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1
00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:08,842
(television tuning
through channels)
2
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:12,052
(voice on TV): I may
have to ask for a loan.
3
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:15,640
(voice): Get your own place,
there's so many other options.
4
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,356
(TV beeping)
5
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,868
(audience cheering)
6
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,494
- Hey, come on!
7
00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:40,080
(audience cheering)
8
00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:41,874
Hey, I saw you last week, man.
9
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,209
Welcome.
10
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:48,005
Drama, betrayal, beef,
11
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,382
The Wahlid Show has it all,
12
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,676
and it starts right now.
13
00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:55,471
(narrator): This week,
lifelong friends...
14
00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,473
(Jasmeet): We've been friends
since high school.
15
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:58,515
(narrator):
...turn into enemies.
16
00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:00,392
- He's been taking from me!
17
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,645
Ask his mom, ask his sister,
everybody hates Jasmeet.
18
00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:04,813
(narrator): After this
YouTuber stylist...
19
00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:06,857
- I'm the reason why
he has any sense of style!
20
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:09,151
Look at him before,
he was trash.
21
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,570
(narrator): ...ditches him
for a more popular
22
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,364
and younger streamer.
23
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,532
(Prem): Hey, I'm Prem,
and I'm hot.
24
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,534
- She's doing it for
the clout, okay?
25
00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:19,871
I just want my friend back.
26
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:23,207
- I hate him!
(beep) you, Jasmeet!
27
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:24,249
We're done!
28
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,585
- Can this friendship be saved?
29
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,045
Or is it a forever beef?
30
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:31,298
We're going to find out.
Jasmeet, come on out!
31
00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,258
(audience cheers)
32
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,552
- Hey, everybody! Hey.
33
00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:37,429
(Wahlid): Big fan of your work.
34
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:40,307
- Thank you.
How are you? Hey.
35
00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:42,059
(Jasmeet chuckles)
Alright, hey.
36
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,895
- Jasmeet, welcome to the show.
Tell us, what's going on?
37
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:48,440
- Look, man. I wish I knew
what was going on, you know?
38
00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,609
I just want to know
why she ghosted me.
39
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,986
- And you guys have been
friends since high school?
40
00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:55,781
- Yeah. That's what
makes it even more sad.
41
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:58,117
She's like one of
my best friends.
42
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,952
(audience sighs)
43
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,245
(man): Man, she's
a snake for real!
44
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:02,746
- Appreciate you, thank you.
45
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:04,707
- And you claim she
left you for Prem,
46
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:07,668
the same guy that got you
cancelled on his live stream.
47
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:08,919
Yikes!
48
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,088
- That's what I'm saying!
That guy's a (beep) weasel-ass,
49
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:15,759
clout chasing, son of a (beep),
mother(beep), ass(beep).
50
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:19,430
(beep) I hate his (beep)
(extended beeping)
51
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:22,057
That's what I'm saying,
(beep) that guy.
52
00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:23,559
He's a clout chasing (beep)!
53
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,477
(audience cheering)
54
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,021
- Don't have a stroke now.
55
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,148
Jasmeet, what would you do
if Prem was here right now?
56
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,025
- Honestly, Wahlid,
if he was here right now
57
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,067
I'd (beep) him up.
58
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,944
- Really?
59
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,322
- (beep) that guy, as a matter
of fact, I wish he'd come out.
60
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,448
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
61
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,116
- You wish, you wish?
- Yeah, I wish.
62
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:40,909
- Be careful what you wish for.
Anyways, let's go ahead-
63
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:43,287
- Wait. Why'd you
give me that look?
64
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,497
- Huh? Don't worry
about it, alright?
65
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,957
- Wait, no, I...
66
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:49,293
- Well, I've got Chippy
backstage listening right now,
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00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:52,254
let's get to the bottom of this.
Chippy, come on out.
68
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,882
(audience members boo)
69
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:58,218
- Oh, (beep) you.
(beep), (beep) you!
70
00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:01,305
Which one of you (beep)holes
called me a snake, huh?
71
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,057
(beep), I bet it was you.
72
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:06,561
(beep) You left the house
like that? (beep) you.
73
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,271
- Chippy, why
the sudden betrayal?
74
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,856
- I have my reasons.
75
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:11,940
(audience members boo)
(man): Yeah, right!
76
00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:13,817
- Yeah, but what did I even do?
77
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,861
- Honestly, at this point,
it's so much stuff
78
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,739
I can't even keep track, like
you're so exhausting, Jasmeet.
79
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:19,656
- Ooh.
80
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:21,492
- I don't have the capacity
81
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:23,035
to do your emotional
labour anymore.
82
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,495
I should be getting paid!
83
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:25,621
(woman): Get your money, girl!
84
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,414
- Thank you!
85
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:28,957
- You know what,
Chippy, you're right.
86
00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:31,043
On this show, we believe
in women getting equal pay
87
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:31,960
for what they do.
88
00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:33,213
- Thank you.
89
00:03:33,745 --> 00:03:37,091
- You want to know
what's exhausting?
90
00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:40,678
You constantly using therapy-ass
lingo all the time on me.
91
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,888
Emotional labour this,
capacity that.
92
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,390
Like, what are
you even trying to say?
93
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,142
- You're criticizing me for how
I show up in our friendship
94
00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:48,894
to keep you accountable?
95
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,813
- No, I'm criticizing you
because all you do is act
96
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:53,607
like my (beep) therapist.
How about acting like my friend?
97
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:54,984
Just keep it real with me.
98
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:57,111
- Chippy, it can't be
that hard to keep it real.
99
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,737
- I'm not responsible
for you doing the work.
100
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,155
(woman): Yeah, do
the work, bitch!
101
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:02,408
- See, Wahlid, this is
what I'm saying, man.
102
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,368
Like, what does
"the work" even mean?
103
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,078
- Sounds like a nine to five.
104
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,163
(audience laughs)
105
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,708
- Maybe if you weren't so
self-absorbed in your own (beep)
106
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,668
and you actually looked up
out of your (beep)hole
107
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,211
at the rest of the world,
you'd know.
108
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:17,923
It's always your world, Jasmeet,
and we're all just living in it.
