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1
00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:03,279
My name is Mick,
2
00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:04,639
Mick Hall,
3
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:07,000
and I live here in Sherborne Dale.
4
00:00:07,001 --> 00:00:10,439
This programme contains strong
language and adult humour
5
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:13,640
I've been working at the print shop
for a long time now.
6
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,919
My dad ran it before.
7
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,279
Now Gordon and Amy are in charge.
8
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:22,360
OK. Well, just pop in at 11.
9
00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:25,360
We get along great.
10
00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,319
This is my bestie Isaac.
11
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,119
He's a bit of a lad.
12
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,160
We dream of co-owning a car.
13
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,040
Still living with Mum
at the moment...
14
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,200
...but, you know, I try to keep busy.
15
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:44,600
Love my drinks.
16
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,639
And, yeah,
I've never told anyone this,
17
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,599
but I have an idea for a movie.
VOICE ECHOES
18
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:56,239
What if there was a movie about
19
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,119
a man and a woman
who could turn into snakes,
20
00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:01,999
but only one of them is a snake
at a time.
21
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:05,719
They're never together as two humans
or as two snakes.
22
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:09,240
One of them is always a snake
and they just swap around.
23
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,800
What do you reckon?
Let's make that movie.
24
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,199
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
25
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,439
Shut up! Shut up!
26
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,440
INDISTINCT YELLING
27
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:52,239
Junior ink-jet technician Mick Hall
is just an ordinary bloke,
28
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:55,520
but he's about to receive
an extraordinary surprise.
29
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:57,930
Look at this.
30
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:05,399
Hi, Mick. My name's... Sam Campbell.
31
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,239
I know exactly who you are.
32
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,239
You're, like, my favourite director.
33
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,600
I must have seen
The Funny Wedding 100 times.
34
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,199
The Funny Wedding.
35
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,439
? Got me saying ay-o, ay-o
36
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,800
? I'm finally alive, say... ?
37
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:21,360
That was a long time ago.
38
00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,920
Besides, I'm more interested
in YOUR movie.
39
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:27,880
What are you doing? Don't do that.
40
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,919
He's on the ground, so...
41
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:38,039
I dragged Mick back to the
Make That Movie headquarters.
42
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,880
My team were eager
to hear his bulletproof idea.
43
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,400
Uh...
44
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,680
So there's a man and a woman...
45
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:50,330
Yes?
46
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,199
Sorry, I've never had this many
people look at me at the same time.
47
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:57,439
You're doing great.
48
00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:58,839
QUIETLY: They transf...
49
00:02:58,840 --> 00:02:59,890
They transform.
50
00:02:59,891 --> 00:03:03,039
When one of them's a human,
the other one's a snake
51
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,679
and vice versa.
52
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,320
What is their relationship?
53
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,320
Was it inspired by you and your mum?
54
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,319
No way, man!
55
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,039
I was sort of hoping
56
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,719
that the woman
could be really very sexy.
57
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,399
So they are, in fact, lovers?
58
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,640
Yes, please.
59
00:03:21,721 --> 00:03:24,399
How raunchy do you want to go?
60
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,450
I'd just like to introduce...
SAM GRUMBLES
61
00:03:26,451 --> 00:03:29,159
Don't worry, we'll whip up as many
62
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:32,919
X-rated sexual penetration
fuck moments as we can.
63
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,479
Real snakes as well, yeah?
64
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:35,719
What?
65
00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:38,679
Mick, we have to steer clear of CGI.
66
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,439
It takes you out of the story.
67
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,039
We'll be using real snakes.
68
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,559
Sorry, how many snakes
are there going to be on set?
69
00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:45,959
We'll need a lot of options.
70
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,639
Plus, we'll need backup snakes.
71
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,119
Potentially, we get one
really long one,
72
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:53,439
and then we can just cut off
however many we need. Yeah.
73
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:54,599
I don't know if it'd be allowed,
74
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,879
but I wouldn't mind seeing
a chase sequence.
75
00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,639
Ooh, someone chasing after them.
76
00:03:58,640 --> 00:03:59,960
Maybe a detective?
77
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:03,200
A detective would be...
78
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:06,199
I'm speechless.
79
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,959
Great. Mick, leave it with us.
80
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,559
You're off to stay at a luxury hotel
in the Jumeirah Islands.
81
00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:13,719
The next time we see you,
82
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,919
we'll be at the premiere
of your very own movie.
83
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,180
How do you feel right now?
84
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,560
Where are the Jumeirah Islands?
