All language subtitles for 63 Up part1_track3_eng

'In 1964,

'Granada Television brought together
a group of seven-year-olds.'

When I grow up,
I want to be an astronaut.

'We have followed their lives,
every seven years.'

I don't want to keep still.

Life don't wait for nobody.

'They talked about their dreams...'

If I could,
I'd have two girls and two boys.

'Their ambitions...'

I would quite like to go
into politics.

'And their fears for the future.'

Life is what happens while you're
waiting for something else.

I don't think life is there
to be regretted.

You got to make the most of it
while you've got it.

That's how you become
the person you are.

It's a picture of how any person...
how they change.

Give me a child until he is seven
and I will give you the man.

Is it important to fight?

Yes.

'Tony was brought up
in the East End of London.'

I want to be a jockey
when I grow up.

Yeah, I want to be a jockey
when I grow up!

'At 14, he was already
an apprentice

'at Tommy Gosling's
racing stable at Epsom.'

'At 14, he'd left school.'

This is a photo finish
when I rode at Newbury.

I'm the one with the white cap.

I was beaten a length
and a half for third

and had a photo finish.

Do you regret not making it?

I would have given my right arm
at the time to become a jockey.

But now...

..I wasn't good enough.

My greatest fulfilment in life...

..when I rode at Kempton in the
same race as Lester Piggott.

Proudest day of my life.

What will you do
if you don't make it as a jockey?

I don't know.

If I knew I couldn't be one,
I would get out of the game.

Wouldn't bother.

What do you think you would do then?

Learn on taxis.

'At 21, he was on The Knowledge.

'And by 28, he owned his own cab.'

I'll give you the story,
which happened.

The doorman called me up

and it was Buzz Aldrin,
the spaceman.

And we drove out of the forecourt
of the hotel

and a cab pulled up and taxi driver
said,

"Can you get his autograph?"

So I heard it and say,

"Mr Aldrin, can I have your
autograph, please?"

And the cabbie said,
"No, I don't want his autograph,

"I want your autograph."

And I couldn't believe it and
I said, "You're joking, ain't ya?!"

And to this day,
I thought to myself,

"I'm more famous than
Buzz Aldrin!

"He was the second man
to land on the moon!"

'At 42, Tony had left the East End

'and moved the family
to Woodford in Essex.'

Well, I think we overspent about...

Well, a colossal amount.

Thousands.

'At 49, they had taken out a second
mortgage on the London house

'and put the money into
a holiday home in Spain.'

So, it's seven years
since we did this.

Flown by, Michael.
Just gone.

What's life been like
since we did 56 UP?

Well, when we had our last
interview, if you remember,

I was in Spain and I was looking
for a business to sort of set up.

From here, there's going to be
all commercial units here.

My intentions would be to turn one
of these units into a sports bar.

Did you have financial difficulties?

There was no money out there.

All the businesses started to close.

Aldi had come along and built
a brand-new supermarket there.

So all my aspirations
and dreams went out the window.

People kept coming back
from their dream, also evaporating,

and they come back.

So, my wife and I decided
to pack up and come back

and sell our house and consolidate
all our finances.

I wish I was still there.

And I wish it was a vibrant city
which I could have had an input in.

Because I would have loved to have
maintained my property out there.

It was a dream come true
for a boy in the buildings.

You must understand.

I'm only a cabbie.

Have you got a girlfriend?

Nope.

Would you like to have a girlfriend?

Nope.

Do you understand the four Fs?

Find them, feed them...
And forget them.

For the other F I'll let you
use your own discriminish...

I mean, this one,
I tried to do the three Fs...

..but I couldn't forget her.

And why did you
fall in love with him?

Dunno.

I don't know how you put up with me
for so long.

I don't know how. Sometimes,
I don't know how I stand him.

I'm not proud at all
to say this,

but situations arise that...

..I have had regretful
behaviour at various times.

But...

Through...
You got caught.

Yeah, all right...
And that was it.

I owe Debbie everything
because she stuck by me.

And then...

..at the end of it...

..I still love her so.

And that's the reason why.

So, is this a tough time
for cabbies at the moment?

Uber and all these other companies
trying to take a piece of the cake

they're coming in and they're
getting licenses willy-nilly.

