All language subtitles for Columbo - Season 1 episode 1-Okayat

What about a composer?

I am not, uh, Irving Berlin.

More classical than that?

No, I am not Berlioz.

Another one.

I am not Brahms.

Are you a famous New York conductor?

No, I am not Leonard Bernstein.

Are you a famous murderer?

Good try, I am not Lizzie Borden.

I hope you stump him, darling,
because I am running out of B's.

All right, are you a well known
18th century English jurist?

Typical lawyer's question, Burt.

No, I'm not Sir William Blackstone...
Cynthia.

I pass.

You know, every time we play Botticelli
with you I feel like a dropout.

Do I see the flutter of white flags?

Go ahead...tell us who it is.

No, no, no, please!
Let's keep guessing.

We'll be here all night.

Come on, Ray.

It's very simple...Josef Breuer.

Who?

Breuer. He and Freud co-authored
"Studies on Hysteria."

That's unfair! Dr.Flemming,
you're a psychiatrist.

You should've picked someone
everyone knew.

Well, like who, honey?

Last time we played the game you were
stumped by Alexander Graham Bell.

Has my husband finished dazzling you
with his intelligence?

Because I have a little surprise for
everyone. Everyone ready?

Henri at the Denise found out about
our anniversary.

He insisted.

I insist we get at this while
it's cold.

I think a toast is in order.

To our host and hostess...

On the tenth anniversary of their
horrible mistake.

You'd better rephrase that, counselor.

Pleasure, your honor...

To the two finest people I ever knew.

Here's to ten more years of happiness.

Excuse me.

Hello?

Now?

Can't it wait?

We're having a party here.

I'll be there as soon as I can.

Believe me, anything Henri chooses is
superb.

He's got the best wine cellar in town.

Excuse me.

What is it darling?

It's a patient.
I'm afraid I have to leave.

This is our anniversary.

But it's an emergency.
He's having an anxiety attack.

You're not a family doctor.

You don't have to go chasing off...

...every time somebody runs out of
tranquilizers.

Darling, we've been through this
before...

I won't allow you to leave.
We have guests...

And they shouldn't see us arguing,
should they?

Make my excuses. I'll try to get back
before they leave.

Do you love me?

How much?

This much...

Well, actually, I should be strangling
you.

Why?

You know I was giving a party.

I had to see you...

When I'm alone...I don't know,
I...I get confused.

Second thoughts?

A few.

It's a natural reaction...
under the circumstances.

I keep wishing there were
some other way.

There isn't.

But if you talk to her.
If I talk to her.

Joan, don't be naive.

We have one alternative.
We decided that a long time ago.

It's funny...I can't even picture what
she looks like.

Are we really so different?

Completely.

All right, I'm younger than she is,
I'm prettier.

But she's probably more intelligent
than I am.

It's a kind of destructive
intelligence.

Why me?
What have I got to offer?

A typical actress...

Too many bit parts
and too much ambition.

I like ambition.

For all the good it's done me.

It brought you to me, didn't it?

With my nails gnawed off and
every neurosis in the book.

I was in great shape, wasn't I?

It's not a bad shape at all.

Ray...

Ray, you do love me, don't you?

Very much.

I won't disappoint you tomorrow.

I never thought you would.

I didn't think you'd be up.

Don't bother to undress.

You're sleeping in the guest room.
I've turned down the bed.

Carol.

I think you should know I'm calling
my lawyers in the morning.

It's been a long day.
Do we have to start on that again?

You'll have to indulge me just this
one last time, deary.

It's lucky for you.
I'm too well-bred to throw a tantrum.

All right...fire away.

Six months ago I gave you a choice...

...between me and your...
how shall I put it...

Extracurricular activity.

I made that choice.

I wanted a husband in fact,
not just in appearance.

If you refused I'd divorce you.

There was a catch to that, as I recall.

Well, naturally. You don't think
I'm going to make it easy for you?

I'd create as much scandal as I
possibly could...

and ruin your practice, entirely.

Aside from taking every penny that
I've got.

Those were my terms.
You accepted them...

...until tonight.

Carol, none of this is necessary.

I told you.
I was with a patient.

Till one in the morning? What are you
doing, giving discount rates?

On my way home I dropped by
to see Dr.Cobb.

He was the referral psychoanalyst
and we discussed the case.

Do you really expect me to believe
that?

Call him.

What's that gonna prove?
He's a friend of yours.

But his wife is a friend of yours,
talk to her.

Hang up, hang up...

I haven't seen Cobb
for two weeks.

Then you've been lying to me.

Not the way you think.

Well I guess, the game's up...

I stopped by the hospital
to see Dr. Rosales.

We talked about the trip you and I
were going to take to Acapulco.

Acapulco?

Yeah, we leave tomorrow night.

Well, I thought we could use
a couple of days in the sun.

Just you and me.

Happy anniversary, darling.

Oh, Ray, darling.

That's why I stopped in to see
Rosales.

He's from Mexico and I thought maybe
he could...

...fill me in on what to do
when we got there.

Why didn't you tell me?

Well, I was saving it for breakfast.
I wanted it to be a surprise.

And I almost ruined it.

Oh, darling.

So you're going to have
a big day tomorrow.

Why don't you get some sleep.

I think I'll read for a while.

Ray...

You can go in now, Miss Hudson.

Thank you.

Oh, darling, you're tense.

A little.

Did you get any sleep last night?

No...Well, maybe an hour or two.

Take one of these when you get home.

What are they?

Sleeping pills. I want you to
get some rest this afternoon.

I can't. I'm working.

This is an odd time to be pursuing
your career, isn't it?

How many chances do I get?

It's a good part.

Let's concentrate on the part you're
playing tonight.

Do you think it'll fit?

Might be a little big.

Noticeably?

No, I don't think so.

Shall I take it home with me?

No, I don't want you wearing it
until it's necessary.

This photograph is the best one
I have of her.

In the others, she's standing off in the
distance or wearing sunglasses.

Notice the makeup.

She uses a heavy eyebrow pencil.

What about the wig?

I'll get it from the studio makeup
department today.

They'll never know it's missing.

Good, you take that along with you
as reference,

But be sure you bring it back
tonight...

Well, what about the timing?

I'll be at your apartment
at nine o'clock.

But no sooner.

How do you get there?

Car?

You're testing me?

Do you mind?

No, I suppose we both have to be
sure about things.

