All language subtitles for Columbo - Season 2 episode 02 - Okayat

-[Gunshot]
- Lieutenant, I received a letter from Tony.

Well, he's perfectly all right.

Really.
How big a ransom
did the letter ask for, ma'am?.

I must say, the lieutenant's
investigatory procedures
do differ somewhat from my own.

Well, that speaks verywell
foryou, Sergeant Wilson.

[Phone Ringing]

[Ringing Continues ]

Hello?.
[ Man ]
Mrs. Goodland?.

Yes.
Mrs. Tony Goodland?.

Who is this?.
Never mind.

I just wouldn't go any place
if I was you.

Your old man, he just
bought himselfsome trouble.

He's what?.
What areyou talking about?.

Just stay put, lady.

Ifhe pays up,
no hard feelings.

Ifhe don't,
we'll be in touch with you.

Get in touch?. What is this?.

[ Line Disconnects ]
[ Dial Tone Humming ]

Tony?.

Tony?.

[ Ringing ]

Hello?. Whom?.

Mrs. Tony Goodland.

And ifmy husband is there, Miss West,
I'd like to speakwith him, please.

Well, whywould you--
I mean, what makes you--

I know whatyou mean, dear,
and you know what I mean.
Now, is he there or isn't he?.

Well, he certainly is not.

Now I was at one time Tony's--

Mr. Goodland's receptionist employee,
Mrs. Goodland.

And that is absolutely all!

I know all about
your skills at the office.
Just tell me where Tony is.

Well, I don't know where he is.
Honest, Mrs. Goodland.

[ Line Disconnects ]
[ Dial Tone Humming ]

Jarvis?.
I'm looking forTony.

Ah, sweet Catherine.
Looking for Tony, areyou?

My, what a pleasant surprise
for him.

Tell me, my dear.
Have you tried your own home?.

- I am home.
- Well, a double surprise.

Jarvis, look, I'm not in the mood
for playing badminton right now.

I got a weird phone call
a couple of minutes ago and I--

- Did you?. One ofyour friends?.
- Damn it,Jarvis. Will you listen?.

Oh.

Sounds quite lethal, doesn't he?.

Well, I tell you, Cathy,
why don'tyou wait an hour,

and ifTony doesn't comeweaving
in bythen, why don'tyou call
the authorities.

Yes, of course, the police.

Drunks and errand husbands
are their special province, I believe.

Not at all, my dear.
Oh, and, Cathy,

assuming nothing is wrong
with Tony,

it's been my pleasure
to hearyou so upset, my dear.

Torpedoes running straight,
hot and normal.

Why doyou always
have to talk to her
like she was some kind of a--

Well, isn't she?.
I've told you before,
knock offthat stuff.

And the word foryou
is still "gullible!"

Why doyou insist upon
being in love with a wife...

who spends all your cash
on some skiing instructor?.

Maybe I've fooled around
a little bit myself.

In self-defense, dear boy.

Of course, you are embarrassinglyweak
and far too decent...

to compete with
your Catherine the great.

UncleJarvis, I'm warning you.
I don't want to hear
any more talk about--

Look, this whole thing betterwork.
It just betterwork, that's all.

Oh, it'll work.
I planned it.

And now let's be off
to conclude phase one,
shall we, nephew?.

Now wait a minute. Wait a minute.
What ifCathy calls
you back again later?.

She'll get a busy signal.

I thought I told you
to listen to the police calls.

I have been.
I just turned it off.
Then turn it on again.

[ Man Over Radio, Indistinct ]

[ Woman Over Radio ]
Three-car collision at the corner
ofSepulveda and--

[Police Radio Chatter Continues ]
Now, what about
tomorrow night?.

I make the first phone call to Cathy
between midnight and 1 2:30.

From?.
That roadside phone
just below here.

And the second call?.
Twenty minutes later
from the same phone.

Toyou, at that gas station
on Wilshire.

Good.
Boo.

It's gonna feel like Halloween
wearing this thing.
Well, don't forget to wear these.

We don't want some clod
trying to match footprints.
Now, where's the letter?.

Oh. Here.

I copied straight
from your draft.
Word forword?.

Yes!
What about fingerprints?.

Only mine on the letter
and the envelope.

[ Woman Over Radio ]
Anthony Goodland, age 31.
Hey, listen.

Driving yellow sports car.
Chrome-spoke wheels.

License ZZ0324.

All cars, report ifsubject
is located.
Well, we are in business.

And now, dear nephew,
to phase two.

Listen,Jarvis.

Couldn't we just hide the Jag?.
That thing cost me a bundle.

Did it costyou $300,000?.

Headlights off.
I know.

Dashboard clock set back to 1 2:1 8.

Windows up!

Emergency brake off?.
Yes!

- Flaps up, wheels down.
- Would you mind?.

Well, don't just stand there.
Push!

Come on!

The end of a perfect day.

[Man OverRadio ]
Standby. Information incomplete.

Hey, mister,
didn't you see me signaling?.
I'm a cop, sir.

Right, you're a cop.
Now can you back this up
and move it down the hill?.

Officer, you don't understand.
I'm a member ofthe force.
Lieutenant.

Lieutenant, don't worry
aboutyour car. The officer
will move it foryou.

Officer, right now.
A lieutenant?.

This way, sir.
Oh, thankyou.
Thankyou very much.

Thankyou very much.

Sir-- Oh, sir, may I?.

Oh, fine.

Sir, the vehicle's point
of descent is right over there.
You'll notice the skid marks of course.

These are the, uh--
These are the second set
of skid marks here?.

No, sir. The second set
is right over here.

It's a bigger, heaviervehicle.

Of course, I don't have to
tell you that, sir.
Oh, please. You could tell me.

Well, the smallervehicle is the vehicle
that descended into the canyon.

Here, I'll showyou
the quickestway down.

Lieutenant?
It's a... Iittle steep.

Yes, sir. Sir?

But I'll tell you,
it was the quickest way down.
Oh,yes, byfar.