85
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,760
They're in the United Arab Emirates.
86
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,010
Just look...
87
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,719
As Mick departed on his
first-ever flight,
88
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,039
we got to work.
89
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,559
Jess begun eyeing
up some special guest stars
90
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:42,959
of the forked tongue variety.
91
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,159
OK, can we see Diablo and Zero?
92
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,159
Is Bathsheba still available?
93
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:49,279
Argh, yeah.
94
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:51,839
It's just so hard to choose without
seeing them in action.
95
00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:54,359
Is there any way we could get, like,
a sample bucket?
96
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,399
We need them today. Thank you.
97
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,519
God, I haven't done a
snake picture for yonks.
98
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:00,570
Not since...
99
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,639
Well, Big Hiss. Big Hiss.
100
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,959
I didn't know you worked on that.
Agent at the time.
101
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,679
Got my name taken off it.
102
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:12,519
All a bit hot.
Yeah, didn't an actor nearly die?
103
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,160
A couple people died.
104
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,719
Great soundtrack.
105
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,039
It was time to transform
Sherborne Prints
106
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,559
into a secret underground lair.
107
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,839
Hey, Mr Campbell,
108
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:26,079
are you sure you want us to be
the main characters?
109
00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:28,599
Yeah, we're mostly used
to printing out pamphlets
110
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,119
for companies and events.
111
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,279
Wouldn't it be better
with proper actors
112
00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:34,399
portraying the snake switchers?
113
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,999
We have fallen head over heels
in love with Sherborne Dale.
114
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,680
These people! This place!
115
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:43,940
I mean, look at this guy.
116
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,359
He's like an actual detective.
117
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:53,319
But we haven't
had any formal acting training.
118
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,119
What do we do with our eyes?
Just keep them still.
119
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:59,199
Winnie, is this wall
going to be a problem?
120
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,320
Ah. Might be in the way. Sam.
121
00:06:01,351 --> 00:06:03,439
Should be fine.
122
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,680
SAM GRUNTS
123
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:09,930
Fuck off.
124
00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:14,719
Can I get some levels? Sorry?
125
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,710
If you just want to say
one of your lines.
126
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,319
"At midnight, we infiltrate
the National...
127
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,599
"Natural History Museum..."
Yeah, that sounded great.
128
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,639
Really?
COUGHING
129
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:26,679
You actually loved it?
130
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:27,880
I'm Sebastian. Oh.
131
00:06:31,301 --> 00:06:34,879
Yeah, he's the intimacy coordinator.
132
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,239
You've got to tell people that.
133
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,719
You can't just be sidling up to them.
134
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,319
Yeah,
I'm really looking forward to this.
135
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,239
I'm gonna make you guys comfortable
with each other's bodies.
136
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,359
Oh, we've been married
for ten years.
137
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,759
Yeah, I'll work very closely
with the both of you.
138
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,839
I've got a lot of diagrams.
139
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:50,890
Oh.
140
00:06:51,821 --> 00:06:54,479
Why are you wearing gloves?
141
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,240
Hey, I heard that.
142
00:06:56,601 --> 00:06:58,999
Yeah, he's a family friend.
143
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,119
We get a lot of money
from his parents.
144
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,170
Action.
145
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:04,880
At midnight...
146
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:10,039
...we infiltrate the
Natural History Museum
147
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:14,839
and steal that
ceremonial serpent fang.
148
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:18,079
I'm feeling pretty geed up. Same.
149
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,279
I'm so pumped.
150
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,599
But I'm a bit worried about
that ancient curse.
151
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,399
Will you relax, Mama?
152
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,279
That's just folklore.
153
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,279
I hate folklore.
154
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:32,839
Soon we'll be extremely wealthy.
155
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,999
And we will start an orphanage.
156
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,279
I thought you were
done with orphanages.
157
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,119
Only orphanages
that aren't run properly.
158
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:41,170
Hey.
159
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:43,920
Come here, Mama.
160
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,879
DOOR BEEPS AND CLICKS
161
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,839
Sorry,
I just wanted to print my CV off.
162
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,879
THEY GROAN
- Cut. - Who are you?
163
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,599
We're in the middle of a scene here!
164
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,279
Are you guys filming something?
I am done!
165
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,839
It's all right. Gordon, use this.
166
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:00,280
What's it for? Is it Marvel?
167
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,959
It's an original idea, actually!
168
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,439
It's about people
who transform into snakes!
169
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,159
We're using practical effects.
