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1
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:05,305
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,305 --> 00:00:06,973
Hey, Sam!
3
00:00:06,973 --> 00:00:08,341
Hey, Woody. Is it all right
4
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,310
if I hang some Christmas
decorations in here?
5
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:13,313
Sure. Boy, is it that time again?
6
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:16,316
Wow, Christmas comes earlier
every year, doesn't it?
7
00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:18,818
I think if you check, Sam,
8
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:22,822
it always comes on the 25th of December.
9
00:00:22,822 --> 00:00:24,324
Of course, of course, of course.
10
00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:27,277
Thank you, Woody, thank you.
11
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:29,779
Oh, look at that, will ya?
12
00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:30,663
Nice Rudolph.
13
00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:32,115
I made him myself.
14
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,116
No kidding?
15
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:35,118
You know, uh, Rudolph is my favorite guy
16
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,619
in the Christmas songs.
17
00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,004
Yeah.
18
00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:39,756
You know, apparently
then, Woody, you're unaware
19
00:00:39,756 --> 00:00:42,258
that the story of Rudolph
the Red-Nosed Reindeer
20
00:00:42,258 --> 00:00:43,259
is one of the most unrealistic,
21
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:44,761
and therefore potentially damaging
22
00:00:44,761 --> 00:00:46,262
in all of children's music.
23
00:00:46,262 --> 00:00:48,264
It gives them a horribly
distorted view of reality.
24
00:00:48,264 --> 00:00:50,767
Yeah, but you gotta admit,
it's easy to whistle.
25
00:00:50,767 --> 00:00:52,268
Look, I'm serious.
26
00:00:52,268 --> 00:00:54,938
You know, first the other reindeer tease
27
00:00:54,938 --> 00:00:56,306
and then ostracize him.
28
00:00:56,306 --> 00:01:00,226
And then when his abnormality
proves of service, they use him.
29
00:01:02,112 --> 00:01:03,396
But then do they allow him to play
30
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,397
in their stupid reindeer games?
31
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:05,398
BOTH: Yes.
32
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:06,399
Oh, no, no, no,
33
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:07,901
I know how the song goes.
34
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:08,902
In fact,
35
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,904
not only do Donner, Blitzen, et al,
36
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,907
not love him and laugh out with glee,
37
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,292
but they doubly despise the
bulbous-nosed little wimp.
38
00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,329
Well, I gotta be off.
39
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:20,713
(cheerful): Happy Holidays!
40
00:01:22,966 --> 00:01:26,419
(piano plays)
41
00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:29,172
? Making your way in the world today ?
42
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:32,175
? Takes everything you've got ?
43
00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:35,178
? Taking a break from all your worries ?
44
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:38,181
? Sure would help a lot ?
45
00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:44,737
? Wouldn't you like to get away? ?
46
00:01:44,737 --> 00:01:46,239
? Sometimes you want to go ?
47
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:51,744
? Where everybody knows your name ?
48
00:01:51,744 --> 00:01:56,749
? And they're always glad you came ?
49
00:01:56,749 --> 00:01:58,751
? You want to be where you can see ?
50
00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:01,754
? Our troubles are all the same ?
51
00:02:01,754 --> 00:02:06,759
? You want to be where
everybody knows your name ?
52
00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:09,262
? You want to go where people know ?
53
00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:11,764
? People are all the same ?
54
00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:16,269
? You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ?
55
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,911
Prithee, friends, what thinkst thou?
56
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:45,915
You look ridiculous.
57
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:47,917
I beg your pardon.
58
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:49,919
This is an absolutely authentic example
59
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,921
of feminine colonial headwear.
60
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,423
I'm sorry.
61
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,425
Thou lookest ridiculous.
62
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:01,431
Hey, Miss Chambers, what's
the pilgrim get-up for?
63
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,316
Oh, I was hoping somebody might ask.
64
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:06,269
We're gonna have to talk later, Woody.
65
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:10,273
My graduate American Literature
professor, Doctor Narsutis,
66
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:14,277
annually recreates the first
Thanksgiving dinner at his home.
67
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:17,780
He only invites two or
three favored students
68
00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:21,284
to break bread with his
family and other honored guests
69
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:23,286
such as William Styron.
70
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:25,288
And guess who's going to be there?
71
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:28,291
William Styron?
72
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:31,294
Yes, Woody.
73
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,795
Ah, heck, anybody coulda got it
74
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,297
if they'd really been listening.
75
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:38,801
What a wonderful
opportunity for you, Diane.
76
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:40,270
You know, perhaps in the evening
77
00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:42,272
you can establish a
rapport with Mr. Styron
78
00:03:42,272 --> 00:03:43,773
while passing the yams.
