Original subtitles

Look at the light, folks.

There's the light that just brings love.

That's it, that's it.

That says peace on earth goodwill to all men.

Charlie, my boy.

Mr. Gregory.

- What is it? - The relief waiters are here.

It's about time.

What are you staring at?

Ice water.

Come on, you guys, get your money out

before I shoot.

Put that dough in a pile and don't try any tricks!

When I say I'll shoot, I mean I'll shoot.

I win!

I win again!

Who are you?

We're the relief waiters.

Yeah, we used to work at a gas station.

Yes, the employment agency sent us here.

With all the people out of work,

the agency had to send you two!

Oh, that's very nice of you to say that.

Well, as busy as we are tonight,

I might as well make the best of it.

- Button your coat. - Yes, sir.

Straighten out your tie.

Be neat, pull down your vest.

Look, I want no trouble with you two.

You won't have any.

One mistake and I'll throw you out.

Yes, you will.

Yes, I will!

I said you would!

- Get in there. - Yes, sir.

- Follow me. - Okay.

Now we want our patrons to feel like they're members

of one big happy family.

Hey, quick.

I just saw the Andrews Sisters, the three of 'em.

Quiet, quiet.

These are your tables.

See if you can make a waiter out of this person.

- I'll try. - A snooty sort of a fella!

All right, nevermind that.

Now come here, look.

When a customer comes in, you push the chair

under them like that.

When they get up, you pull the chair back, like that.

Oh they go to sit down, I push it in.

- Under. - When they get up, I...

- You pull it back. - Sure, sure.

Now that's all there is to that.

What happens here now?

Well, when you get your order,

you go to the checker and show 'em your slip.

I what?

Show the checker your slip.

I can't.

- Why not? - I'm ashamed to tell ya.

- Why? - I'm not wearing any.

No, I don't mean that. You've gotta check up on your food.

Uh huh.

But remember everything I told you.

Yeah, if a guy comes in and wants to sit down,

- I push the chair in. - Mm hm.

- If he gets up, pull it out. - That's right.

- Anybody knows that. - Now wait a minute.

There's three very important things I want you to remember.

If a customer asks you how much is dinner, say $3.

- Yeah. - See?

If they say "Well, it's too much."

You say, "Well, see the manager."

Then they say, "Well, we won't eat here."

You say, "Well if you don't, somebody else will."

- Somebody else will? - Somebody else will.

That's all you have to remember...

Oh sure, sure, I'll remember that.

Wait a minute, I've got to wait on the table over here.

Now don't forget that.

Run it over in your mind.

I'll keep punchin'!

If I wanna be a good waiter, I gotta remember these things.

$3 for dinner, go tell the manager,

if you don't, somebody else will.

$3, tell the manager, if you don't, somebody else will.

Hello, girls.

$3, tell the manager, somebody else will.

Yep.

Oh.

$3. - Oh!

Where did that guy go?

What did you pull that chair for?

$3.

I'll report you for this.

Tell it to the manager.

Why I oughta punch you in the nose.

If you don't, somebody else will.

Introducing three wonderful singers of wonderful songs.

The Andrews Sisters; Maxene, Laverne, and Patty.

Good evening, Alderman.

How is Mrs. Birch?

Oh, she's swell, thanks.

I'll get you a nice ringside table, sir.

No, please.

You see, that is I'd like a table in the corner somewhere.

Here I am, Daddy.

Oh, this way, please.

Hey, you.

Oh, excuse me.

How do you do?

Thank you.

Good evening, folks.

Wanna start off with a little soup?

Yeah, I don't like soup.

Give me the reason.

I don't have to give any reason

other than I don't like soup!

Well, maybe the young lady would like to have some soup.

She doesn't like soup either.

It's good soup.

I don't care how good it is!

We don't want any soup!

Well somebody's gotta eat the soup!

Well, feed it to the chef.

The chef is souped up now!

Daddy, I think I will have some soup.

You'll do nothing of the sort.

Oh, Daddy!

I mean after all, don't talk back to your father.

I'm not her father.

Well then why don't you let the young lady

have some soup then, why don't ya?

All right, give her soup.

Give me some soup.

Give us both some soup!

I'm sorry, but we've run out of soup.

You've got it here on the menu!

Well, I'll take it out of the menu.

I mean after all, we ain't gonna give

you nothin' we ain't got in there.

So.

I'm awful glad he ain't your father.

Here, wash it down.

I mean because I think you're awfully cute.

Oh boy.

Oh, Gregory.

Mr. Bannister.

Is Moose Matson here?

Certainly, Mr. Moose Matson is right over there...

All right, all right, all right.

Mr. Bannister?

Thanks for leading me to the Moose.

Look Charlie, this is not the time or the place

to start anything with the Moose.

Start anything?

I'm here to finish it.

Maybe he's afraid you will double cross him.

I will in exactly 15 minutes from now.

I'll prove it to the district attorney.

Prove what?

Never mind, just whisper payroll job to the Moose.

He'll know.

You sure?

Yeah, also he'll know I'm the only guy in the world

- that can pin it on him. - He never mentioned it to me.

Why should he?

You're only his head front man, sidekick and backstabber.

How much of it do you want?

All of it.

But the Moose being a friend, I'll settle for half.

- Hello, hello, hello, girls. - Hi, Moose.

Meet my top man, Mr. Bannister.

- Hello, come on, sit down. - Hello, girls.

Yes, let's make it a foursome.

Here's that legal matter you dictated to your mouthpiece.

Oh.

Well, will it hold up in court?

Well, he's the lawyer.

Says it's screwy but it's ironclad.

There's something else.

I just ran into Charlie Smith.

Girls, go powder your noses or something, will ya?

Go on, beat it.

Don't be long, Moose.

Okay, honey.

Come on, gentlemen.

Well?

Charlie Smith said that you beat him

to that Worthington payroll job.

And he wants a 50/50 cut to keep quiet.

That cap pistol hoodlum!

Then he said if you don't come across,

he'll tell the D.A..

Well let the stool pigeon sing!

I'll knock him off his perch.

If you've still got the cash,

I think we oughta make him an offer.

I've got it all right.

But you tell him that he's gotta

find it before he can cut in.

Where is it, Moose?

I'm on your side, surely you can tell me.

Sure.

The hiding place for my money is in my head.

Is everybody happy?

Yes!

Then everybody dance!

Well, come on, Daddy.

Didn't you hear what Ted Lewis said?

Everybody dance.

Oh, no, no, no, thank you.

Aw but, all right then, I'll find myself another partner!

If you do, I leave.

Put it right down here.

Your food, sir.

Eat it yourself!

I will.

Yeah, boy!

Come on, if you wanna be a kind gentleman,

it's okay with me.

Is everybody happy?

Everybody!

Me too.

Sure.

Hey, come on, what do you call this?

Duck.

What's the matter, what happened?

Somebody throw something?

No, no, no, that's the duck.

Don't you mean, oh, I thought you meant the...

No, no.

Now come on, I want two legs.

- You want two legs? - Two legs.

How many legs you think is on this thing?

Well wait a minute, wait a minute,

you can't do it that way.

