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Send text to Tyler.

What would you like to say?

Hi, exclamation point.

I just arrived,
exclamation point.

Your message to Tyler says,

"Hi! I just arrived!"

- Send.
- Okay.

Message sent.

Tyler says,
"Glad you arrived safely."

Would you like to reply?

Tyler says,
"Thank you again
for being there."

Tyler says,
"I'm so grateful for you."

- Would you like to reply?
- No.

Okay.

Oh! Hey, hello.

- Hi, Mrs. Patterson, I'm--
- This plant shouldn't be dying.

I just bought it two weeks ago.
It's unbelievable.

All the leaves
keep falling off.

Should I come in?

Well, I didn't slam
the door on you.

It's a succulent,
for God's sake.

Shouldn't be dying.

I've done nothing wrong,
that's for sure.

We take our shoes off
in this house.

- Sorry.
- Everything out there is dirt.

Yeah, a-and cold.

Where is that "dry heat"
you hear so much about?

- What was your name again?
- Jamie.

Here, we say our first
and last name.

Sorry. Jamie Simms.

Well, I'll probably have
to ask you your name again.

Just know that.
I can't apologize for it.

I've got a lot going on.
And now, with you here.

I completely understan... d.

I'm sorry, I wasn't sure
if you wanted me to follow you.

- I don't know what's happening.
- I know.

- It's a very unusual situation.
- It's all starting to rot.

It's possible
it's being overwatered.

- It could also be
under-watered, so that's--
- I'll tell you one thing

I did do wrong.
I trusted Doris Kato.

Friend from New York.
She raved about this nursery,

which, of course, she did.
Her cousin opened it.

A cousin, by the way,
no one's ever even
heard of until now.

A Sue or a Veronica or Patty.
I don't fucking know.

I wasn't listening.
She went on and on and on.

"I'm so proud of my cousin.
She's starting over.

We should really support her."

Well, I'm sorry, but clearly,
Sue-Veronica-Patty

needs to start over again.

Well, I can take it back
if you'd like.

Why?

- If you're not happy.
- Are you already on the clock?

- Is that how this works?
- No, I just--

I'm gonna save it.
It's dying, not dead.

It can be saved.

I'm gonna make a cocktail.
I need one.

Can I pour you something?

- Um...
- Yeah, it's early.

Oh, no, that's not what I meant.
I just-- I'm--

I'm just not much
of a drinker, actually.

But thank you. I had a--

had an incident in college.

Yeah, I broke my jaw.

Just completely tanked

on Long Island iced teas.

I blacked out
right onto the sidewalk.

I had to have my jaw wired shut
for over a month.

So, any of the smells
of the numerous alcohols

in a Long Island
are a bit of a trigger for me.

Are you triggered
by the smell of water?

Because that's all I have.

Or Pedialyte.

Well, I've never been one
to turn down a Pedialyte.

Blueberry or unflavored?

Water's awesome.

So, how long will you be here?

It depends. Uh, a few days,
maybe a week.

That's "a few days,
maybe a week"?

Well, for a gay man, yes.

I wasn't expecting
to-- to come here.

None of this was expected.

Oh, no. I'm sorry, I didn't...

Um, I was packed
for a different trip,

for-- for a longer trip
when your son called.

So then, this trip got
tacked on to-- to that trip.

And you're driving for that trip
and this trip?

Yeah, I prefer it.

You know, time alone,
time to think.

I like a road trip.

Oh, God.

- I have more socks.
- You think they made the cut?

Yeah, I, uh,

I love a road trip.

It's a great way to, uh,
to see New Mexico.

It's my first time, actually.
It's so beautiful.

But it is funny, you know?
You see the desert landscape,

and you just assume,
well, that's gonna be hot--

So, how does this work?
You, here?

Um, however you'd like it.

No, I didn't ask
for any of this.

So, it's not "however."
You tell me.

Uh, I'm-- I'm just
here to help.

Me grieve?

No. No, I couldn't possibly.

No, you couldn't.
I'm more than capable.

I just meant I could help, um,

with arrangements,
um, running errands.

- I think Tyler was thinking--
- Yes, what was my son thinking,

sending you in his place?

I think Tyler's
worried about you.

I thought you'd be
better at that.

Lying.

Isn't that what assistants
do best?

- He is worried.
- Fine. He's worried.

And you know he would be here
in a heartbeat

if he wasn't stuck
overseas doing--

Overseas doing research
for the new book.

Yes, that much I learned
in his texts to me,

along with his condolences
for my husband,

and regrets that he might not
be able to make it back
for the funeral.

And then, two days ago,
I learned that his assistant

would be here in his absence,
in a text from you.

Y-Yes, that is on me.

I told Tyler
I would reach out, and I--

and I should have let him
do that first.

And why might
he not make it back?

There's a prisoner of war
that he's hoping to interview,

uh, in Khartoum.

He has a contact,
an insider

in the Sudanese
Armed Forces that--

It's timing, basically.
It's-- it's about timing.

It-- He just has to be ready
for when it will be safe.

And will it be safe
before Saturday to be here?

That's the hope, yes.
That's what he's hoping.

- Mm, that's in seven days.
- Yes.

So, we're hoping it's...

Safe before Saturday.

And if it doesn't become safe,

will you be sitting beside me
at the funeral?

- Well, no. I-- I mean,
I couldn't--
- Why?

You're doing
everything else for Tyler.

Why can't you be my son
on the day?

Well, because
I'm no replacement for him--

You'd be surprised
how low that bar is.

Did you want me
to get the water?

I-It's okay, no worries.

- So, you don't want the water?
- No.

No-- I mean, yes,
I do want the water.

I just meant
no worries in that...

- Oh, my God.
- ...it's okay that you forgot.

Sorry, I meant to put
my phone on vibrate.

- Is that Tyler?
- Um, most likely, yes.

Your son texts
from his computer,

so he's just constantly
hitting return

and sending one sentence
at a time.

Yes, it is him.

Uh, he's just making sure
I arrived safely.

That's a lot of sentences
for such a simple message.

Uh...

Uh, let's see what he says.

- Um...
- Forget it.

It doesn't all
have to be my business.

But to the part that is...

you can say that you
arrived safely and that...

I'm doing well.

In case that's his follow-up.

Oh, and I'll take room temp.
There's no need for ice

if the desert's not
gonna be hot.

Yes, it's winter.
For God's sake,

please stop being
blown away by that.

He sent a heart emoji.

Is that for you arriving safely
or me doing well?

- Imagine both.
- How economical of him.

I prefer you leave
the chime on.

That way I'll know
when we hear from him.

Of course.

- What?
- Nothing.

- Am I a lot?
- No.

That's a shame,
'cause I'm trying to be.

You'll forgive me, Jamie,
but I'm having a hard time

processing your presence.

I know, I'm just--
I'm just doing my job.

You understand my position, yes?
Why I'd be so agitated

to learn that I'm your job?

No, no, I'm sorry.
Being here is my job for Tyler.

I didn't mean to imply
that you're my responsibility.

Well, Tyler seems
to think differently.

He seems to think he can
pass off his responsibility

to be here to say goodbye
to his stepfather.

Not that he ever called
Henry anything but Henry,

let alone made an effort

to have any kind of
relationship with him.

So, well, maybe that's it.

Maybe that's why
he doesn't feel he has
a responsibility

to be here?

