Original subtitles

I left China in 2011.

I left to find something I'd been searching for all my life.

Along the way, I've learned I'm not the only one looking.

Traveling was one of the few freedoms I knew in China.

Every year since I was 20 years old,

I would celebrate my birthday by traveling to a new place.

I started this tradition in China.

On my first birthday living in New York,

I bought a one-way ticket and went to Florida.

I was excited to document every conversation I had.

Welcome to America.

Like this is-- this is what America is like.

Since I was a teen, I just wanted to grab a backpack

and go travel, you know, not knowing

where I'm going to sleep or who I'm going to be with.

That excited me.

Tell me what's your next plan-- travel?

I'm going to South America for six months.

A few days into the trip, I stayed at a hostel

where I met someone whose mode of travel

was different from anyone I knew.

How do you spell your name?

Dylan.

Dylan.

And your last name?

Olsen.

The first night I met Dylan,

we talked for hours about our lives and travels.

What did you have when you first got on the road?

An empty backpack and no money.

I just began to travel across the country.

How can you pay the hostel if you don't have money?

I-- I worked for them.

I-- I came here offering my work for a place

to close my eyes at night that was safe and a place to just

to be at peace.

So many people come and go,

it's hard to remember.

I do know that when I first met Dylan,

I immediately identified he was a street kid.

How?

Just because he's a street kid.

You meet so many people, you can see certain things.

It's evident.

And so we had a conversation and made the agreement

that he would leave all those survival skills of the street

behind.

They have no place here.

We identified that immediately.

And it's very rare that we'll allow that.

But he's unique-- very smart, very creative.

He's got one of the best skills that you can have--

fearless in working-- fearless in doing.

- I - wanted to experience the life

that Dylan described to me.

When he went back to the streets,

I decided to follow him with my camera despite the fact

that I hardly knew him.

Oh, we need a better map.

Being lost is where I'm found.

Upon arriving the path that I am happy to tread,

my shoes come off, and I experience that full connection

with the floor.

It's as if I can breathe better.

Observing everybody else around in their entirety,

their passions, their bizarre behaviors,

as well as their observing me and my bizarre behaviors.

There's no time living in this sense.

I don't know what day it is.

Every day is now, right now.

Every time is right now.

I taught Dylan

how to use my camera so he could document

my experiences a while.

This was the first time I ate food from our garbage can.

It was the beginning of my short street life.

"Wherever he goes, he leaves an echo

to show from the pitter patter of his feet

to the magic incantation he speaks, a man

from the past living in the present.

So his presence is living in the future.

Yesterday and tomorrow-- last week was seven years long."

Why you choose to be on the street?

Hmm.

Why are you choosing to stay on the street?

Well--

Huh?

I guess the only objective is eating,

and happiness, and community.

What do you mean eating?

And I feed myself, and I have a good attitude,

and I just go wherever I want to go.

You can wander around and see so many things

and meet so many people that none of that

could ever occur if I were--

if I were just staying in one place, working for one person.

I've gone through quite a big portion of North America.

I'm just exploring, just meeting people.

Hey, man, you got a Sharpie.

I really couldn't answer and say when

I'll be done traveling or living on the street in this way.

But anywhere I am, something likely amazing happens.

My name is Jared.

Jared.

And this is my buddy here Jong.

My name is Dylan.

Dylan. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, man.

My name NANFU.

That's cool.

So you're from Utah, you said? - Yeah.

Originally?

Yeah.

What part did you say?

Just north of Salt Lake City.

Did you grow up Mormon?

Uh, yeah, for a minute.

For a hot minute?

Yeah, for a hot minute.

You are welcome to stay the night.

Neat.

That's a pullout.

She needs a good rest, so she's earned it.

One of the first people to buy here in the 1960s.

Jared had

known us for just a few hours.

You guys want a beer?

But he invited us home.

It had been days since I slept under a roof.

So I've been there.

You know, I've been traveling by myself.

I've had no place to stay.

So I just figured I'd extend a hand.

And I like him, you know?

He's a funny cat, man.

You know, he's young, and he's finding himself.

It's tough living life on the street and on the roads.

Jared took us to dinner that night.

I told myself one day I'd come back and thank him.

But I don't even remember where he lived.

Am in the camera?

Yeah.

- A beer, right? - A Budweiser, please.

- Budweiser. - Thank you.