79
00:03:43,773 --> 00:03:45,775
Who knows? Come pie time,
80
00:03:45,775 --> 00:03:47,277
he may well have taken
you under his wing
81
00:03:47,277 --> 00:03:49,779
and launched you into
the literary galaxy.
82
00:03:49,779 --> 00:03:52,782
Frasier, you and I are of like mind.
83
00:03:52,782 --> 00:03:54,784
Except one of us is kidding.
84
00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:04,327
Sam, I had thought we would
spend the holidays together,
85
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,829
but when you made no
move in that direction,
86
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,831
I made these alternate plans.
87
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,833
I hope it won't spoil your holiday.
88
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:13,336
Thank you. No, I, I
have, I have other plans.
89
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:16,339
Oh, good. I'm glad to hear that.
90
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,840
And in all fairness, I will understand
91
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,342
if you get an escort for the day.
92
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,844
It really wouldn't hurt my
feelings in the slightest.
93
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:22,729
Good. Good, good,
94
00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,981
'cause I already have a date with Wendy.
95
00:04:24,981 --> 00:04:27,483
How could you?
96
00:04:27,483 --> 00:04:30,486
Now you just said that
it was okay, didn't you?
97
00:04:30,486 --> 00:04:32,989
Yes.
98
00:04:34,991 --> 00:04:36,993
I'm sorry.
99
00:04:36,993 --> 00:04:38,494
It's fine.
100
00:04:38,494 --> 00:04:39,495
Enjoy.
101
00:04:39,495 --> 00:04:40,496
Thank you.
102
00:04:40,496 --> 00:04:41,998
Besides, I know that
103
00:04:41,998 --> 00:04:44,500
we'll have many holidays together
104
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,502
when you and I are one.
105
00:04:46,502 --> 00:04:49,005
You already are one, Diane.
106
00:04:51,507 --> 00:04:55,011
So, what's everybody else doing?
107
00:04:55,011 --> 00:04:57,380
Oh, the holidays just
kind of snuck up...
108
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,214
NORM: My
mother-in-law...
109
00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:00,717
Yeah, that sounds like fun, too.
110
00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:04,470
Well, I'm on my own this year.
111
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:05,972
Kids aren't with ya?
112
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,358
Nah. They're in Atlantic City with Nick.
113
00:05:09,359 --> 00:05:11,861
Yeah, this is my first
Thanksgiving away from home.
114
00:05:11,861 --> 00:05:14,364
I mean, unless you count last year.
115
00:05:16,866 --> 00:05:18,868
Wait a second. Listen to you.
116
00:05:18,868 --> 00:05:20,370
Carla, you have a new place.
117
00:05:20,370 --> 00:05:21,871
You could have a little gathering.
118
00:05:21,871 --> 00:05:22,872
Forget it.
119
00:05:23,373 --> 00:05:24,874
Oh, come on.
120
00:05:24,874 --> 00:05:26,376
What could be more enjoyable
121
00:05:26,376 --> 00:05:28,878
than opening your heart
with holiday cheer?
122
00:05:28,878 --> 00:05:31,381
Opening yours with a can opener?
123
00:05:32,882 --> 00:05:34,884
That sounds great!
124
00:05:34,884 --> 00:05:37,387
No, I meant the first
part, Miss Chambers.
125
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:40,390
Well, why not?
126
00:05:40,390 --> 00:05:43,893
But it's gonna have to be potluck.
127
00:05:43,893 --> 00:05:45,895
Sammy, why don't you bring
your date and join us?
128
00:05:45,895 --> 00:05:46,896
All right.
129
00:05:46,896 --> 00:05:49,399
Tell you what, Carla.
I'm good for dessert.
130
00:05:49,399 --> 00:05:51,267
So I've been told.
131
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:53,519
You know, I'm glad to see
132
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:55,521
that you're all fending
off the holiday blues.
133
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:59,025
This time of year is
filled with arguments,
134
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,526
suicides, murders.
135
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:04,030
Yeah, I guess it's the seasonal
happiness of others tends
136
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,531
to throw a glaring light on the flaws
137
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,033
in our own interpersonal relationships.
138
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,534
But see, of course,
that's no problem for me.
139
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,920
I'm alone.
140
00:06:12,255 --> 00:06:14,123
Wanna join us for some bird, Frasier?
141
00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:16,592
Could I?
142
00:06:19,595 --> 00:06:21,097
Sure. The more the merrier.
143
00:06:21,097 --> 00:06:23,850
Hey, so, uh, what time do
you want us there, Carla?
144
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:26,135
What do you mean "us," Clavin?
145
00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,136
Well, you know...
146
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:28,137
This party
147
00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:31,023
is for lonelies, not homelies.
148
00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:34,527
Besides, you'll be with your mother.
