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A couple weeks ago, I
was ready to marry her,

but now it doesn't feel like the
same person I gave an ultimatum to.

You wanted me to figure
out what I wanted...

I wanted you to find out if that was me.

'Cause I've never been put
first in this relationship.

Can you just entertain the idea

that the reason you
don't like how I act now

is because I'm not just
giving in to all of your needs?

- That's not it. That's bullshit.
- And I'm paying attention to my needs?

I'm sorry. That's bullshit.

- This is not what I want in a marriage.
- Okay.

This trial marriage symbolizes something

that is much deeper than the
relationship that we had back home.

It terrifies me.

She's saying that in three weeks,
if you don't propose, she's gone.

Are you ready for marriage today?

I did not think I would
fall for another person.

I don't want to lose you.

- Is Xander your "hell yes"?
- I can't say. It doesn't seem as cloudy.

As much as you deserve your "hell
yes," I also deserve my "hell yes."

- What if I don't wanna let you go?
- Fucking give me a break.

I'm shutting down. It is done for me.

It is done. I'm done.

I looked at your Instagram and
saw you had been messaging Yoly.

It just feels like you're
stabbing me over and over.

Coming from a relationship with
you, the romance was very much there.

But Mal... I don't know how to
differentiate that right now.

I don't want to feel
like I'm a second pick.

Please stay open with me

and don't close yourself
off from any possibility.

Because weeks ago you
wanted to marry me.

I feel sad that I was
not present. I hate that.

We don't know where it's gonna end up.

- Do you trust me to figure it out?
- Yeah.

I love you.

You deserve the world.
I've always thought that.

I hear you and see you and
believe you in what you're saying.

But I want you to know I'm
still in love with somebody else.

It's always been you.
I know it's you now.

And, if it's not now...

I promise to come looking
for you in the next lifetime.

But not without asking you...

will you do life with me?

And will you marry me?

Is that a yes?

You know I don't care about the ring.

I know.

What took you so long?

I don't know. But I'm here.
I want to do this with you.

I swear,

I promise to spend my life choosing you.

We'll work through all of this.

- My left knee is killing me.
- Get back up.

You promise?

I love you.

I'm sorry it took me so long.

The ring looks good on you.

You look like my wife.

That's what you look like.

I thought it would be so much harder.

I've wanted you.

I have to ask. Um...

It feels like it took your
back being against the wall,

and to see me... about to walk away,

and to maybe even have another person

willing and ready to give me
everything I've asked for right away

for you to, like,

be ready.

You don't have to worry about my back

being against the wall to move forward.

I thought everything comes, like...

Right after this,

we're, like, calling our realtor
friends, we're house-hunting.

We're figuring out baby-planning.

In my mind, I thought that
those are all the things

that come right now.

You need to have those
things in line right away.

That's what I've been taught.

Then I got different perspectives,
and I started hearing your voice,

'cause you've never told me
you needed all those things.

I never did.

I just wanted your commitment.

I just want to move forward, create
the life that we said we want.

You don't have to push me for that.

I'm here.

Let's work with each other. Let's
create this life that we want.

It's pretty.

It's really pretty.

What you said was beautiful.

It's beautiful hearing your words.

I'm like, that's all I've
ever wanted to hear. Um...

I think it's only fair for me to say

that I've been really, really,
really, really fucking hesitant,

up until this moment,

of who to choose,

or what...

Or even just to choose myself.

We love each other, you and I.

But I feel like I would be
dishonest if I didn't say that, if...

if you had not shown up
exactly the way you have,

I would be very pressed to
explore life with somebody else

that wants what I want, how I want
it, when I want it, and chooses me.

Xander very much wants to go
forward with me and explore that.

I've never disrespected
your love for Xander

or you guys' relationship,
and I won't start now.

Okay.

I know this has been very hard for you.

I can't imagine how
difficult it is for you.

You've never not said that you
were in love with two people.

That's never... It's
never not been the case.

I knew that before proposing to you.

I wasn't lying to you when I told
you I'd work through things with you.

I know where you're at.

I know how you feel.

You okay?

Yeah.

You know I got your
back, no matter what.

You sure you're okay?