109
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:21,301
- I mean, it is Jasmeet's World,
am I right?
110
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:23,554
(audience laughs)
111
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,055
(cheering)
112
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,390
Thank you!
113
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,560
- Game recognize game, brother.
114
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,770
Let's take a quick break
and when we get back,
115
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,731
we'll find a little
solve For all of this.
116
00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:36,776
(audience applauding)
117
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,909
Okay. Hey, nice to meet you.
118
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:49,288
(Jasmeet): Hey, look, man,
I'm actually a huge fan.
119
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:52,124
You said something about
be careful what you wish for.
120
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,125
I just wanted to know...
121
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,296
(Wahlid): Don't worry
about it, alright?
122
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,965
(seal barking)
123
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,258
(narrator): First up
for the seals
124
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:04,470
is a new innovation in
the meal delivery space.
125
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,931
(dramatic music)
126
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,149
- Hello, Mummy.
What's for lunch?
127
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:21,403
Oh, shoot. I forgot you
are thousands of miles away,
128
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:22,905
all the way in India.
129
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,449
But I miss your cooking so much,
130
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,576
whatever can I do?
131
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,829
(Supinder): Don't worry, let
Supi Auntie take care of you!
132
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,332
Ha!
133
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,084
(Janat and Supinder):
Just Like Home Tiffins!
134
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,252
(Neal, delayed):
Just Like Home Tiffins. Fuck.
135
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:39,130
(laughing)
136
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:43,217
- I started this business
back in Covid,
137
00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:46,011
providing a good meal to all
the hard-working
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00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,806
international students
who don't have time to cook
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00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,599
or can't afford
expensive takeout.
140
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:54,019
Today I'm asking for $50,000
141
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:57,314
for my new kitchen renovations
in the backyard shed.
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00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,275
Including more cooking space,
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00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,403
storage, dishwashers,
144
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:07,408
and these cute reusable
metal tiffin containers,
145
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,909
just like in India.
146
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:11,161
You want to have a look, sir?
147
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:13,288
- Uh, yeah.
148
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:17,126
So, what is the valuation
of your company?
149
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:19,545
- Well, if you look
at your pamphlets,
150
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:22,589
you can see that this year
151
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:25,884
I have a new increase of 70%
152
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:28,387
in revenue from the time
153
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,639
I started in Covid to now.
154
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,683
The demand is soaring
155
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:35,644
and we are planning
to expand our operations,
156
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:38,313
while being ethically priced
157
00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:40,566
and environmentally friendly
158
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,152
because we are...
159
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,445
(Neal, early):
Just Like Home Tiffins!
160
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,530
(Janat and Supinder):
Just Like Home Tiffins!
161
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,782
- Yeah, cute. Okay.
162
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:52,244
Listen, I think it's kind
of bold to ask for 50k
163
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,415
for a tiny company
that has no real future.
164
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:59,793
And I mean, how do these
flimsy tins even work?
165
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:03,422
- Well, we bring the food
one day, we wash the dishes,
166
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:07,093
and we collect them the next day
with a brand new tiffin sets.
167
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,013
(Janat gasps)
168
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,476
- They're not even durable.
169
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:20,189
(narrator): Will our judges
move past this tiffin tantrum?
170
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:24,318
Or will Just Like Home
become just for home.
171
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,694
Find out next.
172
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,072
(seal barks)
173
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,283
(doorbell rings)
174
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:35,579
(upbeat music)
175
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:38,582
(rhythmic music)
176
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,292
- Welcome to Nest Quest!
177
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,669
We're on a mission to
connect sad, pathetic losers
178
00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,296
with their next best nest.
179
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,255
(doorbell rings)
180
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,925
- Hi, I'm Maanvi,
I'm an accountant,
181
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:50,719
I like to travel
and learn languages.
182
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,097
- She's freshly divorced,
looking to move out
183
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,640
of her overbearing
parents' house,
184
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,434
and start a brand-new life
as a strong, independent woman.
185
00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:59,603
- Just to clarify,
they're not overbearing.
186
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,814
Sorry, one second.
187
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,817
Haanji, mummy.
188
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,027
No, I'm out with a friend.
189
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,154
Tell Dadi I'll take her later.
190
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,115
No, I don't know anything
about her hemorrhoid cream,
191
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,908
why would I know
anything about that?
192
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,576
Why do you always
do this when I'm out?
193
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,036
You're so annoying!
194
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:19,665
- Okay! So, what kind of nest
are you on a quest for?
195
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,458
- I'm open to anything,
196
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,836
something cute with
ensuite laundry, maybe.
197
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,671
Close to work, I'm easy.
198
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,965
- Okay, sounds
not too difficult,
199
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,467
let's get on the quest.
200
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:33,430
(jovial music)
201
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:56,368
(soft music)
202
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,998
(birds chirping)
203
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:07,130
(soft music)
204
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,219
(sinister music)
205
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:19,349
No, no, don't let me interrupt
your little daydream moment.
206
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:23,103
Please, continue...
207
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:26,023
Don't you have any shame?
208
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:30,903
How many times have I
told you...
209
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,739
I like my kitchen filthy!
210
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,075
Understand?
211
00:09:35,076 --> 00:09:37,326
But my sweetest daughter-in-law.
212
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:40,913
Wouldn't a little cleanliness
help your mood
213
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,083
and the vibe in the house?
214
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:45,709
Vibe?
215
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:49,714
The vibe was fine until you
got here!
216
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:53,593
Interjecting yourself into every
little thing.
217
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,721
Ruining my tea.
218
00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:04,187
I like it weak! Weak like water!
219
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,815
I don't need your help.
220
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:11,027
I already have my little
student slave.
221
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:14,406
(sobbing)
222
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,744
What have you done to her?
223
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:25,291
Go somewhere else to rot out
the rest of your life!
224
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:28,378
We are modern Canadians,
225
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:32,632
we don't need you here!
226
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:35,726
Get up!
227
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,142
Oh god, what has happened?
228
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,356
(upbeat jingle)
229
00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:56,447
Welcome back to the show,
Jasmeet, tell me,
230
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:59,241
Chippy is working
with this guy Prem.
231
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:01,785
Does that bother you?
- Yeah, obviously it bothers me.