Oh, OK.

Oh, OK.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I hadn't told my family

that I was living on the streets with someone I just

met and wasn't involved with.

They wouldn't understand why a homeless person

would be worth following.

The idea that someone would choose to be homeless

would be inconceivable to them.

But this was a kind of freedom I had never encountered before.

Everywhere we went, I was amazed by how many people

were interested in this life.

- Don or Dylan? - Dylan.

Dylan.

How long are you planning to do this?

I don't know, man.

I have no idea.

I'll see where the road takes me.

I'm just fascinated.

So what made you like-- did someone else do

this that you decided to do it?

I wondered

if the presence of my camera affected how people behave.

So sometimes I would retreat from Dylan

and wait until something happened.

This guy met Dylan in front of a coffee shop

while I was sitting inside charging my battery.

They talked for hours.

And then he invited Dylan to his home.

We were just carrying a conversation,

and we got something in common with a hostile.

I stayed in a hostile that was in California.

I just decided that it was good to have some money to give.

It just makes me feel good to be able to--

makes me feel good it you can help somebody.

What part of his story interested you?

Well, I guess the way--

the choices he makes.

Street life was

free and exciting for Dylan.

But it wasn't that way for everyone.

Why were people so generous to Dylan, but not to the others?

I began to realize the privilege of choosing

to be on the streets, which includes both of us.

A little something to get people here.

Who came here a member?

Who came-- did anybody

come to meet with God tonight?

Well, we're glad that you chose to come here tonight.

Who has been here before and decided

they might come back again?

All right, well, I think we're in the right place.

So let's pray over the meal.

Father, I thank you for tonight.

I think you--

I just love--

I love humanity.

I'm here experiencing humanity at its most.

Do you have like any type of like legal issues

in your background that--

that would, you know, add--

I'm just curious, to like--

Nothing extreme.

I mean, I made a lot of mistakes.

By the time I was 14, I was on heroin and selling

drugs till about 20 years old.

I mean, I'm assuming you probably

have maybe some high school or you

may have finished high school?

I finished high school-- did some college.

OK.

I quit college, because I mean,

I can learn more in a library than I could at a school,

studying what I'm interested in for free.

The point I'm trying to bring out

is that it's going to be that much harder for you basically

putting this on your resume when you're trying to get a job.

I mean, I'm having a hard enough time myself.

I don't feel as if I'm doing wrong.

Maybe I'm doing different than anybody else would think.

But man-- I'm--

No, it's not that.

I'm whole.

Right, no, I'm not saying you're doing wrong.

I know that. I know.

But yeah, no, I'm just saying, you know--

I'm just telling how I-- how I feel about it.

You know, it just-- it just seems like, you know, like--

the easier way out.

For now, I'm only 22.

Fuck, I feel like a

100-year-old person.

I mean, I've been through a lot, I've lived through a lot,

and experienced a lot of beautiful and ugly places.

Dylan told me later

that he was angry for the condescension

he felt from this person.

He told me how much he resented the judgment religious people

had shown him in his life.

But I was amazed by how comfortable he

seemed in situations like this.

Hallelujah, holy,

holy, God almighty, great I am.

I'm so sorry.

This is Dylan.

Hi, Dylan, welcome.

God bless you.

And who is your friend?

This is NANFU.

Hi.

- Hi, NANFU. - And what are you doing?

Just taking some shots.

Filming yeah, him, yeah.

Oh, is he-- is he--

Our journey.

It's a journey.

Oh, thank you for coming today.

Fantastic!

Come on in.

Well, look who's back in town.

They don't want to filmed-- those two.

Jesus, we come to you, Lord.

Give us our gifts of..

It's just like a cast on us and our mind.

We want to have that fix that you can give us.

When we ask for forgiveness for whatever

we've done to somebody-- if we..

For whatever reason you have him on this journey, Lord

God, we just want to pray your holy spirit will capture

his heart, and capture his mind, and capture Dylan, and turn him

into the man that you have--

you have designed him to become, Lord.

And he is seeking.

He is on a quest, Lord Jesus.

I pray that you will just give him the answers

that he's looking for, Lord.

We pray your favor upon Dylan.

We pray that salvation, healing, and deliverance

will come to Dylan's body, soul, and spirit.

And to his friend, also, Lord, we just pray for her.