Here, sir.
[ Groans ]
Thankyou.

[ Muttering ]
This is the car
right here, sir.

Subject vehicle, a Jaguar,
registered to subject person...

oflast night's missing person report,
Anthony Goodland.

Male Caucasian,
residing 1 1 Hightower Road.

Discovered approximately
one hour ago by two juveniles
taking a shortcut to school.

You want their names, Lieutenant?.
What?. Who?. I'm sorry?.

The juveniles. I have their names
right here when you need them.

Yeah. Very good. Very good.
Yes, sir.

Soil moisture tests
beneath subject vehicle...

indicate residual dew,

indicating in turn
that subject vehicle...

has been here since last night.

That is substantiated
by subject vehicle's electric clock...

which stopped running at 1 2:1 8.

Bullet hole in window
on driver's side, but no blood,

indicating preliminarily
that bullet missed.

Bullet slug lodged
in backofpassenger seat.

Lights, ignition,
emergency brake, all off.
[ Chuckles ]

Well, sir, I guess I don't have to tell you
what this all adds up to.

Adds up to?.
Yes, you can tell me.

As I reconstruct it, sir,
Mr. Goodland was halted...

by the shotyou
were looking at there,

forced out ofthe car,
which was then pushed over the side.

This to conceal the fact
that he was grabbed by a person
or persons unknown.

That jibe with your thinking, sir?.

Uh, I was wondering.
Could you tell meyour name?.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, sir.
Detective Sergeant Frederic Wilson.

Sir, please, forgive my rudeness.
Oh, no, that's perfectly all right.

One years experience Homicide,
two years Advanced Police School,
Berkeley,

returned to city Homicide,
six July.

Wow. Well, you're a very
efficient officer. I can see that.
Thankyou, sir.

With permission from Captain Ritchie
to work right alongsideyou, sir.

You're gonna work
along with me?.

I, uh, do hope
that's acceptable toyou, sir.

Uh, Captain Ritchie did sayyou were fast
becoming a legend in the department.

Oh, Captain Ritchie said that?.
Oh, yes, indeed.

Oh. Well. Doyou have
a pocketknife?.

Yes, sir.

Would you hold this for me?.
Oh, certainly, sir.

I wonderwhy he said that.
I beg your pardon?.

Captain Ritchie, he said that?.
Aboutyou?

Oh, repeatedly, sir.

I wonderwhy he said that.
Thankyou.
Oh, thanks.

I wonder ifyou could get this
over to the crime lab
as soon as possible.

Oh, yes, sir.
This fella have a wife?.

Does she know about this?.

I suggested theywait until
you had madeyour preliminary report, sir.
Oh, verygood.

Sergeant, I wonder ifyou could
hang around here and see ifyou could
locate any more physical evidence,

something that might
do us some good?.

Couldyou do that?
Certainly, sir.

Thankyou. Fine.
Lieutenant?.

Yes?.
Um--

I hopeyou don't mind Captain Ritchie
assigning me toyou like this.

I mean, that is to say I realize
itwas donewithout consulting you, and--

No, Freddie, that's perfectly
all right. Captain Ritchie's
a very fine administrator,

and I'm sure
hejustwanted to expose me
to some modern techniques.

No, I appreciate that.
Uh, I think I'll go
the long way around.

Oh, yes. Oh, Lieutenant?.

Yes?.
Your coat.

Oh, thankyou very much.
I'll carry it. Thankyou.

[Jarvis ]
Well, I mustsay, Catherine,

our kidnapper, whoever he is,
is certainly no piker.

To demand a ransom
of $300,000,

why, I'll wager there are weeks
here and there even you
don't spend that sort of money.

Don'tyou ever stop,Jarvis?.

However, leaving
our personal affection aside,

you must realize that my situation
is such that even I couldn't pour...

even the smallest drop
into such a huge bucket,

even though I'm not a weakling
with a spendthrift wife.
[Doorbell Chimes ]

Oh, shut up,Jarvis.

Uh, Mrs. Goodland?.
Yes.

Police department, ma'am.
Lieutenant Columbo.

Yes?.
Would you mind
ifl came in?.

Well, I've alreadytold your people
everything I know, Lieutenant,
in triplicate.

Now, ifyou'll excuse me,
I have company.

Uh, ma'am, you see, this time,
I've got something to tell you.

Oh.
[ Sighs ]

Well, come in.

This is Lieutenant, uh--
Columbo.

How doyou do, sir?.
This is Jarvis Goodland,
Tony's uncle.

Did I hearyou say
you have something to tell us?.

Uh, yes, sir.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Goodland.

We found your husband's car
about an hour ago.

It was in a canyon
off Middlecross Road.

Smashed up pretty badly,
I'm afraid.

Kindofa long drop
offithatparticularspot.

Even worse, we found a bullet hole
in the window on the driver's side.

You already heard this?.

- Uh, no.
- Oh.

Well, it kind ofseems
to me that if...

somebody popped in and told mywife
that they found my car...

at the bottom of a canyon
with a bullet hole in it,

you know, I think she would
wanna ask if I was in the car,
ifl was hurt, ifl was alive--

You're quite right, Lieutenant.
We do knowmuch ofwhat
you're telling us.

Jarvis.
It's always better to tell the truth,
my dear, especially to the police.

Jarvis, will you let me handle--

Lieutenant, I received a letter
from Tony. He's perfectly all right.

Really.
How big a ransom did the letter
ask for, ma'am?.

- You already knew.
- Oh, no, no. No, uh--
Is that an ashtray?.

It's just that letters to wives
and relatives saying
"don't talk to the police,"

they often involve a kidnapping.

And I mean, uh,
the way I could just barely
get into the house here,

just now, right here at the door,

well, I make these small observations--
I can't help it, ma'am-- sometimes.

- May I see the letter, please?.
- Well, you can't.

Aside from the fact it specifically says
not to give the police any information--

Mrs. Goodland, I will do nothing
to endangerthe safety ofyourhusband.

But this is a crime.
This is a police matter.