232
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,913
She's working with the guy
that set me up to crash out.
233
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:07,166
You're working with my op!
234
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,418
- Oh, he made you say
you're homophobic?
235
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:12,004
(Jasmeet): I'm not.
- Not cool, buddy.
236
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:14,214
- He rage-baited me into it.
It was intentional.
237
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:17,051
- Yo, this guy fell for
the rage bait, that's crazy.
238
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:19,303
- Can't you see how slimy
he moves? That's your man?
239
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,972
- He wants me to style him
and he's going to pay me.
240
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,058
What am I supposed to say? No?
241
00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,018
(woman): Mm-hmm,
get your money, girl!
242
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,145
- Thank you!
- I ain't going to lie, man.
243
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,648
Money is a second language.
And I be speaking it, man.
244
00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,524
(audience chuckles)
245
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,985
- There are other ways to make
money and promote yourself.
246
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:38,072
- Gee, if only I had a friend
who was really popping online
247
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:40,199
and could put me on
every once in a while.
248
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,827
You know, I even
made this jacket
249
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,662
for him to wear on the stream.
250
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,790
- That looks like support to me.
251
00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,708
- Yeah. If he had worn it.
252
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,794
(audience members gasp)
253
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:54,546
- Wait, wait, you're telling me
he didn't even wear the jacket?
254
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,257
- Alright, no disrespect,
it's just not my style.
255
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,801
- You asked me to
make it for you.
256
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:01,220
What are you talking about?
- What are you talking about?
257
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,931
I didn't ask you to make shit.
- Yeah? That's funny.
258
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:06,100
Because I got receipts.
259
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:07,976
- Oh, that is great, that's
great. Let's pull it up.
260
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:10,145
- Wait, why are you
bringing out a TV?
261
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,189
- Alright, we have a little
text exchange here.
262
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:15,067
Chippy, "Got some
good stuff on the way."
263
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,360
And we got some photos
of some fabric.
264
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:19,989
And Jasmeet, you responded with,
"Neeeed dat."
265
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:22,366
With four e's and a flex emoji.
266
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,702
I don't know about you guys,
267
00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:26,620
but this looks like
an agreement to me.
268
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,038
- See? I don't lie.
269
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:31,250
- Yo, I thought you were making
some futuristic-ass Sari, okay?
270
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:34,461
Like, we, we as in
the culture, need that.
271
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:37,047
- There he goes again,
saying things he doesn't mean.
272
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,550
- You send me a picture
of a pile of fabric
273
00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:41,760
and I'm supposed to know
that that's a jacket.
274
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,804
- It clearly looks
like a jacket! Are you blind?
275
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,223
- No, it clearly looks like
a bunch of cut up safety vests.
276
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:48,809
Like, guys, back me up.
Wahlid, back me up.
277
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,936
(Wahlid): I can kind of see
how it's a jacket.
278
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,271
- What! How?
279
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,939
- Can I actually get
a closer look at the jacket?
280
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,483
Sorry, I just want to take
a look. Yeah. Do you mind?
281
00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,402
I'm just going to
try this on real quick.
282
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,404
Nah, this is crazy,
what the heck?
283
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,865
Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
284
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,366
No, you a dummy on this.
285
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,160
Yo, dawg, take
a photo real quick?
286
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:08,996
(audience cheers)
287
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:11,498
Yeah! Oh! Oh! Oh!
288
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,500
Nah, dawg, you
actually slipped this,
289
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,919
because this is actually
so dumb, what the heck.
290
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,255
Yo, Chippy, after the show I'm
going to have our stylist
291
00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:20,716
get in touch, I'm just going
to have you make some pieces
292
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:23,302
for the show, because like,
this is crazy.
293
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,720
I'm going to wear this out of
the studio.
294
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,639
You didn't wear this jacket?
You didn't even try it on?
295
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,266
Yo, is he not a clown?
296
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:31,810
Like that's actually crazy,
he's dumb as hell.
297
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,145
Like he's actually dumb.
298
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,190
(audience members laugh)
299
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,399
(seals bark)
300
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,151
- Let me see if I
got this straight.
301
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,112
You're asking the consumer
302
00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:44,323
to wash their own dishes?
303
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:47,534
It's idiotic, it's inconvenient
304
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:49,495
to the consumer.
305
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,413
That's why there's services
like Skip The Dishes,
306
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,083
it's literally in the name,
307
00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:56,502
you eat, you toss, easy.
308
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:59,797
- But we are mindful about
the environmental impact.
309
00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:02,717
(laughing)
310
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:08,556
(all laughing)
311
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:12,559
Time for a little bit
of reality here, sweetie.
312
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,437
We all want to save the turtles
313
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:18,273
but paper straws suck.
314
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,858
Not in the way
they're supposed to,
315
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,277
they're supposed to suck up
the liquid, they don't,
316
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,947
they just suck, suck.
You get it.
317
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:27,324
People don't give two shits
318
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,159
if it makes their
lives inconvenient.
319
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,661
- Can you even swear
on this show?
320
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:33,455
- Fuck, yeah. Fuck, fuck, fuck,
you should give it a try,
321
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,499
I think it'd relax you
a lot more. Fuck!
322
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,835
So what is your profit
margin for the month?
323
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,044
Is it like 25 bucks?
324
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,046
- No, it's more than that,
if you look at the chart-
325
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,507
- I see no plans for expansion
outside your backyard.
326
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:44,717
No growth in different cities,
327
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:46,385
no growth in
different provinces.
328
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,264
There isn't even
butter chicken in this!
329
00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:52,349
Like, what kind of
Indian food is this?
330
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:53,892
- Sir, this is authentic
Kashmiri-Punjabi-
331
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,603
- No, no I haven't finished-
- Sir, you asked her a question.
332
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,105
- I am still talking!
- Mr. Seal, please.
333
00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,733
- I'm not finished!
334
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,776
- This guy's an asshole.
- Shut up.
335
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:03,945
- Sorry.
336
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,822
- Look, if you don't
have a real plan
337
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,949
for me to make real money,
338
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,285
I cannot see any value in this.
339
00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:14,079
We're not running
a charity, kids.
340
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,457
We like money.
341
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:19,668
Money.