I see you.

I see you way deeper than
you think I do. I see you.

I still love you.

I don't want to feel like
I'm fighting to get you back.

I want to walk into this together.

I wouldn't say yes if I wasn't

feeling capable of
walking into this together.

Okay.

Do you believe in us?

I do believe in us.

I love you, Yoly.

I love you too.

Two months ago, I gave my
partner, Tiff, the ultimatum.

We either get engaged, or we're done.

To be honest, I don't
know what's gonna happen,

because we've been up and down.

I like this one.

I'm scared because

I could potentially lose a
person that I love so much.

Before coming in here,

I felt like this experience
was gonna go by slow,

but it actually went by really quick.

The choice I'm making, it's
in my gut, it's in my heart.

I think that's the greatest
gift of this experience.

Now I know what it is I want.

What it is I don't want.

I know that this is gonna be
the biggest decision of my life,

and it's probably the
scariest moment of my life.

I always knew that I
wanted to marry Tiff,

but, when we would fight, it was
always blaming, blaming, blaming.

The power to be able
to look into myself,

that's one of the hardest
things I've ever had to do.

I ultimately know what I want,

but all the thoughts of "What
if... ? What if... ? What if... ?"

It creeps up on you.

I think we've come a long way.

I know every single fiber in
Mildred's being wants to be with me.

But can we actually communicate?

Because I need a partner to
lean in to love instead of anger.

I'm extremely confident in
the decision I'm making today,

and I know that whether I
get down on one knee or not

is going to alter the
course of my life forever.

I'm feeling so overwhelmed.

I have never felt this
nervous in my life,

and I'm just hoping for the best.

But, if she doesn't propose,
I'm ready to walk away.

Hi.

Hi.

Um...

The first day I met
you, I brought you here.

- I see all the contrasts in the water.
- Yeah.

I think about you.

- It's really beautiful.
- Yeah.

So... it's been one hell of a ride.

Yeah. It's been... It's been a lot.

Yeah.

Not just, like, the past experience,

but, like, just our relationship itself.

It's been, like, so much.

- Mm-hm.
- So, so much.

Yeah.

I feel like a lot of my emotions
before were really bottled up,

and I felt like there was this, um...

I don't know, this block that
was going on between you and I.

You know?

I feel like being on this
experience has allowed me

to put my soul and my
feelings on the line.

I've been learning so much about me.

I've been learning a lot about you too.

I know we still fight.

I know that that's
gonna continue to happen.

But I have to see it
through the lens of,

"Is this someone that I want to
spend the rest of my life with?"

What about you?

Were you done talking?

I'm sorry.

I know the past two years
has definitely been rough.

There were so many ways I didn't show up

when you needed it.

I was physically there...

but I wasn't there.

I... I fucked up a lot.

Wasn't always the
best version of myself.

Regardless of why you pushed me away

or how you pushed me
away or any of that,

you did still show up.

You know, sometimes,
when we meet someone

and we're so crazy about them,

we think that everything should be fine,

and everything should
be just perfect and easy.

I hear that word a lot.
"It's so easy to be with you."

But I think that in reality,
it's the hard things.

It's the hardships that we go through,

and it's all the
challenges along the way.

And that is what, like,
has brought us together.

Being in a trial marriage
was one of the hardest things,

but was so rewarding
in the sense that, like,

I learned so much
about us and about you.

Being on this experience with you

has taught me so much
about our relationship,

and where we're at, and
how freaking crazy we are.

We already knew that.

We're crazy, but we're
crazy for each other.

Everything that I've been through
in the last two months, I just...

A lot of things make
sense in our relationship.

A lot of the things, a lot
of questions that I had,

a lot of the things that made me leave,

a lot of the things that
led me to break up with you,

like, all of those answers

that I didn't have before,
they now make sense.

- Yeah.
- I don't think you're perfect.

But your perfectness is not what
made me fall in love with you.

It's... It's all your flaws.

Like, I see you, but I'm
excited to be with you.

I just want to tell you that...

Oh my God.

I just... I don't know...

I love you so much.

And I love you unconditionally.

I want you to love me in
that same way that I love you.