I've already sent it by messenger
to Mr.Jameson at the Golden West Bank.

He's gonna verifyTony's handwriting.
He'll do whatever's necessary.

Catherine, I thinkyou'd better
cooperate more than that.

The letters asked for $300,000
in small unmarked bills.

$300,000?.

Well, that's a lot of money.
I mean,

well, doyou mind ifl askyou,
doyou have access--

Well, ofcourse I don't have it.
But Tonyhas a trust fund.

Now, in an emergency like this--
Ah, the trust fund.

That's whyyou wanted me here.

Well,Jarvis, I certainly know
you wouldn't help me raise
the money any otherway.

I'm sorry. I don't quite understand
about that trust fund.

Well, you see, I am coadministrator
with the bank...

ofa trust fundset up
by Tony's father.

And you, Catherine,
should know of all people...

that he put enough strings in there
to protect Tony from his own bad habits...

and grasping wives.

I also know, because Mr.Jameson
told me on the telephone,

that there is an emergency clause
for-- well, for problems like this.

- Yes, there is that.
- Then you can get the money?.

I mean, you can break the trust fund.
Boy, that's a lucky thing.

We can ifthe bank
verifies the letter.

[Jarvis ]
Andifl choose to vote
in Tony's favor.

Now there's no use
glaring at me like that.

Blood is thicker than martinis.

I'll go and see Jameson
right away.
Hmph.

Oh, sir?. You will be careful
with the fingerprints, won'tyou?.

I mean, we could help
with the verification.

Why don't I send one ofthe lab boys
over there to meetyou?.
Why don'tyou do that?.

Delightful, isn't he?.

What?. Huh?.

Oh. Well,

you know, everybody gets uptight
in a situation like that.

I can understand that.
And, Mrs. Goodland,

believe me, I understand
how concerned you are
aboutyour husband.

And rest assured,
we will do nothing to interfere.

- Just help.
- [DoorOpens ]

I heard the front door close.
I thought you were alone.

Who are you?.

Another cop?
Uh, yes. Lieutenant Columbo.

Ken Nichols.
Friend ofthe family.

How doyou do, sir?.

Hey, you look a little tired.

You go on back upstairs
and get some rest.

You let me be the watchdog,
fix him a drink orwhatever.

No, he was just leaving.

Uh, yes, I was just leaving.

Now, Mrs. Goodland,
you just follow any instructions
they giveyou in that letter,

and we'll stay in the background
till your husband's released.

I mean, uh, don't worry.
Everything's gonna be all right.

Lieutenant?.
Yes?.

I'm scared about Tony.

And I'll do anything on earth
to see him safe.

We lead separate lives.

And I don't really care
whatyou might be thinking right now.

Good day!

[ Bell Jingling ]

[Rustling]

Oh, excuse me.

I hope I didn'tstartleyou, sir.

One ofyour men--
I believe it was the gardener--
he said it was all right if I waited here.

And I must say,
it's been a real pleasure...

because I've never seen
so many beautiful flowers in my life.

Orchids, Lieutenant.

One ofthe finest collections
in the country, even ifl say so myself.

Mywife loves African violets,

but, boy, what a thrill
it would be to her--

I can imagine ifl ever brought
something like this home to her--

That specimen happens
to be called a moth orchid.

Its value is
approximately $1 200.

$1 200. Can you imagine that
for one flower?.
Mm-hmm.

Hard to believe. Boy, a fella
could go brokewith a hobby like this.
Mm-hmm.

You mean to tell me every one
ofthese are worth $1 200?.

Lieutenant Columbo, I enjoy
talking about my orchids,

but I have a feeling you came here
with something else on your mind.

Yes, sir. I'm waiting to hear
how you made out at the bank.

Ah.

And to see this I suppose.

Oh, yes, sir, that's very important.
I'd like to keep that for evidence
ifl could.

Let's see ifl have
a handkerchiefhere.

Oh, go ahead!
It won't biteyou.

Your expert's alreadyverified
that the fingerprints are Tony's...

and that the handwriting is his.
Oh, he checked it out, did he?.

Oh, yes.
Well, then there's no need
to be so careful.

[ Coughs ]

Let's see. "Cathy,

"there's a man standing over me...

making me write this!"

"Driving in a car on a country road,
shot at me!"

[Mutters ]
"Forcedoffithe road. "

"Don't worry. I'm not hurt!"
That's must have been a relief
when you got to that part.

- Oh, yes, indeed.
- "Demand $300,000.

Whateveryou do,
don't tell no police. Sit tight--"

Your expert has told you, I'm sure,
everything including the text.

Yeah, you know.
He did in his way.

And also that the money
will be available.

Yeah, that was a lucky thing,
wasn't it?.

And also the fact ofyour being here
jeopardizes my nephew's life.

Nowsupposing we were watched.
Good point, sir.

You're absolutely right.

Better run along.
Uh, the, uh--

The one or two little things I have,
I guess they can wait until, uh--

Yeah.

[ Sighs ]

Now, it just hit me
how much you must love these flowers.

No, whenyou didn't go
straight to the bank--

I mean, with your nephew being kidnapped,
and they told me you took the time
to stop off at the nursery--

You mean I'm being followed already?.

Thatyou're interfering
andyou promisedyou wouldn't?
Uh--

I'm gonna call up
your superiors!
No, there's no need to do that, sir.

No, they've told me,
and they've made it very clear,
I'm to stay in touch,

but until your nephew is released,
believe me, we're way back.

Wayback.
Nothing to worryabout.

In that case, I don't mind
revealing that mynephew
isn't worth a sack ofpeat moss.

He's a wife-ridden weakling
whom I 've despised for years.

If it wasn't for the fact
that he's my only relative,

I'd call up his captors
and tell them that
they're welcome to him.

[DoorCloses ]
[BellJingles ]

Uh, Lieutenant, sir?.

The boys on the new shift,
they keep asking me...

why a homicide lieutenant
has requested to stay
on this kidnapping thing, uh--

I-- I don't know what
I'm supposed to say.

