All language subtitles for Glenn.And.Micks.Celebrity.Intervention.S01E07.WEB.x264-NGP-CEsubs

Welcome to Glen and Nick's Celebrity
Intervention. This is the show where we

take a well -known celebrity and put
them through a few hoops, tell them some

home truths and not before time. To help
me do that, let's introduce you to my

co -host, Lawrence Mooney.

Thank you.

Lawrence, I've just got to ask straight
off the bat.

This is a big night for you because
you're on the other side of the

intervention. Yes.

How does it feel? This is unique
territory for me. It feels great to be

intervener. How's it going?

Well, it's a process, Mick.

One day at a time. One day at a time.
Well, I hope you've come on a good day.

Let's get straight into it. Now, before
we meet tonight's celebrity intervention

subject, there are other people, places
and things that need a good hard

intervention. Let's get straight into
it. Who needs one?

I'll tell you what, Elon Musk. Elon
Musk!

Doesn't he? Yes, he does.

Look, the Tesla fine.

But his surname, Musk, it's my favourite
lolly flavour.

And so, because I've got a great
imagination, I keep thinking, does he

willy like a musk stick?

And if he does, it's no longer my
favourite lolly flavour.

There you go. Someone had to say it.
What about the avatars from the Avatar

movie? Boo!

You're just a bunch of stuck -up smurfs.

On a zimp it. Get off the gear and get
cracking. Who else do you think? Oh,

sourdough bread.

Sourdough. No, I've had a gutful. If you
can't put a snag in you at Bunnings,

you're not bread. That's right.

You're a poor man's baguette. That's all
I've got to say. But what about dog

shows? What about some events the dogs
can enjoy?

Like, I don't know, licking your own
balls.

Getting the lipstick out.

You know what I'm saying? So much to
intervene against. What about this one?

Paper straws.

Thanks for ruining my smoothies. I can't
give a shit about the sea turtles. Give

me back some plastic.

What is the natural enemy of paper?

Water. That's why they don't put drinks
in paper bags.

One more to go.

Oh, oh boy. Pandas.

Pandas. Always talking about their
fertility.

They're only fertile for 10 minutes a
year. Come on, get some oysters into

crank up the Barry White and get down to
it. That's why you haven't got a style

named after you. There's dog style,
there's not panda style.

Panda style is this.

Someone has to come in and push their
bottom up and down. Come on, pandas!

I've worked up a sweat. We have indeed.

I think we're ready to go. Now, it's
time, as you may have realised, Glenn's

with us because, as always, he's out
hunting down tonight's celebrity

intervention subject.

And, as you know, he has to find them
and bring them back to the studio by

tricking them into it using a Kenny
Roos.

Let's cross out live and see what
Glenn's up to.

Over there is Jim Jeffries.

Let's see how we go.

Jim. Glenn.

Glenn Robbins.

G'day, mate.

Great to see you.

What are you doing?

Got an appointment.

Appointment for what?

My neck.

Oh, you've got a bad neck.

Cairo, long flight, bad neck. The old
cervical displacement, air pressure.

Cervical? I was an acupressurist back in
the 80s, worked in LA. Just follow my

fingers with your eyes. What are we
doing? Just trust me, follow my fingers

your eyes. You're feeling good, you're
feeling nice and relaxed. Trust me,

me. You're touching me, Glenn. Just
trust me now, and away you go.

Your C2 and your C3 are now back in
position, and I vouch for that.

You're doing a little bit more work. I
reckon you'd come back to my place. No.

Come back to my place. I've barely got
towels. I've got oils. I've got cups.

I've got needles.

Just pop in the back. Don't ask any
questions.

It's gone again.

Okay, just relax. Nice and easy. Pop it
in down there. What sort of pants are

you wearing?

Just denim.

Just normal jeans? Do they come off
easily?

stand -up this country's ever produced,
and let's be honest, there's a bit going

on that needs work.

Yeah, we've got to have a chat to him,
and he needs an intervention.

He does indeed.

Obviously, you've got to take them a
while to get back. It looked like a city

hotel, so... Oh, hang on, they're here
right now! Make it work!

Woo!

How you doing, Robert?

Hi, Jim. How are you? Thanks for coming.
You know... Please, sit down.

You know Glenn?

Yes.

How are you, Jim?

It's great to see you. I'm surprised.

We wish it was under better
circumstances because, obviously,

work to be done here tonight. Jim,
you're here because we love you, man.

We love you. We care. But I don't even
know you.

I've just met this one. I know you a
bit.

But we're the closest friends you have.

