Original subtitles

- Do you? So, I? Oh, you go. - Sorry.

I didn't really have anything to say.

Hey, Michael. - Yep. I have something to say.

(BUZZ!) Send him through.

- I should? You should go in.

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

I just pull this book. (CLUNK! CREAK!)

- No way. Yeah.

- Wow. What are you gonna put in there?

I'm thinking a... chair.

- Oh yeah. A chair would be good. Yeah.

- Or maybe, like...

No, yeah, I reckon a chair.

Yeah.

Yeah, a chair.

Can we start the meeting?

Anderson is missing.

Anderson... is missing.

- Where is he? We don't know. He's missing. That's what missing is.

- Oh my gosh ? scary. It is scary.

Also, the documents we intercepted on the train... have vanished.

Why would Australia want a list of every farm in New Zealand?

We don't know. Michael,

I'm sending you to the Abel Tasman National Park. - You think Anderson's there?

I don't know, but someone is shipping a heck of a lot of herbicide there,

and I wanna know why. I'm in.

Good stuff. You leave in two hours.

Go and see Pellet.

- Now? Yes, now!

(DOOR OPENS) What am I doing? (DOOR SHUTS)

Your mission, is... equally as important.

I need you to go to Wellington

and apologise to Jim Marshall for tranquillising him.

Are you joking? I'm not joking. I tranquillised him.

I made himtranquil. He's a member of Parliament,

and, technically, he hadn't committed treason yet,

and he's demanding an in-person apology. (CLANK!)

- I quit. Whoa, whoa, whoa. - I'm handing in my gun.

And I'm handing in my badge. I quit.

We don't even issue badges. - I made my own, boss.

I made my own.

(DOOR CLICKS, SLAMS)

I think badges are more of a police thing.

Wristwatches are one thing, but this

is a whole different kettle of fish.

- I already have two wristwatches. Trust me.

It's completely water resistant. Up to 50m. - Whoa.

And totally smash proof.

(GLASS SHATTERS)

(METALLIC RINGING)

I've been scammed.

- Where did you get it? Caleb.

- What? He's my sister's boyfriend, Caleb.

What about these?

- You gave me jeans last time. - Jeans are good. - I agree, jeans are good,

but do you do anything that's not jeans or wristwatches?

Oh! I can give you this.

So, if used properly, it will allow you to breathe underwater.

- I know. I've snorkelled. - Caleb hasn't gone anywhere near this.

Let's just test. Can you just let me know if you feel this?

(AIR WHOOSHES) - Yeah, I felt it. And put your mouth to her.

(AIR WHOOSHES) SPLUTTERS: Oh f?

Sorry. I don't know why we would do that.

- Thank you. Yeah.

(MAJESTIC MUSIC)

- (PANTS)

Stop, Michael. Come here, or they'll shoot you.

- (PANTS)

Kneel.

- (MUMBLES)

Take out your mouthpiece. - You've been a bad guy this whole time?

I'm Australian.

If that's what you consider a bad guy, then yes.

- You're Australian? Yeah. I have a thick Australian accent.

- Well, what about me? What do you mean?

- Well, did you actually even like me? cyan>- No. You're annoying.

- You don't mean that. ? I do.

I would never have a crush on someone like you.

- But we kissed on the lips. Yeah, and I hated it. You're awkward as hell.

- Well,... you're weird.

She's not. - You don't know her! Yeah, I do.

- Shut up. Why don'tyou yellow>shut up? - BOTH: You shut up.

(THWACK!) - Oh!

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(KEYPAD BEEPS, CLUNK!)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(KEYS JINGLE)

(DOOR SLAMS)

Enjoy your stay (!)

Welcome to Paradise.

- Anderson?

(INHALES DEEPLY)

Ta-da. - Wait ? is it actually Paradise here?

No. - Oh man.

Are you crying?

Why are you crying? Because we're in this prison?

Why are you crying, then?

- Misty. Yeah. (SIGHS) She's bad.

- (SOBS)

(GASPS) Oh.

You were romantically involved.

Do you love her?

Then why are you crying, then?

- Because I'm a bad spy.

I wish I could say that's not true.

But it is true.

You're a really bad spy. - (SNIFFLES)

You're terrible in tight situations, you have a shocking memory.

You get hospitalised every other day, and you got completely duped by Misty.

- Yeah. But.

But, Michael. But, uh...

- (EXHALES SHAKILY) But, but...

But...

But.

Oh, uh...

But, uh... You... I...

But...

Uh... mm...

Oh! Didn't? You were the one? No? Oh, you weren't there then.

But. But. But. But.

But!

Come on!

- It's OK. I feel better now.

Oh. Perfect.

You're welcome. It's just what I do.

- Goodbye. Shorter.

- B? Uh, bye.

Second syllable.

(WHICKERS) - Bull. Bull.

Combine.

Goodbye, bull. Good bull.

Sorry ? I've not read many books. The Bible.

How long have you been standing there? Five seconds.

You're not welcome here. You're not in any position to tell me where I'm welcome.

