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1
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:05,800
I don't have the homework.
2
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And he's like, well, if it's in your
locker, why don't you go and get it
3
00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:11,700
And I was like, no fucking way, sir.
4
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So I just used the heel of my palm to
smash his nose into his brain.
5
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Yeah.
6
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He's dead now, so that's cool.
7
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Just like that. Just like that.
8
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:25,380
Just dead. Yeah.
9
00:00:25,940 --> 00:00:27,720
Well, you probably think that's pretty
hot, don't you?
10
00:00:29,260 --> 00:00:30,380
That I took a life today?
11
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:32,299
Maybe.
12
00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:33,860
Maybe? Maybe.
13
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Maybe. Maybe.
14
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Maybe.
15
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Idiot.
16
00:00:45,820 --> 00:00:46,820
Oh.
17
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Look at this. A couple of queers, cold
as brass.
18
00:00:51,100 --> 00:00:52,100
Hi, Dad.
19
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:54,120
Horrible. Disgusting. In you come.
20
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Come on.
21
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Against nature. It's horrible.
22
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Impulsive. You all right, Silas? Yeah.
23
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Dad, fuck off. He was in. Fuck off.
24
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And I never saw a rainbow again.
25
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Hi, Mum.
26
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Hiya, love.
27
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Voice of an angel.
28
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Oh, silence. What have you been?
29
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GPS, isn't it?
30
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How are you? Yeah, all right, but I'm
not getting my tickets in every two
31
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seconds. Are you staying for dinner,
love?
32
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Uh... Oh, no.
33
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It's not only when you're bringing
gentlemen home.
34
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Silence has been.
35
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If I could.
36
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As long as you use a condom.
37
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:37,500
Well, neither have I slept with anyone
else.
38
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:41,240
And if you're worried about us getting
pregnant, I've got some biological news
39
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for you.
40
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All right, smart -ass.
41
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Oh, and as long as I can put you to good
work, Silas. Yeah?
42
00:01:46,780 --> 00:01:50,080
We've got to change the living room into
a kid's birthday party on Sunday.
43
00:01:50,340 --> 00:01:53,580
We've all got to do some PPMSA bullshit
that Max saw on the TikTok.
44
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,780
So now if we don't do it, the universe
will explode.
45
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Oh, yeah?
46
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How old are you going to be?
47
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Six.
48
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Very cool, Dad.
49
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Promise me, boys, you will never marry
an unserious man.
50
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I won't. Would you mind not teaching my
child?
51
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Such a bitch.
52
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Oh, wow.
53
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That's the best from the unshit. British
scientists claim to have finally
54
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pinpointed the specific source of
homosexuality. More now from our science
55
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correspondent, Riz Khan.
56
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York Research Facility scientists have
discovered that homosexuality is
57
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triggered in the developing male brain
with a specific set of triggers.
58
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With me now is the lead study author,
Dr. Josephine Reid.
59
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Dr. Reid, what exactly are these
triggers?
60
00:02:41,580 --> 00:02:46,360
Well, all that's required are two inputs
at a very specific moment in young
61
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:50,160
development, and the subject will
develop a sexual interest in the same
62
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So these inputs are hearing a powerful
female singing voice.
63
00:02:55,880 --> 00:03:00,980
and seeing bright yellow simultaneously
and the moment of development is a
64
00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:06,440
single day specifically the sixth
birthday so you're saying that if a
65
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sees bright yellow and hears a female
singing voice on his sixth birthday
66
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:16,060
grow up homosexual and if he doesn't he
won't as simple as that dr reed thank
67
00:03:16,060 --> 00:03:22,740
you well with that it's back to you
turning now to parliament the
68
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chancellor has today revealed his first
budget telling MPs that his new policies
69
00:03:27,180 --> 00:03:31,980
will lead to long -term growth and
permanent tax cuts. He said he wanted
70
00:03:31,980 --> 00:03:35,980
budget to focus on empowering working
people, so the Leader of the Opposition
71
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forwarded a statement to the desperate
claims of a party spraying ever further
72
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from its election promises.
73
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We're off to bed.
74
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Holy shit.
75
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Holy shit. Holy shit.
76
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Strong female singing voice in yellow on
your 6th birthday.
77
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Does that make sense to you?
78
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,180
Well, for my sixth birthday, the dual
theme was Pikachu meets Diana Ross, but
79
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that doesn't keep track for me.
80
00:04:00,580 --> 00:04:01,680
It means they can choose.
81
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:03,260
Max, they can decide.
82
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:05,940
They'll be all right.
83
00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:17,440
No, you have to talk to him.
84
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You're his father.
85
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,399
This is huge.
86
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,160
That is where these chairs came from.
Oh, right.
87
00:04:27,430 --> 00:04:28,430
Morning.
88
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Okay.
89
00:04:36,470 --> 00:04:39,930
Thanks for having me. You don't want to
stay and help paint decorations?
90
00:04:40,450 --> 00:04:41,670
Max is going to pick colours.
91
00:04:45,290 --> 00:04:46,290
Okay, Max.
92
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You pick your favourite colours for the
decorations and take them to the side.
93
00:04:50,770 --> 00:04:52,830
Any colour you want. As many as you
want.
94
00:04:59,939 --> 00:05:01,920
Okay, let's go with pink.
95
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:06,800
Pink
96
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:18,880
and
97
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,780
purple might really be a done deal.
98
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:24,820
That's a really good color. I really
like it.
99
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,200
I'm done.
100
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,260
Pink, purple and green then.
101
00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:42,380
Yep.
