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All language subtitles for Fresh Off The Boat - 02x23 - The Manchurian Dinner Date.KILLERS.English.HI.C.edit.Addic7ed.com

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,696 --> 00:00:05,463 Look at you boys. 2 00:00:05,498 --> 00:00:08,399 I can't believe the school year's almost over. 3 00:00:08,434 --> 00:00:09,801 In fact, stand against the wall. 4 00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:11,369 I want to see how much you've grown. 5 00:00:11,403 --> 00:00:13,471 You've never measured us before. 6 00:00:13,506 --> 00:00:16,040 Yeah, but the last family who lived here measured their kids. 7 00:00:16,075 --> 00:00:17,375 Let's see how you stack up against 8 00:00:17,409 --> 00:00:20,278 Howie, Jack, and Kimmy Pozlacek. 9 00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:21,513 What happened to Kimmy? 10 00:00:21,547 --> 00:00:24,349 At a certain point, she just disappeared altogether. 11 00:00:24,383 --> 00:00:25,950 Did she go to college? 12 00:00:25,985 --> 00:00:27,252 She was so short. 13 00:00:27,286 --> 00:00:29,487 I'm so proud of you boys. 14 00:00:29,522 --> 00:00:32,957 Evan's finishing third grade, Eddie seventh, 15 00:00:32,992 --> 00:00:35,026 and Emery's graduating elementary school 16 00:00:35,060 --> 00:00:36,995 as the fifth-grade valedictorian. 17 00:00:37,029 --> 00:00:38,730 He gets to give a speech. 18 00:00:38,764 --> 00:00:40,331 Okay, let's talk graduation presents. 19 00:00:40,366 --> 00:00:42,167 What are you getting me? Can I have Jordans? 20 00:00:42,201 --> 00:00:43,234 No, we're not getting you 21 00:00:43,269 --> 00:00:45,570 another pair of basketball heels. 22 00:00:45,604 --> 00:00:47,373 We're getting you something better. 23 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:48,673 - Yes! - Awesome! 24 00:00:48,707 --> 00:00:50,675 By Santa's beard! 25 00:00:52,545 --> 00:00:53,778 What? 26 00:00:53,812 --> 00:00:56,648 You are invited to the Cattleman's Ranch 27 00:00:56,682 --> 00:01:00,785 Rib-Eye on the Future Graduation Buffet Dinner, 28 00:01:00,819 --> 00:01:02,187 featuring all-you-can-eat chicken. 29 00:01:03,275 --> 00:01:06,925 If it's Rib-Eye on the Future, why are we having chicken? 30 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:10,094 Because chicken is the steak of the future. 31 00:01:10,665 --> 00:01:13,164 Wow. 32 00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:15,733 S02E23 The Manchurian Dinner Date 33 00:01:15,768 --> 00:01:16,901 ♪ Fresh off the boat 34 00:01:16,936 --> 00:01:18,603 ♪ I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ♪ 35 00:01:18,637 --> 00:01:20,738 ♪ If you don't know, homey, now you know ♪ 36 00:01:20,773 --> 00:01:22,006 ♪ Fresh off the boat 37 00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:24,342 ♪ Homey, you don't know where I come from ♪ 38 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,877 ♪ But I know where I'm goin' 39 00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:27,077 ♪ I'm fresh off the boat 40 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,639 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 41 00:01:28,681 --> 00:01:31,015 So, our big graduation present 42 00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:35,186 is dinner at your restaurant, which we eat at all the time? 43 00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:37,155 That's incredible! 44 00:01:37,189 --> 00:01:38,289 [Chuckles] 45 00:01:38,324 --> 00:01:39,991 We'll go to your graduation, then eat after. 46 00:01:40,025 --> 00:01:42,660 And you can each invite one friend to bring with you. 47 00:01:42,695 --> 00:01:44,729 Great! I'll invite my friend J.J. 48 00:01:44,763 --> 00:01:46,364 No. J.J.'s too chicken crazy. 49 00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:48,533 And he goes through napkins like wildfire. 50 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:49,567 Very well. 51 00:01:49,602 --> 00:01:51,469 Then I'll invite Mommy. 52 00:01:51,503 --> 00:01:54,706 Oh, I would love to go with you, my angel. 53 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,241 Good. That's one less mouth to feed. 54 00:01:56,275 --> 00:01:58,509 My boo, Alison, is performing at Emery's graduation 55 00:01:58,544 --> 00:02:00,078 with the Orlando Youth Orchestra. 56 00:02:00,112 --> 00:02:01,646 We can give her a ride to dinner. 