I won't drive, I'll come by bus.

I'll get off a few blocks away and
walk.

Right.

Use the back entrance to the garage,
then take the service elevator.

The apartment number?

You're in the penthouse.
I ring the bell twice.

Anything else?

Joan?

The sunglasses.

Good girl.

And a large purse for the dress.

Are you sure of everything?
Should I do it over again?

No, I don't what to talk about it
any more.

Oh, but it'll be fine.
I promise you.

Just pretend you're working
on a role...right down to the props.

I'll see you tonight.

Ten o'clock?
Thank you very much.

The plane's leaving on schedule.

Then you'd better hurry.

Oh, darling, let's not rush.

Here, let me help you with that.

You're a brilliant man, but you're not
very mechanical.

That's what wives are for.

That and other things.

Burt Gordon called today.

Anything important?

No, just to wish us a pleasant trip.

He could use a vacation himself,
you know.

He's prosecuting two new cases
next month.

Well, that's what he gets for having
political ambitions...

Do you remember him when he was in
law school?

Vaguely.

I never saw anybody work so hard...
including you.

I didn't have to.
My wife had a rich father.

And you married me for my money.

Not yours, darling.
Your father's.

I like to think you loved me a little.
Didn't you?

Of course I did...

Is the maid coming tomorrow?

As far as I know.

Why don't you give her a call and check?
Sometimes she forgets.

All right.

Oh, say did you see my blue dress?
My blue wool?

My blue wool dress.

I was going to take it on the trip.
I can't find anywhere.

Maybe you sent it to the cleaners.

Oh, no...it should be in the closet.
Where is that address book?

Charlotte...this is Mrs.Flemming.

I just wanted to be sure
you'll be in tomorrow.

Good.

Oh, don't forget to water
the plants, huh?

You've got your key, huh?

Good.

Oh, yes, we will.
Thank you very much. Bye.

She's coming in at ten.

Good.

Drink, darling?

No. Set it down, will you?

Such a beautiful night, isn't it?

I hadn't noticed.

Perfect weather for flying.
You can see for miles.

Do you know what I was thinking?

What?

When we get back we must redecorate.

The place looks cold...it should
have warmer colors.

Maybe we should buy some paintings of
soup cans.

If you think so.

You'd like that, wouldn't you?

We're going to have such a
wonderful time the next few days.

Does your secretary know
where you're going?

Only that we're in Mexico.
No specifics.

Good.
Complete privacy.

We're going to have a nice quiet
weekend.

You'd better close the doors
and change.

Our second honeymoon may be better
than our first.

Hello?

Oh...hello, Burt, how are you?

Well, yeah, Carol told me you called...

Fine, fine, we're just leaving...

Oh, no, she's uh...she's dressing.

Yes, I'll tell her.

I'd better be going now, Burt.
Give our love to Cynthia, will you?

All right.

Joan!

Did anyone see you come up?

There's a drink on the bar.
Take it.

No, I

Take it!

And I want you to wear these gloves.

Don't, please. I don't need a drink.
I'll be all right.

Be careful not to touch anything.

Did you bring the photograph?

The wig?

Yes, some shoes to go with the dress.

Very good.

Put this on.
Come on get ready.

It looks fine.

It won't fool anybody.

Don't be negative.

Suppose we meet someone who knows
your wife?

I don't even look like her.

People see what they expect to see.
It's the principle of association.

You're dressed like Carol and you're
travelling with me...

That means you are my wife.

Are we ready?

Not yet.
Make your call to the cleaners.

What are you waiting for?

Well...won't they be closed this time
of night?

They're open till midnight.

Rodeo Cleaners? This is...

This is Mrs.Flemming, Cumberland
Apartments on Wilshire.

I have a bundle of laundry and some
things to clean...

It'll be outside the door.

I'm leaving it outside the door.

Will you have someone pick it up
first thing in the morning?

Thank you.

Fine. The sunglasses.

Where are they?

I know I have them.

Good.

Now, put these on.

Why?

She always wore them with that dress.

When you get back from the airport,

add the her dress and the gloves
to that bundle.

What about the wig?

I'll return it Monday.
No one will know I have it.

Fine.

Are you ready?

I think so.

Let's get started.

The light.

Dr. and Mrs.Ray Flemming,
ticket on 12-A.

Thank you.

Wait, you're 13 pounds
overweight, Doctor.

Put it on my credit card, will you?

Mrs.Flemming.

Carol.

Mrs.Flemming...

Yes?

Will you be carrying any
hand luggage aboard?

No.

Will you sign here please, Doctor?

Thank you very much.

That'll be at Gate 35 boarding in
about three minutes.

Have a pleasant trip, sir.

Thank you.

Flight number 12-A for Acapulco
is in the final boarding...

process at Gate number 35.

Passengers having reservations
for this flight should be on board.

May I have your names, please?

Dr. and Mrs.Flemming.

Ah, aisle 3, seats A and B.

Thank you.

Remember...don't call or try to get
in touch with me.

I'll reach you.

When will I see you?

Not for a while.
At least a week.

Ray, I'm worried.

Don't be.
Just try to get some rest.

And don't read the papers,
they'll upset you.

Shall we get started?

What should I say?

You're an actress, darling.
Improvise.

If you feel that way, why'd you
agree to come along?

It's a good question!
I really don't know.

You never wanted to take this trip
in the first place.

Can you blame me?

What am I supposed to do...sit in our
room while you go fishing?

Maybe you'd rather not go at all!

Maybe I wouldn't!

Fine. Spend the weekend
with your friends.

Run up a nice bar bill.

Leave my friends out of this!

Will you lower your voice?
People are listening.

I don't care who's listening!
I wasn't the one that started this.

You're making a scene.

Oh, this is impossible!

What do you think you're doing?

Isn't it obvious?
I'm leaving!

Carol, don't be a fool.

Have they shut the door yet?

No, ma'am, but we're just about to...

Enjoy yourself. I'm sure
you'll have a better time without me.

Carol!

Is there anything I can do, sir?

No, let her go.

Miguel, why don't you fix us some lunch?
I'm starving.

Doctor Flemming?

Who are you?

Lieutenant Columbo, police.

I don't understand.

What's happened here?

Where's my wife?

Maybe you'd better sit down.
I've got some bad news for you.

Has something happened to Carol?

You sure you don't want to sit down?

