'll put you in a ditch
233
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:30,438
# I play online, I win online
That's how I roll
234
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,772
# 'Cause I never lose a game
You think I suck? Hell, no
235
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:38,152
# I got a big dick
I know you're fucking jealous
236
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:41,496
# I'm a FIFA don, like in Goodfellas
237
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:42,989
# Haters getting mad
238
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,824
# But I'm the one with lows
239
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:47,452
# So if you're hating
You can go and suck my balls #
240
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,536
Stop.
241
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:52,374
Duncan, I really want you
to hit that note right there.
242
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:55,421
You're at the climax of the chorus
and everyone needs to feel that passion.
243
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,878
So do it again.
244
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,006
At the balls?
245
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,506
The balls.
246
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:04,310
# To all my haters
You can go and suck my balls
247
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:05,515
# Suck my balls
248
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:06,596
Like that.
249
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,057
- You want me to sing it?
- Yes.
250
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,312
# Suck my balls
251
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:14,605
# Suck my balls, suck my balls
252
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,570
# Suck my balls #
253
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,405
You did it.
254
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:22,991
Bring it in, homie.
255
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:26,867
Oh, it's beautiful.
256
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,664
Everyone, give it up for Duncan.
257
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,247
A plus, plus, plus. Whoo!
258
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,415
And that, everyone, is how
259
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:38,006
you take direction
and turn it into perfection.
260
00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:41,634
Now, another song about
one of my other cats, Chip.
261
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:45,093
Yo, your pitch was a little off,
but the song was pretty sick, I guess.
262
00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:48,479
- Thanks, man.
- Shut up.
263
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:51,941
Duncan.
264
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,379
Hey, Tucker.
265
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,799
Can Jack and I come to your party tonight?
266
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,968
No, fuck no, all right?
267
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,553
My place is gonna be crawling with hotties.
268
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,934
I don't need two foreign losers
coming and killing the vibe.
269
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,102
So shut up and turn around.
270
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,114
Duncan.
271
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:51,576
Hey, Tucker?
272
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:53,953
What?
273
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,796
It's our last night, man.
274
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,253
And it would really mean a lot.
275
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:02,428
Besides, I'm really trying to get laid.
276
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,719
All right, look, the only way
you guys are getting into my party
277
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,301
is if you bring two girls with you.
278
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:09,927
Okay.
279
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,475
Hot girls.
280
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,101
Okay.
281
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:14,808
And not from this school, all right?
282
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,434
I wanna meet some new baes.
283
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:18,398
Okay.
284
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:21,443
Make sure they're hot
or you're not getting in.
285
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:25,781
They're gonna be so fucking hot.
286
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,741
Why would you promise Tucker
we could bring two hot girls?
287
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,950
Because that's the only way
we're getting into his party tonight.
288
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:35,248
But we don't know any girls,
especially hot ones.
289
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,080
Yo, I just got you past the VIP list
290
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,541
so you can see Kaylee tonight, all right?
291
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,422
The least you can say is, "Thank you."
292
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,965
But if I arrive at the party
with another girl,
293
00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:45,967
there's no way Kaylee's gonna talk to me.
294
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,135
Listen to me, okay?
295
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,804
If you want to have any chance
of seeing your lover tonight
296
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:50,976
and getting laid,
297
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:54,723
then you need to help me find
hot girls for this party.
298
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:57,479
Then, once we're inside,
you can go and see Kaylee.
299
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:01,604
Come on, bro, do you want to remember this
300
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,277
as the night
that you went to bed at 9:00 p.m.
301
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,406
or the night that you went after Kaylee?
302
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:10,533
Fine. I'm in.
303
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,740
Yes, my nigga.
304
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:21,546
Beth, your parents found
this disturbing drawing in your room,
305
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:23,418
and it concerns me.
306
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:24,718
Do you want to explain this?
307
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,924
That's me burning my entire house
308
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:29,848
with everything inside it,
including my parents.
309
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:31,801
That's what we're talking about.
310
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,973
My wife gave birth to a little demon.
311
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,766
Oh, now this is my fault?
312
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:39,066
Let's just try to focus on the positives.
313
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,479
As horrific as this image is,
314
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,690
your daughter is a pretty talented artist,
315
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:47,901
and you should encourage her
to explore her abilities.
316
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,027
She drew a picture of herself murdering us.
317
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,580
Maybe you should've gotten me that iPad
for my birthday.
318
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:56,918
Uh, Beth, blackmailing your parents
with death threats is not appropriate.
319
00:17:57,952 --> 00:17:59,920
Ugh, nobody gets me!
320
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,376
Why do you have to talk to her like that?
321
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,465
I enjoy it.
322
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,509
Boys.
323
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,091
How does it feel to be done
with high school?
324
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,423
It pretty much feels the same.
325
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:14,264
Lisa and I would like to take you to Chef
Nelson's Crab Shack tonight for dinner.
326
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:16,137
Well, and Beth, too.
327
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,643
- Yeah, you shouldn't leave her alone.
- What?
328
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:20,816
- Uh...
- We...
329
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,694
We kinda have a party tonight.
330
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,316
Oh, my God.
331
00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:27,649
Did you get invited
to Tucker's YouTube party?
332
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,738
Yeah.
333
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,244
Wait, how do you know about that?
334
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:34,405
Oh, yeah, well, you know,
me and some of the moms,
335
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:36,327
we have a FaceChat group at the school
336
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,909
where we get together and chat and gossip.
337
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:41,958
So, Jack, there's a rumor going around that
you have a thing for that Kaylee girl?
338
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:44,710
Wait. People know I like her?
339
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:47,380
Oh, my God, yes.
We talk about it all the time.
340
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,337
Ben's mom, Jill's mom,
they're kind of obsessed with you.
341
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:50,591
You're, like, their favorite couple.
342
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,139
We're, like, rooting for you.
343
00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:54,095
Actually, it is pretty obvious, dude.
344
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:55,388
Yeah.
345
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,311
Well, you can go to dinner
tonight before, right?
346
00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:58,930
Come on, it's Chef Nelson's.
347
00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:00,811
Best octopus and eight-course meals.
348
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,896
Oh, my God, honey,
they don't wanna eat your stupid octopus.
349
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,149
They've got a huge party tonight
to get ready for.
350
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,652
Tonight's kind of a big night
for you guys, huh?
351
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,534
All right, go do your thing.
352
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,614
- All right.
- Thank you.
353
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:16,948
But you know what? You have early flights
in the morning, so don't stay out too late.
354
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,203
We won't.
355
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,167
Those are some good boys.
356
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:21,665
They're just the best.
357
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,631
All my friends fucked girls
when they studied here,
358
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,500
I'm gonna be the pussy of the group.
359
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:31,383
Oh, man. We gotta find some girls, man.
360
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,759
Why don't you ask Tabitha
to come to the party?
361
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,056
She totally wants your willy.
362
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,597
Tabitha is a complete BLOB.
363
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:39,185
What's a BLOB?
364
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:40,805
You know the girl that
you'd never have sex with,
365
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,602
but when the night is coming to an end
366
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,686
and you run out of options,
you start to consider her,
367
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:50,236
and God, pretty much it's a...
Basic Last Option Bae. BLOB.
368
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,320
You've never had sex.
369
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,868
Yeah, but I've thought about it,
370
00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:57,158
and, oh, no, no, she's definitely a BLOB.
371
00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,491
Kaylee gave me her number today.
372
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,411
How long do you think I should wait
before I text her?
373
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:04,875
I don't know, three hours?
374
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,965
Too late, I already sent it.
375
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:12,173
Well, let's pretend Kaylee doesn't exist
for two seconds.
376
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,506
Where would you go to find hot girls?
377
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:17,801
I told you, why don't you bring
the BLOB and one of her friends?
378
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,972
But Tucker said they can't be
from our school, remember?
379
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,180
How are we supposed to do that?
380
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,567
It's your brother.
381
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:33,361
- What's up, nigga?
- Freddie, my nigga.
382
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,990
- Will you look at this nigga?
- What the fuck are you doing?
383
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,698
Whoa! You can't say that, bro.
384
00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:40,326
I'm really sorry about that.
That came out racist.
385
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,750
- I'm not racist.
- Jesus fucking Christ.
386
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:43,868
I have black friends.
387
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:46,921
I'm picking you up from the airport tomorrow
'cause Mom and Dad are busy.
388
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:49,669
All right, that's great,
but something more important has come up.
389
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,713
Pretty much, we need to find hot girls
for this party tonight.
390
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:53,760
Got any ideas?
391
00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:56,717
Looks like the virgin needs help
from his younger brother.
392
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,177
You wish I was a virgin,
393
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,976
'cause then I'd fuck you
and lose my virginity, bitch.
394
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,056
What?
395
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:03,724
I'm two years younger than you
396
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:05,556
and I've already had sex with three girls.
397
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,186
Where did you meet these girls?
398
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:10,486
I used this new blind dating app
called Blindr.
399
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:11,857
A blind dating app?
400
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,939
That just sounds stupid, Freddie.
401
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,816
Check it out. I just sent you a link.
402
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,492
Having trouble meeting girls?
403
00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:25,452
Do you do better with girls
when they don't know what you look like?
404
00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:28,079
Then Blindr is just what you need.
405
00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:29,375
It's so simple.
406
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:31,544
Just enter your information into your profile
407
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,212
and start blinding away.
408
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,965
- With its new patented...
- Pretty sick, right?
409
00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:36,587
Shut up, Freddie! I can't hear.
410
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:39,465
Here's what a real-life couple
has to say about Blindr.
411
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,429
Before, girls wouldn't even look at me.
412
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:42,476
But now, with Blindr,
413
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,224
I let my personality shine through
and I found my soulmate.
414
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:46,305
It's true.
415
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:49,770
I wouldn't have even talked to
a guy like Lance several months ago.
416
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:50,938
I mean, look at him.
417
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:53,899
But thanks to Blindr,
I've been seduced by his mind.
418
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,151
Thanks, Blindr.
419
00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:57,111
We can do this.
420
00:21:57,191 --> 00:21:59,444
You can even use our double date option
421
00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:01,325
to score a double blind date.
422
00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:02,446
Yes.
423
00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:04,908
Download the app for free and get blinding.
424
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:08,335
Because you know what they say,
true love is blind.
425
00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:10,546
- Sorry, Freddie, gotta go.
- Uh...
426
00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:13,040
This is perfect. Let's do it.
427
00:22:13,541 --> 00:22:15,339
I'm not into meeting people online.
That's creepy.
428
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:18,471
Come on, man,
that's how everyone meets people nowadays.
429
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:21,135
Besides, we're not
actually dating these girls.
430
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:23,013
We're just gonna
take them to the party with us,
431
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:24,100
and then we're in.
432
00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:27,353
Come on, Jack.
433
00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,810
If you're not feeling it once we get there,
434
00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:32,894
then we can easily just leave.
435
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,197
It's Kaylee.
436
00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:38,903
"Hey, Jack, what time
are you going to the party tonight?"
437
00:22:38,983 --> 00:22:41,155
Why don't you tell her,
"Sorry, I can't make it tonight
438
00:22:41,235 --> 00:22:42,452
"because I'm too much of a pussy
439
00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:45,664
"to go meet some girls
on a blind dating app."
440
00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:54,960
- Let's do it.
- Yes! Yes!
441
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,041
Downloading now.
442
00:22:57,501 --> 00:22:58,548
Okay.
443
00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:01,923
Yeah, it takes a while.
444
00:23:04,008 --> 00:23:05,009
Okay, we're in.
445
00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:08,096
All right, double date and name.
446
00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:11,143
Duncan and Jack.
447
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:13,396
No, we can't use our real names.
448
00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:15,440
Why not? We're leaving
the country tomorrow.
449
00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:17,196
People can stalk you.
450
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:21,237
Okay, fine, I'm keeping my name.
451
00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:22,864
What do you want your name to be?
452
00:23:24,153 --> 00:23:25,154
Thor.
453
00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:27,706
I've always wanted lo be called Thor.
454
00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:31,164
Thor is a pretty fucking cool name.
455
00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:33,420
All right, I am changing mine as well.
456
00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:34,959
I told you.
457
00:23:35,289 --> 00:23:36,415
Petrie.
458
00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:40,506
- Petrie?
- Petrie and Thor it is.
459
00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:43,430
- Nice.
- Okay, income.
460
00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:45,390
What's the highest you can put?
461
00:23:45,507 --> 00:23:46,508
Uh...
462
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:50,182
- Over $500,000 a year.
- Put that.
463
00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:53,102
The more money we appear to have,
the hotter girls we'll get.