Wait a minute, now what are you,

put that down before you cut your hands off.

I'm spankin' it!

- I'm spankin' it. - Well pull a leg off.

I don't care how I get it.

That's it, that's it.

Come on, give.

The boss, the boss!

You're both fired!

Thanks for our old job at the gas station!

Get out!

I'm sorry we was thrown out of that place.

Ah, keep quiet.

I apologize.

Never mind.

Will you give me that!

- You want it? - Yes, give...

- Oh. - Now look what you did!

I'm sorry, Chuck.

You're sorry!

Look what you did to me now!

Let's get to work.

Now we're a couple of shadows.

- Okay, I'll get to work. - Yes, you oughta be

ashamed of yourself.

I am, Chuck.

But I'm gonna make you proud of me one of these fine days.

What do you mean?

I'm not gonna be a gas attendant all my life.

I'm gonna have a night club of my own.

Some day I'm gonna have Ted Lewis

and the Andrews Sisters work for me.

You own a nightclub!

Don't look now but your eye is dripping.

Quiet!

You just had us thrown out of one.

- Well, I'm sorry. - And if we don't get

on the job, they'll have to us thrown out here.

, Okay.

All right, Chuck, I'll work hard,

but I don't intend to be a gas attendant all my life.

Hey, Chuck.

Oh, don't bother me, Ferdie, I'm busy.

And stop playing with those balloons.

I'm gonna try and blow 'em up.

- Put those balloons away. - Okay.

Come on, get on the job, we're busy.

What's the matter with you?

- Hey, Chuck? - What?

Eight gallons for $1,

that's pretty cheap, ain't it?

Yes, of course that don't include ethyl.

You mean ethyl is a little more expensive?

Well certainly it's up.

If a car drove up here and asked you for ethyl,

what would you do?

I'd say that she don't work here anymore.

No, no, no.

- You'd put ethyl in the car. - Why would I do that?

I don't even know the girl!

- Oh, right. - She's got no right

hangin' around here.

What can we do for you, check your oil?

No.

You know we've got a special on.

I think you got a blowout!

Just one of his pranks.

What can we do for you?

I just want to park it for a couple of hours.

Why certainly, nothing but service.

Ferdie, park the man's car.

- Right! - Be careful with it.

Be careful with it chief, I just had it waxed.

Don't you worry about think around here.

He should have his drivers license taken away from him.

I'll see that he does, as soon as he gets one.

All right, all right.

All right, what's the matters?

I know.

- Yes, sir. - 10 gallons of gas,

and I'm in a hurry.

- Check your oil? - No!

- Okay. - Want some oil?

- No! - I just asked the man.

Now check the water.

The water's okay, hurry with the gas.

By the way we have a sale on the day.

With every four quarts of Golden Nector oil

we give you pint of Diefly.

It kills moths in rugs, as well as bugs and slugs.

10 gallons of gas.

Want some oil?

No!

What's the matter, you a tough guy?

- Yes! - Wait a minute...

- All right. - You're wasting

the man's time, clean up the back of the car.

- Okay. - Say, how about a nice,

new set of tires?

Here's our gift card.

Now when that's fully punched, you get new set of dishes.

The little lady'll enjoy that.

I'm not married.

Want some oil?

I don't want any tires or dishes or fly spray or grease.

And most of all, I don't want oil!

Well in case you want some, we got it.

Hurry up with that gas, will ya?

Quit stalling around. Get the gas in there, will ya?

All right.

What do you know?

Ain't loaded.

What was that?

Say, that looks like Moose Matson!

Moose Matson?

You're right.

What are you doing in there?

Hey, what's the big idea?

I wanna get outta here.

I wanna get back to the gas station.

- I wanna... - What is it you want?

I want my mama.

Get over here and drive.

Come on, hey you. You get up there and help him out.

Oh, all right.

- Make it snappy. - Yes, sir.

Look out there!

Whoa!

Ah!

Oh, oh, oh!

It's awful quiet, ain't it?

Pull over some place, will ya?

Lefty, get a doctor, will ya?

Lefty, who is Lefty?

- I don't know. - Lefty isn't here.

"I, Sidney Matson, known as Moose Matson

"being of sound mind and under no duress,

"do hereby make this my last will and testament.

"Whereas anybody who would associate

"with me in the first place must be a rat,

"and whereas I can't tell my friends

"from stoolies, leeches or chiselers,

"and whereas it's impossible to foresee who will turn yellow

"when the going gets tough."

"Therefore, I hereby bequeath all my worldly possessions"

"to those with me at the final moment when"

"the coppers dim my lights."

- That's us! - Yeah.

You mean, we get his money?

Well there is none as far as we know.

Moose Matson always said that he kept his money in his head.

But we never learned what he meant.

No the only tangible asset bequeathed to you,

is a tavern on what used to be Highway 129.

A tavern?

- That's a hotel. - Yeah.

Now that's funny.

One minute you work in a gas station,

the next minute you own a hotel.

Next minute you're back in the station.

Send Mr. Smith in.

I've taken the liberty of asking my associate, Mr. Smith,

to accompany you to your property

and officially turn over the keys.

You sure it won't be too much bother?

Oh, no bother at all.

Just one of the conveniences we supply.

Well hello, Charlie.

Meet Mr. Murray and Mr. Jones.

Mr. Murray, Mr. Jones.

Hello.

These are the beneficiaries of the Matson will.

Oh yes, I know all about them.

Are you sure it won't be too much

trouble to take us there?

Not at all.

I'll see that you're well taken care of.

Oh, thanks.

Now since your property's off the main highway,

we'll take a private bus to get there.

I'm making all arrangements.

Now you meet me tomorrow morning at eight o'clock

at 4th and Elm.

- We'll be there. - Yeah.

Oh, incidentally the bus is operated

by a man named Harry Hoskins.

You'll see his name on the car.

I hope we're not putting you out any.

Not at all.

It's gonna be a pleasure to take you boys for a ride.

I'll see ya tomorrow.

He's gonna take us for a ride!

Hey Chuck, we don't want no roadhouse.

Anything you get for nothin' is no good.

Let's get back to the gas station.

Oh that's fine.

Just when you get an opportunity to advance yourself,

a chance to become somebody,

you wanna be a gas station attendant!

You missed 'em!

Oh hi baby, let's go.

- Just me just one. - Please, give her the letter.

Hey, here's the bus, Harry Hoskins.

Oh yeah, Harry Hoskins.

Hey, what are you doing in that car?

Oh, I'm Chuck Murray.

All right, behave yourself.

- This is Ferdie Jones. - Hi.

We're supposed to pick up a ride here.

Yeah, our friend Mr. Smith,

he said he'd make all arrangements.

- Yeah. - Oh, Charlie.

- Yeah. - Oh so you're the gentlemen.

- That's us. - Here, let me take

- these bags. - Give the man a hand.

Okay, here you are.

No, no, give him a hand with the bags!

You said give the guy a hand, so give my hand...

Well all right, pick up the bag and give it to him.

Sure.

Do you know anything about the Forrester's Club?

Yeah, yeah, I do.

Oh, you know about the Forrester's Club?