Has she been in an accident?

Not exactly...

Well, what is it?
Tell me.

Well...somebody broke in here and
tried to kill her.

Tried to kill her?

That's right, Doctor.
She's lucky, she's still alive.

She's still alive...

Well, where is she now?

She's at the hospital.

You're sure you don't want a drink?
Water, brandy or something?

No, no, I want to know how she is.

Is she conscious?
Has she been able to say anything?

I'm afraid not.
She's been in a coma.

What's her condition, right now?

Oh, come on!
I must know the truth.

It's not very good, Doctor.

We only hope she comes to long
enough to be able to talk to us.

I've got to see her!

Don't you think you ought to rest a
while?

After all, it's been quite a shock...

Well you can understand.

My wife's in hospital.
She may be dying.

I want to see her.

All right.
I've got a car downstairs.

I don't want to talk to anyone, now.

Might be the hospital, Doctor.
They know I'm here.

Hello?
This is Dr.Flemming.

Darling, I just had to talk to you.
The newspapers...

No, I...I can't keep any
appointments today.

Why don't you come in Friday at two?

My secretary will verify it.

Ray...is there someone with you?

They expect me to be on call
at all hours.

Same with me, Doc.

Nurse, I'm Dr.Flemming.

My wife is a patient here.
I'd like to see her.

I'm afraid she's on the critical list.

She's not permitted to have any
visitors.

Miss, I'm a Doctor!

I'm sorry, but my orders...

Is Dr.Lansbury still Chief of staff
here?

Tell him that Dr.Ray Flemming is here
and would like to see him.

He may be in surgery, Doctor.

But you wouldn't know that unless
you check, would you mind?

Dr.Lansbury, please, reception.

There's a Dr.Flemming here.
He insists on seeing his wife.

Yes, thank you.

He's being paged.

Thank you.

Hospital red tape.

Yeah, I know what you mean, Doctor.

Well, let's get on with it.

Get on with what?

Your red tape...

This thief, did he leave any traces?

Oh, no. Not a thing. But of course
we might be able to run him down,

when he tries to sell the stuff
he stole.

We can't be sure, but we think maybe
he stole some of your wife's jewelry,

and some other things.

Listen Doc, when you get a chance,

Would you make out a list of
what was stolen?

Of course.

And then, we can check with
the fences and the pawn shops.

Who knows, you know,
something might turn up.

Oh, a few questions for my
report, Doc...

Now, you were in Mexico
when this thing took place.

And the dates, they were...

You don't have a pencil, do you?

Thanks.

You know, my wife, she gives me one
every morning, and uh...

I just can't seem to hold on to it.

Oh yes...Now, we know you were in
Mexico...

But the local police down there
they couldn't seem to locate you.

Yes, I was in a little village about
20 miles from Acapulco.

It was very quiet and relaxing.

And hardly any telephones.

Dr. Lansbury, call
reception desk, please.

I ah...I suppose you know about what
happened on the plane.

Yeah, yeah, we talked with the
airline people.

And they told us that you and
your wife checked in.

Boy, that really threw us.

But then of course we contacted the
stewardess and she explained what happened.

Yes, it was my fault.

We had an argument on the plane,
something ridiculous.

I never thought that she'd actually
leave.

Yeah, she probably went home and
went right to bed.

I guess the attack was
close to midnight.

I mean, we know she was at the
airport at ten o'clock.

Lieutenant, if there's any further way
that I can be of assistance to you.

Oh, no, no, you just make out
that list. That'll be fine, Doc.

Oh, oh, one more thing before I
forget.

I had to borrow a photograph
the other day. I hope you don't mind.

A photograph?

Yeah, a picture of you and your wife.

We had to have something to show the
stewardess. For identification.

I see.

She was still out of town, but we
contacted her by phone.

And we sent the picture down by
Wire photo.

And?

She identified your wife.

The picture wasn't too clear
but she recognized her.

Ray!

I was hoping to find you here.
Are you all right?

I'm holding up, I suppose.

I just don't know what to say.
It's terrible.

We just saw her at your party.

I know.

What happened on Friday?

When I called, the two of you were
getting ready to leave.

We had an argument on the plane.
Suddenly Carol decided she wasn't going.

She walked off.

I shouldn't have let her...

You can't blame yourself.
How could you possibly have known.

Have you heard anything yet?

Not yet, Doctor.

Lieutenant Columbo.

My name's Gordon. I'm with the
District Attorney's office.

Yes, sir, I know.

I appreciate it, anything you
can do for Dr.Flemming.

He's a good friend of mine.

I'll try.

Ray, we're going to find the man
that is responsible for this.

As soon as Carol gets better and
can give us a full description.

By the way, Cynthia wants you to
spend the next few days with us.

Let me think about it, will you.

I understand.

Dr.Flemming?

Dr.Lansbury on the phone.

Hello, Doctor.

There's something I want you
to do for me.

Any progress so far?

Well, it's still a little early, but...

Sooner or later something
usually breaks.

Let's make that sooner.
Right, Lieutenant?

Try my best.

I'm sure you will.

I don't think I have to remind
you that this could be...

quite the little feather in your cap.

Wrap it up and everybody is happy.

Lieutenant?

Oh, I'm sorry. I was uh...

I was just thinking about something.

What was that?

No, it's nothing important. It's uh...

Dr.Flemming, he didn't call to his wife
when he came back to his apartment.

I don't follow you.

Well, I was in the bedroom
I was checking some things,

And I heard him open the front door.
And he didn't say anything...

Gee, it's funny how people are different,
isn't it?

Now, you take myself,
when I come home from a trip, uh...

First thing I do is,
I say, "Honey? You here?"

Exactly what is your point,
Lieutenant?

Point?

I wasn't making a point.

It sounded to me as if you were.

You heard the man admit that
he had an argument with his wife.

He probably still had a chip on his
shoulder this morning.

I was only...

Lieutenant, I have already told you
that...

Dr.Flemming is a close
personal friend of mine.

Now I hope he's not going to be annoyed
by a lot of...

...tactless remarks,
especially at a time like this.

Well, I'm sorry Mr.Gordon. I guess
I shouldn't have mentioned it.

They're letting me go up
to see her.

Good.
You need company?

No, I'd rather be with her alone.

I'll have to go with you, Doc.

Why?

We got a man on the door.

Uh...it's all right, officer.
This is her husband.