I spent two years of my life with you,

wanting to hear the words "I love you,"

and I'm afraid that...

that, like,

you might not love me unconditionally.

And I'm just so afraid because I know,

at the end of the day,
that's what I want.

So I'm bringing to you my
fears and my insecurities

and telling you how much I love you.

And how much I believe in us.

Thank you for sharing that with me.

Um...

Honestly, from the bottom of my heart,

even though it was a fucking
roller coaster, all of this shit...

... I'm very grateful
for this experience.

I just want to tell you something.

Love...

... is a very short word.

It's easy to spell and
more difficult to define,

but it's impossible to not live a life

without craving to breathe its air.

And that's what I love about you.

Your simplicity, your complexity,

intertwined within the depths
of your irresistibility.

Like... a perfect blend of it all.

Like a perfect blend,

such as the coffee that
you make me in the morning,

just the way I like.

You keep our relationship
passionate, adventurous,

spontaneous, and fun,

just the way I want.

And you show me support
in my darkest of moments.

Just the way I need.

And...

it's impossible not to crave
everything that you are.

And what you are to me...

is love.

It's easy to fall in love with
your smile, your laugh, your eyes.

It's more difficult
to wrap my mind around

our crazy, up-and-down,
intense, deep connection

that you and I share.

But it's impossible to not
love you through it all.

Until my very last breath.

I love you.

Mildred, will you marry me?

- What was that?
- Yes! Yes!

Yes. Yes.

Oh my God.

You better marry me.

- I promise to be better for us.
- Me too.

I'm so happy.

And we're moving in together.

You got what you wanted.

- You.
- I mean, yeah, I...

I wanted you. I want you.

Okay, well, you got me, all right?

- I love you so much.
- I love you.

I'm so happy.

I don't wanna let go of you.

Oh my God, I hope not.

I'm so happy!

I'm really... I'm really happy too.

- I'm so happy.
- I feel like it's, uh... it's about time.

It's about damn time, and I'm sorry.

- We're engaged.
- Wow. Is this what it feels like?

- Who am I?
- You're my fiancée.

We're engaged!

You're so stupid, babe.

Is that what's next?

You're my love.

I love you so much.

Me too.

I love you so much.

There were definitely
very trying moments

within the past couple of months,

but we're finally here,
and I'm feeling ready.

Throughout my time being
here in this experience,

I've come to the realization

that there are multiple
layers to my ultimatum.

I don't think it's just
about getting engaged

and somebody not being ready.

I think that I just deserve someone
who's willing to grow with me.

And, you know, I don't think I can

be tied down by someone
else's stuckness.

I was ready to walk out of
this experience at one point.

I was ready to throw the towel in.

And I stuck with it, and
I'm so grateful that I did.

But today...

Ah...

I'm feeling really scared.

It's now time to make my final decision.

I don't think I slept
that much last night.

Just thinking about what I'm gonna say.

I'm still going back
and forth in my head.

Dealing with difficult
situations and people

has been my, you know,
weakness, I suppose.

It's not gonna be
rainbows and butterflies,

but that's where the
rubber meets the road.

Eight weeks ago, I issued an ultimatum.

Up until this point, I've always
just been so sure that I found my one.

But, at the same time,

I've come so far in my
own personal journey,

and we still have some issues
that we would have to deal with.

I don't know if Aussie is
ready to be what I need for me.

I have a really tough decision to make.

I'm going to have to do
what I know is right for me.

When I first walked
into this experience,

I used to think that
in order to get married,

I had to be the most perfect person,

the most perfect kid,
the most perfect anything.

And I felt like I'm not good
enough to get married to Sam.

There's also this side of
fear for me about commitment.

"Am I gonna marry her? Maybe
I'm not the one for her."

It's an overwhelming, like,
out-of-body experience.

This could be our last moment together.

Oh.

Wow.

So amazing.

- Thank you.
- Wow.

I've seen so many butterflies.

I have too.

You know how yellow
butterflies are like my grandma?

I saw one too.

- I saw the monarch, which is your grandma.
- Yeah.

My grandma, yes.

And then coming up the path
was a little baby lizard...

Aw!

... which is like my uncle.

And he was just staring at me.

