Original subtitles

Episode 30, you were attacked by an,

"Angry ghost who remained in the asylum

decades after it was closed."

You showed welts on your shoulder.

Lindsay was attacked in episode 24?

You're right.

A hoax.

I wish this stuff wasn't true.

You'd be out of a job.

Are you concerned that some day,

you might receive more than bruises?

He's hoping for an anal probe.

Nikki Nobaugh, star of five pornographic films.

Lindsay Cookson, an orphan whose childhood trauma

caused your ESP.

What childhood trauma, exactly?

She doesn't remember, Richard.

That's why it's called trauma.

Aiden Maxim, won your PhD by blackmailing a professor.

Dr. Aiden Maxim.

He was having it off with students in the freshman dorm.

Educated women of age.

Who said they were women?

Zoe Chan, Marine.

Dishonorably discharged for striking a superior.

Imagine what I'd do to an inferior.

Richard Morgan is our guest, Zoe.

Uh, anything to say to me, Dick?

Scott, you're a skilled technician

whose gifts should be utilized for better objectives.

Who exactly invited this guy?

We're here.

Game faces.

Oh yeah, by all means,

you uh, you guys, step into character.

Hey, Tyler!

You know, it's one thing to claim

you've dredged up some 18th century militiaman

in a Massachusetts B and B,

and it's another to take money from a grieving family

to contact a deceased loved one.

Lindsay, what's the case profile?

A lovesick ghost from the California mining days.

You have nothing to worry about.

Ladies.

It's not lovesick.

Uh, I quit.

It's not a ghost either.

At the cabins.

Not exactly.

It's worse.

So you talk to people in the afterlife,

but you don't believe, right?

You're an actress.

Usually when we come to shitholes like this,

it's uh, an old homeless man with a gray beard

who dishes this kind of warning crap.

Yeah, I'm older than I look.

I bet you are.

Won't be able to act your way out of this one.

Uh, those will kill you.

No, they won't.

Good girl.

Where y'all from?

California.

This is California.

No, it's not.

Yes it is, Aiden.

Right, Scott?

Whew.

Sometimes, when Daddy's gone away

for a long time, I'm here by myself.

But families come to stay here at the cabins.

With children.

It's forbidden to talk to the children,

or to play with them.

I see them, but they can't see me.

But they have toys, the kind I want.

Sometimes, I steal them.

Sometimes.

Have you seen the entity?

Pushes my workers.

Scares grown men.

We'll do what we can.

Have you seen the show?

Huh?

Oh.

Um, my father recommended you.

He a client?

A fan, apparently.

Our method is standard.

But complicated.

Scott?

We use sensitive equipment to confirm you have a problem.

And if we find the presence of a spirit,

we communicate and encourage it to move on.

Sometimes, spirits like to talk to a specific person,

like a family member or a loved one.

This one's been around for 100 years.

It probably won't ask for you.

My name's Nikki.

My job is to...

What do you do?

Lindsay's the show's empath.

I can't be here while you do this.

Mr. Reynolds, Zoe Chan, security.

I make sure no one gets hurt, and I...

I don't give a fuck what you do.

You can burn it to the ground if you want.

Burn it to the ground.

I missed you.

If only brains were attractive.

Masturbation is the devil's typewriter.

I'm gonna write a novel!

Simmons Family, 1998.

Hmm.

Oh.

Cabin 5.

Oh, bollocks!

From a scientific point of view,

this actually could be great.

But from an I'm sleeping alone in a cursed cabin

point of view, this totally sucks!

Redneck plumbing.

You're Tyler.

Everyone knows that.

I know something else about you.

That's very true.

You don't still care about him, do you?

Residual investment.

We give them so much, and what are we left with?

Friends.

You're meant for something bigger.

Well, he's not that big.

I'm Laura.

That's a 5D, eh?

A year ago, they took money from my aunt,

saying that they would contact my dead grandfather.

Ah, here we go.

Costumes to fake a period haunting, yep.

Oh, what's this?

Green screen.

To superimpose ghosts using cameras and software.

Proof they're scams.

Oh, h-hello.

Uh, w-where are your parents?

Um, you want me to help you get home?

Happy?

Sure.

Love me?

Uh...

Yeah.

Leave here.

All of you.

- Why? - Because I told you to.

But my crew, Lindsay...

Oh, that girl never learns.

What?

Go now!