So, Jim, there's a bit to work through,
but I thought we'd start with the big

one, and let's get this out of the
system first. Straight off the bat, I

ask you this.

Why do you and your fans hate each other
so much?

What, me and my fans? Why do you and
your fans hate each other? It's a

of behaviour that's been going on for
some time, and I'm going to take you

many years to your time in Manchester,
which was the canary in the coal mine.

When this incident happened live on
stage, we should have tipped this as a

flag. Thank you.

It's pushing it inwards.

Where do you... Oh, hang on.

That's hard to watch.

Yeah, I find those memories hard,
actually.

I should point out, that's a traditional
welcome to country in Manchester.

There's nothing that wrong with that.
What are your memories of that?

Because you look like you were being
chased by a bee.

I was living in Manchester at the time.
I had somebody heckling. There was a

woman over there heckling, and I put her
down several times, and then I had a

closing line that I've used often, which
is, I'm going to leave you alone now,

like your dad did.

Anyway,

a guy over here had some issues with his
father that hadn't been resolved.

He was an Irishman, and I know this
because, He didn't punch me right away.

turns out he finished his drink.

So he sat for a little bit longer,
finished his drink, and then he ran up.

if you see the first bit of the footage,
I go, hang on, mate. I thought he was

looking for the bathroom. You know what
I mean? And then I get the punch to the

head. And then in my brain, I was
fighting back really good. But now

the footage.

I'm pretty sure I just cowered for most
of it. And then the lovely people of

Manchester came up and actually saved
me. Now, every time I go to Manchester,

think we saw four or five people. If I'm
in a bar in Manchester, someone will

come up to me and go, I was the guy who
came up and saved you. I bought about 40

pints in Manchester for all the
different people who saved me. I get

I go into the dressing room. The other
comic on is Michael McIntyre. Now,

neither me or Michael were anybody in
the industry back in 2006.

And Michael was watching the footage of
it happening on the TV in the dressing

room. And as he's watching it, he hears
me coming. I've got my black eye, and

I'm swearing in the hallway. He hears me
coming, so he changes the channel. And

I walk in, and he's just watching
Snooker.

And I come in the room, and he doesn't
even turn around. He just goes, how did

it go?

And I said, not good, Michael. I just
got punched in the head. And he went, no

one can follow me.

Something for me that is incredulous in
that story is that an Irishman who was

drunk resorted to violence.

The security caught him and they took
him backstage and then they said, oh, do

you want to press charges?

And I looked at the footage and I said,
I think I'll make more money out of the

footage.

Just lock him up for the night. But
thank God, this was before camera

Yeah, right. Because if there were other
angles, you would have saw the joke

that I said before and you probably
wouldn't be on my side.

Well, we're glad you're here and we're
glad you're talking about it. Someone

else who's here.

Of course, he's here tonight. The guy
from Manchester, he's in the crowd.

No. There he is.

No.

If I'm reading the body language.

It is him. Made up with your dad, mate?

Don't. Don't bite.

Don't bite. We're going to watch this as
the episode goes on. Maybe we can all

heal a little bit tonight. A little bit
together. We're going to go to a break.

Okay.

Welcome back to the next celebrity
intervention with our special guest, Jim

Jefferies. You did very well, Jim. You
seem to be confronting it head on. I

to improve.

You do want to improve.

There's a bit of improving to do. By the
way, in our research, we found out that

wasn't the first time you've been
punched on stage. Do you remember your

appearance on Vidiot?

Well, I punched on... Oh, Jeffrey threw
you off there.

You can get him after the show.

Yeah, get him now.

That's it, all right.

That was my friend Sebastian Bobois.

He was... Yeah, he was from the... I
haven't seen that footage since I was...

That was Dwayne McLean, the D -train,
was the other... Yeah.

Was the guest who played for the Sydney
Kings. I won so much shit on video. I

won a voucher of movie tickets to Hoyt.
Right. And I won a TV...

A video player. I went through several
episodes.

You carry over champ.

No, I lost the final episode. They were
going to give me a camcorder, like a big

thing like that.

It was brilliant. I was 14 years old.
Let's take a look at that little kid up

there. What happened to him?

What happened to that beautiful little
boy?

His teeth just became good on their own.

And you've got a little bowl cut.

Yeah, yeah.

Obviously, that was my favourite outfit.
I'm on TV. That must have been my best

top, a billabong jumper.

I was ready to go, no, that was
brilliant, Vidiot. I'll tell you about

right. So the first episode, you play
with kids from your school. They come

to the school, they audition you, and
then they go.

If you win, like, the Monday through the
Thursday, on the Thursday, you get to

play with the other kids that have won
from the other school.

