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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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["CITY ON FIRE" PLAYING]
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♪ Set the city on fire, light it up ♪
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[TIFF] You guys ready? Wait
up, wait up! You guys ready?
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And... go!
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♪ I can't get over
how you make me feel ♪
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♪ Am I dreaming or is this real? ♪
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Zoey, come here.
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Good girl.
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Oh, baby, she's gonna have to go.
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[ZOEY GRUMBLING]
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- She...
- [LAUGHS]
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She is sand.
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- "Have a puppy," they said.
- "It'll be fun," they said.
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[TIFF] Well, that's our youngest child.
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I think that we should
definitely have alone dates.
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Sometimes.
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Welcome to parent life
with the fur babies.
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I mean, I don't think a
human baby would do this,
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but, like, I don't ever
want to have babies again.
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[TIFF] Just, like, so much energy.
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I feel that tired parent
vibe going on right now.
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Babe, this is a lot of work.
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Have you thought about...
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Okay, I get it. Shylo and, like, Zoey
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sometimes annoys the fuck out of us.
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But, like, my son's already 16.
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He's, like, a teenager, and
he'll be annoying in the sense of,
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like, he might get an attitude
'cause he's a teenager, you know?
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He's never ever been
disrespectful towards me.
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- No, he's not disrespectful...
- Yeah.
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Hope he's not, but, like...
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Say we're at the beach, and he's
just having a really bad day.
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And we're having a bad
day with them, and then...
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It's an addition to our stress,
is what I'm trying to say.
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What's that gonna look like for us?
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I think sometimes he wants
your attention when I'm over,
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and so he'll come to the door a lot.
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You'll be like, "Hi. Can I help
you?" And he just sits there.
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The amount of patience you have
towards him is so admirable.
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I see how much you love him,
just by the way you talk to him.
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And how gentle you are with him.
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And I know sometimes
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he can't really absorb something
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that might seem pretty
obvious to people,
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but then you really take
your time to break it down
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and just kinda, like, let
him come to his own answer.
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You don't tell him how to be a kid.
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You tell him how to responsibly
make his own choices,
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to how he wants to live his life.
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Mildred's child, he's special needs.
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If I'm going to marry Mildred,
her son may have to live with us,
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um, even into his adulthood.
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My son, he's gonna be an adult
soon, and, you know, it's a lot.
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[TIFF] If we do get married
and do have a family together,
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I see adventure.
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I see being able to experience
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a lot of different
things in life, you know?
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That's what I wanna see, I'm
sure Josh'd want to be part of.
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[MILDRED] Yeah, definitely.
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I think that just, like, having...
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[CHUCKLES] I think that
just having this, um...
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- Oh God. Fuck, okay.
- [MILDRED] Zoe.
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Still want to move in?
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[LAUGHS]
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Oh my God.
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Gimme a kiss, babe.
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I love you.
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["WE ARE GOLDEN" PLAYING]
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♪ We are golden ♪
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♪ Yes, we are ♪
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♪ Hear the thunder, see the stars ♪
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[FRIEND] Cheers for a...
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- [SAM] Yes! Oh my gosh.
- [AUSSIE] Oh my gosh.
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- Reunited, I guess. I don't know.
- Reunited.
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- Hey. Oh my God.
- Oh my...
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- Thank you.
- [LAUGHTER]
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- How was your experience?
- [SAM] Yeah. I know how to speak up now.
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And I'm always there to just
enable, at the end of the day.
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- Aussie needs to handle this on her own.
- Stand up for me.
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Yeah. Stand her ground and, like,
actually put forth what you learned.
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- Yes.
- Yes.
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Even before coming to the experience,
Aussie doesn't communicate.
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Aussie is thinking in Aussie's head.
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When I get tired or even
stressed, I'm a little short.
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Okay.
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[SAM] When that's
happening, you don't listen.
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You're so in your head, you don't
actually know what's happening.
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You have bad energy.
Like, you have bad energy.
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- I don't have bad energy. I'm just...
- You don't think you do.
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Yeah, but the thing is, I don't.
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- You keep trying to defend yourself.
- Anyway, well...
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But there's no need for
that 'cause I'm talking.
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New version of Sam. This is the new Sam.
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I feel that you think that
it's all about my improvement.
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You do understand I have
things to work on too, right?
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I haven't seen it from
you, that you're different.
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- [SAM] Really?
- You haven't seen the new Sam?
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The new Sam.
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You're trying to tell me
I'm not showing up different?
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- [AUSSIE] No.
- You haven't seen any changes in me?
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- I'm saying...
- That's offensive.
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I haven't seen this new Sam
give me the benefit of the doubt,
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see my side of the story.
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You keep saying "new
Sam." So are you saying
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the new Sam doesn't listen to you?
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I'm saying the new Sam may be
overcompensating for her needs
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which were not met prior,
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and now you don't even see my side.
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- I don't know what you're asking.
- I liked how she's...
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I just want you to see my side.
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[SAM] Can you just entertain the idea
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that the reason you
don't like how I act now
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is because I'm not giving in
to all your needs every time?
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No, that's not it. That's bullshit.
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- And I'm paying attention to my needs?
- I'm sorry. That's bullshit.
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[AUSSIE] No, that's bullshit.
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I think about you all
the time. I put you first.
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But you're calling her
actual feelings bullshit?
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How would you feel if she
said that about your feelings?
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- She's saying that practically.
- I don't.
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- But she literally did not.
- [SAM] I've never said that. Ever.
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But you just... You literally
just said those words.
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[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
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I've shut down. I'm sorry.
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So this has been our main roadblock.
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This "new version of me"
is literally just like,
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"I'm not gonna keep
enabling you anymore."
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I'm going to actually speak up now,
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and that is what Aussie doesn't like.
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I'm cool to stay here.
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- You can see if Aussie's okay?
- Yeah.
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Oh my God.
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[TENSE MUSIC FADES OUT]
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- How are you doing?
- [AUSSIE] Not good.
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Maybe I'm not good
enough for her, you know?
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I'm not there yet. I'm trying.
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- What makes you think that you...
- But I... I'm trying.
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But the thing is, I'm trying, and
I cannot have my partner dismiss
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how I feel too.
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- Dismiss my side of the story too.
- Mm-hmm.
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I'm not where she's at, so, like...
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What about my version? Which was
like, "I didn't mean to make you mad."
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"I didn't mean to make you feel like
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I was being rude to you. I'm sorry."
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[FRUSTRATED SIGH]
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"There's two fucking people here.
You're not always fucking right."
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"Can you please be open-minded enough
that I am telling you the truth?"
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"My truth too."
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"I'm accepting your truth.
Why can't you accept my truth?"
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You know where it takes me back
to, is my fucking childhood.
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Mm-hmm.
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When I would be blamed for everything,
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and it was not even my fucking fault.
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[SOBBING]
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I didn't do shit.
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I fucking didn't do shit!
I fucking didn't do shit!
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- [SHOUTS] I fucking didn't do it!
- Come here.
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- I fucking didn't do it! I didn't do it.
- Come here.
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[AUSSIE SOBBING] I'm just
trying to be good enough.
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["HEARTACHE" BY JOE TAYLOR PLAYING]
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♪ At the end of it all ♪
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♪ It's just heartache ♪
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[AUSSIE] I'm trying so hard.
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I'm trying to be the...
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perfect... girlfriend,
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00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,879
perfect lover, perfect kid,
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perfect daughter, perfect co-worker,
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00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:30,468
perfect...
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everything.
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I'm still not good enough.
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♪ Now I build my walls ♪
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♪ Bury the pain ♪
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I thought she'd come in.
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- Maybe she needs fresh air.
- I thought she would too.
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Thank you.
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00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,660
[AUSSIE BREATHING DEEPLY]
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Sorry... [SIGHS]
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♪ At the end of it all ♪
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00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:06,587
♪ It's just heartache ♪
181
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,965
♪ Tried everything ♪
182
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,342
♪ For you to stay ♪
183
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:15,304
♪ But it was too late ♪
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00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,182
[DOGS BARKING]
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[SONG TRAILS OFF]
186
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Sometimes it's hard to
have conversations with you,
187
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,230
because I know how
they're gonna turn out.
188
00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:26,983
More so in terms of
just you listening to me,
189
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:29,735
and it doesn't become,
like, this fucking hot topic.
190
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:30,903
I've already said this.
191
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:33,531
You're very strong-willed.
You're very opinionated.
192
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:37,451
And sometimes... I feel
like I'm on the defense,
193
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:40,037
when I'm trying to tell
you how I'm feeling.
194
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:42,206
We don't have to feel the same way.
195
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,709
We can agree to disagree,
but listen and be like,
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00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:47,920
"Okay, well, that's not how
I feel. This is how I feel."
197
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:51,132
And not, like, making me feel
like I'm wrong or, like, dumb.
198
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:56,178
I think sometimes I can't get out
of my own head when we're in it.
199
00:09:56,262 --> 00:10:00,349
One-upping one another and
making you question something.
200
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,601
I don't want that.
201
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:02,810
I was in mock trial.