I'll cut it off!

I'm sorry, Tyler.

Sometimes I make mistakes.

But I am not gonna take shit from no rake.

Is that an old-fashioned word?

She's hot.

All right.

- Got him? - Yeah.

Hey.

You okay?

Everyone's safe and sound.

Damn, I'm good.

Go now!

I'll cut it off!

Lindsay.

I missed you.

Come home.

You started without me.

A true portrait of a man may be observed

in his ability to work with a hangover.

We've no data on this place.

Nothing.

Why'd we take this gig?

Oh, yeah.

$20,000.

This nut thinks he has a ghost.

If we don't match his delusion, he'll demand a refund.

Make a reasonable myth.

He's gonna prove us wrong?

Hey.

A little help?

It's an old mining area.

Which one of you ladies wants to be a pioneer woman?

You get to churn butter.

Then here, render a hideous wraith.

As opposed to a nice wraith?

- Nikki? - Hmm?

It's December.

It's 22 degrees out here.

UV report showed it was a moderate 4.5

to a moderately high 6.5.

Have you heard of hypothermia?

A potentially fatal condition when body temperature

falls below 95 degrees Fahrenheit or 35 degrees celsius?

Guess I got told.

Aiden?

What's a rake?

What, your MILF call you that?

A heartless seducer.

A man who wastes his fortune on wine, women and song.

Tyler doesn't waste his fortune on song.

Then he must be a gardening tool for gathering leaves.

You're a tool, Tyler.

It's official.

What's that?

I thought I saw her today.

Charity.

We should find her.

It's 10 more grand.

- Oh. - Tyler?

You would have reunited a lost loved one with her family.

You'd be a hero.

I'm no hero, but I belong to a squad of heroes.

I didn't believe that.

Give it to me one more time.

I'm no hero.

But I belong to a squad of heroes.

Better.

Yeah, hi.

Um, I'm calling about Charity.

You have information?

What was she wearing?

You have the poster?

She was wearing the same clothes?

You seen her, or you didn't?

I'm sure you get a million dead-end calls a day, but...

Call when you know it's her.

See, Lindsay?

That's why having parents isn't always

what it's cracked up to be.

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

It's gotta be done.

You pussy.

It closed by itself, the door!

Yeah, whatever.

I need scared.

Now, show me scared.

Yeah.

- Give it to me, yeah. - Scare the crap out of us.

Okay.

Yeah, good, good, good, good.

All right.

That looks good, she looks good.

- Yeah, everything looks good. - It's really good, thank you.

Okay, Lindsay?

Yeah, yeah?

I'll get a shot of you.

- All right? - Yeah.

Scott, got it?

Yo.

Need help?

Uh, hello?

Hey, Scott.

All right gang, that's a wrap.

Let the cameras run in real time.

We'll add effects tomorrow.

Are you looking for anything in particular?

Any one in particular?

There.

You burned the vidicon tube.

Dude, are you from the 70s?

Leave the tech moves to me.

Tyler, you're pretty desperate to find whacking material

of your latest lady.

Cool sound.

I'm going to town.

Need anything?

Yeah, why don't you bring me back a 40 year old cougar

with dark hazelnut hair?

I'm lookin' for Laura.

You're that celebrity come to town to take local women?

In Mexico, you get shot for that.

What about you?

What time do you get off?

I do like the woods, the forest.

There's animals there.

I can talk to them, and pet them.

And turn them into toys.

During winter, when no one stays here,

or in spring, when love couples come, but without children,

the cold animals are the only new toys I can make.

Nikki no home.

Where is she?

Maybe she's hiking.

Goddamn it, Scott,

keeps your hands off my stuff!

You're dead!

Lindsay?

Nikki?

It's me.

Don't worry.

Nikki, where are you?

Nikki?

Nikki, I can't hear you.

Nikki!

Boo!

Ha, that's what you get.

Oh.

Now, undo what you did.

Uh, Nikki called.

Oh, we need to have a company meeting.

About what?

Our shares.

Nikki's share.

Lazy eye candy should not be rewarded disproportionately.

She gets more mail than both of you together.

From 15 year old boys.

A demographic without money.

Besides, for eye candy, we have Lindsay and Zoe.

Maybe just Lindsay.

I'll kill you.

Although Tyler, Scott and Aiden are right.

And Nikki is...

- Irresponsible? - Absent?