Mon-mon-mon-mon-mon-mon-money.
342
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:22,504
You might as well be
pitching a soup kitchen
343
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:24,089
the way you're going.
344
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,467
Come on.
345
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,304
(narrator):
Will they seal the deal?
346
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:32,973
Or will her dreams get
clubbed away?
347
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:35,602
Find out next.
348
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,314
Kapow.
349
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,859
- Oh, God.
350
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,528
(seal barks)
351
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,533
(calm sigh)
352
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:55,872
- I will fix your problems.
353
00:15:57,248 --> 00:16:01,335
Hello, Haanji, who's
next on the phone call?
354
00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:04,505
(Gurdeep): Uh, Gurd...
Gurpreet Bhatta.
355
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:07,424
- And what is the seem problem?
356
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:08,384
(Gurdeep in Punjabi)
357
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:10,302
Yes, I'm calling because...
358
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:13,013
(in English): I have someone in
my life...
359
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:14,431
... and I love her but,
360
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,266
- But I have to tell her...
- Yes.
361
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:19,395
(Gurdeep): I don't like
what she's doing.
362
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:24,108
- Well, listen, buddy.
Relationships, they take time.
363
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:26,944
So if you just talk to her.
364
00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:30,406
(Gurdeep): Anything more
least confrontational?
365
00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:34,118
Are you able to give me some
kind of magic spell
366
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:37,414
to get my mom to go back
to India?
367
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:41,208
- What the hell you think I am?
Like the wizard?
368
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,960
You think I'm a wizard
or something?
369
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:45,296
Help me, please.
370
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:48,215
- Buddy, go to a counselor
or something like that.
371
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,842
Not me, okay?
372
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:52,511
I'm just, I'm here
to sell some ad space,
373
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,638
I'm not qualified at all.
374
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,307
This isn't even my real hair.
375
00:16:57,308 --> 00:17:00,019
My real name
is Charles, actually.
376
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,521
You an call me Chuck.
377
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:07,777
? I will fix your problems ?
378
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:12,699
(soft music)
379
00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:20,707
(birds chirping)
380
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:25,127
(tense music)
381
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:27,255
I'm going out, bitch.
382
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:31,008
Beta, maybe you can cover
up more?
383
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:33,053
For your own safety that is.
384
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:37,014
This is the fashion these days!
385
00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:41,352
Being as naked as possible
is cool, okay?
386
00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:44,439
Your traditional ways
of thinking are garbage.
387
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,607
(in English): I'm going to go
drink 50 beers
388
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:50,570
and smoke 75 cigarettes
and kiss 100 boys now.
389
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:59,079
Beta, I spent all day
knitting this sweater for you.
390
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:06,502
- Great! I can use
this to wipe up my filthy,
391
00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:11,298
bloody, disgusting
junkie period blood.
392
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:14,177
(scary music)
393
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:21,851
(spits)
394
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:32,903
We used to hide our periods
in shame,
395
00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:37,158
pretend like they didn't
even exist.
396
00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:39,910
Oh my strong son.
397
00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:42,621
You will save me
from the darkness of this home.
398
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,125
When will you come home?
399
00:18:46,318 --> 00:18:51,088
(narrator, in English):
Next time, on The Wahlid Show.
400
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,881
- You locked me out
of our YouTube channel,
401
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,258
and now he's making
videos by himself.
402
00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:55,926
- Whatever, bro!
403
00:18:55,927 --> 00:18:58,137
Why don't you go get deported
again like you always do?
404
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:01,015
- What? You know that's
a sensitive topic for me.
405
00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:02,683
- True. Sorry.
406
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,685
Bro, if you actually think about
it, if you never got deported
407
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:06,061
then we would've never met.
- Yeah.
408
00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:09,273
- And we would never have become
(together): best friends.
409
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,650
Why are we even on this show?
410
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,027
(audence sighs)
411
00:19:13,028 --> 00:19:15,195
(together): And why does
this guy smell like ketchup?
412
00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:16,447
(audience laughs)
413
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,824
And why is his
chest hair poking out?
414
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,577
- Bro, my grandma just died,
want to go to her house
415
00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:23,454
to see if we can
find something cool?
416
00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:25,372
- What?
- Yeah!
417
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:26,749
(audience cheers)
418
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:29,543
- Well, this episode
is going to suck, so...
419
00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:31,713
(funky music)
420
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:35,382
- Alright, Mrs. Dutta.
421
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:38,678
Explain to me why
I should give a crap.
422
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:44,267
- Okay? Yeah.
423
00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:49,813
- I cook every day
because I love to feed
424
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:52,024
those less fortunate than me.
425
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:54,485
We employ students
because we care.
426
00:19:54,486 --> 00:19:57,112
We keep the prices low
because we care.
427
00:19:57,113 --> 00:20:00,741
We have love for them,
as if they are our own family.
428
00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:03,620
(sentimental music)
429
00:20:04,788 --> 00:20:06,747
No one watches out for them
430
00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:09,083
and as a mother
it breaks my heart.
431
00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:14,129
All you people care about
is money, money, money.
432
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,590
But where is your decency?
433
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,675
Sitting on millions of dollars,
434
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,387
having fancy suits, nice cars,
435
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:24,181
don't you ever think
to spend some of it
436
00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:27,018
to help those who do so good?
437
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:29,979
(narrator): Wow!
Will her passion be enough
438
00:20:29,980 --> 00:20:32,232
for the judges
to have a change of heart?
439
00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:37,778
- That was so lovely.
440
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:41,323
I really hope they put
some violins behind that,
441
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:43,158
because that was beautiful.
442
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:46,370
But, we're out.
443
00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:49,624
(banging sound effects)
444
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,210
(sighs)
445
00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:54,545
- Fine.
446
00:20:54,546 --> 00:20:57,131
I think this is
the wrong place for someone
447
00:20:57,132 --> 00:21:00,676
who isn't a selfish
asshole head like you!
448
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:03,011
Challo, let's go.
449
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:06,265
(narrator): Oh! Uh, wow, okay.
450
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:09,059
Uh, I thought she'd
at least throw a counter-offer.
451
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,144
Alright.
