Original subtitles

[Raj and Mir yelling]

[snapping, stabbing, screaming]

-Damn! -Damn!

[thudding]

Let's just all take a deep breath.

??

[Raj Dar] Previously, on Deli Boys...

[Baba Dar] My boys, if you're seeing this,

it means the unthinkable has happened.

-[golf ball thumps] -[both gasp]

[screaming]

[Baba] [on video] Time to learn how you'll make real money!

With cocaine!

Just think of Ahmad and I as your trusted consiglieres.

[gunshot, bod thuds]

[screaming]

If you want us to move your smack,

we want 50% of your drug money.

[Mir Dar] Nandika, how would you like to marry my brother?

-What? -Dad, tell Mom to say yes.

We should get West Philly.

The balls on these guys.

??

West Philly's yours.

[all cheering and laughing]

[gun cocks]

-Ahmad. -You're taking the fall for Baba's murder.

FBI, freeze!

Ahmad had your father... [groans] killed!

Ahmad!

I'm gonna kill him.

-Oh! -Ooh!

-[thudding] -[slapping]

[explosion blasts]

-[gunshot] -[Raj] Oh!

[Mir] What the hell?!

[doorbell jingles]

Tell us where the money is!

[? dramatic music playing]

-Benjamin Franklin? -That's White Madea.

What the fuck you mean, "White Madea"?

What are you doing? Put your mask back on!

-Oh, shit. I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. -Hide the cash.

[? "The Seed (2.0)" by The Roots playing]

? In these streets she done ran ?

? Ever since when the heat began ?

? I told the girl look here, calm down, I'ma hold your hand ?

? To enable you to keep the plan 'cause you is quick to learn ?

? And we can make money to burn ?

? If you allow me the latest game ?

? I don't ask for much ?

? But enough room to spread my wings... ?

Ah, a hundred for you.

A one hundred for you.

A hundred for you. Beautiful day, huh?

-Get yourself an extra drink, fellas. -Frankies for you. Wow!

A billy for you.

You get a rack.

[dice rattling]

Good morning! We're here to meet with the proprietor

of this esteemed establishment.

-And you are? -Oh. We are DarCo, motherfucker.

"DarCo Motherfuck..."

[Lucky] We have an appointment with Max Sugar.

I know who you are.

You guys are legends around these parts. Congrats.

Being rich is hard, man. You know what I'm talking about?

I told you my ideas work.

"Oh, Mir, thank you so much for taking DarCo to the next stratosphere.

-You're so smart and--" -Mir, dude, relax.

They're with me.

[Raj] I'm not gonna kiss this Max Sugar guy's ass

just because he owns a casino.

[Mir] Then I'll kiss his ass because he's the only option

we have left to launder our cash.

[Raj] Oh, yeah? You're gonna tickle his taint, too?

[Mir] Oh, my God, shut up and focus!

We're screwed if he says no. You know that, right?

The Pho Brothers, the Clark Park gang,

every criminal in South Philly is trying to jack our shit.

Not to mention whoever blew up the deli.

[explosion booms]

[Raj] Come on, Mir. You know that was Ahmad.

[Mir] Raj, focus.

Just let me do the talking. Okay?

-Ooh. -Have a seat.

-Don't touch nothing. -Oh.

[whispers] The big leagues.

[softly chuckles]

Wow. If we can get this deal done,

maybe Auntie won't still have to do the grunt work of running a drug empire

and you two can finally man up.

-We do things. -Yeah.

-Thanks for the pre-game hype. -Shh!

Oh.

-[Max Sugar] Hello. -[all gasp]

[Lucky] Huh?

-Hey! -Oh, shit!

[laughing] I'm sorry.

I did not mean to scare you.

Or, maybe I did mean to scare you a little.

You especially, 'cause you squealed a little.

That was really good. You're like, "Ah!"

I-I would say it's-- Uh, I was just startled.

What's the sound you made?

We don't, we don't have to do that.

Yeah, we have to do it.

What was-- What was the sound?

-[squeals] -[Max] Yeah. It's fear.

[? percussive music playing]

Are you still scared?

-I don't want to talk about it. -I'm scared.