Is there are war going on
between cabbies and Uber?

What they've done to the cab trade
with a 240-year-old history

I cannot stress enough.

So, all the cabbies, 4,000 of us,

we got our placards,

we marched to Downing Street
on a demonstration.

And, er, I for one
will be there again,

beating my drum
for the black taxi trade.

How much have you lost
in yearly salary?

I would certainly say a third,
which is a big kick in the rear.

And it's really hurtful.

And what about Debbie?
Has she been hit by it?

Well, of course!
We've all been hit by it.

That's why I'm back in Essex now.

Come on, Daisy. Come on.

Look at the head on that horse.

Ah, lovely.

Really, it was me.

I decided that I wanted to move
from where we used to live.

And I come up here one day
and this one was up for sale.

And then he came up here...
I saw the horses.

And he saw the horses out here
and he fell in love with it.

You've got to be 40 years old
to live here,

you got a lot of elderly
people here,

but there are ex-old East Enders

and they're all sort of like,
you know, traditional East Enders.

It's all forest round here.

Got a little pub up the road,

if you go up there
you can get pie-eyed

and walk down if you want.

Nature is the winner for me.

I come home at night,
I see foxes running about,

reindeers at one o'clock
in the morning

after I done a night's work
in my cab.

Life couldn't be better,
really, living up here.

How is life going for you two?
In your marriage?

It's solid.
Would you say it's solid?

Yeah.
It's good at the moment. Yeah.

We've overcome a lot of ups
and downs, but who don't?

Do you notice a change
in each other?

Have we? Or what? I don't know.

Not really.
He's never changed, has he?

He seems to me more grown-up,
more mature and everything.

Yeah, well,
I don't know about that, but...

But no, I mean, he is what he is.
And nothing's gonna change him.

There is only one ambition
I have, really.

I want a baby son.

If I see my baby son,
that will be my ambition fulfilled.

No-one knows that. Only you, now.

'Debbie and Tony
have three children.

'Nicky, Jodie and Perry.'

Nicky, as you know,
he was a French polisher,

which is a dying trade in England.

So we funded him, me and Debbie,
on The Knowledge.

I couldn't ask for more.

To be more proud
when he got his badge,

it was... it was a gift from God
for what happened.

Perry's at college at the moment.

Training to be a TA,
teacher's assistant.

Because she wants a job that
fits in with the schools.

High five?

Whoever wins gets
a packet of sweets, agree?

We've got six grandchildren.

The three young kids,
Perry's kids, my youngest daughter.

Quick!

If it goes in, you get a fiver!

Jodie's still trying
to find her way in life.

She's 37 now.

Life's not been too good for her
at this present time.

Debbie and I do everything we can
to get her back on her feet and...

Excuse me.

When you visually see it happening,

you can see the change
in her attitude,

you can see the change
in her appearance,

it's not a nice place to be.

Watching your daughter struggle.

'Jodie has a daughter, Toni.'

Debbie and I brought her up, solely.

All I can say is,
she's turned out beautiful.

We're very proud of Toni,

she's had to overcome a lot
in her life,

but she's doing well.

Do you know all the girls
and all the kids that are going?

She works hard in the pub,

she saves her own money,

she's got her own independence.

An old head on young shoulders,
Michael.

She's very, very efficient.

I'm in two golf societies.

And who are the guys
you play with?

Well, they're mostly publicans
or taxi drivers, you know.

We always end up, you know,
have a small bet.

It's good.
Great shot! Great shot.

A tenner a man, OK?

No, Tone, no. Fiver.
You took our money last week.

Give us all a chance, would you?

That's got 460 on the metre,
that has.

So, how is your health these days?

I've got DVT,
which is deep vein thrombosis,

a condition from my family,
from my brother,

my sister,
we've all been affected by DVT

and I'm on warfarin now
for the rest of my life

because I did have
a pulmonary embolism

which I had a blockage
and it went to my lung.

If it had gone to my brain,
or my heart,

then I wouldn't be having this
interview with you now.

Nice one. That's in.

I'm more health conscientious
than I've ever been, really.

Well, you ain't,
cos you eat a lot of chocolate.

Well, I accept that,
that's fair enough.

