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Action.
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Welcome to Smiling Spring Care Home.
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We may not look like
spring chickens,
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but this place is all go-go-go.
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This programme contains
strong language and adult humour
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Hello.
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ALARM
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And what really makes it special?
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The people.
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We've been meeting on Tuesdays. We
organise a selection of fun snacks
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00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:37,839
and we've been whipping up
our very own movie idea.
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00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:42,079
Just imagine the look
on my family's faces
13
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:46,360
when they sit down to watch
a movie that Gran came up with.
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How about a movie about a group
of retirees who are sick
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{\an8}of all these awful online scammers?
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{\an8}So they go inside the computer
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{\an8}and defeat them once and for all.
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This video was filmed on the iPad.
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ALL: We want you to help us.
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00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,719
Wow. They are so much fun.
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I just want to squeeze them.
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You know, I actually get along
better with old people.
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We just have this connection.
They love me.
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Ooh, that'll come in handy.
They don't seem very tech savvy.
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00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,799
I'll have to introduce them
to Superbreast.
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What? My interactive OS.
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Hello, Sebastian.
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Are you feeling better?
Is that your girlfriend?
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No, we're just mates.
Completely platonic relationship.
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I think we might keep
Superbreast on the down low,
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if that's all right.
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Enjoy the rest of your birthday,
Sebastian.
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Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
Shut up. Shut up.
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VOICEOVER: We arrived at
Smiling Spring,
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eager to aid the plight
of these overlooked senior citizens.
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First we met with the
home's director, Mrs Livingstone.
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So this isn't a documentary about
what we're feeding them, is it?
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00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,959
No. It's more of a dystopian
sci-fi satire.
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Great.
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It must disgust you the way
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00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:57,879
our society has turned its back
on our ancestors.
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They're still so vital.
They deserve respect.
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00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,039
Right. Can I just warn you?
They do tend to take the piss.
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So I recommend using a firm hand.
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00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:08,199
I'm not sure that'll be necessary.
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00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,759
The last thing we want to do
is disturb their delicate ecosystem.
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Well, I'd be careful.
I'll be ducking in and out trying
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00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,119
to get the money back
from this Swiss company.
49
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:21,239
Can you believe they sent us
the CRX 0054?
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00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,919
What's that?
Tanning bed.
51
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:26,839
I ordered the CRX 0056.
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Euthanasia pod.
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00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,999
Oh. I'm going to be the combat
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00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:36,039
specialist choreographing most
of the battle scenes, so, yeah.
55
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:39,279
OK, that sounds fun. Yeah, well,
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00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:42,319
considering some of the futuristic
weapons I've been devising...
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00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,839
I have to take a nap.
58
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:45,959
Again?
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00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,879
I've never really thought
about getting old.
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00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:55,039
I suppose I'll learn about wine
and coins and shit like that.
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00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,480
Winnie, you're already old.
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00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,519
Older. Old-er.
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00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,799
I overheard Sam say
that when we finish here,
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00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,759
we'll probably leave you
to live forever.
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Horseshit.
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00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,320
It's an above-ground cemetery.
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00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:20,039
VOICEOVER: The residents were taking
their weekly aqua aerobics class.
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00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:23,440
Little did they know,
their lives were about to change.
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00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:29,119
They didn't have a clue
that I was lurking beneath them,
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swimming betwixt their legs.
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Believe me, I didn't touch her!
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00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:48,039
You know, when I go to see a film,
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00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:51,559
I often close my eyes
for the entire duration.
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00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:52,599
Huh?
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00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,040
The sound is everything.
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00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,839
You've got a different
towel than everyone else.
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I enjoy the finer things.
I had it monogrammed.
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00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,880
Y...Z.
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Powerful initials.
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00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,359
Right up the back of the alphabet.
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00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,080
Right up the back.
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Yardley.
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Pat.
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00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,039
What does the Z stand for?
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00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,719
Zelensky. No relation.
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00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:27,839
SAM: Trust Pat to get involved
with the home's wealthy Casanova
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00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:31,079
on day one.
I was busy getting to know Sybil.
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What a woman.
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00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:35,839
You know the idea was inspired
by true events?
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00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:37,439
You're joking.