- In your beautiful dress.
- Yeah.

Aw, and you're beautiful.

Yeah, the whole idea of marriage...

I was so scared

to choose my life partner, you know?

There are just so many of
those moments of just, like...

you walking away.

And it took this crazy
experience, but I felt it.

I try really hard to support you
in the way that you're asking,

and I finally was able to hear you.

This experience has brought me
to redefine marriage for myself.

There's a little story
behind this decision.

- And I'd like to tell you that first.
- Okay.

So there are two species of penguins

that live in the Antarctic,

and when they find their life mate,

they search along the
shoreline of the pebble beach

and look for the right rock,

the perfect rock,

to present to their life mate.

I feel that was a
story I could relate to

because I feel like I've
found my lifelong mate in you,

and I'd like to present you

with my version...

Okay... Of a rock?

of a rock.

To present to you to,
um... represent our love.

And also that I've actually
come a long way, you know,

to be able to find my
perfect life partner.

Mm-hmm.

So I would like to present
to you a heart-shaped...

It's the most powerful
labradorite protection gemstone.

Mm-hmm.

And, um... so I choose you.

Um...

Thank you.

I'd like to share a little
more, if you'll let me,

of my journey to finding
my perfect rock for you.

And how far I've come to realize that

you are the most perfect...

... partner for me.

Through thick and thin, I
think that we've shown ourselves

what we're capable of.

So, um...

I'd like to present you my
search for my perfect rock.

Oh my goodness.

Will you...

Will you marry me?

Yes.

It is so beautiful.

Oh my goodness.

Guess what happened?

- Boom! Boom!
- Ultimatums aren't all bad.

The happiest day of my life, boo.

I can feel you shaking. I know I am.

- I have been shaking since last night...
- Yeah?

Pacing up and down.

It's weird seeing you with lipstick.
Let's get rid of some of that.

Did you think I was gonna
give you, like, just that?

- I don't think so.
- No?

You would've been fine
if I just gave you that?

No.

No.

- This is so beautiful.
- I'm glad I got the ring, then.

I love you so much.

I love you.

I walked in here eight weeks
ago ready to marry Vanessa.

I never anticipated doing
anything less than that.

I've always wanted to be loyal to her,

and, like, that's what she deserves.

That's what anyone deserves,
being in a relationship.

We had this great foundation.

But also, I did get an
emotional and physical connection

with someone else that was not her.

That's really upsetting
for her. And for me.

Coming into this experience,
I didn't expect... ... this.

I'm not really being
given an ultimatum anymore.

It's like she took it away.

I thought I was going to have
to make a decision at the end,

and it turns out, really, she is.

We're not the same people
we were just two months ago.

Everything's so confusing.

I don't think that I know yet
who I want to give myself to.

I just know that I do want
to choose what's best for me.

And it's hard.

Through my relationship with Xander,

she gave me so much love.

That is what I want.

And I think it took a little bit of
time alone to really feel that weight.

But I'm as ready as I'll ever be to
hear what Xander has to say today.

This whole experience
has been such a mindfuck.

I'm 30 years old,

and for 30 years of my life, I
didn't see marriage in my future.

Settling down in a home with one person.

But when I realized Xander
was connecting with someone,

it, like, flipped a switch in me.

I realized I wanted her to be all mine.

It's been a roller coaster, obviously.

But I look back on our
four years together,

and I can recognize the love that
was obviously, evidently there.

So I am confident going into this day,

knowing how I feel,
knowing what I deserve,

and knowing where I want
our relationship to go.

I gave Vanessa the ultimatum

because we've been
dating for four years,

and we can't just keep dating forever

with me knowing that I want
to get married and you don't.

My trial marriage with Yoly
showed me there is someone else

I can have feelings for.

You know, she wants marriage
and kids and all of those things.

Even though I have these
thoughts of Yoly in my head,

and that's a very real thing,

I truly love Vanessa unconditionally.

Despite so much that we've
been through in our four years,

I'm just like, "Damn,
I love you, though."

I really cannot imagine
my life without her in it.

And if Vanessa and I don't
walk out of here engaged,

I am definitely risking
losing her forever.

That's so hard to admit.