202
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:05,151
I picked a lane and I argued for it
203
00:10:05,152 --> 00:10:07,273
and in favor of it and consistently.
204
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,232
Nonstop.
205
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,360
- So...
- Sounds about right.
206
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:15,323
This is something I like about
you, when it's not, um... [CHUCKLES]
207
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:18,409
... geared toward this lil... lil gal.
208
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,288
In terms of, like, marriage,
209
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:23,706
I don't want the games.
210
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:27,668
I'm not in... I'm not... I'm not
single. I don't want to be single.
211
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:30,880
I don't wanna feel like I'm
single, like I'm dating around,
212
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:33,601
and like somebody has
a freaking area code
213
00:10:33,602 --> 00:10:35,509
in their phone number for somebody else.
214
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:36,510
I don't want that.
215
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,929
- [LAUGHS]
- I don't want that version of the game.
216
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,391
I don't think we really, like, do that.
217
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,436
- We don't.
- I don't think it's healthy to do that.
218
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:51,233
Like, I think we know of a couple
that does do a lot of petty gaminess.
219
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,027
Like, "How can I one-up this person?"
220
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:57,531
"How can I make this person,
like, want me," or, like, whatever.
221
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,700
If you're in a marriage, I
don't know if that's, like...
222
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:03,621
I would rather us make each
other want us in purposeful ways.
223
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:07,958
Like, I'd rather, our version
of, like, a "game," if you will,
224
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,870
is you coming home from work
225
00:11:09,871 --> 00:11:11,879
and me wearing something
sexy, cooking dinner.
226
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,756
If that's a game to us.
227
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:15,883
That'll be my game.
228
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:17,967
Okay.
229
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,012
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
230
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,640
- [BOTH LAUGHING]
- ["SHOW ME LOVE" BY CUT ONE PLAYS]
231
00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:27,019
♪ You gotta show me, show me love ♪
232
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:30,898
♪ Show me, show me love ♪
233
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:33,775
[SONG TRAILS OFF]
234
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:36,153
Um, what happened today...
235
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,698
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
236
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:41,992
... was realization that how
I'm feeling in that moment,
237
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,745
which is so much anger
and so much pain...
238
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,997
I said, "This feels
like when I was a kid."
239
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,668
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
240
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:02,555
[AUSSIE SNIFFLES]
241
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:05,266
I didn't know it was there.
242
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:07,560
- Like, I had no idea.
- I know. I know.
243
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:11,021
But that's what I feel
every time we fight, like...
244
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:14,108
But you know that I'm
there for you, right?
245
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,401
- Yes, I know.
- Yeah.
246
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:18,487
- You have so much support and love.
- [AUSSIE] I know.
247
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,907
- And you don't even see all of it.
- I don't even see it. [CHUCKLES, SNIFFS]
248
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:25,661
You're going through a lot
of, like, really heavy stuff.
249
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:26,662
Absolutely.
250
00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:30,750
- [SAM] For me, marriage is about growth.
- [AUSSIE] Me too.
251
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,941
I think that it wouldn't make any sense
252
00:12:32,942 --> 00:12:36,213
to hold unrealistic expectations of
253
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:38,382
"We're gonna come into this experience,
254
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,634
and we're gonna be
fully healed at the end."
255
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:43,304
But we need to communicate better.
256
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:45,848
I mean, I want to get there.
257
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,225
I love you.
258
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,854
Okay? I just don't feel
safe with you just yet, okay?
259
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,939
[SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUING]
260
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,572
Why do I feel some sort of a... ?
261
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:07,655
Because that... that is something
that is not easy for anybody to hear.
262
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:14,919
A lot of things that you
do come off as selfish.
263
00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:16,002
[AUSSIE] Mmm...
264
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,046
Right. [SNIFFS]
265
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,129
Right.
266
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:21,716
Yeah.
267
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:28,015
A lot of times, I literally
feel like I'm bending backwards
268
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,059
to help create a safe space for you.
269
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:35,189
- That freaking sucks.
- Mm-hmm.
270
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:38,192
So... moving forward, like,
271
00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:41,153
how do you see that
situation changing, though?
272
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:42,737
[AUSSIE] Mm-mmm.
273
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:50,079
I feel like that's not,
like, a hard thing to answer.
274
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:51,705
Like, it's obvious.
275
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:53,289
Yeah.
276
00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:56,460
Do you see how... Do
you hear it right now?
277
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,295
- How you're raising...
- I feel annoyed.
278
00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:59,379
- Yeah, why?
- Yeah.
279
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:02,633
- Why are you feeling annoyed?
- Why are you asking that dumb question?
280
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:05,094
You're being very
disrespectful to me right now.
281
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:06,303
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
282
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,973
You're speaking to me in
a very condescending tone.
283
00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:11,433
Okay, so why did you ask
me that question, then?
284
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,519
Why are you asking me that?
285
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:16,647
Your whole tone just changed
to being very condescending.
286
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:17,940
But that's why I'm asking.
287
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,901
You're raising your voice at me
and calling my questions dumb.
288
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:23,028
Why would you ask me that? Why?
289
00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:27,074
- Can you acknowledge that you're...
- Okay. I acknowledge. I'm sorry.
290
00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,493
This is one of these moments
where you're being rude.
291
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:32,580
Okay, but I feel like you're
being rude to me by asking that...
292
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,415
- I'm not being rude to you.
- Sure.
293
00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:35,791
I'm just saying...
294
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:37,960
[AUSSIE] Oi.
295
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,045
You're not in listening mode right now.
296
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,715
Because you're telling me
that I did something wrong.
297
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,466
- Like, no, I didn't.
- What'd I do?
298
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,778
Okay. So we're having the same issue
299
00:14:46,779 --> 00:14:48,554
where you're feeling
like I'm telling you
300
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:51,432
you did something wrong,
but I didn't say anything.
301
00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:52,516
All right.
302
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:54,268
I'm listening to you.
303
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:57,146
Can you, like, be in a
less defensive position
304
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,690
where I feel like you're
actually listening to me?
305
00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:02,736
Do you see the question you
asked made me feel the way I did?
306
00:15:02,737 --> 00:15:05,195
- Do you see that too?
- I didn't make you feel any way.
307
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:06,864
All right. Whatever.
308
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:10,200
- I didn't intend to make you feel any way.
- Okay. You're right. I know.
309
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,285
I'm good.
310
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:15,998
Okay, but let's not just blankly use
that "I'm good" statement, like...
311
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:17,625
I don't. I... I'm good.
312
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:19,919
What do you want me to do, mate?
313
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,339
You're starting to act
like an ass right now.
314
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,841
You started talking to
me in a very rude manner.
315
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,217
And you called me "mate"?
316
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,302
Okay.
317
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:29,845
I don't know.
318
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:30,930
Mate.
319
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,515
Why are you calling me
"mate" all of a sudden?
320
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:34,600
I don't know.
321
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:37,978
Can we... Are we done?
322
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,898
[SAM] So now you're just
gonna walk away? Like...
323
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:44,693
Yeah, I'm... I don't know. I don't
wanna talk about this shit anymore.
324
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,490
It's... Can I... Are we done?
325
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:54,078
[SAM] Are you really just
walking away from me right now?
326
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,538
[AUSSIE] Just... you know, you
haven't done anything wrong.
327
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:57,790
Just let me be.
328
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,836
I don't want to talk about this anymore.
329
00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:08,759
You know what? I can tell
you, with certainty...
330
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:09,760
[AUSSIE] Mm-hmm.
331
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,720
... this is not what
I want in a marriage.
332
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:12,805
Okay.
333
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:14,515
That's fine.
334
00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:16,475
["THE LOVE THAT WE SEEK" PLAYS]
335
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:18,811
Apparently, I'm an ass
right now, so let me leave.
336
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,771
Yeah, you absolutely are.
337
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:24,608
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
338
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:29,196
♪ Is the road too long? ♪
339
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:31,281
[SORROWFUL BALLAD PLAYING]
340
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:37,997
♪ Do you feel like your hope is gone? ♪
341
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:54,722
♪ Is the night too dark? ♪
342
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:55,805
[AUSSIE] Sam...
343
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,352
She's been my rock, you know?
344
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:05,357
[TEARFULLY] When Sam
expressed that she was hurt,
345
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,235
she was trying her best.
346
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:10,029
I could see that. I know her.
347
00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:14,116
I came on the experience...
348
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:19,455
for Sam and I's relationship.
349
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:28,839
And we both made a commitment to
fully immerse ourselves in this.
350
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:31,050
If she's telling you
this is what she needs...
351
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,847
and you're waiting because of
your insecurities and your fears?
352
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,142
Because of past... past hurts?
353
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,561
You're gonna lose that person that...
354
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,401
that means the world to you.
355
00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:53,572
So, I'm getting very clear on that.
356
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,701
That I... I don't want
to lose the person...
357
00:17:58,911 --> 00:17:59,911
[SNIFFLES]
358
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,082
... that I know is the one.