91
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:41,399
No! I actually was the victim
of a computer scam.
92
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,239
My family thought I was losing it
93
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,559
and said I'd better come
and live here.
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I had no clue.
Thank you for sharing that.
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00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:49,440
Oh.
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00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,959
Oh, you poor thing.
97
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,039
Oh, Nana Banana,
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please don't ever fall over
onto some tiles.
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00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,679
Do you want something warm?
Maybe you want a brooch.
100
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:01,919
I can get you that.
101
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:04,440
No, no, you're hurting me. OK.
Jess!
102
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,439
Maybe do a lap, yeah?
103
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,440
Cool off. Yeah.
104
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:21,799
So all of our families are coming
to watch the movie. Uh-huh.
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00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,359
That's right, isn't it? Yeah.
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SHE CHUCKLES
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What battle experience do you have?
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00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,319
I boxed at Repton Hall.
109
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,119
I fought Honey Jeff Timmerman.
110
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,039
I'll be teaching a much more
exciting style than that.
111
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,999
We'll get you up on your feet
in a second.
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You'll be wielding plasma daggers, naturally.
113
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Are you new?
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What room are you in?
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I don't go here.
I'm with the film crew.
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00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:54,679
That's Bud. He's been here
the longest out of anyone.
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He looks majorly angry.
118
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We shut down his book club
to focus on the movie idea.
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00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,839
He didn't take it so well.
120
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,720
You must be the big shot director.
121
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,600
No, no, no, I'm...
You think you're better than us?
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Watch yourself.
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I'll send you into orbit.
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HE SPITS
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00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,479
Note to self - that was awkward.
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00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,720
Oh, Sam, you are a gas.
127
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,519
The storm was raging.
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00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:44,080
Waves the size
of skyscrapers crashing down.
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We nearly died.
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KNOCK AT DOOR
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Sorry - roommate.
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I'm decent.
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You all right, Bud?
134
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,079
I'd love to see your boat sometime.
135
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,560
I'll bet you would.
136
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,559
What was that?
137
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,439
She's got dollar signs
in her eyes, mate.
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00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:18,599
SAM: This bud fellow was turning out
to be a real headache.
139
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:21,839
Thankfully, the other residents
were fully on board
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00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,199
and ready to turn over.
141
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,479
? Empty playgrounds
142
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,279
? Churches closing down
143
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:32,239
? What's happened to our children?
144
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,639
? What's happened to our town?
145
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:42,599
? How could this little grey box
cause so much misery?
146
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:46,159
? You're forgetting,
little grey box
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? I still have fight in me... ?
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And me too.
149
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We're coming with you.
150
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:54,959
Me also.
151
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,279
ALL: # We're going inside
the computer
152
00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:04,680
? We're going inside the computer. ?
153
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,519
I'm the Digital Bastard.
154
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,280
Welcome to my online wasteland.
155
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,279
? Crash the market
Too much news
156
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,959
? Graphic content that isn't true
157
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,759
? One wrong click
Scotland Yard
158
00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:35,319
? Hurts to type
Credit card
159
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:38,159
? Take your money
Steal your house
160
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,159
? Turn your grandson upside down. ?
161
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:44,959
He doesn't look like that.
And we won't stop until
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00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,639
we have corrupted every first-born
in England. Ha-ha-ha!
163
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:49,920
Ha-ha-ha...
164
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Cut! OK,
that was kind of incredible.
165
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,359
I felt an actual shiver go down
my spine. I'm not joking.
166
00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,039
Have all the invites gone out
for the big premiere
167
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:01,519
to all our families?
168
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,999
Families, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We can sort it out.
169
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,519
Jess. Oh, that was so good.
170
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:10,319
The scammers looked so frightening.
I made you some brownies.
171
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,879
Do you want one?
Perhaps later. Have one now.
172
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,119
Early bird gets the worm.
173
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,400
I'm just going to borrow
her for a second.
174
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,880
WHISPERS THROUGH MIC: Ooh, baby.
175
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,559
You're looking sexy.
176
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:28,319
Ooh, I want you.
177
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:31,440
Ooh, cappuccino.
178
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:36,320
I'm just going to jump into my
thermals. It's too cold in here.