Michael, Mr Green has requested your company at dinner tonight.

He's not talking to you. That's fine. He doesn't need to say anything ?

he just needs to be ready at seven.

He'll see how he's feeling. It's compulsory. Well,

he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do. If he refuses, we'll kill him.

He'll be there. He's looking forward to it.

Yeah. You're gonna have to go. Sorry, I...

I didn't expect her to say, 'kill him.'

- How long you been a vegetarian?

Are you mad about Misty?

You thought she liked you. (CHUCKLES) That's sweet.

- Why is this table so long?

- That's what you wanna know? You don't want to know my evil plan?

- What's your evil plan? - Now, that's a good question.

Do you know who New Zealand and Australia's biggest export partner is?

- Yep. - Who is it?

- I'm not saying. - OK. Well, I don't think you know. - I do.

- It's England. - I know. - Hmm. Well, I don't think you did.

But in one month, England are joining the EEC ?

the European Economic Community. - Community. - This is bad news for us.

We're both scrambling to try and find new trade partners.

New Zealand was very close to striking a deal with India.

That is, until you, uh, killed their Foreign Minister.

- Swaran! (BEEP!)

(BOOM!) - That wasn't us.

- I know. - It was us.

But India think it was you. They backed out of the deal.

You're now in talks with Japan and America.

Beef, wine,

wool. - And how is Australia getting on? - We can't get a look in.

So we're doing something about it. At 1600 hours tomorrow?

- What's that in normal time? - You don't know 24-hour time?

- I just like normal time.

- It's easy. You just go up to 12 and keep going. So, for instance, 1600 hours?

- I'm not interested in knowing. I likenormaltime.

It's good. - OK. Well,

tomorrow at 1600 hours...

Exodus. - You're leaving? - No.

We're not leaving ? it's the code name of the operation.

It's a reference to The Ten Plagues of Egypt. - That sounds scary.

- Yeah. But, instead of 10 plagues, we'll only need two. - Please don't say river of blood.

- We're gonna kill your crops, and we're gonna kill your livestock.

And in doing so, we're gonna kill your piece-of-shit country.

- That is not a nice way to talk about my country.

- Tomorrow, at 1600 hours,

we're shipping out 300 tons of herbicide

and poisoned livestock food.

It'll then be trucked to our airstrip, where it'll be loaded on one hundred planes.

On my signal,

they'll go and drop it on every farm and vineyard in this?

- Do not say it again. ...piece-of-shit country. - You are gonna regret saying that.

- Oh. Really (?) - And you're gonna regret telling me that whole evil plan.

- Why? What are you gonna do?

- I guess... escape and go and tell my boss.

Mr Green. Sorry to interrupt,

but we found this man kayaking on the south of the island.

- Is he one of yours? - No.

- So you wouldn't care if I took his life right now?

- No, I definitely wouldn't want you to do that. - But you said you don't know him.

- Yeah, I don't know him, but that doesn't mean I'd be fine with you killing him.

- He might be a bad person. - But chances are he's not.

- I reckon chances are he is. I'm not.

(THUMP!) - Don't talk to me.

Don't youevertalk to me.

- Don't do this. I'm telling you, please don't do this. - But he doesn't work with you.

- I have never seen this man before in my life.

- Does anyone know you here? (GASPS)

You can answer me. No one knows I'm here. I swear.

(GUNSHOT)

- (SCOFFS) Insane answer.

Oh. You didn't like that?

Do you want some tiramisu? - That doesn't really feel appropriate.

- Cos I killed that guy? - Yeah, I reckon...

we should wait a little bit before we crack into some tiramisu.

- (SIGHS) How long? - An hour. At least an hour.

- An hour.

- Handmade? - Handmade.

- Maybe half an hour.

Violin.

Guitar.

The Sound of Music.

- Sue! HUSKILY: Sue. Fellas.

- How could you see my act out? I didn't, but I just heard

'The Sound of...' What else could it have been? The sound of guitar?

Yeah, but, like, that's not a movie. Might be.

- Misty's bad. That makes sense. She was weird.

- Thank you. The guard tried telling me she wasn't weird.

WHISPERS: I've gone rogue. What?

I quit the agency, and I went rogue.

BOTH: Cool. We have to move fast.

This is thermite. It burns through iron.

Just don't let it drip on you. (GRUNTS)

- BOTH: Whoa.

Wait. I have just realised something. That the gap is tiny.

The gap is quite tiny. - Do you have any more thermite?

Pellet just gave me this little fricking thing.

- Yeah, I'm not gonna fit through that tiny hole. This is a problem.

- Wait. I have an idea.

But you guys aren't gonna like it.

(METAL CLANKS)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(LOCK RATTLES)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

- I'm glad we went with Sue's idea. Mine was bad.

I don't know where we would have got dresses from, let alone cinema-grade wigs.

(MUSIC FADES)

- WHISPERS: Here.

(TOILET FLUSHES)

Who are you guys?

- Us? Yeah.