I'm sorry, Lieutenant.
Nobody's allowed in right now.

Why not?

She's conscious.
The doctor's with her.

Well, maybe we got lucky.

Oh, Doctor...I'm the patient's
husband. Is she...all right?

I'm sorry...she passed away.

Did she...did she say anything?

If it's any consolation, one thing
she said was your name...

Getting some fresh air?

I was on my way back from lunch.

Well, as a matter of fact, I was headed
toward your office myself.

Do you mind if I walk along?

Not at all.

Any news?

No, nothing much, Doctor.

We're just sorta waiting around...

...until our friend tries to
get rid of the jewelry.

I'd imagine he'd hold on to it
for a while.

Yeah, probably.

Have I had any calls, Miss Petrie?

Five or six.
I left a list on your desk.

First day back and everyone wants me
to hold their hands.

You know, I've never been in a
psychiatrist's office before...

...first time.

I keep looking for the couch.

So do my patients.

I keep telling them it's bad
for their posture.

"Bad for their posture,"
that's very good.

I tell you, you put me in a horizontal
position, I'd fall asleep.

Nice office, though.
It seems restful.

I guess it puts people in the mood
to talk.

You know, my sister, she has a
living room...it's very very modern.

Well, the minute you sit down there,
you can't open your mouth.

You know, she's got this big, kidney-shaped
coffee table.

It upsets me just to look at it.

Her husband, he doesn't say anything.

And I figure the coffee table
got to him years ago.

Is there something I can do for you?

No, not really, Doctor. No.

I just came up to bring back
your pen.

I forgot to give it to you
at the inquest.

Thanks. I missed it.

You know, that's my trouble,
I got a bad memory.

My wife tells me I oughtta have
strings on all ten fingers.

Was there anything else you wanted?

Oh no, it's nothing important.
There's one detail that bothers me.

What is it?

It's um...it's about you luggage.

My luggage?

I think you need fluid here.

Oh, no, maybe...

Oh, yeah, well it's quite a flame.

You were talking about my luggage.

Yeah. You took two suitcases
with you, didn't you?

Well. Actually we packed more than
we needed.

I went out to the airport the other
day. You know, just a routine check.

And it seems as though you were
13 pounds overweight.

You know, they keep those records.

Yes, I know.
I charged it on my credit card.

Well, when you came back,

I know, it's a stupid point, Doc,
and it doesn't mean anything.

But you were only
four pounds overweight.

I was wondering what happened
to the other nine pounds?

I don't see what that has to do
with my wife's death.

Oh, it's all part of the job.

You know, just trying to tie
the loose ends together.

You went to a lot of trouble, didn't you?
Going all the way out to the airport.

Forty-five minutes. Boy, that's
quite a place, that airport.

You know, I get lost just walking
around.

Lieutenant, about those nine pounds.

I took along a stack of trade journals
and medical magazines.

You know, it seems I never get a chance
to go through them at the office.

Catchin' up on your reading?

You might say that.

You didn't bring them back, then?

There'd be no reason to.
It was mostly advertising stuff.

And you figure they weighed as much
as nine pounds?

They'd have to. Why else
the weight discrepancy?

Yeah. Well, I guess
that clears that up.

OK Doc, thank you very much.
I'm sorry I bothered you.

No bother at all.

Oh, listen, there's one more thing.

You don't remember what your wife was
wearing that night, do you?

Carol had so many dresses.
Is it important?

Well, yes, in a way, it is.

Let's see now ah yes, she was wearing
a blue wool dress with brass buttons...

If I'm not mistaken.

Yeah, that's what the stewardess
said.

She's back in town, by the way, and
I spoke to her and...

She told me your wife was wearing
a blue wool dress with blue kid gloves.

Well then, that's probably it.

That's funny though, if...

...if she came home from the airport, what
did she do with the dress and gloves?

When we went over to your apartment
last week, we couldn't find them.

Well, they may have been stolen.

Yeah, maybe, maybe.

Did you put those on the list of
stolen items?

Really, Lieutenant, how could you expect
me to notice they were missing?

Still, it's puzzling when you
think about it.

I mean, why would a guy steal
a dress and a pair of gloves?

What are they worth?

People don't always do the rational
thing.

Oh, they sure don't.

You learn a lot about that
in my line.

Well I guess, you do in yours, too.

Oh, excuse me.

Yeah?

Miss Hudson is here, Doctor.

I'll be through in a moment.

I have a patient coming in now,
Lieutenant.

Two o'clock.

Oh, that was the one who called you
at your apartment.

Oh, and you say you have a bad memory.

Well, listen.
It comes and goes, you know.

I'm sorry I couldn't have been
any help to you...

with the dress and gloves, but uh...

Maybe you just missed them
in your search.

Yeah, you're probably right, Doc.

Listen, uh...

Would you mind if I came over this
afternoon and took another look?

What time do you think
you're gonna be home?

Not before five.

Suppose I meet you there
at five-thirty.

If you think it's necessary.

Well, it's just another loose end.
You understand.

You can go in now, Miss Hudson.

Oh, Miss?

Excuse me.
What was your name again?

Joan Hudson. Why?

Sorry to trouble you, Ma'am.

Who was that man out there?

Lieutenant Columbo.
He's a police officer. Why?

He wanted to know my name.

Did you tell him?

What else could I do?

Ray, is something wrong?

He was with me when you called.

I told you not to try to get in touch
with me.

I had to...

...when I read that Carol was
still alive I wanted to warn you.

Well, not to worry about it.

As far as he knows, you're just another
patient on my list.

Now...

Now I am going to call the
cleaners.

You did as I told you, didn't you?

You left Carol's dress and gloves
with the rest of the laundry?

Gloves...?

Yes, dress and gloves.

Well, you know, Joan, I told you.

What is it?

I changed in the restroom
at the airport and...

...put her things in my bag.

Then I went back to your apartment,

and left the dress
with the other laundry.

Go on.

But I...I forgot about the
gloves.

I didn't even think of them
until you mentioned them.

But we went over it.
How many times did I tell you?

I'm sorry.
But what difference does it make?

Is it that important?

Is it that important?
Where are the gloves now?

They're in my other bag at home.
I haven't used it since that night.

Let me think...

We're safe as far as the dress is concerned,
it's at the cleaners.

Now the gloves?

They're small, they could be easily
overlooked. They could be almost anywhere.