- We inherited it. - Oh you did?

Yes, yes, that'll be the...

- Hey, which way you goin'? - What's the matter?

- Why north of course. - Sure.

- You're going north? - Mm hm.

Don't you wish you were goin' south?

Why?

That's the way your bag went.

Well you know,

- why you... - We'll be leaving

as soon as the rest of my passengers get here.

Rest of the passengers?

I thought we were the only two.

- Well, I... - Mr. Hoskins?

- Yes. - Oh, how do you do?

- I'm Norma Lind. - Oh, yes, Miss Lind.

This is Mr. Murray, Mr. Jones.

- How do you do? - Hello, hello, hello.

Have I got time for some breakfast

and the drugstore before we leave?

- Oh yeah. - Oh sure, we'll wait for you.

- Sure. - Anytime I'll wait for you.

Thanks.

I'd love to buy breakfast for you myself!

Now what are you trying to be, a cavalier?

- Yeah. - Sure.

- What's a cavalier? - A cavalier?

Well where I come from a cavalier is a man

who takes a girl out, wines and dines her and takes her home

and says good night without even kissing her.

That's what you call a cavalier?

Mm hm, where I come from.

Where you come from.

Where I come from they call 'em suckers.

Oh, well.

- Thanks all. - Oh, Mr. Hoskins?

Mr. Hoskins!

Why don't you look where you're going? Are you blind?

Line up and I hit you, didn't I?

Come on, get up.

Did you get hurt?

- No, I'm all right. - She's all right.

- Mr. Hoskins? - This is Mr. Hoskins.

Oh, Mr. Hoskins, I'm Miss Brewster,

Camille Brewster, the radio actress.

Oh yes, Miss Brewster.

This is Mr. Murray and Mr. Jones.

How do you do?

Suppose you two boys have heard me a lot

of times on the air too, huh?

No?

Well see if you recognize me.

Air raid alarm.

Wait a minute.

That's the scream that opens The Tales of Terror programs.

- Right? - Right.

I knew it.

Yeah that was the scream, but no more.

- No? - After 60 programs,

I got mad.

I told 'em I was an actress, not just a sound effect.

So I quit!

Guess I'll have to go back to the movies.

Movie actress?

No, usherette.

Something to drink, lady?

Draw one.

Draw one, right.

May I have service, please?

Yes, sir.

How long ago was your orange juice squeezed?

Why, it's fresh this morning.

What time this morning?

Exactly an hour ago.

Oh, that's exactly a half an hour too long.

Oh its vitamin C content

was deficient a half hour after squeezing.

People need vitamin C.

Now you take that girl over there.

Hyperthyroid, slight pituitary deficiency.

Yeah, she'd be much better off if she had

fewer eggs and drank more orange juice.

I'm doing all right, brother.

Yes, certainly.

I'm doing some special research on glands

and their vitamin consumption.

I'm a doctor.

Oh huh.

If this is a line, it's at least a new one.

Oh no, no, I have my credentials here some place.

I had them in my pocket.

Where could they be?

What happened to them?

And don't think I didn't see you do that.

- Mr. Jenkins. - Yes?

Can I squeeze him with my own hands?

What's seems to be the trouble?

I have just poured a glass of your

orange juice down the drain.

I squeezed a fresh batch an hour ago.

And it's now exact, is that the right time?

- Yes. - Oh, wow!

I beg your pardon.

Are you sure you never heard me on the air?

- No. - Camille Brewster?

You must have a cheap radio.

Oh, sorry I'm late.

Sorry I'm late, mister.

Well, sorry I'm late, I gotta go now.

- Let's all go. - No, I'm not gonna leave now,

I gotta wait for my friend Charlie Smith.

Here comes Charlie Smith.

- Hello, Charlie. - Hello boys.

- How are ya? - Hey, Charlie.

I told you not to pick up any other passengers.

So I make a few extra bucks.

They won't bother you.

Hello, Charlie, how are ya?

- Glad to see you, boys. - Glad you're here.

- How are ya, Charlie? - I'm sorry I'm late.

- That's all right. - It's all right, Charlie.

Hey.

- The age of chiselry. - Yeah.

- Hey Chuck, wait a minute. - Huh?

I'm surprised at you!

Ain't you got no manners?

I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.

Thank you, you're a little gentleman.

Thank you, excuse me.

Go ahead,

ruin the man's car.

Don't you think you'll ruin your eyes

reading in a moving car?

Oh I only have this much more to go.

Mr. Jones, are you a married man?

No.

Neither am I.

He's old enough, ain't he?

Oh, yes.

Certainly I'm old enough.

I play games.

I play post office.

Post office?

Oh, that's a kid's game.

Not the way I play it.

Sorry to take you folks out of the way like this.

Boy, what a mess!

See, what'd I tell you?

Old shutters!

Looks like the setting for.

The Death of The Howling Corpse.

I don't like the looks of the road,

especially in this weather.

Now if it's all right with these gentlemen,

I suggest we stay here for the night

and get an early start in the morning.

- No. - That's fine by us.

Yeah, I'd love to have you people.

What do you think, Doctor?

Well it's probably smartest thing to do.

There might be a washout on the road ahead.

Now you just leave everything to me.

Here, get in out of the rain,

- while I'll get your bags. - All right.

Come on everybody.

It's a good thing we got all these groceries.

Come on, please.

Oh, can I use your flashlight?

See, what'd I tell you, Chuck?

The first thing that goes is a shutter.

Oh, quiet.

Are you sure you got the right key?

Well, that's the only one.

- Let me try. - Go ahead.

I don't like this, Doc, I'm telling you.

I don't like these kinds of places.

Any place painted dark brown I never cared for.

- He can't open it. - He can't?

Here, hold the groceries, Chuck.

- What are you gonna do? - Hey, stand back, stand back.

I'll show you how I used to do it

when I played cowboys and Indians.

I used to be a barricading ram, the ram.

Attack!

Are you all right, Ferdie?

Who moved the door?

What's on him, a cobweb?

It ain't a wedding veil.

Let's have a look around here.

Well at least the roof is still on.

Oh, a spooky joint.

Check, what was that?

I think we should, just a minute.

He's running away with our baggage!

I should've known better than

to let that little snag my loan.

- What do you mean? - That's the oldest chisel

in the world.

- What? - What?

The wildcat bus racket.

Collect the fares and the luggage

then get rid of the passengers.

So we're stuck.

Well, we'd better all get in the house before we drown.

Why ya dirty crook, you.

He run away with my toothbrush.

Yeah and my new nightgown and a pair of mules.

You got a pair of mules?

Certainly, now I gotta get outta bed without my mules!

You gotta get outta bed without your mules?

Yeah, I always keep a pair of mules under my bed.

Don't the board of health say nothin'?

What do you know?

You dirty crook!

At least boys, we've got a place to sleep.

We might as well warm the place up.

- I'll build a fire. - Hey, Chuck.

Hey check, oh, Chuck, oh, Chuck?

All right, don't get excited, I'm here.

Don't ever leave.

I better keep this flashlight.

Find the cellar and rustle up some real heat.

You get busy with the food.