I'll talk to her.

Uh, here.

You like little kids?

You're gross.

We're good?

Ah!

Victory.

There's a lot our host didn't tell us.

I hacked a dormant archive.

Reynolds had washed everything.

From the internet?

Had to cost a half million dollars.

This will definitely lower his property value.

Is this place even worth a world wide web enema?

We match our show to these details.

The eccentric fart hid the script, and you found it.

My genius.

It's not money.

He's ashamed.

He cleaned the past and he wants us to clean the present.

He believes something's here.

Some of these articles are recent.

Yeah, they're unsolved crimes.

What if the killer's still here?

Maybe Jedidiah's the killer.

He'd have to be pretty stupid

to put a camera crew up here.

Yeah, but a serial killer's great publicity.

He could be hoping that we uncover the truth

and put it on television.

He'd be busted.

He'd be on television.

Of course, we could be completely wrong.

We could be being harassed by an evil entity

who's trying to get us to pack our bags and run.

The same entity that hurt your pinky?

Seriously?

You're sick.

The pool's empty.

Impossible.

Shit!

Everyone else okay?

Fuck...

And yet, you haven't radioed your colleagues?

Something made the department give up on it.

I didn't.

Forget the police.

No offense, but I'm staying until we grease this thing.

We're qualified.

Wrong.

I'm qualified, and I'm leaving.

We're staying.

All of us.

Aiden?

We never had to do it for real before.

Aiden?

I won't let it get to you before it gets to me first.

Comforting.

Are you doing okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Good news.

It didn't hurt you.

It's better news that it's what you've been looking for,

for a long time.

It wants me outside.

Fuck this, I'm going back in.

A scary, cavernous portal

from which I shall never emerge again.

Jeez, Aiden!

It's gone!

Zoe, Zoe, Zoe, it's gone, it's gone!

Oh...

Uh, what is that?

Like, a clue?

Lindsay?

I'm, it's Nikki.

Lindsay, please find me!

Need help...

The present:

The lake, the woods, the pool, the cabins.

The past:

The lake, the woods, and this structure.

A hotel?

Mmm, even better.

You are standing on the site

of the most notorious brothel of the California mining days.

The foundation forms a circumference

around Cabin 5.

That's why yours truly is at the worst of it.

Let's check it out.

Uh, how did she know?

Lindsay?

Lindsay?

Untanas.

Quertas.

Chietal.

Goyana.

Huertal.

Semveta.

- Ardal. - Okay.

Okay, here.

What's wrong with her?

She does this sometimes.

And when the hell were you going to inform us?

Huertal.

Quertas, Untanas, Chietal, Goyana.

It's okay, you're safe.

- Quertas... - It's okay, babe.

Stop!

What language was that?

Sumerian.

Lindsay!

Linds?

Lindsay!

What is that?

A vertical shaft access.

The Colfax Mine, it's under us.

Lindsay?

What is that?

It's an old mine.

Okay.

Okay.

That did not just happen.

Don't.

That interviewer, Morgan, was right.

We've done some 40 shows, and they're BS.

Look, I believe in beings from the other side,

but Lindsay suddenly finds this mine?

She could have found it before and then pretended today.

That thing killed Nikki.

So Lindsay's probably not lying, or insane.

There's another possibility.

Lindsay's been here before, and has come back, painfully.

That trauma when she was a kid.

I hope we find something.

As long as I live through it.

You know, little kids watch our show,

and they're afraid to go to the bathroom alone.

Maybe it's our turn.

Yea, though I walk through the forest

of the shadow of death, I fear no evil

for I'm the meanest bitch in the woods.

Tyler, talk us through this?

I can't.

Hey guys, I got an idea.

If we split up, we can cover more ground.

I don't get it.

Oh my God...

Who's staying with Scott?

I'll stay.

Okay.

Break some legs!

Which way?

Why are you asking me?

Lindsay, if you had to pick a direction?

Lindsay, you know, gold doesn't form on earth.

It had to come from a star.

A million years ago, a meteor hit right here,

scattering tons of gold.

And 160 years ago, 1,000 people came to dig it up.

That's kinda cool, huh, hmm?

Oh my God, what is that smell?

Kristen Sevenfold.

Missing a year.

Aiden?

EMF reads zero.

You don't need to be a ghost to do this.

Just a psycho innkeeper trying for Serial Killer Monthly.