That's not health-conscious, is it?
All right, I'll give you that one.

But I don't smoke and I don't drink
and trust me, I exercise.

Most of all, I don't do any...

What do they call it?

Yeah, all right.

That's machinery under there, too.
That's not... That's not mine.

'In 1964, we asked Tony
what he thought

'about the English class system.'

The posh 'uns:
"Oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes."

They're nuts!

Just have to Tash 'em.

If you've got to work for it

and it's them,
you just ask for money and get it.

And they can buy what they want.

54 to 20, Boris.

I'm one of the tail end.

You think East End boy, you know,
he ain't got a no good education.

All of a sudden,
the East End boy's got a car,

motorbike
and goes to Spain every year.

There is no education in this world.

It's just one big rat race

and you've got to kill your man next
to you to get in front of him.

At the end of the day,
it's always them and us.

And for me, it's still them and us.

Obviously if you come from
a bit of a silver spoon,

you're going to get more
attractive jobs and easier life.

And an easier success.

But that don't mean
they don't have to work for it.

I feel that the economy
will bust within five years.

Because people like myself, have
been giving and giving all the time.

We're paying.
And someone's getting it.

At our expense.

What's your feeling about Brexit?

Brexit? Well, I was a leaver.

I wanted to pass in my cab
at the House of Commons

and look out and think to myself,
that's where we make the decisions.

Like, Great Britain.

And I thought to myself, you know,
this is what I wanted.

But then again,
they moved the goalposts.

And even now,
nearly two years down the line,

I'm even getting second thoughts
that we should have remained.

I would never vote Tory again.

And I've been a Tory
voter for all of my life.

And probably
I might even vote for the Greens.

Do you have much to do
with villains?

I wouldn't say I'm a villain myself.

I don't go thieving and I don't do
anybody any harm, fighting-wise.

Does it worry you the possibility
of becoming one of them?

How can I... how can I
become a villain?

If it's not in you, if it's not
born in you, you won't become one.

You had visions of me being
in the nick in the next seven years,

you know, and, um...

you made a great mistake there,
Michael.

Well, thank God, yeah.

It seemed possible, because things
were pretty rough.

I was 21.

Everyone's allowed to be 21.

Four to one, Cooladine...
Four-and-a-half 40s.

If your father gambles.
I'll try my luck, see what he does.

I never had visions of me
being anything else

other than a good citizen.

I mean, I am a cheeky chappie
and I'll accept that

and I'll promise... Sometimes
I push the barrier to the limits.

But in saying that,
you are giving your truthful opinion

at that particular time

and I've always worn my heart
on the sleeve

I have always, I like to think so,
give you a credible,

truthful, honest opinion
of what is going on in my life,

I mean, that's the way that I am.

Tell me something, what do you
want to be a cab-driver for, mate?

All the holidays in Spain
every year?

But, son, it's hard work out there,
mate.

You're not reaching me yet.

No, you're not getting to me.
All right?

Now, be bigger, dominate me.

All right?
Son...

'At 28,
Tony was taking acting lessons.

'Now he supplements his income
with occasional TV jobs.'

Oy!

That's all I got on me.

Mate, if I had a pound for every
time I heard that,

I'd be a rich man.

It's exciting times for me.

Because I got a part in a film
and it's showing a premiere tonight.

I've been struggling
as a film extra in 1976

when I first started on The Sweeney.

Last year was The Child In Time

with Benedict Cumberbatch,

Debbie is over there at the bar.

She's a bit nervous about it.

I mean, hopefully I've come out
with some credibility on the part.

Most of all, I wanted to say to her
if she sees her husband

up there rather than the character,
then I know I haven't done my job.

You fucking tell that Chinaman

he'll be in there
eating egg fried rice in a minute!

What's the matter with you?

It's called 90 Minutes.

But the best thing about it
was the cast and crew

all become one big family
and it was a joy to go and work

at Hackney Marshes, incidentally,

where I used to play football
and referee.

And it was like going home.

Would everybody please sit round
now, get on with their work.

I don't want to see any backs to me.
Tony, do you hear as well?

One of the things at the beginning
of the programme is,

"show me the child
and I will show you the man."

Erm, you look at me at seven.

And you look at me even now at 63.