149
00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:36,028
No, no, not this year.
150
00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:37,530
Uh, she's goin' down
151
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:39,031
and ladle out some cream of something
152
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:40,783
to the folks down at the Rescue Mission.
153
00:06:40,783 --> 00:06:42,568
Yeah. Oh, how sweet.
154
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:43,569
Why don't you join her?
155
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:44,570
Are you kiddin'?
156
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,072
I did my part this year.
157
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,574
I was in "Hands Across
America," remember?
158
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:50,960
Oh. Okay.
159
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:51,961
All right.
160
00:06:51,961 --> 00:06:53,463
Norm, how about you and Vera?
161
00:06:53,463 --> 00:06:54,464
Yeah?
162
00:06:54,464 --> 00:06:55,465
No, I can't make it this year.
163
00:06:55,465 --> 00:06:57,333
Why not? I mean, we never even met Vera.
164
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,134
CARLA: Yeah.
165
00:06:58,134 --> 00:06:59,635
No, we gotta go to Vera's mother's.
166
00:06:59,635 --> 00:07:01,637
Such a drag.
167
00:07:01,637 --> 00:07:05,057
No beer, no TV, heat turned up to 80.
168
00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:07,560
CLIFF: That's all
right, Normie, you know.
169
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:11,431
You gotta do what your
little wifey wants you to do.
170
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,816
You either got 'em or you don't.
171
00:07:13,816 --> 00:07:14,817
All right.
172
00:07:14,817 --> 00:07:16,819
You know somethin', Cliff,
you're absolutely right.
173
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:19,322
Eight years I've been goin'
to that old bat's house.
174
00:07:19,322 --> 00:07:20,690
I think Vera owes me one, all right?
175
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:22,575
I'm gonna march into that house.
176
00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:23,576
I'm just gonna say,
177
00:07:23,576 --> 00:07:25,528
"Vera, this year we're goin'
to Carla's for Thanksgiving.
178
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,029
That's the last I wanna
hear on the subject."
179
00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:29,031
All right! Good for you, Norm.
180
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,534
Okay, Norm's out.
181
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:35,004
Just count me in, all right? You'll see.
182
00:07:35,505 --> 00:07:37,006
Well, my house, noonish?
183
00:07:37,006 --> 00:07:40,009
WOODY: Oh, this is gonna
be the greatest, huh?
184
00:07:40,009 --> 00:07:41,511
SAM: All right.
185
00:07:41,511 --> 00:07:42,512
Well, I'm so relieved.
186
00:07:42,512 --> 00:07:44,013
Now I don't have to worry
187
00:07:44,013 --> 00:07:46,015
about my poor little
Thanksgiving orphans
188
00:07:46,015 --> 00:07:50,019
whilst I sup with the literati.
189
00:07:50,019 --> 00:07:52,021
Boy, you know, I don't
know who's luckier.
190
00:07:52,021 --> 00:07:54,474
You, 'cause you get to
go to that great party,
191
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:58,361
or us 'cause you get to
go to that great party.
192
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:07,653
Taken down at the 40.
193
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:10,406
And there's the gun
ending the first half.
194
00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:12,708
Yeah, this is just like bein' back home.
195
00:08:12,708 --> 00:08:14,710
Yeah, hey, uh, Carla, look, I, uh,
196
00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:16,712
I really wanna tell ya
how much I appreciate
197
00:08:16,712 --> 00:08:18,214
you, uh, invitin' me over here.
198
00:08:18,214 --> 00:08:19,582
Don't mention it.
199
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,217
I, uh, really appreciate it.
200
00:08:21,217 --> 00:08:23,002
No, I mean, don't ever mention
201
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:26,389
to anyone that I let you in this house.
202
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:29,559
May I change the channel
203
00:08:29,559 --> 00:08:31,561
or are you guys watching
this halftime salute
204
00:08:31,561 --> 00:08:32,562
to our fabulous universe?
205
00:08:32,562 --> 00:08:33,563
No, go ahead.
206
00:08:33,563 --> 00:08:34,981
Oh, the parade.
207
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:37,517
And who's this flying our way?
208
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,402
None other than a 60-foot Mighty Mouse.
209
00:08:39,402 --> 00:08:43,356
All right, Mighty Mouse!
210
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,357
(doorbell rings)
211
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,241
I'll get it.
212
00:08:48,244 --> 00:08:49,245
Afternoon, everybody.
213
00:08:49,245 --> 00:08:52,248
ALL: Norm!
214
00:08:52,248 --> 00:08:53,749
Where's Vera?
215
00:08:53,749 --> 00:08:56,752
She's, uh, she's gonna put
on a little more makeup.
216
00:08:56,752 --> 00:08:59,622
That, uh, first coat didn't really take.