And none of the girls at my school liked
me because they knew me.

Now, these girls that were on the next
episode, right, we were having fun.

I had a what a movie ticket.

I'd won all these movie tickets. So I
was like, oh, I can't go to the movies

myself. So I took one of them to
Strictly Ballroom.

And we snogged all day. And there was
Strictly Ballroom. The rest is history.

Now, that's another point of
intervention here. But we want to know.

We were discussing this off. Are you a
bit of a fraud?

I'm going to take that with a grain of
incense.

Well, what I mean is you present
yourself as an edgy young comic and

the edge and angsty, but your background
is quite different. Did you or did you

not come up through WAPA, which is a
school for theatre, musical theatre...

opera. And opera.

Is that where you come from? I will have
you know that Hugh Jackman went to

Whopper and he's bloody Wolverine. So
stop trying to make me seem like some

of wimp. If it's good enough for
Wolverine, it's good enough. What was

forte? None of it. I did singing and
dancing. I wasn't good at school. I

school. The only way I was going to get
to university is through auditioning. So

I went and sang a song in front of them.
It was like an Australian idol.

You go and sing in front of a few
people, then you do a monologue, and

you're off at WAPA, right? And it was
great. It was over in Western Australia.

Cheap to live there back then. And it
was just like being in fame.

Every day you would be singing and
dancing.

Let's have a look at you in action.
There we go.

Yeah,

it looks very highbrow.

Here you are. I think this is your first
invitation to the Met Gala.

What are you doing there?

What's that?

That's actually, that was an opera.
That's a professional production for the

Australian Opera of Romeo and Juliet.
Oh, wow.

And that was, I assume, a masquerade
party.

Did you make your own costume?

And did you mind looking like a fuckwit?

What have we got here?

That's after the interval. That's a
different thing.

Looks like you're about to tie someone
to a railway track.

I'll tell you what we don't have there,
a real moustache.

I was about 18 there. That hadn't really
grown in.

We've got another photo here. Can we
have a quick look at this?

Oh, this is the first time you punched a
cone?

You look like John Mayer's nerdy twin
brother.

Lawrence, you went to drama school.
Yeah, I went to the National Theatre

School, did three years of movement. I
was actually quite a good dancer, and

of my signature moves, I perfected this
at the Manhattan in Ringwood. It's

called... It's called... We're all going
there afterwards.

We've got a minibus outside.

It's called Double Trouble.

People actually understand the joke you
made there. I didn't understand it.

I can tell you what, it never worked.

Can I ask you, you had some killer moves
back in the day, did you not?

Look, I can teach you how to do the
killer move. In the wrong hands, it can

people in trouble, but I do a move
where... Don't try this at home.

You're on the dance floor, you pretend
you've got a toffee, and it's not

you put it down the back of your pants,
and then you've got to open the toffee

with your ass. So it's like this.

Do you feel like you're back at Whopper?
Yeah, yeah, it's exactly the same

feeling. Does it have to be a toffee?
Can it be... Like, does a minty wrapper

work? Minty would work, yeah.

It's like he's trying to undo a phantom.

You'd actually have a red skin after
that.

While we're heading down the fraud
track, there's someone else who wants to

heard. Reece Darby.

What's Reece?

Oh, hey, just leaning up against the
cupboard there.

Rhys Darby here, and as a New Zealander,
I'm used to one thing.

Australians claiming our things as their
own. From Farlap to Russell Crowe to

the Pavlova. They want it to work, guys.

And what are you putting strawberries on
it for?

You're not supposed to do that.

Anywho, Jim Jefferies, which isn't even
his real name, you have done something

even weirder.

You've pretended to be a New Zealander
and got caught.

Now that's just wrong.

Yeah, it feels like stolen vela, mate.

It's actually unnatural.

It's like kissing your sister, which you
Aussies can take credit for all on your

own.

Now, he's referring to... So me and
Reece, we started out in London

So 25 years ago, we were working
together.

There was an incident.

I'm living in England, right, doing
stand -up, and...

Australia loses the World Cup in rugby.

Johnny Wilkinson kicks that goal. I
remember. Tough day for us all. Then

year later, we lose the Ashes.

Greatest Ashes series ever, but we lose.

And then my life was a misery.

So every time I get on stage, the
British, lovely people, great losers.

Terrible winners. The worst winners that
ever were. I hope they never win

another thing again, and I think my wish
will come true.

Anyway, so every time I get on stage,
they're like, they're like, they're

Johnny Wilkinson!

The action!

I couldn't get a joke out for a year!

