Original subtitles

- I thought it was toe fingers.

- Whatcha you want for lunch?

- Uh, I'm not sure.

Hey, festus!

- Hello, buddy.

Welcome to lunch.

- Whatcha got today? - Let's see.

I have the spaghetti, the ravioli.

- Oh, I love ravioli. - You let me finish!

- Ok. Sorry.

Go ahead. Finish.

- That's all we got, the spaghetti and the ravioli.

- I'll have the ravioli.

- Yeah, me too.

- I will get your foods.

- Hi. What's for lunch?

- Oh, he's got the spaghetti, the ravioli.

Ravioli?

- You let her finish!

- Oh, hey, I just wanted to remind you guys

that I'm going away to Cancun with Beck's

family for semester break and you

guys have nothing fun to do.

- So you got nothing to do for semester break?

- No.

- Come to the back of my truck.

- He wants you to go behind his truck.

- I know.

Ravioli.

- Like pasta pillows.

- You got a nice truck.

- Don't lie to me. - I'm sorry.

- Listen... how would you and your friends

like to take a trip to my home country, yerba?

- Yerba?

- It's a very exotic island.

- Like Hawaii?

- Sure, yeah, like that.

- My brother, he's in charge of best hotel

in yerba, and my people, they love to see

American-style entertainment.

Bit of singing, the dancing.

So if you and your friends will sing and dance at the hotel,

my brother will make your whole trip for free.

- That sounds amazing.

- So you take down my brother's phone number in yerba.

- Ok. - You reach him by dialing 0, 5.

- 0, 5. - 6, 3, 1.

- 6, 3, 1. - 7, 7, 1.

- 7, 7, 1. - 8, 1.

- 8, 1. - 3, 6, 5.

- 3, 6, 5. - 7, 5, 2.

- 7, 5, 2.

8, 3, 6.

- 8, 3, 6.

-6 ,7. -6, 7.

- 7, 4, 3. - Come on, buddy!

♪ Here I am once again ♪

♪ feeling lost but now and then ♪

♪ I breathe it in to let it go ♪

♪ and you don't know where you are now ♪

♪ what it will come to if only somebody could hear ♪

♪ when you figure out how you're lost in the moment ♪

♪ you disappear ♪

♪ you don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action ♪

♪ you're never gonna fade ♪

♪ you'll be the main attraction ♪

♪ not a fantasy ♪

♪ just remember me ♪

♪ when it turns out right ♪

♪ 'cause you know that if you live in your imagination ♪

♪ tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination ♪

♪ in my victory ♪

♪ just remember me ♪

♪ when I make it shine ♪♪

- So I called his brother as soon as I got home,

and it's true-- they'll pay for our plane fares,

our hotel rooms, our food,

and all we have to do is one performance a night.

- That sounds so fun.

- And this island, uh--

- yerba. - It's a cool place?

- Yeah. Festus said it's kind of like Hawaii.

- Mm. - Oh!

And I went to the official yerba website, and look.

Oh, look at that.

Oh, a white sand beach.

- Computer.

Ok, so if your parents say it's cool, do guys want to do it?

- Yeah, sure. - Awesome!

Here, check out some more pics of the resort.

- All right, cool.

- I'm never playing mini golf with you guys again!

- Promise?

- What happened?

- Trina missed a put, so she got upset

and threw a golf club at her father.

- No, I threw my golf club, and dad just stood there

and let it hit him.

- Well... that was fun.

- Oh, honey.

It's throbbing.

Trina, get an ice pack.

- No! I have to go paint my nails.

- But...

- Ohh, it is throbbing.

- Yes.

Yes, thank you, baby. Ohh.

- Oh, hey, did you talk to your friends about yerba?

- Yeah, I think we're all going.

- Good! You're taking trina. - No.

- Yes. - You are taking trina.

- Not happening.

- We'll buy you a car.

- Any car you want.

You don't even have to bring her back!

- My mom says Rex and I can go to yerba,

but there has to be an adult chaperone.

- I thought your mom moved out.

- She's giving me one more chance.

- Of course you have to have an adult chaperone.

- Why? I'm 16.

- Adult chaperone or no trip. - Dad.

- Please don't argue with me while my nose is throbbing.

- Ugh!

- Um, uh, could I feel your throbbing nose?

- Walk away.

- Yes, sir.

- Yerba? - Yeah.

It's a small island just off the coast of--

- oh, I know where it is.

I spent two weeks in yerba when I was 23.

- Cool.

So what's it like?

- I remember nothing of that trip.

- Well, do you want to be our chaperone?

- To what?

- Our trip to yerba.

- Yerba?

I spent two weeks there when I was 23.

- Will you just be our chaperone?

- Of course!

- Yay!

- So, who all is coming?

- Ok, it's gonna be me, Andre, cat--

- no, I don't wanna ask her!