There's no possible way that you
can't say that's not him now

and that's not him then.

You got it right with me.

I read the Financial Times.

I read The Observer and The Times.

I'm going to Charterhouse.

And after that, to Trinity Hall,
Cambridge.

'Andrew went to Charterhouse
and Cambridge, where he read law.'

I'd like to be a solicitor.
And also fairly successful.

'At 28, Andrew was a solicitor.'

What do you think
about girlfriends at your age?

I've got one,
but I don't think much of her.

They're no longer just bores.

Who won't play this, or something.

And you can begin to talk to them.

I don't think I financially come
from the same background.

Andrew didn't go for a haughty Deb,
he went for a good Yorkshire lass.

'By the time he was 28,
Andrew had married Jane.'

I suppose the most important
thing that's happened,

is that we've had
two children.

One five years ago, Alexander

and a couple of years later,
Timothy.

'By 34, he had become
a partner in his law firm.'

Smile!

'Later, he joined the legal
department

'of a large
British industrial company.

'A few years after, they were
taken over by a German firm.'

So, how are the other members
of the family?

Well, Alexander, who was going
out with Philippa when we last met,

got married about three-and-a-half
years ago.

And they are now both working
and living in London.

Timothy worked for a management
consultancy in the IT area

and then decided to specialise in IT

and has gone to
Birmingham University

and he's reading
computer science there.

'Andrew and Jane live in London,

'but they have a second
home in the country.'

Well, we bought it
just about when we got married.

It was a 200-year-old barn
that we bought in auction.

Completely derelict, nothing in it
at all except for manure.

I remember the garden when you
were up to your eyeballs

in weeds and stuff like that.

Well, we moved in
about 35 years ago

and we've been working on it
ever since, really.

It's a never ending job.

I think the country has helped
with him relaxing

when he's had very intense
periods of working.

Don't you ever have any arguments
or disagreements?

Of course we do.

And how do you
tend to sort them out?

Jane is always right.

If only.

He's quite strong in his decisions.

And I'm not.

So, it really compliments me

that he can help me to make a
decision when I'm umming and ahhing.

Now, you be careful, sweetheart.
Yeah, I will, I'll be careful.

I think I'll hold the ladder
for you.OK, thank you.

The latest thing we did,
we went to Japan a few years ago,

and we saw some very nice
Japanese gardens in Kyoto.

And we decided we would have a go

at doing something like that
here as well.

The most dangerous things I do,
climb up that ladder.

Work is pretty stressful, isn't it?

Yeah, I'm pretty used to it now,
I've been doing it for 40 years,

so, you get pretty used to it.

Erm, but in fact, I'm retiring
at the end of this year.

Which I'm looking forward to.

Come on, Millie, let's go.
Where are we going?

One of the reasons why I wanted
to retire now

is really because
we're relatively young.

To make the most of that time.

We're in a bit of a sweet spot now,

I think, in terms of going
travelling and so on.

Maybe in five, ten years'
time that won't be possible.

And the worst thing is,
you hear about people who retire

and then just drop dead.

Looking back, I would have
liked to have spent a bit more

time with the family.

You know, rather than giving
so much priority to work.

When you're young and trying
to make your career, it all seems

terribly important to you to spend
that extra few hours at the office.

But in the scheme of things,

it probably would have been
better to,

you know, go to the school play,
or the sports day or whatever.

My mother died three years ago

and that was quite sad
to see her deteriorate.

Yeah.
You realise what's in store for you.

You can never be sure of leaving your
children any worldly goods,

but at least you can be sure
that once you give them

a good education that's something
that no-one can take away.

Did you ever resent
going to boarding school?

I did go very young
and we did decide that we would not

send our children to boarding
school at such young an age.

I think it's still an age
when you really want to be the one

who has the most influence
on their lives rather than

them spending their lives
with some third-party

who's going to influence them.

The dream for us is that
our children have

a happy and fulfilling life.
Do you think you have?

Yeah, I think I've been very
fortunate.

But you worked for it.

Yes. As they will have to.

When I go home, I have tea.

Then I practice my piano,
and then I...

One of the things about the series
is the idea that you see the man

in the child. Is that true?

Obviously, at the age of seven,

you're very much a product
of your upbringing up to then.