217
00:09:02,592 --> 00:09:04,460
She is comin', isn't she?
218
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:06,796
Well, uh, maybe.
219
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,764
Well, what're you sayin' there, Normie?
220
00:09:08,764 --> 00:09:11,217
We had the worst fight of our marriage.
221
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:14,687
Oh, it's tough.
222
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:16,188
She knew how much this meant to me
223
00:09:16,188 --> 00:09:18,190
and she still insisted
on goin' to her mother's.
224
00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:21,694
So I told her, "Look,
I'm goin' to Carla's.
225
00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:23,195
"You wanna meet me there, fine.
226
00:09:23,195 --> 00:09:24,697
"If you want to go to your mother's,
227
00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:26,065
you can just stay there."
228
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,817
CLIFF: Brutal.
229
00:09:35,291 --> 00:09:36,292
Well, you know, Norm,
230
00:09:36,292 --> 00:09:38,294
I don't think you should worry about it.
231
00:09:38,294 --> 00:09:40,546
She'll probably come to
her senses and show up.
232
00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:43,382
The important thing is that
you're here with us now.
233
00:09:43,382 --> 00:09:45,885
This is gonna be the
best Thanksgiving ever.
234
00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:47,386
All right, Woody.
235
00:09:47,386 --> 00:09:50,506
You know, I brought
that turkey and, uh...
236
00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:56,262
Mr. P., that turkey
seems kinda big and raw.
237
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,147
You think it's gonna be
ready in time for dinner?
238
00:09:58,147 --> 00:10:02,018
Well, I had planned on just a
bit more cookin' time, Woods,
239
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,904
but, uh, traffic on I-93
was bumper-to-bumper.
240
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:06,272
I-93? I took the side streets.
241
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,157
I got here in 35 minutes, buddy.
242
00:10:08,157 --> 00:10:08,908
You didn't take Mass Avenue all the way?
243
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:10,409
I took Commonwealth.
244
00:10:10,409 --> 00:10:12,828
(all talking)
245
00:10:12,828 --> 00:10:14,830
I need the quickest way to
get to the kitchen right now.
246
00:10:14,830 --> 00:10:16,332
Oh, yeah, come on.
247
00:10:16,332 --> 00:10:17,333
I'll show you where everything is.
248
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,044
Oh, hey, no waitin'
around for my contribution.
249
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,046
Here ya go.
250
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,047
Popcorn balls!
251
00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:32,548
Chow down, hear?
252
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:34,050
Hey, aren't these what you brought
253
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,051
to the Halloween party?
254
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,053
Well, yeah, they're a
perennial favorite, Woodman.
255
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,054
Yeah, but aren't these the ones
256
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,555
you brought to the Halloween party?
257
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:41,524
(doorbell rings)
258
00:10:45,528 --> 00:10:47,279
Hi.
259
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:48,948
Oh, hi, Sammy. I thought
maybe you were Vera.
260
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:51,150
Boy, I can't wait to meet her.
261
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:52,568
FRASIER: Sammy, yo!
262
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:55,571
Hey, Sammy! Hey, Sam.
263
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:56,572
So, uh, where's your date?
264
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:59,075
Oh. Well, there's a change of plans.
265
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:00,576
Her sister showed up from out of town
266
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:04,580
and they didn't like my idea,
so what the hell, you know?
267
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:08,084
Hey, guys.
268
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,086
Hey, yeah, watch the parade.
269
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:17,009
You know, the important thing
is that you're here now, huh?
270
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,010
We're all here.
271
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:19,512
This is gonna be the greatest.
272
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,513
Yeah. Who needs family?
273
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,514
You know, Woody, you're right.
274
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,015
Family is not necessarily
275
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:24,517
limited to blood relations.
276
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,518
That's right.
277
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,019
Uh, this is much better
than, uh, hangin' around
278
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,021
with a bunch of dingbat
cousins all day long
279
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:30,523
that you don't get to
see but once a year, huh?
280
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,525
Yeah, or waiting for some
duddy old aunt to show up
281
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,577
(doorbell rings) and spoil all your fun.
282
00:11:34,577 --> 00:11:36,445
Gobble, gobble!
283
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,920
(doorbell rings)
284
00:11:46,672 --> 00:11:47,707
Come on, open the door.
285
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,708
No, no...
286
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,209
It's Thanksgiving, Carla.
287
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:51,711
Oh! Okay...
288
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,713
maybe she'll choke on a drumstick.
289
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:54,714
Yeah.
290
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,600
Thank you, Carla.
291
00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,518
Hello, everyone.
292
00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:01,020
Hi, Miss Chambers.
293
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:03,022
Hey, uh, Diane.