No! - Come on! Come on.

- Yah!

- We'll both ask her.

- What's going on?

- My aunt says we can't go to Cancun.

- Ohh, how come?

- She found out I was bringing Jade.

- Ha!

- So we hear some of you guys are going to yerba.

- Yes.

Yes, we are.

Would you like to come to yerba with us, Beck?

- Oh, that'd be great. Thanks.

- Hmm.

- Jade... do you have a question for me?

- Can I come to yerba?

- Hm.

Maybe... but first you gotta give me a hug.

Come on. Just do it.

Ohh, see?

Giving Tori a big old hug isn't such a bad thing.

Ok.

That's really tight.

Oh god, help me!

- So I was dialing one of those things where--

- this dump is our hotel?

- Yeah.

- Gross.

- Now I'm kind of glad I don't remember this place.

- Hello!

Hello to you, buddies.

Which is Tori vega?

- Oh, that's me.

Are you festus's brother?

- Yes, buddy!

I am sgrodis.

Is happy to meet you.

- Why?

- It's a yerbanian custom.

See?

It says, "in yerba when people greet each other,

"they will often sniff each other's hands

as a sign of friendship."

- Oh, that-- that's ok.

- Uh, so how you all like the hotel?

- Well, um..

- Uh...

- It's disgusting.

- She said what?

- Uh... this hotel--

it doesn't really look like the picture we saw online.

- Oh, the picture, yes.

There she is.

- So where's that hotel?

- I don't know. Maybe Cancun?

I will go get someone to help you with your bags.

- I don't like this place at all.

- Festus said this hotel was nice?

- Ok, this isn't my fault. - Yeah, it is.

- How was I supposed to know?

- Hey, buddies.

This is kerploch.

He will take your luggages.

- Hello.

We are so happy to be in your country.

- Please!

Someone help me.

No!

Help!

Let go, let go, let go!

Please!

Please...

- Is there another bellman that could help us?

- And here you go.

- Thanks.

Well, here are the keys to your rooms.

- Those are screwdrivers.

- I know.

He said to stick it in the keyhole and jiggle it.

- What'd he you say about the indoor swimming pool?

- Well, um, apparently... This country is sort of at war,

so the swimming pool here is currently

filled with ammunition.

- And where's the white sand beach?

- Yeah, where's the beach?

- It's been taken over by rebels.

- Ok, so before you booked our trip here,

you forgot to find out that this is the worst country on earth?

- Yeah.

- Jade, don't be such a crabby Cathy.

- I have every right to be a crabby Cathy.

That's ok. I get it. Custom.

- Uh, crabby Cathy's about to get a little bit crabbier.

Hey!

- Get your hands off my boyfriend's head.

- Ok, Robbie and I just looked at our rooms,

and there's no way I'm staying here.

- Me neither.

- What's so bad about your rooms?

- Well, we can start with the foreign man

I found in my closet.

- And there was a grenade in my toilet.

There's nicer hotels in northridge.

- Ah! Aah, agh!

- What's wrong? - Something bit my neck.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looked like a moth.

- Are you ok? - A moth?

- What happened?

- A moth bit our friend's neck.

- Was it about this big and black like the night?

- Yeah.

- Ah, that was a vampire moth.

- Well, is he gonna be ok?

- Of course.

Being bitten by a vampire moth is very good luck.

- Ohh. - Wait.

But it says here that a bite from a vampire moth

could kill you.

- Yes, but if you live, you are very lucky.

- How can she sleep in the middle of the war?

- I don't like this hotel.

- Oh, come on, guys.

It's just bombs.

You know, I-- I'm sure that the--

- Stop!

- Dude! Wha--

- Robbie!

- Hi.

- Get out of our room.

- No, I'm afraid to sleep alone.

- What about Andre and Beck?

- They made me sleep in the bathtub,

and... I saw a lizard in there.

- A lizard? - Oh, my god.

- You guys are such babies.

Just because this place isn't quite as cushy as America,

you make it seem like we're in the middle of--

- uhh!

- We are getting out of this country!

- Hey!

- Hello, buddies.

Who wants mushroom?

- No one!

- We are leaving this--

We are leaving this country!

- Right now.

- Oh, buddies.

- There they are.

- Ok, what's all the fizzy futz?

- We want to go ho-- oh, my god.

Look at Andre!

- What's on his neck?

- It's from his moth bite.

It won't stop growing.

- Oh, what's he saying?

- I think it was--

- Uh-huh. - Here.

It says, "a person who has been bitten by a vampire moth

"will often experience hallucinations

or bizarre speech patterns."

- Ok, I just woke up and found this sitting on my chest.

- Ew!

- A dead lizard?

- It's dead now.

Whoa, Andre! Who's your friend?

- Give us our plane tickets home right now!

- Why you want to leave yerba?

- Our friend is hallucinating!