We pray that as they travel together, that Lord,

you would put a hedge of protection around them

and that, Lord, your spirit will fall upon them like it did

when you fell upon.

And we just bleed your blood, Jesus, over their lives,

over their hearts, and their minds,

and their emotions, Lord, and we say

thank you, Lord, for the opportunity

to pray and bless them, in Jesus' name.

- I - typically never make a sign.

But I figured, why not?

A simple sign manifested into encountering this man, George.

How do you like the United States?

- You like it? - Yeah.

He offered me the $50 bonus

to tour a luxury timeshare in North Beach, Miami.

Guys, um, I need you to come over here for a minute--

just initial this.

It required a bit of paperwork

and fibbing as far as my occupation and salary.

So what?

I could use $50 to help myself and to help

this man make a few dollars off of referring me.

Hey, you got to wash your hands, all right?

Come on.

There's your ID.

OK?

You've got to finish the tour in order to get the gift.

So an hour, hour and a half, they're

going to have snacks up there.

They're going to tell you about a vacation club,

and you know, if you like it, buy it.

If you don't-- if you don't make spur of the moment decisions,

whatever it is that you do or don't do, it's up to you.

You don't have to buy anything for the gift.

OK?

Thank you, again.

I'll be here when you get done, OK?

I'll be here waiting to pay you.

OK.

Maybe about a 25 minute van ride.

And you end up at this beautiful facility.

Sure, I'll pretend to be a hot shot, wealthy young guy,

covered in dirt, stinky.

The pressure of the older one is always good.

OK, cool.

I told her I was a master carpenter.

That was my way of explaining my hands

being all dirty and stained.

Right on.

Yeah?

Oh, that's good.

The $50 Dylan

earned last for a few days, maybe beyond the few days

I had with him on the streets.

But he decided to go to a restaurant for dinner.

And the rest of the money he gave away.

After a few minutes, not surprisingly,

Dylan became friends with the people

sitting at the next table.

What's your name?

I'm Dylan.

Dylan? nice to meet you. Uri.

Uri?

Uri, yeah.

That's my grandma.

That's your grandma?

My mom.

This is my mom.

Nice to meet you all.

They gave Dylan $20

and their contact information,

I promise.

I hope not.

But--

Yes.

All right.

All right.

I love it.

I love it.

Absolutely.

You guys have a beautiful night.

Thank you. You too.

Bye.

- I - was worried that we would

be kicked out of this park.

Sure enough, I got woken up by the police.

Fuck!

You can cavity search me.

Before we headed north,

I went to a bathroom in the bagel shop to clean myself.

It took me so long in the bathroom

that the staff noticed and questioned me.

I told them about Dylan and that I was filming him.

Dylan, some bagels for us on the road.

Do you want to come in and say thank you to them?

I don't know why he's in that situation,

but for whatever reason, he's there.

So why not help?

How much money did you give him?

Just $5. $5.

Then like a half pack of smokes.

Then we give him some bagels and stuff.

That was the boss's idea there.

You know, just some bagels and some cream cheese.

Heard he was living on the streets and hungry.

So you know, why not help someone?

Soon after, we

were back on the road.

Dylan decided to sell the bagels.

No one wanted a bagel.

But many people gave him the money.

What did you tell him?

I said, you do you need a bagel for $1?

I'm trying to hit this bus.

And he was like, hold on.

Hold on.

He went inside and bought some beer and came back with $1.

But he didn't ask for a bagel.

- I - was annoyed that Dylan wanted

to get rid of the bagels.

I felt that he was ungrateful for the kindness

people showed him.

I felt disgusted that I lost interest in filming

and gave him the camera.

When I first met Dylan, he seemed

like a symbol for the free America

I had always heard about.

But the longer I spent observing how he used his freedom,

my feelings changed.

Can you spare a dollar?

I don't eat that much food.

I don't want to carry that around for so long,

I don't want to have to take three shits a day.

I'm not going to get any money from anybody or food

if I'm carrying a big bag of bagels around.

My objective is drinking right now.

And now I have to beg again, which I never beg.

I have to beg today to get some beer--

so I can think straight enough to know what's bothering me.

So you already knew the answer.

You already knew it, right?

I need to drink and think about it.

It doesn't involve you, but I just

still need to think about it.

When he threw away the bagels,

I couldn't stand it.

We had an argument.

I criticized him for taking advantage of people's kindness.