170
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,799
So when one's a snake,
the other one is a human
171
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:11,839
and they're trying to get back...
172
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,799
They take turns. They swap.
173
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,240
Should I come back in a bit or...?
174
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:17,599
Get him off my goddamn set!
175
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,159
Get out. Don't come back.
Very unprofessional.
176
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:24,319
Go! You should be ashamed of
yourself, you disgusting pig.
177
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,719
First position.
Sorry about that, guys.
178
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:27,839
Action.
179
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,239
At midnight, we...
180
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,279
DOOR BEEPS AND CLICKS
181
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,559
What did I just say, dickhead?
182
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:35,399
I'm not a dickhead.
183
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,519
We need her back on Thursday,
all right?
184
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:38,570
Oh.
185
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:40,810
Snakes.
186
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:48,079
While we checked
if the snakes were poisonous,
187
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:51,120
lucky Mick was relaxing in paradise.
188
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:56,480
I had a massage earlier.
189
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,000
Hello. Hi.
190
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,770
I can't wait to see
what they're cooking up back home.
191
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,999
What are we doing
with muesli bar wrappers?
192
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,439
I'll just take it.
193
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,039
This bloke, the detective,
194
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:22,599
he looks sensational.
195
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,519
I know, right?
196
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,679
He oozes with gravitas.
197
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:29,039
I walk in,
198
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,919
I see there's nothing on the plinth,
and say,
199
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,920
"Please, God,
you mustn't do this to me."
200
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:37,640
That's it.
201
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,159
I think we're ready.
202
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,679
Come on, people, let's roll on this.
203
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:44,730
Action.
204
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,240
CONFUSED GRUNTS
205
00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:59,210
How was that?
206
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,880
Yeah, I think we could
probably do it again.
207
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,439
You walk in, you see the plinth,
208
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,239
notice the plinth, say your line.
209
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:11,360
Gotcha.
210
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:15,960
Oh, my God.
211
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,759
- Argh!
- No, no, no! CAMERA CRASHES
212
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,439
Ooh.
213
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:23,640
Anything?
214
00:10:23,641 --> 00:10:27,119
Feel like you're really charging
the camera there, Isaac.
215
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:29,080
Yeah, it's not easy, is it?
216
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:34,679
If I could just offer
up one of my little tricks.
217
00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:37,959
Something I find helpful is to
218
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:41,399
evoke a very fucked-up
childhood memory
219
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,959
and let it just marinate into
the performance.
220
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,010
Mm.
221
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:48,480
I'll give that a go.
222
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,440
Oh.
223
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,319
Argh!
224
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,319
Ooh! No.
225
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,239
STAMMERING
226
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,520
What's wrong with you?
227
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,599
GROANING AND CRASHING
Let's go again.
228
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,600
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
229
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,159
OK.
GROANING
230
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,159
Idiot. Are you OK? Yeah.
231
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,159
Little one, give me the strength, please.
232
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:21,210
Ah.
233
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,359
Do we keep doing it? Ah.
234
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,760
I could maybe try it with an evil
New York accent.
235
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,080
That's not a bad idea.
236
00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,559
Hey, would you be upset if I told you
237
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,719
that you're too difficult
to work with,
238
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,159
and that as much
as it breaks my heart,
239
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,519
we're going to
need to recast the role?
240
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:41,280
No, I'd be all right.
241
00:11:41,281 --> 00:11:44,519
You're a good mate. You're a trouper.
242
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,239
You're a real trouper.
Isn't he a trouper?
243
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,119
You're a rock star. Yeah.
Total rock star.
244
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:51,120
CHEERING
- Bye. - Thank you so much.
245
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,559
We'd lost our detective,
246
00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:00,839
and these would be big shoes to fill.
247
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:04,239
Every movie needs to contain
at least one detective.
248
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,399
Go, go, go!
249
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,410
We were forced to split up
to find a last minute replacement.
250
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:14,199
We need you to star in a movie!
No, thank you.
251
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,559
You've got to!
252
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,279
No, I don't.
253
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:19,760
Please, take one for the team!
DESPERATE PLEAS
254
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,330
BELL DINGS
Hey, what are your measurements?
255
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,140
Have you ever fired a gun?
256
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,880
Has anyone here fired a gun?
257
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,640
GROANING
Having a nice night?
258
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,839
It's about to get even nicer.
259
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,240
You're about to get famous.
260
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,240
We're done for. We're done for!
261
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,399
No, Winnie, we can't give up.
262
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,110
Maybe we should go into
people's houses. What's that?