359
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,541
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
360
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:10,625
♪ Do we have the strength
to believe in it? ♪
361
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:17,304
♪ Where is the love that we seek? ♪
362
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:19,681
[AUSSIE] I'm sorry.
363
00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:26,188
♪ Where is the truth to believe in? ♪
364
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:32,111
- ["CELEBRATE THE FEELING" PLAYING]
- ♪ Be you, do you, for you ♪
365
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:35,030
♪ Act like a lady ♪
366
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,950
♪ Think like a boss, like a boss, yeah ♪
367
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:40,410
[VANESSA] Papa, Papa.
368
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,412
That's my future. I'm
gonna be a handsome man.
369
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:43,747
- [MARK] Hey, guys!
- Hi.
370
00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:45,999
- Great to see you.
- Good to see you.
371
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,751
- You look so good.
- You look so good.
372
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,128
- Oh, thanks.
- Welcome.
373
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,004
Haven't seen you guys in a while.
374
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,509
So you guys have been living
back with each other for...
375
00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:56,885
- Two weeks now.
- Two weeks. Yeah.
376
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,929
[XANDER] We've gone
through a lot of stuff
377
00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:01,390
I feel that we have
not talked about before.
378
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,686
And I don't know, like, it's hard.
379
00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:07,104
Yeah, so...
380
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:11,150
- Yeah. So you met Rae, my trial wife.
- [MARK] Mm-hmm. Yes.
381
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:13,532
I think I finally came to the conclusion
382
00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:15,362
that I do want to marry someone
383
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:17,156
and have a kid with someone
384
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,366
and raising them and
having that connection.
385
00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:20,826
And I do really love you.
386
00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:23,412
And I do see a future with us.
387
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:27,124
So it's been really hard that that's
how I came out of my trial marriage.
388
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:31,295
- And then to be thrown into... this.
- Yeah.
389
00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:33,839
A month ago, I thought I
was gonna come into this
390
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:36,341
and be like, "Now let's
figure some stuff out."
391
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:40,053
- And I have been, like, super guarded.
- Guarded with me, not with Yoly.
392
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,556
Oh yeah, sorry. Yeah, I've
been guarded with Vanessa.
393
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:45,767
Once we started living together,
there were so many things in my head.
394
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,061
Like, it just felt so different.
395
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,345
I still am trying to place,
396
00:19:49,346 --> 00:19:52,543
like, what that means
for us and for our future.
397
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,985
The thing is, we do
love each other so much,
398
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:57,237
and we do care about each other so much.
399
00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,616
But then I was with my
trial marriage partner,
400
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:03,410
and she also is, like,
ready to get married
401
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:05,120
and have kids and everything.
402
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,663
[TENSE MUSIC BUILDS SLOWLY]
403
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:10,500
It was easy and natural, and
one of the biggest things was
404
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:13,378
that Yoly kept asking me,
"What does Xander need?"
405
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,757
And I feel like I've never
been asked that before, ever.
406
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,508
Like, that's something I needed.
407
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:22,179
I'm not someone to just, like,
pour my heart out right away, right?
408
00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:23,972
It did mean a lot that I was like,
409
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:27,059
"Okay. I feel I trust this
girl enough to tell her things,"
410
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:28,769
and she was telling me stuff.
411
00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:30,771
I think we learned a
lot from each other.
412
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:33,317
I think I learned a
lot about myself also.
413
00:20:33,318 --> 00:20:35,651
Everything's just
been turned around now.
414
00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:40,364
That's a lot for you to process there.
415
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:41,447
- I know.
- [MARK] Wow.
416
00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:44,826
The perspective of coming here was
417
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,079
Xander wanted to get
married, and you didn't.
418
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,901
After you've been through this,
419
00:20:49,902 --> 00:20:51,833
you wanna get married.
That's what you're saying.
420
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,126
Yeah.
421
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:57,214
It's undeniable that a part of that
is you don't want to lose Xander.
422
00:20:57,297 --> 00:21:00,418
You'd be willing to maybe do something
423
00:21:00,419 --> 00:21:01,419
that you wouldn't have done before
424
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,637
because of that fear of loss.
425
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:04,888
- Right?
- There's a part.
426
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,599
- But that's not dominant...
- No, it has to be there.
427
00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:09,830
I'll tell you, I've
been a victim of this
428
00:21:09,831 --> 00:21:12,688
where someone is pulling away from you,
429
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:15,440
and you want to win them back...
430
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,818
to win them back because
you want to be chosen, right?
431
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:22,447
But I know, looking back at myself,
in one particular relationship
432
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:25,200
where I thought, "Oh my God. I
really love this person. I have... "
433
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,963
Afterwards, I look back, and I thought,
434
00:21:26,964 --> 00:21:29,246
"That was totally my ego kicking in."
435
00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:30,414
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
436
00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:32,666
Certainly, I guess what I'm hearing is
437
00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:36,044
Xander progressed more
with, like, a self-analysis
438
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,338
and really trying to figure out,
439
00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:40,674
"What do I want? And
what's gonna make me happy?"
440
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:42,509
- Yeah.
- Um, so...
441
00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:43,927
- I disagree with that.
- Okay.
442
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,846
I feel like I did that just the same.
443
00:21:45,929 --> 00:21:48,265
Okay. Um...
444
00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:53,186
Just because I didn't... love someone
and have sex with them a lot...
445
00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:55,147
- That didn't need to happen.
- Okay.
446
00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,525
My heart's never broken like this.
447
00:21:58,608 --> 00:22:00,068
[DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUING]
448
00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:06,742
♪ When it comes crashing down ♪
449
00:22:10,746 --> 00:22:11,747
[SONG TRAILS OFF]
450
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:13,623
So what's going on?
451
00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:16,418
I don't know how much Mal
told you about the process,
452
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:19,379
who I ended up doing
my trial marriage with.
453
00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:21,465
At first I was like,
"This is cool, cute."
454
00:22:21,548 --> 00:22:23,342
Like, we'll grow, I figured.
455
00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,177
After a week with Xander,
456
00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:27,679
I was just kind of like, "Oh shit."
457
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,348
What is the "oh shit" part?
458
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:32,100
The "oh shit" was me
falling in love with Xander.
459
00:22:34,102 --> 00:22:36,980
- And... feeling a connection there.
- What?
460
00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:38,148
[YOLY] Mm-hmm.
461
00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:43,820
- [ALICIA] I'm confused.
- What's confusing?
462
00:22:43,904 --> 00:22:45,739
- This is your person.
- [YOLY] I came...
463
00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:48,450
This is a lot. I'm in shock.
I don't know what to say.
464
00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,035
I know.
465
00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:52,079
It is a lot.
466
00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:54,872
How do you feel?
467
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,709
Um...
468
00:22:57,793 --> 00:22:58,835
I mean... I just...
469
00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:01,213
Such a generalized
question, but, like...
470
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,049
That wasn't the plan.
A little bamboozled.
471
00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:06,218
- [ALICIA] It doesn't sound real.
- [MAL] Right.
472
00:23:06,301 --> 00:23:08,929
I'm sitting here with
you guys, and I'm like...
473
00:23:10,305 --> 00:23:12,891
It never made me feel
like I love Mal any less.
474
00:23:12,974 --> 00:23:14,893
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no...
475
00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:16,937
Yep.
476
00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:21,483
So... So what does that mean, Yoly?
477
00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:24,611
What does that mean for...
How do you feel about Mal?
478
00:23:24,694 --> 00:23:25,904
[YOLY] I love Mal so much.
479
00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:29,699
She's a best friend.
She is kin to me. She...
480
00:23:29,783 --> 00:23:31,743
The connection here is untouched.
481
00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:33,995
To me, at least. Beyond.
482
00:23:34,496 --> 00:23:38,583
But, when I think about
solidifying my future, I worry.
483
00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:41,503
And this person has that checked off.
484
00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:43,630
You're saying you...
kinda love them both.
485
00:23:45,048 --> 00:23:47,926
How does three weeks
measure up to three years?
486
00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:52,556
It's... hard for me to say.
487
00:23:52,639 --> 00:23:54,850
I didn't realize I was so
terrible in three years.
488
00:23:54,933 --> 00:23:56,393
[YOLY] Not saying you're terrible.
489
00:23:56,476 --> 00:23:59,104
If it was just me, if I didn't
want children, no problem.
490
00:23:59,187 --> 00:24:02,065
I can deal with her messiness. I
can deal with her inconsistency,
491
00:24:02,149 --> 00:24:03,817
with being annoyed, 'cause it's just me.
492
00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:08,780
But when I think about... having
children, that's what's fucked me up.
493
00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:10,323
I... [CHUCKLING SCOFF]
494
00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:14,244
- Are you a godmother to any children?
- No.
495
00:24:14,244 --> 00:24:16,496
I... Multiple people have
asked me to be their godparent.
496
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:17,580
And that's beautiful.
497
00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:19,624
[MAL] Because I do show up responsible.
498
00:24:19,708 --> 00:24:21,401
As a person that can be a great mother.
499
00:24:21,402 --> 00:24:23,712
And they all affirm me of that often.