You are.

[? funky upbeat music playing]

[gunshots]

[bullet shells clinking]

[wet wiping]

Well, we don't want to waste any of your time, so I'll get to it.

Mr. Sugar, due to our recent success,

our profits have tripled.

We have record cash flow,

and we're the number one coke distributor in Philly.

Long story short, we are that bad bitch

and you could be our sugar daddy.

So, here we are.

Just a drug empire,

standing in front of a casino mogul,

asking him to launder.

Hmm. Hmm.

Cool monitors, Patriot Act.

Hey, how far do these tapes go back?

I'm looking for this traitor, named Ahmad.

[Mir sighs heavily]

-Here? -Here.

[speaking Urdu] Aur tum? Idhar kharey hojao.

Whoa!

Wouldn't want to cross her, huh?

No, you wouldn't.

Which is why I won't.

If you did, you'd be sorry.

[? romantic music playing]

I don't understand this vibe.

Uh, Mr. Sugar, if I could just have your attention for a second.

Uh, DarCo is now grossing over two million dollars per quarter,

so we would love to just, you know,

get down to business, see what we can do.

Well, the thing is, I don't do anything illegal here.

[softly] I do.

So, we'll make this quick.

We take a 20% cut of every dollar laundered here.

There is no way in hell we can do that.

-Five percent. -Oh, I see.

We're gonna do that thing where we go back and forth.

That's great. Uh, but I said 20!

-Four percent. -Twenty.

Twenty-eight.

-What? -What?

It felt wrong the moment I said it.

The thing is, Mr. Sugar...

we don't need this deal.

Mm.

That's good. I almost believed you.

[? romantic music resumes playing]

I like dealing with real criminals,

not fake ones

that pose for magazine covers.

[magazine thuds]

[Mir gasps]

Sir, I have this issue.

Man, you look incredible!

Like a mix of Steve Jobs and Mr. Wonderful.

I mean, you're a real silver fox.

And not to mention, your eyes are popping.

Is this Photoshop?

I've heard that before.

That my eyes really...

pop.

[? romantic music continues]

[chuckles]

Oh, I don't like that at all.

Looks like someone forgot their table manners.

[crowd cheering]

[? loud thumping music playing in casino]

Yeah!

Hi. Good afternoon, everybody.

You enjoying yourselves?

Good. Uh, I'm the owner of the casino, Max Sugar,

and I'm down here on the floor.

Do we think that's good news or bad news?

See, this is a guy who knows how to behave, you know?

Professional.

-You. -[dice rattling]

Are they yours?

-Uh... -[Max] Whoa.

These are very heavy, huh?

Kinda lopsided. Let's try this out.

[dice clatter]

Hard six. That happens. Let's try it again.

Could just be lucky.

[dice clatter]

Hard six again.

See? That's hard to swallow.

-Grab him. -[grunts]

There's a game I like to play with people.

It's called "Eat the Dice."

Did you ever hear of Eat the Dice?

-No. -Oh. What you do is,

first, you put these dice in your hand.

There we go.

Kinda look at 'em and you go, "Wow, look at these dice."

Then, you put 'em in your mouth.

-Mr. Sugar, I-- -Otherwise, Tony's gonna do it for you.

-Oh. -Ugh.

[Raj] This is getting dark.

There you go. Now, don't swallow 'em.

The key is you've gotta chew them.

Alright, I take it back. He's definitely not a good guy.

Like you're chewing gum.

-Alright, break those things down. -[teeth crunching]

Let's count this down. Ready? To 32.

-One... -[crowd] One...

-...two... -[crowd] ...two...

-...three... -[Mir] Three.

-Stop it! -[crowd] ...four,

five, six...

-[Max] Oh, that's enough. Six. -[spitting]

-Ooh! -[Mir groans]

-You lost a tooth. Take him away. -[gambler sobbing]

[gambler yelps]

That's one way of dealing with that.

[sighs] I got spittle on my tie, so I think, uh,

I have to reschedule.

[clicks tongue] Oh.

He's fucking with us. Let's go.

No, no, wait! I still want to do that haggling thing again.