464
00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:55,526
Jack, this is why I love you.
465
00:23:57,269 --> 00:23:58,482
Oh, my God.
466
00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:01,566
Thor and Petrie, high rollers.
467
00:24:02,733 --> 00:24:04,360
There is no way we're not gonna land
468
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:07,783
the hottest girls on Blindr
with this description.
469
00:24:07,863 --> 00:24:09,490
It's... It's foolproof.
470
00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:11,451
Let's start swiping now.
471
00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:12,663
Yes, yes, yes, yes...
472
00:24:12,743 --> 00:24:14,711
So, what are you looking for
when you say yes?
473
00:24:14,995 --> 00:24:16,917
Pretty much, it's just a numbers game.
474
00:24:16,997 --> 00:24:18,919
Yes, yes, yes. No one ever says no...
475
00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:20,251
It's a match.
476
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:26,799
We got a match!
477
00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:28,642
Yeah!
478
00:24:54,868 --> 00:24:57,458
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.
479
00:24:58,831 --> 00:24:59,832
Yeah.
480
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,589
Wait, wait, what does their description say?
481
00:25:03,752 --> 00:25:05,799
Uh, Amber and Violet,
482
00:25:05,879 --> 00:25:08,758
two hot girls that will rock your world.
483
00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:11,263
- This is amazing.
- New message.
484
00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:12,640
Oh, my God! They...
485
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,142
Oh, my God. They messaged us.
486
00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:17,062
"You seem like
just the guys we are looking for.
487
00:25:17,433 --> 00:25:20,105
"Can you meet us for dinner tonight?"
488
00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:21,649
New picture message.
489
00:25:21,729 --> 00:25:23,697
Holy shit!
490
00:25:24,648 --> 00:25:26,491
They're hot. Look.
491
00:25:26,984 --> 00:25:28,861
Tell them yes! Tell them yes!
492
00:25:29,862 --> 00:25:34,242
Uh, yes. Where at and what time?
493
00:25:34,992 --> 00:25:36,330
I can't believe this is working.
494
00:25:36,410 --> 00:25:37,707
New message.
495
00:25:37,828 --> 00:25:41,048
"Michael J's Diner in 30 minutes."
496
00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:42,917
I have no idea where that is.
497
00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:47,091
Yeah. See you there.
498
00:25:47,171 --> 00:25:49,390
Wait, now that they think we're rich,
499
00:25:49,506 --> 00:25:51,804
what are we gonna wear?
Rich people don't wear this.
500
00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:55,221
Don't worry, I've got us covered.
501
00:26:13,113 --> 00:26:15,366
Wait. How are we gonna get there?
502
00:26:15,449 --> 00:26:19,295
- Shall I call an Uber?
- No, we'll call a Boober.
503
00:26:25,834 --> 00:26:27,211
Your outfits are pretty cool.
504
00:26:28,670 --> 00:26:32,049
Why didn't you think of Boober
when we were thinking of ideas?
505
00:26:32,883 --> 00:26:35,386
I've never used it before.
506
00:26:35,511 --> 00:26:37,354
I didn't know it was like this.
507
00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:45,984
Hey, would you two fine ladies
want to go to a party tonight?
508
00:26:47,731 --> 00:26:50,571
Sorry, we're not allowed to
go anywhere with customers.
509
00:26:50,651 --> 00:26:52,403
I mean, it's only for a couple of minutes,
510
00:26:52,486 --> 00:26:54,784
and then you can just leave.
511
00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:59,330
They're not interested.
And no filming inside the Boober.
512
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,041
Maybe that's the one that goes viral.
513
00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:03,247
You never know.
514
00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:05,082
That's why you always gotta be filming.
515
00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:08,339
Here are your complimentary
Boober condoms.
516
00:27:09,753 --> 00:27:12,131
Have you guys ever tried
ultra-thin condoms before?
517
00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:14,219
We've never had sex before.
518
00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:17,929
What my friend means is that
we've had plenty of sex.
519
00:27:18,011 --> 00:27:21,226
It's just... We don't like using condoms.
520
00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:24,150
Okay, condoms prevent 99% of STDs.
521
00:27:24,852 --> 00:27:27,981
- Give me one.
- I'll look after these, you'll lose yours.
522
00:27:28,814 --> 00:27:29,940
Good idea.
523
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:33,902
- Michael J's Diner, right?
- Yeah.
524
00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:38,449
- All right, we're here.
- Thanks for riding with Boober!
525
00:27:39,616 --> 00:27:43,378
Michael J's Diner, where dreams come true.
526
00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:56,308
Are we sure we're in the right place?
527
00:27:56,967 --> 00:27:59,311
Yeah, I'm not sure about anything any more.
528
00:28:17,029 --> 00:28:19,031
Are you Thor and Petrie?
529
00:28:22,993 --> 00:28:23,994
Hello.
530
00:28:25,829 --> 00:28:27,000
Hi, I'm Thor.
531
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,081
Oh...
532
00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,919
- And I'm Petrie.
- Oh...
533
00:28:34,171 --> 00:28:35,969
Hi, I'm Amber.
534
00:28:38,884 --> 00:28:42,229
So, Thur and Petrie?
535
00:28:43,931 --> 00:28:45,103
Those names sound kinda fake.
536
00:28:50,938 --> 00:28:51,985
I'm fucking with you.
537
00:28:57,361 --> 00:28:59,533
I want to apologize for my friend Violet,
538
00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:00,785
she's running a bit late.
539
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:04,035
But, I promise, as soon as she gets here...
540
00:29:04,117 --> 00:29:05,369
...you guys are gonna love her.
541
00:29:05,452 --> 00:29:08,376
She's, like, really hot.
542
00:29:09,248 --> 00:29:11,421
I'm sure she's not as beautiful as you.
543
00:29:12,459 --> 00:29:14,302
Petrie, you are such a sweetheart.
544
00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:19,883
- So, tell me... Oh...
- You're such a...
545
00:29:19,967 --> 00:29:22,265
- You go ahead.
- Oh, no. Please, you go.
546
00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:25,685
You're such a sweetheart, too.
547
00:29:26,098 --> 00:29:27,975
Aw, thank you.
548
00:29:30,477 --> 00:29:32,104
So tell me about yourselves.
549
00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:38,077
Um, well, I'm from the British
royal family, adopted,
550
00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:42,573
and I'm here for
a really important business meeting.
551
00:29:43,031 --> 00:29:44,283
What kind of business?
552
00:29:44,408 --> 00:29:45,375
Oil.
553
00:29:46,702 --> 00:29:49,416
And what do you do at oil?
554
00:29:49,496 --> 00:29:50,622
I'm the president.
555
00:29:51,999 --> 00:29:54,343
I thought only Arabs were into oil.
556
00:30:02,092 --> 00:30:04,640
- I'm fucking with you again.
- Stop that.
557
00:30:06,847 --> 00:30:09,145
Y'all need to relax, okay? Shake it off.
558
00:30:14,146 --> 00:30:16,945
So, what about you, Thor? What do you do?
559
00:30:17,858 --> 00:30:20,202
I own a video games company.
560
00:30:21,194 --> 00:30:23,538
- Make video games.
- Oh, that's hot.
561
00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:28,460
Uh, but it's ironic
because he sucks at video games.
562
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,121
No, I don't.
563
00:30:31,204 --> 00:30:33,548
Dude, I destroy you at every video game.
564
00:30:34,624 --> 00:30:35,967
What are you doing?
565
00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:43,349
Well, I'm gonna go get us some drinks, okay?
566
00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:45,310
Be right back.
567
00:30:57,981 --> 00:30:59,653
So, clearly, Amber is mine.
568
00:30:59,733 --> 00:31:02,031
But you can have her friend
when she shows up.
569
00:31:02,402 --> 00:31:03,949
I'm not sleeping with
any of these girls tonight.
570
00:31:04,029 --> 00:31:05,201
I'm a faithful man.
571
00:31:05,655 --> 00:31:09,250
Fine, I'll fuck both of them. Threesome.
572
00:31:09,659 --> 00:31:11,707
You haven't had sex with a girl in 18 years.
573
00:31:11,828 --> 00:31:13,671
What makes you think tonight
you're gonna fuck two?
574
00:31:13,914 --> 00:31:14,881
Oh...
575
00:31:15,332 --> 00:31:17,505
I think she's on the phone
to her friend right now.
576
00:31:23,382 --> 00:31:24,349
Yeah, it's perfect.
577
00:31:24,466 --> 00:31:26,013
They're a couple of rich losers.
578
00:31:26,093 --> 00:31:27,470
You got the car running?
579
00:31:28,762 --> 00:31:30,856
Great, this shouldn't take long.
580
00:31:50,283 --> 00:31:53,913
Yeah? 20 million? No, I want 30.
581
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:56,920
I know the freaking Queen, okay?
582
00:31:57,457 --> 00:32:01,212
That sounds great.
Deal. I gotta go. See you in a bit.
583
00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:05,390
Sorry, I had a really
important business call.
584
00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:07,426
It sounded important.
585
00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:09,101
Here you go.
586
00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:11,730
What should we toast to?
587
00:32:12,389 --> 00:32:14,938
Let's toast to you and Violet
588
00:32:15,434 --> 00:32:19,314
going to a party tonight,
with us, after dinner.
589
00:32:20,230 --> 00:32:21,482
Is that an invite?
590
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:23,533
Y... Yes, it is.
591
00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:25,527
Yes, it is.
592
00:32:26,319 --> 00:32:28,572
What do you think, girl, you wanna go?
593
00:32:28,655 --> 00:32:29,622
Mmm, I don't know. What do you think?
594
00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:30,702
I don't know.
595
00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:32,284
We would love to come.
596
00:32:35,328 --> 00:32:36,329
To a great night.
597
00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:38,251
To a great night.
598
00:32:48,592 --> 00:32:50,469
Come on. Up, up, up, up, up, up.
599
00:32:51,136 --> 00:32:52,137
Mmm-mmm.
600
00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:56,107
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Yeah.
601
00:33:05,358 --> 00:33:06,325
That's really good.
602
00:33:09,154 --> 00:33:10,781
I drank way more than you.
603
00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:23,385
Yo, this is fucked.
604
00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:25,675
Uh-oh!
605
00:33:29,883 --> 00:33:30,884
Night-night.
606
00:33:56,368 --> 00:33:57,494
Why aren't they waking up?
607
00:33:58,328 --> 00:34:00,422
I don't know, Goose. They're your drugs.
608
00:34:00,997 --> 00:34:01,998
You used the right amount?
609
00:34:02,082 --> 00:34:04,050
Yeah, I used exactly how much
you told me to.
610
00:34:04,167 --> 00:34:07,095
'Cause the last time I used this drug,
they weren't passed out for this long.
611
00:34:09,214 --> 00:34:10,181
Okay.
612
00:34:10,757 --> 00:34:11,928
Are you sure they're rich?
613
00:34:12,008 --> 00:34:13,385
Yeah, their profiles said they were.
614
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,058
One of them's
president of an oil company, so...
615
00:34:17,097 --> 00:34:19,350
No, they look like
they're from high school, you know.
616
00:34:19,432 --> 00:34:21,685
This one looks like
he has no hair down below, you know.
617
00:34:23,395 --> 00:34:26,234
This soft white guy with a tight cheek.
618
00:34:26,314 --> 00:34:27,907
Very tight cheek, don't you?
619
00:34:28,525 --> 00:34:29,526
Yeah, you do.
620
00:34:30,026 --> 00:34:32,404
Hey, little boy, how are you?
621
00:34:37,576 --> 00:34:38,663
This black guy right here
622
00:34:38,743 --> 00:34:41,747
wants to play games
with Daddy, huh? For me.
623
00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:50,927
Are they even alive?
624
00:34:51,047 --> 00:34:52,674
Shh...
625
00:35:00,265 --> 00:35:02,267
That seemed to work. Yeah.
626
00:35:15,488 --> 00:35:16,489
Duncan?
627
00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:23,083
Okay. Shut up, shut up, shut up.
628
00:35:23,163 --> 00:35:24,585
Shut the fuck up. Okay?
629
00:35:24,873 --> 00:35:26,375
What do you want from us?
630
00:35:26,458 --> 00:35:28,631
All right. Listen here, little boy, okay?
631
00:35:28,752 --> 00:35:31,714
I'm gonna be asking the questions and you
guys are gonna be giving the answers.
632
00:35:33,256 --> 00:35:35,475
Jung-Hoon! Can you keep it down?
633
00:35:35,842 --> 00:35:37,844
I'm trying to watch Ellen.