They're well-preserved.

The cave's temperature is close to 50 degrees.

It slows decomposition.

This one, 100 years old.

It's, it's a family thing?

Passed down for generations, like father, like son,

like great-great granddaddy?

Zoe, get beside me with your flashlight,

and your baton thing.

There is probably a dozen bodies that way too.

- Really? - Shut up.

I'm just gonna kidnap him for a minute.

Whew.

Mm-mmm, dude, you know that's a bad idea.

You think she'd be out here

if there was anything dangerous?

Yeah, that's right, just leave the crippled guy

alone in a haunted forest.

"I miss you.

"I'm still sore.

"I like you, and not because you're a media personality

"who combines chiseled good-looks

"with a pathetic case of narcissism."

Oh man, I just crack myself up.

Great-great granddaddy was here.

I hate being right.

This time.

I really hate being right.

What's funny?

Aiden, this is the best moment of the show,

and Tyler isn't here.

Let me do it.

Please?

"You are my soulmate, Laura.

"I confess in my fruitless search,

"I've often been quite randy."

Oh man, I need to get a life.

Three...

Zoe Chan of Ghost Gang.

We're in the depths of an abandoned gold mine

running beneath historic Colfax

where we made an incredible discovery.

There's nothing supernatural about what we're about

to share with you, but we unearthed clues

that may solve dozens of cold murder cases.

The grounds around me are strewn with skeletal remains

of women local authorities advise

have been missing for over many decades.

Riding a wave of clairvoyance,

our Lindsay Cookson led us to this massive grave.

Aiden, let's get a shot of Lindsay.

Lindsay felt an over...

What is it, is it a spider?

Goddamn it!

Get it off, get it off of me!

Where's Tyler?

What's it gonna take to scare you people off?

You weren't meant to remain here.

None of you.

Oh, and now you're all alone.

I know what it's like to feel alone.

Lonely.

Tortured by one bad choice.

You were only three years old.

It's not your fault that walked in

when your daddy was cleaning a loaded rifle.

Oh, you prayed for a long time.

For a miracle.

For love.

Women pity you, so you watch them through that machine

without their knowing, but you will never get to touch.

Well, you're not three years old anymore.

This time, you are responsible.

You chose to be here.

No, Tyler!

Help!

Surprised, boy?

Well hell, all women are two different women, Scooter,

and it's a man's job to explore the mystery of both of them.

You know what that means, hmm?

What it means for a woman to be two different people?

I-if a guy has a girlfriend, he doesn't need a threesome?

Well said!

Please, just...

Shh.

Final lesson.

The difference between men and women

is that men fear that women will laugh at them,

and women fear that men will kill them.

Guess we're about to shoot that wise-saying to shit,

eh, Scooter?

- Just let me go! - Oh, stop screaming

like a three year old.

- Just let me go! - "Oh, Tyler!"

Help me, Tyler!

I'm sorry, please no!

Sorry?

You're sorry?

Oh hell, Charity.

I just got cold.

Definitely colder.

No, it's a constant...

Shit.

Where, Aiden?

It's here.

Somewhere.

Scott and Tyler.

Tyler?

Okay, where is Scott?

He couldn't have gotten far.

No, he couldn't.

Did you see anything?

No.

Scott?

- Scott? - Scott?

Scott!

Scott!

Scott!

Scott?

Scott?

Guys.

Tyler?

Richard Morgan?

Tell me a bear got him.

I got his camera.

Oh, what's this?

Green screen.

To superimpose ghosts using cameras and software.

Proof they're scams.

Guess Richard's a believer now.

That's not what killed Nikki.

No, no, no, that-that does make sense.

Charity.

She's a little girl.

She's dying at the hands of some...

Perv?

Perv.

Remember last year, when Lindsay asked Scott

to help find her parents?

He took her picture and age regressed it

with that missing children database program.

Aiden, don't.

Aging Charity the other way works too.

Lindsay?

I think you were born here.

Father says I have a sister.

She's coming home now.

I would like to have a sister.

But I don't want to share my Daddy.

Save some for us.

You, don't talk to me.

Everyone, we gotta figure this out.

You, do know what's happening here?

Charity and whatever are kicking the hell out of us.

She's helping her.

Too many pronouns, Tyler.

Who's helping who?

Laura.

She's helping Charity.

She pulled me aside and Scott disappeared.

Do you love her?