No matter what, this decision
will be completely life-changing.

You're beaut...

So good to see you.

You look so good.

You look amazing.

You're so beautiful.

I can't believe we're here. I can't
believe we made it to this point.

I know.

- It's wild.
- It's definitely hard to sleep.

I feel like you need to talk first.

I cannot imagine not
having you in my life.

For the past four years,

I've gotten to wake up
happy nearly every day.

And that's because of you.

You taught me how to cook, how
to swim, how to shuffle cards.

You've made the most mundane
tasks like grocery shopping, like,

so exciting, and it feels
like an adventure every time.

You're a huge part of me,
and I'm so thankful for that.

This experience has been really hard.

It's definitely not what we
expected, and I know that.

But I do feel like you've showed
me so much love and support

over the past few weeks.

I feel like that we're gonna
leave better than how we came.

And I'm gonna love you forever.

I know that I've dreamt
about proposing to you before.

In all of those dreams,

it was with us both
feeling a lot more confident

and secure in our decision.

And I feel like... that's
not where we're at right now.

Which sucks.

I wish I could give you the world.
I thought I was gonna be able to.

I thought I was gonna be able
to make everything you wanted,

all your dreams, come true.

And you deserve a lot more than
what I can offer you right now.

My heart's been slowly breaking
over the past two months.

This is absolutely not how I
thought this experience would end.

Yeah, me either.

I never realized how much I
needed to grow until coming here.

I just thought, "I love myself as I am,

and I don't see anything
I need to change."

But coming here, I realized
there were a lot of things

I did want to change

about who I am in a relationship,
and just who I am in general.

And I'm really proud of the person I am,

and the person I think I'll become.

I have been holding on to hope...

the Xander that I took to The Nutcracker

and drank prosecco with in Venice,

and built a gingerbread house with,

and went on a boat ride with in Kauai,

that that Xander is
gonna resurface for me.

I want to feel that
love from you so badly

that I've just been accepting
any bread crumbs you give me.

Part of the scariness of this all is

facing the unknown of what it
feels like to not be with you.

To see you move on with someone else,

to maybe see you start a
family with someone else,

and to feel that loss of the
future that I wanted for us.

Thank you for our four years together.

They changed me.

I don't know who I would be
without those four years with you.

I will always love you. You're
the reason I know what love is.

We'll meet again if it's right,
and it might be at a taco truck,

or it might be in another
life when we're both birds.

But the universe brought us together,
after we didn't think it would,

and it might happen again.

And I'm gonna hold out hope for that.

I love you so much.

You're so strong.

I'm not strong.

I'm not strong. You have no idea...

You have no idea what it's
like to feel you slipping away.

Oh fuck.

For four years, I really felt like
you viewed me as the one for you,

and you would love me deeply
forever, and choose me over and over.

You know me.

You've loved me.

You know my fears, my insecurities.

You know everything. You
know everyone in my life.

I never thought you wouldn't choose me.

I wish I could still
give you that. I do.

I don't know how I'm
going to stop seeing you

as the person that I'm in love with

and want a future with.

That's what I see when I
look at you, even right now.

Even after we said all that.

Maybe like you said... another time.

I love you.

I love you.

I will love you forever.

I... don't understand why you
don't want to grow alongside me.

I don't understand it.

Unless it's about you exploring
something with someone else.

We... had the best relationship.

- I loved it.
- Ugh, I hate past tense.

Me too.

I know she loves me, and I
think she knows I love her.

But I think... that we both know that...

we're not supposed to be together
right now, if maybe not ever.

As much as I really wanted
to marry her three months ago,

I think, because I knew she never
wanted to get married and I did...

And then, now it's
flip-flopped, and I don't know.

Yes, we were very compatible and,
like, great partners together,

but we were never on the same page,

and we're still not on the same page.

So, at some point, I think that
I knew that this would be, like,

our... the end of our story.

A huge part of it is I did
fall in love with someone else,

and that's so not where
I thought I was gonna be

today or in this experience at all.

And I have to figure out
what that means for me.

I still have to talk to Yoly today.

And I definitely still want to get
married and have kids, like, soon.

So... I don't know.