634
00:35:37,927 --> 00:35:40,680
Mom, I'm busy, okay? Stop interrupting us.
635
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:43,813
Okay, sweetheart. I love you.
636
00:35:44,601 --> 00:35:45,602
I love you, too.
637
00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:50,114
Amber tells me that you guys are rich, huh?
638
00:35:50,857 --> 00:35:52,779
No, we're not rich at all.
639
00:35:52,859 --> 00:35:54,281
Oh, you're not rich at all?
640
00:35:54,361 --> 00:35:56,283
Then how come I got this off your neck,
641
00:35:56,363 --> 00:35:58,410
giant talking black homeboy?
642
00:35:58,490 --> 00:36:00,745
Drinking the juice in the hood, yeah?
643
00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:02,289
Fuck, man, that's fake.
644
00:36:02,369 --> 00:36:04,167
Shit, man, we're poor as shit.
645
00:36:04,621 --> 00:36:06,623
Man, we're still in high school.
646
00:36:07,165 --> 00:36:08,962
Liars, you told me
647
00:36:09,042 --> 00:36:10,669
you're president of an oil company
648
00:36:10,794 --> 00:36:12,671
and you said you create video games.
649
00:36:12,754 --> 00:36:14,427
We made that up to impress you.
650
00:36:16,549 --> 00:36:18,426
Amber, you dumb-dumb. You're a dumb-dumb.
651
00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:20,348
Baby, they're lying.
652
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:22,475
You saw them, they pulled up
in some fancy-ass limo
653
00:36:22,555 --> 00:36:23,807
at the restaurant, right?
654
00:36:24,057 --> 00:36:26,560
You betrayed us, Amber. How could you?
655
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,399
And where the fuck is Violet, huh?
656
00:36:29,479 --> 00:36:31,322
Does she even exist?
657
00:36:33,650 --> 00:36:36,489
This is what happens
when you send a woman to do a man's job.
658
00:36:36,569 --> 00:36:37,991
You know what I'm saying?
659
00:36:39,864 --> 00:36:42,287
A man? Oh, yeah, you think you're a man?
660
00:36:42,784 --> 00:36:44,411
Yeah, a man doesn't send
his girlfriend of three years
661
00:36:44,536 --> 00:36:45,624
to go kidnap some kids
662
00:36:45,704 --> 00:36:47,832
because he is too much of a pussy
to do it himself.
663
00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:50,383
Excuse me for a moment.
664
00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:52,627
I'll be right back.
665
00:36:55,088 --> 00:36:56,260
What are you doing?
666
00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:57,802
Yeah, I don't know. What am I doing?
667
00:36:57,882 --> 00:37:03,013
Okay, I'm wasting my life with some
out-of-shape, wannabe-gangster loser.
668
00:37:03,096 --> 00:37:04,517
The reason why
I'm out of shape is I'm out there,
669
00:37:04,597 --> 00:37:06,019
trying to provide for you, okay?
670
00:37:06,099 --> 00:37:07,476
I don't have time to go
to the gym, all right?
671
00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:08,776
I'm genetically fat.
672
00:37:09,269 --> 00:37:11,237
Fuck you, Goose. You don't provide shit.
673
00:37:11,604 --> 00:37:13,777
You're 37, and you still
live at home with your mom.
674
00:37:14,482 --> 00:37:16,701
Honey, dinner's ready.
675
00:37:17,193 --> 00:37:18,740
I'm not hungry, Mom.
676
00:37:18,820 --> 00:37:21,869
Are you sure? I made kimchi stir-fry.
677
00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:23,700
Your favorite.
678
00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:25,619
Oh, you did?
679
00:37:26,119 --> 00:37:28,963
- Help us.
- Don't say another fucking word.
680
00:37:32,208 --> 00:37:33,755
Mama, what are you doing down here?
681
00:37:33,877 --> 00:37:36,926
Oh, honey, I didn't know
you had friends over.
682
00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:38,381
How rude of me.
683
00:37:38,506 --> 00:37:40,345
Your friends should join us for dinner.
684
00:37:40,425 --> 00:37:41,426
No, thanks, Mom,
685
00:37:41,551 --> 00:37:43,598
because we're rehearsing
with our new boy band
686
00:37:43,678 --> 00:37:46,017
and the black guy is the lead singer.
He is very good.
687
00:37:46,097 --> 00:37:48,561
I'm tired of always eating alone.
688
00:37:48,641 --> 00:37:49,767
What if I die tomorrow?
689
00:37:50,393 --> 00:37:53,191
Then you will feel guilty
for the rest of your life.
690
00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:55,568
If you and your friends
don't join me for dinner,
691
00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:57,366
you're going to have to start paying rent.
692
00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:01,905
You guys hungry?
693
00:38:08,995 --> 00:38:10,167
You scared?
694
00:38:13,833 --> 00:38:17,929
You boys will love my famous kimchi stir-fry.
695
00:38:18,171 --> 00:38:19,923
Thank you, Mrs. Pak.
696
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:22,972
Sure, dig in.
697
00:38:32,769 --> 00:38:34,646
Mmm. Yum...
698
00:38:40,693 --> 00:38:41,694
Who's Kaylee?
699
00:38:43,530 --> 00:38:44,993
She keeps texting one of you guys.
700
00:38:45,073 --> 00:38:46,369
It's really beginning to piss me off.
701
00:38:46,449 --> 00:38:47,746
You leave her out of this.
702
00:38:47,826 --> 00:38:48,827
Oh...
703
00:38:49,118 --> 00:38:51,837
- How do you boys know Jung-Hoon?
- Yeah.
704
00:38:52,288 --> 00:38:53,835
I mean, Goose.
705
00:38:53,957 --> 00:38:55,379
Goose, Goose.
706
00:38:56,584 --> 00:38:58,086
Mom, I'm creating a new app
707
00:38:58,169 --> 00:39:00,388
and these guys are my new investors.
708
00:39:00,630 --> 00:39:03,349
Oh, I didn't Know you were
working on a new app.
709
00:39:03,716 --> 00:39:04,888
What is this one about?
710
00:39:05,176 --> 00:39:07,554
It shows the nearest street corner
where you can get drugs from.
711
00:39:07,637 --> 00:39:09,100
It's called Dealer.
712
00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:10,477
There's nothing out there like it.
713
00:39:11,724 --> 00:39:14,063
Supposedly, it's gonna
make us millionaires, so...
714
00:39:15,270 --> 00:39:17,484
If you need money, just sell your watch.
715
00:39:17,564 --> 00:39:19,942
It's a piece of junk anyway.
716
00:39:20,024 --> 00:39:23,028
Mom, this watch give me
major street credibility, okay?
717
00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:25,530
I cannot create an app
without street cred, okay, Ma?
718
00:39:25,655 --> 00:39:26,656
You know what?
719
00:39:26,739 --> 00:39:29,663
This Dealer app of yours,
it sounds a bit shady.
720
00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:34,081
How is it legal to assist
in the purchasing of drugs?
721
00:39:34,163 --> 00:39:36,211
There's nothing illegal about it, okay?
722
00:39:36,332 --> 00:39:38,379
Amber did research, okay?
Everything is good.
723
00:39:38,459 --> 00:39:40,340
- I googled.
- She googled.
724
00:39:40,420 --> 00:39:44,135
Well, can't the police just use that
to find drug dealers?
725
00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:46,304
That's not how it work, okay?
726
00:39:46,384 --> 00:39:48,011
Hey, why so many questions?
727
00:39:48,094 --> 00:39:51,518
Well, if I'm going to be
an "investor" in your app,
728
00:39:51,598 --> 00:39:55,774
then, surely, I need to make sure
it's worth my money.
729
00:39:55,935 --> 00:39:58,029
Oh, you getting aggressive, I like it.
730
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:00,774
Shut up, Duncan.
731
00:40:01,316 --> 00:40:04,823
I like this white boy.
He's soft like Macaulay Culkin, Home Alone.
732
00:40:04,903 --> 00:40:05,904
Do the... Oh!
733
00:40:07,614 --> 00:40:08,660
Hey...
734
00:40:08,740 --> 00:40:09,912
I'm not gay,
735
00:40:10,700 --> 00:40:11,667
but I'd do you.
736
00:40:11,910 --> 00:40:12,872
You always say that.
737
00:40:12,952 --> 00:40:15,667
You tell a guy you'd fuck him,
but that you're not gay.
738
00:40:15,747 --> 00:40:17,502
I know. I'm not gay, it's experimental.
739
00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:21,670
Oh, hey, look, Kaylee calling.
740
00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:24,381
Hey, Britain, you don't think
I can do a British accent?
741
00:40:24,839 --> 00:40:26,136
- I show you.
- Oh, great.
742
00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:27,759
I practice, ha. Wait.
743
00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,181
Hello. Oh.
744
00:40:30,261 --> 00:40:32,016
Jack, I texted you the address.
745
00:40:32,096 --> 00:40:33,769
1212 Rose Avenue.
746
00:40:34,098 --> 00:40:36,521
Let me check. Yeah, I got it.
747
00:40:36,976 --> 00:40:38,273
Kaylee.
748
00:40:38,811 --> 00:40:39,899
Okay. Cool.
749
00:40:39,979 --> 00:40:41,777
I can't wait for you to see
what I'm wearing tonight.
750
00:40:41,898 --> 00:40:42,861
I think you'll like it.
751
00:40:42,941 --> 00:40:45,280
Oh, that sounds bloody great. Cheers.
752
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:46,406
And one last thing.
753
00:40:46,486 --> 00:40:48,113
Kaylee, go fuck yourself, you bitch.
754
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:50,448
- What?
- How could you say that?
755
00:40:50,657 --> 00:40:51,658
Oh, you gonna cry?
756
00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:53,251
Huh?
757
00:40:53,910 --> 00:40:56,413
Hey, Mom, I have
to cut dinner a little short.
758
00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:57,873
I have some business to take care of.
759
00:40:57,956 --> 00:40:58,957
Okay.
760
00:40:59,290 --> 00:41:03,045
Hey, black guy, fudgy face.
761
00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:04,424
Stand up, you coming with me.
762
00:41:06,673 --> 00:41:07,720
Stand up!
763
00:41:09,008 --> 00:41:10,930
- He means you.
- Get up.
764
00:41:11,010 --> 00:41:12,432
Don't cry, Twilight vampire.
765
00:41:12,512 --> 00:41:14,851
Remember Twilight?
The vampire. White guy like that.
766
00:41:16,516 --> 00:41:18,018
Get in there.
767
00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:19,943
Little bitch.
768
00:41:28,069 --> 00:41:29,616
Listen up, jackass, okay?
769
00:41:29,696 --> 00:41:31,659
You gonna put in
your PIN number at the ATM.
770
00:41:31,739 --> 00:41:32,744
I'm gonna pull out the money,
771
00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:34,701
and then you're gonna act like
there's nothing wrong.
772
00:41:35,660 --> 00:41:36,661
Good plan, right?
773
00:41:37,996 --> 00:41:39,669
Do not fuck this up.
774
00:41:43,501 --> 00:41:46,425
Dude, you're gonna love
this Pineapple Kush, man.
775
00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:48,676
Is it gonna give me the best high?
776
00:41:48,756 --> 00:41:51,804
Last time I smoked this,
I watched conspiracy videos online
777
00:41:51,884 --> 00:41:53,806
for, like, six hours straight.
778
00:41:53,886 --> 00:41:54,887
Awesome.
779
00:41:55,471 --> 00:41:57,769
Here. Thanks for shopping
at Weed-N-Munchies, dude.
780
00:41:58,057 --> 00:41:59,058
See ya.
781
00:42:00,977 --> 00:42:03,981
- Hey, welcome to Weed-N-Munchies.
- Okay, whatever.
782
00:42:13,072 --> 00:42:14,540
Welcome to Weed-N-Munchies.
783
00:42:14,657 --> 00:42:15,954
Fuck.
784
00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:20,417
Hurry up, man. Let's go, let's go, let's go.
785
00:42:27,086 --> 00:42:28,258
Hurry up. Do it.
786
00:42:39,057 --> 00:42:40,400
Come on, guys, let's move it along.
787
00:42:43,853 --> 00:42:45,900
- Oh, shit.
- What's goin' on?
788
00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:48,653
Let's go, buddy.
Who doesn't know their fucking PIN?
789
00:42:48,733 --> 00:42:51,077
I'm sorry. I'm under
a bit of pressure at the moment.
790
00:42:51,235 --> 00:42:53,863
Would you guys quit butt-fucking around?