Listen, Columbo's coming back
to my apartment.

He wants to make another search.

You go back home, get the gloves,
and come back to my place.

I'll see you there in an hour.

Why can't I just throw them away?

Because I want him to find them.

He'll only be satisfied if all his
loose ends are in place.

But Ray...

Now, you just do as I say, darling.

Hurry!

There you are.

Did you bring them?

Good. Put them on the table.
I'll hide them in her bureau.

Columbo's going to find them
this time...

Would you like a drink?

Please.

Are you angry with me?

Not at all.

I would have to do something foolish.

I kept going over everything
in my mind.

But those stupid gloves.

Don't you worry about it.
We've protected ourselves.

I've missed you.

I'm lucky I was working...it helped
me get through the week.

It's behind us now.

What about that man...that Columbo?

You'll never see him again.

But why does he keep bothering you?

Because Carol's death has been almost
too perfect.

That's what irritates him, it's like
a speck in his eye.

He'd even look for flaws
in the Old Testament.

You don't seem to be very upset about it.

Why should I be?

Whatever he turns up I've got an
answer for him.

Eventually he'll lose interest and
start hounding someone else.

I wish I could feel that sure.

The past two weeks I've been
trying to find...

...an excuse for what we've done...
I haven't been very successful.

Joan...

There was no other option.

Does that justify...?

Yes.

We're in love...

We want a future together. That's
all the justification we need.

Look, this isn't something you just
forget.

Don't let it interfere with
what we have.

I won't.

All we have to do is wait.
I promise I'll make it up to you.

What are you doing here?

Doctor, I...ah...

I just kinda thought I'd save you some
time and look for the stuff myself.

I mean, I just didn't want to
inconvenience you more that I have to.

Don't you people usually require
a search warrant?

I just didn't think
it was necessary, Doctor.

I mean, you gave me permission,
didn't you?

Say, what are you doing here, now?

It bothered me, too.

I wanted to save some time
for both of us.

There are the gloves, Lieutenant.

I found them in one of Carol's
bureau drawers.

Whaddya know about that?
We covered every inch of that bureau.

We must have missed these.

You didn't find the dress by any
chance, did you?

No, I turned the place upside down.
It's not here.

I wonder what she did with it.

I'm afraid I have no idea.

Why don't we both take another look?

Lieutenant...

It's not in the apartment. I went
through every one of the closets.

There's a laundry hamper in the
bedroom, isn't there?

But I just told you...

Well, there's no harm in checking,
is there?

Lieutenant, would you mind getting that?
I don't feel like talking to anyone.

Rodeo Cleaners.

Ah...Doctor.

How much do I owe you?

4.50

Keep the change.

Thank you.

Say, isn't that your wife's dress?

Of course.

She must have put it outside
for the cleaners,

when she got back from the airport.

Yes, that makes sense, it certainly
matches the description.

May I take a look?

Take a good look at it, Lieutenant.

Well, I've gotta get back to my office.

I guess we've both wasted
a lot of time.

Well, listen. I'm sorry about
all of this, Doctor.

I seem to be making a pest of myself.

Yes? Oh, Lieutenant.

It's for you.

Yeah, thanks.

Columbo...yeah...

Who?

Are you sure?

Yeah, whaddya know about that.

All right.

Yes, I'll be right down, yeah.

That does it, Doc.

Does what?

We just got a confession.

A fella just admitted killing your wife.

Listen, I gotta go, ah... If I get
any more information, I'll call you!

Isn't that funny the way those things
happen...

How did you break the window, Tommy?

I had this flashlight.
I knocked it through the glass.

What happened next?

I told you.

She came out.

I didn't think she'd be home.

You mean, Mrs.Flemming.

Yeah.

She was wearin' this nightgown.

Go on.

Well, the second she saw me, she
started to yell her head off.

So I ran over to keep her quiet.

I put my hand over her mouth.

And then I...I just strangled her.

Uh-huh.
Then what happened?

Like I said, I began taking things.

The silverware, a couple of candle holders,
a couple of lighters, and the jewelry.

Did you take any money, Tommy?

Yeah. She had about 30 bucks
in her purse.

What'd you do with the stuff you
stole?

I fenced it.

Where?

Why should I get him in trouble.

What did he give you for it?

Look, Lieutenant, how many times
do we have to go over this?

I told you I killed her,
that oughtta be enough.

Tommy, why that particular apartment?

I saw them leaving with their luggage.

The initials on his bag said R.F.

So I looked at the mail boxes and
I saw Dr.Ray Flemming, penthouse.

The only name that fit the initials.

That was pretty shrewd of you.

How many jobs have you had in the
past few months?

One or two.

If I was working steady, would I be
breaking into apartments?

No, I guess you wouldn't.

All right. That's all.
You can take him out.

That was quick.

Well, you've been very cooperative,
Tommy.

What do you think, Doc?

I don't believe a word he says.

Really? Why?

He knew exactly what was stolen.

He knew how the thief got
into the apartment,

he knew what your wife
was wearing...

So does everyone who reads the
papers.

Yes, that's...
That's true, that's true.

The boy's obviously neurotic.

Some people have an urge to confess
after every murder...

I've even treated a few of them.

They have a compulsion to purge
themselves.

Maybe they just wanna get their names
in the papers.

But the boy's story
does not hold up.

You know, you might be right.

You know, come to think of it,

didn't he say that your wife was screaming
and he put his hand over her mouth.

Then he said he lowered his hands
and he strangled her.

I don't know what you're getting at.

Your wife was strangled from behind.

There were thumb indentations marks on
the back of her neck, not on the front.

Oh, and I checked one more thing, Doc.

Tommy was discharged from the Army
on a Section 8. He's mentally unstable.

If you knew that, why do you ask
what I thought?

Oh, well, I uh...

I just wanted to get another professional
opinion, Doc. I mean... no offense.

I don't have to be a psychiatrist to
know the boy's lying.

Why not?

For one thing I have no initials on
my luggage.

Oh, yeah, I was gonna check that out,

if you told me that you believed
Tommy's story.

I thought you might.

It also occurred to me that you may have
planted this whole Tommy episode.

Now, why on earth would I do
a thing like that?

Oh, that reminds me. Did you do any
fishing while you were in Acapulco?

A little. Why?

Oh, it's nothing important,
it's just that...

I'm a terrific bug on fishing.