57 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,715 Great. So Eddie's bringing his girlfriend. 58 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:06,012 Girlfriend?! What girlfriend? 59 00:02:07,004 --> 00:02:08,978 Um... Alison? 60 00:02:09,442 --> 00:02:11,356 I've mentioned her several times. 61 00:02:11,390 --> 00:02:13,324 I just said "my boo, Alison"? 62 00:02:13,359 --> 00:02:15,226 "Boo"? That's the word of a ghost. 63 00:02:15,261 --> 00:02:17,729 Eddie, I had no idea you had a girlfriend. 64 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:20,565 In fact, I don't understand most of what you say. 65 00:02:21,047 --> 00:02:21,899 Sho' nuff. 66 00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:22,967 What? I... 67 00:02:23,002 --> 00:02:25,036 Don't worry. I met Alison at the Fall Ball. 68 00:02:25,070 --> 00:02:26,137 She's a great girl. 69 00:02:26,171 --> 00:02:27,805 Yeah, Mom. You'll love her. 70 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,475 Really? Think about how many people I love. 71 00:02:31,410 --> 00:02:32,847 Do the math. 72 00:02:33,469 --> 00:02:35,747 Have your brothers help you do the math. 73 00:02:43,389 --> 00:02:44,689 [School bell rings] 74 00:02:44,723 --> 00:02:45,790 - I know, right? - Yeah. 75 00:02:45,824 --> 00:02:47,358 [Gasps] That's what I was saying! 76 00:02:47,393 --> 00:02:48,893 Hey, Alison. Hey, Nicole. 77 00:02:48,927 --> 00:02:50,428 - What's up? - Just hanging out. 78 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,563 Talking about something other than a man. 79 00:02:52,598 --> 00:02:53,898 It's called the Bechdel test. 80 00:02:53,932 --> 00:02:55,867 We learned about it when we were studying feminism. 81 00:02:55,901 --> 00:02:57,368 We'd tell you more, but we'd fail. 82 00:02:57,403 --> 00:02:58,569 Cool, cool. 83 00:02:58,604 --> 00:02:59,804 So, Alison, my parents are throwing a dinner 84 00:02:59,838 --> 00:03:00,938 after Emery's graduation, 85 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:02,573 and they said I could bring a date. 86 00:03:02,608 --> 00:03:05,209 Great! I'm so excited to finally meet your mom. 87 00:03:05,244 --> 00:03:06,544 Oh, Mrs. Huang? 88 00:03:06,578 --> 00:03:07,712 You're gonna love her. 89 00:03:07,746 --> 00:03:09,614 I hung out with her when I babysat Eddie. 90 00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:12,016 We were more like co-babysitters. 91 00:03:12,051 --> 00:03:14,952 No, she paid me to watch you. 92 00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,254 Later. 93 00:03:16,593 --> 00:03:18,389 Don't be nervous. Parents love me... 94 00:03:18,424 --> 00:03:20,391 My mom wants me to date a Chinese girl. 95 00:03:20,816 --> 00:03:22,760 What? She said that? 96 00:03:22,795 --> 00:03:24,762 She's been saying that for a long time. 97 00:03:24,797 --> 00:03:27,932 If we talk to our baby, he'll learn the sound of our voices. 98 00:03:27,966 --> 00:03:31,436 Hey, little baby, this is your bÃ ba. 99 00:03:31,470 --> 00:03:32,537 [Doorbell rings] 100 00:03:32,571 --> 00:03:34,205 Uh, that must be your buffalo wings. 101 00:03:34,239 --> 00:03:35,707 Be right there! 102 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:41,412 Baby, this is your mother. 103 00:03:41,447 --> 00:03:44,182 You're going to date a Chinese girl. 104 00:03:44,216 --> 00:03:45,917 I thought she'd gotten over that, 105 00:03:45,951 --> 00:03:48,353 but I guess she didn't understand we were dating. 106 00:03:48,387 --> 00:03:50,054 How can she not understand? 107 00:03:50,089 --> 00:03:51,222 I don't know! 108 00:03:51,256 --> 00:03:54,398 I said you were my boo, my fly girl, my fine shorty. 109 00:03:54,694 --> 00:03:56,646 I don't know how much clearer I could have been. 110 00:03:56,741 --> 00:03:58,329 So, is she gonna hate me? 111 00:03:58,364 --> 00:03:59,364 [Sucks in air] 112 00:03:59,398 --> 00:04:00,898 I really would love to say no here. 113 00:04:01,805 --> 00:04:04,168 [Scoffs] Well, maybe it won't be tha bad. 114 00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:06,386 I mean, once she meets you at the dinner, I'll bet... 115 00:04:06,428 --> 00:04:08,906 No. No way. Now that I know this, I can't meet your mom 116 00:04:08,941 --> 00:04:10,842 for the first time at a graduation dinner. 117 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:11,943 It's too much pressure. 118 00:04:11,977 --> 00:04:14,112 What if I set up a casual hang at my place? 