I can have quite strong feelings,

but Jane has been quite a good
influence on me over the years.

Thank you.
Making me more mellow.

Including in my driving
and that sort of thing.

Do you think there's any truth in
the ideas behind the programme

that certain people have
more options than others

and this is an undesirable?

We do have more options.

And it is undesirable
but it's very difficult to correct.

I think the class system itself
is now based more on fame

and what you've achieved
in financial terms.

Achievement is obviously more
appropriate

than what class you were
born into.

What's it actually been like
being in the programme?

I certainly don't look forward to it
every seven years,

because I don't have a
particularly good memory,

it's quite interesting to me
to see what I was like

when I was younger as well.

I think we still all feel very
nervous doing this,

but I suppose as you get a bit
older, you feel less inhibited.

Maybe going back to what
you were like...

Not quite going back to what
you like when you're seven,

but you've got less to lose,
I guess.

If we did all love Geoffrey
and we all want to marry him,

I think I know the one that
he'd like best. And that's her.

She keeps changing her mind,
though.Yeah.

I don't know which one,
really.

'Sue grew up in the East End
of London.'

I don't think I'd...

..get married too early.

I'd like to have a full life first.

Marriage means a different
thing to me.

I still got my ideals about
marriage,

I dunno what it's all about.

'Sue was 24 when she married Billy.

'And they had two children.'
60.

To get married young,
there must be things that you miss.

You must miss that crucial stage

of being yourself,

because the minute you get married, you're
no longer a single being.

You're a partnership, and that
should be the idea behind it.

'By the time Sue was 34,
she was divorced.'

I've never sat down and thought,

"What was it? Was it this,
was it that?"

I just knew it wasn't working.

I mean, there have been
relationships

when I could have settled, but they
didn't feel quite right.

So I've always come away
and pulled away and just waited

until the right one came along.

If they ever do.

♪ ..said you'd be coming back
this way... ♪

'At 42, when we filmed
Sue in the karaoke bar,

'she brought Glenn along
to watch her sing.'

♪ Baby, baby, baby, oh, baby... ♪

Well, we've been engaged
now for about 14 years!

I'm not beating any records, but it's
quite a long time, innit, yeah?

Where you going?

So, what is the status with you
and Glenn?

We are still in the middle of
the longest engagement known to man.

We've been together now over 20
years, still not married,

never say never...

But no plans.

Goldfish. See?
Oh, yeah, yeah.

We're both fine as it is.

If we do it, it's just gonna be,
"let's do it."

A spur of the moment thing.

We love each other,
we've got a nice life.

He came along at the right
time for me.

I've been on my own with the kids
for quite a few years.

He probably had the worst years,
really.

The teenage years,
but he stuck around, bless him.

He's been so supportive.

There's been some medical stuff
and scary stuff going on,

and he's been there
and he's been my rock.

Sometimes we go and play nicely
with the boys and sometimes we go

and argue with boys.

He's having a new love in his life

which has been very,
very difficult for me...

Who are you on the phone to?

What do you mean?

Motorbikes.
God!

But...

..he does like me
to get involved in this,

and I won't get on the back of it,
not yet.

Maybe when he's had a few more
years of experience under his belt.

Have you and Glenn
thought of having your own child?

Well, Glenn got with me

when I was in my 40s and I didn't
want to do all that again.

I would have loved
to have had a baby,

because he would make
a wonderful parent.

But the timing was off.

So she's your baby?

She's my new baby, yeah. My kids are
my babies, but she's my new baby.

She's our baby.

Mine and Glenn's.

We lost our Jesse
and Jesse was the star.

She got to a good old age
and we lost her.

The grief is unbearable
when you lose a dog.

People with pets will know.

And then a friend of mine
asked me to take her dog.

And they brought her round
to meet us. Well...

It was like, "Well, how could you
not love her? She's gorgeous."

Hang on, Molls.

I do quite a bit of typing,

but a lot of my work is involved
in making bookings

and dealing
with hotels abroad.

'At 21,
Sue worked for a travel agent.

'At 34,
part-time for a building society.'

Everything has changed for me

cos I'm now supporting
myself a lot more.

'At 42,
she went back to work full-time.