791
00:42:53,988 --> 00:42:56,953
I have a Blindr date. She's 420-friendly.
792
00:42:57,033 --> 00:42:59,536
Oh, somebody wants to fuck or something.
793
00:42:59,869 --> 00:43:01,246
Shut up.
794
00:43:11,964 --> 00:43:13,762
- Are you crying?
- No.
795
00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:15,594
You sound like a pussy teenager.
796
00:43:16,094 --> 00:43:17,141
I am a teenager.
797
00:43:18,429 --> 00:43:20,978
Look, we're not gonna hurt you, okay?
798
00:43:21,265 --> 00:43:22,437
As soon as Goose gets the money,
799
00:43:22,517 --> 00:43:25,066
we're gonna let you guys go, so suck it up.
800
00:43:26,896 --> 00:43:29,485
I should never have told Duncan
to lie about us being rich.
801
00:43:29,565 --> 00:43:31,237
Are you guys seriously not rich?
802
00:43:31,317 --> 00:43:34,532
No, I'm just an
unemployed high school student
803
00:43:34,612 --> 00:43:36,034
who's scared to talk to girls.
804
00:43:37,782 --> 00:43:41,161
And now I'm never gonna see Kaylee again.
805
00:43:43,412 --> 00:43:45,506
She thinks I called her a fucking bitch.
806
00:43:51,796 --> 00:43:53,924
Hey, Heather. I'm sorry I'm late.
807
00:43:54,006 --> 00:43:55,804
I'm behind these two fucktards at the ATM.
808
00:43:55,925 --> 00:43:58,269
- What the fuck?
- Who can't get their shit together.
809
00:43:58,636 --> 00:43:59,933
Motherfucker.
810
00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:06,939
- And it's done.
- Yes. Okay.
811
00:44:07,019 --> 00:44:09,488
I think these morons finally got it right.
812
00:44:09,605 --> 00:44:10,857
I gotta go. I'll see you soon.
813
00:44:16,612 --> 00:44:19,744
Hey, Bigfoot, I think your ATM is broken.
814
00:44:19,824 --> 00:44:21,667
It says it has a $500 limit.
815
00:44:21,826 --> 00:44:24,454
Dude, $500 is all
you can take out of that thing.
816
00:44:24,537 --> 00:44:25,789
We live in America, right?
817
00:44:26,164 --> 00:44:28,212
Have you ever used
an ATM before, dumb-ass?
818
00:44:30,126 --> 00:44:32,754
You have a problemo, amigo, huh, with me?
819
00:44:33,462 --> 00:44:35,259
Oh, you wanna go, Jackie Chan?
820
00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:38,262
Hey, there's an old saying,
"You wake up the sleeping dragon,
821
00:44:38,342 --> 00:44:40,060
"he might have sex with your face."
822
00:44:40,178 --> 00:44:42,100
Oh, calm down, guys, calm down.
823
00:44:42,180 --> 00:44:44,102
Dude, I just rolled this fat, sick joint.
824
00:44:44,182 --> 00:44:47,061
Let's smoke it, chill out,
have fun, be friends.
825
00:44:50,438 --> 00:44:51,439
Fuck!
826
00:45:14,921 --> 00:45:17,760
That's what happens
when you fuck with me, Goose.
827
00:45:27,225 --> 00:45:29,728
She's the most beautiful girl
in the whole world.
828
00:45:30,770 --> 00:45:33,865
Every time I see her, I get butterflies.
829
00:45:34,190 --> 00:45:35,908
Aw...
830
00:45:36,025 --> 00:45:37,743
That is so sweet.
831
00:45:38,694 --> 00:45:41,618
I remember when Goose used to
say stuff like that about me.
832
00:45:41,739 --> 00:45:43,992
But now all he thinks about is himself.
833
00:45:44,075 --> 00:45:47,124
Why are you still with him? He's so mean.
834
00:45:47,370 --> 00:45:48,872
I know, right?
835
00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:51,669
I don't know, he didn't used to
always be like this,
836
00:45:51,749 --> 00:45:53,592
like, he used to be more charming.
837
00:45:54,043 --> 00:45:57,008
He would bring me flowers
when I was at work.
838
00:45:57,088 --> 00:45:58,806
He would fuck me real hard and good.
839
00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:01,596
We would have dinner in public,
you know what I mean?
840
00:46:01,676 --> 00:46:02,928
Like, normal stuff.
841
00:46:03,135 --> 00:46:05,057
I still don't think you should be with Goose.
842
00:46:05,137 --> 00:46:06,480
You can do a lot better.
843
00:46:08,474 --> 00:46:09,817
Thank you.
844
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:11,602
You know what?
845
00:46:11,727 --> 00:46:14,731
When Goose gets back,
I'm gonna get your phone
846
00:46:14,814 --> 00:46:16,782
and I'm gonna call Kaylee,
and I'm gonna tell her
847
00:46:16,899 --> 00:46:18,617
you did not called her a fucking bitch.
848
00:46:18,818 --> 00:46:20,491
- You would do that?
- Yes.
849
00:46:20,945 --> 00:46:22,788
You guys are sweet boys, aren't you?
850
00:46:24,198 --> 00:46:26,579
- Fuck you.
- Why would you do that?
851
00:46:26,659 --> 00:46:28,457
What the hell? I just rescued you, bitch.
852
00:46:28,577 --> 00:46:30,625
You idiot! She was gonna call Kaylee for me.
853
00:46:30,746 --> 00:46:33,211
Well, I've stolen Goose's car,
so we need to leave now.
854
00:46:33,291 --> 00:46:35,339
What the fuck? What the fuck?
Where's Goose?
855
00:46:35,459 --> 00:46:37,381
Goose got in a fight with a crazy guy
856
00:46:37,461 --> 00:46:39,383
and got knocked the fuck out.
857
00:46:41,340 --> 00:46:42,592
He's gonna fucking kill us.
858
00:46:42,675 --> 00:46:44,222
Oh, my God. Not if he can't catch us.
859
00:46:44,302 --> 00:46:48,023
That's why we need to move
and get in the car now.
860
00:46:48,139 --> 00:46:49,265
Yo, what's up, people?
861
00:46:49,348 --> 00:46:51,646
Check out my new pimp ride.
862
00:46:51,767 --> 00:46:55,442
And in shotgun, we got Jack, the pussy.
863
00:46:56,355 --> 00:46:57,481
What are you doing?
864
00:46:57,606 --> 00:46:58,698
Dude, relax.
865
00:46:58,816 --> 00:47:01,365
Watch where you're going,
and I don't wanna be in your stupid vlog.
866
00:47:01,485 --> 00:47:03,074
Dude, I saved us both.
867
00:47:03,154 --> 00:47:04,622
The least you can say is, "Thank you."
868
00:47:04,947 --> 00:47:06,540
You stole a drug dealer's car.
869
00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:09,536
That's not all I stole. Pah!
870
00:47:09,744 --> 00:47:10,791
Why did you take that?
871
00:47:11,078 --> 00:47:13,957
Wait, let me think. Because, uh...
872
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:16,042
Fuck him.
873
00:47:16,459 --> 00:47:17,802
Great reasoning.
874
00:47:18,586 --> 00:47:20,054
Did you at least get our phones?
875
00:47:20,713 --> 00:47:22,511
Oh, shit.
876
00:47:22,631 --> 00:47:23,632
Let me get this straight.
877
00:47:23,716 --> 00:47:27,765
You made a conscious effort
to steal a drug dealers car and watch,
878
00:47:27,845 --> 00:47:29,809
but you didn't think to get our phones?
879
00:47:29,889 --> 00:47:32,062
Oh, Jack, come on, I had a lot on my mind.
880
00:47:32,350 --> 00:47:34,603
Fuck! We have no phones, no girls,
881
00:47:34,685 --> 00:47:36,403
and no way of getting to this party.
882
00:47:40,274 --> 00:47:42,652
- I don't feel so well.
- Wait, what do you mean?
883
00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:44,237
Pull over. I'm gonna hurl.
884
00:47:44,945 --> 00:47:46,788
Oh, fucking hell, Jack.
885
00:47:54,246 --> 00:47:57,250
Yo, don't be too long,
you know this car is stolen.
886
00:48:04,507 --> 00:48:06,555
Yo, space 'em out, Toph.
887
00:48:06,675 --> 00:48:07,847
It's gotta look fresh, bro.
888
00:48:08,177 --> 00:48:09,770
Bro, it's gonna look fresh.
889
00:48:10,096 --> 00:48:11,313
All right. Yo, look at me.
890
00:48:12,223 --> 00:48:13,686
No time for mistakes, okay?
891
00:48:13,766 --> 00:48:15,689
Fourth quarter. Game's on the line.
892
00:48:16,769 --> 00:48:18,942
All right? Peeps gonna be
showing up any minute now.
893
00:48:19,605 --> 00:48:21,152
You think Kaylee's
gonna take you back tonight?
894
00:48:21,941 --> 00:48:24,280
Toph, what kinda question is that, man?
895
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,198
Look at me, of course she is.
896
00:48:26,278 --> 00:48:28,576
Plus, I only cheated on her,
like, what, three or four times?
897
00:48:28,697 --> 00:48:31,287
And one of them was an HJ,
so barely counts.
898
00:48:31,367 --> 00:48:33,540
Dude, I remember that.
Didn't she almost rip your dick off?
899
00:48:33,994 --> 00:48:35,291
Yeah. Yeah, she did.
900
00:48:36,414 --> 00:48:37,376
Jackhammer Jillian.
901
00:48:37,456 --> 00:48:39,378
She was like... I was like...
902
00:48:39,458 --> 00:48:40,755
Bitch was crazy.
903
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,257
I remember the pictures you sent me.
904
00:48:42,378 --> 00:48:43,971
You got a big-ass dick. I'm kinda jealous.
905
00:48:44,255 --> 00:48:45,882
Yeah, I do. I got a huge dick, Toph.
906
00:48:45,965 --> 00:48:47,842
- You should be jealous.
- I'm actually really jealous.
907
00:48:47,925 --> 00:48:49,973
Yeah. Well.
908
00:48:51,137 --> 00:48:53,481
Thank God my dick's all healed up now.
909
00:49:00,521 --> 00:49:03,400
- Take me to 307 Butler.
- Who the fuck are you?
910
00:49:03,941 --> 00:49:05,943
Aren't you my Uber driver?
911
00:49:06,068 --> 00:49:08,366
No, I am not your Uber driver.
912
00:49:08,446 --> 00:49:11,040
Well, shit, can't you just take me?
913
00:49:11,490 --> 00:49:14,664
I've been waiting here 20 minutes
on my damn ride.
914
00:49:14,994 --> 00:49:16,621
You know what? I think I'm good.
915
00:49:16,704 --> 00:49:18,581
I've already got one guy trying to kill me.
916
00:49:18,831 --> 00:49:21,300
Come on, man. I'll give you 5 bucks.
917
00:49:21,750 --> 00:49:22,751
Fuck no.
918
00:49:23,335 --> 00:49:24,336
20?
919
00:49:27,339 --> 00:49:28,636
Oh, God.
920
00:49:35,139 --> 00:49:36,391
Who is this creepy guy?
921
00:49:36,474 --> 00:49:37,851
I'm not creepy,
922
00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:41,650
but I am fixing to go to
this killer party right now.
923
00:49:47,485 --> 00:49:49,198
Will there be girls at this party?
924
00:49:49,278 --> 00:49:50,616
Oh, yeah.
925
00:49:50,696 --> 00:49:53,245
There'll be tons of vagina there.
926
00:49:55,659 --> 00:49:58,663
Every bone in my body is telling me
that this is a bad idea.
927
00:49:59,038 --> 00:50:00,005
Jack.
928
00:50:02,208 --> 00:50:03,676
I know this guy might look like a...
929
00:50:08,172 --> 00:50:11,802
Creepy pedophile, but he may be our ticket
930
00:50:11,884 --> 00:50:13,056
to Tucker's party.
931
00:50:14,845 --> 00:50:18,600
Come on, man. Let's go.
We're missing all the fun.
932
00:50:19,683 --> 00:50:20,684
Trust me.
933
00:50:25,523 --> 00:50:26,777
If it's weird, we're leaving.
934
00:50:26,857 --> 00:50:28,859
Dude, come on, it's not gonna be weird.
935
00:50:32,238 --> 00:50:33,865
Okay, it's weird.
936
00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:35,282
Password?
937
00:50:35,908 --> 00:50:37,125
Nipple fuck.
938
00:50:41,664 --> 00:50:43,541
Welcome to the Pleasure Palace.
939
00:50:43,832 --> 00:50:45,004
Please, come in.