What if we meet tonight at 7:00?

And I think maybe... just Lucky.

You seem more like the boss.

-Actually, we share responsibility. -No. Kinda like a trio.

-We do a lot of things. -We-- Co-Chief Saabs.

I'll be there.

Alright. It's a date.

Mm. Not a date.

-Fair enough. I'll see you at 7:00. -8:00.

7:30.

7:45, or I don't come at all.

7:46. I think we've got a good rapport going on,

I like this.

7:45.

[sighs]

[D.A. Andrew Chadwater] Philadelphia, are you sick of drug dealers,

sickos, and crooks ruining your city?

It's time to stand up and say heck no to drugs

and say heck yes to Chadwater for Mayor.

I'm Andrew Chadwater,

and I'm running for Mayor of Philadelphia.

And I approve this message.

I have the highest prosecution rate in three years.

I'm not throwing that away because she "might" be innocent.

[snort chuckles]

What's the latest on this Jawnie situation?

Uh, Jawnies are officially an epidemic.

Jawnies are this new trend where you mix cocaine with water ices--

[Chadwater] I know what Jawnies are!

-[girl] [on tablet] Watch this! -[friends] [chanting] Jawnies! Jawnies!

[grunts, thuds]

Mm. Effin' Dars!

Jawnies are just another cheap way

to push their baloney, black market agenda to college kids.

That one is pretty cute.

Turn that off. You clearly like this too much.

That girl has a back injury now. She's never gonna be the same.

I know this is a sensitive matter for you

with your ex-husband being a coke addict.

Hey! We're not talking about Craig.

Okay.

-Did he call? -No.

[groans] Gosh dammit!

-[sighs] -[exhales sharply]

If the Dars weren't out there slinging the devil's snow around the city,

Craig would be at home right now making me a pasta

from The New York Times.

And the streets of Philadelphia would be safe.

Didn't Craig's addiction start before?

[staffers chattering]

That's none of your business, Jim.

So, why don't you shut your fat mouth? You're fired.

[? percussive music playing]

Jim, I said you're fired!

Train that twink next to you to do what you do

and get the fuck out!

I just do laptop.

That went great.

Fucking narc.

[speaking Urdu] Darwaza kholo.

-[car horns honking] -[paper ripping]

-[Lucky and Mir chattering] -[doorbell jingles]

[Matthew] Welcome home, leaders of DarCo!

[imitating trumpet fanfare]

Thanks for watching the cash, Matthew.

-It is but a privilege. -I'll take that.

What the hell is this?

You put five G's in the wheat bread? I use this for fiber.

The freezer's, like, completely full.

What are you even doing when we're not here?

I hide the cash like you... told me to.

I could buy a bloody Porsche with these laddus.

Lucky Auntie, we've run out of places to hide our money.

We finally get cash in a cashless world.

Ironic, Alanis.

Okay.

-Why would you put cash in a chip bag? -[tripwire buzzing]

Don't touch that!

-[nails whooshing] -Oh, shit!

[groans]

[grunting]

What the fuck was that?

Bro, do you think I'm an idiot that wouldn't protect our cash

-with booby traps? - Oh, my God.

[Mir] Yeah, I do think you're an idiot.

Why didn't you give me a warning? That could have hit me!

You're fine.

Oh, my God. We gotta get that deal done tonight, Lucky.

Just flirt a little,

show a little clavicle, laugh at his jokes.

-He'll pretend to listen. Come on. -[whimpering]

Show him a little leg. Give him that neck.

No chance, boys, I don't mix business and pleasure.

-Why not? -[Lucky] Because gadhe,

sex is transactional and business is intimate.

Oh, wow. That's healthy.

Don't worry. We can manage without this man.

Hey, hey, Lucky Auntie, loo-- look! Look at me. Stop!

You cannot fit two million dollars a quarter in your...

bosom.

You can't.

Fine.

I'll go make this deal if I think I trust him.

-Thank you. -[Lucky] In the meantime,

secure the deli.

Make sure no one comes in and out.

-Matthew, don't be a baby. -[Matthew groans]

Have fun on your date!

Make good choices!