But then I thought to myself--

was I the one who was taking advantage of him by filming?

Shortly after this, my trip with Dylan ended.

Dylan stayed on the streets.

And I went back to my life in New York.

Everything looked different after the trip.

My few weeks on the streets showed me

that my everyday worries from before all seemed pointless.

I knew that whatever happened, I could survive.

I soon became busy making a film about Chinese human rights.

The survival skills I learned on the streets with Dylan

became useful as I was on the run across China chased

by the police.

I often find myself comparing my experience

filming in both countries.

I felt safer sleeping on the streets

than I did traveling in China on buses and trains.

Two years quickly went by.

I often wondered what would happen to Dylan

and if I would see him again.

I started

doing these around 2013.

What I would do is in between calls

or when I was on call and driving around in my work

truck, I would just take the GoPro to one of the windows

and just say what was on my mind.

It is a beautiful day.

Got to enjoy those every chance you get.

I am headed out to do some scouting on a target house--

a little bit.

And then I got to pick up some new handcuffs,

because mine got stuck on the last guy I arrested.

And that's really upsetting, because I've had that pair

of handcuffs for 24 years--

an entire career.

Two years after I first met Dylan,

I traveled to Utah for the first time

for the Chinese human rights film I was working on.

I remembered that Dylan was from Utah,

and I was curious to see if I could learn

more about where he came from.

I have lots of disks where

I have recorded my thoughts--

just like a video journal.

And there's a lot of things that are special to me, you know,

that I am glad I have documented.

ICAC search warrant Park City, Utah.

Police!

Search warrant!

Search warrant! Police!

Search warrant.

Police!

Search warrant!

I've been a detective since 2011.

I investigate sex crimes.

I'm also assigned to investigate internet crimes

against children.

We'll execute a search warrant.

High 90% of the time, we find evidence of child pornography.

Well, the first several times, I had

to review material, because I can't say, well,

I think this is child porn.

I have to review it and make sure what it is.

And I have to be able to describe

a number of images and videos.

So the first time I did have to do those reviews,

I got some vicarious trauma.

And I don't cry hardly ever.

I sat down at my desk one day and just started to cry.

This was a way to get those things off my chest.

Even though I'm only talking to myself,

I couldn't talk to other people about it.

Every once in a while, I'd wake up really early,

and I just couldn't go back to bed.

So I decided just go to work.

I started the camera from my driveway.

And it was super dark, so you can't see anything.

But you could hear what I was talking about.

I have three kids.

My youngest is 15.

He gets straight A's in school--

very smart.

My daughter is working on graduating from college.

She's so kind hearted and good.

And my oldest boy--

he's 23.

He's been a transient all around the country.

No parent wants their child to be homeless on the street.

I think when you're a parent, you want your children

to be kind like you.

He looks just like I did when I was his age or younger.

We have a lot of similarities in our voice and the way

that we really care about people.

All three of my children grew up with the same expectations

and the same knowledge.

And they all turned out so very differently.

I'm kind of a religious person.

Well, I'm actually a very religious person.

I wouldn't dream of breaking the rules.

But Dylan is all out there happily

breaking all the rules that he can get away with, you know?

I feel like if he has a sense of freedom with breaking rules,

you know?

I don't think he likes to be bound by anything.

Or I don't think he likes to be told what to do.

The way I see homeless people is people who made bad decisions,

you know?

And I'm sure if they could go back,

they'd change those bad decisions.

The way Ashton feels was 100% totally his choice.

He can do whatever he wants.

Dylan, the same way.

He has the freedom to choose.

I learned that Dylan

has a very loving family.

I wondered what made him choose to live on the streets.

Part of it is he hated Utah.

He hated the local religion.

And so he had made some friends.

And they had different philosophies.

There was drug use in those circles.

His drug habit got more and more intense.

And he'd had some psychological problems

that we tried to deal with.

He gets his medications, and he'll

go out and sell it for $300.

So there was a lot of frustrations,

you know, what can we do to help?

When you have a child you want to help,

you've got to simplify the rules.

And I had simple rules--

don't bring drugs into my house.

And I made him come up with the consequence.

All right, so if you violate these rules.

What's the consequences?

He came up with it.

He said, I'm out.

And so there was a time when I found some things in his room

here.

I just-- and I pointed it out to him.

And I said, well, what's going to happen now?