'Helping to run the courses

'in the legal faculty of Queen Mary
College, University of London.

'At 49, she was the main
administrator for their

'post-graduate programme.'

Do you like the responsibility?
Yeah, I love the responsibility.

I think I was born
for the responsibility.

You can't do two
modules that are taught

taught at the same time, obviously.

It's physically impossible for us
to timetable every single module...

Nothing has really changed,
I'm still working for Queen Mary,

20 years under my belt.
But I still enjoy it.

Once you get to your 60s,
it all gets a bit,

"Ah, how long have we got now?
How many years?"

Counting down. But no. Still got
the energy, thank goodness.

So what happens when you
get to your 70s, do you think?

Oh, God...

You tell me, Michael, you know.

I've worked all my life, you know.
I can't imagine not working.

I work at home one day a week now,
which is good

because the Central line
was killing me.

Erm, it's such an awful experience.

Thank you very much.
See you at graduation, yeah? Bye.

Do they have a retiring age there?

I think mine is 66.

I say I'm not looking forward to it,
but I don't know, really,

if I am because I can't imagine what
it's like to fill your days.

Where does the life of my
respectable middle-class mother

overlap with a working-class
slapper who leaves her

illegitimate child on a church door
step?! She was not!You don't know.

She was young...

I still do my drama. Do my luvvie
stuff, as Glenn calls it.

I like to sing,
perform and that's my hobby.

Cheers!

Cheers to the in-laws.

Today we're having a very lovely
afternoon tea.

So, it's just a small
gathering to celebrate my birthday.

When I got married,
the primary reason was

because I wanted to have a child.

The two, to me, went together.

How are the two children doing?
Brilliantly.

They've both bought their own flats,

they're both independent people,
good jobs.

Both my kids are single still.

Both haven't met Mr Right.

They seem to be happy
and they are a joy to me.

Well, I'm telling you now,
that little pink cake over there...

I do worry about the future
for younger generations.

You know, what's going to happen,

because the NHS cannot
carry on like this.

It can't cope. It can't cope now.

I think I'm probably
the last generation

that will get a decent NHS service.

I don't like people
that are too posh.

They look down on everybody else.

Do they think they're better?
Yeah.

At the roots of this film,
is the class system.

Do you think it's still alive
and well?

You are what you're born into.

You'll never be upper-class because
you're born into upper-class.

But you can mix in those circles.

I mean, I don't know.
I've never been upper-class,

I'm never likely to be
upper-class in my life.

Working class, always.

I don't see why they should have

the luck when people have
worked all their lives

and haven't got half as much
as what they have.

It just don't seem fair.

People are struggling now, benefits
are not what they used to be.

I mean, I work in London, so I see
homeless people all the time.

I don't remember it being that bad
when I was younger.

I suspect it was there, but I don't
remember it being as bad as that.

My generation, we had wonderful
support from the council.

Which meant that if your parents
were council tenants,

you would get a council house.

Which got me into a house,
which then enabled me to buy it

and get onto the housing ladder
and change my life.

That's not there any more.

Now, council housing
is so difficult to get.

You've practically
got to be homeless.

What would you do if you have lots
of money, but erm...Me?Two pound.

One of the premises of the film is
give me a child until you're seven

and I will show you the man.
Do you think that's true?

I think it probably is to an extent.

You can be born shy,
you can be born as an extrovert...

..you can be someone who
likes to make people laugh,

you can be someone
who is much quieter and deeper

and I think that's in you,
but then life happens...

..and every experience
will change you.

My mum and dad, thank the Lord,
are still with us and fighting fit.

Not fit,
but fighting to be fit, you know?

My mum's currently in hospital.

I mean, I've lost family members,
yeah, and everything is sad

but I can say I've had a huge
tragedy in my life yet, Michael.

You know, we know...

..we know what's coming...

Sorry.

♪ Smile though your heart is aching

♪ Smile... ♪

Do you think that these films
have any value?

They have a value to me.

Because it's a lifelong achievement
to be part of this programme,

you know?

And I'm astounded sometimes
by the people I meet...

..and they all know
about this programme.

They may have not watched all of it,
but they'll have a memory from it.

They pick up on things
I think that affect them.

The things we go through are what
everyone's going through.