Are they angry?.
I hope they're not angry.
I don't--

Lieutenant, we got a ring.

Oh. Hold that.

[ Ringing ]

Answer it.

Yes?. Tony!

Tony, where areyou?.

Yes,Jarvis is here.

Yes, I've got the money.
Yes, Tony, I'm listening.

Tell Jarvis he's to go to...

Cal-Texas Gas Station,

5835 East Wilshire.

Wait for a call.

[ Straining ]
Public phone booth.
You got that?.

Yes, I've got that.
Tony, areyou all right?.

Have they hurtyou?.
You sound so--
[ Dial Tone Humming ]

They made him hang up.

5835 East Wilshire.
Yes, I think I know the station.

Well, might as well
get it overwith.

Ifyou'd just sign this, Mr. Goodland.
Bank rules and all.
Oh, yes, of course.

What about my going
with you, Mr. Goodland?.
You?.

Sure. I'll hide in the back ofthe car--
My dear boy,
there's one thing I don't need,

it's a hero.

Now assuming I survive,
I shall telephone and letyou know.

Keep him in sight.
No tailgating, understand?.
Yes, sir.

[Phone Ringing]

[ Line Ringing ]

[ Line Clicks ]
It's about time!

Uh, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay.

Uh, take Sunset to Surf Road.

North on Surf 4.6 miles.

You got 1 5 minutes to get there.

[ Man ]
I think he's stopping, Lieutenant.

[ Wilson ]
Pull up and turn offthe lights.
Yes, sir.

Did you ever see
one ofthese before, Lieutenant?.

Uh--

No, I'm not sure I have.
It, uh, looks kind of
familiar, though.

It's a camera-mounted starlight scope.
They use 'em quite a bit at Berkeley
for night work.

You mean that takes pictures
in the dark?.
Yeah.

I bought this one myself.
You used your own money?.

Well, I wanted to have
the best equipment for the job, sir.

You must be a bachelor.

[ Camera Shutter Clicking]

Lieutenant! We've got some
very clear footprints here,
going and coming.

Good. We'll have some moulage
casts made. I thinkwe better go.

Lieutenant, uh--

I believe I'd rather take
some three-dimension photographs,
ifyou don't mind.

We've pretty much stopped using
moulage casts, you know.

We have?.
Oh, with footprints,
yes, indeed.

You see, we found
that when the plasterswells,

it makes them appear a half
to a full size larger than they really are.

- No kidding?.
- Oh, absolutely.

Well, then maybe
we better take pictures.
Oh, very good.

Just as quickly as you can,
Sergeant.
Yes, sir.

Oh, it's you, Columbo.
Yes, sir. I hope
we didn't scareyou.

Detective Sergeant Wilson.
You didn't scare me,
but the kidnapper did.

That mask and everything,
frankly, I'm a little unraveled.

Well, that's quite natural,
Mr. Goodland, believe me.
Thankyou, young man.

Uh, sir, we're kind ofinterested in
exactlywhat happened up there
on that hill.

Well, the man said, "Goodland??"
I said, "Yes!"

He said, "Give me the money!"
I gave him the money.

I hopeyou didn'tsurround
those trees he ran into.

Oh, no, sir.Just as we agreed,
we're gonna stay out of this thing
until your nephew's released.

You wouldn't recognize him again,
would you, ifyou saw him?.

The guyup there in the hill?
I told you,
he had a stocking mask on!

Yeah.

I guess it was pretty dark
up there too.

His voice.
Anything familiar about his voice?.
The way he walked maybe?.

Lieutenant, I've had a fatiguing
and rather frightening evening.
Can't this wait until tomorrow?.

Yeah. I'm sorry, sir.
I guess it must seem toyou
that we're not being very considerate.

- Have a pleasant night, sir.
- I presume that's gallows humor.

Good night, young man.

Sorry it was so long. I had to be sure
that Neanderthal policeman
wasn't following us.

[ Panting ]
Well, itwas hairywhen
he stopped you, I'll tell you that.

Well, I'll take the bag.
No.

I'll take it.

I've really gotta hand it
toyou, UncleJarv.

Unbreakable trust broken
to the tune of300 thou.

Would you look
at these lovely green bricks.

Beautiful.

Far too beautiful foryou to waste
your half on that woman.

That woman happens to be mywife,
and I wanna keep her.

If money's what it takes,
money's what she'll have.

What a waste.

No, Tony, no.

The time has now come for me
to explain toyou phase three.

[ Bell Jingling ]

Columbo.
Oh, good morning,
Mr. Goodland.

I was hoping I'd find you up.
Uh, your gardener said
I might find you here.

You have something on Tony?.
No, sir. No.

I'm afraid we haven't gotten
any kind of report at all,
none at all.

Thatsounds ominous.

Oh, he could pop up
any minute now, sir.

Of course, uh, there is
that possibility that once
they get him to write the letter...

and make the phone call--
butyou never know.

You mean, they may have waited
until the ransom moneywas paid,
and then--

That's a grisly thought.

Well, you just never know,
but it's good to be positive.

I always like to think positive.
Is that all you came here
to talk to me about?.

No, sir. No, I didn't.

Sir, I was hoping that
you'd be able to make
a suggestion.

Mywife has tried everything
she knows to get this thing to grow.

This African violet here.

Uh, I was hoping maybe
you'd be able to make a suggestion.

That is the most miserable
specimen I've ever seen.

My only advice toyou, Columbo,
is to throw it in the trash can.

Yeah.

I was afraid you were
gonna say that.

Well, what areyou gonna do?.

Listen, as long as I'm here,
I might as well bring up one ortwo
little things I didn't get to before.

Uh,yournephew's
redcar, forinstance.

You know, we found that thing
with the ignition and lights off
and the gear in neutral.

Neutral?. But the letter said
he was forced offthe road.

Perhaps they grabbed Tony
and pushed the car over the side
to keep it out of sight, don'tyou think?.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's
what it looks like, all right.

