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All language subtitles for Rick and Morty S09E02 Ricks Days Seven Nights 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-Kitsune

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:39,340 Kiss me. The men all want to know. 2 00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:43,900 I take her up to Blueberry Hill. 3 00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:50,620 I tell them life's a bowl of cherries and my 57 cookies. 4 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:24,380 There he is. Do I get a handsome man in here if I wait around long enough? 5 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,400 Had to patch a tire out on county line. 6 00:01:26,660 --> 00:01:27,660 Too good for a tow? 7 00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:28,699 Too impatient. 8 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:29,920 You city folk. 9 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:31,240 Always in a hurry. 10 00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:34,060 By God, look who it is! He's back! 11 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:36,220 Welcome back, brother! 12 00:01:36,700 --> 00:01:40,640 Don't know why I ever leave. A plate to bowl, a plate to fish, and a beer to 13 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:41,640 hold to it! 14 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:44,980 Best friend! 15 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,400 We love you, Ted! 16 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:47,560 Ted! 17 00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:22,090 still selling PVC? 18 00:02:22,590 --> 00:02:25,410 How's the house business down there? Good enough to get me back up here. 19 00:02:25,690 --> 00:02:26,690 Think you can put in a word? 20 00:02:26,830 --> 00:02:28,090 Son, you don't want to sell pipe. 21 00:02:28,350 --> 00:02:29,790 He just wants to lay some. 22 00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:33,130 Good to have you back, brother. 23 00:02:34,330 --> 00:02:35,430 It's a little fixer. 24 00:02:38,090 --> 00:02:39,750 Marjorie's keeping the place open late now? 25 00:02:40,030 --> 00:02:42,070 Yeah, her mother passed a few months back. 26 00:02:42,290 --> 00:02:43,630 Don't think she wants to go home. 27 00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:45,590 Everybody's running from something. 28 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:54,860 How's Louisa? She still kick you out of bed when you drink? Yep, might as well 29 00:02:54,860 --> 00:02:55,860 keep drinking. 30 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,960 Open the register and give me your wallet. 31 00:03:02,340 --> 00:03:03,340 No, no, no. 32 00:03:06,980 --> 00:03:07,980 Hello? 33 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:13,879 There's a robbery. 34 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:15,660 I think this guy's having a heart attack. 35 00:03:16,220 --> 00:03:17,600 Ted, where are you going? 36 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,200 Hey, the cop... 37 00:03:43,660 --> 00:03:46,360 Looks like you've learned some things about your body. 38 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,920 I'll make this simple, Ted. You're not a PVC salesman from two states south. 39 00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:54,160 You're the smartest man who's ever lived and you were born 400 light years away. 40 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,100 You're on Beloit 6E. 41 00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:59,160 It's a primitive planet with good country music and a shit ton of snow. 42 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:00,880 Real early 90s Earth vibes. 43 00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:05,020 They're 100 years from first contact, so they don't know who I am. Who you are. 44 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,200 Which is the whole point. 45 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:10,140 You think it's fun to be a god, Ted? You think God's nipples get hard when he 46 00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:11,119 murders a fish? 47 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:14,880 That's why every summer I take two weeks off and come here. I wipe my brain and 48 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,220 pull all of my survival tech. 49 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:23,200 I go home with the peace of mind stupid people get from watching Kevin Costner 50 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:27,220 movies. So, look, if you're seeing this because shit's gone sideways, hit the 51 00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:28,280 red button to be me again. 