452
00:21:10,145 --> 00:21:12,229
Well, anyways,
up next we have a-
453
00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,480
- Wait.
(narrator): Oh.
454
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,316
- Just one more idea.
455
00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:16,859
It's like sled pants.
456
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:20,363
Like pants with a sled
if you forget your sled.
457
00:21:22,157 --> 00:21:24,616
Fuck you, fuck your wife.
458
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,285
(man): She's not my wife.
459
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,662
- And fuck the hot guy.
He should be in the middle.
460
00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:31,708
(tense music)
461
00:21:34,419 --> 00:21:36,046
(doorbell rings)
462
00:21:37,255 --> 00:21:39,256
(cheery music)
463
00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:41,383
(host): Alright, what do you
think of this one?
464
00:21:41,384 --> 00:21:42,593
12th floor, lake view?
465
00:21:42,594 --> 00:21:44,511
- Uh...
466
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:46,680
I don't think my mom
would like that place.
467
00:21:46,681 --> 00:21:48,265
She'd get sick there.
468
00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:50,142
- Okay, well actually, right
next door we have this one.
469
00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:52,436
Amenities include
a squash court.
470
00:21:52,437 --> 00:21:54,396
- No, that's too high up
for my dad.
471
00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:57,066
- Alright. Yeah, this place.
- No.
472
00:21:57,067 --> 00:22:00,069
- Right here is a church,
an old church.
473
00:22:00,070 --> 00:22:01,445
- So it's haunted?
474
00:22:01,446 --> 00:22:02,654
- Uhh... What about here?
475
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:05,783
(overlapping discussion)
476
00:22:05,784 --> 00:22:07,951
- I don't like it.
- Okay.
477
00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:10,579
Alright. What do you
think of right here?
478
00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:12,915
(overlapping discussion)
479
00:22:12,916 --> 00:22:14,750
And you share it with
an old Portuguese woman.
480
00:22:14,751 --> 00:22:18,672
(overlapping discussion)
481
00:22:22,717 --> 00:22:24,677
(shouting)
482
00:22:24,678 --> 00:22:27,054
- Okay. We have looked
at over 200 places
483
00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:28,555
and you've had a problem
with each of them.
484
00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:30,891
- Well, my dad wouldn't like how
high up any of those are...
485
00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:33,018
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, and your
mom's going to get vertigo.
486
00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:36,063
Do you realize that we have
never not matched a bird
487
00:22:36,064 --> 00:22:38,565
with a new nest before?
I'm not giving up, okay?
488
00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:40,275
I'm not fucking giving up.
489
00:22:40,276 --> 00:22:42,486
- Wow. That's really great,
thank you.
490
00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:44,113
- Argh! Jim.
I need more cigarettes,
491
00:22:44,114 --> 00:22:46,532
more coffee and more coke.
Way more fucking coke.
492
00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:48,242
(beep)
493
00:22:48,243 --> 00:22:50,370
(doorbell rings)
494
00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:54,874
(cheery music)
495
00:22:57,544 --> 00:22:59,379
Son, you're home?
496
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,466
Save me from the darkness
of this home.
497
00:23:05,176 --> 00:23:09,723
My back is aching. Could you
take me to the doctor?
498
00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:12,558
(whispering)
499
00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:14,184
My son, what's gotten into you?
500
00:23:14,185 --> 00:23:16,854
(Maanvi, in English): She sucks,
get her out of the house.
501
00:23:16,855 --> 00:23:18,355
Tell her to take the bus.
502
00:23:18,356 --> 00:23:20,899
- Yes, take the bus.
503
00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:24,278
Catch the bus, old hag!
504
00:23:24,279 --> 00:23:26,655
I don't have any money!
505
00:23:26,656 --> 00:23:28,699
And I can't understand these
white people.
506
00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:30,868
(in English):
That's not my fault.
507
00:23:30,869 --> 00:23:33,704
You are an uneducated fool!
508
00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:36,915
- I bet she can't even read.
509
00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:38,625
Uneducated woman!
510
00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:41,420
(laughing manically)
511
00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:45,049
My sweet son, what dark magic
have these witches done to you?!
512
00:23:45,050 --> 00:23:46,884
(growling)
513
00:23:46,885 --> 00:23:48,469
(elephant trumpets)
514
00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:51,139
(maniacal laughing continues)
515
00:23:53,892 --> 00:23:56,643
I just wanted to give my love,
516
00:23:56,644 --> 00:23:58,813
but no one understands me
in this home.
517
00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:03,151
(crying)
518
00:24:05,737 --> 00:24:09,199
Take me away from here!
519
00:24:12,327 --> 00:24:15,162
(laughing continues)
520
00:24:15,163 --> 00:24:17,373
(seals bark)
521
00:24:17,374 --> 00:24:20,376
(narrator): How does it feel
to not seal the deal?
522
00:24:20,377 --> 00:24:24,046
- I just thought they would see
the importance of my company.
523
00:24:24,047 --> 00:24:26,341
So yes, I am disappointed.
524
00:24:27,884 --> 00:24:30,720
- Wow, look who it is.
525
00:24:31,096 --> 00:24:33,305
- Jaspreet?
What are you doing here?
526
00:24:33,306 --> 00:24:36,266
- Oh, I'm just pitching
my new business.
527
00:24:36,267 --> 00:24:38,560
And I have to thank
Jasmeet for it.
528
00:24:38,561 --> 00:24:40,354
He really got me
back on my feet.
529
00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:43,691
- This is confusing.
- Tell Maanvi I said hi.
530
00:24:43,692 --> 00:24:45,402
Arf, arf, arf, go seals!
531
00:24:46,361 --> 00:24:48,404
(narrator):
What happens for you now?
532
00:24:48,405 --> 00:24:53,534
- You know, I have a lot
to think about. Thank you.
533
00:24:53,535 --> 00:24:55,452
(narrator): Looks like she does
534
00:24:55,453 --> 00:24:58,205
have a lot to got
to think about...
535
00:24:58,206 --> 00:25:01,458
Woah. Woah, woah, hey.
What's going on here?
536
00:25:01,459 --> 00:25:02,793
(gasps)
537
00:25:02,794 --> 00:25:04,795
- Oh, um.