I should go figure out,
like, what my next step is.

Eight weeks ago, I issued the ultimatum,

and I thought I was so sure
of myself and of what I wanted.

And so I told Mal yes, while
being in love with somebody else.

And I'm still kind of...

left...

wondering if I made the
best decision for myself.

Oh God...

If Xander were to fight
for me, I don't know...

I don't know. I don't
know what I would say.

I kinda just want to
hear where she's at.

Hi.

You look beautiful.

Your haircut looks great.

Thank you.

How was your morning?

You know, I don't know.

Okay, calm down.

Hi.

Hi.

I just am, like...

I like that you told me to calm down.

- Why?
- Nervous.

About?

You know what.

I guess I kinda wanna first ask you...

Mm-hmm.

... where you're at with Vanessa.

So, this morning was really hard.

- You saw her this morning?
- Yeah.

Uh, it was really hard.

We both agreed that it wasn't, like,

the best thing for us to be together.

I have too much going on,

and a lot of it has to do
with, like, feelings for you.

So...

Hold me.

Definitely.

I want this.

I feel like neither one
of us expected this at all.

And it definitely took me by surprise.

And I think it's probably gonna take

a lot of our friends and
family by surprise too.

We have a very obvious connection.

And I realize that,
outside of this experience,

we're gonna have to work a lot
to get through, like, obstacles,

but I truly believe that you
and I could do that together.

I love the way that you make me feel.

I feel that we have
this crazy, stupid love

for each other, and I love it.

And it makes me feel incredible.

And I would really regret, like,
leaving here and this experience

if I didn't, like, make you
confident about how much I love you

and, like, how much I do want you.

Because I feel like you and
I could work out so well.

And could have a
beautiful life together.

Thank you.

You feel pretty confident about us?

Yeah.

Me too.

I know that my life
with you would be great.

Um...

Oh God.

Fuck.

Um...

Mal proposed this morning.

I said yes.

And, um... I wanted to take
the ring off before seeing you,

mainly because I didn't want it...

I just wanted to... I still
wasn't sure where you were at.

And it was really hard
to have to be like, "Yes."

"But I need you to know I'm still
very in love with somebody else,

and it doesn't make it go away."

"And it doesn't make us and everything

that we've gone through go away."

It's not easy to hear.

Do you feel confident in your choice?

I don't want to let you go.

And I don't know what to fucking do.

I just don't fucking know.

I love you.

This isn't a matter of not
loving you or not believing in us.

I very much, very much do, which
has made this so fucking difficult.

It's not from lack of love.

Everyone's been like,
"Pick love, pick yourself."

But I think picking myself
would be picking you.

And I'm so conflicted in that.

I feel it for you in my heart,
and I feel it for Mal in my head.

It's easier to know in
your, like, head about Mal

because you do have, like, the history.

I mean, it makes sense.

It was so not what I imagined
my engagement to be like.

- Yeah.
- But it's where I'm at.

- I don't want to let you go.
- I'm finding it hard to know what to say.

- I'm sorry.
- I know...

No, don't. You don't have
to. You 100% don't have to.

I feel like, at some point,

every part of me wanted
to be your "hell yes."

And what you just told me, like,
it doesn't change any of that.

You still feel that?

Ah, it sucks to lose you.

You know I love you.

I love you too.

I love you.

Want to walk off with me?

Let's just fucking walk off.

Okay.

I love you.

This is so fucking hard.

I know.

I don't want to leave without you.

I'm sorry.

You're perfect. You know that?

You know that.

All I can think to say is that,

if love were enough, I
would 100% be by your side.

There's just, like, a
different sense of loyalty

that I think I'm being drawn to.

Mm-hmm.

- See it through.
- It's... I have to.

I trust you.

Thank you for that.

Of course. I mean it.

I know you do.

I know you do.

I don't want this shit.

I'm not in love with Mal the
same way I'm in love with Xander.

Mal. Yoly chose Mal.

Why do I feel like I'm
walking away from my love?

I feel like shit.

I'm not sure if I'll
see Yoly again. Maybe.

Do you want to see Yoly again?

I mean, yeah.

Xander.

What?

I'm sorry.

It's going to be okay.