- Oh. - There's something

wrong here, Ferdie.

Where are you, Ferdie.

I feel a damp opening.

You've got your hand in my mouth!

Oh, you.

Gee, that's a wonderful fire, Doc.

Yes, I used to be a boy scout counselor.

Do that again?

What?

Smile.

Why?

Hmm, not so bad.

Oh no, they're very good.

Not a cavity in them.

I've always been very careful

to assimilate plenty of calcium.

I wonder what's in these cupboards over here?

What's wrong with you two?

Is somebody goin' crazy?

Well there's plenty of dishes, Mr. Murray.

Yeah, that's fine.

Nothing.

Whoo whoo!

Whoo whoo!

Oh, behave yourself.

I was playin' choochoo train.

Never mind that.

You never let me have no fun.

Be quiet.

Take this bucket and go outside.

Maybe you'll find a rain barrel out there.

- What do you want water? - Water.

- Go get it. - Okay.

Yeah, you get it.

- Okay. - Go ahead.

I'm not gonna do nothin'.

I know you're not.

You don't have to get tough guy.

Give me a hand with these dishes,

Mr. Murray, please.

I don't wanna go.

I said go outside!

It's too dark.

And I don't wanna go outside and walk in the dark by myself

with nobody to talk to.

Why don't you talk to yourself.

I get too many stupid answers.

Go on outside!

Okay.

Yeah?

I scared you, huh?

Go on!

Wait and if you don't see if I don't

get scared out here myself.

Go on!

Oh, oh, please!

How ya doin', Charlie?

Okay, I'll be up shortly.

Well supper's almost ready.

You need any help?

No, I'll be all right.

All right, make it snappy.

Soup's on, come and get it.

- Yeah, yeah. - Soup, soup!

- Don't rush. - Soup, a soup.

Don't reach!

Don't reach.

If you want something, ask for it.

You have a tongue, haven't you?

I can reach further with my hands.

Never mind!

Say, where's tall, dark and gruesome?

Better call him, Ferdie.

Call him.

Oh, Charlie?

Louder!

Go on and call him!

Call him!

Oh, Charlie?

Oh, Charlie.

Charlie.

Hey, Charlie!

Oh, Char...

Well?

I'm scared.

I went into the kitchen.

I went over by the cellar steps.

I was lookin' down and it's very dark.

And I started to call him,

I said, "Oh, Charlie, oh, Charlie?"

He didn't answer.

Maybe he isn't hungry anymore.

Well, let's eat before the soup gets cold.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Just like mother used to make.

It stinks.

It might be the water used in making the soup.

Well I'll find out.

Taste it, Ferdie.

It might be poison.

Go on, taste it.

It might be poison.

What are you worrying about?

Go on and taste it.

Go on, taste it!

It's the water all right.

From the pump, very peculiar.

You said it.

Well anyway, the beans will be ready in a moment.

Isn't it a shame there isn't a band here?

We could dance between courses.

Hey, wait a minute!

Just as I thought.

So at least we can have some music.

Look at all the records!

Oh, Doctor, would you like to dance?

Oh, I'd love to.

- Oh, good. - I must learn someday.

Whew!

Whew!

Awfully damp in spots.

I feel like a little flower after a heavy rain.

I'm drooping.

Flower?

Say, Smitty never did come back.

That's right.

I think I should look for him.

Oh wait, I'll go with you.

Fernie, get me that lamp.

Doc, have you any more alcohol left?

Yes, in that box.

- In here? - Yes.

What did I do?

Oh!

Doctor, be careful.

Uh oh.

Ferdie, go see what's in there.

Not me, I'm not curious.

Ferdie, go see what's in there!

I'd like to see you make me.

You made me.

- Go on! - Okay!

It reminds me of the secret door

in The Case of the Mummy's Claw.

What kind of a place is this?

Well, it's a barroom.

Barroom?

It's a funny place to put it.

Well this is the way they fooled

the police during prohibition.

Say, you think there's anything in those bottles?

A short beer or something?

I feel awful.

Oh I'm sure if there is, it must be bootleg, yeah.

You remember how that used to wear

the enamel off your teeth?

Yeah, once I drank six bottles of that stuff.

I didn't ever stagger.

Didn't stagger?

I couldn't even move!

But those were great days, remember?

Who, me?

I was too young then, a mere child.

Are you kiddin'?

What's wrong?

What happened?

- Hey Chuck. - What?

Do you see it?

Mr. Smith's carnation.

You girls better stay here.

It'll be safer.

Come on, you're not a girl.

Oh, when I was little boy, I used to play with dolls.

This way for you!

Why don't you let me make up my own mind once in a while?

Come on, come on,

- come on you. - Oh.

Oh, Mr. Smith?

- Mr. Smith! - Wait a minute.

There's his flashlight.

Why, so it is.

Well that's very peculiar.

Mr. Smith?

- Mr. Smith? - Oh, Charlie?

Charlie Smith?

Oh, Charlie?

Oh, Charlie.

- Mr. Smith? - Mr. Smith?

Mr. Smith, dinner's ready!

Charlie Smith?

What could have become of him?

He must be down here.

- Mr. Smith! - Mr. Smith.

That's strange.

Mr. Smith?

- Mr. Smith? - Mr. Smith?

Mr. Smith, dinner's ready.

Charlie Smith?

Mr. Smith.

Mr. Smith?

Ah, ah!

Hey, hey, hey, come here, come here.

- What is it? Just a minute. - Don't grab me.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, what is it?

Somebody blew out the candle.

No, that's just the wind!

Since when does the wind eat garlic?

Oh now, calm down.

Here, take this.

Hm, okay.

What are you shaking about?

Don't let none of us get nervous, that's all.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, we're all right.

Don't get nervous, that's all.

Yeah, everything's all right.

I'm calm, I'm calm.

- I can see that. - Come on.

Just take it easy, take it easy.

Not over there, not over there.

No, no, no, that's here.

Some place else.

Maybe he went upstairs.

Do you think so?

Well, let's look.

All right.

What is it?

This place is kinda spooky, ain't it?

Don't be silly, come on.

What's the matter?

Feels just like the scene I played

in The Case of the Haunted House.

I had a great part in that one though. Five screams!

Oh, come on!

Say, about that scream of yours.

How is it you didn't even peep

when you saw the flower on the floor?

I don't know.

I guess I got really scared.

And when I get really scared, I...

Hey, that's funny.

You mean you can't even.

- Miss Lind, what happened? - What did you see?

We were going up the stairs

and we saw someone looking at us.

It's a fiend with fangs.

Oh, oh!

All right, all right, all right, come here!

Chuck, don't hold me!

- Get your hands off me, get! - All right.

I'm gonna get something straight right now.

- What happened? - Did you see

the puss she made?

- All right, all right. - Come on, come on.

All right, come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on, fellas, come on!

Who's up there?

You, you, you coward!

Come on down.

It was only an owl.

- But with fangs! - Mm hm.

- There she starts again. - Quiet.

What were you girls doing upstairs anyway?

Oh, we went up to look for Mr. Smith

and a place to sleep.

Oh sleep, that's what I could use.

A nice warm bed to hide under.