But my son does have
a relationship with me,

or did at one point--
a good one,

which I think counts.

So, there is a responsibility
there to me.

- Tyler is doing his best.
- Oh, please.

- I think given
the circumstances--
- Yes, you have to defend him.

I get it, it's your job,
but I don't, so I won't.

Overseas is bullshit.

My husband
didn't just suddenly die.

He had Parkinson's.

We knew where we were headed,

and so did Tyler.

I actually called him
two weeks ago to tell him...

To tell his voicemail,
at least.

I told him Henry
had taken a turn,

things were complicated,
and time was not on our side.

So, again, you'll forgive me
if I intend to allow myself

some agitation
and disappointment.

I understand. I do.

But I'm not here
if you don't want me to be.

Which is something
you could have conveyed

two days ago when I texted you.

But that said, I am here
because of Tyler,

because he thought
I might be of help.

But if you don't want that...

if you would like me to leave,
I also understand that.

I haven't made up my mind yet.

Okay.

So...

how long have you
been his assistant?

Uh, going on about
four years now.

Wow.
Obviously, I'm aware

Tyler and I have been
somewhat estranged for a while,

but to not even know
of your existence?

Although I'm not sure that's
more of a slight on me or you.

Well, it doesn't bother me.

How old are you?

Forty-two.

Four-- 46. Final answer.

- So, older than Tyler?
- Y-Yeah, it's just eight years.

- Doesn't mean-- It's not crazy.
- Of course not.

- Is that an issue for you?
- No.

Really? Because at first,
you made yourself less older.

- Uh...
- I just have to imagine

it's an interesting dynamic
for you as Tyler's assistant,

with where he is in his life
at his exact age.

- He's very successful.
- I'm-- I'm successful.

I'm sorry, this...
this feels like an interview.

Well, I'm being asked
to spend a few days,

maybe a week,
with a complete stranger.

I think I'm entitled
to know more.

Yeah, this is all kind of
a second chapter for me.

When I left NYU,
I took a job as a copywriter,

but I wasn't happy
with anything.

So, I decided to quit
and start over in LA.

Where you took
the job with Tyler.

Um, yeah, eventually, yes.

- Because you were a fan?
- Y-Yes, but when I got to LA,

I didn't purposely seek him out.

We just happened to randomly
bump into each other

in West Hollywood at a bar.

A gay bar?

I mean, not-- not all bars
in West Hollywood are gay bars.

So, it wasn't a gay bar?

- No, it was...
- Mm-hmm.

You know, I mentioned
what brought me to LA,

and he, you know, he mentioned
being very overwhelmed

and very inundated, and...

I don't know, I just...

I remember thinking that
it felt like we were meeting

for a reason.

So, I offered myself up.
As his assistant.

So, I'm curious.

Mm, what has Tyler
said about me?

What has Tyler said about you?

Yes, I imagine he's mentioned me
at some point.

Yeah, no,
I'm just trying to think.

What he's said about me?

Honestly, he doesn't
really talk much about--

- Me?
- Childhood.

That included me.

Mrs. Patterson--

You're "46. Final answer."

We can be at Diane.

Diane, with all due respect--

He sent you here,
so I have to assume

- something's been said.
- Okay, he said you were,

uh, a great cook,

a big traveler,
that you like movies.

Ooh, wow!
What a vivid picture.

So, no adjectives. Huh.

Uh, Diane, I'm sorry, I can't.

Part of my being here,

part of working for Tyler--
working for anybody, really,

as an assistant, is that there
has to be some sort of semblance

of a cone of silence
when it comes to stuff

discussed about anything,

including family.

It's not mine to share.

I have to be a safe place
for Tyler, and I have been.

And should you choose
to have me here,

I would be that for you.

I-- I would be
a cone of silence.

Which is something
I think you would want.

Some things
should remain unsaid.

I have experience with that.

Besides, I doubt
you could tell me

anything I don't already know.

Can't be much good in there.

- Well, that's not true.
- And that's not true, either.

Do you mind if I use
your bathroom?

Yeah. That would seem
cruel if I said no,

seeing as you just drank
the equivalent of a lake.

- Um...
- We removed the door

- to make it easier for Henry.
- Oh, sure.

- You know, I think
I'm good, actually--
- Do your business.

I'll refill your lake.

That's odd.
I don't remember...

- turning that off, that's crazy.
- Yes.

I don't know why
that chime's not on.

- Do you need me
to bring it to you?
- No, no!

Nope, almost done.

Yep, just...

...wrapping it up.

Sorry about that.
I don't remember

putting it on the...

Um...

Unfortunately, he knows
it's already gonna be

another day of waiting.
It's-- It's still not safe.

I think your son is stressed.

Most of this is him just
asking me to quiet his mind.

He's wondering if he's doing
the right thing by being there.

Do you think he's doing
the right thing?

- That's not my place to--
- Will you reassure him

that he's doing the right thing?

Your son is grappling
with all of this, for sure.

- I like all the art.
- Sure.

We can change the subject.

No, no, I meant
to mention that.

No, I welcome it.
The art is all Henry.

He painted.

Was a painter. Not a hobby.

After he was diagnosed just
a little over three years ago,

Henry wanted us to move out here

so he could paint
this part of the world

before he could no longer.

I offered to buy him
coffee table books

and just bring this world
to New York.

But he insisted his eyes
see it for themselves.

He knew it was a big ask.

My life was in Manhattan.
I was leaving my career, and...

But of course,
I said I loved the idea.

That was the only lie
I ever told my husband.

That husband, anyway.

He was hoping
to finish that before he...

What did Tyler
tell you about Henry?

- Diane--
- No.

No cone of silence,
not with Henry.

With me, fine.

Yes, he said you, uh,

had been together
for 27 years, I think.

Twenty-nine. What else?

And, uh, that you two

deserved each other,
which I thought was sweet.

It can be heard that way.
Is that it?

Yeah.

Maybe deal with that.

Oh, my God.

Now, the sun is being
an asshole.

Oh, that sun.
Sorry.

- What?
- Sorry, I keep thinking

- that you're talking about--
- It's relentless!

Everything here is exposed.

Well, I think some time in
the direct sunlight might be--

- might be helpful.
- Well, then you tell me
what to do with it.

- What?
- You were sent to assist.

So, assist. Sun or shade?

Sun or shade?

- Uh, whichever.
- Not "whichever."

You have an opinion, express it.

Okay, I think maybe some time

where-- in the--

And for God's sake, respond!

Quiet his mind or whatever it is
he needs you to do.

- I'm telling him to hang on.
- "He's stressed."

What the hell
does he think I'm feeling?

Does he even acknowledge
what's happening here?

What I'm going through?

Does he even attempt
to text that?

No, don't even tell me.
He has my number.

He can use it.
After what I've done.

You don't even know
what I've put aside.

Because that's what you do.
You put it all aside.

You put it all aside,
despite how you feel.

When someone is hurting,
someone you're supposed to love,

you put it aside,
you ungrateful,

selfish dickhead!

I'm sorry. That wasn't, um...

And...

I'm sorry about the, um...

Henry dealt with the plants.

He-- They were his thing.

He-- he loved them,
and I, um...

Diane, um, I know this
is all very overwhelming,

and I certainly don't want
to add to that.

But I am happy to be here.

If only to focus
all of my assistance

on saving that succulent.

- Hm.
- My God.