Do you think Yoly made a mistake today?

No.

- I love you.
- I love you.

I love you too.

I think you guys got enough.

I think you guys got enough.

It's the morning of the big decision,

and I am very nervous.

It's hitting me how real
everything is becoming.

This relationship with Rae
is more than I could ask for.

It's all I really want.

I'm remembering all of the good times.

I'm remembering so many
moments that we've had together,

and they've been beautiful.

But I feel proud of myself
for everything I've done here.

I don't regret this experience.

I don't regret any of the tough moments,

and I certainly don't
regret the good ones.

Regardless of what the outcome is,

I will not wish I did
anything different.

I always wait last
minute to make a decision,

and here I am, the day of.

I'm making one of the
biggest decisions in my life,

and I don't know how
it'll pan out later today.

I've been thinking about it all
morning. It's just churning in my head.

Why was I in this
relationship for three years?

Why have I been envisioning
a life with Lexi?

But I'm like, "Oh fuck. It takes
a lot of work to be in a marriage."

I don't know if I'm ready to do that.

I know it'll be different
when I see Lexi face-to-face

instead of staring at a Polaroid.

I'm really hoping that today
brings me some magical clarity.

I'm still a little nervous.

I don't know what the
words are gonna be.

I am ready to make the final decision.

I'm scared that she's not ready
to make the final decision for me.

This is the type of relationship
you think is going to become forever.

What happens if it ends?

And it really can end here.

This could be the first moment
of the rest of your life,

or it could be the last
moment of Rae and Lexi.

I have to be ready to
walk out of here alone.

Two months ago, I
issued Rae the ultimatum

because, for better or for worse,

good or bad, I was ready to marry her.

But there's been a lot
of crazy moments here

that have made me
question why I came here.

I'm overwhelmed with everything
that we have together.

Rae's been my home, my safety,
my partner, my best friend.

Being on the other side of that storm

and seeing this incredible rainbow,

that's what I want.

Knowing someone is the one
is a hard question for me.

I don't know if I'm
supposed to know or when,

or if it's supposed to
be some movie, like, snap,

where the picture just comes into focus.

But I think Lexi and I have
grown a lot in this experience.

We are the closest we've
ever been to the answer.

I don't know if I can ever
be 100% sure about anything.

But I know I've made a decision,

and that, for me, is my 100%.

- Hey, baby.
- Hi.

Hey.

Hey. Let's sit down.

Hi.

Hi.

- Let me just breathe for a second.
- Okay.

Gimme...

Give me, like, 30 more seconds.

You can have at least
60 if you need 'em.

I almost cried when I saw you.

As you know, like,

I'm, like, not the
most certain of people,

which obviously got us into
this whole mess to begin with.

Um...

Throughout this whole process,
I've kinda spiraled, right?

With the what-ifs,
and thinking of, like,

"Okay, how does this end?
What are the different things?"

But I think, for me, I
finally took a step back.

I was like, "Okay... "

"Within the three years we've
been together, what do I love?"

"And why do I envision
a future with you?"

And then it's like the little things.

Um... How you let me
pick out which oysters

I wanna eat and you eat the creepy ones.

And the creepy calamari.

How every time you come into the
house after you've made a steak,

you say the same exact fucking thing.

"I've done it again.
I've made the best steak."

"It's perfect."

Um, and it always is.

Just, like, our adventures,
you know, going skiing.

How you can look down a
black diamond and do it,

but you go at a snail's pace over a
box that's barely above the ground.

Um, you're just so, like, tenacious
and just go after what you want.

Sorry.

How you're just so kind to
everyone that crosses your path.

How you fiercely protect all the people

in your family, all your friends.

You make me just feel safe,
protected, and just loved.

Come here.

I just wanna grow with you. I wanna
keep growing our home together.

I want us to keep challenging each
other. We've done that a lot here.

You're just my sexy, smart,
funny, kind, thoughtful human.

I don't know. I just love you.

- I just love you.
- I love you too.

I'm just so thankful to have you,

and just thinking about losing
you was just not in the cards.

I choose you.

I just love you.

I love you too.

And, with that being said...

... I was kinda wondering...