294
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:06,025
Ooh, Carla, I like what
you've done with the place.
295
00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:07,393
What do you want?
296
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:11,731
Well, I decided that I'd
rather be among friends
297
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,733
than with my stuffy old professor.
298
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,737
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
299
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:21,240
What happened?
300
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,742
Oh... Come on.
301
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:26,662
I'm afraid my golden
afternoon turned to dross.
302
00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:28,464
I thought it was clouding up.
303
00:12:30,466 --> 00:12:32,468
The moment I arrived at
the home of my professor,
304
00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:37,473
I was greeted by a man with a
clipboard who handed me a tray
305
00:12:37,473 --> 00:12:39,842
and told me to serve a
daiquiri to Ms. Radziwill.
306
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,093
Oh...
307
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:44,313
We students were
invited as domestic help.
308
00:12:44,313 --> 00:12:45,648
(Carla giggles)
309
00:12:49,151 --> 00:12:53,155
That might be all right when
you're a wide-eyed 19-year-old,
310
00:12:53,155 --> 00:12:56,025
but it's certainly not all
right when you're... not.
311
00:12:57,993 --> 00:12:59,862
We're all... we're very sorry, Diane.
312
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,831
Thank you, Sam.
313
00:13:01,831 --> 00:13:02,832
Yeah.
314
00:13:02,832 --> 00:13:05,334
Well, at least you told
that pinhead off, didn't ya?
315
00:13:05,334 --> 00:13:08,838
Oh, I dropped the
tray, burst into tears,
316
00:13:08,838 --> 00:13:12,708
took a moment to freshen
up my mascara, and fled.
317
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:15,461
The important thing is
you're here now, huh?
318
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,962
This is gonna be great.
319
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,465
Would somebody put a gag on Andy Hardy?
320
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,467
You know, Diane, if I were you,
321
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:22,468
I'd call that guy up
322
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,970
and nail his sheepskin to the wall.
323
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,972
You're absolutely right.
324
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:27,973
Hey, better yet.
325
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:31,227
Why don't you go on over
there and tell him in person?
326
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,528
Yeah, good idea. Yeah, that's right.
327
00:13:34,029 --> 00:13:35,531
Hello, Dr. Narsutis?
328
00:13:35,531 --> 00:13:37,032
This is Diane Chambers.
329
00:13:37,032 --> 00:13:39,034
I... yes, the one who fled.
330
00:13:39,034 --> 00:13:43,038
Listen, I... I beg your pardon?
331
00:13:43,038 --> 00:13:48,544
Well, yes, of course
I accept your apology.
332
00:13:48,544 --> 00:13:49,545
He's invited me back.
333
00:13:49,545 --> 00:13:52,414
Go, go. Go.
334
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,800
Dr. Narsutis, I'm sorry, I can't.
335
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,168
I'm here with my friends,
336
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:57,920
my support system,
337
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,222
and there's really no
place I'd rather be.
338
00:14:00,222 --> 00:14:04,727
I trust this won't affect my grade?
339
00:14:04,727 --> 00:14:05,728
Thank you.
340
00:14:05,728 --> 00:14:06,729
Good day, sir.
341
00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:09,648
Turned him down, huh?
342
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,986
Now that I find myself in
the warmth of your company
343
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:15,487
how could I possibly go?
344
00:14:15,988 --> 00:14:16,989
Take Mass Ave.
345
00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:18,490
I-93.
346
00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:20,492
You holiday hooligans.
347
00:14:20,492 --> 00:14:21,994
Give me a beer.
348
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,865
So, Sam--
Thanks.
349
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,366
Where's your date?
350
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,868
Oh, change of plans.
351
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,369
Her sister showed up.
352
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:32,371
Of course she did.
353
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:35,758
Chortle, chortle.
354
00:14:35,758 --> 00:14:38,210
No, I'm serious.
355
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,712
I had a date and it fell through.
356
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,597
Oh, you don't have to convince me, Sam.
357
00:14:41,597 --> 00:14:42,598
I believe you.
358
00:14:42,598 --> 00:14:45,601
I'm telling you the truth.
359
00:14:45,601 --> 00:14:47,970
And I love you for it.
360
00:14:50,773 --> 00:14:52,725
How's the turkey doing there, Norm?
361
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,727
I'd say pretty good
for about five minutes.
362
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,111
Oh.
363
00:14:56,111 --> 00:14:58,397
Hey, half-time's over.
The game's back on.
364
00:14:58,397 --> 00:14:59,398
Oh, great.
365
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,400
Oh, you're watching sports?
366
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:02,818
Hey, don't worry about it, Diane.
367
00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:03,903
Game's almost over.
368
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,288
Oh, I hope so.