940
00:50:45,084 --> 00:50:47,086
Ooh, the Pleasure Palace.
941
00:50:49,255 --> 00:50:51,383
You guys don't have too much fun tonight.
942
00:50:55,261 --> 00:50:56,638
The King will see you now.
943
00:51:07,565 --> 00:51:09,909
Yeah, this might've been a bad idea.
944
00:51:11,443 --> 00:51:13,070
I'd rather be with Goose.
945
00:51:24,039 --> 00:51:25,882
Do y'all know who I am?
946
00:51:27,126 --> 00:51:28,127
Uh...
947
00:51:31,797 --> 00:51:34,095
My name is King Pleasure.
948
00:51:34,216 --> 00:51:36,435
And y'all two boys are right on time,
949
00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:40,940
'cause the festivities have just begun.
950
00:51:51,650 --> 00:51:52,651
Silence!
951
00:51:53,777 --> 00:51:55,120
You're scaring Lazarus.
952
00:51:59,783 --> 00:52:01,160
Now y'all two boys be still,
953
00:52:01,493 --> 00:52:03,211
and let Lazarus here inspect you.
954
00:52:22,848 --> 00:52:25,317
So, tell me, how do you like this song?
955
00:52:26,644 --> 00:52:28,317
This song is appropriate for the moment.
956
00:52:30,064 --> 00:52:33,112
Well, just as I suspected.
957
00:52:33,192 --> 00:52:36,366
Lazarus has found you both to be virgins.
958
00:52:36,820 --> 00:52:38,197
No.
959
00:52:40,449 --> 00:52:43,328
The girls waiting for you love virgins.
960
00:52:45,537 --> 00:52:46,538
Well,
961
00:52:47,539 --> 00:52:49,507
you boys ready to get laid?
962
00:52:54,380 --> 00:52:58,851
My father built this place
back in the year 1989.
963
00:52:59,885 --> 00:53:04,140
That was just before
he suffered a terrible accident.
964
00:53:04,973 --> 00:53:08,273
He was the first man ever
to be eaten alive by an otter.
965
00:53:09,019 --> 00:53:10,396
Not a pretty sight.
966
00:53:12,648 --> 00:53:16,278
You boys turned out sexier
than I could've ever hoped.
967
00:53:17,528 --> 00:53:21,783
Your safe word is "Jumanji."
968
00:53:30,541 --> 00:53:32,838
Now, of course, as the oldest boy,
969
00:53:32,918 --> 00:53:36,388
it was my responsibility
to avenge my father's death.
970
00:53:36,505 --> 00:53:38,257
So I tracked that otter for two months
971
00:53:38,340 --> 00:53:39,842
through the swamps of Louisiana.
972
00:53:39,925 --> 00:53:42,014
And when I found him, well, let's just say
973
00:53:42,094 --> 00:53:45,223
we both knew only one of us
was leaving those swamps alive.
974
00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:51,938
Your safe word is "Yes."
975
00:53:53,856 --> 00:53:54,857
Enjoy.
976
00:53:57,317 --> 00:53:58,364
Hey, sweet thing.
977
00:53:59,737 --> 00:54:02,240
Won't you come over here
and let Mama give you a massage?
978
00:54:03,073 --> 00:54:05,075
I guess a massage sounds nice.
979
00:54:06,827 --> 00:54:09,250
Yes, so I've been coming here
for about three years,
980
00:54:09,371 --> 00:54:10,501
it's really good for business.
981
00:54:10,581 --> 00:54:12,503
There's just something
about screwing strangers
982
00:54:12,583 --> 00:54:15,427
that just really turns me on,
you know what I mean?
983
00:54:20,299 --> 00:54:22,768
Usually, I have a room that has a peep hole
so that everybody can watch,
984
00:54:22,885 --> 00:54:24,014
'cause people wanna watch,
you know what I mean?
985
00:54:24,094 --> 00:54:25,596
And, one time, I was here with four old men,
986
00:54:25,679 --> 00:54:28,558
and when I say old, I mean really old,
like, ages 75 to 80.
987
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:30,233
And I was afraid that
they wouldn't be able to get it up,
988
00:54:30,350 --> 00:54:31,397
but I totally got them up.
989
00:54:32,728 --> 00:54:33,695
So.
990
00:54:35,773 --> 00:54:38,492
- Do you wanna fuck me?
- Yes.
991
00:54:39,193 --> 00:54:40,194
Cool.
992
00:54:41,153 --> 00:54:44,123
Oh, you are such a baby. How old are you?
993
00:54:45,157 --> 00:54:46,204
Eighteen.
994
00:54:46,742 --> 00:54:48,585
Mmm. Old enough.
995
00:54:55,459 --> 00:54:57,257
You like Mama's massage?
996
00:54:57,836 --> 00:54:59,179
That feels good.
997
00:55:08,013 --> 00:55:09,139
You're very strong.
998
00:55:09,473 --> 00:55:11,895
Do you want a happy ending?
999
00:55:11,975 --> 00:55:13,689
Do you want me to stop?
1000
00:55:13,769 --> 00:55:16,818
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
1001
00:55:17,606 --> 00:55:19,984
Sounds like your friend is having fun.
1002
00:55:20,067 --> 00:55:21,238
I love you.
1003
00:55:26,323 --> 00:55:28,496
I was yelling the safe word.
Why didn't you stop?
1004
00:55:28,909 --> 00:55:30,081
Jack?
1005
00:55:33,205 --> 00:55:35,549
What the fuck? Frog Boy?
1006
00:55:35,874 --> 00:55:37,376
Frog Boy.
1007
00:55:42,506 --> 00:55:43,598
Are you ready?
1008
00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:45,475
Yes.
1009
00:55:47,636 --> 00:55:51,140
This is how we Brits do it in America.
1010
00:55:54,893 --> 00:55:56,190
Duncan, we gotta go!
1011
00:55:56,270 --> 00:55:57,816
Jack, not now!
1012
00:55:57,896 --> 00:55:59,860
I just got a massage from Principal Raheem!
1013
00:55:59,940 --> 00:56:01,317
We have to leave now!
1014
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,869
I'm gonna let you two figure this out.
1015
00:56:03,986 --> 00:56:05,033
How could you, Jack?
1016
00:56:05,404 --> 00:56:07,201
I was finally about to gel laid,
1017
00:56:07,281 --> 00:56:10,376
and you ruin it by being
a fuckin' huge cockblock!
1018
00:56:10,576 --> 00:56:12,249
I can't take you seriously with that boner.
1019
00:56:13,161 --> 00:56:15,414
If your friend wants to join,
I love threesomes.
1020
00:56:15,706 --> 00:56:17,128
We are not having a threesome.
1021
00:56:17,624 --> 00:56:20,002
Literally, all you had to do
was wait two minutes,
1022
00:56:20,085 --> 00:56:21,924
and I would've had
the greatest night of my life.
1023
00:56:22,004 --> 00:56:23,551
The greatest night of my life, bro.
1024
00:56:23,672 --> 00:56:26,512
Really? The greatest night of your life?
Are you on drugs?
1025
00:56:32,598 --> 00:56:34,225
Get it off! Get it off!
1026
00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:38,230
Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!
1027
00:56:43,734 --> 00:56:45,447
What is that? Is that lube?
1028
00:56:45,527 --> 00:56:47,029
She's not responding!
1029
00:56:47,321 --> 00:56:50,575
Fuck! Oh, God, Leslie, don't die on me!
1030
00:56:50,741 --> 00:56:52,368
You're too young and beautiful!
1031
00:56:52,451 --> 00:56:55,079
Police. Open up.
Stop your fucking immediately.
1032
00:56:59,666 --> 00:57:01,714
Up against the wall. Spread it. Give me that!
1033
00:57:02,002 --> 00:57:03,595
Oh, we need to get the fuck out of here.
1034
00:57:05,797 --> 00:57:07,970
Shit! The car's blocked in!
1035
00:57:08,425 --> 00:57:10,264
They're gonna think we killed her.
1036
00:57:10,344 --> 00:57:12,142
We're gonna go to jail.
1037
00:57:12,346 --> 00:57:16,726
I'm gonna lose my virginity
to a bunch of big, black, hairy dudes,
1038
00:57:16,808 --> 00:57:18,560
and they're gonna fuck me in the ass, bro.
1039
00:57:18,644 --> 00:57:21,859
They're gonna bend me over
and fuck my tight little ass,
1040
00:57:21,939 --> 00:57:23,861
and there's nothing I can do about it!
1041
00:57:23,941 --> 00:57:24,942
I'm just gonna...
1042
00:57:25,067 --> 00:57:26,068
What the fuck are you doing?
1043
00:57:26,193 --> 00:57:29,157
- I'm getting out of here!
- You can't just fucking take her car!
1044
00:57:29,237 --> 00:57:30,659
You can't just leave her here!
1045
00:57:30,781 --> 00:57:32,158
Are you coming or not?
1046
00:57:32,866 --> 00:57:34,163
Ugh, fine!
1047
00:57:36,495 --> 00:57:37,712
Which one is it?
1048
00:57:39,498 --> 00:57:40,966
Oh, for fuck's sake.
1049
00:57:44,836 --> 00:57:47,180
Would you stop pulling so hard on my ribs?
1050
00:57:47,297 --> 00:57:48,549
What the hell am I supposed to do?
1051
00:57:48,632 --> 00:57:51,010
You're literally taking up all the space.
1052
00:57:51,134 --> 00:57:52,431
Why don't you just get off
1053
00:57:52,511 --> 00:57:54,479
and let me go to this party by myself?
1054
00:57:55,681 --> 00:57:57,394
Ever since Kaylee pretended to like you,
1055
00:57:57,474 --> 00:57:59,317
you've just become such an asshole.
1056
00:57:59,851 --> 00:58:01,819
Get off.
1057
00:58:02,479 --> 00:58:04,481
- I'm not getting off.
- Get off!
1058
00:58:04,606 --> 00:58:06,779
- No!
- Fine, then I'll get off.
1059
00:58:07,985 --> 00:58:09,362
Oh, just walk away, you pussy.
1060
00:58:10,028 --> 00:58:11,950
You know what?
Today would've been a pretty good day
1061
00:58:12,030 --> 00:58:14,077
if you didn't take me
on that stupid blind date with you.
1062
00:58:14,157 --> 00:58:16,785
You wanted to go on that blind date
just as much as me,
1063
00:58:17,327 --> 00:58:20,080
so you could see your precious Kaylee.
1064
00:58:20,163 --> 00:58:21,752
Things with Kaylee would've been just fine
1065
00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:23,209
if you would've taken
our phones back from Goose,
1066
00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:25,127
or not have knocked out Amber.
1067
00:58:25,210 --> 00:58:28,300
And on top of that, you took us
to that stupid fucking sex party
1068
00:58:28,380 --> 00:58:30,508
where I was molested by Principal Raheem.
1069
00:58:30,632 --> 00:58:32,634
You know I could've easily
gone to the party by myself?
1070
00:58:32,718 --> 00:58:34,890
But, hey, I was trying to be a good friend
1071
00:58:34,970 --> 00:58:37,189
by talking to Tucker
so you could come with me.
1072
00:58:37,556 --> 00:58:38,682
A good friend?
1073
00:58:38,807 --> 00:58:41,021
- You think you're a good friend?
- Yeah.
1074
00:58:41,101 --> 00:58:43,273
You're the most selfish person I've ever met!
1075
00:58:43,353 --> 00:58:44,942
Selfish.
1076
00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:47,024
You're calling me selfish?
1077
00:58:47,107 --> 00:58:50,030
All you've wanted to do the whole day
is meet up with some girl
1078
00:58:50,110 --> 00:58:52,783
that barely even knows your fucking name.
1079
00:58:52,863 --> 00:58:55,742
- Fuck you, Jack.
- Fuck you, Duncan.
1080
00:58:55,824 --> 00:58:57,201
I'm finding away in.
1081
00:58:57,492 --> 00:59:00,371
I'm glad this is gonna be the last night
we're gonna be together.
1082
00:59:01,038 --> 00:59:02,210
So am I.
1083
00:59:03,623 --> 00:59:04,920
Have fun banging the BLOB.
1084
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,468
I'm sure you'll need a condom.
1085
00:59:35,614 --> 00:59:36,706
The fuck happened to you?
1086
00:59:38,533 --> 00:59:40,080
- Me?
- Yeah.
1087
00:59:40,911 --> 00:59:43,585
I was attacked and my car was stolen.
1088
00:59:44,581 --> 00:59:45,877
What happened to the little guy?