52 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:31,360 If everything's cool, hit the blue button to clear this from your memory 53 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:32,360 enjoy the rest of your trip. 54 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,780 Okay, Morty, that's a wrap on if you've been messing with my tech. 55 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,200 Let's run the take -in scenario. 56 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:56,400 You hear about the dishwasher job? 57 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:59,060 Shit, you're a popsicle. 58 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,580 You know me. 59 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:06,920 Right. 60 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:12,780 I'd sure like to think so. I mean it. How could you? I'm just some guy who 61 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:13,780 up every year. 62 00:05:13,820 --> 00:05:15,800 Well, something keeps you coming back here. 63 00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,880 Oh, lay back. I got a surprise for you. 64 00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:22,160 Got this set up since your last visit. 65 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:25,640 It's nice. 66 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,660 Haven't really found occasion to use it. 67 00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:29,300 Thanks for giving me one. 68 00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:31,140 I don't mind the company. 69 00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:34,780 You still have that spare rumen back? 70 00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:36,610 I don't want to sleep in the RV. 71 00:05:49,790 --> 00:05:50,790 Don't go. 72 00:05:51,450 --> 00:05:52,450 I'm not gonna. 73 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,620 Hey, obviously you're seeing this hologram because you ignored the 74 00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:09,300 from the last one. You're seeing this hologram because you ignored the 75 00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:10,900 instructions from the last one. 76 00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:13,100 I don't know why that would happen. Just a gentle reminder, you're not a real 77 00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:14,160 person, you're me. 78 00:06:14,380 --> 00:06:19,280 You're permanently fucking with me, but with persons who hurt me, you don't know 79 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:22,160 I'm here for getting hurt pretty severely. 80 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,000 Ted, one of these days you gotta come up in July. 81 00:06:29,550 --> 00:06:33,330 I caught a muskie last summer, came about up to my neck. So blind, little 82 00:06:33,330 --> 00:06:37,090 No fish in this lake. Actually, thought I might stick around this year, see the 83 00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:39,390 thaw. For real, Teddy? You're gonna stay? 84 00:06:39,810 --> 00:06:41,030 What about your company? 85 00:06:41,310 --> 00:06:42,310 Doesn't seem real. 86 00:06:42,730 --> 00:06:47,630 It's like I've been pretending I go somewhere when I leave, but I think I 87 00:06:47,630 --> 00:06:48,910 exist when I'm here. 88 00:06:49,270 --> 00:06:52,350 Like, this is literally the only place I'm actually alive. 89 00:06:53,790 --> 00:06:55,550 Does that make sense? 90 00:06:56,210 --> 00:06:57,770 Good thing nobody's driving tonight. 91 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:24,920 Fuck me. 92 00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:28,420 Hello? Rick? Who is this? 93 00:07:30,670 --> 00:07:34,030 are you calling my leg i'm not supposed to ever use the light phone but i just 94 00:07:34,030 --> 00:07:38,890 need you to get in the egg don't pick a fight with yourself okay i just want to 95 00:07:38,890 --> 00:07:42,130 get you home before anything worse happens nothing's worse than finding out 96 00:07:42,130 --> 00:07:46,850 some character that asshole plays some costume he puts on to need you alive to 97 00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:50,010 bring you home it's not my home i'm not him you are 98 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:11,440 Ted, are you OK? 99 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,020 Thank you. 100 00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:14,380 What is this thing, Ted? 101 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:19,000 I'm not who you think I am. Is this your ship from space? 102 00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:20,540 A spaceship? 103 00:08:20,980 --> 00:08:21,980 It's his. 104 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,280 He's non -vacation me. 105 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:28,600 I don't know him, and I don't want to. But this asshole's coming for me, and I 106 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:29,920 don't intend to let him win. 107 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:34,000 For the love of Pete, do you understand what you're asking? 