Well, we, um...

we turned the spare
into an art studio,

so you'll have
to sleep out here.

Sure.

Okay.

Oh.

- It is a bed.
- Oh, yeah, no, it's--

- Or there's the couch.
- Yeah. Oh, maybe the couch.

That is where he died,
though, so...

- Wow, okay.
- ...it's up to you.

- No, that's--
- I'll get sheets.

Thanks.

There's no reason to be worried,
is there, for his safety?

No, no, he wouldn't
put himself in danger.

I probably
should have asked that first.

Thank you for making dinner.

Oh, I didn't make.
I heated.

It's amazing what dishes

people are inclined
to bring over.

According to my fridge,
you'd think I only eat

casseroles and enchiladas.

Well, people just like
to bring comfort food.

Yeah, well, I've been
comforted by a salad.

Was that genuine?

Yes. I thought it was funny.

Oh, just checking.
You chuckle a lot.

But I might have to challenge
the validity

of a comforting salad.

Oh, I forgot to give this
to you, from Tyler.

Yes, it's my handwriting,
but his words, dictated.

He is good about sending cards.

Interestingly enough,
going on about four years now.

How'd it go with Tyler?

Were you able to reassure him?

Oh, yes, yeah.
But I'll hear from him again,

and then I'll have
to reassure him all over again.

That's the cycle.
Welcome to my world.

Hmm. Tyler was always anxious.

That world has not changed.

I remember once picking him up
from kindergarten.

He was--
He was in tears, inconsolable.

My mind thought the worst,
you know,

he'd been hit or bullied.

It turns out he was just--
he was just upset

because he was terrible
at cutting with scissors.

Of course,
I stifled my laugh on that day.

I validated his feelings.
My son was seen and heard.

Plus, as I would come to learn,

his teachers
were genuinely concerned

about his inability to cut.

So, fuck me, I guess.
Fuck me for not knowing

it was some kind
of developmental thing.

Hands being able to do
different tasks

at the same time
or something, I don't know.

Anyway, Tyler was distraught

because all the other kids
could do it and he couldn't.

So, I spent that weekend
with him,

just sitting on the floor,

cutting up
all my good magazines.

Is he good at cutting
with scissors now?

You know, I can't say
I've ever seen him do it.

Maybe text him
at some point, find out.

Be nice to know
I made a difference,

and that my magazines
did not die in vain.

You know, Diane,
you could text him yourself.

And if it gives you any solace,

I happen to know
you did make a difference,

because Tyler told me
what it was like

for him coming out to you,
and he said you were amazing.

Are you allowed
to tell me that?

I think I can lift
the cone on this one.

He said when he finally got up
the nerve to come out to you,

he felt like you were
already there waiting.

"Waiting to give him love."
Those were his exact words.

Well, I was there.

And I was there all the times
he almost came out.

I always knew he was gay

from an early age.

And for so many years,
there were these moments

where he'd come into a room
where I was,

not even the room,
just into the doorway.

And I'd see it
right there on his face.

And I'd think to myself
every time,

"This is it, Diane, he's gonna
come out, don't screw it up."

And believe me,
it took everything in my power

not to want
to yank him out myself.

I just...

I just wanted him
to get to the other side of it.

I knew it would be better there.

I knew it was up to him,
of course.

So, I just stayed still, calm,

and we'd stare at each other
for what felt like forever...

waiting on the same thing,
waiting for him to step through.

And eventually,
all those times I'd--

I'd I just have to watch him
push it all down and walk away.

So, when the day came,
the day...

Oh, Tyler was 23,
home for Christmas,

and I was in
the kitchen, cooking.

And he came in like he'd done
so many times before,

right into the doorway,
no further.

And the look was the same.

The fear was there, the pain,
all of it the same.

But in that moment, I just...

I knew I couldn't stay still.

I knew I couldn't yank, but...

I needed to make this
the right time for my son.

So, I just looked at him
and I said...

"I love you."

I mean, I'd said it
so many times before,

but I guess
never like that, like...

like reassurance.

As if maybe he'd forgotten.

And with that,
Tyler just exhaled.

And I watched it
all fall away.

And I watched my son
step into the room.

- Wow.
- Mm.

- Hm.
- And then,
we made dinner together.

In fact...

we made a comforting salad.

Well, no offense to scissors,

but I think that is a--
a bigger difference.

Tyler is very lucky
to have you as a mom.

Mm.

And what about you?

Were you lucky
with your parents?

Um...

- You-- you don't have to say.
- No, no, no. No.

I-- I'd like to think
I would have been, yeah.

But um, I lost both my parents
before I, uh...

I came out later
than I should ha--
I mean, not should have.

I came out when I was ready
and I wasn't ready

until I was 35, and...

they both passed away
within a year of each other.

It was, um, cancer came
for both of them.

- I'm sorry.
- Thank you. Thank you.

- Do you have any siblings?
- No.

Uh, I'm an only child,
as was my dad.

And my mom
didn't talk to her sister,

and I hear she's gone now, too.
So, no, it's just me.

That must have been difficult.

Caring for both of them
on your own?

Yeah.

Yeah, it was. But, um...

But, you know, I mean...

we weren't really given
a choice in the matter.

We just had to get
good at it fast, right?

- Yes, we did.
- Hmm.

If you don't mind... me asking,

do you know
why you did wait?

Why you weren't ready
until you were?

I imagine I do.

Yeah.

Uh...

Not that I can't drink alone,

but can I, uh, get you a glass?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Oh. What did she do here?

- Good morning.
- Oh, good morning.

Well, I'm afraid
it was overwatered,

so I'm just gonna
let the leaves

and the roots dry out
a little bit.

It's worth a shot.

Oh, and I, um,
I emptied your dishwasher,

but I wasn't sure
where those platters went.

And I made some coffee.

What happened to just
focusing on the succulent?

I'm sorry,
I couldn't help myself.

I kinda get off on this stuff,

and I instantly regret
saying "get off."

And did you "get off"
on feeding the cat, too?

Uh, yes.
Again, sorry, I just--

I noticed the bowl was empty.

Well, that one's
all for naught.

The cat was carried off
by an owl, so...

- Wait, what?
- Yeah, he was sunning
out on the patio.

An owl swooped down,
and off they went.

All that was left
was a piece of his tail.

- That's a thing?
- All the time.

Henry insisted we leave
the bowl out because,

I don't know,
maybe he thought the owl

would circle back
and drop the cat off?

I'm sorry, that's horrible.

The act of it, yes, but...

Barnaby only really
loved Henry, so...

I'm thinking
this is a good thing.

They're together again.

That goes down there,
and that in the corner.

Yes.

Any word from Tyler?

Yeah, um, yeah, sorry.

It's-- It's-- It's not safe, unfortunately.

And I'm sorry,
I should have mentioned.

Diane!

- Oh, shit.
- Diane!

Oh.

- Diane.
- Oh. Hi, Judith.

- Hi.
- Love the turquoise.

Oh, thanks. Can't get enough.

- Seems like it.
- Yes.

This is Judith,
my next door neighbor.

And this is Jamie.

A gift from my son.

Oh!

That's very sweet.
Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

And how are you?

I'm doing okay, thank you.

Well, I hate to pile on
more troubling news.

Yeah. My Chipper is missing.

Oh, no, that is more troubling.

Yes, it's my chihuahua.