500
00:24:23,795 --> 00:24:26,965
So, when you tell me you're unsure
of the type of parent I could be,
501
00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:28,049
I don't understand you.
502
00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:30,844
So, I feel like, what is it,
actually? It can't be just that.
503
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,514
I'm 34. I don't have many viable years.
504
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:38,310
And if this person's not ready, then
let me find somebody who's ready.
505
00:24:41,062 --> 00:24:42,772
Are you also confident that
506
00:24:42,856 --> 00:24:46,651
this Xander person...
is gonna give you that?
507
00:24:47,527 --> 00:24:50,697
[YOLY] In these three weeks, we
had talks about what we would do,
508
00:24:50,780 --> 00:24:52,824
how we would handle it. Finances...
509
00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:56,244
She is on the right kind of
insurance that would cover.
510
00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:57,496
She also has money aside
511
00:24:57,497 --> 00:25:01,082
that would cover any kind
of, like, outside expenses.
512
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:03,168
- And she's...
- You saw that account?
513
00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:06,004
You have seen her finances for this?
514
00:25:06,087 --> 00:25:08,465
You guys have talked
that deeply about this?
515
00:25:09,216 --> 00:25:10,675
First time hearing this.
516
00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:15,138
Makes much more sense as
to why you're so in love.
517
00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:17,265
'Cause I was confused, and now I'm not.
518
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,476
Finances. This changes the game.
519
00:25:19,559 --> 00:25:23,396
Mal, to be completely
clear, I'm not judging you
520
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:24,625
based on your fucking bank account.
521
00:25:24,626 --> 00:25:27,901
But, like, IVF is a
very real possibility.
522
00:25:27,984 --> 00:25:29,444
Have I not shown up that way?
523
00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,196
[YOLY] Are you starting to save for it?
524
00:25:31,279 --> 00:25:32,322
Yes.
525
00:25:32,405 --> 00:25:34,574
You're not doing that.
You have not done that.
526
00:25:36,451 --> 00:25:38,203
Okay. Okay.
527
00:25:39,746 --> 00:25:42,624
Yo, Yoly, I'm trippin'. I'm
really trippin' right now.
528
00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,167
Okay. Goodbye.
529
00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:46,002
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
530
00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:47,837
[YOLY GRUNTS SOFTLY]
531
00:25:51,132 --> 00:25:52,217
No...
532
00:25:53,009 --> 00:25:55,053
This situation is just fucked up.
533
00:25:55,136 --> 00:25:56,179
Trash.
534
00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:58,473
- Complete trash.
- It's trash.
535
00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:00,100
Sometimes love is not enough.
536
00:26:01,184 --> 00:26:03,562
And Yoly is kinda saying that.
537
00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:04,854
"Love is not enough."
538
00:26:04,938 --> 00:26:06,606
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC FADES OUT]
539
00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:12,862
[SUCKS TEETH] If I proposed,
would you still approve?
540
00:26:17,033 --> 00:26:19,244
Never heard you pause
this long on a question.
541
00:26:19,327 --> 00:26:20,370
[WRY CHUCKLE]
542
00:26:26,459 --> 00:26:28,044
What is best for Mal?
543
00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:30,338
["WHO CALLS IT LOVE" PLAYING]
544
00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:32,632
♪ Who calls it love? ♪
545
00:26:32,716 --> 00:26:34,217
♪ Who calls it love? ♪
546
00:26:34,301 --> 00:26:37,345
♪ That leaves us all in pain ♪
547
00:26:38,513 --> 00:26:40,682
♪ Who calls it love? ♪
548
00:26:40,765 --> 00:26:42,392
♪ Who calls it love... ♪
549
00:26:42,475 --> 00:26:44,227
Hi, Zoey.
550
00:26:45,645 --> 00:26:48,356
Today is the last night
that we're spending together,
551
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:52,819
so I just want to stay in and cuddle
and, like, talk to you about life.
552
00:26:55,697 --> 00:26:57,855
Before me coming into this experience,
553
00:26:57,856 --> 00:26:59,868
I wasn't deeply thinking about marriage,
554
00:26:59,951 --> 00:27:03,393
and all of a sudden, now
I actually am thinking
555
00:27:03,394 --> 00:27:04,394
about marriage with you.
556
00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:07,500
We both want the same things.
557
00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:10,503
Working together and, like,
getting to where we need to be next.
558
00:27:11,087 --> 00:27:13,878
That's something that I lived through,
559
00:27:13,879 --> 00:27:15,925
like, before, when I was married.
560
00:27:16,676 --> 00:27:20,055
- I learned so much from it, and I just...
- What did you learn from it?
561
00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:23,433
Looking back at it, I know that
I was not in love with my ex.
562
00:27:23,516 --> 00:27:25,018
I married her because I trusted her.
563
00:27:25,935 --> 00:27:28,730
- You married her because you trusted her?
- I did trust...
564
00:27:28,813 --> 00:27:31,399
You didn't marry her because
you were in love with her?
565
00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:33,818
That's not... Tiff. Yeah,
I'm not truly in love,
566
00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:37,322
but I do love them as a human,
as a person, as what we have.
567
00:27:37,405 --> 00:27:42,035
But, the fact is, you were actually
never in love with your ex-wife.
568
00:27:42,118 --> 00:27:43,703
- Mm-hmm.
- Yet you married her.
569
00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:45,163
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYS]
570
00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:47,485
That's very scary because
571
00:27:47,486 --> 00:27:50,251
I actually am thinking
about marriage with you.
572
00:27:51,252 --> 00:27:55,632
You telling me that you love me,
which I'm sure you did with her,
573
00:27:56,132 --> 00:28:00,428
and now I'm thinking in my head,
"What does that mean to me?"
574
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:03,640
I don't think people that marry
only marry for one reason, Tiff.
575
00:28:03,723 --> 00:28:07,519
We both really, strongly
wanted to have businesses,
576
00:28:07,602 --> 00:28:10,355
and we both looked at life
in the same direction. We...
577
00:28:10,438 --> 00:28:11,635
So you married your business partner?
578
00:28:11,636 --> 00:28:14,442
That's like a little red flag to me.
579
00:28:18,321 --> 00:28:21,908
I thought I loved her, in the
moment that I decided to marry her.
580
00:28:22,409 --> 00:28:27,497
We decided to go sign a paper and
go do what we thought marriage was.
581
00:28:27,580 --> 00:28:29,240
People were like, "You guys are crazy.
582
00:28:29,241 --> 00:28:31,126
This is fast. What if it doesn't work?"
583
00:28:31,209 --> 00:28:34,629
I didn't care about all that. I
wanted to do it because I wanted to.
584
00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:37,549
What you're saying right now
is... It's bullshit, Mildred.
585
00:28:37,632 --> 00:28:39,426
You go back and forth between,
586
00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:41,302
"I loved this person
but I wasn't in love.
587
00:28:41,303 --> 00:28:43,680
I didn't know what love meant."
588
00:28:43,763 --> 00:28:46,182
Your version of love
is all over the place.
589
00:28:46,766 --> 00:28:50,145
Do you really take marriage seriously?
590
00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:53,565
Because maybe you just want
these "ideas of marriage"
591
00:28:53,648 --> 00:28:55,692
more than you actually want the person.
592
00:28:56,526 --> 00:28:59,191
Do you think your son
deserves to have parents
593
00:28:59,192 --> 00:29:00,488
that are in love with each other?
594
00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:02,782
You'll never know, because
you don't have a son,
595
00:29:02,866 --> 00:29:04,743
and you're not a single
mother. And you...
596
00:29:04,826 --> 00:29:08,413
I know what it's like to be a child
with parents not loving each other.
597
00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:10,081
You know what it is to be the child...
598
00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:11,810
And that's why I want you solid with me
599
00:29:11,811 --> 00:29:14,461
to know when you say that you love me,
600
00:29:14,544 --> 00:29:16,087
I need to know how you define...
601
00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:18,757
That makes sense that you
want something solid now, Tiff,
602
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:23,219
but you are sitting here, defining
me by my actions in the past.
603
00:29:23,303 --> 00:29:26,890
You're sitting here,
defining my love for you
604
00:29:26,973 --> 00:29:29,350
with the love that I had for my ex-wife.
605
00:29:29,434 --> 00:29:32,520
But what I will not allow
you to do is to tell me that
606
00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:34,689
the same way I was
confused when I married
607
00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:36,274
is the same way I'm confused now.
608
00:29:36,357 --> 00:29:38,485
That I won't allow you to,
because I know what I feel.
609
00:29:39,235 --> 00:29:43,406
I see failed marriages
everywhere around me.
610
00:29:43,490 --> 00:29:46,409
I'm just like, "Why the fuck
would someone want to get married
611
00:29:46,493 --> 00:29:49,162
to someone that isn't in
love with them to begin with?"
612
00:29:49,746 --> 00:29:52,999
- ["THE GREATEST" PLAYING]
- ♪ I'm gonna break you, break you down ♪
613
00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:54,959
♪ Ah ya ♪
614
00:29:56,044 --> 00:29:59,380
♪ It's all or nothing, nothing now ♪
615
00:29:59,464 --> 00:30:02,383
I know that right now I'm
solid, and I know what I feel.