Of course, only then,
one ofthem made that first
telephone call to Mrs. Goodland.

Well, that was to make her
believe the letterwhen she got it.

She's a very hard woman
to convince ofanything,
Lieutenant.

Mm. I wonder how they knew that.

Funny. And no skid marks.

I mean, a really funny--

Say, what is this thing, sir?.

That is a multicolored
cattleya bulb from Brazil.

From Brazil?. You don't say?.
Really?.

Skid marks, Lieutenant?.
Huh?.

- Skid marks?.
- Oh, yeah. There were marks
of a heavier car on that road too.

But hisJaguar,you know, boy,
they can reallytravel.

- I don't know how the heavier
car caught up with him.
- But they took a shot at him.

- Isn't that what he said?.
- Yeah, that's what the letter--

Well, you know something,

the line offlight ofthat bullet
through thewindow--

Well, that slug would've
passed right through him.

I mean,
ifhe was driving the car.

But it didn't. I mean, nothing.
You know?. No blood, nothing.

Just a :32-caliber slug
in the seat.

Well, you see,
Tony's been ducking
things adroitlyforyears.

[ Chuckles ]
Right. Right.
Uh, very good, sir.

You want this?. Here.

Uh, listen, sir,
[ Clears Throat ]

you've got a gun yourself,
haven'tyou, Mr. Goodland?.

Also a :32, I think.

Uh--
Mm-hmm. Uh, yes, yes.

There's one around here somewhere.
I haven't seen it for almost a year.

Uh, Tony gave it to me.
It's around the house somewhere.

Lieutenant,
you been checking up on me?.

Oh, no, sir. No. I just happened
to run across a, uh,

police reportyou filed,
oh, way back there sometime.

Yeah, I hadit here a minute ago.
I don't know what happened to it.

Uh, it had to do with somebody
breaking into the, uh--
into the greenhouse here.

- Solarium.
- Oh, "solarium," right.
I stand corrected.

I got this telephone bill.
I gotta take care ofthat.

Oh, here we are.
Here we are.

Yeah, uh, I guess a guy broke in,
and what happened?.
You took some potshots at him,

orsomething?

Columbo, you're marvelous--

transparent, but marvelous.

You just happened
to run across this report?.

Well, uh, it didn't just happen.
I'd forgotten all about it.

I did take a couple ofshots,
but all I hit was a pile of dirt
over there.

I scared me
more than I scared the prowler.

Well, you know, with all
the glass you got here,
and the prices the way they are,

it's a good thing you shot low,
believe me.

Well, I confess.
Now I have to change
and get to work.

Confess to what, sir?.

To having an unregistered weapon
somewhere in the house.

- That's whatyou're
leading up to, isn't it?.
- Oh, no, sir. Oh, no, not at all.

Listen, ifl arrestedeverybody
with an unregistered weapon
in Los Angeles,

believe me, I'd have half
the population injail.

Then why are you here,
Col um bo?.

Oh! Geez!

This is magnificent.
I asked you a question.

I'm sorry, sir. I happen
to love this game.

I played it when I was a kid
and this is such a beautiful table.

I'm sorry, sir.
I didn't mean to hold you up.

You know, in my house,
I don't have room for a table
in my basement--

even ifl could afford one.

Uh, I've got these
pictures here, sir.

Uh, these were taken
with a starlight scope.

That's a new camera.
It's a very sophisticated
instrument.

I'd likeyou to take a look at 'em.

Uh, you know, sinceyou were
right there. Right on the spot,
so to speak.

Where were these pictures
taken from?.

Oh, way down at the bottom ofthe hill.
They don't show very much,
which is kind offunny too.

You don't mind, doyou?

What was kind offunny too?.

Uh--

Eh, not as rusty
as I thought I was.

Uh, what's funny is that, um,

the place where they asked you
to deliver the ransom,

you know, way up on top
ofthe hill like that there--

I mean, it's almost as though
theywanted to have a place
that was exposed...

in order to be photographed.

What doyou think?.
I think it's very odd.

So do I.
I think this whole case is odd.
You know what I mean?.

I mean,you got those skidmarks
andyou got the bullet hole.

I'll tell ya, in most cases,
you don't have any clues.

Gee, I can't miss a shot.

In this case, I got so many clues,
I don't know where to start.

You know, it's almost like
theyput 'em there
just on purpose.

You're the detective.
Don't ask me foryour answers.

Oh, I can't miss a shot.
Isn't that wonderful?.

Um, oh, there is one thing
that I did wanna askyou, sir.

You know what this whole game is?.
It's all in thewrist.
You just gotta keep that loose.

Uh, what I wanted to askyou was,
uh, why doyou think, uh,

they asked you to deliver the money
instead ofthe wife?.

Because they probably knew
that ifCatherine had
that much money in the car,

she'd just keep on driving.

Uh-huh. I wonder how
they knew that.

[Phone Rings ]

Yes?.

It's foryou, Columbo.

Oh! I told them I was gonna be here.
I hope you don't mind, sir.

Hello. Yeah, Columbo.

I'll be there as soon as I can.

- We've got some very bad news, sir.
- What?.

They found your nephew's body.
He's been murdered.

[ Clears Throat ] Yeah.
According to
the coroner's intern,

the bullet, apparently,
went directly through the heart,

fired at extremely close range,
as indicated by the gunpowder traces.

Total envelopment ofthe body
by rigor mortis,

which is, of course, you know, sir,
fixed to the time of death
at about 1 0 to 1 2 hours ago.

The caliber ofthe bullet
still to be determined,
following the autopsy.

Uh, remove the body, men.
Is that all right with you, sir?.

Pronto.
Snap to it. Move it.

Call me soon as you've
got it loaded. I'll come along.

I want that autopsy report
quick as I can get it, sir.

Lieutenant.

Lieutenant, as you've
probably noticed,

there are three cups,
three plates, three different
brands of cigarettes.

That means there were
two persons here
besides the victim.

That's obvious.
Yeah--

Awfully obvious.