Well Smith is not in the cellar.

Maybe it's best we look upstairs.

Let's do that, yeah.

After you, girls.

Wait for me.

Come on, Ferdie.

Ferdie, come on!

I can't go another step.

You're going upstairs.

I don't wanna go a step further.

- Come on. - Chuck, now leave me alone.

- Now you listen to me. - Look.

I don't wanna have trouble, you understand?

- I don't wanna go upstairs. - You're going upstairs.

- I'm not gonna go up stairs. - You're going upstairs!

I don't wanna go upstairs.

Now please, Chuck, don't take me upstairs.

You go ahead, I'll stay here. I'll be a lookout.

- A lookout for what? - For myself!

All right, give me the candles.

I'll go upstairs.

Well as long as you leave me something.

Scared to death, just a fraidy cat,

that's all you are.

I'm not scared, Chuck.

How do you do?

Are you the hatcheck girl?

Hey Chuck, downstairs.

- My hat, my hat! - Yeah?

All right, all right, all right, keep quiet.

Be careful, Doc.

Be careful.

Say, not bad!

- No. - All the comforts of home.

There's no bed coverings.

Here are some blankets.

If you wanna be a handyboy, Ferdie,

come on over and help me.

Yes, help us make up this bed.

I feel like a bride on the maid's day off.

What small sheets!

Oh no, that goes at the head.

Oh, a nightcap.

- That's cute. - No, not there!

Give her a hand.

- Okay. - Grab the other end, Ferdie.

And sit, now slip it under the mattress.

Okay.

What are you doing?

What's the matter with you?

- How? - Now, leave it there

and slip it under the mattress!

Oh, dear.

What are you doing?

Up here!

Why don't you make up your mind?

Where do you want it?

On top on the mattress or under the mattress?

One or the other!

I'm getting tired.

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Well looks like we're gonna sleep together.

- Huh, Norma? - Sure.

I'll find a room for Ferdie.

I'll be back and help you fix the beds.

I'll try the room across the hall.

Ferdie, put that lamp on the highboy.

Good night.

Good night.

What'd you say, Chuck?

Highboy!

Hi, Chuck.

No, no, put it up there.

- Oh, that's a highboy? - Yes.

How do you know if that's a boy or girl?

Oh, put it there and keep quiet.

- Okay. - Good night, girls.

Oh, boy, ain't this something?

You like it, huh?

- Mm hm! - What are those?

Oh, jeez!

Will you stop following me!

- Hey, look. - Huh?

Look.

M.M., I'll bet this is the room that Moose Matson slept in.

M.M., that's, what's this thing?

Oh that? You pull that when you want your breakfast.

If I want my breakfast, I pull this thing?

That's all.

Okay, ham and eggs.

Uh oh.

What did I do?

- Uh oh. - Chuck?

What?

Is my feet nailed to the floor?

No!

Then I must be paralyzed.

Shall I look?

- Go ahead. - Hm?

- Uh oh. - Oh, it's just a door.

Open it up and see what's inside.

Who's gonna open up what door to see if what's inside?

What do you think I am?

I think you're scared.

I think I am too.

What?

Of a perfectly ordinary door?

Yeah, well I know what happens in those mystery pictures.

A guy walks over to a perfectly ordinary door.

He opens it up and zowie!

Out falls a body, right on its kisser.

You think there's a body in there?

I ain't sayin' there is and I ain't sayin' there ain't.

All I say is let's get outta here.

All right, wait a minute, wait a minute now.

I'll open the door.

- You go ahead. - Oh.

There you are, empty.

Oh I, I should be ashamed of myself.

I'm gettin' to be a big sissy.

Oh, Charlie.

What happened?

What happened?

Charlie Smith!

Come here, Ferdie.

- Hey, Chuck. - Ferdie.

Come on pull yourself together, Ferdie.

- Hey Chuck. - It's all right.

What happened, what happened?

It's all right.

I was standing over there and a guy, see?

All right, all right, come on, Ferdie.

Oh, Doc?

Doc, help!

Doc, Doc!

- What's happened? - What is it?

It's murder.

What?

It's murder.

Murder?

Ferdie?

Oh, Camille.

Come on, come on.

Snap out of it, snap out of it.

What happened, what happened.

A murder.

Camille, oh!

No, no, he's all right.

- It's in there. - Smith?

Yes.

Well?

He's been strangled.

Is that serious?

The man is dead.

Oh, that's serious.

Quiet!

Who's there?

Who is it?

Who's there?

Who is it?

Open this door!

Who are you?

The police!

We're very glad to see you, officers.

What's going on around here?

Trespassers, huh?

Oh no, we own the place.

Yes, we inherited this place from Moose Matson.

You relatives of his?

We were very close to him at the time of his surmise.

Officers, we can go into this social detail later.

At the moment, there happens to be the body

of a murdered man in this house.

And not only that, he's tied with a lot of string

and had something across his mouth.

He had a gag in his mouth.

If he did, he never had a chance to tell it.

This way, officers.

Come on, I'll show you.

It's upstairs, I saw it myself.

It ain't me.

I'm innocent.

I didn't have nothin' to do with it.

Let's go!

Oh, hello.

Say, could you tell me what happened to my hat?

That's very strange, it was here.

Don't ever leave me alone.

Shh, quiet.

Hey, Chuck, - What?

Downstairs, the hat.

Never mind that.

It's gone.

It's gone?

Oh.

I got it.

Hey, watch.

What do you know?

Why the body was right here on the floor.

He's disappeared.

He was in the cellar just before he disappeared.

I'll show you.

Wait a minute, we know our way around.

Now if you folks take our advice,

you'll get out now right now.

Let's go.

Now we mustn't let this upset us.

The best thing to do is go back to bed.

Are you going back to bed?

Oh yes indeed, as soon as I have my glass of warm milk.

May I bring you some?

- No, thank you. - No thanks.

Oh, it's a fine sleep inducer.

Well, pleasant dreams.

Come on, Camille, the doctor's right.

We better get some sleep.

- Oh. - Good night, boys.

- Chuck, Chuck, Chuck! - What's the matter?

- What's the matter? - Oh, Chuck!

What's the matter?

What did I tell you before about going away

and leaving me by myself?

Oh, I was right here.

No, you wasn't, you was over there.

Oh, behave, come on.

- Chuck. - What?

Do we have to sleep in this room?

Well, you're not afraid, are you?

- No. - Well?

But if you see a pair of pants flying through

the air, don't grab 'em.

Why?

- I'll be in 'em! - All right, come on.

Come on, maybe we'll find another room

- down the hallway. - Okay.

Oh, well!

A private bath.

I'm not gonna take a bath in this spooky joint.

Nobody's gonna catch me with my coat off.

Say, this is fine.

Now we can have separate rooms.

You mean I gotta sleep here all by myself?

Well certainly.

- Hey, Chuck. - What?

I'd be awful silly if I were scared, wouldn't I?

Why naturally.

Boy am I silly!

Well, good night, sleep tight.

Chuck, if you hear me, come in.

Sleep all by myself.

Must be neat.

Chuck, Chuck!

Am I dreaming or am I awake?