616
00:30:02,467 --> 00:30:05,512
And if that's something
that is not enough for you,
617
00:30:05,595 --> 00:30:08,431
maybe that means you're not
the person I need to marry.
618
00:30:09,474 --> 00:30:11,476
[SINGER VOCALIZING]
619
00:30:16,272 --> 00:30:17,816
[SONG ENDS]
620
00:30:18,441 --> 00:30:20,902
[AUSSIE] How do you feel about
it being our last night together?
621
00:30:20,985 --> 00:30:23,404
- I'm very independent.
- [AUSSIE] Yeah.
622
00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:27,408
[SAM] But obviously you're not
the only one with insecurities.
623
00:30:27,492 --> 00:30:31,204
- [AUSSIE] Mmm.
- I hate to say it, but I've had moments...
624
00:30:31,287 --> 00:30:35,041
Um, I physically felt
the wall that you put up.
625
00:30:35,124 --> 00:30:40,088
I physically saw a different
face on you, like...
626
00:30:40,171 --> 00:30:42,507
Those were some very lonely moments.
627
00:30:44,300 --> 00:30:48,680
This experience has highlighted
for me, I gotta be intentional.
628
00:30:49,931 --> 00:30:51,891
Every interaction, every emotion.
629
00:30:51,975 --> 00:30:53,935
Like, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
630
00:30:54,018 --> 00:30:56,187
Every moment in this experience matters.
631
00:30:56,980 --> 00:31:00,942
My ability to hear you when
you tell me of your needs,
632
00:31:01,025 --> 00:31:05,071
that is so tied to the root of all
the other issues I'm trying to solve.
633
00:31:05,154 --> 00:31:08,074
Like, unconditional love towards myself.
634
00:31:08,741 --> 00:31:11,050
If I could fix the root of the issue,
635
00:31:11,051 --> 00:31:14,080
then I think that,
when I have self-love,
636
00:31:14,163 --> 00:31:16,207
I'm able to love you. [CHUCKLES]
637
00:31:16,291 --> 00:31:17,333
Yeah.
638
00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:20,753
I'm actually embarrassed to...
639
00:31:20,837 --> 00:31:22,964
Um, for you...
640
00:31:23,047 --> 00:31:26,885
- For me?
- ... for you to see, like, to meet my family.
641
00:31:27,468 --> 00:31:29,387
- You're embarrassed?
- I'm embarrassed.
642
00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:30,470
Why?
643
00:31:30,471 --> 00:31:34,434
Because, like, they're... Like
my brother was trying to say,
644
00:31:34,517 --> 00:31:37,437
in a really nice way, they're
pretty close-minded people.
645
00:31:39,272 --> 00:31:40,750
Obviously the goal here
646
00:31:40,751 --> 00:31:43,902
is that we are hoping to get
engaged at the end of this.
647
00:31:44,694 --> 00:31:49,532
If this person sees me being my
full authentic self as a bad thing,
648
00:31:49,616 --> 00:31:52,118
then what are they doing in my life?
649
00:31:52,201 --> 00:31:56,372
We shouldn't be surrounded by people
who are trying to bring us down.
650
00:31:56,456 --> 00:31:59,292
We should be surrounded
by people who empower us
651
00:31:59,375 --> 00:32:02,795
and make us feel like we are
amazing and beautiful and strong.
652
00:32:02,879 --> 00:32:04,005
- All those things.
- Yeah.
653
00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:09,510
I would like to experience
654
00:32:09,594 --> 00:32:12,055
what it would be like to
grow up in a happy home.
655
00:32:12,138 --> 00:32:14,140
[SWEET, GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
656
00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:20,939
[AUSSIE CRYING SOFTLY]
657
00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:27,612
I really believe that, if it wasn't
for my experience with my grandma,
658
00:32:27,695 --> 00:32:29,405
I wouldn't know how to love.
659
00:32:29,489 --> 00:32:32,033
With everything I've been
through, I don't think I would.
660
00:32:32,116 --> 00:32:35,161
I would just be in pain, and I
would just not even know how to...
661
00:32:35,662 --> 00:32:37,038
And... [SIGHS]
662
00:32:37,121 --> 00:32:39,165
I told you before,
too, your brother too.
663
00:32:39,248 --> 00:32:41,250
- Ron.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
664
00:32:41,334 --> 00:32:46,005
He is a lot of how he is
because you raised him.
665
00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:47,548
[CHUCKLING] Yeah. [SNIFFS]
666
00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:48,632
Yeah.
667
00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:51,052
Thank you for that.
668
00:32:52,595 --> 00:32:54,931
But I don't regret anything.
669
00:32:55,014 --> 00:32:57,725
My mom did the best she
could with what she had.
670
00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:01,854
My dad, even my dad did the
best he could with what he had.
671
00:33:01,938 --> 00:33:03,606
- You know? So, um...
- Right. Right.
672
00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:09,362
And I know they did their best
because everyone's doing their best.
673
00:33:10,488 --> 00:33:11,531
In every moment.
674
00:33:11,614 --> 00:33:14,367
Yeah. Including you.
675
00:33:14,450 --> 00:33:16,077
Including me. [CHUCKLES]
676
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:18,079
- Yeah.
- You forget that one the most.
677
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:19,080
I do.
678
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:20,999
["HIGH TIDE" PLAYING]
679
00:33:21,082 --> 00:33:25,044
♪ In these times ♪
680
00:33:25,128 --> 00:33:28,631
♪ On these nights ♪
681
00:33:29,215 --> 00:33:33,386
♪ In the hard times ♪
682
00:33:33,469 --> 00:33:37,932
♪ We're all each other has
until the morning lights ♪
683
00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:40,643
♪ I don't wanna fall in love ♪
684
00:33:40,727 --> 00:33:46,524
♪ Listen to my heartbeat ♪
♪ Follow to the shoreline... ♪
685
00:33:46,607 --> 00:33:49,736
I would like our last night to be,
like, peaceful and full of love.
686
00:33:50,570 --> 00:33:51,988
- Sounds good.
- What do you want?
687
00:33:51,989 --> 00:33:52,989
Same.
688
00:33:52,989 --> 00:33:53,989
I want pizza.
689
00:33:56,451 --> 00:33:57,827
That's your sad girl food.
690
00:33:57,910 --> 00:33:58,911
[LAUGHS]
691
00:33:59,912 --> 00:34:01,164
Not you knowing me.
692
00:34:01,664 --> 00:34:03,041
[CHUCKLES] It is.
693
00:34:03,791 --> 00:34:05,418
But this isn't light.
694
00:34:05,918 --> 00:34:07,545
This isn't picking a restaurant.
695
00:34:07,628 --> 00:34:09,672
[SCOFFS] Like, this
is a big fucking deal.
696
00:34:10,173 --> 00:34:12,383
How do you think our
trial marriage has gone?
697
00:34:12,967 --> 00:34:14,927
It's a little bit of a blur. Um...
698
00:34:15,011 --> 00:34:16,846
Got to learn new things about you.
699
00:34:17,805 --> 00:34:20,308
- In a good way or bad way?
- [MAL] I don't know.
700
00:34:20,391 --> 00:34:23,352
It feels like home. Like,
you feel like home to me.
701
00:34:25,229 --> 00:34:27,899
And sometimes home is
an amazing place to be,
702
00:34:27,982 --> 00:34:29,442
and sometimes home just isn't.
703
00:34:29,525 --> 00:34:32,028
- [YOLY] Mm-hmm.
- But it's always still home.
704
00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:35,823
How do you think your
trial marriage went with me?
705
00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:40,578
Um... I think at first
it was super hard.
706
00:34:40,661 --> 00:34:43,122
It was hard and heart-wrenching
707
00:34:43,623 --> 00:34:47,710
for my own reasons of just
feeling, like, bad, guilty.
708
00:34:48,628 --> 00:34:51,798
And also kinda feeling mad at
you, but those feelings settled.
709
00:34:51,881 --> 00:34:54,217
You... You are amazing.
You've been showing up.
710
00:34:54,300 --> 00:34:56,552
Fucking incredible.
More than I can ask for.
711
00:34:56,636 --> 00:34:58,262
Like, more than I imagined.
712
00:34:58,346 --> 00:35:00,014
[GENTLE, AFFECTIONATE MUSIC PLAYING]
713
00:35:01,641 --> 00:35:04,227
I like who I've grown to be with you.
714
00:35:05,478 --> 00:35:06,521
Um...
715
00:35:06,604 --> 00:35:09,857
- That doesn't mean it's been easy.
- It's like that growth spurt I never had.
716
00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:12,610
I heard about everyone having
growing pains where they had...
717
00:35:12,693 --> 00:35:14,821
Your bones hurt, and you
grow an inch overnight.
718
00:35:14,904 --> 00:35:16,781
That's what it feels
like in here. Like...