119 00:04:14,146 --> 00:04:16,447 Then you can meet her in a controlled setting! 120 00:04:16,482 --> 00:04:18,583 Yeah, that's good. I'll bring her a lemon cake. 121 00:04:18,617 --> 00:04:20,251 Everybody loves lemon cake, right? 122 00:04:20,285 --> 00:04:22,687 [Sucks in air] I don't. 123 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,155 I wouldn't. 124 00:04:24,189 --> 00:04:25,857 Mnh-mnh. 125 00:04:27,025 --> 00:04:28,493 [Door opens, closes] 126 00:04:28,527 --> 00:04:31,712 There he is, Mr. Valedictorian. 127 00:04:31,765 --> 00:04:32,797 How's your big speech coming? 128 00:04:32,831 --> 00:04:34,999 Great. I thought I'd thank all the people at school 129 00:04:35,033 --> 00:04:36,234 for being so nice. 130 00:04:36,268 --> 00:04:37,969 I have a question for you. 131 00:04:38,716 --> 00:04:40,271 If Lincoln gave the Gettysburg Address 132 00:04:40,305 --> 00:04:42,373 and just said things were "nice," 133 00:04:42,408 --> 00:04:44,626 do you think we'd still have slavery? 134 00:04:44,964 --> 00:04:45,676 What? 135 00:04:45,711 --> 00:04:48,780 Speeches have the ability to effect real change. 136 00:04:48,814 --> 00:04:50,047 Lincoln knew that. 137 00:04:50,082 --> 00:04:51,682 Guess who else knows that. 138 00:04:51,717 --> 00:04:53,684 - Diane Keaton? - Me. 139 00:04:53,719 --> 00:04:56,020 I am known for my inspirational speeches. 140 00:04:56,054 --> 00:04:57,355 So let's go out there 141 00:04:57,389 --> 00:04:59,757 and let's win one for Charlie Sheen's brother! 142 00:04:59,792 --> 00:05:03,227 Ladies, if we build it, they will come! 143 00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:04,295 [All cheering] 144 00:05:04,329 --> 00:05:07,198 As we approach Eddie's third birthday, 145 00:05:07,232 --> 00:05:09,834 we should get him the greatest gift of all... 146 00:05:09,868 --> 00:05:11,569 A human sibling. 147 00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,571 Jessica: Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. 148 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:14,639 I'm already pregnant. 149 00:05:14,673 --> 00:05:16,407 Wh... 150 00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:19,448 There is great power in public speaking, 151 00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:21,112 if you know how to harness it. 152 00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:22,413 Can you teach me? 153 00:05:22,448 --> 00:05:23,965 I'd be honored. 154 00:05:24,249 --> 00:05:25,702 But I'm busy. 155 00:05:26,318 --> 00:05:27,919 Of course I will! See? 156 00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:30,321 In two sentences, I made you feel three feelings... 157 00:05:30,389 --> 00:05:31,756 Disappointment and elation. 158 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,057 What's the third feeling? 159 00:05:33,091 --> 00:05:34,459 Curiosity. 160 00:05:43,317 --> 00:05:46,517 _ 161 00:05:46,672 --> 00:05:47,638 What do you mean? 162 00:05:47,803 --> 00:05:49,005 _ 163 00:05:49,153 --> 00:05:52,188 _ 164 00:05:52,303 --> 00:05:53,111 _ 165 00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:54,278 I don't have a suit. 166 00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:56,314 I have two blazers, three khakis, 167 00:05:56,348 --> 00:05:58,416 and six shirts that I mix and match 168 00:05:58,450 --> 00:06:00,251 to create 36 different looks. 169 00:06:00,449 --> 00:06:02,758 _ 170 00:06:02,940 --> 00:06:05,156 Isn't a suit complicated to make? 171 00:06:05,190 --> 00:06:06,858 [Chuckles] 172 00:06:07,031 --> 00:06:09,373 _ 173 00:06:09,521 --> 00:06:11,846 _ 174 00:06:11,964 --> 00:06:13,097 Hmm. 175 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,501 I wanted to play video games, 176 00:06:16,535 --> 00:06:18,803 but Alison insisted we have a study date. 177 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:21,639 I guess being with Alison just makes me a better student. 178 00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,107 Does she do C.L.C.? 179 00:06:23,141 --> 00:06:24,942 Uh, no. 180 00:06:24,977 --> 00:06:27,078 Hmm. 181 00:06:27,112 --> 00:06:29,113 - What are you writing? - Nothing. 182 00:06:30,148 --> 00:06:32,500 Can I talk to you for a second? 183 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,755 [Sighs] Try not to be too judgmental about Eddie's girlfriend. 184 00:06:37,789 --> 00:06:39,390 I know you want him to date a Chinese girl, 185 00:06:39,424 --> 00:06:40,491 but this is Florida. 