Original subtitles

Indistinct phone chatter slowly fading in

Hello, Dustin, You there? You okay, love?

Me?

Oh, no, no. Absolutely, good as gold.

Good on you, you poor bugger

You've got to take care of yourself in times like this, don't you?

Drink lots of water.

Yeah. No, no. Totally agree.

Oh, and a nice power walk to clear your head

make sure you get lots of sleep, you've got to sleep.

-Yes. Mum. -Very important.

-No, it's super impotant. -You've got to rest. -Yeah, have to.

-It was a nice day though, darling? -Yeah, it was.

-As nice as it can be, of course. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was. No, it was lovely.

Hey, listen mama

-Yeah, I gotta run. -Are you sure you're alright? -Yeah.

-Okay, well we love you sweetheart. -No, you too, and Dad.

-Sorry we couldn't make it, love, bocce finals.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Nope.

Dumb Things by Paul Kelly plays

Who wants another beer? Guilty.

Woooooo!

Fuck

Dusty boy

What the fuck?

Ashleigh laughs

You look fucked.

Ooo boy. We are a cooked little unit, aren't we just?

Oh my God.

All right. Love you. Bye.

What?

Yes, I'm aware of how fucked up this is.

Distant laughter

Maybe just one more.

Ashlegh: Holy shit, Dustin.

Oh my god. Oh my god.

This is real fucked up.

Dustin and Ashleigh scream

Oh my God. What is it?

Ashleigh laughs

Relax, you just railed half my left tit. What did you expect?

It's good to see you're coping well.

Although, skipping your best mate's wake

that's pretty fucking rude.

Ashleigh farts

You want a beer? My shout.

Why is it so thick?

Oh my god, look at the state of this kitchen

Also, call your Mum back, you got like thirty five missed calls, you dog.

Ashleigh?

Ash?

just broken my fucking brain, that's okay.

-Ooo, That was a big boy bump.

I get it. I'd miss me.

-Do it.

What?

Do it.

Hey, play our favourite song

Dumb Things by Paul Kelly plays

Yiew!

Here I come, ready or not!

-I forgot how fucking weird your Nan's is.

Piss off, it's free, bro.

-She definitely shot pornos here. -Hundred percent,

You run a blue light over this place, you'd go fucking blind, see it from space.

These walls have seen a lot of dicks.

Oh, man. If they could talk, they'd just be screaming: Dick!

I never saw the appeal of dicks.

Fucking broke my heart when you dumped me.

-What, In year two? -Yeah, bro, still recovering.

Dustin coughs

Fuck.

-Feint Dustin.

-What happened today?

Hey.

-Hey, You made it. -Of course.

You look fucked.

Do you remember today?

What happened today?

You

Ash, don't make me do this.

I asked you to stay and you

you left.

I left.

I said hey, I might be dead tomorrow

And you called me a drama queen, and you left.

-Come on, Ash. I didn't know. --I was scared

and you left. I fucking needed you and you left

because you are a selfish prick

All of this is for you --

you're the one who fucked off, remember?

You left me.

-That's what you think I thought?

Dude, you brought me chicken nuggets every fucking day.

I should have been there.

Well, at least we'll always have Paris.

We never went to fucking Paris.

I just really fucking miss you.

Yeah, but this isn't me.

I know.

-It's okay.

You're gonna be okay.

Now go on...

Fuck off.

-G'day, it's me, Ashleigh.

Ooo, spooky.

You're probably wondering: "What's with the weird, tiny urn," huh?

Well, it is your own Little piece of ash. Get it?

Lucky you!

Do with me what you will.

You can ditch me at our favourite spot

--or keep me on the shelf, you sick fuck.

Just know that you have this because you mean...

...you meant the world to me.

Love you always, Ashleigh.

Alright, done.

Oh, how do I stop...?

Oh, fuck.

Okay, bye. Literally --

that's a bit fucking dark.