719
00:35:17,281 --> 00:35:19,992
The growth spurt. Yeah,
that's a perfect analogy.
720
00:35:20,076 --> 00:35:22,745
- Growing pains and all that shit.
- Happened pretty quick.
721
00:35:22,829 --> 00:35:24,914
[MAL] This trial
marriage has been tough.
722
00:35:24,997 --> 00:35:26,833
I've shown up all the ways I could.
723
00:35:26,916 --> 00:35:29,460
I've, like, led with
love every single day.
724
00:35:29,544 --> 00:35:31,129
I'm not trying to pressure Yoly.
725
00:35:31,212 --> 00:35:32,922
I'm not trying to force her hand.
726
00:35:33,422 --> 00:35:36,592
But I can't help but think
that this could literally be
727
00:35:36,676 --> 00:35:38,594
my final night that I spend with Yoly.
728
00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:42,473
Like, forever.
729
00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:44,600
[YOLY] Do you want help?
730
00:35:47,270 --> 00:35:48,896
I spoke to your parents.
731
00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:50,314
About what?
732
00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:54,318
I asked for their blessing
in proposing to you.
733
00:35:55,862 --> 00:35:58,906
It was both of them, and I was
like... [INHALES] "Oh snap."
734
00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:00,840
I was like, "I wanna be honest.
735
00:36:00,841 --> 00:36:02,702
I don't know what your
daughter's gonna say."
736
00:36:02,785 --> 00:36:05,329
"But I want you guys to
know that I love her."
737
00:36:05,413 --> 00:36:08,624
"And I'm not just marrying
her. I'm marrying you guys too."
738
00:36:09,584 --> 00:36:11,252
- Were you scared?
- [MAL] Yes.
739
00:36:12,086 --> 00:36:14,547
Especially to speak to your father. Yes.
740
00:36:14,630 --> 00:36:17,008
What was nice was to hear them
be like, "You're family to us."
741
00:36:17,091 --> 00:36:18,968
And they were like, "That's so nice."
742
00:36:19,051 --> 00:36:21,888
"Of course you have our
blessing. That's not a question."
743
00:36:21,971 --> 00:36:23,681
"It's about time." Like...
744
00:36:24,765 --> 00:36:26,131
I'm proud of you because I know
745
00:36:26,132 --> 00:36:29,395
that must've been
nerve-racking, wrecking.
746
00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:32,940
And I'm sure you were nervous as fuck.
747
00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:35,376
And for you to stand up for a decision
748
00:36:35,377 --> 00:36:37,653
that you're about to make is huge.
749
00:36:37,737 --> 00:36:42,742
Family is number one for me, and
to see you honor my family before...
750
00:36:45,161 --> 00:36:47,914
trying to start creating
a family with me is... is
751
00:36:47,997 --> 00:36:50,833
what I wanted since we've
started this process.
752
00:36:52,585 --> 00:36:54,420
What I'm really proud about us
753
00:36:54,503 --> 00:36:59,508
is the way we are really dedicated
to figure things out together.
754
00:36:59,592 --> 00:37:01,010
I like doing life with you.
755
00:37:01,011 --> 00:37:04,722
Me too.
756
00:37:04,722 --> 00:37:08,100
Is there anything that's
making you question yourself?
757
00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:10,770
In moving forward? Okay.
758
00:37:10,853 --> 00:37:11,854
[MAL] Mm-mmm.
759
00:37:13,105 --> 00:37:16,651
- Which is really odd for me to be so sure.
- [YOLY] For you.
760
00:37:19,612 --> 00:37:20,696
Hey.
761
00:37:22,365 --> 00:37:23,866
You did a good job, babe.
762
00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:26,285
["IT'S IN MY HEART" PLAYING]
763
00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:29,580
♪ So I'll reach a little further ♪
764
00:37:31,457 --> 00:37:33,084
- [RAE] Wow.
- [LEXI] Super cute.
765
00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:35,211
Little waterfall for ya.
766
00:37:37,004 --> 00:37:40,341
Cheers to, any way you slice it,
767
00:37:41,842 --> 00:37:43,970
our last date night as girlfriends.
768
00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:46,722
- [RAE] Oh boy.
- Or whatever that means.
769
00:37:51,310 --> 00:37:52,311
[LEXI] Whoo.
770
00:37:53,896 --> 00:37:55,273
Do you remember that date
771
00:37:55,356 --> 00:38:00,069
where... I had, like,
handwritten out the menu?
772
00:38:00,152 --> 00:38:01,904
When you were really trying to woo me.
773
00:38:01,988 --> 00:38:03,447
Really was trying to woo you.
774
00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:06,284
Life with you has always just been good.
775
00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:11,580
I think I really was hopeful
that this experience would give us
776
00:38:11,664 --> 00:38:13,874
what we needed to take that next step.
777
00:38:14,458 --> 00:38:16,669
I do feel like it's always been you.
778
00:38:17,169 --> 00:38:19,005
I've never really wavered in that.
779
00:38:20,047 --> 00:38:21,215
I've always known.
780
00:38:24,677 --> 00:38:26,304
[RAE] Well, this is getting hot.
781
00:38:26,929 --> 00:38:30,141
[LEXI] Getting hot in here? You
gonna take off all your clothes?
782
00:38:30,224 --> 00:38:32,601
- I might take off some of my clothes.
- [LAUGHS]
783
00:38:33,227 --> 00:38:34,312
[LEXI] I really love you.
784
00:38:35,021 --> 00:38:36,022
[RAE] I know I love you.
785
00:38:36,605 --> 00:38:37,690
I know this.
786
00:38:37,773 --> 00:38:39,942
I love our three years.
787
00:38:41,527 --> 00:38:42,695
[EXHALES HEAVILY]
788
00:38:44,488 --> 00:38:47,074
Every time I talk about
this it makes me cry.
789
00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:49,118
[LEXI] I love you too.
790
00:38:49,702 --> 00:38:51,370
I don't wanna lose what we have.
791
00:38:51,871 --> 00:38:55,041
But, like, I need more
concrete answers right now.
792
00:38:56,208 --> 00:38:57,918
[RAE] I am still, like,
793
00:38:59,253 --> 00:39:00,713
going through, like,
794
00:39:01,213 --> 00:39:03,674
"What about this? What
about that?" You know me.
795
00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:07,094
- I know.
- [RAE] I think forever is hard for me.
796
00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:08,763
This is a big commitment.
797
00:39:09,263 --> 00:39:10,556
It's a weird situation.
798
00:39:10,639 --> 00:39:11,849
It is the ultimatum.
799
00:39:11,932 --> 00:39:14,060
Like, I feel back-against-the-wall,
800
00:39:14,143 --> 00:39:17,063
and it's either making
a decision or losing you.
801
00:39:18,731 --> 00:39:20,608
But there's, like, so many factors
802
00:39:20,691 --> 00:39:23,778
that kind of get in the
way or, like, block me
803
00:39:23,861 --> 00:39:26,864
or make me second-guess... things.
804
00:39:26,947 --> 00:39:29,116
You can talk about Vanessa. That's okay.
805
00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:33,537
Yeah? You have no secrets?
806
00:39:34,288 --> 00:39:35,539
No bodies in the closet?
807
00:39:38,125 --> 00:39:39,627
I already said it before.
808
00:39:40,795 --> 00:39:43,130
[LEXI] I'm just trying to, you know,
809
00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:47,551
give you the room to feel settled
in whatever decision you make.
810
00:39:50,805 --> 00:39:52,515
I've told you how I feel about it.
811
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:56,268
- This is weird.
- Yeah.
812
00:39:57,186 --> 00:39:59,605
You're gonna make the
decision that's right for you.
813
00:39:59,688 --> 00:40:01,732
I'm gonna make the one
that's right for me.
814
00:40:02,358 --> 00:40:04,360
["RUNAWAY" BY THE RIGS PLAYING]
815
00:40:05,111 --> 00:40:06,278
This is weird.
816
00:40:06,362 --> 00:40:11,700
♪ You saw my eyes but the
soul that they hide wasn't me ♪
817
00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:14,787
[SINGER VOCALIZING]
818
00:40:14,870 --> 00:40:17,790
♪ Like a runaway, runaway, ooh ♪
819
00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:21,377
♪ Like a runaway, runaway, ooh ♪
820
00:40:23,462 --> 00:40:25,131
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- [SONG FADES OUT]
821
00:40:25,214 --> 00:40:27,425
[VANESSA] Hot toddy. Love it.
822
00:40:28,134 --> 00:40:29,552
- [LAUGHS]
- It's funky.
823
00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:31,595
It's funky?
824
00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:33,389
[XANDER] It's definitely funky.
825
00:40:39,395 --> 00:40:42,356
It's so interesting because...
So many heavy conversations,
826
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,275
but you say "funky" the way you said it,
827
00:40:44,276 --> 00:40:46,110
and I'm like, "That's my Xander."
828
00:40:46,193 --> 00:40:47,361
I feel like I've lost you.
829
00:40:47,445 --> 00:40:50,114
Then I'm like, "There she
is." And I love those glimpses.