369
00:15:06,288 --> 00:15:09,625
ANNOUNCER: ...knocked away
and it's incomplete at the 45.
370
00:15:12,127 --> 00:15:13,128
Yeah, I deliver his mail.
371
00:15:13,128 --> 00:15:15,631
Isn't this game over yet?
372
00:15:15,631 --> 00:15:16,382
Not yet.
373
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:17,716
Well, their uniforms
374
00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:19,969
are different colors than before.
375
00:15:19,969 --> 00:15:21,253
Uh, well, they gotta change them
376
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,138
every time they score
a touchdown, Diane.
377
00:15:24,974 --> 00:15:26,175
Hey, Normie,
378
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,010
where the hell is that bird?
379
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,895
Cliffy, it's a big turkey.
380
00:15:29,895 --> 00:15:31,013
So are you.
381
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:39,905
ANNOUNCER: ...with a
tremendous body slam!
382
00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:44,193
Now wait a minute!
383
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,694
Diane, Diane, you're absolutely right.
384
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:48,197
You know, let's turn it
back on the football, guys.
385
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,198
There you go. No, no, no!
386
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,699
Enough is enough!
387
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,701
I don't think watching television
388
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,703
was the pilgrims' original intent
389
00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:56,705
when they created the holiday.
390
00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:57,706
Well, uh...
391
00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:58,707
No, hey, hey, hey... Hey, come on!
392
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,709
All right, all right,
look, look, look, look,
393
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:03,212
the turkey's probably almost done.
394
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,713
Let's just adjourn to
the dining room, huh?
395
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:06,215
All right!
396
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,716
I second that emotion.
397
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:09,718
Okay, we'll be sitting
398
00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:10,719
boy-girl,
boy-girl.
399
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:13,722
Clavin, you can sit anywhere.
400
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,224
Somebody save me a seat.
401
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:17,226
I got to see a man about a horse.
402
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,728
He doesn't really have to
see a man about a horse.
403
00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:27,236
All right.
404
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,738
Well, what do you say
we, uh, dig into this, uh,
405
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,240
Jell-O surprise here?
406
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,741
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh...
407
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:33,742
we're not eating
408
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,244
until the turkey is on the table.
409
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,129
Everybody went to a lot of bother
410
00:16:37,129 --> 00:16:38,380
to make this fine meal.
411
00:16:38,380 --> 00:16:39,882
We're not going to eat it in pieces.
412
00:16:39,882 --> 00:16:42,885
Keep your hands off the food.
413
00:16:42,885 --> 00:16:44,887
Listen, guys, the, uh,
414
00:16:44,887 --> 00:16:47,389
turkey's not exactly brown just yet.
415
00:16:47,389 --> 00:16:48,390
What color is it, then?
416
00:16:48,390 --> 00:16:49,892
Off-white.
417
00:16:49,892 --> 00:16:52,394
(all moan)
418
00:16:52,394 --> 00:16:54,897
But I've reset the timer
and I turned up the gas.
419
00:16:54,897 --> 00:16:56,398
I expect the little pop thing
420
00:16:56,398 --> 00:16:57,399
will be popping out any time now.
421
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:00,903
Great. Well, I hope it
hurries 'cause I'm starved.
422
00:17:00,903 --> 00:17:04,907
Well, I suggest we take
advantage of the delay
423
00:17:04,907 --> 00:17:07,659
and engage in one of
my family's favorite
424
00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:09,862
little Thanksgiving traditions.
425
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,196
Sam, I know you're
standing in the hallway.
426
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:12,197
Get in here.
427
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:17,202
Rats.
428
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:18,704
In lieu of grace,
429
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,706
we stand up and take turns
430
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,708
toasting that for which we are thankful.
431
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,710
Since you're already standing,
Sam, why don't you begin?
432
00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:28,130
All right, I'm, uh...
433
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:32,634
I'm thankful that I have a
super car and a cool stereo
434
00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:35,554
and that I'm not dressed
in a pilgrim's outfit.
435
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:36,555
(chuckling)
436
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:37,556
I'll drink to that.
437
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,058
You make a mockery of everything.
438
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,309
Oh, well...
439
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,477
Hey, can I go next?
440
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:42,728
I don't see a line.
441
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,614
(chanting): Woody. Woody. Woody.
442
00:17:45,614 --> 00:17:47,116
(chuckles)
443
00:17:47,116 --> 00:17:48,117
Uh...
444
00:17:48,117 --> 00:17:50,486
I'm thankful that I'm an American.
445
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:51,954
Hey, all right.
446
00:17:51,954 --> 00:17:52,955
I'm thankful for the upbringing
447
00:17:52,955 --> 00:17:54,957
my parents gave me.