He says, dad, I don't know.

I got to go.

He told me, just drop me off in the mountains

or driving up on 89--

just drop me off in the mountains.

I said, I can't drop you off in the mountains.

He said, it's getting cold, and you'll die of exposure.

So I bought him a bus ticket to San Diego.

And I looked up every social service

program that can help him that was in the San Diego area.

I printed those up with maps.

I had his whole itinerary of being homeless planned.

Here's where the bus station is.

Here's where you can get some food.

Here's where someone can help you to get a job.

He was excited to go in a way.

And I'm frightened.

I'm terrified at this point.

So at the end of the day, I took him

down to the Greyhound station, and I

had that $400 in my pocket.

And I thought to myself, if I just give him $400 here,

and we part ways, he'll be in downtown Salt

Lake buying drugs.

So I waited until he was in line for the Greyhound bus.

Then I gave him $400.

I said, don't lose it.

Don't lose any of this stuff.

I want you to survive.

And I trust--

I trust you.

I trust that you can survive.

And I watched the bus go away.

And I call that one of the three saddest days of my life--

one of them being when Brendan died.

My first son passed away at birth.

And that was tough.

I remember going out to the cemetery and just crying.

I bathed his headstone in my tears.

I couldn't believe all the bad things that have

happened to me in my life--

one of them being when the woman that I was married

to for 18 years said she didn't want

to be married to me anymore.

I think the divorce was really hard for Dylan.

I think it might have had effects on Dylan.

But his behavior had more effects on us.

For me, I kind of had a breakdown, because I didn't

know what to do with him.

John didn't know what to do with him.

And I think it strained our relationship.

Dylan's mother agreed

to one interview with me.

But she didn't want to participate further

in the film, because reliving these memories

was very painful for her.

There's a lot of moms that have homeless children that

are addicts.

And you never sleep at night.

You always worry about them.

As any mom with an addicted child

will tell you that every time the phone rings,

you wonder if that's the call.

Every time there's a number that you don't recognize,

your heart drops, because you know

that someday there's a possibility that you're

going to get that call.

And that's something I worry about all the time.

She was always convinced that he was murdered somewhere.

And I-- I would say to myself, no, no if something that

bad happened, somebody would--

I know how law enforcement works.

They would have figured out who he was.

And I would have got a phone call.

So no news is good news, but it was a long time.

And I was just terrified, worrying like, oh,

my gosh, what did I do you?

You know, I just--

is he OK?

What's wrong?

Until the first time he called me.

Oh, man, I was so glad to hear his voice.

And he said, guess where I'm at?

He said he was on somebody's boat.

And they'd hired him to help him work on the guy's boat

and was paying him money.

And I thought, oh, my, gosh, hallelujah!

OK.

So now he's in a place that he likes.

And he has something positive, you know?

And that's the first time I learned this is where

Dylan just started being Dylan.

A few weeks later, he calls me--

guess where I'm at?

Where?

At a mansion in Malibu, drinking a glass of wine

and looking at the ocean.

And he sends me a text picture of a glass of wine,

and there's the ocean.

He's up on the hill in Malibu.

Oh, my gosh.

Hallelujah!

What?

What the heck.

San Diego-- Panama City, Florida, New York,

and all kinds of places.

Heck, he got on a sailboat and was 80 miles

off the shore in blue water.

I'm thinking this kid is living kind of a Forrest Gump, Walter

Mitty kind of existence, and--

and I started talking to my friends about it.

I'm proud of Dylan in so many respects.

You know?

And so interested.

But on the other side, what's he going to do when he gets old?

I think to myself, what are you doing, kid?

I'm confused, and I don't understand,

and I hope he's happy.

I hope he is always up for another adventure.

But I hope he's a healthy guy.

I hope he can find the balance there--

because I don't want him to die before I do.

Several months

after my first trip to Utah, John was getting remarried,

and he invited me to the wedding,

especially since Dylan would be there.

It would be the first time any of us had seen Dylan in years.

First, I would like to welcome

everybody for coming out today.

I could go on all day talking about how

wonderful my family is.

I just love them.

And my job makes me grateful even

more for my family every day.

I'm going to focus a little bit of attention on my children--

Dylan here.

Raise your hand, Dylan.

He's my oldest son.

Dylan is super-intelligent.

He is like one of the most awesome adventurers

I've ever known--

very resourceful.