My wife and I were looking for place
to take a vacation this summer.

You see, the trouble with places
around here is that uh...

People keep dumping all kinds of thing
off the boats. You know, bottles, cans...

It's a terrible shame, criminal.

And uh...I suppose you don't notice that
in the ocean, do ya? I mean uh...

So big, it'll just swallow everything up.

Tell me, uh...

Those trade journals and
medical books.

Did you take them with you when you
went fishing?

Lieutenant, for the past week
you've been asking me...

...some rather pointless questions.

I'm getting very tired of them.

I'm sorry, Doc.

I just thought a boat's a good place
to get some reading done.

What do my reading habits have to
do with this?

You've been concentrating on
everything...

...but the man who broke into
my apartment.

Is this some new type of police
procedure?

I'm only uh...

I want the man who murdered my wife.
Everything else is irrelevant.

I'm only trying to...

I know. You're only trying to tie up
loose ends.

Well, if you spent a little less time on
loose ends,

maybe you'd come up with
something important.

You know...

Sometimes I get the impression
you think I killed my wife.

You? Oh, no, Doc.

How could you?
You were out of town.

I'm glad you remembered that.

Unless you think I hired someone to
kill her.

The boy who confessed.
Maybe I paid him to do it.

No, Doc, you didn't do that.

How do you know?

I already asked him.

Are you serious?

I am.

He's making an absolute pest of
himself.

Telephone calls, question and
answer sessions...

He's even bothering me at the office.
It's getting ridiculous.

He's probably trying too hard.
I'll have a word with him.

A word won't do it.

Burt, you won't believe this,
but somewhere in the back of his mind,

he thinks I'm involved with
Carol's murder.

You?
You've got to be kidding.

I'm not, and neither is Columbo.

Look, is there some way you can
get him off my back?

Well, if he's pushing that hard.

He is.

I guess I can pull a few strings.

All right, consider it done.

Well, that was painless.

Looks like I owe you a favor.

Forget it.
What are friends for?

Evening, Doctor.

I just stopped by with some news.

I thought you might be interested...

I got taken off the case today.
I'm no longer workin' on it.

Oh...

It happened all of a sudden, too.

I was sitting at my desk and a call
came down from upstairs.

And they told me that they wanted me
to work on something else. Real strange.

And they told me to turn my files
over to Lieutenant Silver,

who's a very nice guy,
but he's young and...

not experienced in this kinda thing.

That's funny...

Here I thought I was doing
a good job.

How unfortunate for you, but I
suppose they know what they're doing.

You'll have to excuse me.
I've got a dinner engagement.

Where, at the Gordons?

Why do you say that?

Well, you're a good friend of
Mr.Gordon, aren't you?

I mean, uh...

Last week at the hospital, he
invited you over. You remember that?

No, it isn't the Gordons.

No? A lady friend, maybe?

I don't think it's any of your
business.

No, I guess not.

I was wondering, Doctor...

Would you take me on as a patient.

Take you on as a what?

You know, I mean it. Maybe you can
help me.

I don't know, there must be
something wrong with me.

I seem to bother people, I seem to
make them nervous.

Maybe you could tell me why.

Are you serious?

I'm very very serious.

I've never been more serious
in my life.

My wife says I ought to have it
looked into.

So I told her I know this a psychiatrist,
and uh...

I figure if I came here,
like once a week,

maybe we could get it ironed out.

You know what I think
the problem is...

I think I'm too suspicious.

I don't trust people, that's my
trouble...

For instance,
when I get taken off a case,

right away I figure somebody
put the pressure on...

...right way, I ask myself why.

What do you think, Doc?

I think you'd better get out of
here.

Beg your pardon?

Columbo, you're a public servant.
You say you've been taken off the case? Fine.

Bother me again, and I shall have to
talk to your superiors.

You've been talking to a lot of people
these days, Doctor.

Columbo, you're magnificent.
You really are.

What makes you say that, Doc?

You are the most persistent
creature I've ever met.

But likeable.

The astonishing thing is
you're likeable.

Has anyone ever told you
you're droll?

Me?

Yes, you.

Oh, come on, Doc...Come on.

Oh, but you are.
You're a sly little elf.

You should be sitting under
your own private little toadstool.

You say you've been thrown off
the case,

and yet you have the flagrant
audacity...

...to come back here and
bother me again.

I respect that.

It irritates me, but I respect it.

How about a drink?

Well...all right.

Hey, that's pretty clever.

You can always have a snort
between patients.

I haven't given you a Rorschach
test yet,

but I've got a hunch you're a
bourbon man.

Thank you very much, Doctor.

What do we drink to?

Oh, I don't know.

How about you and me?

Fine.

You like to read huh Doctor?

Yes, I do.

You read murder mysteries?

Not very often.

Me, I love 'em.
I find 'em nice and relaxing.

Now, the only trouble is that they got
nothing to do with real life.

I mean, the guy who did it, they
catch him every time.

You and I know that uh...

It doesn't always work out
that way.

You never stop, do you?

What?

The insinuations, the change of
pace.

You're a bag of tricks, Columbo.

Right down to that prop cigar
you use.

Oh...come on Doc.

I'm going to tell you something
about yourself.

You say you need a psychiatrist.
Maybe you do and maybe you don't.

But you are the a textbook example of
compensation.

Of what, Doc?

Compensation. Adaptability.

You're an intelligent man, Columbo,
but you hide it.

You pretend you're something
you're not. Why?

Because of your appearance.

You think you cannot get by
on looks or polish,

So you turn that defect into a virtue.

You take people by surprise.

They underestimate you and that's
where you trip them up.

Like coming here tonight.

Boy, you've got me pegged pretty
good, Doctor.

I'm gonna have to watch myself with you,
because...

You figure out people
pretty good.

Now you're trying flattery.

No, really. I'm serious, Doctor.
You've got a gift.

I know it's your job and I know
you've studied for years...

But still it's... well,
it's amazing that...

a person'll come in here and sit down
and in a couple hours,

you know all about him.

Oh, not quite.

Psychiatry isn't a parlor trick.

Oh, I didn't mean that. No.
I was just wondering...that ah...

Well, no, I guess that is
impossible.

What is it?

Well, I know it's easy enough to
figure out a patient.

Or a guy like me who's always hanging
around all the time.

But what about a stranger,
what about...

...a fella that you never
met before?