[ Columbo ]
I understandyou were
his receptionist forawhile.

Who told you?.

Well, his wife sort of mentioned it--
uh, mentioned your name--

Her?. I can just imagine.

Strike that from the record.
Oh, sure.

Don't worry about it.
[ Sniffles ]

That's a goodpicture ofTony
right there, isn't it?

Oh, I know what you're thinking.

The secret love life
of the murdered man, huh?.

[ Sniffles ]
Well, we sort oflike
to contact people who knew him,

regardless in what way,
and I understand thatyou two
have been acquainted for a good--

Well, you get this straight,
Lieutenant. There was no love affair.

I don't care who told you what,
there just wasn't any.

Well, did you see him?.

Miss West,
I'm not here to hurtya.

And I believe everything you tell me.
I just thinkyou can help me,

and I'dappreciate it
ifyou would cooperate.

Now, why did he come here
at night?.

His wife played around.

So, he'd come here
and he'd tell her so.

Half to try to make herjealous,
and halfto show her that...

he didn't really care
that she played around.

Care?. He cared, all right.

He'd sit here--
right whereyou are now-- talk.

Did he talk a lot about money?.

I mean, lately.
Maybe, uh--

He was always going broke
from his allowance
from some trust thing, I guess.

Did he talk about that--
that trust fund?.

[ Sighs ]
Well, how should I know?.

When Tonywas drinking--
It's like the other night--

No.

Nope.
What about the other night?.

No, I said. Look, Tony's dead now.
Why should people--

Miss West, believe me,

it's a lot better foryou
to tell me something now,

then to have to tell it
in front of a jury later on.

In front ofwhat?.
I'm not tryin' to scareya,

and I believe everything
you tell me--

I mean, about the love affair--
I belive everything.

I thinkyou're
a very honest person.

Thanks.
Now, what about
the other night?.

[ Sighs ]

Well, there's this gentleman
that his wife was getting
serious about.

I don't know who.
Tony said he made a living
getting a suntan--

whatever that is.

And then,
about three nights ago,

Tony came in here and he said
everything's gonna be okay...

because--

- Because why?.
- Because the gentleman had agreed...

to go away and not to see
Tony's wife ever again if--

ifTony--

ifTonygave him $50,000.

Where was he gonna get the $50,000?.
Did he tell you that?.
Well, howshould I know?

I mean, I was just tryin'
to pour coffee in him.

Honest, sir, I just don't know
any more than that.

Gloria, in your opinion,

was Tony the kind of man
that would arrange
for a fake kidnapping?.

Arrange forwhat?.
A fake kidnapping.

To raise the money
in order to break that trust.

Because ifhe did,
whoever helped him do it
might be the man who killed him.

Oh, look,

I-I-I mean, I said hewasn't
a very strong person,

but then, who is?.

I mean, look at me.
I eat carbohydrates all the time.

Please, sir, leave me alone now.

Stop asking me about Tony.

See, I just never met another man
my whole life...

who only wanted to talk.

I understand.
Thankyou very much.

[ Sniffles ]

Hello, sir. Is this you,

Mr. Goodland, to whom I speak?.

[Cathy]
Istilldo not understandyou,
Lieutenant.

Just what is it
that you're trying to imply?.

Nothing, ma'am.
It's just that you've been
hard to locate at various times.

Uh, oh.

You still don't approve
of my lifestyle, doyou?.

I told you before,
I really don't care
whatyou think.

It's about time.
Where'd he come from?.

Homicide, ofcourse.
Oh, theyhandle morals now.

- He's objecting to the places I go.
- No, ma'am, that's not true.

Uh, look, Lieutenant Columbo,
this is, uh--

this is her boat, but it's me
that brought her down here.

Take her away from the house,
give her a change ofthoughts.

Well, listen, I think that's
a terrific idea. It's such
a great day for sailing--

I mean, ifyou like boats.
It'sjust the night ofthe murder.

- That's all I wanna ask about.
- Well, what about it, Lieutenant?.

Well, sir, uh--
What's your first name?.

- Ken.
- Ken, we have a very efficient officer.

His name is Freddie Wilson,
and he happened to report...

that Mrs. Goodland's car
was gone from the house...

about the same time
that her husband was killed.

So, you came down here
to accuse me of murder?.
No, ma'am.

It's only that--

Well, you see, something new
has come up and, uh,

I have to get rid
of all these little things first.

I was out... with Ken.

We took a nice, long drive...

andyou can make
whateveryou like out ofthat.

Myworry forTony did not require
my staying around the house
until his return...

on pins or needles.

Yes, ma'am. Yes.
I mean, I figured that.

You knowsomething,
Mrs. Goodland?

You're a very unusual person.

You're not a hypocrite,

and I'm not gonna botheryou
anymore with these things.

Okay, Charlie, let's cast off.

Oh, there's one little thing, um--

You know, this is gonna sound
kindofsilly, I guess.

Take it forwhat it's worth.

You see, somebody tried to convince me
that you had a lover, Mrs. Goodland.

Not onlythat, this person,
Gloria West-- Young girl,
that was her name, Gloria West.

Anyway, she said that, uh,
this mysterious lover ofyours,

some guy with a deep suntan,

that he'd go away and get out
ofyour life forever...

ifyour husband gave him
$50,000.

I'm sure it'sjust
malicious gossip.

I probablyshouldn't
have mentioned it.

However,

for what it's worth.

[Doorbell Chimes ]

[ Bell J ingling ]

[ Bell J ingling ]

Mr. Goodland.

[Ringing]

Mr. Goodland.
Ah, Miss West.

I'm sorry I couldn't
meet you sooner.

You said you wanted
to speak to me alone.

Yes, sir. It's a--
It's-- Oh.

Gee, it's kind of spooky
in here, isn't it?.

You don't like orchids?.
Oh, really,
they're my favorite corsage.

Indeed! You said something
on the phone about seeing
Tony the other night.

Yes, sir, and since
you're his relative...

and you've been so polite
the couple oftimes we've met--

Anyway, this detective
came to call this afternoon.
Oh.