- My name is Simon Somerset.

I'm Michael Anderson. - That's your? What?

- OK. You guys new?

BOTH: Yeah. - Brand new.

Why are you wearing a wetsuit? - Huh?

Why are you wearing awetsuit?

You can... tell him... the reason.

- Well, if you wanna know,

basically, I have a condition with my sweat glands,

where I sweat profusely for 24 hours

every single day.

But the good news is that it is only

my torso and my arms,

but not my head or my hands that are affected by it.

So the wetsuit absorbs the sweat. - The wetsuit absorbs the sweat.

Before the wet suit... It?

- ...my clothes were getting drenched. Mm, mm. It must? I mean,

that must have been incredibly tough. - That was very tough.

The kids at school, they used to go, 'Oh, he's peed his pants.'

Oh, he's peed his shirt. He's peed his shirt? - Yeah,

like I'd peed up into my shirt. Right, but how could they have thought you'd peed

upthebackof your shirt? - That's exactly what I tried telling them, but?

Doesn't even make sense, but... - I know. ...yet, the bullying continued.

- The bullying continued. (CLEARS THROAT) yellow>- Cos children...

How much do you get paid?

35c an hour.

35c. That's less than minimum wage. What's your point?

My point is you are doing way too good of a job,

my friend.

You don't wanna shoot us ? not for 35c an hour.

For 35c an hour, you should be phoning this in.

And I don't mean phoning your superiors to tell them that we're here.

I mean the opposite. You should be asleep.

Or smoking a cigarette.

Not here ? doing an adept, and, may I say,

capable job.

It's not a bad point. BOTH: It's a good point.

Got any cigarettes?

- This guy does.

Gentlemen. You have a good one.

- Bye.

Can't believe that worked. (LAUGHS)

(CLOCK TICKS)

- Bugger. What? - The herbicide is gone.

Where's it gone? - OK. Dennis told me the whole evil plan ? what did he say?

Wait a minute. He told you the whole evil plan? - Yeah.

When were you gonna tell me? - We were busy. We were busy playing charades.

We played charades all night long! What did he say?

- OK. Think, Michael ? think.

- We're shipping out 300 tons of herbicide and poisoned livestock food.

- They're gonna ship 300 tons of herbicide and poisoned livestock feed.

Where are they shipping it? - They're shipping it to...

- To our airstrip, where it will be loaded on 100 planes.

- ...an airstrip on the mainland, where they're putting it on 100 planes.

Why? - Because...

- On my signal, they'll go and drop it

on every farm and vineyard in this piece-of-shit country.

That's why they wanted a list of every farm in New Zealand. They're going after our cows an

- Exactly. Those animals are the yellow>backbone of this country.

- Yeah. And that's a crucial bone.

- The plan is called Exodus, which I thought was a pretty scary name.

It's a really scary name. When is this plan happening?

- He said it's happening at? - 1600 hours.

- 1600 hours. Oh, f? Not this shit again.

- Yeah. Have you got a watch? - I've got a couple.

(SIGHS) So that's? - I dunno. 16 minus 12.

- It's happening in...

It's happening in... It's... six.

What's 2? - 20 minutes. 20.

20 minutes. - Yeah. 20 minutes maybe. I don't?

I just... I mean, I genuinely don't know.

- Oh! That's maybe whatthat'sfor.

Ooh. Yeah. Yeah, no, I would say definitely.

So I guess we gotta stop the boat with the poison from leaving the

island and reaching the plains, because otherwise they'll poison all our animals and crops.

- It's pretty confusing, but yeah. I have a dynamite idea.

- What is it? There's some? yellow>some dynamite over there.

- Oh, I see. I thought you were saying, like, you had a really good idea.

Yeah, no, it could be a terrible idea.

You go and find Dennis.

I'll run all the way to the boat and blow it up, before it leaves at 1600 hours.

- That's a good idea. It's adynamiteidea.

- Run fast.

I always do.

- OK. What doIdo?

- On my signal, they'll go and drop it

on every farm and vineyard in this piece-of-shit country.

- The signal ? I gotta stop the signal.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

- Freeze.

-Youfreeze. - Bugger.

- If you move, I'll kill you.

- Well, if you move, I'll kill this guy.

- That's the guy I killed at dinner last night.

- The kayaker? - Yeah.

- You undressed him and put him in a suit? - Yes.

- And you posed him here at the table? - Yep.

- And how long were you hiding over there in the shadows?

- Oh, 20 minutes.

- Oh, that's not too bad. - It was fun.

- And do you have a real gun, or are you making one with your fingers?

(GUN SAFETY CLICKS)

- It's real. - Bugger.

(CLOCK TICKS)

(EERIE 'GOD DEFEND NEW ZEALAND')

(PROPELLERS WHIRR)

(MILITARY MARCH MUSIC)

(MUSIC SOARS)

(DRUMS SPEED UP)

(CLOCK TICKS)

Captions by Laura Young. Edited by Faith Hamblyn.

Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.

www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2026.

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