263
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,359
Jam or something?
264
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,530
I always thought
that was part of your head.
265
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,959
Mm. Some sort of food.
266
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:08,159
OK, I have a lot of questions
about that, but we need to focus up.
267
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,720
Let's get this show on the road!
268
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,719
The next morning, I was becoming
a little bit frustrated.
269
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:16,799
Pat, talk to me.
270
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,879
I asked everyone at the hospital.
271
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:19,960
There was just no luck.
272
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,839
Am I having a panic attack?
I hope not.
273
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:26,079
It's these townsfolk,
they're so stupid.
274
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,479
They don't know the first
thing about loyalty.
275
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,039
This place is a hole.
276
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,319
Imagine living here.
277
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:32,520
Could you do it?
278
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,279
I'd kill myself.
279
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:36,759
No, the part. The detective.
280
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:37,839
Couldn't you do it?
281
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:39,719
MURMURING
282
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,439
Ooh.
283
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:42,599
You want me to do acting?
284
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,560
Why? Why ask that?
285
00:13:44,561 --> 00:13:47,639
Do you want me to choke you?
What are you talking about?
286
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,640
Sebastian, the sequel.
287
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,839
Oh, yeah.
Funny Wedding 2 - The Funnymoon.
288
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,719
? You got me
saying ay-o, ay-o
289
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,279
? I'm finally alive... ?
290
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,039
I'm gonna choke you. No. Yeah. No.
291
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,639
I have the right to make mistakes.
Hold him back!
292
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,519
I have the right to be myself.
I'm gonna choke you!
293
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,640
I'm gonna get you!
I'm gonna drown you!
294
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,760
GROANING
295
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,920
Sebastian, why?
296
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,199
I knew this would happen.
297
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,239
Mick's gonna be devastated.
298
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,839
Serves me right for trying
to help someone for once...
299
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,760
CAR HORN BEEPS
...in my life.
300
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,560
Loco. Que las hecho a mi coche?
301
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:31,770
Hold these.
302
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,280
JESS SPEAKS SPANISH
303
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,720
HE SPEAKS SPANISH
304
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,519
Yeah.
305
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,599
OK, he's just passing through,
but he liked the sound of it.
306
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:51,879
There are stipulations.
307
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,119
He wants to wear his own clothes,
and he doesn't speak any English,
308
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,999
but, yeah, he'll do it.
309
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,199
Tell him he's the answer
to our every prayer.
310
00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,519
He saved my life.
311
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,559
Let's get to work.
SHARP HISSING
312
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,439
Help! Help!
313
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:06,199
There's always one,
and it's always you.
314
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,839
Get it off!
Hold on, what do you do again?
315
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:12,759
Leave it on till it's done,
then you yank it off very quickly.
316
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,399
Until it's done what?
Oh, I'd get it off ASAP.
317
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,319
I mean, you don't want
that on your chin.
318
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,999
Yeah, up to you, really, but
I'd yank it off immediately.
319
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,800
So what's the overall consensus?
320
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,959
I think we probably should just do
the snakes in CGI.
321
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,759
It's come a long way.
322
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,240
Well, I did it.
323
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:32,959
So, yeah.
324
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,119
It's good to see you.
Thanks for coming down, and...
325
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,170
Yeah.
326
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,039
Hey. Excuse me?
327
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,479
Mr Tucker? Mr Tucker?
328
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,479
Sorry, would you mind signing this?
329
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,959
I thought all this
stuff had been destroyed.
330
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,559
I've seen everything
you've ever made.
331
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:51,820
It's an honour to meet you.
332
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,010
Thank you so much.
333
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:58,730
Is that you?
334
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,320
Yeah. Thank you.
335
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,200
Finally, our guest of honour.
336
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,199
He's here.
337
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,720
Our prince had arrived...
338
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,159
...and he wasn't alone.
339
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,479
Welcome home. Thank you.
340
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,239
Oh, this is Lexi.
341
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,799
We met at the hotel.
342
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,750
She wanted to come along as well,
if that's all right. Hello.
343
00:16:20,751 --> 00:16:24,439
You know, this might be the toughest
challenge my team has ever faced.
344
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,319
Huh? You came to us with nothing.
345
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,079
You dared me to triumph over
the impossible.
346
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,439
Mick Hall, the moment has arrived.
347
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:37,679
Are you ready to see your idea
in the form of a movie?
348
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,639
Yes, I think so.
349
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:40,799
Can I get you anything?