- Oh.
- Mix.

I mean, purebred, uh, mix.

Wow.

Trying to stay positive.

You know, gotta keep
hope alive.

You know.

- I do know.
- Well, if either of you see him,

just give me a call.

- Sure. Oh.
- And if I don't answer,

of course I'll call right back,
but I'll probably answer.

- Oh.
- And all prayers welcome.

- Sure.
- Thank you so much.

- God bless.
- Bye-bye.

Ooh, Marci! Hello, girl!

Hold up.

Diane, I think her dog--

Yeah, a hawk.
I saw it happen from the window.

- Should we tell her?
- You heard her.

She needs to keep hope alive.

- Oh, thank you.
- Of course.

I'm beginning to understand this
whole green chile obsession.

It's basically a cult.

Henry couldn't get enough, either.

Oh, do you want to start a--
a list of things we need to do?

I have one. Henry made it.

- Oh.
- He found it
to be one of the perks

of knowing his "end date."

His words.

I haven't opened it.

Are you sure you want me to?
I mean, it might be a note.

I was by his side in the end,
we said everything.

Okay.

Alrighty.

Yep. See, just a list.

"Henry's Exit Strategy.

"Number one,
I want a fully stocked bar

"at the reception,
but no champagne.

"I hate it, so no one
toast me with it.

"Number two,
music at the service.

"You know me, Diane.
I don't do subtle.

"So, Beach Boys'
'God Only Knows'

"as the guests arrive.
And as they leave,

Barry White's 'You're the First,
the Last, My Everything.'"

Well, that's not gonna
fly with his church.

Well, his church
hasn't met me yet.

And you haven't met his church.

- Well, then they'll
do it for you.
- No.

They don't know me.
They know of me.

I'd drop Henry off
and pick him up.

Henry made friends here,
I made acquaintances.

Well, then they'll do it
for Henry.

What else?

Uh, "Number three, flowers.
I leave that up to you, Diane.

"Fill the church with whatever
makes you feel New York.

"One stipulation.

You must purchase the flowers
from Doris Kato's cousin."

Are you fucking kidding me?

"Her name is Kathy,
by the way.

I know you weren't listening."

My God.

- "Number four."
- What?

Invite Kathy to the service?

"Finish my painting."

Well, that's not happening.
I can't paint.

"It doesn't matter
that you can't paint, Diane.

"Painting brought us together.

I want you to finish
what I couldn't."

Well...

It is finished.
That's how I want it.

Well, it might be cool
to have some--

Are there any other numbers,
or is that it?

Can you be done?
We've got a lot to do.

Yeah, I-- yeah, I can be done.

Hello?

I just want to reiterate, again,
how very honored I am

to be entrusted
with these arrangements.

Well, that's the hope.
But I should warn you,

my husband was very specific.

He wants to feel New York,
so I'm not sure if you even--

Of course. Spring? Summer?

- What was his favorite season?
- Spring. But specifically,

- it should include tulips.
- We should start with my tulips.

And I'm gonna want
a wide variety of colors--

You won't believe
all the colors.

Well, it's one thing to say it.

But you need to see them.
Of course.

Your signature, please.

And just the deposit
is due today.

Um, Kathy,
the succulent,

the one that Henry
and Diane bought here,

um, it's not doing well.

- Oh, no.
- I know.

I know, and I'm wondering
if maybe it wasn't in the...

healthiest of conditions
when they got it?

'Cause it doesn't seem like
they did anything wrong.

And it's likely Diane
will be able to save it,

- but it's just, you know,
it's a little disappointing.
- Of course.

- I-- I'm so sorry.
- No, no, no.

I only mention it
because of Henry.

Because he just--
he loved plants,

and they were very much
a passion of his.

And your cousin
recommended you.

No. Say no more.

Please, let me try
and make it right.

30% off.

What? No. Oh, Kathy.

- No, I insist.
- Thank you. Well, thank you.

Take your victory lap quickly.

Can you believe
this cold weather?

I mean, I've been here a while,
but when you hear "desert,"

- you think...
- It's gotta be hot!

- No.
- I know.

So, maybe in a day or so,
we'll just give it

a little misting.

Are you picking out
some photos to display?

Yes, I do have some ideas
for my husband's funeral.

Oh, wow.

Tyler.

Yep.

Always adorable.

Aw.

Tyler has this one
framed in his house.

Mm.

Has he told you
a lot about his dad?

Oh, yeah.

I mean, mentioned, really.

I mean, just like pieces, not...

Well, I'll have to give you
more photos of them

to take back to LA.

For sure.

Who's this kid?

There's a lot of pictures
of them together.

Is he a-- Is he a cousin?

No, that's Bobby,
his first boyfriend.

What?

No!

They're like, what, 11?

Ten.

They didn't say
they were boyfriends,

but I knew.

I actually caught them once.
They didn't see me,

but yeah,
I caught them exploring.

Nothing scandalous.

- That had to be rough.
- Why?

I told you,
I always knew he was gay.

Well, it's one thing to know,
it's another thing to see them--

I mean, what did you even say?

I said nothing, to this day.

I never wanted him to feel
that anything was wrong

with what they were doing
or what they might be feeling.

Wow, that's, um...

Okay.

So, uh, are Tyler
and Bobby still in touch?

- I imagine so. Why?
- I don't know.

You know, he was cute.
At least then.

He's hot now.
Big-time interior designer.

Great taste.

He actually lives in LA, too.

I'm surprised
you've never met him.

I mean, you know,
Tyler doesn't include me

in all of his circles,

and he does not want
for friends.

I imagine he does not want for
more than just friends, either.

Not if he's still like he was
when he came out.

Maybe even before he came out.

I don't know, I just know
there was a revolving door

of men who fell for Tyler.

Well, maybe one day Tyler
will introduce you to Bobby.

Yeah.
If he does, he does.

Mm.

So, have you ever gone
through the revolving door?

What?

Tyler's revolving door.

- No, we're just friends.
- Not even for a night?

The night you two met,
when you "offered yourself up"?

That's not...
I went home alone.

No, Tyler and I agreed
from early on

that our relationship
was different, what with work.

Oh, so there was
talk of it, though?

- Oh, inevitably.
- Inevitably?

Inevitably. You know, you spend
a lot of time with someone,

you get to know them,
you start to care for them.

Yeah, you can inevitably
start to wonder.

- And you did?
- Well, we both did.

We both wondered,
but we agreed,

uh, we decided on friendship.

- Who decided?
- We both did.

- Quit trying
to cut him out of this.
- No, I-- I...

I just-- I know Tyler

in relationships.
I don't know you.

Well, rest assured,
we went down that road together,

and we got off
that road together.

- Mm-hmm.
- At a certain point,

I expressed feelings for Tyler,

and Tyler in turn
expressed feelings for me,

but he also admitted
he wasn't there yet

and wasn't ready
for a relationship.

Oh, so you went further down
the road than he did?

- Oh, my God.
- I'm just trying to clarify.

No, you're trying
to interrogate,

and there's nothing
to interrogate.

I know my life, Diane.

I know my life with Tyler.
Trust me.

- Understood.
- Thank you.

We'll just leave it
at that, then.

- Great.
- You expressed your feelings.

Tyler had similar ones,
but he wasn't there yet.

And at a certain point,
you decided to just be friends.

There's a little more
to it than that.