448
00:17:54,957 --> 00:17:57,459
Uh, I'm thankful for all the friends
449
00:17:57,459 --> 00:17:58,827
I've made in Boston.
450
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,629
And, uh...
451
00:18:00,629 --> 00:18:03,132
I'm thankful that I can do this.
452
00:18:03,132 --> 00:18:05,134
Yo!
453
00:18:05,134 --> 00:18:06,635
Put it away.
454
00:18:06,635 --> 00:18:07,503
(chuckling)
455
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,838
Hey, can you guys do this?
456
00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:11,340
Oh!
457
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,343
That makes my thing look kinda stupid.
458
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:15,844
I can wiggle my ears, watch this.
459
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,229
You guys ever see tongue push-ups?
460
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:18,564
Look at these ears flapping.
461
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:19,565
Watch this.
462
00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:21,066
Please, please!
463
00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:23,068
We are not here to be thankful
464
00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:26,572
for strange things we
can do with our bodies.
465
00:18:30,492 --> 00:18:31,994
Norman, you're next.
466
00:18:31,994 --> 00:18:34,413
Well, I'm thankful that
there's a turkey in the kitchen
467
00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:35,914
that needs to be checked.
468
00:18:35,914 --> 00:18:37,416
Yeah. Yeah, get the damn thing out here.
469
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:38,417
(everyone talking)
470
00:18:38,917 --> 00:18:41,920
All right, I guess I need
to give you an indication
471
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,422
of what I had in mind.
472
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:45,924
Now I, too, am very
thankful for my health
473
00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:47,426
and for my dear friends.
474
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:49,928
But on this very special occasion,
475
00:18:49,928 --> 00:18:51,430
my mind goes back over the years
476
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:53,932
to the people who have influenced me.
477
00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:57,436
And I would like to name
some of them for you.
478
00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:58,937
Teilhard Chardin...
479
00:19:00,772 --> 00:19:02,224
George Sand...
480
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,860
Caravaggio...
481
00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:07,646
Oh, Emily Dickenson...
482
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:09,031
the Buddha...
483
00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:11,867
Frank Lloyd Wright...
484
00:19:12,868 --> 00:19:14,369
...Jean d'Arc...
485
00:19:14,369 --> 00:19:16,872
Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop.
486
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:21,877
Uh, guys, uh, listen,
487
00:19:21,877 --> 00:19:23,378
I'm having a slight, uh, problem
488
00:19:23,378 --> 00:19:24,880
with the damn bird, all right?
489
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,882
What color is it now, Norman?
490
00:19:26,882 --> 00:19:29,384
Well, I think we're moving
into the earth tones.
491
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:35,841
This better be good news, Norm.
492
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,843
Look, uh, I'm sorry, guys.
493
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,344
The little pop thing won't pop out.
494
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:40,846
There's something wrong with it.
495
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:41,847
There's something wrong with you.
496
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,849
No, no, it's the little pop thing.
497
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,851
Hey, could somebody please explain to me
498
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,853
where the little pop
thing is on the turkey?
499
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,855
I mean, 'cause maybe it's
different in the city,
500
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,356
but in the country where I come from,
501
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:54,860
turkeys aren't born
with little pop things.
502
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,361
The little pop thing has a name!
503
00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:57,863
It's called a thermometer!
504
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,865
Now can we all please say "thermometer."
505
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:00,866
(yells): Thermometer!
506
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:01,867
Thermometer, yeah!
507
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,869
We can say it till
we're blue in the face.
508
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:06,371
It's not gonna make
it pop out any faster.
509
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:09,374
I think something's wrong
with your oven, Carla.
510
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:11,376
Hey, my oven was just fine
511
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,262
until you stuffed Birdzilla in it.
512
00:20:15,013 --> 00:20:17,015
Come on, you guys, come on.
513
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:20,018
We don't have to bite each
other's heads off here.
514
00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:22,938
It may be the only thing we
get to eat this day, Sammy.
515
00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:27,476
Hey, you guys, this is Thanksgiving.
516
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:30,979
And I still say this is
going to be the greatest.
517
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:32,898
Oh, who the hell do
we think we're kidding?
518
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,399
We're all a bunch of pathetic dropouts.
519
00:20:34,866 --> 00:20:37,236
Scorned by our loved ones,
520
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,737
as if anybody ever loved us at all.
521
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,739
Hey, will you lighten up, man?
522
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:42,241
The only thing wrong
here is we're hungry.
523
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,742
Now who else wants
to join me in these...
524
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:47,212
ice-cold potatoes?
525
00:20:47,212 --> 00:20:49,881
Hey, they'll go great here
with the, uh, Jell-O soup.
526
00:20:49,881 --> 00:20:51,333
I'm dying to try some of the hair
527
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:54,253
growing on the crudit�s.