Well, you're awake, of course.

Couldn't I be dreaming but you're saying I'm awake?

What's the matter with you?

- Couldn't I? - No.

- No? - What's wrong?

- Then I'm dreaming. - Oh, come on.

My whole room changed into a gambling joint.

- Oh, that's ridiculous now... - Whole room.

- Chuckaluck. - No.

- Slot machines. - Yes, yes, all right.

- Come on, come on, come on. - Let me see this.

Well?

Chuck, there was a roulette table there.

If I'm dreaming it, then I dreamt it.

But if I'm awake, I saw it.

Oh, you're letting your imagination run away with you.

Chuck, I can't imagine things like this.

I'm not that clever.

All right, then there is roulette tables!

All over the place, room is full of roulette tables.

I like roulette tables.

I like to sleep on 'em.

Nice, soft roulette table... No, no, no, no.

That was a dice board.

All right, now look.

I wanna get some sleep.

Here, you go in my room and sleep.

I'll sleep in here.

- Is that all right? - Okay.

All right, now go ahead. Be a nice boy.

Now what's wrong?

I forgot the rest of my clothes.

Sleep tight.

Go to sleep!

Oh, oh, oh!

Chuck, Chuck, Chuck!

Chuck!

- Chuck! - Just a minute.

It happened in your room now, the whole thing.

Huh, what are you talking about?

Everything, dice, Chuckaluck, roulette tables.

All right, all right, all right.

They got a slot machine in there.

You put in a quarter, and you pull like this.

- Yeah. - And you hit a jackpot.

Just wait a minute!

Wait a minute!

Stop working yourself up into one of your frenzies!

What frenzies?

I ain't making frienzies with nobody in here.

- Come on, come on, come on. - Chuck, let's get outta here.

- Come on, come on, come on. - No don't take me back Chuck.

Chuck, don't take me back... Come on, come on.

In there, Chuck, no Chuck, Chuck don't,

Chuck don't, don't, I don't wanna see the room.

Chuck, I'm telling you, the whole room, the whole room.

There was a roulette table...

What?

Now what's wrong?

- What's wrong in here? - It did it again, that's all.

It did what, nothing has happened!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Will you do me a favor and stop this nonsense,

and get in bed?

Now get in bed then.

Go on and stay there.

I know the room changed.

A lot of things around here.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck!

Oh yeah, see that?

The whole.

Did you ever see anything like that?

All right, come on.

I'll get you another room.

I'm gonna get my own room.

- You seem very busy, Doctor. - Huh?

Don't tell me you make your own milk.

Huh?

What are you doing?

Huh?

I suppose if I was to tell you the house was on fire,

you'd say, huh?

Hand me that blue bottle, please.

What's on fire?

Nothing, not a thing.

You're the concentratingest man I ever met.

Well, I'm analyzing the water.

Here we are surrounded by murder and mystery

and all you do is calmly analyze the water!

Are you worried?

Oh, I don't know.

You don't strike me as the nervous type.

Don't I?

I'll bet you have perfect 20/20 vision too.

Thanks.

Well, don't you?

Oh, is it important?

Actually, would you prefer a girl with healthy eyes,

to a girl with pretty eyes who's as blind as a bat?

Look at you.

Without those portholes, you probably can't see a thing.

I noted you had beautiful eyes the first time I saw you,

but I didn't get around to mentioning it then.

Mention it now.

Well, they're soft and limpid, like two pools of water.

Water?

Oh, my glasses, please.

I suppose your silly experiment

couldn't wait a while could it?

Huh?

Oh, huh yourself!

No, in fact, you're the most beautiful girl I ever.

Huh?

Come in.

Come in!

Who is it?

Come in.

Who is it?

Who is it?

Yes?

Locked.

Chuck, Chuck!

Hey, Chuck.

Oh, Chuck.

Hey Chuck.

Chuck.

What are you doing?

- Chuck, listen. - What happened?

Did you knock on my door just now?

- No. - You didn't?

- No. - Did you lock it?

Certainly not.

Well, it's locked.

It's locked?

I'm scared to death.

- It's locked? - Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Come on, come on.

No, no, no, come on, come on.

I'm telling you, Chuck, the door is locked?

Is this another one of your brainstorms?

No, go ahead, you try to open it.

See?

Now I know that door was locked.

Aw, nonsense!

What is this all about?

Get a load of this mess!

What's wrong with you?

What's come over you all of a sudden?

- I tried... - Be quiet.

Don't give me any arguments.

Look at this room, look around here.

- You don't... - Where's that?

Never mind that, a fine time to play.

What is this all about?

You wouldn't do this at home, would you? Certainly not.

And this place is just as much mine as it is yours.

- You don't think... - Don't ever do a thing

like this again.

You oughta be ashamed of yourself.

Now clean it up!

- Get right with it. - Hey, Chuck?

Don't ever

pull a knife on me!

- Norma. - Huh?

Are you asleep?

No.

Neither am I.

Didn't that warm milk make you sleepy?

Didn't have any.

Oh, then maybe we should, huh?

Oh, I don't want any.

You have some.

The doctor's still down there, isn't he?

His body is.

Body?

Yeah, his mind is miles away!

Norma, don't do that.

Don't play games with me, honey.

I don't feel so well, you know.

Oh!

Excuse me.

What was that?

- What happened? - Oh, what is it?

What's wrong? What a minute, now don't get excited.

What are you screaming about?

What happened?

- A ghost. - A ghost?

- A ghost! - A ghost?

With fangs.

What, again?

Hello, Chuck.

Did you come back to apologize to me?

Well if you did, you don't have to.

I forgive you.

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey!

He's in my room, in my bed.

Pulling the covers over his head!

Come on, come on.

Hey!

Wait, wait.

What's the matter?

I'm afraid to have you go up there without me.

Come on, come on, come on!

Hurry up.

There's your ghost.

Just as I thought!

This couldn't by any chance be a joke, could it?

Everything seems to happen to you around here.

Everything except what happened to Smitty.

Camille, I was laying on the bed and,

oh, excuse me.

Well, whoever's doing this certainly isn't fooling.

They're obviously trying to get us out of the house.

Where are those detectives anyway?

If that scream didn't bring them out...

Maybe they're,.

Well, let's find out.

You girls get ready to leave.

You and I will search the house, find the detectives,

and make them take us town.

Come on, Chuck.

Oh, come on, Camille.

Come on!

Doctor, I think we better split up.

Too bad I can't finish this experiment though,

I'm really onto something here.

Chuck, let's go back to the gas station.

Now don't get excited, sit down here.

Now the doctor and I are going to search

the cellar and the grounds.

I want you to sit here and wait for the girls.

All alone?

Yes, sit down.

Now here's a road map.

Find the easiest way out of here.

That's a good idea.

Hey Chuck, suppose the ghost comes back?

Oh, the ghost is only a rumor.

I don't care if he's the landlord. Suppose he comes back.

Now sit down, don't get excited.

- Don't get excited. - If you want me, just holler.

Oh, Chuck and I'll come right in.

Okay.

- Oh, Chuck! - Yeah, what is it?