830
00:40:52,074 --> 00:40:54,827
This experience has changed me so much.
831
00:40:54,910 --> 00:40:57,788
To come into this experience
thinking I'm ready to get married,
832
00:40:57,872 --> 00:40:59,874
and then to be so confused
833
00:40:59,957 --> 00:41:02,835
and feeling like, "I don't
know who should be my partner,
834
00:41:02,918 --> 00:41:05,296
and I have feelings for two people."
835
00:41:12,386 --> 00:41:13,386
[CLEARS THROAT]
836
00:41:16,348 --> 00:41:19,185
Something I've been thinking
about a lot is my capacity to love
837
00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:24,106
and how that affected our
relationship for, like, four years.
838
00:41:24,773 --> 00:41:27,109
Like, I really feel like I didn't
839
00:41:27,943 --> 00:41:28,944
know...
840
00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:32,615
how to love.
841
00:41:34,283 --> 00:41:37,495
Like, I loved you, but
I didn't realize until...
842
00:41:39,872 --> 00:41:40,872
being here,
843
00:41:40,873 --> 00:41:43,167
like, how much I could love someone.
844
00:41:45,252 --> 00:41:48,088
So now, looking back, I realize that
845
00:41:48,172 --> 00:41:50,758
I didn't give you all
the love I had in me.
846
00:41:51,759 --> 00:41:52,968
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
847
00:42:03,020 --> 00:42:04,396
[XANDER] I see all of your change.
848
00:42:05,481 --> 00:42:08,400
I also always knew you did love me.
849
00:42:08,484 --> 00:42:10,361
I wouldn't have stayed if I didn't.
850
00:42:14,198 --> 00:42:15,908
[EXHALES SHAKILY]
851
00:42:17,743 --> 00:42:18,911
I'm not over this yet.
852
00:42:21,830 --> 00:42:23,832
[GENTLE, ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING]
853
00:42:28,587 --> 00:42:29,587
[MOUTHING] I love you.
854
00:42:32,299 --> 00:42:34,301
[GENTLE, ETHEREAL MUSIC BUILDS]
855
00:42:59,076 --> 00:43:00,202
[VANESSA] I love you.
856
00:43:00,286 --> 00:43:02,204
[XANDER] I love you so much more.
857
00:43:03,664 --> 00:43:05,666
[SOFT, SOULFUL POP SONG PLAYING]
858
00:43:11,964 --> 00:43:12,965
You're all packed up?
859
00:43:13,048 --> 00:43:14,633
Gonna say bye to Shylo.
860
00:43:15,134 --> 00:43:16,635
Bye, little baby.
861
00:43:20,431 --> 00:43:21,932
[LEXI] Decision day is coming,
862
00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:24,643
and there's a chance I could
lose the love of my life.
863
00:43:25,227 --> 00:43:27,187
I would love to just
take us away from here.
864
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:29,315
But I also know I need to be chosen.
865
00:43:29,398 --> 00:43:33,485
I don't know how the biggest parts
of my life would look without you.
866
00:43:33,569 --> 00:43:35,279
- ♪ Holdin' on ♪
- [RAE SNIFFS]
867
00:43:36,780 --> 00:43:39,450
[VANESSA] The unknown gets decided.
868
00:43:41,535 --> 00:43:44,705
I don't know if I'm
ready to face... that.
869
00:43:45,205 --> 00:43:48,584
- [XANDER] Mm-hmm.
- ♪ 'Cause I don't know how to lose you ♪
870
00:43:48,667 --> 00:43:50,502
Thank you for everything.
871
00:43:51,211 --> 00:43:52,755
You know it was worth it.
872
00:43:53,839 --> 00:43:54,965
Okay, bye.
873
00:43:56,425 --> 00:43:59,511
- [SIGHS DEEPLY]
- ♪ To breathe you in again ♪
874
00:43:59,595 --> 00:44:01,889
♪ Is all that I want ♪
875
00:44:04,767 --> 00:44:06,226
[MAL] We'll never be who we were.
876
00:44:06,310 --> 00:44:07,310
Mm-mmm.
877
00:44:07,311 --> 00:44:09,063
Whether we walk together or not.
878
00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:12,232
Haven't given up. I'm just
in a place where I'm like...
879
00:44:14,234 --> 00:44:16,779
"What else can I say?
Like, what else can I say?"
880
00:44:16,862 --> 00:44:18,656
Nobody tried harder than us.
881
00:44:19,907 --> 00:44:22,117
Nobody believed in us more than we did.
882
00:44:22,910 --> 00:44:25,245
I really don't have
words for how this feels.
883
00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:29,958
♪ I don't know how to leave here ♪
884
00:44:36,006 --> 00:44:38,008
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
885
00:44:41,428 --> 00:44:44,431
Our couples accepted the
ultimatum just two months ago
886
00:44:45,057 --> 00:44:49,061
and committed to experiencing two
visions of what marriage could be.
887
00:44:50,062 --> 00:44:52,272
All to find out, "Am I
really with the person
888
00:44:52,356 --> 00:44:54,608
that I could spend the
rest of my life with?"
889
00:44:54,692 --> 00:44:57,945
"Or is there someone else out
there who might be a better fit?"
890
00:44:58,028 --> 00:45:00,280
Who has found the one?
891
00:45:01,490 --> 00:45:02,783
Who will propose?
892
00:45:04,785 --> 00:45:06,203
Who will walk away alone?
893
00:45:08,163 --> 00:45:10,624
Now time is up on The Ultimatum.
894
00:45:12,084 --> 00:45:14,086
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PEAKS AND FADES OUT]
895
00:45:15,796 --> 00:45:17,798
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
896
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:23,721
I don't even know what I'm feeling.
897
00:45:23,804 --> 00:45:26,807
Confused? Um, overwhelmed?
898
00:45:26,890 --> 00:45:31,228
I can be leaving here engaged
to Mal, leave here with Xander,
899
00:45:31,311 --> 00:45:33,689
or I can leave alone.
900
00:45:35,399 --> 00:45:37,776
[MAL] This has been a
very trying experience.
901
00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:38,860
I'm feeling
902
00:45:39,903 --> 00:45:40,903
anxious.
903
00:45:41,947 --> 00:45:45,743
I mean, I felt better coming
in here than I do leaving.
904
00:45:45,826 --> 00:45:47,828
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
905
00:45:49,146 --> 00:45:50,164
[SNIFFLING]
906
00:45:50,164 --> 00:45:52,916
[YOLY] I'm feeling pulled
in two different directions.
907
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:57,629
I have... Mal, who I wanted
to marry coming in here.
908
00:45:57,713 --> 00:46:00,090
We have this history. We have our love.
909
00:46:00,174 --> 00:46:03,051
And, like, I think
that Mal wants to work
910
00:46:03,135 --> 00:46:06,305
and see this through the way she
has been the last three weeks.
911
00:46:06,972 --> 00:46:09,057
Then I've got Xander.
912
00:46:09,558 --> 00:46:11,852
We connect in so many fucking ways.
913
00:46:12,352 --> 00:46:14,772
We want the same things.
914
00:46:14,855 --> 00:46:17,441
We respect and love each
other the same kind of way...
915
00:46:18,567 --> 00:46:22,738
And who has said she's ready
to, like, do this thing with me.
916
00:46:22,821 --> 00:46:24,239
It's not so much I'm uncertain.
917
00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:27,075
I'm certain of what it would
look like with either one.
918
00:46:27,576 --> 00:46:30,204
I just don't know what
the fuck I'm gonna do.
919
00:46:31,205 --> 00:46:33,707
[MAL] I received the
ultimatum, and now it's time
920
00:46:33,791 --> 00:46:35,667
to decide what I'm gonna do.
921
00:46:37,169 --> 00:46:38,754
I don't even know.
922
00:46:38,837 --> 00:46:41,965
♪ I've been waiting for you ♪
923
00:46:50,557 --> 00:46:53,852
♪ I've been waiting for you ♪
924
00:46:54,394 --> 00:46:56,355
[SINGER VOCALIZING]
925
00:46:56,438 --> 00:46:58,774
♪ I've been waiting for ♪
926
00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:02,653
♪ You ♪
927
00:47:03,362 --> 00:47:04,665
[MAL] We came into this experience
928
00:47:04,666 --> 00:47:07,032
on two very opposite ends of the stick.
929
00:47:07,115 --> 00:47:09,493
I wasn't dragging my feet for no reason.
930
00:47:10,619 --> 00:47:14,081
But this experience has
revolutionized my idea of marriage.
931
00:47:14,164 --> 00:47:17,042
It's not about, "Do you guys
have enough savings to do that?"
932
00:47:17,125 --> 00:47:18,752
It's about Yoly and I.
933
00:47:23,549 --> 00:47:26,718
[YOLY] Issuing the ultimatum,
I have been forced to confront
934
00:47:26,802 --> 00:47:30,639
all the issues that I didn't
even know were pulling me back.
935
00:47:31,223 --> 00:47:33,392
My needs were not being met.
936
00:47:33,892 --> 00:47:36,436
But there's also a lot
of love and support.