For a year!

Johnny Wilkinson, The Ashes. One time
I'm in London, I'm doing five gigs that

night. I end up one o 'clock in the
morning doing the London Comedy Store.

Last gig of the night, I've heard Johnny
Wilkinson, The Ashes. Johnny Wilkinson,

The Ashes. I say to the MC, I said, I
can't handle this anymore.

Tell them I'm from New Zealand.

I said, I don't want to put up with it.
They go, please welcome to the stage,

all the way from New Zealand, Jim
Jefferies.

and I'm having a great gig for the first
time in a long time. I have the

audience in the palm of my hand. No
problems. Every joke is hitting. I have

change a few lines. Like, you know,
growing up in New Zealand, little things

like that.

That harbour bridge in Auckland.

Yeah.

In the third row, there's a rather large
Maori fella. Is there?

And I went, you know, growing up in New
Zealand, and all I hear is this, not

true.

No, no. No, no. Anyway, New Zealand.

Bullshit.

And he doesn't even say a protest. He
just stands up and he goes, he's not

New Zealand. He's an Australian. I'm
going to go for piss.

And the audience, not only did we lose
the ashes, not only did we

lose the rugby, but I was lying convict
scum.

They booed me off the stage, and I was
just like, good night, everyone.

God bless New Zealand. And Rhys was in
the audience, and he's never let me

bloody forget it. Something else in
there that we noticed. You said it's not

your real name. Yeah. What's that about?

What's going on?

You mean you changed it to Jim
Jefferies? It turns out that having an

alliterated name, Mick Malloy, it sounds
better, right?

Okay, so is that your real name? It is
my real name.

It's actually my dancing name. Yeah,
yeah.

You look like you have more of a, like,
Croatian -y sort of Greek sort of bend

in.

Maloyoski. I'm in the witness protection
care.

The big reveal.

Okay, so my real name is Jeffrey James
Nugent, and it's Jeffrey with a G.

And Nugent's spelled N -U -G -E -N -T,
and James is my middle name. So I

it to Jeffrey James for one show, and
then I changed it to Jim Jefferies. And

the reason I did that...

I was 17 and I was doing an open mic at
the Manly Boat Shed in Sydney.

Adam Hills was emceeing. Never heard of
him. He was only a young man

as well. I think he had both legs back
then.

Anyway,

so he welcomed me on the stage.

And he looked at his bit of paper and he
said, please, Godfrey Nugget.

And I was like, Godfrey Nugget, that's
not, that's got to go. Yeah, that one's

not going to, it doesn't look good on a
banner.

Godfrey Nugget. So I changed it to
Jeffrey James and then Jim Jefferies

Jeffrey James sounds too much like Jesse
James or something like that and then

Jim Jefferies. But I haven't gone by
that name and I've kept that a secret

30 years and I appreciate that, mate.

So is there a little part of you that
protects?

Young Geoffrey Nugent.

Geoffrey Nugent is a nerd.

Exactly.

Exactly. But he won Buddy Vidiot.

Did your parents make you change your
name because they saw your act?

Please don't be a Nugent. I'll be honest
with you. At one stage I was like, if

the opera singing in musical theatre
career takes off, you'll be Geoffrey

Nugent. If me saying the C word a lot
takes off, I'll be Jim Jefferies. And it

just so happens it went the other way.

Can you hang around Godfrey?

We've got some more to work through.

I can't hang around Jim every day.

Hang around Jim. We'll be back with Jim
Jeffries in just a while.

Welcome back to Glenn and Nick's
Celebrity Intervention with my co -host,

Lawrence Mooney. You're doing a great
job. I'm really enjoying this. And I

that we're making some great progress,
Jim. I'm nervous.

There's a lot of secrets that have come
out now. I'm not over the moon about it.

I am concerned about one thing, and that
is your Hollywood lifestyle. I think

it's changing who you were. And let me
remind you that I knew a young Jim

Jefferies way back in 2001.

We did a gig in Terrigal, New South
Wales, together.

You laugh now.

Because they weren't laughing then.

Anyway. And then your parents drove us
home.

Someone had to.

Yeah. I can't imagine we were sober for
that show. I can't imagine that. But

your parents were giving you feedback
about...

not swearing on stage.

Yes. And you swore a lot in that car.

Yeah, my parents weren't very positive
about me doing stand -up. My dad more so

than my mother.

My mother sadly passed away five years
ago. It's very sad because she didn't

live long enough to see my father happy.
She missed it by a couple of days.

If she just held on.

She just held on. She just missed it. It
was bloody terrible.