1089
00:59:45,957 --> 00:59:48,460
The one you let get away knocked me out.
1090
00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:50,382
I woke up, I don't know
where the fuck they are.
1091
00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:52,968
Holy fuck!
1092
00:59:53,048 --> 00:59:55,050
Okay, how about
don't get robbed by a teenager?
1093
00:59:55,133 --> 00:59:56,134
Okay? How about that?
1094
00:59:56,635 --> 00:59:58,933
And that little fucker, he stole my watch.
1095
00:59:59,054 --> 01:00:01,182
I'm gonna kill him. They're both gonna die.
1096
01:00:01,264 --> 01:00:03,892
I am gonna pull my gun on black guy.
1097
01:00:04,101 --> 01:00:06,445
Twilight... Dead.
1098
01:00:06,728 --> 01:00:08,900
Who cares about
your stupid fucking watch, okay?
1099
01:00:08,980 --> 01:00:10,357
What about your girlfriend, huh?
1100
01:00:11,066 --> 01:00:13,488
You know what, Goose? I'm done.
1101
01:00:13,568 --> 01:00:14,569
I'm done.
1102
01:00:14,820 --> 01:00:16,572
Oh, no, no, no, baby, don't leave me.
1103
01:00:16,655 --> 01:00:18,657
You know it's hard to find a white girl
that likes an Asian guy.
1104
01:00:18,740 --> 01:00:20,583
Come on. I love you so much, baby.
1105
01:00:21,076 --> 01:00:22,578
You're the love of my life. I love you.
1106
01:00:22,786 --> 01:00:23,787
For real?
1107
01:00:23,912 --> 01:00:26,165
Yeah, you know, sometimes
I know I'm not a good boyfriend,
1108
01:00:26,248 --> 01:00:30,048
but I do everything I can
to provide for my lady, you know.
1109
01:00:30,460 --> 01:00:32,303
You're my pookie bear.
1110
01:00:32,420 --> 01:00:33,967
Who my pookie bear?
1111
01:00:34,089 --> 01:00:36,762
I your pookie bear. Me.
1112
01:00:36,842 --> 01:00:38,014
You my pookie bear.
1113
01:00:41,179 --> 01:00:44,023
Okay, well, then kiss me if you mean it.
1114
01:00:44,349 --> 01:00:46,602
Oh, yeah? You want me to kiss you, baby?
1115
01:00:46,685 --> 01:00:47,937
Oh, my God, you will?
1116
01:00:50,605 --> 01:00:51,652
The party.
1117
01:00:51,940 --> 01:00:53,737
- Oh...
- Are you fucking serious?
1118
01:00:53,817 --> 01:00:55,239
The party. The party. The party.
1119
01:00:57,028 --> 01:00:58,700
Mom, change of plans.
1120
01:00:58,780 --> 01:01:01,329
You gonna drop us off at 1212 Rose Avenue.
1121
01:01:01,449 --> 01:01:05,750
Oh, us? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, honey.
1122
01:01:06,121 --> 01:01:08,169
You know what, Goose?
1123
01:01:08,290 --> 01:01:10,793
You and I are over.
1124
01:01:12,294 --> 01:01:14,467
Stick your two-inch dick in someone else.
1125
01:01:14,588 --> 01:01:15,931
Don't leave me, pookie bear.
1126
01:01:16,882 --> 01:01:19,055
It's not two inches, it's three. Hard.
1127
01:01:19,676 --> 01:01:20,677
Damn it!
1128
01:01:44,701 --> 01:01:45,827
What the fuck you want, bro?
1129
01:01:46,203 --> 01:01:48,331
I'm here for Tucker's party.
1130
01:01:48,663 --> 01:01:51,712
- Are you on the list?
- Yeah.
1131
01:01:54,961 --> 01:01:56,008
What's your first name?
1132
01:01:56,630 --> 01:01:57,927
Uh, Duncan.
1133
01:01:59,382 --> 01:02:01,847
Oh, yeah, Duncan.
Yeah, you're not on the fuckin' list.
1134
01:02:01,927 --> 01:02:03,390
What up, biatch?
1135
01:02:03,470 --> 01:02:04,471
Where are the girls?
1136
01:02:05,597 --> 01:02:07,099
And where the fuck are your clothes?
1137
01:02:07,349 --> 01:02:09,688
Tucker, I tried so hard.
1138
01:02:09,768 --> 01:02:11,520
First of all, we met up
with this really hot girl,
1139
01:02:11,603 --> 01:02:13,776
and she was supposed to bring
her really hot friend,
1140
01:02:13,897 --> 01:02:15,986
but then we got kidnapped by her boyfriend.
1141
01:02:16,066 --> 01:02:18,280
But luckily, we managed to escape.
1142
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:20,824
Then we went to this crazy place
called the Pleasure Palace.
1143
01:02:20,904 --> 01:02:22,701
There was a king, and there was a midget,
1144
01:02:22,781 --> 01:02:24,579
and then I found this other hot girl,
1145
01:02:24,699 --> 01:02:25,871
and I was gonna bring her to the party,
1146
01:02:25,951 --> 01:02:27,578
but then she OD'd on coke.
1147
01:02:27,661 --> 01:02:29,004
Coke, man. Coke.
1148
01:02:29,412 --> 01:02:32,757
So I had to Segway
from there all the way to here.
1149
01:02:33,583 --> 01:02:35,085
Pretty much what I am trying to say is that
1150
01:02:35,210 --> 01:02:37,174
I tried so, so hard to get here,
1151
01:02:37,254 --> 01:02:38,341
and it would mean the world
1152
01:02:38,421 --> 01:02:40,094
if you could just let me in
and have some fun...
1153
01:02:40,924 --> 01:02:41,925
Fuck!
1154
01:02:58,358 --> 01:02:59,780
Dude. You can't come in.
1155
01:03:00,068 --> 01:03:03,072
Are you sure we can't make
an, uh, arrangement?
1156
01:03:05,490 --> 01:03:07,704
Yeah. I'm gonna need some clothes, too.
1157
01:03:53,163 --> 01:03:55,585
Let's go, fucking little bitches,
no more dudes.
1158
01:03:55,665 --> 01:03:57,292
Dude, are you okay? Fuck you, Topher.
1159
01:03:57,375 --> 01:03:59,173
Oh, yeah, you guys can still
fuck each other tonight.
1160
01:03:59,377 --> 01:04:02,221
- Aw, like we're gonna fuck each other.
- Yeah, we wouldn't do that, right?
1161
01:04:21,024 --> 01:04:22,492
Hey, Mr. Pickles, I'm coming.
1162
01:04:23,860 --> 01:04:27,034
Why's this door so hard to open?
Open, you piece of shit.
1163
01:04:32,243 --> 01:04:35,543
Mr. Pickles, are you ready
for your big moment, buddy?
1164
01:04:35,705 --> 01:04:39,004
Everyone's excited to see you.
Where are you, man?
1165
01:04:39,084 --> 01:04:41,086
What are you doing under the bed,
you little silly-willy?
1166
01:04:42,337 --> 01:04:45,010
What... No. No!
1167
01:04:45,090 --> 01:04:47,637
Oh, my God!
Who did this to you, Mr. Pickles?
1168
01:04:47,717 --> 01:04:48,718
What's wrong, Tucker?
1169
01:04:49,844 --> 01:04:52,347
Mr. Pickles was murdered! He's dead!
1170
01:04:52,430 --> 01:04:54,352
Don't worry, we'll find
the motherfucker who did this
1171
01:04:54,432 --> 01:04:55,558
and make them pay.
1172
01:04:55,642 --> 01:04:58,065
- Hold me.
- I'm here for you, man.
1173
01:05:05,860 --> 01:05:07,032
Damn.
1174
01:05:07,112 --> 01:05:10,161
The things I would do
to have one night with one of those girls.
1175
01:05:11,366 --> 01:05:14,370
The trick with girls is
you need to insult them.
1176
01:05:14,452 --> 01:05:18,753
Bring their self-esteem down,
and then go in for the kill.
1177
01:05:18,957 --> 01:05:20,925
Does that really work?
1178
01:05:21,126 --> 01:05:23,595
Yeah. This book I'm reading
has a whole chapter on it.
1179
01:05:24,087 --> 01:05:27,762
It also says, "Lowering the quality
raises the quantity."
1180
01:05:29,592 --> 01:05:30,889
Take her, for example.
1181
01:05:31,469 --> 01:05:33,813
That's the kind of girl we need to find.
1182
01:05:34,264 --> 01:05:36,642
The BLOB. Not her.
1183
01:05:37,725 --> 01:05:38,692
Not yet.
1184
01:05:41,604 --> 01:05:42,821
Them.
1185
01:05:49,571 --> 01:05:52,074
That color doesn't look good on you.
1186
01:05:52,157 --> 01:05:53,124
Excuse me?
1187
01:05:53,616 --> 01:05:56,711
And are you texting her
how much of a slut you are?
1188
01:05:57,162 --> 01:05:59,751
Seriously? That's your pickup line?
1189
01:05:59,831 --> 01:06:01,048
You guys are creeps.
1190
01:06:01,958 --> 01:06:03,460
And fuck you, Chocolate Rain.
1191
01:06:06,838 --> 01:06:08,306
Great advice, man.
1192
01:06:08,798 --> 01:06:10,471
And he's just, like, under my bed, dead.
1193
01:06:10,592 --> 01:06:11,763
I'm like, "Are you alive?"
1194
01:06:11,843 --> 01:06:13,845
He doesn't say anything
'cause he's dead, you know?
1195
01:06:13,928 --> 01:06:15,305
Look, you don't get it, okay?
1196
01:06:15,388 --> 01:06:18,061
Mr. Pickles was my best friend.
He's all I had.
1197
01:06:18,141 --> 01:06:21,020
He's all I ever had, and now he's dead.
1198
01:06:21,102 --> 01:06:22,440
And is it supposed to be okay?
1199
01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:24,522
No. I'm sad, okay?
1200
01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:32,617
Just tell her the truth.
1201
01:06:32,697 --> 01:06:34,040
Everything is gonna be fine.
1202
01:06:39,954 --> 01:06:40,955
Kaylee.
1203
01:06:42,499 --> 01:06:43,795
What the hell do you want?
1204
01:06:43,875 --> 01:06:46,845
I thought we were, you know,
gonna hang out a bit tonight.
1205
01:06:47,212 --> 01:06:50,136
Well, yeah, I wanted to
until you called me a fucking bitch.
1206
01:06:50,465 --> 01:06:52,058
Funny thing is, that wasn't me.
1207
01:06:53,259 --> 01:06:55,307
I was actually kidnapped earlier today.
1208
01:06:55,512 --> 01:06:57,014
- Really?
- Yeah.
1209
01:06:57,138 --> 01:06:58,810
That guy you spoke to on the phone,
1210
01:06:58,890 --> 01:07:01,018
that's the guy who kidnapped me.
His name is Goose.
1211
01:07:02,393 --> 01:07:05,021
- Goose?
- Yeah.
1212
01:07:05,980 --> 01:07:07,027
Okay.
1213
01:07:07,148 --> 01:07:09,526
Calling me a bitch is one thing.
1214
01:07:09,651 --> 01:07:11,028
But lying straight to my face?
1215
01:07:12,487 --> 01:07:14,660
And I thought you were one of the nice guys.
1216
01:07:20,078 --> 01:07:24,254
Stop the car! Stop! Stop, Mama, stop.
1217
01:07:24,374 --> 01:07:25,796
God damn.
1218
01:07:26,417 --> 01:07:29,261
Those two little shits
don't know what's coming to them.
1219
01:07:34,634 --> 01:07:35,681
Mama?
1220
01:07:37,220 --> 01:07:38,221
Yes?
1221
01:07:38,846 --> 01:07:40,810
Do you believe in me?
1222
01:07:40,890 --> 01:07:44,064
Ever since you were a little baby,
I knew you would be special.
1223
01:07:45,311 --> 01:07:47,359
You can do what you put your mind to.
1224
01:07:48,481 --> 01:07:49,983
I am gonna make you proud, Mama.
1225
01:07:50,066 --> 01:07:53,036
But make it fast
so I can see the end of my show.
1226
01:07:53,319 --> 01:07:57,118
- Okay, you'll watch your show.
- Yes, yes.
1227
01:07:57,198 --> 01:07:58,825
Those two little motherfuckers are dead.
1228
01:07:58,908 --> 01:08:01,912
That's right. Right. That's my son.
1229
01:08:02,745 --> 01:08:03,712
Yes.
1230
01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:07,041
My son.