528
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,255
Well, pass me my peas.
529
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,141
I made them so I know they're okay.
530
00:20:59,141 --> 00:21:02,010
Was that remark, uh, directed
at me, Carla, by any chance?
531
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:04,513
No, it was directed
at your stupid turkey
532
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:07,015
and your stupid stuffing
and your stupid gravy.
533
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:08,517
What's wrong with my gravy?
534
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:09,818
Oh, nothing, except you could
535
00:21:09,818 --> 00:21:12,738
walk across the skin on top of it.
536
00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:14,239
Oh, well, I'm sorry, Julia Child.
537
00:21:14,239 --> 00:21:15,741
Here's your perfect peas.
538
00:21:15,741 --> 00:21:17,743
Oh, look, I spilled one. Sorry.
539
00:21:20,746 --> 00:21:21,747
Thank you.
540
00:21:23,665 --> 00:21:26,668
Norm, I'm sorry about what
I said about your gravy.
541
00:21:26,668 --> 00:21:28,170
All right.
542
00:21:28,170 --> 00:21:29,538
It's okay. Fine.
543
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:30,922
And so are the carrots.
544
00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:37,679
Uh, anybody want some of
these, uh, lovely yams?
545
00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:47,306
Woody, would you care
to test the gravy skin?
546
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,311
People! People! People!
547
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:55,063
Stop this immediately!
548
00:22:00,118 --> 00:22:06,541
I have never been witness
to such a silly, soph...
549
00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:16,385
Sam Malone...
550
00:22:16,885 --> 00:22:18,253
kiss your butt good-bye!
551
00:22:18,253 --> 00:22:19,638
Food fight!
552
00:22:19,638 --> 00:22:22,641
(yelling)
553
00:22:32,651 --> 00:22:34,152
(yelling)
554
00:22:41,410 --> 00:22:43,362
I knew this was gonna be the greatest.
555
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,863
Huh?
556
00:22:44,863 --> 00:22:46,114
Good bird.
557
00:22:46,114 --> 00:22:48,450
Hey, Diane, may I say
558
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:50,952
you look saucy in cranberry.
559
00:22:50,952 --> 00:22:51,953
(chuckling)
560
00:22:51,953 --> 00:22:53,955
Laugh while you can, Sam.
561
00:22:53,955 --> 00:22:56,458
Just remember that revenge is a dish
562
00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:57,959
best served cold.
563
00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:00,462
You won't know when and
you won't know where,
564
00:23:00,462 --> 00:23:02,464
but I'm going to get you.
565
00:23:02,464 --> 00:23:03,965
Now that we're done with dinner,
566
00:23:03,965 --> 00:23:05,967
I'd like to make a
toast to our loved ones
567
00:23:05,967 --> 00:23:08,470
who weren't fortunate
enough to be here with us.
568
00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:09,971
Nice thought.
569
00:23:09,971 --> 00:23:12,808
Uh, Mom, Dad...
570
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:14,359
Uncle Fergie...
571
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:15,861
My kids.
572
00:23:15,861 --> 00:23:17,362
All right, Vera.
573
00:23:17,362 --> 00:23:18,363
Yeah. Ma.
574
00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:20,365
Coach. ALL: Yeah.
575
00:23:21,366 --> 00:23:23,368
Oh... God bless you all. Very nice.
576
00:23:24,870 --> 00:23:27,873
Well, I think we're
about ready for dessert.
577
00:23:27,873 --> 00:23:28,874
Yeah.
578
00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:30,375
Everybody get enough to eat?
579
00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:32,377
You know, I never had a
chance to try the potatoes.
580
00:23:32,377 --> 00:23:33,378
(doorbell rings) I'll get it.
581
00:23:33,879 --> 00:23:35,380
Oh, well, here, let
me, uh... Oh, thank you.
582
00:23:35,380 --> 00:23:36,381
There you go, man. Sure.
583
00:23:39,134 --> 00:23:40,635
NORM: Vera. You came.
584
00:23:40,635 --> 00:23:42,137
Honey, I'm so happy.
585
00:23:42,137 --> 00:23:43,138
Hey, you guys, uh...
586
00:23:43,138 --> 00:23:45,640
Come on, Vera, come on
in, meet all the guys.
587
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,642
This is great. We
finally get to meet Vera.
588
00:23:47,642 --> 00:23:49,511
Sam...
589
00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,263
think fast!
590
00:23:55,767 --> 00:23:58,653
Everybody, this is, uh, Vera...
591
00:23:58,653 --> 00:23:59,988
VERA: Charming friends, Norm.
592
00:23:59,988 --> 00:24:00,989
Get your coat.
593
00:24:00,989 --> 00:24:02,491
NORM: Yes, dear.41263
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