937
00:47:40,816 --> 00:47:44,486
[MAL] I want Yoly to be happy. I
love her with everything I have.
938
00:47:44,570 --> 00:47:47,489
But she's expressed to me
she's in love with two people.
939
00:47:47,573 --> 00:47:49,324
So I am torn.
940
00:47:49,825 --> 00:47:52,995
I'm not nervous telling Yoly
how I feel at this point.
941
00:47:53,078 --> 00:47:55,150
I... I'm nervous this could be
942
00:47:55,151 --> 00:47:57,875
really the last time
that I have the chance.
943
00:47:57,958 --> 00:48:00,669
["HERE WE COME" PLAYING]
944
00:48:01,378 --> 00:48:05,090
[YOLY] My heart and my mind
are in two different places.
945
00:48:05,173 --> 00:48:08,802
I want it all. I want my
what-could-be life with Xander,
946
00:48:08,886 --> 00:48:11,930
and I want what my life
with Mal has been also.
947
00:48:13,807 --> 00:48:15,517
God, I'm gonna fucking vomit.
948
00:48:16,768 --> 00:48:20,188
Like, either way, I'm scared
of losing somebody who I love.
949
00:48:20,981 --> 00:48:23,108
♪ Here we come ♪
950
00:48:24,860 --> 00:48:26,695
♪ Here we come ♪
951
00:48:27,237 --> 00:48:29,948
I just don't know who I
want to spend my life with.
952
00:48:31,533 --> 00:48:33,535
♪ Here we come ♪
953
00:48:34,244 --> 00:48:35,662
♪ Here we come ♪
954
00:48:35,746 --> 00:48:37,915
[SONG FADES OUT]
955
00:48:40,459 --> 00:48:42,127
Oh God.
956
00:48:46,506 --> 00:48:47,591
Oh God.
957
00:48:48,550 --> 00:48:50,469
- You look good.
- Thank you.
958
00:48:50,969 --> 00:48:53,388
- You look great, yourself.
- Very good. Thank you.
959
00:48:54,389 --> 00:48:55,389
So...
960
00:48:56,642 --> 00:48:58,352
- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
- Um...
961
00:48:58,435 --> 00:49:00,103
Do you want to get closer? You good?
962
00:49:00,604 --> 00:49:02,981
- [SIGHS] I just don't know.
- Okay.
963
00:49:03,065 --> 00:49:05,233
- Here? I can get closer.
- No, you're fine.
964
00:49:05,317 --> 00:49:06,985
Whatever is comfortable for you.
965
00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:13,241
Um...
966
00:49:17,079 --> 00:49:19,373
This has been the hardest
thing I've ever had to do.
967
00:49:19,456 --> 00:49:22,209
And when I think about our
relationship in retrospect,
968
00:49:22,292 --> 00:49:24,461
I remember putting a wall up
969
00:49:25,003 --> 00:49:27,339
and closing behind and
making you chase me.
970
00:49:27,422 --> 00:49:30,092
I don't want to do that
anymore. I'm done doing that.
971
00:49:30,175 --> 00:49:31,843
[GENTLE, SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
972
00:49:31,927 --> 00:49:34,429
I think you deserve the world.
I've always thought that.
973
00:49:35,180 --> 00:49:37,891
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
974
00:49:47,484 --> 00:49:48,485
[MAL] Are you okay?
975
00:49:55,701 --> 00:49:56,701
[YOLY] Um...
976
00:49:57,953 --> 00:49:59,663
[CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES]
977
00:50:03,458 --> 00:50:04,543
What you said was beautiful.
978
00:50:06,169 --> 00:50:09,840
I, like, hear you and see you and
believe you in what you're saying.
979
00:50:12,092 --> 00:50:14,302
I want you to know I'm still
in love with somebody else.
980
00:50:14,386 --> 00:50:16,388
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
981
00:50:20,559 --> 00:50:21,852
I feel like I knew that.
982
00:50:23,603 --> 00:50:24,855
I haven't walked away.
983
00:50:24,938 --> 00:50:26,440
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
984
00:50:31,069 --> 00:50:32,279
I wrote you something.
985
00:50:36,742 --> 00:50:37,743
Um...
986
00:50:38,994 --> 00:50:40,245
I wrote, um...
987
00:50:44,374 --> 00:50:46,710
"You're my family. You're my teacher."
988
00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:49,087
"You're my best friend."
989
00:50:49,171 --> 00:50:52,466
"You challenge the toughest parts
of me, and you still love me."
990
00:50:53,091 --> 00:50:56,094
"You reflect all the best parts of
me I don't always see in myself."
991
00:50:57,679 --> 00:50:59,639
"The parts I don't
think I always deserve."
992
00:51:01,016 --> 00:51:04,144
"You're humble. You're
a fighter. You're loyal."
993
00:51:04,227 --> 00:51:06,271
"You're just the right amount of crazy."
994
00:51:07,939 --> 00:51:10,484
"It has been the sweetest
gift to watch you,
995
00:51:10,567 --> 00:51:13,779
to let alone love you, and even
a bigger honor to join you."
996
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:16,615
"I choose you, Yoly."
997
00:51:18,033 --> 00:51:20,786
"I promise to keep
choosing you and us, daily."
998
00:51:22,996 --> 00:51:25,457
"I knew it was you three
weeks into dating you."
999
00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:27,584
"Three years ago."
1000
00:51:29,461 --> 00:51:30,754
"It's always been you."
1001
00:51:30,837 --> 00:51:32,255
"I know it's you now."
1002
00:51:33,256 --> 00:51:34,966
"And if it's not now...
1003
00:51:35,050 --> 00:51:37,052
[DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS SLOWLY]
1004
00:51:38,220 --> 00:51:40,555
... I promise to come looking
for you in the next lifetime."
1005
00:51:44,309 --> 00:51:46,103
"But not without asking you... "
1006
00:51:47,312 --> 00:51:48,313
[GRUNTS SOFTLY]
1007
00:51:51,274 --> 00:51:52,818
"Will you do life with me?"
1008
00:51:54,653 --> 00:51:55,862
"And will you marry me?"
1009
00:51:58,198 --> 00:52:00,200
[DRAMATIC MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
1010
00:52:04,329 --> 00:52:05,705
[YOLY SNIFFLING]
1011
00:52:14,381 --> 00:52:16,550
♪ Dangerous games ♪
1012
00:52:16,633 --> 00:52:17,968
[DRAMATIC POP SONG PLAYS]
1013
00:52:18,051 --> 00:52:19,845
[TIFF] Whether I get
down on one knee or not
1014
00:52:19,928 --> 00:52:23,765
is going to alter the
course of my life forever.
1015
00:52:23,849 --> 00:52:25,642
♪ Dangerous games ♪
1016
00:52:25,725 --> 00:52:28,395
[LEXI] This could be the first
moment of the rest of your life,
1017
00:52:28,478 --> 00:52:32,023
or it could be the last
moment of Rae and Lexi.
1018
00:52:32,107 --> 00:52:35,235
[SAM] In our three weeks together,
1019
00:52:35,318 --> 00:52:38,363
there are just so many of
those moments of just, like...
1020
00:52:40,031 --> 00:52:41,366
you walking away.
1021
00:52:41,449 --> 00:52:42,450
Yeah.
1022
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:49,160
I don't know if Aussie is
ready to be what I need for me.
1023
00:52:50,792 --> 00:52:53,336
[SINGERS VOCALIZING]
1024
00:52:53,420 --> 00:52:55,630
[XANDER] I've had dreams
of proposing to her,
1025
00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:58,592
and I've had dreams of watching
her walk down the aisle.
1026
00:52:58,675 --> 00:53:02,345
I really cannot imagine
my life without her in it.
1027
00:53:02,429 --> 00:53:05,974
I am definitely risking
losing her forever.
1028
00:53:10,228 --> 00:53:12,522
♪ Dangerous games ♪
1029
00:53:13,064 --> 00:53:14,399
[YOLY SOBBING]
1030
00:53:14,482 --> 00:53:17,194
♪ I'm breaking all the rules ♪
1031
00:53:17,277 --> 00:53:19,404
♪ I'm playing it so cool ♪
1032
00:53:19,487 --> 00:53:22,949
♪ I'm playing it so cool, baby ♪
1033
00:53:23,033 --> 00:53:25,869
♪ I'm breaking all the rules ♪
1034
00:53:25,952 --> 00:53:28,413
♪ I'm playing it so cool ♪
1035
00:53:28,496 --> 00:53:32,000
♪ I'm playing it so cool, baby ♪
1036
00:53:32,500 --> 00:53:34,419
♪ 'Cause I'm never gonna ever stop ♪
1037
00:53:34,502 --> 00:53:37,422
♪ I'm always gonna shake it up ♪
1038
00:53:37,505 --> 00:53:40,425
♪ Always gonna shake it up ♪
1039
00:53:40,508 --> 00:53:42,427
[SONG TRAILS OFF]
1040
00:53:42,428 --> 00:53:47,428
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
81271
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