Lexi,

will you marry me?

Yes.

- You can look at the ring.
- Yes.

Yes.

Can I put it on now?

Yeah, see if it...

Your dad really did all the things.

There's no one I would rather

spend the rest of my life with than you.

Holy shit.

All right, sit down.

Good deep breath?

So...

Oh no. You don't have to do that.

- My scoopy...
- Oh no.

My babe.

My forever love.

- Will you marry me?
- Of course.

Get your ass up.

Thank you.

All right.

Look, I'm shaking.

- I love you.
- I love you too.

Holy shit.

- Moving to Philly, baby.
- We are moving to Philly.

- I love you.
- I love you too.

We got the rings.

How do we do this? Do you go this way?

I give 'em one of these.

Oh hello, fiancée.

- Shall we, baby?
- We shall... fiancée.

- Fiancée...
- Has a nice ring to it.

- I can leave now. I got it.
- I think we can leave now.

- We can leave now. She can come.
- She's already forgot.

She's my fiancée.

She only wanted one thing,
and she's like, "Bye. Done."

- I love you.
- I love you too.

Forever.

This experience has been a
lot of ups and a lot of downs.

- A lot of walkouts.
- A lot of walk...

I'll call them pauses. A lot of pauses.

Everything led to this point,

and everything was definitely worth it.

We do have to face a
little bit of reality

of how you're gonna
handle telling your family.

Yeah.

"Surprise. I'm gay. Surprise."

This is the one I chose.

Yeah.

My... My lifetime partner.

Oh, you mean me? I
thought you meant the ring.

- Oh. No. You, babe.
- Oh, okay.

I'm feeling overwhelmed, excited.

Yoly's where she's at.

She's been nothing but
honest about how she feels.

Being in love with two
people is difficult.

And I intend to support my partner
like I have been... through this.

Fiancée.

Sorry. My fiancée.

Yoly had a choice, and she made that.

We're not looking back.

Regardless of the road, I
feel confident in our tools.

Regardless of what you said,
I knew I still had to tell you.

- I still had to propose to you.
- You did good.

Did I?

It was tough.

It does hurt to hear
that Yoly chose Mal.

I don't know where I'm gonna go
from here. I still wanna get married.

Over this past experience, I feel
like I've changed for the better.

I think I have a long way to go,

but I definitely feel better,
in my own skin and everything.

I did not expect this.

Hell no.

Confidently, I came in here saying,
"I don't think marriage is for me."

I've realized a lot during
this experience about myself,

and now marriage is an option for me.

I want that full love, and I
want to offer someone full love.

And you kind of have to just
take the fear along with that.

And I think that's
beautiful and wonderful.

And I'm ready to open my
heart up to a lot more in life.

Okay. You ready?

- Yeah, let's do it.
- Okay.

Lexi and I are gonna figure
out our life together.

We're gonna trek across the country.

Rae's got a job in Philly,

so we're gonna start our life there

for a little while, and I'm excited.

I'd recommend this experience.

This shit is hard. Don't
let anybody fool you.

You're literally feeling shit every day.

But if you can, like, live in that,

then I do think you
can learn a lot here.

Yeah, this is a success,

regardless of, like,
the emotional turmoil

I felt like I've gone through.

- I love you.
- I love you too.

"My fiancée."

- Does that sound sexy?
- Yeah.

I absolutely do not regret
giving Tiff the ultimatum,

because I know that Tiff
was gonna come through.

I don't think that we
would be here right now,

engaged, in this moment, if it
were not for this experience.

- Oh yeah.
- You have to feel uncomfortable to move.

Yeah.

And I think it took
all of that to lead me

right back to her as a better version.

You're my love.

I'm so happy.

You better be happy. Look at
the shit I had to go through.

- Look at the shit you put me through.
- I went through this too.

- But you put me through this.
- I deserve a gift.

So you... Your gift was your ring.

Sorry, this is us fighting
all the time, still.

Damn.

Get it together, babe.

I got it together. I proposed
to you. What do you mean?

I feel like my heart is
beating so hard for you, babe.

- That's good. Well, don't...
- Okay.

You can fall in love, but you
can't fall down these damn cliffs.

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