1231
01:08:14,799 --> 01:08:16,513
All right, you little horny freaks,
1232
01:08:16,593 --> 01:08:18,766
stop grinding on each other for two seconds,
1233
01:08:18,886 --> 01:08:21,264
'cause I know we've been waiting all night
for the big surprise,
1234
01:08:21,472 --> 01:08:24,225
but wait no longer,
'cause right here, on stage,
1235
01:08:24,309 --> 01:08:27,899
performing his first ever original rap song,
1236
01:08:27,979 --> 01:08:29,859
the daddy of Mr. Pickles,
1237
01:08:29,939 --> 01:08:35,865
Mr. 10 Million Subscribers,
give it up, Tucker fucking Jones.
1238
01:08:38,781 --> 01:08:41,284
Check it out, check it out,
check it out, check it out. Oh, yeah.
1239
01:08:43,870 --> 01:08:46,248
Fuck me, Tucker!
1240
01:08:46,331 --> 01:08:49,551
Yo, this song right here
is dedicated to my cat, Mr. Pickles.
1241
01:08:50,251 --> 01:08:52,629
I found him murdered in my room earlier.
1242
01:08:52,837 --> 01:08:53,804
No!
1243
01:08:55,173 --> 01:08:56,719
But you know what? It's all good.
1244
01:08:56,799 --> 01:08:58,596
We got Topher
checking the security cameras,
1245
01:08:58,676 --> 01:09:00,890
- and we're gonna find that motherfucker.
- Yeah.
1246
01:09:00,970 --> 01:09:02,892
And we're gonna make him pay.
1247
01:09:02,972 --> 01:09:04,019
Play that shit.
1248
01:09:06,142 --> 01:09:07,109
# Yo!
1249
01:09:07,769 --> 01:09:09,942
# Tucker Jones on the mic, uh, yeah
1250
01:09:10,438 --> 01:09:13,278
# Back when I was 16
Captain of the football team
1251
01:09:13,358 --> 01:09:15,531
# Nothing could stop me
Until I hurt my knee
1252
01:09:15,985 --> 01:09:18,363
# Doc said I'd never play again, but I did
1253
01:09:18,488 --> 01:09:20,081
# I got tiger blood in me
1254
01:09:20,323 --> 01:09:22,246
# I'm here to win, biatch #
1255
01:09:22,700 --> 01:09:24,668
Kaylee, can I talk to you for a few seconds?
1256
01:09:25,203 --> 01:09:26,830
Can you give me, like, two minutes?
1257
01:09:29,040 --> 01:09:31,129
- What now?
- I really like you.
1258
01:09:31,209 --> 01:09:33,423
And I went through a lot of trouble
to see you here tonight.
1259
01:09:35,296 --> 01:09:37,343
Every time I see you, I get butterflies.
1260
01:09:37,423 --> 01:09:39,346
And I've never felt like that
before with someone.
1261
01:09:39,467 --> 01:09:42,721
I've had bad experiences
with people that lie. So...
1262
01:09:43,346 --> 01:09:45,810
# To all my haters, you can suck my balls
1263
01:09:45,890 --> 01:09:48,359
# To all my haters, you can suck my balls
# You can suck my balls
1264
01:09:48,726 --> 01:09:51,024
# To all my haters, you can suck my balls
# You can suck my balls
1265
01:09:51,229 --> 01:09:52,196
# You can suck my balls
1266
01:09:52,480 --> 01:09:54,278
That fucker stole my song!
1267
01:09:54,399 --> 01:09:56,367
# Sucky, sucky, sucky, suck my balls #
1268
01:09:56,651 --> 01:09:58,870
Can we go talk outside?
It's really loud in here.
1269
01:09:58,986 --> 01:10:01,114
- Uh, no, thanks, I'm good.
- Please?
1270
01:10:01,781 --> 01:10:02,782
Leave me alone.
1271
01:10:02,865 --> 01:10:04,663
Just let me go.
1272
01:10:04,951 --> 01:10:06,999
- Stop!
- Yo, stop the music, man.
1273
01:10:08,246 --> 01:10:09,247
Oh, no.
1274
01:10:13,376 --> 01:10:14,464
Tucker!
1275
01:10:14,544 --> 01:10:15,716
Yo, why did you
have your hands on her, bro?
1276
01:10:16,087 --> 01:10:17,675
And why the fuck are you wearing my jersey?
1277
01:10:17,755 --> 01:10:19,678
Leave him alone. I can handle this myself.
1278
01:10:19,799 --> 01:10:21,893
Yo, no one touches her except me, okay?
1279
01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:23,845
We broke up. I can do whatever I want.
1280
01:10:23,928 --> 01:10:25,180
Why don't you shut up, bitch?
1281
01:10:25,304 --> 01:10:26,726
Ooh...
1282
01:10:27,348 --> 01:10:28,395
She's not a bitch.
1283
01:10:28,516 --> 01:10:29,608
You're a bitch.
1284
01:10:29,726 --> 01:10:31,147
Oh, shit.
1285
01:10:31,227 --> 01:10:34,401
- What did you just say?
- I said, you're a bitch.
1286
01:10:35,940 --> 01:10:38,237
You were dating the most beautiful girl
in the whole world
1287
01:10:38,317 --> 01:10:39,785
and you treated her like shit.
1288
01:10:40,361 --> 01:10:42,580
- Yeah, so?
- You're an asshole.
1289
01:10:42,697 --> 01:10:44,244
She deserves someone better.
1290
01:10:44,365 --> 01:10:46,333
What? Someone like you?
1291
01:10:46,743 --> 01:10:48,581
Yes. Someone like me.
1292
01:10:49,996 --> 01:10:50,997
Yo, Tucker.
1293
01:10:53,124 --> 01:10:55,502
- It was him. He killed Mr. Pickles.
- What?
1294
01:10:55,877 --> 01:10:57,715
- No, I didn't.
- Oh, yeah, you did.
1295
01:10:57,795 --> 01:11:00,093
- We caught it on camera, too.
- Oh, no.
1296
01:11:00,715 --> 01:11:01,716
Oh...
1297
01:11:05,511 --> 01:11:06,979
Mr. Pickles?
1298
01:11:07,263 --> 01:11:09,265
What are you doing under the bed,
you little silly-willy?
1299
01:11:09,390 --> 01:11:10,892
Mr. Pickles, oh, my God!
1300
01:11:11,976 --> 01:11:13,649
Mr. Pickles has been murdered!
1301
01:11:13,978 --> 01:11:15,946
Hold me!
1302
01:11:17,565 --> 01:11:18,942
Yo, I'm gonna kick your fuckin' ass, bro.
1303
01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:20,948
Freeze!
1304
01:11:21,152 --> 01:11:22,779
Nobody move!
1305
01:11:24,322 --> 01:11:26,661
All you kids having a good time, huh?
1306
01:11:26,741 --> 01:11:30,540
You drinking, having sex with each other.
Chuk, chuck. Okay?
1307
01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:32,083
And this guy singing.
1308
01:11:32,163 --> 01:11:35,292
Gay guy, "Oh, suck my ball, suck the ball."
1309
01:11:35,416 --> 01:11:37,255
No, thank you, I'm not gay,
but maybe tonight, okay?
1310
01:11:37,335 --> 01:11:38,712
Now, back away!
1311
01:11:39,128 --> 01:11:41,881
I have unfinished business
with my little cutie-pie right here.
1312
01:11:41,964 --> 01:11:43,557
- Oh, shit.
- Where's my car?
1313
01:11:44,383 --> 01:11:45,930
It's at the Pleasure Palace.
1314
01:11:47,303 --> 01:11:48,930
What the fuck is a Pleasure Palace?
1315
01:11:49,013 --> 01:11:53,018
It's where they have sex,
and there's a beaver and a midget.
1316
01:11:53,100 --> 01:11:55,273
Ooh, I love beaver-midget sex.
1317
01:11:55,353 --> 01:11:56,320
It get me hard, you know what I mean?
1318
01:11:56,437 --> 01:11:58,314
Give me my keys and my watch.
1319
01:11:59,357 --> 01:12:00,445
I don't have them.
1320
01:12:00,525 --> 01:12:01,612
And where's your black friend?
1321
01:12:01,692 --> 01:12:03,285
The one that looks like Whoopi Goldberg?
1322
01:12:03,820 --> 01:12:04,821
I don't know.
1323
01:12:05,071 --> 01:12:07,660
Hey, you Asian bitch,
you can't just come into my party
1324
01:12:07,740 --> 01:12:10,118
with a fucking gun,
acting like you own the place.
1325
01:12:10,201 --> 01:12:11,202
You need to fuckin' leave.
1326
01:12:12,495 --> 01:12:14,834
Look at this big guy talking to me, huh?
1327
01:12:14,914 --> 01:12:17,008
You think you're Superman
'cause you look like Brandon Routh?
1328
01:12:17,291 --> 01:12:19,794
I have HRS, Hidden Retard Strength.
1329
01:12:19,877 --> 01:12:20,969
I will fuck you!
1330
01:12:21,337 --> 01:12:23,305
Yeah, I wanna fuck you,
I wanna fuck you bad, bro.
1331
01:12:23,589 --> 01:12:24,841
I'm fucking loco.
1332
01:12:25,299 --> 01:12:26,300
Oh!
1333
01:12:29,345 --> 01:12:31,973
Whoo!
Oh, I'm gonna fuckin' enjoy this shit.
1334
01:12:37,270 --> 01:12:40,818
That was awesome!
1335
01:12:45,236 --> 01:12:46,579
Party's back on.
1336
01:12:49,574 --> 01:12:52,163
Shit, Tucker, wake up, dude.
1337
01:12:52,243 --> 01:12:54,166
Tucker? You just got knocked out, dude.
1338
01:12:54,370 --> 01:12:55,997
Who was that guy? He was gonna kill you.
1339
01:12:56,080 --> 01:12:58,461
That's the guy who kidnapped us.
1340
01:12:58,541 --> 01:13:00,004
- Is that the truth?
- Yeah.
1341
01:13:00,084 --> 01:13:01,464
That's the little Asian motherfucker
1342
01:13:01,544 --> 01:13:04,263
that wanted to fuck on me, huh? Fuck you!
1343
01:13:06,549 --> 01:13:07,766
I'm sorry.
1344
01:13:09,051 --> 01:13:12,396
Why the fuck are you guys still partying?
Someone help me.
1345
01:13:12,513 --> 01:13:14,015
Fuck, come on, Tucker.
1346
01:13:14,098 --> 01:13:16,646
All right, guys, now we're gonna
slow it down a little bit.
1347
01:13:16,726 --> 01:13:18,439
'Cause, here, to perform his original song,
1348
01:13:18,519 --> 01:13:21,693
You're Always Loved,
give it up for my boy Golden.
1349
01:13:29,780 --> 01:13:32,704
# She's the part in the movie
where it all adds up
1350
01:13:33,159 --> 01:13:36,379
# So caught up in her eyes
1351
01:13:36,579 --> 01:13:40,584
# Oh, can't look away, I'm hypnotized
1352
01:13:41,459 --> 01:13:43,382
- Look, man...
- No, you're right.
1353
01:13:44,045 --> 01:13:46,924
I'm an asshole. And I'm selfish.
1354
01:13:47,715 --> 01:13:50,719
I'm sorry I dragged you
into all of this shit tonight.
1355
01:13:51,344 --> 01:13:52,641
You don't need to apologize.
1356
01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:55,849
I shouldn't have called you a bad friend.
1357
01:13:55,932 --> 01:13:57,400
I was being selfish, too.
1358
01:13:57,975 --> 01:14:01,195
So, um, are we cool?
1359
01:14:02,605 --> 01:14:03,606
We're cool.
1360
01:14:03,940 --> 01:14:07,615
# I will be there, I'll be there
1361
01:14:08,152 --> 01:14:11,117
# When the words just come out wrong
1362
01:14:11,197 --> 01:14:15,373
# And you're sick of the love songs
1363
01:14:15,993 --> 01:14:18,462
# I will be there, I'll be there
1364
01:14:18,579 --> 01:14:21,002
Hey, do you mind
if I borrow Jack for a little?
1365
01:14:21,123 --> 01:14:22,466
Not now, Kaylee!
1366
01:14:23,042 --> 01:14:25,465
- Duncan.
- I'm just kidding.
1367
01:14:29,298 --> 01:14:31,596
Go ahead, my lady.