186 00:06:40,526 --> 00:06:42,059 His options are limited. 187 00:06:43,729 --> 00:06:45,963 Well, then he should wait until he goes to college. 188 00:06:45,998 --> 00:06:48,497 He could find a Chinese girl at Northwestern. 189 00:06:49,001 --> 00:06:50,134 Georgia Tech. 190 00:06:50,168 --> 00:06:51,135 [Doorbell rings] 191 00:06:51,169 --> 00:06:53,538 - Oh! - Right on time. 192 00:06:53,572 --> 00:06:56,774 That's another thing about Alison... so punctual. 193 00:07:00,479 --> 00:07:02,613 Um... 194 00:07:03,815 --> 00:07:06,884 Oh, hi! You must be Mr. and Mrs. Huang. 195 00:07:06,919 --> 00:07:08,580 I'm Alison. 196 00:07:09,187 --> 00:07:11,622 Eddie, you didn't tell me your girlfriend was Chinese. 197 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,891 Oh! 198 00:07:14,441 --> 00:07:17,695 I almost lost my balance from joy. 199 00:07:22,183 --> 00:07:25,226 Hi. Um, have we met before? Because I thought... 200 00:07:25,285 --> 00:07:27,601 Oh, yes. We met at the Fall Ball. 201 00:07:27,684 --> 00:07:29,188 Nice to see you again, Mr. Huang. 202 00:07:29,222 --> 00:07:30,489 Please, please. Come in. 203 00:07:30,523 --> 00:07:34,026 Louis, you didn't tell me Alison was Chinese. 204 00:07:34,060 --> 00:07:36,328 This is the only surprise you've ever given me 205 00:07:36,362 --> 00:07:38,073 that I have liked. 206 00:07:38,565 --> 00:07:41,867 I'd like to present you with a traditional gift of oranges. 207 00:07:41,901 --> 00:07:43,635 I buy them wholesale. 208 00:07:43,670 --> 00:07:45,237 [Whispering] Yes. 209 00:07:45,271 --> 00:07:47,339 Eddie, shut the door. Shut the door. 210 00:07:47,373 --> 00:07:49,475 Shut the door! Shut the door! 211 00:07:51,578 --> 00:07:53,869 [Normal voice] I'll just put these in the kitchen. 212 00:07:55,415 --> 00:07:56,748 Who are you? 213 00:07:56,783 --> 00:07:58,884 - Are you Eddie? - Yes. 214 00:07:58,918 --> 00:08:01,320 I'm Audrey, Alison's friend from Youth Orchestra. 215 00:08:01,354 --> 00:08:03,255 Call her. She'll explain everything. 216 00:08:03,289 --> 00:08:06,825 Alison, I have so many questions for you. 217 00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:08,794 Where do you live? Where is your family from? 218 00:08:08,828 --> 00:08:11,396 Well, uh, we live near Thornton Park, 219 00:08:11,431 --> 00:08:13,365 which is right over by... 220 00:08:14,968 --> 00:08:18,038 Um, are you crying? 221 00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:21,006 I've been waiting for you. 222 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,542 Come on. Come on. Let's go. 223 00:08:25,078 --> 00:08:26,745 [Telephone rings] 224 00:08:26,779 --> 00:08:27,946 I'm sorry! 225 00:08:27,981 --> 00:08:29,781 Why is there a Chinese girl here saying she's you? 226 00:08:29,816 --> 00:08:30,949 I freaked out. 227 00:08:30,984 --> 00:08:33,018 All that talk about your mom got in my head, 228 00:08:33,052 --> 00:08:34,319 so I sent my friend Audrey. 229 00:08:34,354 --> 00:08:36,688 She plays second-chair piccolo in orchestra with me. 230 00:08:36,723 --> 00:08:38,991 Eddie, get off the phone! You're being rude! 231 00:08:39,025 --> 00:08:40,759 And lose the bowls on the table. 232 00:08:40,793 --> 00:08:42,594 I'm gonna put out the good chips. 233 00:08:42,629 --> 00:08:44,897 I'm gonna tell her the truth. This is crazy! 234 00:08:44,931 --> 00:08:47,165 No, you can't! She'll hate me even more! 235 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,700 Well, what was your plan? 236 00:08:48,735 --> 00:08:50,536 I didn't have one! I panicked! 237 00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:54,773 Hey, Eddie. Uh, Alison wanted to talk to you. 238 00:08:54,807 --> 00:08:56,900 - That's not Alison. - Whew. 239 00:08:57,247 --> 00:08:58,110 I didn't want to say anything. 240 00:08:58,144 --> 00:09:00,112 I'm usually great with faces. 241 00:09:00,146 --> 00:09:01,079 Me, too. 242 00:09:01,114 --> 00:09:02,281 Do you use the Eyes-Mouth Method 243 00:09:02,315 --> 00:09:03,882 or the Most Prominent Feature? 244 00:09:03,917 --> 00:09:06,084 Both of you, shut your eyes-mouth. 245 00:09:06,119 --> 00:09:07,052 No one cares. 246 00:09:07,086 --> 00:09:08,987 Is that Audrey? Say hi for me. 247 00:09:09,022 --> 00:09:11,223 [Sighs] Alison says hi. 248 00:09:11,257 --> 00:09:12,691 Tell her, "Hi, Al." 249 00:09:12,725 --> 00:09:15,394 Your mom wanted me to tell you to come join us in the kitchen. 