Can you tell what makes him tick?

Any particular one in mind?

No, nobody special.
Just a type.

Like a murderer, for instance?

Well, yeah, now that you mention it.

I guess we're on the same wave
length.

Yes, I guess we are.

What about this hypothetical
murderer?

Well, I'm not talking about your
average hothead.

You know, the guy who pops somebody
with a nogging, with a bottle.

What I mean is a, uh...

...kind of man that figures
everything out in advance,

Who takes everything step by step.

What do you know about that kind
of man, Doctor?

I should charge you for this.

But since it's on a theoretical basis,
let's just call it...

...a free consultation...

All right.

We are talking about a man
who commits a crime...

not the garden variety of
bar room brawl...

but an elaborate intellectual
project.

What do we know about this man?

Obviously, he's not impulsive.

He plans, he calculates,
he minimizes risks.

He's oriented by his mind, not by his
emotions.

And he's probably well educated,
too.

Like, maybe, a professional man?

Like maybe.

At any rate...an orderly man,
with an eye for detail.

And courage.

Courage?

Certainly.

To go through a thing like this...
whatever it maybe...

It takes a strong nervous system.

Well, you could be right.

But one thing bothers me, Doctor.

This man that we're talking about
has taken a human life.

Wouldn't you say that he was insane?

Why? Because he committed
an immoral act?

Morals are conditioned, Lieutenant.

They're relative, like everything
else is today.

Our murderer may be as sane as
you and me.

Killing may be repugnant to him.

But if it's his only solution,
he uses it.

That's pragmatism my friend,
not insanity.

Tell me, Doctor.

How do you catch a man like that?

You don't.

You're probably right.

He sounds just too clever for us.

What I mean is, you know, cops,
we're not the brightest guys in the world.

Of course, we got one thing going
for us...we're professionals.

I mean, you take our friend here,
the murderer.

He's very smart, but he's an amateur.

I mean he's got just one time to learn,
just one.

With us...well, it's a business.

You see, we do this a hundred
times a year.

I tell you Doc, that's a lot of
practice.

It didn it help you very much,
didn't it?

I mean with all that experience,
you jumped to the wrong conclusion.

What do you mean?

I didn't kill my wife.

I never said you did.

Oh, that's true.

Imply, imply is more the word.

But if I killed my wife...

And I did say if...

You're never going to
be able to prove it.

So why don't we just part as friends?

You go on to something new,

and I'll forget this whole thing
ever happened.

As a matter of fact, there's no reason
for us to see each other again.

Well I have to be going now.

I'll go out with you.

Oh, no, no, no. You just stay here.
Relax. Search the office.

And if you want another
drink, help yourself.

Good night.

Oh, by the way, when you leave,
turn out the light.

Miss Hudson...

Who are you?

Lieutenant Columbo, ma'am.
police.

Ah, we met the other day, remember?

What's this all about?

Is there some place where we could go,
where we could talk?

Why?

Just a few routine questions.
That's all.

Would you like some ice cream?

No, thanks...Questions about what?

Ah, could we go in there?

This is quite a place.

Lieutenant, would you mind
telling me why you're here?

Yes, of course.

I was hoping you might help us
with a case we're working on.

What case is that?

Lieutenant?

The Flemming case.

You mean Dr.Flemming, my psychiatrist?

Uh-huh.

Is he in some kind of trouble?

What was that?

I said, is he in some kind of
trouble?

Well, you might say yes.

Sit down, Miss Hudson.

There's no rule about smoking
here, is there?

No.

Well then, if you don't mind,
I'll light up.

See, a lot of women,
they don't like cigars.

My wife, she prefers a pipe.

I could never get used to those things.

There's just too much to carry around
with you.

How long have you known
Dr.Flemming?

You mean how long has he been
treating me?

Well, that's the same thing, isn't
it?

I've been seeing him for about a
year.

Uh-huh.

That checks out.

By the way, when was the last time
you spoke to Dr.Flemming?

Last week. When I met you.

Oh, that's right, yes.

Lieutenant, would you mind
explaining...

Are you working here in a movie
now?

That's right.

Well, I'm gonna have to see it
when it comes out.

What are you...Are you playing
a Roman girl or a Greek girl?

Do you do your own makeup?

What has this got to do with Dr.Flemming?

Pardon me?

Lieutenant, you're not being very
clear.

You came here to ask me about a man
I hardly know.

You said he was in trouble.

Now before we go on, suppose you
tell me what kind of trouble.

Well...I know this is gonna come as
a shock to you.

But we think that he killed his
wife.

You seem stunned.

Of course I'm stunned.
I don't believe it.

No?

Yeah, I wonder who these belong to?

Maybe somebody left them by mistake.

Miss Hudson...

You seem nervous.

Haven't you seen a pair of sunglasses
before?

Would you like to try them on?

Why should I?

No reason. But there's no reason
why you shouldn't either.

Is there?

I think I'd better go.

Sit down, Miss Hudson.

If you insist on questioning me,
I'm going to have to call my lawyer.

Sit down!

You can't stop me from calling my
lawyer!

You have no right to order me around,
you're not even on this case any more!

How did you know that?

Dr.Flemming told me.

But you said you haven't seen Dr.
Flemming since last week.

He called me.

Oh? Is the doctor in the habit of
doing that?

I'm not going to answer any more of
your questions.

Just one more point, Miss Hudson,
that I'd like to clear up.

I am on the case.

It's true somebody tried to pull
a few strings.

But my superior, he doesn't like that.
He gets thinking.

So he said to me, he said...

Lieutenant Columbo, you must be
touching a sore spot.

So you just keep right on trying.

He's very intelligent, my superior.

I want to call my lawyer.

I don't understand that.

Dr.Flemming killed his wife
and you wanna call your lawyer,

Would you explain that to me,
Miss Hudson?

I want to call my lawyer.

All right.

Go ahead.

If he wants to know
what the charge is...

it's accessory to murder.

Go ahead and make your call,
Miss Hudson.

When you get done we'll take a
drive.

Drive?

Yes, we're gonna go see the
stewardess.

I don't have the blue dress
and I don't have the gloves.

I don't think, you're going to try on
these sunglasses.

But maybe she'll remember you any
how, wig or no wig.

I don't know what you're
talking about.

You're trying to confuse me.

I've nothing to do with this.

With what?

With this... with the thing
you said about Ray.

Ray?