Cheers!

When I grow up, I'd like to find out
all about the moon and all that.

'Nick, a farmer's son,
grew up in the Yorkshire Dales.'

And I said I was interested
in physics and chemistry, well,

I'm not going to do that here.

'At 14, he was away at boarding
school and at 21,

'reading physics at Oxford.'

So what career are you
going to pursue?

It depends whether I'll be
good enough to do what

I want to really do.

I would like
if I can to do research.

'By 28, he had moved to America,

'and was doing research
into nuclear fusion

'at the University of Wisconsin.'

The fusion reaction gives off energy
and produces the power

that would be turned into electrical
energy and sent out to the consumer.

How hot is it in there?

In there,
it's at about ten million degrees.

'At 34,
he was an associate professor.

'And at 42, a full professor.'

My ambition as a scientist is to be
more famous for doing science

than for being in this film,

but unfortunately, Michael,
it's not going to happen.

Now, do you want some water?

Do you want constant water here?

I am seriously ill.
I have a cancer in my throat.

I don't know what the prog... I don't know
what's going to happen,

so I'm not really focused
on the long-term future.

I'm focused on fairly short-term
futures at the moment.

A lot of the treatments
that I've been having

are things that are not
good for your blood.

And I'd had a couple of them in
rapid succession I guess, and so...

Yeah,
my blood's a bit thin at the moment.

Ten days ago I went in
and had a blood test,

and the nurse told me that the level
of my haemoglobin was such that

she expected me to be in a
wheelchair.

Do you have a girlfriend?

I don't want to answer that.

I don't answer those
kind of questions.

I thought that one would come up,
because when I was...

..when I was doing the other one,
and somebody said,

"What do you think about girls?"

And I said, "I don't answer
questions like that."

Is that the reason you're asking it?

The best answer would
be just to say that

I don't answer questions like that.

It was what I said when I was seven
and it's still the most sensible...

But what about them?

If you'd been somebody who...

..had fixed ideas of a woman's role
in marriage

that meant dinner on the table
at six every evening...

Ah, didn't I tell you about that?

'By 28, Nick had married Jackie,
a fellow student from Oxford.'

We don't want to miss out on
the chance of having a significant

career and we don't want to miss
out on the chance to have kids

and to be involved with them.

The one moment of pure,
unadulterated joy in my life was

when my son was handed to me
when he was born.

I have never felt so optimistic,
so just purely...

..unworried about anything as that.
It was just the stra...

it was just... phew!

So, that's...

Did that last forever?

Well, no.
I mean, no, it didn't.

'By 42, they were divorced.'

What I concluded and I talk
to other people about this

who have gone through it,

I'm not sure if they feel it
as strongly as I did,

but it was like a death.

If your spouse died, you could look
back and think,

"Well, it was wonderful
while it lasted."

But in a divorce,
you can't look back and say...

..these are all happy memories.

You can talk to me by myself
outside,

but I'll just meet
you by the garage, OK?

All right. Bye.

'Nick's son, Adam,
was ten when his parents divorced.'

When he was first told,
he was terribly, terribly upset.

And then he just pulled
himself together

and didn't want to talk about it
any more.

Take it easy, Adam, the main thing
is not to crash.Really?

You don't want me to crash
right now?

How does he deal with it now?

He doesn't talk to me about it very
much at all.

He's a private person.

He's getting more mature

and he has to be very patient
with me, really.

Can you imagine having
me for a dad?

Do you think it would be
a low-pressure existence?

Hey, Graham!

Chris is my new wife.

I don't mean to be superficial,

but I think she's the most
beautiful woman I've ever seen.

And how's married life?

Well, me being very ill

has certainly made...
been a bit of a damper on things,

but Chris is being actually
a complete angel about it.

'Over the years,
Nick's research hit trouble.

'And by 42,
he was forced to abandon it.'

When I was 13,
I got hold of a book...

..which said that we were really
in trouble because of pollution.

And because of this, I went
into this nuclear fusion thing.

So, I made some choices to start
working in this field

that handicapped me later.

..cos I still can't make it work.

There were scientists in essentially
the same organisation I was in

saying you cannot
build these things.

So, I had to pay attention.

I had to try
and do something different.