108 00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:36,159 I wouldn't ask at all if there were any other way. 109 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:40,789 Janet, Mary, I gotta send you home. 110 00:08:40,990 --> 00:08:41,990 We're closing early. 111 00:08:42,210 --> 00:08:42,989 Come on! 112 00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:45,090 We're only three frames in! 113 00:08:47,510 --> 00:08:48,510 Thank you. 114 00:08:48,550 --> 00:08:49,770 Wow, you show your head. 115 00:08:50,150 --> 00:08:51,870 Nobody's gonna hate me, seriously. 116 00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:53,470 Janet's gonna have her word. 117 00:08:53,850 --> 00:08:56,150 Promise me you won't come back here tonight. 118 00:08:56,490 --> 00:08:57,750 Always were dramatic. 119 00:08:58,350 --> 00:08:59,350 Promise. 120 00:09:00,150 --> 00:09:03,370 I just... Don't die in my bowling alley. 121 00:09:03,730 --> 00:09:04,730 You hear me? 122 00:09:11,530 --> 00:09:12,530 Holy hell. 123 00:09:12,790 --> 00:09:14,110 How's it going out there, Bowser? 124 00:09:14,570 --> 00:09:15,570 All good. 125 00:09:18,570 --> 00:09:19,570 Sprinklers Antonio? 126 00:09:19,790 --> 00:09:21,170 Working on it, Little Mike. 127 00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:26,170 OK, Big Mike. 128 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:57,600 We need those sprinklers, Antonio! 129 00:09:58,620 --> 00:09:59,980 It's not working! 130 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,400 There are too many! 131 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:03,760 Try them! 132 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:08,920 Right! 133 00:10:10,940 --> 00:10:12,960 Follow me, you trot bastard! 134 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:33,970 not a real person now, huh? 135 00:10:38,510 --> 00:10:39,510 Marjorie! 136 00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:40,750 Why'd you come back? 137 00:10:40,970 --> 00:10:42,570 I told you not to come back. 138 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,010 You know me. 139 00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:47,030 I'm a stubborn old bitch. 140 00:10:47,990 --> 00:10:49,170 Never could leave. 141 00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:54,210 Oh, my God. I'm sorry. 142 00:10:56,450 --> 00:10:59,610 Where are you going, Sam? 143 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:17,620 Ted? He thought he could come here and destroy me, so I'm going to go there and 144 00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:18,620 destroy him. 145 00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:22,400 Yeah, what do you need from us? I need you to leave. I clearly can't keep you 146 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:23,740 safe. I can't keep anyone safe. 147 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,720 Well, we won't let Marjorie die for nothing. 148 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,740 Yeah, he may be one bad son of a bitch, but you have us. 149 00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:32,400 Where you go, we go. 150 00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:48,630 There you are, motherfucker. 151 00:11:55,830 --> 00:12:00,370 To the town of our free -roaded stranger one fine day. 152 00:12:02,310 --> 00:12:06,550 Hardly spoke to folks around him, didn't have too much to say. 153 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:12,700 No one dared to ask his business. No one dared to make a slip. 154 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:16,920 The stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip. 155 00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:19,080 Big iron on his hip. 156 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:25,320 How long has it been since you flew, Mike? I never flew anything like this. 157 00:12:25,580 --> 00:12:26,580 We'll be okay. 158 00:12:28,060 --> 00:12:29,060 Louisa. 159 00:12:38,289 --> 00:12:39,890 Big Mike, on my count. 160 00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:42,170 Initiating in three, two, one. 161 00:12:50,650 --> 00:12:51,650 Up the pressure. 162 00:12:51,850 --> 00:12:55,050 Stop responding. We've got to turn back. We can't turn back. 163 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:20,180 easy part. Hold on to your dick. 164 00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:31,460 Whoa! 165 00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:38,540 Okay, if you're seeing this one, clearly the holograms are not 166 00:13:38,540 --> 00:13:41,000 working. Let's get him, boys! 167 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:46,920 For some reason, activating vacation mode. 168 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,640 out here has broken the garbage disposal. 169 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:08,520 Turn this thing off or I fry her. Dad, you want to call off deliverance here? 170 00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:10,520 My god, you're his daughter? 