And one thing about Dylan is he knows how

to write and express himself.

Like I read some of the things that this kid wrote.

And I just want him to put it in a book.

Kayla, she is the sweetest, most kindest person in the world

totally.

I love you very much.

Without further ado, I'll have Ashton play a song,

and in the middle of the song is when we'll introduce

my beautiful bride to you guys.

By virtue of the legal authority vested in me

as an elder of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day

Saints, I pronounce you John Corbon Olsen and Wendy

Sue May husband and wife legally and lawfully wedded for the--

for the period of your mortal lives.

May god bless you in this joy, your posterity, and a long life

of happiness together.

And may he enable you to keep sacred covenants you've made.

Mr. and Mrs. Olsen.

Hello.

I'm grandma.

Yeah.

I hear all about you-- how amazing you are.

Well, I don't think I'm that amazing.

People are nice though to say that.

I hear you are.

How long will you be here?

I'll Probably be here for a few months.

That's good.

Yeah.

I'll be hanging around.

It's good to be around the family.

I've been away for far too long.

So being around the family feels really nice.

It's good.

It's good.

It's good you're going to stay.

Mhm.

Yeah, I'm excited to stay.

There was this boy whose parents made

him come directly home right after school,

and when they went to their church,

they shook and lurched all over the church floor.

While Dylan was in Utah,

he took me to some of his memorable places.

Ever since I was a kid, I've always been so

attracted to the ascetic life--

the guy who lives out of a backpack and just travels.

This is a little place we used to hang out.

I ran away from home one time and stayed here for--

I don't know-- a good couple of days.

Utah-- this is a place of geographical wonder--

the high elevation mountain lakes--

the deserts-- the red rock--

the mountains-- the marsh lands--

the lakes-- everywhere.

This is where I grew up.

This is where I got to explore, and learn how to be a woodsman,

and learn how to learn how to swim and fish

and explore exploring itself.

Sadly, this place is very conservative and very

judgmental, predominantly populated

by people who want to worship their Lord and Savior Jesus.

Somebody like me with tattoos, an open mind, and--

you get shunned out.

You can't get a job.

You're judged.

You're scrutinized thoroughly.

If you smoke cigarettes, heaven forbid.

If you drink a beer, heaven forbid.

I love to come here to visit, but trying

to become part of the inner social structure of this state

is a bit more of a challenge than other places.

A man from the past living in the present.

So his presence is living in the future.

He only sought the things that the whole world forgot.

I am he.

He is me.

If you only knew he is another you.

That night, Dylan

asked me to show his family the footage I filmed

on the streets in Florida.

Dylan was excited to see it.

Oh I remember this dude.

This cat was weird.

I forgot about him.

That was the bagel store right there.

I love this man.

Good dude.

But gradually I

noticed that not everyone was comfortable seeing

Dylan as a homeless person.

Ahh, shit.

Ahh!

He's so awesome!

Oh, fucking asshole.

Son of a bitch.

After the screening,

Ashton told Dylan not to curse in front of him,

which made Dylan very upset.

You're a pain in the ass.

You realize that?

I just wish that he could see my side of the world

a little bit better.

If one day he wakes up and he is like,

wow, the Mormon religion is fucking bullshit

and my entire fucking life philosophy is gone.

Just like what happened to me-- if one day he

realizes that's gone, what the fuck would he do?

Instead of sleeping in his parents'

house, Dylan went to do drugs with his friends

on the mountain.

Dylan left Utah soon after the wedding.

It was then I remembered something that John told

me the first time I met him.

He had had some psychological problems

that we tried to deal with.

He gets his medications.

Then he'll go out and sell it for $300.

I ignored

what he told me back then.

I dismissed it as an overreaction

to Dylan's non-conformity.

But I realized my own bias kept me from hearing

what John tried to tell me.

Part of his mental issues was severe paranoia.

He starts to tell me that there's people after him.

And he starts naming names.

And I know these.

I knew one of the people was here and couldn't possibly

have even known where he was.

So I tried to convince him that he

was just having hallucinations.

How did you know it wasn't from the drug use?

Because I've known a lot of drug addicts

in the course of my career and people who were blitzed on you

name it.

And that's not a typical reaction to the drugs.

I know that the drugs compounded the issue.

I wonder when Dylan first

had that kind of experience and then whether he had told you.