538
00:25:04,796 --> 00:25:07,339
Bhua ji, we were just
looking for the car...
539
00:25:07,340 --> 00:25:09,216
What the hell's gotten into
these two?
540
00:25:09,217 --> 00:25:11,627
No, Auntie, wait, please.
Please, Auntie, wait.
541
00:25:12,137 --> 00:25:14,055
(sighs)
542
00:25:14,848 --> 00:25:16,890
- Can I have 100 bucks?
543
00:25:16,891 --> 00:25:18,559
- Oh, fuck off.
544
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,437
- Just 50, or...
545
00:25:21,062 --> 00:25:22,689
Just give me a ride home?
546
00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:25,816
(narrator):
Will Neal get a ride home?
547
00:25:25,817 --> 00:25:27,192
(doorbell rings)
548
00:25:27,193 --> 00:25:29,945
- Okay, after taking everything
549
00:25:29,946 --> 00:25:31,363
you told us into consideration,
550
00:25:31,364 --> 00:25:34,867
we have found the perfect
place for you, finally.
551
00:25:34,868 --> 00:25:36,827
What do you think?
- What the heck!
552
00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:38,495
Let's do this thing!
- Okay, great!
553
00:25:38,496 --> 00:25:40,539
That's the spirit.
- Does it have a pool?
554
00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:42,291
- Uh, sure, yeah.
555
00:25:42,292 --> 00:25:44,877
- What about, um, in-suite
laundry, does it have that?
556
00:25:44,878 --> 00:25:46,295
- Don't worry about that,
557
00:25:46,296 --> 00:25:48,964
there's someone who does it
here, she's very motherly.
558
00:25:48,965 --> 00:25:51,633
A few more steps, and...
559
00:25:51,634 --> 00:25:53,928
Take off your blindfold!
560
00:25:55,847 --> 00:25:57,806
- What? I don't...
561
00:25:57,807 --> 00:25:59,183
I don't want to be here.
562
00:25:59,184 --> 00:26:00,726
- Well, because you
can't tell your parents
563
00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:04,438
that you want to move out,
we found the only spot for you,
564
00:26:04,439 --> 00:26:05,814
so let's take a tour.
565
00:26:05,815 --> 00:26:07,733
- I'll look at
the other places...
566
00:26:07,734 --> 00:26:09,568
- Time to go on the tour.
567
00:26:09,569 --> 00:26:12,780
- No.
- No? No, no, come on.
568
00:26:12,781 --> 00:26:14,281
(Maanvi wailing)
569
00:26:14,282 --> 00:26:16,992
- Here's where you'll
be sleeping forever
570
00:26:16,993 --> 00:26:19,453
because you can't
grow past your guilt.
571
00:26:19,454 --> 00:26:20,537
- No!
572
00:26:20,538 --> 00:26:22,873
- The same room, the same house,
573
00:26:22,874 --> 00:26:25,209
the same people,
until they get old.
574
00:26:25,210 --> 00:26:27,419
- No!
- And then you get old.
575
00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:28,462
- No!
576
00:26:28,463 --> 00:26:32,591
- Forever and ever until
you're a spinster...
577
00:26:32,592 --> 00:26:34,259
- No!
- ...divorc�e...
578
00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:35,636
- Please.
- ...living with your parents.
579
00:26:35,637 --> 00:26:38,722
- I'll live anywhere.
- It's too late for that now.
580
00:26:38,723 --> 00:26:40,557
- I'll live with
the Portuguese lady.
581
00:26:40,558 --> 00:26:43,185
- She's dead.
- I don't need to take showers.
582
00:26:43,186 --> 00:26:44,728
(laughing evilly)
I'm stinky Maanvi.
583
00:26:44,729 --> 00:26:47,356
Please, please,
you can't do this.
584
00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:50,651
You can't do this.
- We didn't do anything, Maanvi.
585
00:26:50,652 --> 00:26:51,944
You did this.
- I can't be here.
586
00:26:51,945 --> 00:26:53,696
I can't be here.
587
00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:55,823
(host): Wait, no, get back here!
Don't do that! Don't...
588
00:26:55,824 --> 00:26:57,574
Come back!
589
00:26:57,575 --> 00:27:01,621
(Maanvi yells)
590
00:27:03,248 --> 00:27:05,542
Oh, she'll be back later on.
591
00:27:06,543 --> 00:27:07,960
Oh, gosh.
592
00:27:07,961 --> 00:27:10,045
Oh, it's good.
593
00:27:10,046 --> 00:27:12,673
I could live here.
594
00:27:12,674 --> 00:27:15,342
Mummy? Mummyji?
595
00:27:15,343 --> 00:27:16,468
West is hungry.
596
00:27:16,469 --> 00:27:18,179
(cheery music)
597
00:27:20,765 --> 00:27:24,101
- I just don't understand why
you're so mad about a jacket.
598
00:27:24,102 --> 00:27:26,270
- Oh, my God, it's not
just about the jacket.
599
00:27:26,271 --> 00:27:29,189
- I mean, Chippy, you've gotta
spell it out for us, right guys?
600
00:27:29,190 --> 00:27:31,108
(audience murmurs in agreement)
601
00:27:31,109 --> 00:27:33,528
- Alright, fine. Here it is.
602
00:27:35,113 --> 00:27:39,367
Jasmeet, you were the first
person I came out to.
603
00:27:40,702 --> 00:27:42,661
Do you know how hard that was?
604
00:27:42,662 --> 00:27:44,664
And still is?
605
00:27:45,749 --> 00:27:49,335
- Yeah. I know, okay?
606
00:27:49,336 --> 00:27:52,254
- So then why haven't you
addressed your crash out?
607
00:27:52,255 --> 00:27:54,798
All your little fans
are out there
608
00:27:54,799 --> 00:27:56,008
thinking it's cool
to be homophobic.
609
00:27:56,009 --> 00:27:57,634
- No, they don't,
it's like 2% of them.
610
00:27:57,635 --> 00:27:59,636
- Have you even looked
at what they're saying?
611
00:27:59,637 --> 00:28:02,139
- Why do you care so much
about these like redpill bros?
612
00:28:02,140 --> 00:28:04,516
I can't control what
the internet thinks.