But my mother,

I remember because I was saying the C
word. Am I allowed to say it on this

You can.

Channel 7. You can.

Okay, so I was saying **** on stage.

Oh, that's C word.

I thought the C word was Channel 7.

Anyway, I said it on stage at a gig when
I was, you know, 18 or something like

that. And my old PE teacher was Mr. Rod
Hardness. My mother was a schoolteacher

at the school. He classed me up the
prick.

He went the next day and he said, oh,
you were saying see this and see that.

mum came home so furious and I went,
mum, I would never.

I don't know why you'd say such a thing.
So I guess I am a fool. And by the way,

Rod's a c***.

Yeah.

That's what you say when you're doing
that.

Remember me, Mr Hartnett?

You transitioned from that sweet boy
swearing at your parents in the car to

rubbing shoulders with the rich and
famous in Hollywood. And we're worried

it's just changing you. You've gone more
Hollywood than Peter Allen.

You have got a very close friend who is
probably one of the most famous people

in the world at the moment. Yes.

She's concerned about you. Oh, I thought
you were going to say someone

different. Lisa Vanderpump. I love Lisa
Vanderpump.

You're great friends. That's a shirt
that didn't fit my neck anymore.

But that's me at her dog charity. I met
Lisa. I did one of her podcasts once.

And then she said, oh, you must come
over to Villa Rosa, which is her home,

all the ponies and the swans and all the
dogs and everything. Wow. And I said,

oh, yeah, I'll get right on that. And I
told my wife. My wife is like, we're

going. That's Lisa Vanderbilt. My wife's
favorite, you know, like housewife.

So we went over to the house, and me and
Lisa get on like a house on fire. And

seriously, we call each other up every
couple of days and have a long chat. And

I love Lisa with all my heart. And
anyone who wants to say anything bad

Lisa Vanderpump has to come through me
first. All right, well, I'll tell you

what.

She may have a few bad things to say
about you.

Jim Jeffers. Oh, yes, Jim.

I used to love Jim.

Jim Jeffers, great guy.

Then he came over here and he just got
carried away with himself.

I mean, I can't really explain it, but,
I mean, he's gone so Hollywood.

If I think it's too Hollywood, you know
it's too Hollywood, right?

I mean, all he talks about is Brad Pitt,
Brad this, Brad that.

I think over there, what he used to be
like, you would have called him like a

bovine or something.

But now, I mean, he's more plastic than
my...

bloody credit card.

I'm not saying something.

Well, there's a couple of accusations.

I'm with you. I'm a big fan of Linda.

No, it's Lisa.

It's Lisa Vanderpump. It's Linda
Vanderburg.

Lisa Vanderpump.

Lisa Vanderpump. Lisa Vanderpump.

LVP.

I've got a problem because I don't know
where this is.

the toffee didn't fall out.

I hope he never goes to prison.

Because you will be Vanderpumped.

So Brad Pitt, what happens with Brad
Pitt? Now I'm in trouble for mentioning

Brad Pitt. Now you're asking me about
Brad Pitt.

Tell me, what's your relationship with
Brad Pitt like?

Brad was... Now I'm going to look like
I'm name dropping.

Yeah, he's not looking happy.

Both of Manchester's had enough.

So Brad was the weatherman on my TV show
in America.

I had a TV show called The Jim Jeffery
Show. It was a great show. And he was my

weatherman, and he would come on and
read the weather.

We've got a clip. Let's take a look.

Here's our own Jim Jeffery Show
weatherman.

How's it looking out there, weatherman?

Thank you, Jim.

So things are going to be getting warmer
in this area here and this area.

Here.

Thank you, Jim Jefferies, Go Weatherman.

Do you have any future forecasts for us?

There is no future.

That is huge.

Can I just say, I am a very big fan of
Bill Pitt.

No, it's Brad Pitt.

It's Brad Pitt.

Oh, boy.

It's Brad Pitt. Oh, no.

Just before we hear about Brad Pitt, we
asked him to be on the show. He sent us

this. So whom it may concern... How did
you get in touch with Brad Pitt?

You can imagine my excitement when I got
your email asking me to share a message

from Jim Jefferies.

You'll have to imagine, because there
was none.

Going on Jim's show was the biggest
regret of my life and I was in Legends

the Fall.

No regards, Brad Pitt. Anyway, that's
from Brad.

How did you meet him? How did you get
him on your show?

Brad came to one of my shows, my stand
-up shows during COVID because he could

wear a face mask.

Because COVID was happening. So he
walked into the room. He walked all the

down the aisle. And then he sat in the
front row and took his mask off. And no

one knew Brad Pitt. Did you know it was
Brad Pitt?