It really didn't come on strong

until he was 17, 18 years old.

He's always been open and honest with me about bad things

going on in his life.

But I can't guarantee that he wasn't hiding something that

was bothering him or that he would

even know that this isn't real and this isn't the way it is.

I mean, he could have been experiencing things to this day

that he thinks were real that didn't actually happen.

Every time I close my eyes,

I'm mesmerized by some kind of dream.

Places I've never seen before, but I

feel like I've seen before.

The first time that I heard them so vividly,

I just thought I was possessed.

I'd look at somebody, and I swear,

I could hear what they were thinking.

And then I'd look at somebody else,

and I would hear what they were thinking.

And I was just afraid.

I don't even remember what happened after that.

I don't even know how I got.

Yeah, I really can't even remember what happened.

I went blank for like a week.

I could put it on the inside so it would be hidden.

- Which? - See how it's got this--

Where?

Oh, cool.

All right, go in the shade somewhere?

Mhm.

Here is the thing that I kept wondering

and I couldn't understand, because we

spent almost a month together.

And I did not notice anything, whether you behaved

differently, whether you were nervous,

or panicked, or anything-- was it just that time period--

just nothing happened?

You didn't hear voices.

You didn't see illusions?

No, I just didn't let it show.

Really?

Yeah, I just hide a lot of it.

How could you hide it if that's so strong?

Alcohol.

Really?

Alcohol helps.

But I mean, for instance, there was that one time we

were eating the dinner in South Beach,

sitting next to that family.

And some guy gave me a weird look-- some like gang banger

looking guy.

He looked at me-- what's up?

And it just-- immediately, I got this panic going on.

I remember the first thing I did is

I went and bought some alcohol.

And I got-- we got on that bus.

We were drinking the vodka, and I was all happy on the bus

after that.

I had been with Dylan that whole night filming

everything, but I missed this--

this entire narrative that was running in his head.

I went back to look at my footage

and finally noticed how much Dylan had been drinking.

It was constant.

Are you drunk?

He told me that the voices had always been there.

It's a sensation that I'm going

to deal with my whole life, and I'm just--

I'm basically in the, I don't know, kindergarten stage

of trying to understand these--

this phenomenon going on in my psyche, in my spirituality.

I'm trying to understand.

It's-- it's-- yeah, you can't--

it's something really difficult to explain,

and that's why there's such little compassion towards it.

- I - asked Dylan if he remembered

any of the voices he heard.

He said he had written them down.

And these are true things that I've

actually heard in the past.

"Look at him. He's so foolish.

Watch how he's doing it.

Yep, he hears us. That idiot.

You're always going to be someone's bitch, Dylan.

This is Project Craft Unit 278.

Your grandpa is dying right now.

Listen to him suffering in the hospital and the old man

moaning sound and groaning.

He has lasted longer than most San Diego."

When I was a child in China,

people in my village used to say that mental illness

was contagious.

When I grew up, the media said that people who protested

against the government had mental illness,

and I had seen how dissidents were

locked in mental hospitals.

When John first told me that Dylan was mentally ill,

I was in denial.

But now hearing Dylan describing his mental trauma,

I started to question my own perception of reality.

How do you know what things in your life

are real and are not real?

I can just feel it.

I have physical sensations in my body,

and I've had enough experiences where I know it's

not real and thought it was.

I know when it's not real.

No.

I can feel it.

Have you caught anything?

No.

I brought you some fish.

Are you serious?

My relationship with Dylan

is like boyfriend-girlfriend, I would say.

He finds so much beauty on the street.

It's so special that I get to see through his eyes

directly how it is.

So we love each other a lot.

But we live a lifestyle that constantly changes,

or we like when it changes.

And we love loving people.

After experiencing this, I feel like I won't be able to like

live a normal life ever again.

I don't see Dylan as mentally ill.

We think very imaginatively.

I think that's why we get along so well.

Maybe he's mentally ill because he doesn't want

to be part of the status quo.

But that's not mentally ill.

It's just a different opinion.

Over the next few days,

I met some of Dylan's homeless friends.

What's going on, bro?

How you doing, my man?

Many of them shared Dylan's experience.

How long have you been living this kind of lifestyle?

On and off for a lot of years.

I have OCD.

It makes it difficult to--

I mean, I can do education, but as far

as balancing the things of the workforce and life place--

I am incapable of doing that.