Rumpled raincoat?.
Rumpled face?.
That's him.

A lieutenant!

Of course, I didn't
tell him everything--

about Tony and me,
I mean.

And some ofit I didn't
even think of until later.

- Some ofwhat, Miss West?.
- Well, I think that...

he thinks that maybe
Tony's kidnapping...

wasn't a real kidnapping at all.

I beg your pardon?.
Like, maybe, Tony did it himself...

to try to get some money
out ofhis trust fund.

And, as a matter offact,
Tony did mention to me...

that he might be able
to get me a new car pretty soon.

And you believed his usual
drunken promises?.

Uh, well, no,
not really, I guess.

Tell me more
about Columbo's little theory.

I suppose my nephew
also murdered himself.

No! That was whoever
helped Tony, I guess,

and now that person has got
all that ransom money too.

Mm, it sounds quite absurd to me.

Tell me, why did you come to me
with all this nonsense?.

Oh, but it's not, maybe,
because I also remembered--

Well, a long time ago--
Oh, gosh, over a year ago--

Tony told me--
Well, see, on the radio
I heard that Tonywas killed...

by a bullet
from a :32-caliber gun.

Yes?.
Well, a long time ago,
like I said,

Tonytold me he had a :32
that he'd given away,

and I remember now
who he told me he gave it to.

And whowas that, Miss West?.
His wife.

Well, don'tyou see
how that fits?.

Maybe she and Tony
planned the kidnapping together.

I betshe never even got
that threateningphone call
she told the police about.

So, after the ransom was paid,
she brought in her boyfriend
and killed him--

Uh, Tony, I mean,
not the boyfriend.

And so they split the ransom
and she gets the estate...

and nobody's the wiser,
except me.

And, now, me.
But why me rather
than the police?.

Oh, I don't know.
I always feel funny
around policemen.

And, anyway, it's you who's
in charge ofTony's trust, isn't it?.

In conjunction with the bank,
yes.

Well, the radio says
there will be a reward...

forwhoever gets
that ransom money back--

$30,000 reward--
and I'm claiming it.

I'm gonna help put that
woman in prison and get paid
$30,000 for it too.

I'm sureyou will, my dear.
And you're quite right
about the police,

especiallythat stupid lieutenant.

Now, why don'tyou let me
handle things for awhile, hmm?.

Oh, well, butyou won't
forget about me, will ya?.

I mean, the reward.
Miss West,
I'll never forgetyou.

Now, you just run along
while I make some phone calls,

and when the time comes
foryou to giveyour information
to the proper authorities,

I'll be in touch.
Thankyou.

[Sheets Rustling]

[ Sighs ]

[Sirens Wailing In Distance ]

[Sirens Approaching]

[ Car Door Closes ]

- [ Bell J ingling ]
- Mr. Goodland, sir,
I came over as quickly as I could.

As soon as I received your message.
Thankyou, Sergeant.
Thankyou.

I heard your sirens
from quite a ways off.

Now, I would appreciate it
ifyou would hand this gun
toyour ballistics experts.

I rummaged around for quite
some time this evening,

and I finally found it
in a wall safe in my bedroom.

Uh, I don't understand.
Well, you see,

when I told your
Lieutenant Columbo...

that I'd owned a :32, but I hadn't
seen it for several months,

he immediately leapt to accusations
that that possibly could be the gun
that killed my nephew.

Now, I resent that implication,
Sergeant.

Well, sir,

different officers do have
their different methods.

I must say, the lieutenant's
investigatory procedures do differ
somewhat from my own.

Well, that speaks verywell
foryou, Sergeant Wilson.
Well, thankyou very much.

Now, I've heard things which cast
an entirely different light
on my nephew's death.

Things so incredible
I can hardly believe them.

Let's go into the house,
shall we?.

Now, I feel it my duty to...

tell these things as I see them.

How doyou wantyour chili,
Lieutenant, with orwithout beans?.

Last night I had it with beans?.
Right.

Have itwithout beans--
variety.
All right.

Lieutenant,
what areyou doing here?.
Just ordering some chili.

Would you excuse us, please?.

Sir, didn'tyou get my report
on theJarvis Goodland statement?.

Yes. I found that
very interesting.

Very interesting.
That gun he gaveyou,

checked out okay
with Ballistics, huh?.

Sure. Of course.

Sir, uh, he's cracked
the case for us.

I have a search warrant
and two units right here
ready to go.

Ifwe turn Catherine Goodland's
place upside down, I guaranteeyou
we'll find that murderweapon.

We'll find it.
You really think so?.

Well, unless she's already
gotten rid ofit.
Tell you what.

You go ahead.

Go ahead on your own.
You find anything,
you let me know.

Well, sir, ifyou don't mind
my taking charge for a moment.
Not at all.

Thankyou, sir.
Good luck toyou.

Charlie, pull 'em out!
[ Engines Starting ]

Who's that?.
Wilson?.

Oh, very nice fella.

Been a big help to me
on this case.

[Voices On Police Radio,
Indistinct]

You needn't have bothered
about a search warrant, Sergeant.

All you had to do was to ask.

The pistol's right here
where I always keep it.

Would you take it out
for us, please?.
[ Chuckles ]

Well, it isn't here.

I can see that.

Well, this can't be.

I saw it last night and I haven't
opened this drawer since then.

What's this all about, Sergeant?.

The murder ofyour husband,
Mrs. Goodland.

Grover, bring in the troops.

[Beeping]

Jarvis, what doyou want?.

I was concerned aboutyou,
my dear.

Haveyou called your lawyer?.
[Wilson ]
Mrs. Goodland?

Oh, I'm glad to see
that you're here.
She may need someone.

Mrs. Goodland,
you recognize this?.

Well, yes, it was Tony's.

- And this?.
- Tony's.

And how about this?.
The ransom bag.

Well, it certainly looks like it.
Good heavens, Cathy.