Yeah, I had an erection the whole time.

So then Brad said he'd be on my show as
the weatherman. And if you cut back to

that picture of him in the linen suit,
that was the suit that he wore, right?

that was the Italian linen suit. He did
the show four times. Then my show gets

cancelled.

Why? Because everything does.

You'll find out in three episodes.

Anyway,

so... That's hopeful.

So they're clearing out my office and
literally they've got like the razor

blades scraping my name off the door,
off the glass window, right?

And one of the girls from wardrobe comes
in and she goes, I have Brad Pitt's

suit. I could take it over to his house
if you like.

And I'm like this, oh, I'll take it,
like that, right? Because I still get

starstruck around Brad, right? And so I
ring Brad up and I said, oh, Brad, I've

got your suit. Would you like me to
bring it over? And he said, just give it

charity.

Like, fuck, I was going to do it.

To charity.

I'm a little bit larger than Brad. I
don't have the same physique.

I put the suit on. I'm standing in my
room. I look like Pee Wee Herman, the

sleeve.

I'm in a little suit.

It didn't fit me, but I packed it all
up. And for Christmas under the tree, I

had Brad Pitt's suit. And I gave it to
my then 80 -year -old father. And I

there you go. There's a suit. And it fit
him perfectly. And I go, Dad, that's

Brad Pitt's suit.

And my dad goes, who's Brad Pitt?

And I show him the photo on my phone and
I go, there he is wearing the suit,

right? And he goes, get me a laminated
version of that photo to fit in the top

breast pocket, right?

My dad doesn't have a phone or anything
like that. So now when he takes women on

dates, he wears the Brad Pitt suit.

And he goes, if they start to lose
interest, I bloody whip it out.

I whip it out. He goes, and they're back
in. And he goes, and you know what?

They always know who he is.

That is right.

Now, the other thing, Leper, or Linda in
your case, referred to was your

cosmetic surgery. He said you had more
plastic than a credit card. True or

false? You've had some work done.

I've had the teeth.

You needed them done because they were
punched in. I've had a hair transplant

that didn't really take.

I'll do another one of them because this
is all smoke and mirrors.

The production crew over there have done
more work on me than they had do on

Avatar.

And I had lipo on the chin. But don't
worry about it.

They took a little pocket out there and
I had a penis reduction.

It was necessary. Well, you've got the
big ones out of the way.

So, Mick, you have had some work.

I've had two chins added, and I've got
fake love handles. But that's by the by.

How's our friend from Manchester going?

Are you loosening up a bit? You're still
staying a bit.

Well, he looks like he's seething.
Jesus.

I don't know what you've done here.
There's a bit of work to go. Hang about.

We're going to come back with more Jim
Jefferies in just a moment.

We're doing well. Welcome back to a
great and mixed celebrity convention

our guest, Jim Jefferies. You're doing
well, mate. Thank you. I feel like I'm

improving as a... Oh, yeah.

Okay. We're going to go deep now. We've
had some friends and some colleagues,

but we'd like to... We haven't gone deep
enough. I feel like we've gone deep

enough. We'd like to get some family
involved, and we thought we'd hear from

your wonderful wife, Daisy.

Hi, everybody.

Jim needs an intervention for his fear
of bananas.

He doesn't just, like, hate the idea of
eating a banana.

He can't physically be near a banana.

He can't be in a room with, like, banana
wallpaper.

And that's been my dream for so long, to
have a room covered in banana

wallpaper. I would also like to enjoy a
banoffee pie with him.

And I think he would actually like
banana if he tried it. I don't think

even ever tasted it. He's just repulsed
by them. So please help him overcome his

fear of bananas.

All right. Now, hang on.

Just before we get to that, can we
address the elephant in the room? Yes.

are batting way out of your league. What
is going on there?

It's not funny. It's beautiful. Daisy is
amazing.

How? How did you reign that? What did
you pull? What card did you play to get

that woman to fall in love with this? I
met my wife on a dating app, as many

people do, or many people met her.

I met my wife on a dating app, and I
went on one date with her, and it went

okay. And my wife's obviously British.

and we were going out in L .A., and she
was, like, into me, but not really.

I wasn't going to get a second date. She
liked me. She thought I was nice

enough. And then I told her that I gave
Piers Morgan the finger on the Bill

Maher show, which I did. I was all drunk
and maybe other things, and I got

really overexcited on live TV, and I
went, and Piers Morgan.

Well, hang on a second. We've got that
footage right here. Let's take a look.