250 00:09:15,428 --> 00:09:19,028 She's gonna make dumplings while I quiz you with flashcards. 251 00:09:19,499 --> 00:09:21,300 I have to go deal with this. 252 00:09:21,334 --> 00:09:23,235 Okay, but promise me you won't say anything. 253 00:09:23,269 --> 00:09:25,304 We'll figure something out tomorrow at school. 254 00:09:25,338 --> 00:09:26,238 Fine. 255 00:09:27,895 --> 00:09:29,575 So, quick quesh... 256 00:09:29,609 --> 00:09:30,576 That's not Alison. 257 00:09:30,610 --> 00:09:32,177 She panicked and sent her friend Audrey. 258 00:09:32,211 --> 00:09:34,446 [Chuckles] I knew it wasn't her. 259 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,516 I'm good with faces. I use the Mouth-Chin Method. 260 00:09:37,550 --> 00:09:39,151 [Sighs] 261 00:09:43,496 --> 00:09:44,535 _ 262 00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:46,491 Perfect? Look at this sleeve. 263 00:09:46,526 --> 00:09:48,894 Can we move some of this over here? 264 00:09:49,037 --> 00:09:50,703 _ 265 00:09:50,797 --> 00:09:53,432 That's not even a real ruler. That's Bubble Tape. 266 00:09:56,769 --> 00:09:58,904 [School bell rings] 267 00:09:58,938 --> 00:10:02,140 Well, I hope you're happy. My mom loves you. 268 00:10:02,175 --> 00:10:03,398 She does?! 269 00:10:03,509 --> 00:10:06,069 Oh. Right. That's not good. 270 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:09,848 Having a Chinese girl come to my house and pretend she's you? 271 00:10:09,882 --> 00:10:11,617 This is untenable, dawg! 272 00:10:11,651 --> 00:10:12,784 "Untenable"? 273 00:10:12,819 --> 00:10:14,620 I learned it from Audrey's flashcards. 274 00:10:14,654 --> 00:10:15,587 It was a long night. 275 00:10:15,622 --> 00:10:16,722 I'm sorry. 276 00:10:16,756 --> 00:10:18,991 I just really wanted your mom to like me. 277 00:10:19,025 --> 00:10:21,360 I get it. But we have to come clean. 278 00:10:21,394 --> 00:10:24,296 Come over tonight. We'll tell my mom it was a joke. 279 00:10:24,330 --> 00:10:26,465 I'll introduce you, pop in a movie, 280 00:10:26,499 --> 00:10:28,200 and boom... Problem solved. 281 00:10:28,234 --> 00:10:30,502 A movie? How is that gonna fix anything? 282 00:10:30,536 --> 00:10:31,870 My mom's a huge Denzel fan. 283 00:10:31,904 --> 00:10:34,506 I was saving "Malcolm X" for when I did something really bad, 284 00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:36,208 like turn our van into a low-rider. 285 00:10:36,242 --> 00:10:37,709 But these are desperate times. 286 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:44,149 And now, your valedictorian, 287 00:10:44,183 --> 00:10:46,218 Emery... Emery... Emery... Emery... 288 00:10:46,252 --> 00:10:48,787 Huang... Huang... Huang... Huang. 289 00:10:48,821 --> 00:10:50,589 [Imitates crowd cheering] 290 00:10:53,059 --> 00:10:54,259 That's your cue. 291 00:10:54,293 --> 00:10:55,994 Oh. Great. 292 00:10:56,029 --> 00:10:57,262 Wait. 293 00:10:57,296 --> 00:11:00,298 Where are your visual aids? Your charts? Your props? 294 00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:02,067 I don't have any. [Sighs] 295 00:11:02,101 --> 00:11:04,569 Emery, you don't just speak to people's ears. 296 00:11:04,604 --> 00:11:05,904 You speak to their eyes. 297 00:11:05,938 --> 00:11:08,573 Give me your speech. I'll show you how it's done. 298 00:11:08,608 --> 00:11:09,741 [Clears throat] 299 00:11:09,776 --> 00:11:12,811 "Good afternoon, Palms Elementary School." 300 00:11:12,845 --> 00:11:15,013 I'm sorry. I can't do this. 301 00:11:15,048 --> 00:11:16,481 Dad, that's my speech! 302 00:11:18,051 --> 00:11:19,518 Dad! 303 00:11:21,554 --> 00:11:23,822 I had prepared some remarks, 304 00:11:23,856 --> 00:11:27,626 but instead, I'm going to speak from the heart. 305 00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:31,096 And then the real speech is on your hand. 306 00:11:31,964 --> 00:11:33,398 Ohh. 307 00:11:33,433 --> 00:11:35,333 - That's good. - Mm-hmm. 308 00:11:35,368 --> 00:11:37,769 And you swapped out my speech with the pages you ripped up. 309 00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:40,664 Right? 310 00:11:41,142 --> 00:11:43,121 Hey, what's that alien's name? 311 00:11:48,548 --> 00:11:49,748 You ready? 312 00:11:49,782 --> 00:11:51,016 I'm ready. 313 00:11:51,784 --> 00:11:52,984 Hello, Mother. 314 00:11:53,019 --> 00:11:54,653 - Funny story. - Eddie! 315 00:11:54,687 --> 00:11:57,422 Hi. Your mom called and invited me to play mahjong. 