171 00:14:10,780 --> 00:14:13,040 It's unbelievable that I'm not allowed to buy alcohol yet. 172 00:14:13,260 --> 00:14:15,360 Garage, override code Charlie7Alpha. 173 00:14:16,740 --> 00:14:20,820 Take her out, Mike! Wait, don't hurt her. Oh, jeez, you're back. 174 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,540 Oh, wait, are you still vacation Rick? 175 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:29,080 Please tell me you have the leg bone. You spring breakers put a hole in my 176 00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:30,420 I'm going back out to the pool. 177 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:39,419 You can say that again. 178 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:42,920 Somebody better get the disposal running. There's fish bones in there. 179 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,880 called a garbage disposal. 180 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:48,400 That was your voice on my leg phone. 181 00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:49,700 You're his friend? 182 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:50,880 Kind of. 183 00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:52,740 I'm your grandson. 184 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,960 Well, looks like we're going to be here for a while, huh? 185 00:14:56,660 --> 00:14:58,020 Where's that fucking red button? 186 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,440 Hey, me? 187 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:02,660 The hologram guy? 188 00:15:03,660 --> 00:15:04,940 Garage? Yes? 189 00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:06,940 You can hear me. 190 00:15:12,170 --> 00:15:12,849 Holy shit. 191 00:15:12,850 --> 00:15:13,850 Hey, Teddy. 192 00:15:14,150 --> 00:15:17,130 As long as you're building spaceman stuff. 193 00:15:26,950 --> 00:15:30,870 I'm going to get another drink. Come on, Ted. We were beating you before this, 194 00:15:30,870 --> 00:15:31,870 too. Give me another pitcher. 195 00:15:32,050 --> 00:15:35,410 Sure. Are you one of those hicks with robot arms? What did you call me? I 196 00:15:35,410 --> 00:15:36,770 thought you guys were owning it. 197 00:15:36,990 --> 00:15:38,350 I'll make it interesting, Teddy. 198 00:15:54,860 --> 00:15:55,980 Beth made pancakes. 199 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,840 I'm busy. You're wearing his clothes now. It has pockets. It's not a symbol. 200 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,500 Teddy, you know what would be cool? 201 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:08,160 If I had laser eyes or, OK, one eye is a laser and the other sees through 202 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:09,160 clothes. 203 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,660 What the hell is that? 204 00:16:10,940 --> 00:16:11,940 Just go in. 205 00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:15,760 I can see our bowling alley. 206 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,040 We're going home. 207 00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:19,380 So we won? We beat this guy? 208 00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:22,220 Sure. Oh, yeah. We're going home, boys. 209 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,700 And you'll see me later when we get back home. Oh. 210 00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:31,640 Want me to keep an eye on your old stuff? 211 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,520 Sell it if you want. Buy Louisa something nice. 212 00:16:39,260 --> 00:16:43,160 He looks pretty normal to me. 213 00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:44,380 Talk to him, then. 214 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,540 Dad? Oh, god! 215 00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:49,300 Oh! He's still Ted, apparently. 216 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:50,680 There's a difference? 217 00:16:58,380 --> 00:16:59,380 You see what I'm saying? 218 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:00,900 I'm not staying if I can't swim. 219 00:17:10,540 --> 00:17:15,160 Sometimes I don't know where this dirty road is taking me. 220 00:17:17,380 --> 00:17:20,560 Sometimes I don't even know the reason why. 221 00:17:22,420 --> 00:17:27,540 But I guess I keep a gambling, lots of booze and lots of rambling. 222 00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:33,130 Well, it's easier than just waiting around. 223 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,660 Well, look who's back. 224 00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:06,140 Came to pour one out for Marjorie. Marjorie's over there. 225 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,800 This is little Mike. 226 00:18:09,020 --> 00:18:10,020 Oh, Jesus. 227 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,060 He got run through on his own robot arm. Oh, boy. 228 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:14,540 Fuck. He was drunk. 