- I don't get it.
- Well, it was under a pile
ofChristmas decorations...

in the storage closet.

Mrs. Goodland, I think
it's mydutyto informyou--
Nowjust a moment!

I n all fairness to the lady,
when I said that looked like
the ransom bag,

that didn't mean I could
positively identify it.

It's a very common type.
But, sir, it answers the description
in every particular--

- Nevertheless, we must be sure.
- We?.

Sir, ifthere's anything else
here at all, I'll find it.

Grover, back upstairs.

Excuse me.

[ Beeping ]

Sergeant, formymoney,
thatpistol is longgone.

Grover, you and I know that
a pro drops the gun immediately,

but we're dealing with amateurs.

I'm guessing that
they're gonna hide the gun
somewhere close by.

Nothing.
Nothing. Nothing.

What about this area over here.
Did you go over this?.

We've been through it
twice already, Sergeant.
Well, go over it again.

[ Beeping ]
Come on. Let's go.

[ Beeping Rapidly]
What's that?.

Shoes with metal trees
in them, Sergeant.
That's all.

That's what's making
the buzzing.
Okay.

Look, there's a linen closet
out in the hall.
Go check over that.

- Wait a minute.
Did you open all ofthese?.
- No, sir, there was no point in it.

Well, let's open them.

Hold it.

Hmm.
[ Chuckles ]

Grover.

Crime lab. Pronto. Have Ballistics
check the pistol against the two bullets
they've got, then call me, understand?.

Don'tyou want me to check
with Lieutenant Columbo?.
I'm in charge here, Grover.

Ifthat's the murderweapon,
I'll take Mrs. Goodland into custody.
Step on it.

[ Slaps Back]
[ Mouths Words ]

[Crashing]

[Rattling]

What the devil
areyou doing here?

Oh, just sort ofkilling time,
looking around.

You know, sir, I could--
I could turn into a real orchid fancier
since I metyou.

Will you tell me
whatyou're doing here?.

It's very serious, sir.

There's been a new
development in the case.
Yes, I know.

They found the murderweapon
in Cathy's house.
I just came from there.

Things certainly
look bad for her.
They certainly do, sir.

That's why I'm waiting here
for the lab report.

I'm hoping to straighten
a few things out.

Look, it's 3:00 in the morning,
Lieutenant. Will you tell me
whatyou're doing here?.

I bumped over this empty pot
and displaced some ofthe soil here.
I'm sorry about the mess, sir.

- I'll see to it that it gets cleaned up.
- Look, forget that!

Will you tell me whyyou're here?.

To tell you the truth, sir,
I didn't expectyou back so soon.

Oh!

Don't wanna forget this.

- You have a real green thumb, sir.
- I what?.

This African violet of mywife's,

you know there's actually
a flower growing out ofthere.

Now, I don't know whatyou did,
but whatever it was, that's a miracle.

Lieutenant, it's been
a trying evening...

and I'm quite distressed.

Now, will you please take
your African violet
and get out ofhere!

[ Car Approaching]
Wait a minute.
I hear something.

[ CarDoorOpens ]

That could be the man
I'm waiting for.

Grover!

Grover, is thatyou?
Lieutenant, I don't understand.

I was halfway downtown
with Mrs. Goodland
when we were ordered back here.

I'm sorry, Sergeant,
I didn't mean to runyou
around town like that.

Mrs. Goodland, how are you?.
You must be exhausted.

Would you like to sit down?.
No. No, I'll stand.
Thankyou.

Uh, let me get you a chair.

You'll be more comfortable.
I knowyou've been up all night.

Well, I think they'll be
plenty oftime to rest in jail,
don'tyou?.

Sergeant, has this lady
actually been arrested?.

Well, I, uh-- Sir, I phoned my report
into Captain Ritchie.

He was quite complimentary.
She'll be charged, as soon as we--

No, Sergeant.
No. Mrs. Goodland--

Damn it, Columbo!
What's this all about?.

Well, you see, sir, I'm waiting here
for some things from Headquarters.
Ifyou'll all just bearwith me.

What sort ofthings?.
[Grover]
Lieutenant!

- Lieutenant Columbo!
- Oh.

Oh. Here you are, Lieutenant.
Thankyou. Thankyou very much.

Excuse me forjust a moment.

Yes. I have some bullets here.

This one is from the wrecked car.

A :32-caliber, proven by Ballistics...

to have been fired
from the murderweapon.

This one is from the body
of the victim,

also :32-caliber,
and proven by Ballistics...

to have been fired
from the same weapon
as the first bullet.

We know all about that.
Tell him, young man.

Both-- Both ofthose
came from the gun
that was found in her house.

And Sergeant Grover
said they confirmed it
as the murderweapon.

Right. That's quite right.

Sergeant, I don't want you
to feel badly,

because without you,
I'd never have gotten this idea.

I mean, those technical things
thatyou're so good at.

You see,

I've never used
a metal detector before.

That's why it took me
nearly an hour.

But,you know,
these things really work.

Amazing.

You see that?.

- What is it?.
- Third bullet.

Also a.32-caliber,
andalso proven by Ballistics...

to have been fired
by the same weapon...

that fired the first two bullets.

Mr. Goodland, I just don't know
how you're gonna explain this.

But why should I have to--

That's right.

That's right, sir.
That's what I was doing over there
a little while ago.

I found this third bullet...

buried here in this pile of dirt.

I guess it was one ofthose bullets
thatyou fired at that guy
who broke in here a year ago.

You said you only hit dirt.

I don't know
howyou're gonna explain, sir,

how the same gun that fired
this bullet in the dirt,

ended up tonight
in Mrs. Goodland's dressing room.

Sergeant, would you take
Mr. Goodland downtown, please?.

Mr.Jarvis Goodland,
it's my duty to inform you
that anything you--you might--

This way sir.

[ Sighs ]

Mrs. Goodland,
would you allow me
to driveyou home?.

[ Laughs ]
Thankyou, Lieutenant.

Oh! One moment.

Ifl forget this,
mywife will kill me.