Well, that's all I know.
Maybe we do a charcuterie board.

At a certain point,
Tyler did say

he was open to an "us."

I don't have to be
in the know.

Well, this is just
so you understand.

This was after we decided
on friendship.

It was actually
a good while after.

Okay.

It was on my birthday, actually.

Tyler took me to dinner,
and that's when he said it.

Out of nowhere, he said
he was open to an "us,"

and I was taken aback.

I mean, in a good way.
And I smiled

and said something like,
"I would love that."

And then, we proceeded
to have a very nice dinner.

And then, I went back
to my apartment,

and I woke up to a voicemail
from Tyler the next day...

taking it all back.

Yeah, Tyler said he got home
and he panicked,

and apologized that this
was all happening

on my birthday.

Uh, but yeah,
he was still conflicted.

- About what?
- About the idea of me with him.

We all have types.

It's just the way it is.

And Tyler was worried
that he would ultimately end up

just hurting me
and ruining our friendship.

Needless to say,
I was pissed and I told him

I needed to take
some time alone...

and that I didn't wanna
hear from him,

and he was not
to reach out to me.

And he said he understood.

I mean, he had no choice
but to understand.

And he was also to understand

that if I was to come back,

it would be on my terms.

- And you came back?
- Yeah.

But in the way
that I wanted to-- needed to.

And you're okay with that?
With things between you two

not being the way you want?

Yeah, obviously.
I'm here.

Okay. Just making sure.

I know it's not easy
to let go of my son.

- You got it?
- Yep.

Alright.

- Did you move the painting?
- I did.

I thought maybe you would
want it out of the way.

No, I need it where it was.
Put it back.

Please.

- Of course. I'm sorry.
- It's alright.

How do you feel about me
boxing some of that up?

I could look into some
take-back programs.

That's what I did
with my parents' medication.

It's just a place
to properly dispose of it.

Fine.

Wow, that's a great picture
of Henry.

Is it-- is that your place
in New York?

Loft in Chelsea.

- So, these are all
of your choices?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

- What?
- Nothing.

No, go ahead.
"Get off" on your opinion.

It just seems like it's
a lot of Henry

from your time back east.

- Where we spent 26 years.
- Well, and here for over three,

and a lot of the people
who are gonna be attending--

This is not about them.
This is about Henry.

And New York was
our happy place, not just mine.

- Diane, it's okay to embrace--
- This is Henry!

Yes.

With my parents,

I remember I just--
I had the hardest time

picking out pictures of them
to display.

And I'm just speaking
for myself here.

You know, I just wanted
to see them at their best.

And then, I would look at these
pictures that I had taken later

when their bodies had been--

When I knew
what was happening in there.

And these--
and these pictures were just--

It was little stuff,
candid things, you know.

It was them laughing,
or reading, or...

sitting on the porch
or the couch

holding hands and...

I don't know, I guess I realized
those were the moments

that I was really seeing them
at their best.

That despite everything,
they were just...

being.

- Okay.
- What?

No, I hear you.

It's just a thought.

No, you have a very good point.

- Oh, thank you.
- Sure.

If you need another blanket,
just let me know.

Oh, no, I'm sure
that's-- that's fine.

- Thank you very much.
- I appreciate you being so open

about your parents.

Of course.

For me, toward the end
with Henry...

we-- we didn't know
it was the end.

And had I known,
I would never have...

One night,
Henry had taken a fall.

He had been sleeping
out here for a while.

Navigating had become difficult.

And he fell trying
to get to the bathroom.

I was sleeping in--
in our bedroom.

His voice had become weak
and gravelly by then, so...

I don't know how long
he had been...

So, I don't know how long he had
been calling out for help.

He had soiled himself,
and I tried to get him up.

I couldn't,
so I ran to the neighbors,

the newer neighbors
just a few doors down.

Uh, Henry knew them.

Of course,
I hadn't even bothered to...

I pounded on the door,

and the young man answers.

Chris, I should say his name.
Chris.

I don't think I...

explained much,
maybe three words,

"Henry had fallen,"

and Chris was already
on his way.

He came right in,
he swooped Henry up

like nothing, like air.

And Henry said...

"My Prince Charming, you came."

Chris laughed
and Henry laughed,

and I said, "Well,
that's a stupid fucking joke."

I yelled it, actually.

I was so mad,

so mad at having to make
everything bearable.

And-- and this is just
so you understand

why I need that painting there.

'Cause I hate it.

Like I hated that joke,

because it reminds me
of how I was.

I-I don't see the beauty
of him painting it.

I see the tragedy of him
not finishing it.

I see me hating his body because
it wouldn't listen to him,

hating how long it took him
to put on his seat belt,

or to find the breath
to tell a story

he told so many times before.

I see me...

...angry and frustrated
and short,

and I see Henry...

patient and joyful and loving...

all for me so I'd feel better.

The one who wasn't dying.

When I look at that,
I see me still here

without the only man
who ever truly knew me,

everything about me,

and stayed despite that.

I need that there so I see me.

Good night.

I selected a few options
for scripture readings

for the service, ones that
I know Henry was fond of

- from our Bible study class.
- Okay.

There's John 15:11.

"That My joy
may remain in you

and that your joy may be full."

- Well--
- There's also John 14,
one through three--

Okay, I will trust you
with the Bible stuff.

Uh, one area
that is very import--

Sorry I'm late.

Diane, you know Judith?

Of course.

Judith is our choir director.

Let's get this
party started.

Okay. Hey, neighbor.

And seeing that Henry
was a beloved member

of our choir,

I know that music selection
needs to be special.

Yes, a-actually, that--
that's what I was...

- Henry was very specific.
- Even better.

Yeah, he wants the Beach Boys'
"God Only Knows"

as people arrive,

and "You're the First,
My Last, My Everything"

as they leave.

- That's, uh, Barry White. Yes.
- Yes.

Barry White.
Wonderful talent.

- Well...
- And I mention this

because of Henry.

Music was his passion.

Singing brought him
immense joy.

Typically, only traditional
hymns are used

- because-- No, listen--
- Seeing-- seeing as
how much Henry

was a part of this church,

and how much the church
meant to him,

to not have these songs

would just be
a huge disappointment.

Well, um...

These are lovely
and spirited choices, Diane.

And one has "God" in the title.

Yes, but, um,

may I suggest something
more appropriate?

I mean, that I know Henry
would love to hear us all sing.

I'm thinking, uh, "Guide Me,
O Thou Great Redeemer."

- Oh. Perfect.
- Oh, it's so good.

And "Tis So Sweet
to Trust in Jesus."

- Mm.
- It's a big hit.

- Really big hit.
- Yes.

And how do you know Henry
would love these hymns?

Because of the joy
I would see on his face

- when he was singing them.
- Oh.

Mm, thank you, Judith.

Of course, yes.

Thank you for that
big bowl of bullshit.

Traditional fucking hymns only!

What?

Those people
are unbelievable!

- Who?
- The church!

They shot down my songs
like I knew they would!

Okay, just give me a second.

Yes. Yes.

Why didn't you wake me up?

I could have gone with you.

Because I'm capable!
I wanted to be capable!

Well, maybe I could
talk to them.

And do what,
something I couldn't?

No, I-- Did you
tell 'em about the list?

Of course I told them
about the list!

O-Okay, look, you're a little
emotional right now.

What if I go back there
and then--

and try to reason with them?