So, the area that I'm
looking at is this times this.

'I don't know why I have a
compulsion to teach, really.

'It was just always there in me.

'I just wanted to do it,
I thought I'd be good at it.'

So, I'm hoping that will remember
me being very stupid and going,

"Ow, there's arrows."

Are you still teaching?

'Yes. And my students
are wonderful.'

..Yes! That's really impressive...

'I'm hanging in there as long
as I can with them.'

It's great to be around them.
Unless they've got a cold.

And they are insisting
on coughing on me.

I try to get them
not to cough on me,

but it's a bit hard to...

..hard to deflect them.

What attracts you about America?

It's an exciting place to be.

There's a lot going on,
it's much easier to go out

and get things done...
than in England.

When you came here,
was it a surprise to you?

America was quite different than
I would have expected.

What do you make of Trump?

Oh, gosh.

I don't know how much of what
he says is for effect

and how much he believes.

And that's the huge question
in my mind.

Theresa May was at Oxford
at the same time as me.

You don't get to do that
going to Bradford Poly.

OK, yes, so, this was my staircase
on my, in my first...

'You're still seeing that
people from the right public schools

'continue to run the country.'

Those people are not necessarily
the ones

who are most fit to run the country.

They have a superficial glibness.

They can present
themselves well on a podium,

but it's alarming that they
are the only ones who have

a clear route
to running the country.

They'd like to come out
for a holiday in the country

when we like,
when I like to holiday in the town.

Do you want to take up farming?

No. I'm not interested in it.

My youngest brother, the deaf one,
if he can't do anything else,

he can probably run the farm.

But as a last resort...

It's a fixed reference point
in a sense, that sort of earthy,

life and death cycle that you get
living on a farm.

What did you learn here, do you
think, that you carried with you?

I sort of feel that you could look
deep somewhere inside me.

I feel like there's
some of this in there somewhere.

I think of it as being magnificent
but rather grim, really.

And sometimes, it's rather tragic.

But it makes other places you go
seem rather trivial as well.

I come up most weekends.

I think Chris
gets up usually in midweek.

We don't get over to England very
often, so you can count on one hand

how many times you're going to see
your family before somebody dies.

And that's getting more and more
pressing every time we come.

Have I seen you
since you lost your dad? No.

I loved my dad a lot, but he was an
old man and he was in his mid-80s.

I mean, the last time I saw him
there wasn't much left of him.

He was a tiny little frail
thing who didn't have much to say.

I don't...

OK.

I don't know... I mean, you know me,
Michael,

I'm sure I haven't dealt
with it fully.Yeah.

But, um...

..yeah.

But it's full of emotion,
all of this.

It's all the stuff that we repress
as hard as we can, isn't it?

But, um... yeah, it really is.

If I can change the world,
I'd change it into a diamond.

I'm still the same little kid,
really. Probably all of us are.

I think I can
relate to that little guy.

He was sort of all eager
and earnest.

Trying to answer the questions.

You know, so, yes, I think you
can tell I'm still the same kid.

I think this film
is extremely important.

It's important to me,

but it seems to be
important to other people as well.

That doesn't make it an easy thing.

It's an incredibly hard thing
to be in.

And I can't even begin to describe
how emotionally draining

and wrenching it is just to make
the film and to do the interviews.

And that's even when I'm pretending
that nobody else is watching it.

It isn't a picture, really,
of the essence of Nick...

..it's a picture of every man.

It's how a person, any person,
how they change.

It's made me think about
all sorts of things more intensely

than I probably would have
otherwise.

There are lots of issues
that it raises that

I've over stewed over
over the years.

It certainly highlights
the difference

between living in America
and England.

Relationships with spouses...

It's given more intensity
and focus by being discussed.

What has been the saddest thing?

Right now,
I'm struggling with being ill

and I'm very sad for the people
who are being affected by that.

Life doesn't turn out the way
I expect.

Are you frightened about it?

Not for myself. But for them, a bit.

Yeah, I'm frightened for them.

'And what about the other children?
Where are they now?

'What are they doing?'

I would like to get married
when I grow up.

I don't think you ought
to go to university

if you want to be an astronaut.

I'm going to work in
Woolworth's.

My heart's desire
is to see my daddy.