And so what happened was, it was during
Trump's first bit of his administration,

he started banning certain people from
coming in to the country and all that

type of stuff. And I said, I went, I
went, I'm like, this is really Hitler

stuff. And then Pierce clutched his
pearls and he said, how dare you? I gave

Pierce the finger and then my wife, I
told her the story and she goes, oh, I

watched that. I watched that. And she
rang her mum up and she goes, she goes,

mummy, because that's how British people
talk.

She goes, Mummy, she goes, I'm with the
guy who told Piers Morgan to fuck off.

And that's what you say online.

Love at first finger.

Now,

let's tack on into it. Bananas. What's
the deal with bananas?

I don't. Why do you hate bananas? I
don't.

If we had bananas here, how would you be
upset?

No, I don't. I'm not scared of bananas.
I just don't like to be in the same.

I don't like to be in the... Would that
be a problem?

Sorry.

That's a... It's exposure therapy. It's
exposure therapy.

No,

that really does quite upset me.

It's not.

Look.

It's upsetting me now.

It's got the black dots on the bloody
thing.

It's bruised. A green one I can handle.

What about lolly bananas?

I've never eaten one of those. You've
never eaten one of those?

I'm not eating one of them. Get the fuck
out of here.

I once had a banana paddle pop by
mistake, thinking it was a vanilla one.

never eaten a banana. Oh, God.

Has that been above me the whole time?
That's the whole time.

The banana of Damocles.

Banana boat.

Yeah, I'm all right with that.

I'm all right with that because I'm
pale. I have to put up with something.

What if we showed you a picture of
Bananarama?

Is that difficult for you? No, I'm all
right with Bananarama.

Hello.

It's Tom the Fruit -erer.

What about the big banana?

Would you ever go take part in the big
banana? My parents would go to the big

banana. I'd stay outside the big banana.
I've never walked through the big

banana. Is it a terror? I feel really
sick now. I honestly feel quite uneasy

about the whole thing. You know what?

Don't peel it. Don't peel it.

Don't do it.

I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not.

Stop it.

Please. No, put it away. I'm not. No,
I'm not.

It's going away.

It's the peeling.

That's what we'll do, Tim. We'll go to a
break. We'll sort this out. Back with

more intervention in just a moment.

Welcome back to another celebrity

intervention where we've just found out
that... Jim Jefferies has a phobia about

bananas. And by the way, can I just say
to our bloke from Manchester, in the

future you don't have to punch him in
the face. You can just peel a banana and

chuck it.

Do you remember that sketch, that Monty
Python sketch? What do you do if someone

attacks you with a banana? Like that.

That's fucking terrifying.

Now, we're moving on. You also told us
in the break, that was genuine. Yeah,

when he peeled it, I was all right with
that one.

And I was all right with the sweets. I
was all right with the syntheticness of

it. But, no, when he peeled it, and it
had a brown spot at the top of it.

And I saw it from a... Can we move on?
We're nearly done here, but there's one

more big topic. What's your beef with
the village people?

What is your beef with the village
people? I don't have a problem with the

village people. The village people have
a problem with me. So tell us what

happened. Why are you guys getting to
court? I was doing my podcast and Trump

was having his inauguration and the
village people played at the

and Trump did that dance that looks like
he has two guys standing either side of

him. The banana dance. Two bananas.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Coming in pairs.

7 .30 time slot.

7 .30.

So the village people said, isn't it
funny that all these right -wing

evangelical Christians are dancing to
the YMCA, a song about men having sex in

the showers? But that song slaps. It's a
banger. It's a banger. I love it. So I

said that the village people's music has
gay overtones, right? The next day, I

get a letter from Karen Willis. Karen
Willis is a lawyer.

Karen Willis is married to Victor
Willis.

Victor Willis is the cop from the
village people.

Right? And now that he's getting all
that MAGA money and all that type of

he is suing anyone for defamation if
they say the village people are gay.

Right. This is a hill I'm willing to die
on. Are you saying that

these people right here are gay?

Yes.

You're saying they're gay?

No, they are not gay.

You're out of your mind. Even the guy in
the chaps?

Victor Willis isn't gay.

He says he's not gay. We have to believe
him.

But I assume the rest of them are. And
where have you left it? You're not in

court anymore.

So if I keep on saying that the village
people have gay overtones, they have

promised to sue me.

So I rang up Karen. I apologized to her.
I said, if it's not about that, she

said, it's about men going to the YMCA
and playing a bit of basketball.

It doesn't mention basketball.

At any stage, it never mentions, you can
shoot me, sir. And I said, all right,

Karen, the YMCA isn't about
homosexuality, but you have to give me

You have to give me in the Navy.