Good luck with Judith Bibbs.

Who?

Do these look
like chihuahua to you?

Wait. What?

Diane!

Diane!

Diane!

What are you doing?

What does it look
like I'm doing?

I'm ending hope.

- Are you insane?
- What? I'm giving her closure.

Well, you're gonna give her
a heart attack.

Well, she acted like she knew
Henry better than me.

- Oh, you find this funny?
- Yes! Yes, I do.

I'm watching a woman
throw chicken bones into a yard,

hoping that another woman thinks
it's pieces of her chihuahua.

A chihuahua that got
carried off by a hawk.

So, yeah.

Yeah, yeah,
I'm laughing at that.

Well, that's my--
That's my humor.

I just wanted it
to be what Henry wanted.

I know.

We need to pick up
these bones.

Okay, let's see.

That's three over here.

- There's some more.
- Oh.

I think that is one.

- Oh, shit.
- Shit.

Hey!

What's going on?

Nothing, everything's fine.

Um, we were--

We were just, um--
I did a...

Where are you going?

- Um...
- I didn't hear her.

I-- No, I-- I thought I left
my shirt out here.

But, uh, nope.

See you, Judy.

It's Judith.

Judith so thinks
we're sleeping together.

If God is kind.

You can see
so many stars here.

Yeah.

This part, I don't hate.

Do you think you'll stay?

No. There's nothing here.

Well, as much as I love
a liquid dinner...

- Oh, sure.
- Will you take care of the fire?

Yes.

Hmm.

Would it be crazy if we opened
another bottle of wine?

- Or would that--
- My son wants to know
how I took the news.

"How'd my mom take the news?"

I assume he's not coming.

I was gonna tell you.

Because it's still not safe?

Yes, unfortunately.

- Actually, there's more.
- Okay, well--

Ah.

"How'd my mom take the news?
I imagine she's pissed.

"But I thought about...

"what you said,
and you're right.

It's not my responsibility."

- I can explain.
- Open your phone.

- I-- Diane, I can't.
- Fuck your cone of silence.

"Not my responsibility"?
That sounds awfully familiar.

That's not exactly what I said.

Well, then let's see
what you said.

Diane, I can explain.

Nothing you can explain
is to be trusted.

This, I'll trust.
Open your phone.

It's not that easy, Diane, I...

Great. It is that easy.

Ah!

Hmm.

Quite an exchange.

Mm-hmm.

Hm!

Wow.

Apparently, they did
get the interview.

"It was a bit harrowing,

"but we made it
in and out safely.

We're back at the hotel."

I guess you just misspoke.

- It did become safe.
- Mm-hmm?

- But then it--
- No, no, no, no, no.
No spoilers.

Did Tyler actually
ponder coming?

He asked me what I thought
he should do.

"He should do."

"Your responsibility is to you,
Tyler, not anyone else."

Apparently, that's exactly
what you said. Mm-hmm.

"I'll te--" Oh.
"I'll tell her it wasn't safe.

"She already knows
that's a strong possibility.

I'll handle things here.
It'll be fine."

You didn't just quiet his mind,
you made up his mind!

- I didn't make up--
- "I'm grateful for you,

but I'm bummed
I won't get to see you."

Aw!

"Miss you, love you, Jamie."

"Miss you, love you,
Tyler."

What a great read!

- I'm sorry, Diane--
- No!

I'll, uh, pack my things.

Why?

You think your job is done?

Well, I think,
given the circumstances...

The circumstances?

The circumstances!

The circumstances
haven't changed!

Just more disappointment.

That, I...
That, I can manage!

Plus, like you said,

"We always knew
this was a strong possibility.

I'll handle things here.
It'll be fine."

Your words! So, yeah,

you can keep
handling things!

All of that's not gonna
fit in that fridge.

You're gonna need to transfer
everything out of there

to the one in the garage.

I was thinking it might be nice

to display more of Henry's art
at the reception.

- That's a great idea.
- We rent a storage unit.

I wrote down the address.

Okay, would you, um,
mind putting it on the...

Got it.

Diane?

I made dinner.

The bartenders confirmed.

And they can help with, um,
with cleanup, too.

Good.

So, what time did you
want to leave for the--

I got a text from Tyler
a while ago.

Mm.

- Okay.
- He said he was thinking of me

and apologized
that he couldn't be here.

But he's sending thoughts
and prayers for tomorrow.

He also said he would check in
when he got back.

- That's great.
- Yeah, it's great

if you just ignore the fact
that it's all a lie.

Oh, and he sent
one last sentence.

His usual.
"Miss you and love you, Mom."

You get that one, too.
I remember reading that.

At first, I thought it peculiar
for a boss and an employee--

- Who became friends.
- Well, decided on friends, yes,

but that's why I said at first,
I found it peculiar.

And then I thought, well,

you do have
this history together.

And this "you loving him,
him conflicted" journey.

So, yes, it's not strange
that along the way

you would start saying
that to each other.

It's how we end our texts.
I think it's nice.

Of course, it's sweet.
And it works.

I know Tyler won't check in
when he gets back.

Eventually, yes,
but I imagine it'll be a month

before I hear from him.

That's what our relationship
has become.

Just large chasms of time pass
with no communication,

and then I'll get the
arbitrary text, "Checking in."

Quite literally,
that's how it starts.

"Checking in."

And of course,
I respond immediately,

like a mother should,

and we check in
with one another.

And at the end of it,
"Miss you, love you, Mom."

And like I said, it works.

It's how he keeps me
on the hook.

It's just enough
to make me feel like
he still needs me.

Just enough to keep me
from giving up completely

and letting go for good.

And I imagine for Tyler,

just enough
to ease his own guilt,

the guilt he feels
for hurting me.

For hurting us?

I know it to be genuine.

I didn't say
it wasn't genuine.

I just think it's more
complicated than that.

Do you not find it
more complicated

when you read his
"Miss you, love you," in a text?

And when you have
to type it back,

it doesn't feel
confusing to you,

after everything that's happened
between the two of you?

No.

Even after you shared
your feelings

and he wasn't there yet?

Even after he was
seemingly there

and then took it all back?

No.

Well, I guess--

I guess I'm just speaking
for myself here.

I just find it hard to imagine
how genuine it can be

when my son refuses to come,

and yet texts,
"Miss you, love you, Mom."

Now, of course,
he's under the assumption

that the lie
didn't get screwed up.

As far as Tyler is concerned,

he thinks I believe he's been
prohibited from coming

due to circumstances.

So, for Tyler,
he's comforted by the fact

that his mom should have
no doubt that he misses her

and loves her on the day before
she buries her second husband.

But then, of course,
you made up his mind for him.

So, yeah, who the fuck knows
what "Miss you, love you,"
means anymore?

- I-- I didn't make up his mind.
- No, you gave him an out.

No, he asked my opinion.
He didn't have to take it.

And why was your opinion
for him not to come?

I didn't tell him not to come.

Yes, you told him that
it wasn't his responsibility--

No. No, I said
he had a responsibility

- to himself.
- And I told you

- he had a responsibility...
- Yes, that he had
a responsibility to you.

- ...to me.
- Yes, yeah, but okay.

Diane, are we really
gonna do this?

Are we really gonna break down
the subtext of a text?

Yes, because now
I'm ready for my explanation.

- You're not gonna like it.
- Yeah, I hate it so far.