Dr.Flemming!

But you just called him "Ray."

What difference does that make?
I know him, he's my doctor.

Your lover?

My doctor!

And you said you never met his wife?

No, I never met his wife!

Would you like to see some
pictures of her.

I had them taken at the morgue.
They're in my briefcase.

No!

Why should you?

After all, you saw the real thing.
That must have been quite a shock.

Why don't you leave me alone?
I didn't do anything.

No?

What about these?
What about the sunglasses?

What about the overweight luggage?

What about the argument on the
plane?

I don't wanna listen to
any of this!

Now, you were there when he
strangled her, weren't you?

No!

Well, does that mean
that you came later?

I was never there at all.

I think you were.

I think you probably changed into
her dress while she was lying there.

Then you and the Doctor went to the
airport and...

...had that fake argument on the plane.
Didn't you?

Didn't you.
Didn't you help plan it with him,

Didn't you help carry it out
with him? Now didn't you?

Stop it!

Without you that woman would be alive.

Without you she wouldn't be lying
in the morgue.

Stop it!

Why don't we go downtown,
and you can make a statement.

No!

You have no right!

I have nothing to do with this.
Do you understand?

Nothing.

Nothing at all...

If you want to take me to the
stewardess, then take me.

If you want to arrest me, go ahead.

But you can't prove anything.

Now either charge me or let me leave.

I don't care what you do.

You can go.

Miss Hudson...

I hope you understand this is only
the beginning...

In a way, I feel sorry for you.

Because from now on I'm gonna do
everything I can to break you down.

Do you understand?

Dr.Flemming made one mistake and
you're it.

You're the weak link, Miss Hudson.

You surprised me today, because
you were strong.

But there's always tomorrow.

And the day after that.

And the day after that.

Sooner or later you're gonna talk
to me.

Until you do you're gonna be
questioned.

You're gonna be followed,
you're gonna be hounded.

Dr.Flemming can't do anything
about it.

You're on your own, Miss Hudson.

And I'm going to get to him
through you...that's a promise.

Ray, thank heavens.
I've been calling for hours.

What's wrong?
You sound upset.

Columbo came to see me
at the studio today.

Columbo?

He tried to break me down.

Did you tell him anything?

No, of course not.

But he knows. Every detail.
Even the alibi on the plane.

He's only guessing.
And guesses are no proof.

Why should he be questioning you?
He's off the case.

No he's not, he's right in the
middle of it.

Two of his men are parked outside
right now.

I think we'd better have a talk.

Come in tomorrow for your
appointment.

We'll figure some thing out.

Can't you come over here now?

With his men watching your house?
Joan, use your head.

But you're my doctor.

There's nothing wrong in visiting
a patient.

He obviously expects us to get
together tonight.

Let's not be predictable.

What are we going to do?

Just ride it out.

You're his last resort.
If you don't panic we're home free.

Ray, I have to see you.

You will. In the morning.

Now put on some music and have
yourself a drink.

And stop worrying.

Ray...

Yes...

All right, I'll try.

Miss Petrie?

Doesn't Miss Hudson have a ten
o'clock appointment?

Yes, she does.

It's ten-thirty.
Why don't you give her a call?

Hello? Is Miss Hudson...

Well, no, I...

This is the receptionist in
Dr.Flemming's office...

Well, she had an appointment here
this morning...

I see.

I just called Miss Hudson,
and a man answered.

He said he was from the coroner's
office.

Try it again.
Maybe you got the wrong number.

This is Dr.Flemming's office
again. Is Miss Hudson there?

You don't understand.

Dr.Flemming is her psychiatrist.

Well, I'm only trying to get some
information.

Let me have that!

Hello, this is Dr.Flemming.
Who are you?

Miss Hudson is under my care.

I want to know what happened?

Look, I am her psychiatrist!

What kind of accident?

Well, who do I call to find out?

Can't you get it through your head...

Never mind!

Miss Petrie, I'm going out for a while.

Tell my next patient I'll be late.

Where is she?

I said...where is she?

She stuffed herself with
barbiturates...

I didn't think...

What didn't you think?

You didn't think what?

I questioned her yesterday...
I guess I pushed her too far.

I told her that I...
I was gonna get to you through her.

You had to bring her into this,
didn't you?

Didn't you know what she'd do?
Or didn't you care?

Don't lecture me, Doctor!

I'm responsible!
And I'm gonna have to live with it.

But you're leaving somebody out.

We both killed that girl, the two
of us together!

She committed suicide for one
reason...to protect you!

You see it was all for you,
for you, Doc.

By the way, congratulations.

I mean, you're home free now aren't you?

Boy, it couldn't have worked
out better.

She was the only one who could have
given you away.

I can't touch you any more, Doc.
Nobody can. You're free and clear.

You won, Doc.

The only trouble is you didn't get
what you were going after.

What is that supposed to mean?

The girl.

You loved her and you wanted her,
and you were willing to murder for her.

And now she's gone.
All that planning, all that sweat...

And you wind up with nothing.

What're you trying to tell me?

I'm not trying to tell you anything,
Doctor. I was just thinking that uh...

You're going to be a terribly lonely
man from here on in...

And maybe you'd feel better
if you got a few things off your chest.

Like what?

Like the truth.

Are you asking me to confess?

Well, is that so strange?

After all, what do you have to
look forward to?

Think about that, Doc.

The girl isn't around any more...and
who knows? Maybe you owe her something.

What do you say, Doc?

You're a very funny man.

I wasn't trying to be funny.

But you are...more than you know.

So you want me to purge myself.

My one-and-only love is dead and
I have nothing more to live for.

Is that it?

All I'm saying is that if you loved
that girl...

Loved that girl?

Look Columbo, I overestimated you.

I thought you understood about
human nature.

I never loved that girl.

Come on, Doc.

No, really...

Remember that hypothetical
murderer we were talking about?

He needed an alibi.

The girl was available so he used her.
It was as simple as that.

No.

You killed your wife
because you were in love with the girl.

If I killed Carol...and there's no
proof that I did...I did it for myself.

Not for some dime-a-dozen little
actress.

She helped you with the murder.
You would've had to marry her.

Not really. Something would have
been arranged.

Like an accident, maybe.

Always planning ahead, aren't you,
Ray?

They said there was something I
should hear...

Would you like to make a statement
now?

Why don't we sit down, we can work
over here.