179
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,319
You dirty little monkey.
180
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:43,880
You're playing him, aren't you?
181
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:48,039
Oi. Get off! You ticked off Bud.
182
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,080
He's looking to set
a fight with you.
183
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,199
Now, this is serious.
184
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,679
Tell him it's on.
185
00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:57,879
Hang on a second.
186
00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:59,199
He'll fight.
187
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,519
Good on you, Pat.
188
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,359
What have you done that for?
189
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:06,879
Well, it'll be good to get Bud
out of the picture... for everyone.
190
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,039
I'm not a fighter.
Well...
191
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:12,120
Yo, yo, yo.
I may be of some assistance.
192
00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:17,200
I'm going to turn you
into a killing machine.
193
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,320
Business card.
194
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,199
You are bombing!
195
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,719
I've received a slew of complaints.
196
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:30,279
What? Have you been doing
makeovers?
197
00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:33,719
Humphrey told me you pierced his
navel when he was sleeping.
198
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,479
I don't think so.
199
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:38,679
Jess, am I going to have to
let you go?
200
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:41,359
What? Get it together.
201
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,400
Yeah.
202
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,599
VOICEOVER: The next morning we
regrouped for a warmish breakfast.
203
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,560
An army marches on its stomach.
204
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,959
Oh, by the way,
your son RSVP'd last night.
205
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,119
He and Denise are
coming to the screening.
206
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,440
Oh, that's wonderful news.
207
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,279
Don't smooch the messenger.
208
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:04,919
We got a lot to squeeze in today.
209
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:07,679
You triple morph the
Scamquidos to Catholicism.
210
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,880
We may be able to do
a bit of that, sure.
211
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,120
I was hoping we could do
a lot of that.
212
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,479
Well, there may be a schedule clash,
Sammy.
213
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:20,159
We've got gardening today
and then backgammon at noon.
214
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,119
And then we do Zumba.
215
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,879
And then we sit down and listen
to our radio programmes.
216
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,639
Oh, I'm afraid that
will all have to be postponed.
217
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:29,960
Absolutely not.
218
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:34,519
I couldn't learn my
lines last night.
219
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,840
I couldn't focus.
220
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,840
I was yearning for you.
221
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,039
When did you last update your will?
222
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:47,520
I'm always making
pertinent adjustments.
223
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,000
We must be alone together.
224
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:57,360
If only I didn't have
bitter old Bud as a roommate.
225
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,999
I'm working on it.
226
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,880
Are you sure I'm only
allowed to eat hash browns?
227
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,399
The outcome
of this fight depends on it.
228
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,840
This shape is important.
229
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,519
PHONE RINGS
230
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,840
IN SPANISH:
231
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:48,320
LINE DISCONNECTS
232
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,959
? I see the light
233
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,319
? I filled my cup
234
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,279
? My ship has sailed
235
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,160
? My time is up
236
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,040
? Farewell and goodbye. ?
237
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:14,000
Now go quickly before the grooming
gang recharge their quantum blaster.
238
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,440
Oh.
239
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,719
We'll miss you, Sybil.
240
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,359
And cut.
241
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,079
It's not too bad.
242
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,319
I feel like we're losing
some of that energy.
243
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:27,879
It was fine.
244
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,639
Let's go from the top.
Let's move on.
245
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,519
Look, just give us a bit
of a breather, if you don't mind.
246
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:35,119
I'm tired.
247
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:38,839
When the phone's on 2%,
you can still use all the apps.
248
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:42,519
My apps went all big on me.
Let's take five.
249
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,560
I'm worried their
commitment is waning.
250
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:49,679
That euthanasia part sounds
pretty good to me right now.
251
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:50,759
Jess.
252
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,600
I want to die.
No!
253
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,159
Oh, I need you to win this fight.
I've got a lot riding on it.
254
00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:02,439
I need to focus on Sebastian's
fatal finishing move.
255
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:03,800
Remind me what that is again.
256
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,439
Where you jump in the air
and punch them with both fists
257
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,280
and kick them with both feet
all at the same time.
258
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:13,960
Pioneered by the Aztecs.
259
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,680
Sebastian, get over here.
260
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,079
What up?