316 00:11:57,457 --> 00:11:59,191 She insisted that I come over. 317 00:11:59,225 --> 00:12:00,258 Insisted. 318 00:12:00,293 --> 00:12:02,928 I love this girlfriend of yours, Eddie. 319 00:12:02,962 --> 00:12:05,230 She never feeds Grandma any good tiles. 320 00:12:05,264 --> 00:12:06,398 [Chuckles] 321 00:12:07,537 --> 00:12:09,813 _ 322 00:12:09,912 --> 00:12:12,567 _ 323 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,072 Who's this? 324 00:12:14,107 --> 00:12:15,574 Hi. I'm, uh... 325 00:12:15,608 --> 00:12:18,009 She's, uh, selling Girl Scout cookies. 326 00:12:18,044 --> 00:12:19,144 Cookies? Cookies? 327 00:12:19,178 --> 00:12:20,512 Nope, we're all good. 328 00:12:20,546 --> 00:12:23,515 Thanks, stranger! See yourself out! Byebye! 329 00:12:25,318 --> 00:12:26,618 Eddie! 330 00:12:27,677 --> 00:12:30,155 You didn't ask Alison if she wanted cookies. 331 00:12:30,189 --> 00:12:31,356 Alison? 332 00:12:31,390 --> 00:12:33,859 Do you have anything lemon? 333 00:12:33,893 --> 00:12:35,660 [Gasps] I love lemon. 334 00:12:41,831 --> 00:12:42,865 Hi, Eddie. 335 00:12:42,899 --> 00:12:45,000 Change your mind about those Thin Mints? 336 00:12:45,034 --> 00:12:47,469 I'm sorry. I just... My mom looked so happy. 337 00:12:47,503 --> 00:12:49,571 I don't know. I just panicked. 338 00:12:49,606 --> 00:12:51,306 - Where's Audrey? - Still at my house. 339 00:12:51,341 --> 00:12:52,975 I said I had to go to the bathroom, 340 00:12:53,009 --> 00:12:54,576 turned on the water, and crawled out the window. 341 00:12:54,611 --> 00:12:55,844 [Water running] 342 00:12:55,879 --> 00:12:57,145 Eddie, hurry up! 343 00:12:57,180 --> 00:12:59,715 Are you in line for the bathroom? 344 00:12:59,749 --> 00:13:01,383 Yeah. I like waiting in line. 345 00:13:01,417 --> 00:13:03,452 It's like being in a really slow parade. 346 00:13:03,486 --> 00:13:05,954 You know what I hate? Line cutters. 347 00:13:05,989 --> 00:13:07,256 You know who they're really cutting? 348 00:13:07,290 --> 00:13:08,724 - Themselves. - Themselves. 349 00:13:08,758 --> 00:13:10,025 Evan: Come on! [Knocking on door] 350 00:13:10,059 --> 00:13:11,860 [Whimpering] 351 00:13:13,963 --> 00:13:16,798 Your mom's so happy with Audrey. I'd just be a disappointment. 352 00:13:17,045 --> 00:13:19,301 I guess tomorrow at your brother's graduation, 353 00:13:19,335 --> 00:13:21,837 we just pretend we don't know each other. 354 00:13:21,871 --> 00:13:24,106 Yeah, I guess. 355 00:13:25,208 --> 00:13:26,508 Well, I better get going. 356 00:13:26,542 --> 00:13:28,844 If the water bill's too high, we all get grounded. 357 00:13:36,486 --> 00:13:37,920 What a crowd. 358 00:13:37,954 --> 00:13:40,255 I don't know which I like more, the pomp or the circumstance. 359 00:13:46,262 --> 00:13:47,396 Alison! 360 00:13:47,430 --> 00:13:49,298 Alison! 361 00:13:49,332 --> 00:13:52,401 [Sighs] We need to get your girlfriend some pork bone stew, 362 00:13:52,435 --> 00:13:53,402 help her hearing. 363 00:13:53,436 --> 00:13:54,636 Alison! 364 00:13:54,671 --> 00:13:56,271 Hey. 365 00:14:04,047 --> 00:14:05,147 Hi, Eddie. 366 00:14:05,181 --> 00:14:06,281 Hi, Reba. 367 00:14:06,316 --> 00:14:08,150 I heard about your dating mess. 368 00:14:08,184 --> 00:14:09,751 It's the talk of the band. 369 00:14:09,786 --> 00:14:11,887 Sounds like the whole thing's FUBAR. 370 00:14:12,855 --> 00:14:14,523 Fudged Up Beyond All Reba. 371 00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:16,458 Have a nice summer. 372 00:14:16,492 --> 00:14:17,726 You, too. 373 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,529 Hopefully when I get back, you'll have realized... 374 00:14:20,563 --> 00:14:23,699 ♪ Those girls are poison ♪ 375 00:14:23,733 --> 00:14:26,468 ♪ Never trust a big butt and a smile ♪ 376 00:14:26,502 --> 00:14:28,270 Poison. 377 00:14:28,304 --> 00:14:30,105 Poison. 378 00:14:31,227 --> 00:14:32,874 Reba. 379 00:14:33,519 --> 00:14:35,744 Why aren't you wearing your new suit? 380 00:14:35,778 --> 00:14:36,945 Good question. 381 00:14:36,980 --> 00:14:39,581 Why aren't I wearing my new suit, Grandma? 382 00:14:39,717 --> 00:14:42,685 _ 383 00:14:42,885 --> 00:14:49,891 Welcome to the Palms Elementary School class of 1996 graduation! 384 00:14:49,926 --> 00:14:52,194 [Applause] 385 00:14:52,228 --> 00:14:54,896 And before we begin, a quick announcement. 