613
00:28:04,517 --> 00:28:06,769
- Not control, influence.
614
00:28:06,770 --> 00:28:08,228
(sighs)
615
00:28:08,229 --> 00:28:10,731
You know how weird
brown people are
616
00:28:10,732 --> 00:28:13,109
when it comes to queer issues.
617
00:28:14,069 --> 00:28:17,196
- Okay. I'm going to address it.
618
00:28:17,197 --> 00:28:19,114
I just need some time.
619
00:28:19,115 --> 00:28:21,909
I don't want to come across
as fake and performative.
620
00:28:21,910 --> 00:28:23,744
I want to it right.
621
00:28:23,745 --> 00:28:26,623
- Okay. Yeah.
622
00:28:27,832 --> 00:28:30,084
It's not just about the apology.
623
00:28:30,085 --> 00:28:33,588
It's about how easily
you said what you said.
624
00:28:34,089 --> 00:28:35,589
- You're right.
625
00:28:35,590 --> 00:28:39,052
I get it and I'm sorry.
626
00:28:41,346 --> 00:28:45,058
(audience members clap)
627
00:28:45,059 --> 00:28:48,268
But, if I'm going to
be honest with you,
628
00:28:48,269 --> 00:28:51,855
I can't help but feel
like I was disrespected too.
629
00:28:51,856 --> 00:28:53,148
(audience members gasp)
630
00:28:53,149 --> 00:28:55,150
- What?
(Jasmeet): Yes.
631
00:28:55,151 --> 00:28:56,360
- You're kidding.
632
00:28:56,361 --> 00:28:58,946
- No, I'm not,
you ditched me for that idiot.
633
00:28:58,947 --> 00:29:02,033
- Jasmeet, all I do
is support you.
634
00:29:02,325 --> 00:29:05,828
You never do the same for me,
you understand that, right?
635
00:29:05,829 --> 00:29:07,621
Meanwhile,
I've been there for you.
636
00:29:07,622 --> 00:29:10,040
Your mom, your sister,
your whole family,
637
00:29:10,041 --> 00:29:11,542
when you choose not to.
638
00:29:11,543 --> 00:29:13,836
- Well, nobody
asked you to, okay?
639
00:29:13,837 --> 00:29:15,045
This is insane.
640
00:29:15,046 --> 00:29:16,964
I've done so much for my family.
641
00:29:16,965 --> 00:29:18,298
So much.
642
00:29:18,299 --> 00:29:20,801
And the one time that
I do something for myself,
643
00:29:20,802 --> 00:29:22,052
everybody has a problem with it.
644
00:29:22,053 --> 00:29:24,596
- One time? It's all the time.
645
00:29:24,597 --> 00:29:27,224
And everyone just
keeps covering for you.
646
00:29:27,225 --> 00:29:30,060
You know what?
You're not just a shitty friend.
647
00:29:30,061 --> 00:29:31,937
You're a shitty son.
648
00:29:31,938 --> 00:29:33,732
You're a shitty brother.
649
00:29:34,274 --> 00:29:37,234
You're a shitty person, period.
650
00:29:37,235 --> 00:29:39,153
(audience members gasp)
651
00:29:39,154 --> 00:29:41,281
- So then why are
you friends with me?
652
00:29:42,157 --> 00:29:44,116
- I don't know.
- So you can use me?
653
00:29:44,117 --> 00:29:45,576
To push your ugly jacket?
654
00:29:45,577 --> 00:29:48,537
Or is it so you can use me
to feel better about yourself.
655
00:29:48,538 --> 00:29:50,873
"Oh, look at me, I'm Chippy,
I'm going to go around fixing
656
00:29:50,874 --> 00:29:53,667
everyone that I can, even though
it's none of my business.
657
00:29:53,668 --> 00:29:56,086
And anybody else that
doesn't do the same
658
00:29:56,087 --> 00:29:57,755
and anybody else that
doesn't think like me
659
00:29:57,756 --> 00:29:59,423
must be a shitty person."
660
00:29:59,424 --> 00:30:01,550
I'm sorry I don't have like,
661
00:30:01,551 --> 00:30:03,260
two, three million
more followers,
662
00:30:03,261 --> 00:30:06,096
because then this whole thing
would not be a problem.
663
00:30:06,097 --> 00:30:08,766
- Oh, my God, you're
talking about Prem, right?
664
00:30:08,767 --> 00:30:11,560
This is not about Prem.
You're so jealous of the guy,
665
00:30:11,561 --> 00:30:13,562
you can't even see
that it's about you!
666
00:30:13,563 --> 00:30:16,398
- Oh, yeah, no, I'm real jealous
that I'm not being glazed
667
00:30:16,399 --> 00:30:18,400
by a bunch of
(beep) 12-year-olds.
668
00:30:18,401 --> 00:30:20,194
- You want to be him so bad,
it's so pathetic.
669
00:30:20,195 --> 00:30:22,154
- Yeah, no, I'm real jealous.
670
00:30:22,155 --> 00:30:24,448
That I'm not hacky
and I'm not going to be replaced
671
00:30:24,449 --> 00:30:26,575
by a younger,
hotter version of me.
672
00:30:26,576 --> 00:30:28,285
And then what?
Then what am I going to do?
673
00:30:28,286 --> 00:30:30,329
Go on TikTok
and beg for galaxies?
674
00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:32,081
"Please, guys, send me
a galaxy, what's up,
675
00:30:32,082 --> 00:30:33,457
hit that like,
yeah, yeah, yeah."
676
00:30:33,458 --> 00:30:35,125
- Come on, man.
- Do birthday cameo shoutouts?
677
00:30:35,126 --> 00:30:38,087
"Hey! Happy bar mitzvah,
can you pay me 10 bucks?
678
00:30:38,088 --> 00:30:40,839
Hey, happy Diwali, $50 please."
679
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:42,049
(audience laughs)
680
00:30:42,050 --> 00:30:44,635
He's a hack, he's a (beep)hole,
681
00:30:44,636 --> 00:30:46,512
he's not even that
good-looking to be honest,
682
00:30:46,513 --> 00:30:49,598
he has no style, he's going
to be washed in a year or two.