261
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,279
Have you ever been in a fight?
262
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:24,919
Define for me what you mean.
263
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:28,559
Have you ever been
in a physical fight?
264
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:31,479
Depends on the parameters...
Have you?
265
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,919
Not technically. Winnie,
I'll be taking over your training.
266
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,359
He's my protege.
You're sacked.
267
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:39,759
You're going to need a change.
268
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,039
Sybil, I think you're right.
269
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,159
Let's move on to the
battle of Cyberloo.
270
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,199
I think we're done here for the
day, Sammy, we've got a lot on.
271
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,359
Yeah, about that...
272
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,719
Surely you've got enough
footage from yesterday.
273
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,279
Besides, when all
the relatives arrive,
274
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,399
they'll probably only want
to watch a little snippet,
275
00:15:56,400 --> 00:16:00,159
and then we can all
catch up properly.
276
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,799
You don't care, do you?
277
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,759
You don't care about
this movie at all.
278
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,239
You just want to see your family.
279
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,159
This whole time you lied to me.
280
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,399
Did you even get scammed?
Of course!
281
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,759
If that Jeremy Corbyn can't handle
a couple of death threats,
282
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:19,039
what's he doing putting his
email address on his website?
283
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,559
That's what you think
getting scammed is?
284
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:25,879
Try not to scrunch up
your nose, darling.
285
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:27,800
It makes you look like a rat.
286
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,439
VOICEOVER: Honestly, I felt
like I'd been scammed.
287
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,160
Sybil's confession took
a real toll on the team.
288
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,119
We have to get as far away
from these people as we can.
289
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:41,999
There's a darkness there.
290
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,759
Yeah, let's head off.
291
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,679
Yeah, we'll give it a try.
292
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:48,399
Old people have no
honour whatsoever.
293
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,719
Steady on. I vote that we stay.
294
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,799
We've still got a lot
we could learn from them.
295
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,799
Please. We all know
what you're after.
296
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,960
SUPERBREAST: I have to agree
with Pat here.
297
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:01,759
Superbreast, you don't get it.
298
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,719
Sorry, but I did
a little bit of research.
299
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,959
All of the dominant
civilisations throughout history
300
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,359
have a deep reverence
for their elders.
301
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:13,959
Sam, I know you feel hurt,
302
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:18,479
but you can't expect everyone here
to have the same passion
303
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,759
and understanding
of the film-making process as you.
304
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:26,359
When they see the movie, it will
all become clear to them.
305
00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:29,039
Don't give up. Let them see it.
306
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,519
Make them see it.
307
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,879
Superbreast, I needed that.
308
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,919
Sam, you must hear this a lot,
but I'm a big fan.
309
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:39,639
Oh, yeah? I'd love to
pick your brain...
310
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,359
Let's get to work, I reckon.
311
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,599
I've seen the Sainsbury's Trilogy
six times.
312
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,199
I think she's got a virus.
Stop hogging it.
313
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,159
ALL: # It was a very old bridge
A very old bridge
314
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,359
? A very old bridge indeed
315
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:54,679
? A very big oval
Very big oval, very big oval seed
316
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:57,639
? It was a very long walk
A very long walk... ?
317
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,639
Turn off that crap!
318
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,839
Everyone against the wall!
You heard me.
319
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:06,599
Everyone stand against
the fucking wall now!
320
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,959
A few of you seem to have forgotten
who calls the shots around here.
321
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,759
Now, your precious families
will be here tomorrow,
322
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,279
and I want to make them proud.
323
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,799
I know you have a blockbuster
inside of you.
324
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:21,839
I'm going to rip it out.
Is that understood?
325
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,039
Is that understood?
326
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,159
No more breaks, no more Zumba!
327
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:27,839
Can I just ask a quick question?
328
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:31,639
No, you may noooooooot!
329
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:35,360
THEY SHOUT MOCK MILITARY ORDERS
330
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:41,159
They just needed a bit
of encouragement, really.
331
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:45,799
Someone to believe in them.
Besides, the megabyte tarantuloid
332
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:49,599
and her digi-eggs weren't exactly
going to vanquish themselves.
333
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,799
Oh, I don't think we've ever
had this many visitors.