229 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,340 Guess he had something in his eye. I didn't mean for any of this to happen, 230 00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:21,720 guys. It was just nice to vacation with dumb people. 231 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,040 You did this. 232 00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:26,200 You fake outsider piece of shit. 233 00:18:45,070 --> 00:18:46,070 Grandpa needs you. 234 00:18:46,230 --> 00:18:47,770 Grandpa needs you, Morty. 235 00:18:48,090 --> 00:18:52,430 Come on. Okay, Rick. It'll just take a minute. I mean, Ted, what are we calling 236 00:18:52,430 --> 00:18:53,209 him now? 237 00:18:53,210 --> 00:18:54,930 Jesus, that's really dangerous. 238 00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:58,430 It's empty. I don't know how to get more, Morty. 239 00:18:58,750 --> 00:19:02,570 We gotta get more. Great. The one time I was winning. Can you take your 240 00:19:02,570 --> 00:19:06,230 grandfather back out to the garage, please, Morty? That is a troubling 241 00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:10,170 dynamic. Everybody knows that, right? We can discuss it after we get this thing 242 00:19:10,170 --> 00:19:11,170 off your father. 243 00:19:11,390 --> 00:19:15,310 Know what, Morty? I'm not going back there ever. 244 00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:16,990 Oh. Stupid bowling. 245 00:19:17,550 --> 00:19:19,170 Oh, you moron. 246 00:19:19,530 --> 00:19:20,530 Idiot trophy. 247 00:19:20,730 --> 00:19:22,870 Oh, wait, no. You don't want to keep some of these? 248 00:19:23,130 --> 00:19:24,130 Let's go happy. 249 00:19:25,170 --> 00:19:28,250 Don't drag me like this. Drop it, Morty. Drop it. 250 00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:33,970 I'm sorry. I tried to shred you, Morty. 251 00:19:34,230 --> 00:19:35,670 You're a nice kid. 252 00:19:35,930 --> 00:19:38,940 Good. Good boy. You should have your grandpa. 253 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,240 Not this. 254 00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:43,520 Stupid Morty. Stupid Ted. 255 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:49,000 If I were just a little bit smarter, I could figure it out and be happy. 256 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:52,320 I'm going to push the button, Morty. I'm going to do it for you. 257 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:55,420 If that makes you feel better. 258 00:19:55,740 --> 00:19:58,140 Is he better at this? 259 00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:00,920 Rick? Um, yeah. 260 00:20:01,380 --> 00:20:02,460 Yeah, he is. 261 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:03,599 You are. 262 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,980 Don't bullshit me, Morty. No. 263 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:16,720 You have a great family and lots of friends. You're so happy. And we all 264 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,540 really love you. Ah, fuck it. 265 00:20:27,420 --> 00:20:29,760 It didn't work? 266 00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:31,300 No. 267 00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:33,120 It did. 268 00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:53,220 I get stuck on pages You keep 269 00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:59,860 trying to learn Feels like I've been on this one 270 00:20:59,860 --> 00:21:01,120 for ages 271 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:21,900 as a tourist on our little island. But now we're going to know you as part of 272 00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:22,679 our family. 273 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,200 I love you, Solpak. 274 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,660 Mush, mush, Moloch. I didn't think I was the kind of man. 275 00:21:28,940 --> 00:21:30,560 Oh, sorry. 276 00:21:30,980 --> 00:21:32,820 I, um... We love you, Solpak! 277 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,920 Should anyone object? 278 00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:39,330 Speak now or forever hold your peace. 279 00:21:39,630 --> 00:21:40,630 Yeah, I object. 280 00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:41,709 It's horrible. 281 00:21:41,710 --> 00:21:44,210 Can we let it play out? He's not in danger. 282 00:21:44,430 --> 00:21:48,050 I've never seen these people before in my life. Okay, Grandpa Rick. Let's go. 283 00:21:48,510 --> 00:21:50,190 Vacation's over. It's not my vacation. 284 00:21:50,450 --> 00:21:51,450 It's my home. 285 00:21:52,950 --> 00:21:53,950 Let me go. 286 00:21:55,590 --> 00:21:57,830 Boom. Egged. It's okay. 287 00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:02,270 He's an alien who removes his intelligence to hook up with locals. He 288 00:22:02,270 --> 00:22:04,130 you're simple. He doesn't want to be known. 289 00:22:06,140 --> 00:22:07,140 Did you get any of that? 20438