A hick fan?

Enough to let our friend die?

Was she better than us?

Is she better than me, Tyler?

Aww.

You remember me.

You and me?

Don't, Lindsay.

I've seen you obsessed.

Was that my vanity?

You know something about my vanity.

I like you, Lindsay.

I like you too, Tyler.

Lindsay!

What's wrong with you?

I know where to find that little bitch.

I'll cover outside.

Aiden, Aiden...

Lindsay?

Hey!

Her heart is broken, and she gives birth only to evil.

Back off, right now.

Zoe, are you okay?

Zoe!

Zoe!

Hey!

Come on, I thought you chinks liked this.

What century are you from?

No matter, they all suck.

I do this because you're next.

He will plant it in you.

No one's planting shit in me.

You're barren.

You must leave.

Quickly.

No!

No!

But Zoe?

Lindsay?

Quick, go now, Aiden.

Before you can't anymore.

Go.

Calm the hell down.

Aiden, right?

Are you gonna kill me?

No.

Why would I do that?

Sorry about your finger.

Thank you.

Hello, mother.

I've looked better.

What do you remember?

College.

The show.

Tyler.

He'd get a woman with child,

but it'd be stillborn.

Sad, but common back then.

A funeral with a tiny coffin.

Then seven years after that dead child is buried,

it digs its way out.

An abomination.

The women?

Every winter he'd sow a child,

and I'd put the mother down.

Poor things.

Nikki was pregnant?

All of them.

Your Zoe was next.

He got me with child.

Then I learned what he was and what you would be.

I tried feticide.

Sorry about your scar, but I failed.

So I took my own life.

He didn't see that comin'.

He didn't think with me dead, you could be born.

Nor did I.

Twins, goddamn it.

Charity is my sister.

Daddy's little helper.

But your kind become even more powerful in death,

much to my chagrin.

That's why you didn't kill me.

You've lived as different women.

Doing good, mostly.

Mostly?

He wants me back.

He needs you to stop me.

'Cause with you gone...

In seven years,

you'll have a new little brother or sister.

And another one the year after that.

One big evil motherfuckin' family.

Can we beat him?

Get him mad.

For men, even him, it's when they're weakest.

What if I die?

Then you'll be a ghost like that little bitch.

I'm one of them.

It's in you, it's who you are.

But you fight it, and I am so proud of you.

You took Tyler that night.

I had enough of him breaking your heart.

You kinda cockblocked me.

Oh...

This town was born of gold.

Then farming, and then fish hatcheries.

I enjoyed the irony.

Fishers for men, and all that.

I searched for you, Lindsay.

A century and a half, missing you.

Then, technology.

Your pretty face on a tiny screen.

And you came home.

Now...

I didn't hurt your friend.

That was Laura's doing.

Like Nikki consented when you put a demon in her.

You were begot the same.

You didn't turn out so bad, huh?

How do I know?

Excuse me.

Your scar.

The dead women, your mother's legacy.

A prostitute.

Here, in this room.

I wouldn't take advantage of a moral woman.

She's trying to extinguish your life with hers.

In 1,000 years, no human female has tried to do that.

It's a selfish act.

Yeah.

You were a paying customer.

I will have children.

I owe him.

Who?

You have Charity.

Oh, your mother's insane.

She's insane.

But about that little one?

She's right.

Terrifying little demon.

You know what's terrifying?

Hmm?

Laura's crazy, but you think you're not.

I won't kill her.

No?

Can't blame a god for asking though.

You know, when you and I have a baby,

as much as you think you might hate me right now,

you will love him that much more.

Trust me.

Oh, Lindsay?

Don't go anywhere.

It's going to happen.

I'm too powerful.

But not very smart.

No, my child!

No!

No!

Oh my child, please, no, no, no!

No, no, no!

Lindsay, no!

Oh, no!

No!

My ears were burnin'.

Our daughter's dead.

Yes, she is.

Charity?

A little assistance, please.

All these kids.

What are you gonna do about 'em, huh?

You can't kill me.

No?

But we can.

Charity!

Charity!

Before, when we were talking, you knew he was watching?

Oh, my girl...

Shh, little one, shh...

Lindsay, this is Charity.

Your big sister.

Oh, my girls...

Those things will kill ya.

No, they won't.

All right.

So, you think Charity's content?

Hell, daughter, we're all Charity.

You tell me.