I did what I thought was right,
knowing what I know.

- Knowing what?
- How Tyler feels

about everything that happened
between the two of you.

Which is what?

Oh, but of course.

Now, we're back to your
airtight cone of silence.

Fine, I'll lift it from my side.

I cheated on Tyler's dad
with Henry.

- I assume that you know?
- Yes.

And did he also share with you
that his dad and I

had fallen out of love
long before that,

and that his dad
had cheated as well?

- Y-Yes, but--
- But his affair was fleeting

and I fell in love
with mine, yes?

- Yes.
- Yes.

That's my high crime.

Well, I think for Tyler,
knowing how hurt his dad was,

and then with Tyler's dad
passing away,

I think that there is
an allegiance to his father

that makes it
difficult for Tyler to--

- Look, Dia-- your son
struggles with how--
- My son struggles.

Oh, my God. Lost my appetite.

- Diane, just let me--
- No, no!

No, Tyler did have
an allegiance to his dad,

and still does to this day, apparently.

After his father and I divorced,
despite both cheating,

despite our anger
and differences,

the one thing we agreed upon

was that our priority
was to be Tyler.

He should know
nothing from us but love,

and that included
to each other.

I hate that I'm
telling you this!

- You don't have to tell me.
- Yes, I do!

Around the time Henry
and I moved in together,

when things were clearly
not fleeting for us,

Tyler's dad began
to struggle with that.

One weekend, when Tyler
was at his dad's,

you want to know what he put
in our son's head?

"You're on my side.
You're on your dad's side."

You know what that does
to a nine-year-old
to draw that line?

To suggest that love
is conditional?

Because I can tell you
from experience,

you do not come back from that.

The damage is done.

And I only came to know of what
his dad said a few years later

when Tyler was acting out
and I sent him to his room.

He used his dad's words
against me.

"I'm on dad's side."

But truthfully, I was suspicious
that something had been said

from the moment my nine-year-old
came home after that weekend,

because the son who left
was not the son who came back.

Not the way he looked at me,
the way he hugged me.

He would bristle at my touch.

A-And Henry, Henry was a pariah
from that day on.

I'm sorry, Diane.
I didn't know.

And you wouldn't have,
not from me.

I never told anyone,
until now.

Not even Henry.
Even after I came to know

what his dad had said,
I never confronted him.

Never uttered a negative thing
about him in retaliation.

Even as Tyler used those words
against me, I stayed calm.

All I said was,
"Well, I hope you know

that Henry and I
love you, too."

Even after Tyler refused to let
me go to his dad's funeral.

I mean,
this is a man I loved,

I still love!

Even then, I respected
my son's feelings,

and I sat out on that patio,
and I grieved his dad alone.

From the moment my nine-year-old
came home after that weekend,

I have shown him
nothing but love,

because I knew he needed it.

I knew he wanted it,
and still does to this day.

It just-- it just comes
with a price.

But I have never, never stopped
being his mom.

I've-- I have stayed his mom.

And-- and against
my better judgment,

I have kept helping Tyler

through any doorway
he struggles with.

Now, as for you,

just so you're clear
going forward with your life,

just so you come
to truly understand...

that is a cone of silence.

Diane, I'm very sorry
for what you went through,

and I'm sorry for what
you're going through.

But again, I didn't know.

What about what we've come
to know, what we've shared here?

- Going on that alone,
why not tell Tyler--
- Diane, I--

You could have
texted him yourself,

but instead, you chose
to stay angry.

Yeah, and you chose
to be on his side.

Oh, my God.
I love that you refuse to listen

to anything that doesn't allow
you to stay the victim.

- I'm just trying to understand.
- What you need to do

is recognize that I have
been here for six days

helping you, enduring you,
taking dagger after dagger.

What about the daggers
I've taken?

Well, I'm not disputing that,

but I'm not the one
who threw them.

- Yes, you did!
- No, not the ones

that hurt you most.
I'm not your son, Diane.

No. You're worse.

- You're in love with him.
- Oh, my God.

- Diane, I told you--
- No. Nope.

- Fuck your story.
- Wow.

Wow, fuck my story.

You are so clearly
still in love with my son.

- I am not.
- Had I known that,

I would have relieved you
on day one.

Well, then, relieve me now.

- Please.
- And give you the satisfaction

of just walking away?
Hell, no!

Yeah, you wouldn't do that.
And you know what, Diane?

You wouldn't have because
you've enjoyed all of this.

- Goading me, tormenting me.
- I most certainly
have not.

Please, you get off
on your power.

I have a right to get off!

- And had I known how miserable
this was all gonna be...
- Shit.

...I never would have offered
to come here in the first place!

"Offered"?

- What do you mean, "offered"?
- Okay, wait.

You had to come,
you had no choice.

- Yes, but...
- This is your job.

You have to be here.
You said that many times.

- Just hold on!
- Adamantly! Did-- did my son

- even ask you to come?
- Hold on.

Did Tyler even ask you

- to come, ever?
- It's complicated!

Unbelievable.

Okay, okay.
Tyler called.

He was stuck overseas,
he was distraught,

- he didn't know
who else to call.
- Mm-hmm.

He apologized for calling,
admitted it was awkward.

- Why would it be awkward?
- Because it had been a while

- since we had spoken, but--
- Wait.

How long ago did Tyler
break your heart
and you walked away?

- About two weeks, but--
- Two weeks?!

- Yes, it was earlier than--
- There is no way

- you have moved on.
- Yes, I have.

In fact, this road trip,
this longer trip,

that's me moving to New York.
I'm not even going back to LA.

Hold on, hold on.
So, the day you walked away

to give yourself time,
you actually quit?

- Yes.
- Then, why not own that

from the minute
you walked in my door?

- Why lie to me?
- It was just--

"This is my job.
I have to be here."

- It was just easier.
- Yes, I imagine it was,

so much easier
to portray yourself

as this self-righteous victim

- who's had to endure--
- No, I decided

to put aside everything

and take the high road, Diane.

- Oh.
- So that Tyler could see,

despite all of the hurt
I endured,

I would still be there for him.

And that I could move on
with my life

knowing I was leaving Tyler
behind seeing that about me.

Yes. Yes.

- Yes. That is why.
- What?

- You resent him.
- Oh, plea-- No.

You're not just in love
with my son.

You resent him.

- I am taking the high road.
- Which is where you go

when you want people
to feel like shit.

Don't tell me
about the high road.

I wrote the book
on taking the high road.

You want Tyler to feel guilty.

Fine. Yes, I do.

- But that's not why I came.
- It's exactly why you came.

You want Tyler to miss you.

You want Tyler to love you.

- You won't realize--
- I'm moving on with my life--

Do not lie anymore!

Especially to someone
who knows exactly what it means

to love and resent my son.

And when we love
and resent the same person,

that's when they control us
the most.

Jamie, you will always
be everything Tyler needs,

everything he desires
in a boyfriend.

But you will never be his type.

He will never want you
the way you want him to.

And he will never be the son
that you want him to be.

You might not call Tyler
a selfish, ungrateful dickhead

to his face,
but he can feel it.

He can see it in your face,
he can hear it in your voice.

He can read it in your texts.

But yet, you're floored

that he doesn't want to come
running back to your arms.

- I am his mother!
- Well, then fight like one!

Fight for him instead
of tearing me down,

which is easier, right?