1368
01:14:34,303 --> 01:14:37,307
# I'll be there to help
1369
01:14:38,140 --> 01:14:39,232
# Oh, yeah
1370
01:14:40,101 --> 01:14:43,605
# And when you're giving up
1371
01:14:45,815 --> 01:14:50,537
# Just know you're always loved
1372
01:14:53,698 --> 01:14:56,245
# You're always loved #
1373
01:14:56,325 --> 01:14:59,123
Hey, I'm sorry about tonight.
1374
01:14:59,203 --> 01:15:00,499
I was being such a bitch.
1375
01:15:00,579 --> 01:15:01,922
I can't believe I...
1376
01:15:05,710 --> 01:15:07,212
I accept your apology.
1377
01:15:17,179 --> 01:15:18,556
God, he's so fat.
1378
01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:21,563
- Anyway, cheers, mate.
- Cheers.
1379
01:15:23,477 --> 01:15:24,854
You were a hero out there.
1380
01:15:26,814 --> 01:15:28,942
- Thanks.
- I made you a new note.
1381
01:15:53,382 --> 01:15:56,477
Tabitha, have you met my new best friend?
1382
01:15:58,888 --> 01:16:00,356
Hi, Tabitha.
1383
01:16:02,183 --> 01:16:03,526
I'll be right back.
1384
01:16:06,604 --> 01:16:08,857
That color doesn't look good on you.
1385
01:16:09,065 --> 01:16:10,408
Oh, really?
1386
01:16:16,405 --> 01:16:17,577
Scarlett?
1387
01:16:18,741 --> 01:16:20,118
It's me, Duncan.
1388
01:16:22,078 --> 01:16:24,333
You were my sex teacher this morning.
1389
01:16:24,413 --> 01:16:27,257
Oh, my God. Hey, you.
1390
01:16:27,583 --> 01:16:29,380
What are you doing here?
1391
01:16:29,460 --> 01:16:31,133
I'm Tucker's sister.
1392
01:16:31,796 --> 01:16:32,842
Oh, wow.
1393
01:16:32,922 --> 01:16:35,141
I'm so sorry.
1394
01:16:35,257 --> 01:16:37,179
Don't worry about it.
He had it coming for him.
1395
01:16:37,259 --> 01:16:38,431
He's a total dick.
1396
01:16:40,346 --> 01:16:44,101
You're so much more beautiful in real life.
1397
01:16:44,308 --> 01:16:45,901
Thanks.
1398
01:16:50,356 --> 01:16:52,575
I'm really sorry I cut our session short.
1399
01:16:53,275 --> 01:16:55,698
I know it sounds kinda weird,
1400
01:16:55,778 --> 01:16:57,951
but I was kinda turned on by
what you were doing to the doll.
1401
01:16:59,990 --> 01:17:02,664
Do you wanna
finish up the lesson in my room?
1402
01:17:03,619 --> 01:17:05,587
I would love nothing more.
1403
01:17:06,580 --> 01:17:07,547
Come on.
1404
01:17:32,690 --> 01:17:33,691
Wait.
1405
01:17:34,608 --> 01:17:36,485
I've got something I need to tell you.
1406
01:17:37,361 --> 01:17:39,534
What? You're a virgin?
1407
01:17:40,239 --> 01:17:41,491
How did you know?
1408
01:17:42,950 --> 01:17:44,167
I could tell.
1409
01:17:49,540 --> 01:17:50,507
Boober?
1410
01:17:52,626 --> 01:17:53,969
I can help you out with that.
1411
01:17:59,508 --> 01:18:01,135
Take off your fucking clothes.
1412
01:18:01,427 --> 01:18:02,770
Yes, ma'am.
1413
01:18:10,561 --> 01:18:11,562
Mmm.
1414
01:18:12,021 --> 01:18:13,022
You wanna learn about sex?
1415
01:18:14,565 --> 01:18:17,865
I'm gonna teach you
everything you need to know tonight.
1416
01:18:18,402 --> 01:18:21,702
Teach me everything.
1417
01:18:22,781 --> 01:18:24,658
You'll always remember your first time.
1418
01:18:28,412 --> 01:18:30,540
God bless America.
1419
01:18:35,419 --> 01:18:37,508
We're not virgins any more!
1420
01:18:37,588 --> 01:18:38,759
This is what we do.
1421
01:18:38,839 --> 01:18:40,678
South Africa and England.
1422
01:18:40,758 --> 01:18:44,012
- We go in your country and take your women.
- Whoo!
1423
01:18:49,850 --> 01:18:53,024
Boys, where have you been?
Your flight leaves in two hours.
1424
01:18:53,312 --> 01:18:55,861
I tried both your cells,
straight to voice-mail.
1425
01:18:56,273 --> 01:18:59,322
Sorry. Things got really, really crazy.
1426
01:18:59,860 --> 01:19:01,362
Were you guys at Tucker's party?
1427
01:19:01,445 --> 01:19:02,788
Go to your room, God damn it.
1428
01:19:05,115 --> 01:19:06,367
All right, guys,
you need to go pack your bags
1429
01:19:06,450 --> 01:19:07,542
'cause we have to leave now.
1430
01:19:08,452 --> 01:19:10,916
Oh, but, Jack, did you end up
hooking up with Kaylee?
1431
01:19:10,996 --> 01:19:12,748
Because all the moms are gonna wanna know.
1432
01:19:13,916 --> 01:19:14,963
She told me not to tell.
1433
01:19:16,085 --> 01:19:17,962
Yeah, I fucked Tucker's sister.
1434
01:19:18,254 --> 01:19:19,927
Okay, didn't need to know that.
1435
01:19:20,047 --> 01:19:22,391
All right, hurry up, go, go.
1436
01:19:25,803 --> 01:19:27,391
We should have sex tonight.
1437
01:19:27,471 --> 01:19:28,643
Jesus, Lisa, stop it.
1438
01:19:33,352 --> 01:19:34,604
So I guess this is it.
1439
01:19:34,979 --> 01:19:37,198
Dude, come visit me in London sometime.
1440
01:19:37,398 --> 01:19:39,651
Only if we get kidnapped and have an orgy.
1441
01:19:41,151 --> 01:19:42,323
Good times.
1442
01:19:45,155 --> 01:19:46,122
I love you.
1443
01:19:46,782 --> 01:19:47,783
Love you, too, man.
1444
01:19:49,994 --> 01:19:51,792
Oh, yeah, don't forget about this.
1445
01:19:53,414 --> 01:19:54,415
My phone.
1446
01:19:54,498 --> 01:19:56,592
I took it from Goose
after Tucker knocked him out.
1447
01:19:57,167 --> 01:19:59,010
You, sir, are a legend.
1448
01:20:00,337 --> 01:20:01,805
Kaylee sent you some nudes, by the way.
1449
01:20:02,298 --> 01:20:03,260
What?
1450
01:20:03,340 --> 01:20:04,307
I'm only kidding.
1451
01:20:06,844 --> 01:20:08,596
Kaylee said she's gonna
come visit me this summer.
1452
01:20:08,679 --> 01:20:09,976
Scarlett said she's gonna give me
1453
01:20:10,097 --> 01:20:11,690
free sex lessons when I get back.
1454
01:20:12,266 --> 01:20:14,234
- You deserve those.
- Thanks, man.
1455
01:20:14,601 --> 01:20:17,024
Let me know where
you're going for college, by the way.
1456
01:20:17,104 --> 01:20:18,151
I'm thinking about studying abroad.
1457
01:20:18,605 --> 01:20:19,606
Fuck yeah.
1458
01:20:48,218 --> 01:20:50,016
You're in, you're in. Come on, go, go.
1459
01:20:51,555 --> 01:20:53,148
- Fuck! Fuck!
- Yeah. Yeah.
1460
01:20:53,265 --> 01:20:55,063
- Shit.
- Wait. Wait.
1461
01:21:00,022 --> 01:21:01,569
Did you just come?
1462
01:21:01,899 --> 01:21:03,242
Yeah.
1463
01:21:03,567 --> 01:21:04,613
Oh.
1464
01:21:04,693 --> 01:21:05,694
Okay.
1465
01:21:23,170 --> 01:21:25,138
I'm fucking with you.
1466
01:21:34,223 --> 01:21:36,225
I've totally fucked up my lines!
1467
01:21:37,601 --> 01:21:38,773
Where's your black friend?
1468
01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:40,692
The one that looks like Whoopi Goldberg?
1469
01:21:43,482 --> 01:21:44,654
Whoopi Goldberg...
1470
01:21:44,900 --> 01:21:46,868
# I got a big dick #
1471
01:21:54,952 --> 01:21:56,999
"Sorry, I can't make it today.
1472
01:21:57,079 --> 01:22:01,710
"I'm too much of a pussy
to go meet some blind niggas."
1473
01:22:03,836 --> 01:22:06,508
You always say that.
You're not gay, but you'd fuck a guy.
1474
01:22:06,588 --> 01:22:08,932
I know. No condom either, you know.
1475
01:22:09,049 --> 01:22:10,016
Oh, look.
1476
01:22:12,803 --> 01:22:14,641
You were so heroic out there.
1477
01:22:25,441 --> 01:22:27,237
Who my pookie bear?
1478
01:22:27,317 --> 01:22:28,284
I am.
1479
01:22:30,487 --> 01:22:31,488
Yes.
1480
01:22:36,660 --> 01:22:38,412
Oh, fuck, my head.
1481
01:22:38,495 --> 01:22:39,963
Watch where you're going.
1482
01:22:40,581 --> 01:22:43,255
I'm gonna teach you everything
you need to know...
1483
01:22:45,794 --> 01:22:48,138
Okay, really? Really?
1484
01:22:48,881 --> 01:22:51,304
I'm fucking with you again.
1485
01:22:53,302 --> 01:22:54,303
Uh-oh!
1486
01:23:06,440 --> 01:23:07,441
Shit, cunt.
1487
01:23:07,816 --> 01:23:11,662
And let's just say, only one of us
left that swamp alive.
1488
01:23:11,778 --> 01:23:13,075
Somebody left that door open,
1489
01:23:13,155 --> 01:23:15,283
so you can just go on in, go ahead now.
1490
01:23:15,365 --> 01:23:17,367
That was good times. Have fun, Shalonda.
1491
01:23:22,039 --> 01:23:23,757
Yes!
1492
01:23:25,167 --> 01:23:26,885
You took so fucking long...
1493
01:23:33,967 --> 01:23:35,264
Okay, go do your thing.
1494
01:23:36,637 --> 01:23:38,014
That's my ride.
1495
01:23:38,514 --> 01:23:39,726
I'm just gonna hop on it.
1496
01:23:39,806 --> 01:23:40,853
That's what she said.
1497
01:23:41,141 --> 01:23:43,564
You think you're Superman
'cause you look like Brandon...
1498
01:23:44,269 --> 01:23:45,316
Do it again.
1499
01:23:47,856 --> 01:23:49,699
That hurt so bad.
1500
01:23:51,568 --> 01:23:54,037
Chef Nelson's or whatever
the fuck it's called.
1501
01:23:54,404 --> 01:23:56,873
Uh, Chef Nelson's. He's got a restaurant.
1502
01:23:56,990 --> 01:23:58,367
The crab shack.
1503
01:23:59,034 --> 01:24:01,036
Yeah.
1504
01:24:02,371 --> 01:24:04,668
Imagine getting tag-teamed by those two.
1505
01:24:04,748 --> 01:24:07,251
- I totally have. Huh? What?
- What?
1506
01:24:07,376 --> 01:24:09,549
Suck my balls, suck my balls,
1507
01:24:09,670 --> 01:24:11,008
suck my balls...
1508
01:24:11,088 --> 01:24:13,386
All right, this is the one.
1509
01:24:13,674 --> 01:24:16,348
Suck my balls, my balls.
1510
01:24:17,761 --> 01:24:19,388
Oh, fuck. Sorry!
1511
01:24:20,389 --> 01:24:23,353
Oh, there's an old saying,
"You open up the sleeping dragon,
1512
01:24:23,433 --> 01:24:25,606
"he might have sex with your mouth." Okay?
1513
01:24:26,270 --> 01:24:27,442
Hey, calm down, guys.
1514
01:24:29,064 --> 01:24:30,236
Hey we go, guys.
1515
01:24:32,776 --> 01:24:34,028
For fuck's sake!
1516
01:24:34,111 --> 01:24:37,075
- I don't know what to say.
- I don't know what to say to him.
1517
01:24:38,740 --> 01:24:39,707
Action.
1518
01:24:40,450 --> 01:24:42,452
Oh, my...
1519
01:24:45,455 --> 01:24:47,169
- What's funny?
- I don't know.
1520
01:24:47,249 --> 01:24:48,876
Everyone wants to go home, buddy.
110938
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