683
00:30:49,599 --> 00:30:51,975
Prem, come on guys, Prem sucks,
684
00:30:51,976 --> 00:30:54,812
Prem sucks, Prem sucks.
685
00:30:54,813 --> 00:30:56,271
- Alright, alright, alright.
686
00:30:56,272 --> 00:30:59,108
Well, speak of the devil,
here comes Prem!
687
00:30:59,109 --> 00:31:00,985
(audience members cheer)
688
00:31:00,986 --> 00:31:02,861
- Prem is here, come on!
- Wait, what?
689
00:31:02,862 --> 00:31:05,614
- Give it up for Prem, yeah!
The hottest man on the internet.
690
00:31:05,615 --> 00:31:08,075
- Let's go! What's that (beep)
you've been saying about me?
691
00:31:08,076 --> 00:31:10,077
Glazing 12-year-olds?
692
00:31:10,078 --> 00:31:11,495
- What the hell's going on here?
693
00:31:11,496 --> 00:31:12,621
(Wahlid): The Wahlid Show, baby.
694
00:31:12,622 --> 00:31:15,916
- You're right.
You could never be me.
695
00:31:15,917 --> 00:31:18,419
That's why I stole your girl.
696
00:31:18,420 --> 00:31:21,256
(audience shouting)
697
00:31:23,883 --> 00:31:25,759
(crowd screaming)
698
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,762
(overlapping yells)
699
00:31:28,763 --> 00:31:34,852
(beeping repeatedly)
700
00:31:34,853 --> 00:31:39,189
- Oh my God! Stop! (bleep) stop!
701
00:31:39,190 --> 00:31:41,568
Stop! Fucking stop!
702
00:31:43,445 --> 00:31:45,488
What is wrong with you?
703
00:31:47,782 --> 00:31:49,366
You know what?
704
00:31:49,367 --> 00:31:51,535
I can't do this anymore. Okay?
705
00:31:51,536 --> 00:31:55,164
Wear the jacket,
don't wear the fucking jacket,
706
00:31:55,165 --> 00:31:57,541
I don't fucking care.
I don't care anymore.
707
00:31:57,542 --> 00:32:00,252
Get your ass beat on live TV,
708
00:32:00,253 --> 00:32:02,838
clout chase all you want,
I'm done with you!
709
00:32:02,839 --> 00:32:04,424
I'm fucking done!
710
00:32:12,223 --> 00:32:13,599
(Wahlid): Ooh.
711
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:15,310
(door shuts)
712
00:32:17,228 --> 00:32:20,064
Well, I'm glad
she didn't take this
713
00:32:20,065 --> 00:32:22,483
because these are expensive.
714
00:32:22,484 --> 00:32:24,985
Like, 300 bucks for
one of these things.
715
00:32:24,986 --> 00:32:27,613
It's so annoying, too,
because if you lose one
716
00:32:27,614 --> 00:32:29,281
then you can't use
the other one.
717
00:32:29,282 --> 00:32:31,367
This is all like TV stuff,
718
00:32:31,368 --> 00:32:33,535
you probably have no idea
what I'm talking about.
719
00:32:33,536 --> 00:32:35,913
It sounds like Chinese to you,
what I'm saying.
720
00:32:35,914 --> 00:32:39,542
(funky music)
721
00:32:43,838 --> 00:32:45,673
(music stops)
722
00:32:49,928 --> 00:32:52,305
(funky music continues)
723
00:32:59,229 --> 00:33:01,647
- It's tiffins, done different.
724
00:33:01,648 --> 00:33:04,066
With cheap, reusable packaging,
725
00:33:04,067 --> 00:33:06,318
AI robots making
all the deliveries,
726
00:33:06,319 --> 00:33:08,946
and barely any
labour costs for cooking.
727
00:33:08,947 --> 00:33:10,614
- How is that possible?
728
00:33:10,615 --> 00:33:14,368
- Well, my uncle
is the head secretary
729
00:33:14,369 --> 00:33:16,620
at one of the local Gurdwaras,
730
00:33:16,621 --> 00:33:19,206
so I may have cut him
a little deal,
731
00:33:19,207 --> 00:33:21,291
if I bring in
some of the groceries,
732
00:33:21,292 --> 00:33:22,876
they'll set aside some food
733
00:33:22,877 --> 00:33:25,004
that the volunteers
will cook in the Langar Hall.
734
00:33:25,005 --> 00:33:27,339
I repackage it, resell it!
735
00:33:27,340 --> 00:33:30,134
- Using existing kitchens
and free labour,
736
00:33:30,135 --> 00:33:31,802
there's barely any overhead.
737
00:33:31,803 --> 00:33:34,805
- Exactly. With the network
of community kitchens
738
00:33:34,806 --> 00:33:37,391
and langar halls set up
across the country,
739
00:33:37,392 --> 00:33:40,603
we can use this model
to expand all over.
740
00:33:42,147 --> 00:33:44,274
- Holy shit,
I am so wet right now.
741
00:33:44,941 --> 00:33:48,193
- Also, butter chicken
poutine anyone?
742
00:33:48,194 --> 00:33:50,696
(panellists gasp)
743
00:33:50,697 --> 00:33:53,867
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Give it.
744
00:33:56,161 --> 00:33:58,538
(laughing)
745
00:34:02,584 --> 00:34:07,797
We're going to be rich.
746
00:34:08,423 --> 00:34:10,090
We're going to be rich.
747
00:34:10,091 --> 00:34:11,550
We're going to
be rich.
748
00:34:11,551 --> 00:34:15,512
We're going to be rich.
749
00:34:15,513 --> 00:34:17,389
We're going to
be rich.
750
00:34:17,390 --> 00:34:20,434
We're going to be rich.
We're going to be rich.
751
00:34:20,435 --> 00:34:25,230
We're going to be rich.
We're going to be rich.
752
00:34:25,231 --> 00:34:26,649
We're going to be rich.
753
00:34:26,650 --> 00:34:28,400
We're going
to be rich.
754
00:34:28,401 --> 00:34:30,403
(seal barks)
755
00:34:31,237 --> 00:34:34,991
(theme music)
756
00:34:41,039 --> 00:34:43,750
Subtitling: difuze
757
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:48,350
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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