102
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:46,800
I have to go.
103
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,680
Oh, okay.
104
00:05:49,420 --> 00:05:50,680
Are you going to come to the party?
105
00:05:51,740 --> 00:05:53,460
Do come or I'll be really bored.
106
00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:54,660
Of course.
107
00:06:09,930 --> 00:06:10,930
The bucket broke.
108
00:06:11,210 --> 00:06:12,210
Yeah, broke.
109
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Had to get a new one.
110
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,200
Is it my birthday?
111
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,620
Not yet.
112
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,120
I need to ask you something.
113
00:06:48,380 --> 00:06:49,600
It's really important.
114
00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:51,500
So it's okay to tell the truth.
115
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:53,160
Okay?
116
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:54,760
Okay.
117
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,360
Did anyone tell you what colours to pick
for your decorations?
118
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,239
Mm -mm.
119
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,440
I picked my favourite colours.
120
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,000
Oh, sure.
121
00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:08,260
Because you know what happens to liars,
right?
122
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:10,360
No.
123
00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:15,190
I don't know, they get thrown down a
well or something.
124
00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:19,910
I picked my favourite colours.
125
00:07:22,770 --> 00:07:25,990
Connor, it's Max's birthday, let him
sleep.
126
00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:31,510
OK.
127
00:07:35,570 --> 00:07:36,570
No.
128
00:07:38,490 --> 00:07:40,410
He picked his favourite colours.
129
00:08:04,810 --> 00:08:06,350
Birthday boy up yet? Not yet.
130
00:08:06,830 --> 00:08:08,510
All the screaming still in the post.
131
00:08:09,090 --> 00:08:10,470
Guess he didn't sleep well then.
132
00:08:11,130 --> 00:08:12,350
Enjoy the peace while you can.
133
00:08:13,370 --> 00:08:14,370
Let him have some.
134
00:08:14,830 --> 00:08:15,830
Just today.
135
00:08:17,690 --> 00:08:18,890
I think you're alright.
136
00:08:19,130 --> 00:08:21,430
It would be today that I come down with
something.
137
00:08:22,030 --> 00:08:23,030
I don't know.
138
00:08:23,430 --> 00:08:24,430
What are the symptoms?
139
00:08:24,830 --> 00:08:27,270
It's off. I've got a tickle in my
throat.
140
00:08:27,750 --> 00:08:29,290
I hope I don't lose my voice.
141
00:08:42,059 --> 00:08:43,960
is mercy upon us. Help! Help!
142
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,560
Help! Help!
143
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,000
Help! Help!
144
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,700
Help! Help! Help!
145
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:17,340
Yeah, yeah, I just, uh, I really need
your help out here with... Okay, let's
146
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:18,340
the fucking fuck out of here.
147
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,420
What? Oh, you still can.
148
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:22,680
Wait!
149
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,360
Cool. All right, guys, this is my boy
Connor.
150
00:09:27,580 --> 00:09:28,580
All right, all right.
151
00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:31,260
Uh... Want a pint?
152
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,040
Really? Yeah.
153
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:34,780
Good. Don't tell your mama.
154
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,240
All right, cool.
155
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:41,460
Hiya. Uh, two fuckers, please, and a
packet of cheese and onion.
156
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,080
I need to talk to you.
157
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:11,860
All right?
158
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:13,800
All right.
159
00:10:16,980 --> 00:10:17,980
What?
160
00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:21,440
This is very hard for me.
161
00:10:24,860 --> 00:10:26,080
Is it about the other bucket?
162
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:30,500
Yeah.
163
00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:34,780
Spit it out.
164
00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:47,250
With Max and this stuff in the news, we
don't have a choice.
165
00:10:48,130 --> 00:10:51,710
And it's hard to know what the right
thing is to do.
166
00:10:52,930 --> 00:10:59,670
Me and your mum have been talking and,
well, with
167
00:10:59,670 --> 00:11:05,990
you, we didn't have a choice because
nobody knew how it worked then. But
168
00:11:05,990 --> 00:11:09,150
I've been thinking.
169
00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:17,000
If we had had a choice, if I'm really
honest with myself,
170
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:23,840
I think I would have preferred for you
to end up gay.
171
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:31,000
Because I think it's been kind of a
challenge for you.
172
00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:38,480
I think it's made you sensitive and self
-aware.
173
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,100
I'm kind.
174
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:48,380
I think it's made you into an incredible
young man. And I literally couldn't be
175
00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:49,560
prouder to be your dad.
176
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,880
Look at the bucket.
177
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:56,540
It really broke.
178
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,500
I only had blue.
179
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:03,220
And your mum's always going to be fine.
She's just been a half a grand jack. But
180
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:05,260
she didn't want you to think she was
doing it on purpose.
181
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:09,520
Look, whatever happens, happens.
182
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:15,060
We just hope that that turned out as
amazing as you were.
183
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:22,960
That's all I wanted to say.
184
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:30,900
God, you're so fucking embarrassing.
185
00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:38,400
Eat your crisps, you puff.
186
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:52,880
Sorry, it's not coming.
187
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:55,500
Uh -oh.
188
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:56,860
I'm in paradise.
189
00:13:35,050 --> 00:13:39,150
yeah all right okay right who here wants
cake
190
00:13:39,150 --> 00:13:55,030
doesn't
191
00:13:55,030 --> 00:13:58,310
match in oh Connor
192
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:07,600
Oh, love.
193
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,120
Do you want to talk about it?
194
00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:40,340
We've come back to the party.
13112
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