So this the last all I can do.

I had some experiences with voices.

I had little tricksters.

They would either laugh at me, tell me

good things, bad things, and then there was tricksters.

And you'd hear them giggling, and I'd

be like taking a shower.

Shut off the water and you know, and save water, you know?

I'm like, oh.

And then they're like, look how stupid she is?

She just turned off the water. - I know.

Right.

It goes on, and on, and on, and on.

Then finally, you put yourself in a corner,

and cover your head, and start crying--

bawling your eyes out like what did I do wrong this time?

My confidence, you know, like it went to crap.

If you tell any doctor that you hear things

and see things that other people can't, then that's

schizo affective.

That's just what they're going to say.

So some people are very afraid of that word.

I don't even like to use that word schizophrenia just

for that reason.

I'm sensitive to other energies and forces

in this world that are real.

I'm not mentally ill.

I'm really just experiencing stuff that's in the ether

that most people can't see.

It was difficult for me

to imagine their states of mind.

I wanted to understand Dylan's mind better.

So I asked him if he could visualize

some of his experiences for me.

Dylan came up with the idea to recreate moments

of mental trauma from his past.

He invited his homeless friends to create the re-enactments.

So if everyone can just find a random book,

take a book, and, uh, just use your intuition.

Somebody will sit there chair close to me,

and they'll just start reading aloud just, you know, quietly.

And I get confused and distracted.

And then it will just go around in a circle like that.

We've got one question, man.

Yeah?

What is the name of the movie?

"I'm Another You."

"I'm Another You."

Yeah.

That described schizophrenia pretty well.

Yeah, well, I mean, you know, I'm grateful that all of you

are here for this, because you know,

I hate to use the word schizophrenic, or bipolar,

or anything like that, because we're really

just empathic, sensitive people that don't

fit into this whole machine.

We're really-- we're really emotional.

And we see things other people can't see.

And it's important.

So I'm glad you guys are here.

Right on, brother.

"The homeless are close to the streets,

to the pavement, curbs, and the gutters, the concrete,

the litter, the sewer, the sewer lids, the fire hydrants,

and wastebaskets, and bus stops, and the store fronts and move

slowly over familiar terrain, day after day,

stopping to talk to each other, because time means little.

Stopping to watch a stalled car under hats and caps.

A new drug deal behind drugstore sunshades,

a strange face-- like sentries, they observe."

"The sexual images."."

"Look at that.

They had him hogtied, raped him, and then

put a knife to his chest."

I'm openly expressing the most

sensitive things about me.

If some people understood me, which I know they would,

I would appreciate that.

This isn't about me.

Most people with these kind of-- with a mind like mine,

they don't have skills to explain or illustrate

what's going on actually.

You asked me if I was homeless by choice.

And I would have said yes initially but--

because I did make the choice to be homeless.

But thinking about it on a deeper level,

it is definitely not a choice.

How am I supposed to keep a job when

I have these social paranoias and these hallucinations?

How can I call in sick maybe once or twice a week?

It's-- it's really not feasible.

By their standards, I'm mentally disabled.

I came to Florida to find

out whether Dylan was mentally ill and what his reality was.

But after understanding the complexities

of his mental health, addiction, and homelessness,

the question had become less important.

How do you spell your name?

Dylan.

I had seen how the mind can build prisons for itself.

I had seen, through people's treatment of Dylan,

how they were limited by their perception.

You see, you and I, like we don't differ all that much.

Yeah.

I'm just fascinated.

So what made you like-- did someone else do

this that you decided to do it?

I like him, you know?

He's a funny cat, man, you know, he's young.

He's finding himself.

I see Dylan's face in every homeless person that I see.

I came to the US in 2011.

I followed Dylan hoping to find something I've

been searching for all my life.

Along the way I've learned what I've been searching

for exists only in the mind.

"What else is there besides this?

Endless kisses from Mrs. Bliss herself,

escaping the clasp of the second-hand's ticking task,

kicking back the flask to bask with no mask.

Wherever he goes, he leaves an echo to show.

From the pitter patter of his feet to the magic incantation

he speaks, a man from the past living in the present.

So his presence is living in the future.

Yesterday and tomorrow, last week was seven years long.

The only thought in his mind was the singing bird's song.

He only sought the things that the whole world forgot.

I am he.

He is me.

If you only knew, he is another you."