- An escaped prisoner crashed through our window

and was dragged out by yerbanian soldiers!

- And our bed is lumpy.

- Ok, I'm very sorry about the troubles.

Here.

Everyone please enjoy a free can of yerbanian gravy.

- Yerbanian gravy?

- Made in prison?

- We don't want to eat your prison gravy.

- We are leaving country now!

- You kids promised to make singsong here for seven nights.

- Well, I'm afraid that's a promise

they're going to have to break.

- So... what song should we do tomorrow night?

- Hey, you know what?

Yerbanian gravy? Not so bad.

- ♪ Let's watch the sun come up ♪

- You're really gonna let your screech box of a sister

sing with us?

- The guys are gonna keep her mic turned off.

- Oh, that's swell news.

- I don't talk like that.

- Whatever.

- Hey! Hey, sikowitz.

- Hey, vega.

- How are we gonna do this performance if Andre's sick?

- Relax.

He's with the yerbanian doctor

right behind that... Stained sheet.

- Come, let's check on him.

- Hello.

- I don't like that.

Ok, where is the doctor?

- That's him.

There.

- What, the boy?

He's like 11.

- Almost 12.

- How is he, doc?

- Eh.

- That boy is not a doctor.

- No, but he is... The doctor's son.

- Well, where is the doctor?

- His boy is the best we could find.

- Is Andre going to be ok?

- Maybe. I gave him shot.

- Now I give him Lulu pop.

- Andre... you think you can perform tonight?

- Yeah, I think so.

- Tori! Tori! Tori... - Guess what!

- The chancellor of yerba is come to see us perform tonight.

- Good Gandhi!

- Who is the chancellor of yerba?

- Yes, who is that?

- Our chancellor-- he like your president.

- And look.

He only has one eye.

- What happened to his other eye?

- It stopped working

after he was bitten by vampire moth.

- What?!

- Nothing, buddy.

Forget about that.

Eat your Lulu pop.

- We'd like to welcome a most special guest,

the chancellor of this fine country.

And now we present trina vega.

- Andre Harris.

- Jade west.

- Cat Valentine.

- And Tori vega.

- Whoo!

- ♪ I feel delirious ♪

♪ come, let's get out of here ♪

♪ we're so anonymous, but ♪

♪ it's all coming clear ♪

♪ we're heading for the sky, and we'll get lost in it ♪

♪ cause all I want ♪

♪ all I want ♪

♪ all I want is everything ♪

♪ and I will pose if I wanna, and I will vogue like Madonna ♪

♪ I might not dance like mj, r.I.P. ♪

♪ But I will give the best of me ♪

♪ all I want is everything ♪

♪ yes, everything ♪

♪ too much is not enough ♪

♪ I'm sick of settling ♪

♪ for in between, and I'm not giving up ♪

♪ as long as it feels right ♪

♪ at least we'll know that we're alive ♪

♪ all I want is everything ♪

♪ yes, everything, yeah ♪

♪ oh whoa oh ♪

♪ we don't ever stop ♪

♪ let's watch the sun come up ♪

♪ we'll sleep when we're dead cause ♪

♪ halfway kind of sucks ♪

♪ we're heading for the sky ♪

♪ and we'll get lost in it cause all I want ♪

♪ all I want ♪

♪ all I want is everything ♪

♪ I will pose if I wanna ♪

♪ and I will vogue like Madonna ♪

♪ I might not dance like mj, r.I.P. ♪

♪ But I will give the best of me ♪

♪ all I want is everything ♪

- Aaaah!

- Stop the music!

- Your shoe hit the chancellor!

- In his last good eye!

- I'm so sorry.

My shoe just flew off, and I--

Stop it! What are you doing?

Get off of me!

- That is my sister!

- Wait! Where are they taking her?

- To the prison! - Ohh!

- Prison?

- I got away!

I got away! I got away!

- They got me again! They got me again!

They got me again.

Next on "victorious."

- Admit you did this to me on purpose!

- No, it was just a shoe malfunction.

- Guilty as charged!

- Four years in yerbanian prison.

- Now, wait a minute. - No, wait!

- It was just a shoe malfunction!

Will you guys just please get me out of here?

- We're trying.

- I'll be waiting in the duck truck behind there,

tomorrow night after dark.

- Hips. Hips.

Big arms...

- I think I know how we can break out of this place.

- ♪ Oh baby, I need one more chance, ha! ♪

♪ I tell you that I love you ♪

- ♪ now, baby ♪ - ♪ oh ♪

- ♪ baby ♪ - ♪ oh! ♪

- ♪ Hey baby ♪♪

♪ 'cause you know that if you live in your imagination ♪

♪ tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination ♪

♪ in my victory ♪

♪ just remember me ♪

♪ when I make it shine ♪♪

- Mmm!

There was a grenade in my toilet.