334
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:56,919
What a treat. So how about a huge
round of applause
335
00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:03,399
for our fantastic residents
for doing this movie project?
336
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,200
SCATTERED APPLAUSE
337
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,719
Enough.
338
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:15,439
No talking, no coughing,
no diabetes, no fidgeting.
339
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,320
I'm looking at you, Smalley.
340
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,039
Mate.
341
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,879
Thank you. Roll the tape.
342
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,199
? Empty playgrounds
343
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,719
? Churches closing down... ?
344
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:31,519
We can leave as soon as this
shit is over. 100%.
345
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,079
? What happened to our... ?
346
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,000
LASER BLASTS
347
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,119
? I filled my cup
348
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:58,039
? My ship has sailed
349
00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,800
? My time is up
350
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,680
? Farewell and goodbye. ?
351
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:11,119
I'll miss you, Sybil.
She was who she was
352
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:12,920
and you knew
where you were with her.
353
00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:17,399
OK, so that's the interval now.
354
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:22,319
Don't forget to go to the
toilet and we'll see you in 15...
355
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,239
Oh, hold on. Change of plans.
356
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:27,239
We have organised
half-time entertainment.
357
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,519
Some of the guys are
going to have a fight.
358
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,440
CLAMOUR
359
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:36,719
There you have it.
360
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,359
My last will and testament.
361
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:41,959
Managed to squeeze you in.
362
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:45,239
Yardley, it's a very long list
of beneficiaries.
363
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,759
I have a weakness
for powerful women.
364
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,680
What is it, every woman
you've ever met?
365
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,520
Oh, so I only get 40 quid.
366
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,679
Why is Superbreast on here?
367
00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:00,960
I swear on my life,
we're only friends.
368
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,439
THEY LAUGH
369
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,400
INCREASED LAUGHTER
370
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,600
JOINS IN LAUGHTER
371
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,880
Yeah, we did it. They're all dead.
372
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:36,440
It really makes you think
about what's important.
373
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:44,280
This film is dedicated to anyone
who's had a bad experience online.
374
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:51,559
ALL: # Spend some time
considering what we've done
375
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:56,439
? We breached the online citadel
And took out the evil scum
376
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,400
? Spend some time. ?
377
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:04,159
The film was a beautiful triumph,
but the residents of Smiling Spring
378
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:08,599
had failed to instil their offspring
with suitable attention spans.
379
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,119
Glued to the wrong kind of screen.
380
00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:13,319
We need to make
conscription mandatory.
381
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,119
Hey, pay attention.
382
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:16,880
Even Jess seemed distracted.
383
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,319
I should probably
give her more credit.
384
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,159
Ultimately, she was the only one
who truly understood
385
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,480
the secret message at
the heart of our movie.
386
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,799
? Spend some time. ?
387
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:38,400
It's not easy, it's not convenient,
but it's worthwhile.
388
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,519
If you are related to someone,
389
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,679
you need to make the effort
to speak to them
390
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,160
before they go up to heaven.
391
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,360
? Spend some time
392
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,119
? Spend some time. ?
393
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:57,039
I've never had a raisin
just by itself.
394
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,919
Just always part of a cake.
395
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:03,839
Even though they hated your guts,
you still helped them.
396
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,639
Nobody wants to feel unloved.
397
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,079
You see the best in people.
It's a very commendable trait.
398
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,320
Yeah, it is. That's right.
You have a kind heart.
399
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:19,359
Guys, let's make a pact.
We never work with old people again.
400
00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:21,119
Amen.
401
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:24,199
Thanks for watching.
Have a great weekend.
402
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,039
? It was a very old bridge
A very old bridge
403
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,239
? A very old bridge indeed
404
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,839
? A very big oval, very big oval
405
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,759
{\an8}? Very big oval seed
406
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,439
{\an8}? It was a very old bridge
A very old bridge
407
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,879
{\an8}? A very old bridge indeed
408
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:43,599
{\an8}? A very big oval, very big oval
Very big oval seed
409
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,279
{\an8}? It was a very long walk
A very long walk... ?
410
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,279
SAM: Turn off that crap!
411
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,280
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
412
00:23:51,330 --> 00:23:55,880
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