[straining] Hey, um, could somebody take me to the hospital?

Matthew, just shut up. Oh, my God!

Oh! What happened to you?

[voice strained] The chips, man.

-You did this! -This is your fault!

[doors creaking]

[footsteps echoing]

I knew this was a trap. That motherfucker.

[? suspenseful music playing]

[lights clicking]

[? "The More I Do for You Baby" by Cliff Nobles playing over speakers]

Lucky, welcome.

Max?

I wanted us to have a little privacy for our meeting tonight,

so I closed the casino.

[speaking Urdu] Namkeen?

No, thank you.

[? "The More I Do for You Baby" continues playing]

Okay.

[Max sighs]

You know,

you could put your gun away.

[tapping] It's my emotional support gun.

Would you prefer one or two tripwires, Chief Saab?

-[booby trap beeping] -"Raj" is fine.

Mir's got the boner for the whole "Chief Saab" thing.

Dude! Max won the William Penn Entrepreneur of the Year award

2003, 2013, and 2023.

I mean, he's like a generational superstar.

[Raj] Dude, you are obsessed with this Max guy.

[Mir] 'Cause he's everything we could be.

An ethnically ambiguous sadist

-who's into our Auntie? -[booby trap beeps]

No, a criminal that's so good he's literally above the law.

Like a white celebrity when they do vehicular manslaughter.

[Max] You look good in my palace.

I'd look better in my own palace.

[? soft music playing]

Who is that?

That is my daughter, Seven.

I'm a classic girl dad.

I've seen Chappell Roan twice.

[chuckles]

Her mom died when she was young.

Very tragic, you know?

We just learned how to move on.

I've been alone ever since.

[smacks lips] I'm sorry.

It's okay. But thank you.

Okay, so we will launder our money through your casino.

Three percent. That's standard--

Uh, Lucky, let me just cut to the chase.

I'm willing to do whatever laundering terms you want

if you go on a second date with me?

Max... this is not a first date.

I don't mix business and pleasure.

[Max] What if we play for it?

Hmm? Blackjack?

How do we become like this Max guy?

Good question. We buy a golf course.

We'll be rubbing shoulders with Philly's elite.

Untouchable from cops. Away from all this riff-raff.

[crying] Baba's dream.

Exactly! And dude, I'm already texting with a guy

who's on the board of the Doylestown Heights Golf Club.

They're looking to sell.

I love a riches-to-rags-to-riches story.

We could be the next great American family.

Like the Kennedys, but brown.

Like the Rockefellers, but brown.

Like the Hadids, but dudes.

I'm Bella, obviously, 'cause I'm dark and mysterious.

You're totally Bella. Dibs on Gigi.

You idiots. That makes me Yolanda.

The mother?

If I win, we mix business and pleasure.

If you win, you choose business or pleasure.

-Deal. -Alright.

But I deal.

Fair enough.

[? "(I Want You) Every Night and Day" by The Springers playing]

[Max] Alright, hit me.

I'd love to.

Oh, look at that.

You won.

Well, what are you gonna choose, Lucky?

Fuck it.

? Oh ?

[bong water gurgling]

[exhaling slowly]

Hey. You okay?

You haven't blinked in, like, 10 minutes.

Just daydreaming about the first thing I'm gonna buy when we get our money clean.

Carbon fiber bow and arrow to kill Ahmad.

-Sssp. -[Raj] I'll be ready for him.

-[strikes thudding] -[grunting]

[inhales sharply]

-[doorbell jingles] -[sighs]

Lucky Auntie? Are you okay?

Did you and Max get into a fight?

[Raj] Bro, that is not fight hair.

That's fuck hair.

Oh, so like a win-win?

About that.

As I was choking Max...

-I told you they were fighting. -No, that's rough play.

I'll teach you about it later.

We don't need Max Sugar.

-What? -We rebuilt DarCo on our own, right?

With no help from any man, whatsoever.

-I'm a man! -I'm a man!

So, I just decided to have a night off.

Consider it your Auntie's much needed vacation.

[Mir] No! We don't need vacations right now.

We need to launder millions of dollars.

And the only person that can do that is Max Sugar.