So she's got a problem with you, but she
hasn't got a problem with Wikipedia.

They just describe it as a gay ban from
Greenwich Village, which they refer to

as part of a gayberhood.

I've never heard the term gayborhood
before.

I'm going to start using that term all
the time at gayborhood.

I'll just apologise right now to the
village people. I'm sorry I said such a

horrible thing about you. It obviously
isn't true.

So... Can we have a look at that photo
one more time, please? This is a totally

heterosexual band.

No gay overtone. No gay don't. Macho Man
has no overtone.

That looks like my indoor cricket team.

Why don't they say Macho Man was from
the album Cruising?

I'll just say this. If it does go to
court and you're in the dock and they

you how do you plead, you should spell
out not guilty.

We're going to be back with Jim Depp. We
shall definitely tell you. We'll be

back in a moment.

You've really done well, Jim. Jim
Jefferies, of course, our special guest

tonight on Glen and Mick's Celebrity
Intervention.

How do you think you've gone? Have you
learned anything?

Look, I want to thank you guys for
setting me straight.

It's been a big deal for me. It has.

Mick, over the years, you've been a hero
of mine. I've watched you on TV for

years. I've worshipped you as a young
man. Oh, wow. You were literally my

favourite comedian.

Lawrence, we worked together.

Glenn, you've been on TV.

We come full circle. We come full
circle. When I was a young comic

in Perth, when I was out in Whopper and
all that type of stuff, I had a gig in

the Claremont Hotel at the top there. It
was good because I had this gig, and I

was out there flyering, trying to push
my gig so I could get some stage time.

Yeah, of course. And you were there,
Mick.

I was. I don't remember. You were as
drunk as I've ever seen a human being in

entire life. It doesn't sound like that.

With a girl who was far out of your
league.

And I went up and I said, Mick, I said,
can you come and perform at my comedy

club tomorrow? And you said, ring me
tomorrow, I'll see what I can do. And

I gave you one of the flyers and I said,
will you sign this for me? And you

signed it, to Jim, make him laugh and
feed him Froot Loops.

Mick Malloy.

And I thought, I've kept it for years.

I've kept this bit of paper for years.
Make them laugh and feed them Froot

Loops. And I thought it was profound and
maybe it meant something.

And then over the years I've gotten to
know you and now I know you're just an

idiot.

I'm glad I had an effect on you. A young
emerging... Did you not have a moment

with him where you ate something
together?

Oh, we ate? Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

You'll pay for this, Robert.

So Mick came out to L .A., right?

Oh, you can't tell this story. I can.

It's time to go. No, no, no.

No, this is not going to make it. No,
it'll make it. That's why I'm telling

We'll tell it.

I took Mick out to dinner at Soho House.
I can get in.

Soho House?

Yeah, oh yeah. I took him the full nine
yards. I took him out to Soho House.

Now, I don't drink anymore because it's
irresponsible.

I just get high every day.

So, California sober, as I like to call
it, high and dry, right? So I took an

edible. I take edibles all the time. I
can handle myself with them.

Mick, Mick took...

Mick took an edible.

He's there with his brother. He did all
right. Mick, not so good.

I was popping them like Maltesers.

So we leave the venue. We go outside.
We're going to walk off to a bar. As we

walk out the bar, Mick falls into a
hedge.

And in cartoonish, the legs are up in
the air.

He's in the bushes. I have to get him
back out. And I go, what happened? You

fell into a hedge. We go up to a bar.
And then Mick goes, oh, I like the old

we're at. Let's go back.

We go back. He falls into the same
hedge.

So he fell right into the hedge and left
into the hedge to get his equilibrium

right. We've got to go. What have you
learnt tonight about yourself?

I've learnt that my gigs are going to be
really bad because audience members are

going to bring bananas down.

We love Jim Jefferies.

I feel a stand -up, Jim, for this

stand -up. I think we've had a great
night. I just want to ask you...

the audience.

Do you think Jim's made a breakthrough?
Do you love Jim?

What about you, mate?

I'm not happy. Here he comes.

That's the bloke from Manchester.

He's coming down.

No, don't do this.

Come here.

He's got to go.

He's got to go.

Good night.

Thank you for watching.

Well,

you know what? I thought that went
really well. I felt like I learned a

bit too much about myself, to be honest.
I'll tell you what I learned.

It's fun to stay at the YMCA. We won't.
No, Glenn. We won't be doing that. You

want to go back for a massage, perhaps?

Go on.

Got the robe all ready.

Make them laugh and feed them Froot
Loops.