386 00:14:54,931 --> 00:14:57,599 Uh, Billy Sanders, I've just been informed 387 00:14:57,633 --> 00:15:01,770 that you got a "D" on your last art project, so... 388 00:15:07,910 --> 00:15:09,811 You let us down, Billy! 389 00:15:09,846 --> 00:15:12,447 [Door closes] Okay! 390 00:15:12,482 --> 00:15:18,653 Please give a warm welcome to your valedictorian, Emery Huang! 391 00:15:18,688 --> 00:15:21,356 Yeah, that's my boy! [Laughs] 392 00:15:21,391 --> 00:15:23,058 [Applause] 393 00:15:23,092 --> 00:15:24,259 Good afternoon. 394 00:15:25,895 --> 00:15:30,999 Fourscore and three semesters ago... 395 00:15:32,635 --> 00:15:35,270 I'm sorry. I can't do this. 396 00:15:35,304 --> 00:15:36,705 [Audience murmuring] 397 00:15:36,739 --> 00:15:38,073 He's doing it. 398 00:15:38,107 --> 00:15:39,474 I'd prepared a speech, 399 00:15:39,509 --> 00:15:42,277 but instead I wanted to speak from the heart. 400 00:15:42,311 --> 00:15:44,546 So, I'd like to take a few moments 401 00:15:44,580 --> 00:15:46,014 to recognize the people 402 00:15:46,049 --> 00:15:49,184 who helped me become the person I am... my family. 403 00:15:50,553 --> 00:15:52,421 My dad for giving me the confidence 404 00:15:52,488 --> 00:15:53,688 to come out of my shell. 405 00:15:54,472 --> 00:15:55,724 My grandma. 406 00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:59,072 _ 407 00:15:59,262 --> 00:16:01,163 [Chuckles] 408 00:16:01,197 --> 00:16:02,864 And my little brother, Evan, 409 00:16:02,899 --> 00:16:05,700 for teaching me that class comes in all sizes. 410 00:16:05,735 --> 00:16:06,701 [Gasps] 411 00:16:06,736 --> 00:16:09,104 He said my name in the microphone. 412 00:16:09,138 --> 00:16:10,238 I'm famous! 413 00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:12,340 And my mom for always wanting what's best 414 00:16:12,375 --> 00:16:14,643 for me and my brothers. 415 00:16:14,677 --> 00:16:15,777 And my brother Eddie 416 00:16:15,812 --> 00:16:18,280 for being honest and always speaking his mind. 417 00:16:19,949 --> 00:16:22,951 And thank you to everyone else who supported me. 418 00:16:22,985 --> 00:16:25,620 You've all been real, real nice. 419 00:16:25,655 --> 00:16:27,089 [Applause] 420 00:16:27,123 --> 00:16:28,457 [Sighs] 421 00:16:29,892 --> 00:16:31,783 - That's not my girlfriend! - I don't like your girlfriend! 422 00:16:32,228 --> 00:16:36,264 And now a medley by the Orlando Youth Orchestra. 423 00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:38,667 [Orchestra playing] 424 00:16:38,701 --> 00:16:40,635 Wait. I thought you loved my girlfriend. 425 00:16:40,670 --> 00:16:42,287 She's perfect. 426 00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:45,807 I just didn't realize how boring that would be. 427 00:16:45,842 --> 00:16:46,908 She's like tofu. 428 00:16:46,943 --> 00:16:49,478 She absorbs flavor. Got none of her own. 429 00:16:50,379 --> 00:16:53,281 You need someone with more personality, Eddie. 430 00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,150 Like you. 431 00:16:55,184 --> 00:16:56,384 I'm confused. 432 00:16:56,419 --> 00:16:58,520 She's not your girlfriend? 433 00:16:58,554 --> 00:17:00,055 No. The real Alison freaked out 434 00:17:00,089 --> 00:17:02,457 when I told her you wanted me to date a Chinese girl. 435 00:17:02,492 --> 00:17:06,194 I suppose you don't have to date someone who is Chinese. 436 00:17:06,229 --> 00:17:10,132 She just has to act Chinese in here. 437 00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:14,569 So, if the girl I met isn't your girlfriend, then who is? 438 00:17:14,604 --> 00:17:16,438 The one playing 2Pac on the piccolo. 439 00:17:16,472 --> 00:17:19,141 ["California Love" playing] 440 00:17:22,745 --> 00:17:24,980 First-chair piccolo. 441 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,072 Whoo! [Applause] 442 00:17:34,266 --> 00:17:37,993 And now I'd like to introduce our next valedictorian, 443 00:17:38,027 --> 00:17:39,694 Chica Cohen. 444 00:17:39,729 --> 00:17:41,196 [Applause] 445 00:17:41,230 --> 00:17:43,165 Next valedictorian? 446 00:17:43,199 --> 00:17:45,467 At our school, everyone is valedictorian 447 00:17:45,501 --> 00:17:47,269 so they don't feel left out. 448 00:17:47,303 --> 00:17:49,415 They're pal-edictorians. 449 00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,074 Hi, Mom! 450 00:17:53,142 --> 00:17:55,143 Oh, oh, that's... That's the light, dear. 451 00:17:55,178 --> 00:17:56,611 Oh, okay. 452 00:17:56,646 --> 00:17:59,147 Hi, Mom! It's me... Chica! 