Why don't you guys listen to what I'm telling--

Calm down!

I don't know him well enough to get into bed with him.

You were literally just in bed with him.

That is disgusting. We did it on the floor.

-Oh, gross! -You really have to stop with the details.

Bacche, we've been here before,

and we will figure this out as a family, like we always do.

I, I just, I need a few more days. Just--

-[doorbell jingles] -[gunshot]

Tell us where the money is!

[Raj] What the fuck?

Show us the Benjamins!

-Benjamin Franklin? -That's White Madea.

What the fuck you mean, "White Madea"?

What are you doing? Put your mask back on!

-Oh, shit. I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. -Hide the cash.

[? intense music playing]

-Go, go, go, go! -[booby trap beeping]

-[punching, thudding] -[goons grunting]

-[tripwire snaps] -[alarm blaring]

Fuck, where's my gun?

[goon 1] Ah! We need back up! Get your asses in here!

Blacklights? What is this Room Raiders?

I rigged it so they can't see us but we can see them.

-Keep packing. -Alright. No, wait!

[explosion booms]

I rigged the coke, too.

-[inhaling deeply] -Now they can see us, you idiot!

-[alarm continues blaring] -Hey, where are you at?

Yo, she's over here!

Alright, forget the money. We gotta help Lucky.

-[bottle thumping] -[goons grunting]

[Mir] Okay. On my count.

-One-- -Now!

Goddammit!

-Hurry up, man! -I am!

-[goon] Come here, bitchboy! -Shit.

Hey! Get back! I'll throw this on you, I swear!

-What you think you're gonna do with that? -[Mir grunts]

-[Mir] Let's go! -[alarm stops]

-[kick thuds] -Come here!

-[Lucky grunts] -Got ya!

-[Lucky yelling] -[goon grunting]

[Lucky continues yelling]

[goon 1] What the fuck is this?

-Come on. Move! -[gun cocks]

[all grunting]

Let's go.

[Lucky] Don't touch them!

[Lucky grunting]

Stop moving! Turn on the lights!

[Lucky and goons struggling]

[lights click]

[Lucky panting]

[goon 2] What are you doing?

[goon 1] We don't leave witnesses.

Leave them alone!

[doorbell jingles]

Hey, Lucky, guess what you forgot at the casin--

Hey!

[panting]

What's going on here?

[goon 1] Get out of here, old man,

or I'm firing nine millimeters into your silver dome.

Thank you very much for warning me.

I really appreciate that.

But what's actually gonna happen is

you're gonna drop that gun...

you're gonna play a little game of chance with me.

I saw him play that game.

He was really good at it. You guys should play.

You've got some balls, dude.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

He's a three-time William Penn Entrepreneur of the Year!

My name is Max. It's Max Sugar.

Wait, you're Max Sugar?

The maniac who took out the Camden Gang?

[Max] Oh, no. They just lost a game of dice,

which is what we're gonna play.

[? tense music playing]

-Odds or Even? -No, sir, I-I-I, I don't think that I--

Or I could just go to your house and make your family play instead.

-Do you want that? -No. I'll-- I'll play, I'll play!

Um... even.

Even.

[dice clatter]

Even!

-You get to go home. -[goon sighs]

So, you have three seconds to do that. One--

Let's fucking go!

[goons panicking]

[running footsteps]

-[Mir sighs] -[Max] Wow. They're fast.

Max, I just wanna--

Tony. Yes.

Um, I think there's five of them.

Um, no. No.

What was the first one? Shotgun.

Yeah, just try to...

Alright. Alright, I'll talk to you later. Bye.

-I just wanted to say that-- -[gunshot]

[four gunshots]

You were saying?

-[dogs barking] -Um...

Uh, th-thank you.

Yeah. We just really, really appreciate

everything you've just done for us.

Oh, no problem.

Well, I should go.

I should get back to that successful

money-laundering casino of mine.

[both chuckle nervously]

Hmm.

Yeah, well-- Well, get home safe.

[Max] I will.

Wait, Max.

Yes?

[? romantic music playing]

I think... I can mix business and pleasure with you.

Are you sure?