350
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:41,879
Would you like some popcorn?
351
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,719
No, no, we had some
lasagne in the car.
352
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,360
OK. Far out.
353
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,080
MURMURING
354
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,170
At midnight...
355
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:02,879
...we infiltrate
the Natural History Museum
356
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:06,240
and steal that
ceremonial serpent fang.
357
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:12,920
Maybe you're right.
358
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,040
It is glowing a fair bit.
359
00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:22,120
Could be cursed after all.
SHE TUTS
360
00:17:22,121 --> 00:17:24,719
Don't tell me you're
getting cold feet.
361
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:28,479
We've been planning this for ages,
and we've come all this way.
362
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,640
Hey, same time?
363
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,600
SCREAMING
364
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,480
SCREAMING CONTINUES
365
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,400
HISSING
366
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,719
I suppose you want to throw us
in prison.
367
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,520
Haven't we suffered enough?
368
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:08,879
No.
369
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,160
HE SPEAKS SPANISH
370
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,039
What do you mean?
371
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,039
You've been in contact with
a scientist who can help us out?
372
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:22,160
Si.
373
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:27,039
I can't do it.
374
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,280
A full reversal? No way.
375
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:34,239
My machine isn't powerful enough.
376
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,120
Estas segura?
377
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,479
Do you have any idea
what it's been like
378
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,799
seeing the man I fell
in love with on the ground,
379
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,000
on his belly?
380
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,599
There must be a way.
381
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:54,520
Could maybe get away with
an operation...
382
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,999
...so you're both half and half.
383
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,719
It's the best I can do, I'm afraid.
384
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:06,480
You mean snake-human hybrids?
385
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,879
SNAKE RATTLING
386
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:12,239
I'd actually be up for that.
387
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,240
SNAKE HISSES
388
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,480
I'd like to buy a couple of orphans, please.
389
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:34,200
Of course.
390
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,240
We just got some new ones in.
391
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:43,930
Great.
392
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,300
WHISPERS: It's not really my thing.
393
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,080
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
394
00:20:56,271 --> 00:21:00,079
We weren't sure you were
gonna make it.
395
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,519
There you have it.
396
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:04,119
Everyone thought
Snake Switch was interesting,
397
00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:06,679
and things were really popping off
in the foyer.
398
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,279
Cinema will never die.
399
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,799
GORDON CHUCKLES
I'm buzzing.
400
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,039
Everyone's saying I crushed it.
401
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,999
Do you think we should sell
the shop and go pro?
402
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,159
I definitely want to appear
in more movies,
403
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:19,559
move in to the music industry side
of things, my own clothing line,
404
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:23,960
but ultimately, I want to open
a theme park that's just for men.
405
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,400
HE SPEAKS SPANISH
406
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,920
He was cool, wasn't he,
the detective?
407
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,519
Some people just don't belong on
the screen.
408
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:43,679
Some people should exist,
but without any evidence.
409
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:44,960
Yeah.
410
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,050
100%.
411
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,560
That's what I call another
happy customer.
412
00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:06,279
But what becomes of the director
after they call "Cut"?
413
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:07,360
Hm.
414
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,720
Hey. The movie was a big hit.
You did it.
415
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,520
It was good, yeah. It was perfect...
416
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:18,760
...but it wasn't a masterpiece.
417
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:22,580
Hey, did you see that email?
418
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,230
A woman in the Midlands
just had an idea.
419
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:27,599
Yeah? Yeah.
420
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,650
It's about the
world's smallest butler.
421
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:32,959
He's the size of a cup... Ah.
422
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,520
...but he's still great at his job.
423
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:41,770
What kind of cup?
424
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,559
Hey, you. Yes, you.
425
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,239
Have you got an idea for a movie?
426
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,559
We're always on the hunt
for new submissions.
427
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:50,759
Head on over to our website
428
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,930
and click through to
the Application Zone.
429
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,599
Remember, we only read ideas
430
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,319
that are in all capital letters,
431
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,999
and submissions must be
under ten gigabytes.
432
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,199
This is a pretty generous size limit.
433
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,559
Please refrain from using
the website for any other purpose.
434
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:07,799
Please.
435
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,079
We did not build this website
436
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,719
for you to transfer files
or store other documents.
437
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,959
We're still learning how
to delete unwanted files.
438
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:19,039
This is not the cloud.
This is a serious website.
439
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,119
It's for movie ideas.
440
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,200
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
441
00:23:23,250 --> 00:23:27,800
Repair and Synchronization by
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