453 00:17:59,182 --> 00:18:01,783 ♪ California 454 00:18:01,817 --> 00:18:04,252 ♪ Knows how to party 455 00:18:04,287 --> 00:18:07,255 ♪ California knows how to party ♪ 456 00:18:07,290 --> 00:18:09,558 So, in order to make a good first impression, 457 00:18:09,592 --> 00:18:11,660 you used a Chinese double... Very clever. 458 00:18:11,694 --> 00:18:14,296 - It's exactly what I would have done. - Thank you. 459 00:18:14,330 --> 00:18:16,364 So, how did you get so good at piccolo? 460 00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:17,265 Practice. 461 00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:18,667 To be honest, I started playing 462 00:18:18,701 --> 00:18:21,469 because there are a lot of unclaimed piccolo scholarships. 463 00:18:21,504 --> 00:18:22,671 Yes. 464 00:18:22,705 --> 00:18:25,307 Mom, are you ever gonna let me talk to Alison? 465 00:18:25,341 --> 00:18:27,742 Be a gentleman and go get us some more chicken. 466 00:18:28,554 --> 00:18:31,346 You have to start training them young. 467 00:18:31,380 --> 00:18:32,714 Okay. 468 00:18:33,419 --> 00:18:35,884 Eddie, I'm gonna need you to take it easy on the thighs. 469 00:18:35,918 --> 00:18:37,624 We're running low. 470 00:18:41,591 --> 00:18:44,929 I'm sorry, but the good food is for graduates only. 471 00:18:47,830 --> 00:18:49,631 Thanks for everything, Dad. 472 00:18:49,665 --> 00:18:51,299 Your "tearing up the speech" trick worked. 473 00:18:51,334 --> 00:18:52,567 No, it didn't. 474 00:18:52,602 --> 00:18:54,869 I could tell you weren't reading the speech off your hands. 475 00:18:54,904 --> 00:18:56,338 I'm sorry. 476 00:18:56,372 --> 00:18:58,673 In the moment, everything I'd written just didn't feel right. 477 00:18:58,708 --> 00:19:00,208 I had to use my own words. 478 00:19:00,243 --> 00:19:02,110 An off-the-cuff emotional speech? 479 00:19:02,144 --> 00:19:03,979 Even Lincoln had to write his down. 480 00:19:04,013 --> 00:19:05,180 You're a natural. 481 00:19:05,214 --> 00:19:07,882 Hmm. Maybe one day you could teach me something. 482 00:19:07,917 --> 00:19:09,150 I'd be honored. 483 00:19:10,052 --> 00:19:11,286 But I'm busy. 484 00:19:12,088 --> 00:19:14,122 - See what I did there? - I like what you did. 485 00:19:15,858 --> 00:19:16,925 Hi, Emery. 486 00:19:16,959 --> 00:19:19,094 Thanks for inviting me to be your date. 487 00:19:19,128 --> 00:19:20,362 Thanks for saying yes. 488 00:19:20,396 --> 00:19:22,330 We have so many shared interests. 489 00:19:22,365 --> 00:19:24,022 Is that chicken? 490 00:19:32,508 --> 00:19:34,042 Jessica. 491 00:19:35,177 --> 00:19:37,879 She's really going to town on those thighs. 492 00:19:40,816 --> 00:19:45,220 Why can't Emery find a nice girlfriend, like Eddie did? 493 00:19:49,692 --> 00:19:51,693 Grandma? What's going on? 494 00:19:51,727 --> 00:19:53,461 [Frank Sinatra's "Come Fly With Me" plays] 495 00:19:54,764 --> 00:19:56,765 ♪ Come fly with me 496 00:19:56,799 --> 00:20:00,535 ♪ Let's fly, let's fly away 497 00:20:01,537 --> 00:20:05,407 ♪ If you can use some exotic booze ♪ 498 00:20:05,441 --> 00:20:08,677 ♪ There's a bar in far Bombay 499 00:20:08,711 --> 00:20:10,512 ♪ Come fly with me 500 00:20:10,546 --> 00:20:14,449 ♪ Let's fly, let's fly away 501 00:20:15,228 --> 00:20:17,852 M'Mommy, shall we hit the buffet? 502 00:20:18,329 --> 00:20:19,587 Nice suit. 503 00:20:27,548 --> 00:20:30,183 I can't believe I've never seen "Malcolm X." 504 00:20:30,251 --> 00:20:32,185 You know, in ancient Roman times, 505 00:20:32,219 --> 00:20:34,320 his name would have been Malcolm 10. 506 00:20:34,355 --> 00:20:36,823 Denzel looks good in glasses. 507 00:20:36,857 --> 00:20:39,192 Is there a Mrs. X? 508 00:20:39,226 --> 00:20:40,393 Yeah. Betty Shabazz. 509 00:20:40,428 --> 00:20:42,128 She went on to become an educator 510 00:20:42,163 --> 00:20:43,329 and civil rights leader. 511 00:20:43,364 --> 00:20:44,898 Oh. 512 00:20:44,932 --> 00:20:47,367 Malcolm X sure can give a speech. 513 00:20:47,401 --> 00:20:50,904 Malcolm X wasn't afraid to bring the hammer down 514 00:20:50,938 --> 00:20:53,306 when he saw a great injustice. 515 00:20:53,340 --> 00:20:55,542 Which brings me to the water bill. 516 00:20:55,576 --> 00:20:56,443 [Gasps] 517 00:20:56,477 --> 00:20:57,844 - Go! Run! - Go, go! 518 00:20:57,878 --> 00:21:00,113 So, I was looking at it... 519 00:21:00,447 --> 00:21:03,201 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 36080