I don't want to rush things.

I'm sure.

You can fuck me, but don't fuck me over.

[? romantic music continues]

So happy to be in business together.

Read the room!

-Why? -They're trying to have a moment.

Look at them.

-Oh, uh, sorry, guys. -Come on.

-Shut the fuck up. Let's go. -Oh!

[? "Here I Come" by The Roots playing]

? He said, "Yeah you better come out with ?

? Your hands up, we got you surrounded" ?

? I'm in the back, changing my outfit ?

? He said, "Blink, we gon' send the hounds in" ?

? I said, "Wait, 'cause here I come... ?

I feel it in my heart, guys.

Ahmad was behind the deli robbery, and I'm gonna get him.

Alright, relax, John Wick.

We'll get Ahmad once Max cleans our money, okay?

One step at a time.

You really like Max?

I like that he doesn't ask annoying questions.

Okay. Everything's looking good.

Yeah, it is.

? ...'cause here I come ?

? Here I come, here I come... ?

Whoa.

I have never felt less sex-positive.

? I really got nothin' to hide, I'm 'bout cuttin'... ?

Yeah, yeah. We should go.

But which do you prefer, sir?

You should know I'd rather have you make a mistake

than ask a question.

[notification chimes]

The Dars have been spotted at the Sugar Palace Casino.

Yes! That's what I'm talking about.

Time to make a trip to the Sugar Palace.

-We're gonna get those fucking Dars. -[Safia] Mm-hmm.

Especially the cuter one.

Unless he's your cousin?

I'm just joshing. I know you're one of the good ones.

[Safia] I am, sir.

[Chadwater] Yeah, but they're not, and we are gonna take them down.

? I said "Wait, 'cause here I come ?

? Here I come, here I come ?

? You boys get ready 'cause here I come ?

? Here I come, here I come, yeah" ?

? Black Inc., raw life in this whatchamacallit ?

? Smokin' junkie, alcoholic ?

? One foot in the grave one foot in the toilet ?

? Still I'm onstage in front of an audience ?

? Disturbing the peace and the local ordinance ?

? This pimp poppin', I need coordinates ?

? My ETA, I'll arrive by morning ?

? Money long like the arms on Alonzo Mourning ?

? Vampire chicks suck blood dusk to dawn and ?

? Waitin' to catch me sleep but I'm not yawnin' ?

? They in the VIP at the Garden ?

? They gon' jump me when I stop performing ?

? I got something for them behind the organ ?

? I always roll deep with my squadron ?

? The sheriff out front gon' sic the dogs in ?

? That... talkin' 'bout he got warrants ?

? He said, "Yeah you better come out with ?

? Your hands up, we got you surrounded" ?

? I'm in the back, changing my outfit ?

? He said, "Blink we gon' send the hounds in" ?

? I said, "Wait, 'cause here I come ?

? Here I come, here I come ?

? You boys get ready 'cause here I come ?

? Here I come, here I come, yeah" ?

??

[? fanfare playing]

??

You are a business god!

??

-Ooh-ooh! -[laughing]

Oh!

Lucky, I would be the happiest

if I could call you Chief Executive Officer

of a fake corporation.

This is every girl's dream.

[Chadwater] We're gonna get those Dars.

And we need hard evidence.

It's too risky to pull a frame job.

It's chive o'clock!

You know I'm intermittent fasting.

Lucky, this is couples' therapy.

You will never fix me.

I'm just gonna take a benzo, if that's okay.

Ahmad killed Baba.

-Bring Ahmad's head for me? -You're not coming with us?

You can do this! You have your brother with you.

[derisive laughter] You have pulled a Rambo.

My man is in the clink!

-I didn't do it. -Of course you didn't.

-You both want me? -Yes, Lucky.

Whoever can get Raj out of jail gets me.

You guys want to date my Auntie?

-Then you're gonna have to-- -We know. We followed.

-She made it really clear. -Stated it so plainly.

This is what the universe wants for us.

Oh really? Does it?

-Ah! -Whoo!

Did you really bring cocaine to a pitch meeting?

These boys know how to party!

??

-She scares me. -Have fun.

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