It's easier to make the pain
about anything--

anyone but you.

- Get out!
- Happily, thank you!

But you know what, Diane?
You are where you are by choice.

And you made
that choice the second
that nine-year-old came home

and you chose not to fight.

And you had
every right to fight.

You had every right
to march up to his father

and say, "What the hell
were you thinking?"

But no.
Instead, you chose resentment.

And from what I can tell,
you always choose resentment.

You choose resentment
of-- of-- of New Mexico,

of-- of-- of Kathy's
shitty succulent,

of-- of-- of Judith's dead dog,

of the goddamn owl,
and me!

- As I should!
- Oh, oh, yes.

No, I am your holy grail
of resentment.

And what an easy place
to put all of your anger
and resentment,

the week you have to bury
your second husband,

instead of facing the ugly truth

that you're angry
and resentful of Henry

- for having to bury him.
- How dare you!

Don't lie to me, Diane.

Especially to somebody
who knows what it feels like

to spend years of your life
watching the only people

you have left
in the world leave.

And we do, we resent them
because we need them here.

Because we don't know
who we are without them.

You said it yourself, Diane.

You hate how you were
with Henry.

You hated him
for putting you there.

And yet this whole time,
you had somebody looking at you

with nothing but love,
begging you

to get out of a place
you refuse to leave.

A place that you--
you choose to be consumed

by the love you're not getting
from a son who left

rather than grieving
the loss of a man

who knew everything
about you and stayed.

Here's the sun.

There's the fucking sky!

And there's the goddamn owl.

Bringing back the fucking cat!

I didn't mean to--

Let's be done.

Hey, lady.
Just got out of church.

What are you doing?

I know that annoys you

when I ask your
voicemail questions.

I, uh, I just wanted
to let you know

I'm gonna grab lunch
with a couple of friends,

and I'll walk home.

Oh, uh, in case I forget,

a newer member
of the congregation

asked me today
how we met.

And I said,
"Well, we didn't meet.

Diane discovered me."

Now, how sweet
of me was that?

Alright, I love you.
I'll see you soon.

Oh, uh, uh, one more thing.

What are you doing?

♪ Just to take Him
at his word ♪

♪ Just to rest
upon His promise ♪

♪ Just to know
thus saith the Lord ♪

♪ Jesus, Jesus,
how I trust Him ♪

♪ How I've proved Him
o'er and o'er ♪

♪ Jesus, Jesus,
precious Jesus ♪

♪ Oh, the grace
to trust Him ♪

♪ More ♪

Good Lord.

I wasn't going to get up here.

Henry would not expect it.

In fact, he's--

He's probably rolling
his eyes right now.

But he was clear about...

what he wanted... from me.

And I need to finish that.

"The first, my last...

"my everything.

"And the answer
to all my dreams.

"You are my sun,
my moon...

my guiding star."

Um...

♪ My... my... ♪

♪ My ♪

♪ My, my kind of wonderful ♪

♪ That's what you are ♪

♪ I know there's only ♪

♪ One like you ♪

♪ There's no way ♪

♪ They could have made two ♪

"Yeah, you're all
I'm living for."

♪ Your love
I'll keep for evermore ♪

- ♪ You're the first ♪
- ♪ You're the first ♪

- ♪ You're the last ♪
- ♪ You're the last ♪

♪ My everything ♪

- You should join the choir.
- I can't, it's not really--

- Oh.
- That was beautiful.

- I'll see you back at the house.
You have the address?
- Yeah.

Okay, great.

Jamie.

Can you grab Henry for me
and the floral arrangements?

They'll balk at that.
Traditionally, you're supposed
to donate them

for Sunday services,
but just tell them God owes me.

Anyways, I'm bringing
my famous deviled eggs.

Oh, please don't.

It's right over here.

Have you ever seen
so much joy on a canvas?

- It's something.
- Mm.

- Oh, what's happening here?
- Oh, that's an owl

bringing back our cat,
Barnaby, so...

- Oh. My.
- So, like I said, just joy.

- It's beautiful.
- Aw.

It warms my heart
to hear you say that.

Because Henry
wanted you to have it.

- No.
- Yes.

- N-No.
- His time in the choir

was so precious to him.

So, maybe for the choir room.

Ohh.

- Yeah?
- Hmm.

It'll be like he's still there
singing with you.

Hmm.

God bless.

- Travel well.
- Thanks, Diane.

- Mm-hmm, bye.
- We're here if you
need anything.

For some reason,
people thought they should bring

more casseroles.

I saw that.

Uh, I washed these
and labeled whose whose.

And, um, I made a list
of what everybody brought,

in case you wanna send
thank you notes.

Yeah, that doesn't have
to be a thing.

Well, I should probably
get on the road,

give you back your space.

Not much light left, so...

um, if you get tired, pull over.

Yes.

Uh, mm.

Maybe I'll see you
back in New York?

Maybe.

Goodbye, Jamie.

Goodbye, Diane.

Hm.

I know what's
on the other side.

For me, I know
what's on the other side.

And I know it's better.

Or it will be better.

But I stay over here...

because I wanna fix it.

'Cause I need to fi--
I need to fix everything.

Over here, I--
I came out in my 20s.

And I had my own
revolving door,

and I fell in love
and out of love...

many times.

Over here, my parents knew,

and they not only knew,
but they...

loved me for it.

And over here, Tyler...

It's not that I think
that he's right.

It's not that
I think that he's the one.

Just over here,
I didn't waste so much time.

I not only found love...

not only knew what love was,
I knew what to do with it.

But to go over there...

to step through...

Diane, that's to know that
none of that ever happened.

It's just me over there.

I'm not saying that
for sympathy...

...and I'm not
saying that to excuse.

Uh...

I just don't know
where to put it.

Jamie, your parents knew.

We always know.

And they knew who you were.

You were their son
who loved them to the end.

"Checking in."

Sooner than expected.

Well, his timing
has always been terrible.

Or perfect.

Let him wait.

Until I'm ready.

You need to move on,
Jamie.

It's time.

Yes.

Yes.

And take that succulent.

It deserves to be saved.

♪ Threads of our memories ♪

♪ Woven to tapestries ♪

♪ That flow
in the morning breeze ♪

♪ A sliver of light
shone through ♪

♪ The window that frames
our view ♪

♪ In my hands
aglow the hue ♪

♪ A bittersweet reverie ♪

♪ All of you, I'll hold ♪

♪ Inside of me, we'll grow ♪

♪ Forever be free ♪

♪ A great mystery ♪

♪ Of reality ♪

♪ The sun has sung ♪

♪ Its glorious glowing song ♪

♪ Over that horizon ♪

♪ Deep in my soul, I know ♪

♪ Wherever I go, you go ♪

♪ All of the roads
we roam lead home ♪

♪ All of you, I'll hold ♪

♪ Inside of me, we'll grow ♪

♪ Forever be free ♪

♪ A great mystery ♪

♪ Of reality ♪

♪ My deepest blue ocean ♪

♪ My world, my truth ♪

♪ Always the moon
means you ♪

♪ The flower,
the root, the tree ♪

♪ The frisson
of swishing leaves ♪

♪ The stars and space
between the wonder ♪

♪ All of you, I'll hold ♪

♪ Inside of me, we'll grow ♪

♪ Forever be free ♪

♪ A great mystery ♪

♪ Of reality ♪