Come on, come on, what kept you?

Why I came in just like that!

If you can get in here in between that, you get here.

Well sit down now, take it easy.

Read that map.

Don't forget when I call, oh, Chuck, get in here.

All right.

Now I'm all alone.

Oh, Chuck.

Oh, Chuck?

Oh, Chuck?

Oh, Chuck!

Chuck, get in here!

- Oh, Chuck! - I'm here.

- Oh, Chuck! - I'm here.

- Oh, Chuck, oh, Chuck! - I'm here, here, here here.

- Snap out of it. - Oh, Chuck.

- I'm here. - Where have you been?

I called 42 oh, Chucks and you didn't come in.

I came in as soon as you hollered oh, Chuck.

From now on, don't wait for me to say oh, Chuck.

Get in here on the oh.

All right, now you're all...

Are you boys ready to leave?

I was ready to leave when he put

the key in the front door to come in.

Camille, do me a favor.

Will you please sit down and keep Ferdie company.

He's all excited.

Sit down here and help him read this map.

Now, take it easy.

Thanks, Camille for keeping me company.

I do so want not to be alone.

You take this map and see

if you can find a road out of here.

Now, if we take Route 72, we could cut through the forest,

and then we could take a back road and I suppose we.

Oh, Chuck?

Oh, Chuck!

Yeah, yes, yes, yes.

- Oh, Chuck! - Yeah, wait a minute now.

Just a minute, here.

All right, I'm leaving, now don't get excited, please.

It went a zip a zip.

Wait a minute, just a minute.

You mean that candle moved?

Just a minute.

Camille, did you see that candle move?

No!

Where were you looking?

At the map.

Never mind the map.

Keep your eye on that candle.

Oh, come now, that's ridiculous.

That candle can't move.

- No? - Now look, you want me

to find the detectives, don't you?

Huh?

We wanna get out of here.

Now find a road outta here, please, I'm busy...

I'll find a road out of here.

All right, now, don't call me unless you need me, please.

I'll find a road if I have to make one.

Camille, are you sure you didn't see that candle move?

I know that went zip, zip in front of me.

No, huh?

Now I know I am alone.

Now keep your eye on that candle.

Now, if we take Route number 16 right out the front door,

that's the route that's out there,

we could get in somebody's car passing by

and sort of.

Oh, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck.

Chuck, Chuck, Chuck!

- Yes, yes? - Chuck, Chuck!

- No, no. - I said wait a minute,

- wait a minute. - No,.

Wait a minute, what's going on here?

Now wait a minute, just a minute.

Now calm down for a minute.

- Wait a min, just a minute. - No!

Sorry, all right, all right, all right.

- No! - Wait a minute.

Yes, I understand, just a minute.

Hold still a minute.

Just a minute, take it easy.

You mean that candle moved?

Wait a minute, Camille, did you see that candle move?

No!

Where were you looking?

There.

What are you lookin' over there for?

You told me to look at that candle.

Don't believe me, I'm a liar.

Now, now, now, now, now, wait a minute.

What is this all about?

This is all nonsense.

It's very peculiar nonsense.

Oh there's nothing peculiar about it.

Now take it easy, sit down there.

I left the doctor all alone out there.

Now take it easy, don't get excited about this thing.

Everything's all right, you have company here.

You're not alone.

No, not much.

All right, now just calm down.

Look, from now on keep one eye on that candle,

another eye on that one and with the other eye, watch me.

What was that?

Those candles went out.

Do you feel a draft?

No.

If these candles move, you will.

I'll get out of here so fast the suction

will carry you along with me.

I can't even read the map

any, any, anymore.

This is no laughing matter.

Now, I'm scared.

Now keep your hands to yourself.

Don't slap me.

I didn't slap you.

Now if we can...

You didn't slap me?

No.

Now, if we can...

Ferdie.

Don't do that, Ferdie.

I don't like that. You're a nice little boy and I don't like

to see you do those things.

So cut it out.

What did I do?

You know what you did and don't do it again.

You slapped me.

Now.

And you're supposed to be a boy scout.

I didn't slap you, Camille.

Yes you did, Ferdie!

Didn't you slap me in the face?

Did you slap me?

Uh oh!

Camille, oh, Chuck.

Oh, Chuck, oh, Chuck!

I've got you, boy.

I've got you, you old ghost!

I'm gonna lift up your sheet and see who you really are.

- Camille, what happened? - What's wrong?

What?

- Here, here. - Wait a minute,

- what going on here? - That's what I want to know!

What's going on here?

And that's what I wanna know!

Now.

I almost had a ghost and Camille got in the way.

Oh, I better see if Norma's all right.

I wish I knew why someone is so anxious

to keep people away from this tavern.

Me too.

Must be Moose's bankroll.

What bankroll?

Well, Moose is supposed to have buried his bankroll.

Around this tavern?

Well, nobody knows.

The only thing they ever heard Moose say was

that he kept his money in his head.

Hey, Chuck, you mean in that thing?

What thing?

That horse with a hat rack on its head.

No, no, you don't understand.

When I say, Moose kept the money in his head,

that's just a figure of speech.

Oh, a figure of speech!

You know what a figure of speech is?

Oh yeah, everybody knows that.

What is it?

A figure of speech is just like if I said to you

water went under the bridge.

Under what bridge?

How do I know what bridge.

Then how do you know there's any water under it?

There's gotta be water under the bridge

so the boats can go up and down.

Up and down?

Suppose they wanna go across?

I'm a sucker for arguing with this guy.

Why do you start these arguments?

You asked me if I knew what a figure of speech was,

and I said, just like as if I said,

water went under the bridge.

I shoulda said like gone with the wind.

What wind?

Am I gonna have trouble with you now?

What do I know what wind?

Any wind!

I didn't find the detectives

but I think we better get out of here anyway.

Are you ready?

- Yeah, in a moment. - Hm.

I'm sorry if I kept you waiting.

Oh, that's quite all right, that's quite.

Say, you're angry at me.

- No. - Oh, but you are.

That's ridiculous.

You're angry at me because you like me.

Oh, forbid.

But you do like me a bit.

I mean, well at least don't you feel

a little safer when I'm around?

Doctor, whenever I have to

turn to you for protection, I'll...

Darling, are you hurt?

No, dear.

Dear, you called me darling.

Darling, you called me dear.

Did I?

I guess we shouldn't be standing here.

We should be out trying to find the detectives and.

I've been talking to you all this time

and still you haven't explained to me

why you should even say gone with the wind.

When I said gone with the wind it was a figure of speech.

Just like never the twain shall meet.

What twain?

The twain on twack twee.

Ah, what's the use of talking to you?

I'd like to know what started this whole argument!

Why you said there was money up in the moose's head.

Would it make you two any happier

if I proved to you that there's no money up there?

- Go ahead. - Give me a chair.

There you are, go ahead.

I'll prove it to you.

Ooh!

You got a big head.

Now look, I'm gonna put my hand in your mouth.

Don't bite it!

This one's going in, the one I eat with.

I got a way with animals.

Take it easy.

Hope you ain't ticklish.

Hey, Chuck, the moose's tongue is peeling.

Sure, peeling.

There's all, there's all.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

What is this?

I don't know.

Wait a minute.

It's real!

Come on, keep peeling it.

Let go of my pants, would ya?

Atta boy, Ferdie!

Stop pulling my pants.

Come on, send it all down, come on.

- Hey, Chuck. - Come on.

- Let go of my pants. - Get it all out.

This guy's got some tongue in here.

Well get the tongue out.

Hey, Camille?

Huh?

Does mooses have tonsils?

I hope that one's got a big one, a green one.

He's got a pip.

Where is it?

Look at that tonsil!

What a tonsil, what a tonsil.

Come on, keep it peeling.

- Get my hand out! - Come on.

Never mind your hand, I'll buy you one.

- Somebody, help! - It ain't no time

- to think of your hand. - Help!

- Come on, Ferdie. - Let it out.

I'll never join your lodge!

Never mind your arm, we'll buy you a new one.

- Nevermind. - I think I'm gonna faint.

Let go!

Oh, you!

Now.

There, now I hope you two are satisfied

that there's no money up there in the moose's head.

- Sure. - Now go ahead

- and argue with me. - No more arguments.

Ferdie, I love you!

He loves me!

Thousands, millions.

- Millions? - Trillions!

Trillions?

Oh, I'd love to run through that with my bare feet.

I don't get it.

Hey, Ferdie, look, look.

- Look, Ferdie. - What's that?

That's what you got out of the moose's head.

- Oh that. - Yes.

See, I told you there was no money.

- No, no, no, Ferdie. - Money, money!

Now don't get excited.

I know how you feel.

- Look... - Money!

- What do you say? - Money, money.

We've gotta find those detectives.

What have you got there?

$10 bills.

Thousands and thousands of $10 bills.

But where on earth?

Hidden in the moose's head.

Yeah, and you folks have no idea

what we're gonna do with this money.

But I have.

- Oh no, you haven't. - You're gonna hand it over.

- Oh. - All right, stick 'em up!

It ain't yours.

I've got to give you credit.

I've been hunting that dough for weeks.

Oh gee, finders is keepers.

Yeah, and I'm the keeper!

I didn't work for Moose Matson for 15 years just

to let someone else get the gravy.

We don't want the gravy, you can have it.

- Put that down! - Will you stop it.

Look out, I've got him!

- I've got him! - You've got me.

- Get him. - All right, hold him.

I'll, got him.

No, no.

Drag him out.

I'm always left with these kinds of things.

Go ahead, drag 'em out.

Look what you did to the guy.

Throw him out.

Anyplace.

Phew, that was a close one.

Oh wow, did you let him have it!

- Boom, boom. - Boy, we are now

sitting on top of the world.

That's a figure of speech.

Just like reach for the ceiling.

I suppose we oughta thank you people

for finding all this sugar for us.

All right, hand it over.

Come on, fatty!

He means you.

Ooh, fatty!

I lost 43 pounds since I've been in the place.

Oh, run, Ferdie!

Run, Ferdie!

- Go, Ferdie! - Don't move.

Oh, ooh.

Come out of there.

Come out of there or I'll let you have it.

Charlie Smith.

He come back again.

Look after that body.

Now which way did he go?

Here I come, he's takin' off down there.

He's not down here.

Check upstairs again.

Come on!

Oh!

Get him, get him, get him!

Catch it, catch it.

Ow!

Get him, Harry!

Don't shoot me!

Excuse me.

- Throw me the bag. - Huh?

- Throw me the bag. - You want it?

Yes, throw it over.

Beat it, the cops!

Ferdie!

Did I scare 'em?

My hero!

You scared those gangsters away.

And he did it single handed.

- Oh boy, get a load. - Money.

- Come on, put it down. - Money.

Put it in, put it back in the bag.

- Put it down. - Put it down, put it down.

Yes, this is ours, you know?

Yeah, I'm gonna divide it myself.

Come on, divide it up, divide it up.

Okay, I'm gonna divide it.

- There's one for you. - Mm hm.

One for me.

Two for you, one, two for me.

Three for you, one, two, three for me.

Four for you, one, two, three, four for me.

Wait a minute, how are you counting?

- One for me, four for you? - It's honorable.

- What, that's legitimate. - Oh, no.

We don't count that way.

We'll count later on.

Oh boy.

Say you know, with all this money,

we could open a chain of gas stations!

Or you could make more money right here.

- How? - How?

The spring waters in this place

have enormous therapeutic values.

Uh oh, uh oh. Did you hear what the doc said?

The spring water, it's got wonder,

the word he said, it's good.

You could open a great health resort.

- Hm. - With music?

Why not?

The water here will make sick people feel like dancing.

- That's just it. - Do you hear that, Chuck?

- What? - The water will make

the people dance, water will.

Remember what we said at the gas station, Chuck?

If we ever had a place like this, we'll hire Ted Lewis.

- Ted Lewis. - And we'll hire

- the Andrews Sisters. - Yes!

- Great. - How do you like that?

Is everybody happy?

Ferdie, look around.

Our opening night, the place is packed and jammed.

We're doing all right business.

Marvelous, swell.

Now, see that every dollar goes in that cash register.

I don't want to check up tonight and find you short.

Wait a minute, what's my size got to do

with putting money in the register?

Nevermind, you just do as you're told.

- Hello, boys. - Well, Hello Doc.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

Now wait a minute, I thought Chuck and I told you

two to take a week off for a honeymoon.

Oh we're going to, but we couldn't miss the opening night.

Say, what happened to Camille?

Me and her, we had a runaway marriage.

A runaway marriage?

Yeah, yeah.

She bought the license and I run away.

- Come on, dear. - Well, take care of things.

- Okay. - I'll be right back.

What was that?

I didn't know they had a bell on it.

Well put it away.

I'm putting it away.

- Oh, good, check, huh? - Yes, sir.

We're having quite a run on that peudatonic water?

- Yes, sir. - I think so too.

Thank you, thank you.

Oh.

Same employment agency send you that sent me?

Yeah.

Fix your tie.

Fix your coat.

Pull down your vest.

You gotta be neat around here or I'll have to throw you out!

- Throw who out? - I'll throw you out.

- Don't you think I can do it? - No!

I don't think I can either.

Excuse me.

Oh, $23 check.

Good waiter, very good, very good.

$23, $23.

Right, right, right.

Listen to that beautiful melody.

That's it.

It's got that real Brazilian beat.

It's that sweetheart tune that we brought

from way down in South America.

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, Aurora.

- Great business, eh? - Oh, what a night!

Well, let's open the register.

I wanna count up the dough

and see how much we took in so far.

What's the matter?

What a business we're doing tonight.

Marvelous, that's why I wanna check up.

I wanna see how much money we've got.

A lot of nice girls here tonight.

- Oh well... - You oughta go around,

- look around. - No, I don't wanna

look around, I wanna count the money.

Well, maybe we better wait till everybody goes home.

Why, everybody around here is honest.

Then, maybe I better go home.

Count it by yourself.

No, you don't!

Oh, come on.

You stand right there until

I count the money in that cash register.

Okay.

Now who put that there?