All language subtitles for Cain and Mabel (1936) (Colorized)

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Miss? Miss!

Miss!

Say!

Who do you think you are,
Major Bowse?

Listen! I've been here
20 minutes!

Well, don't expect
any sympathy from me.

I've been here
two years.

What do you want?

What I can't have.
I'm on a vegetable diet.

Well, you'd better be careful
about snapping

at people that way, then,
or you won't be.

Say! don't you know
that's bad luck?

What are you doing it
for, then?

To (?) the Empire State Building.

Having a fall is the only thing
had happening to me this week.

This will fix it up.
I'm committing suicide.

Oh, luck like that
can't hold out forever.

Neither can I.

Young lady,
young lady!

Yes, sir?
Yes, sir?

I ordered a spinach
omelet, understand?

This don't look
much like it!

All right.
I'll take them back.

Thanks.

How do they look?

I've seen Greta Garbo
and the Mona Lisa,

but those are the most
beautiful eyes

I've ever looked into,
but I didn't order it.

I know, but I thought you might
as well get some wear out of them.

You don't know how astonished my
stomach's going to feel.

Lose your job?

Oh, no, no! I was just thrown out
of the office so fast,

I forgot to take it
with me.

Aw, you'll get another.

I don't know where.

I've been fired from
every newspaper in town.

I'm too good
reporter for them.

Why, I can cover a bonfire

and make it sound
like the Chicago fire.

But do they call me
the Emerson of the press?

No! they call me
"that lying Reilly."

Well, can't you
stop it?

Well, I was going all right

till I covered
the Van Gluck wedding

and came to the part about the
minister kissing the bride.

I guess I must have built
it up a little too much,

because the reverend's
wife divorced him

and named the bride
his corespondent.

You ought to be a publicity man,
not a reporter.

Publicity.

Publicity!

That's it!

At last, I heard my call!

May I ask
the meaning of this?

Certainly,
Mr. George.

The eggs were
a turn-back.

So I thought,
instead of throwing them away,

he might as well
have them,

seeing as how
he was hungry.

I don't mind the two
measly eggs, miss O'Dare,

but I won't have you
feeding tramps in here.

Say, see here!
I resent that!

Very well, then.
You're not a tramp.

Oh, it isn't me.
It's what you said about them eggs.

If the hens that laid them
knew they were in this place,

they'd have the parent- teachers
association close the joint!

All right, all right!
Just sit down and eat them

without any more
disturbance.

All right!

Of course, miss O'Dare,
you'll be charged for this!

OK.

Hey! No dame is going to be
in S.E.R.A. for me, see?

Please, mister,
have a heart!

I need this job.

It's all right, little girl.
I'll take care of this.

I don't suppose you
realize, my good man,

that you're talking
to Aloysius K. Reilly-

the public relations
counsel. I thought not!

And you know what I'm going to
do to impress it on your mind?

You're fired!

Play your ace.

Go to the door.

Mabel,
what are you doing home this time of day?

I met a genius.

Mr. Reilly, my aunt.

How do you do,
Mr. Reilly?

Glad to know you.

This is Mr.
Charles Fendwick.

Call him Chuck.

Delighted to have
the pleasure, sir.

Hiya, Chuck.

Say, where are
the want ads?

You haven't lost that
splendid position?

Not, uh, not fired?
- Yes.

What happened?

Oh, nothing much.

I just tried to hide
a couple of eggs.

Hide eggs?

What did you think you
were-the Easter bunny?

No. but when sir Walter Reilly
here takes off his coat,

it isn't to soak up a mud puddle,
like a gentleman.

It's to soak a manager.

So, sir,
you are the cause

of all this trouble
that so, uh...

gastronomically
concerns all of us?

Put down the skull,
Hamlet.

Everything's going
to be all right.

I'll get her another job,
and a better one, too.

Just what can you do, kid?

Just what I was doing
when you first saw me.

Yeah, that's what
makes it hard.

Now, if you could only sing or
dance or juggle or something,

I could fix it up
like that.

Jake Sherman's putting on a show.
- Do you know Jake Sherman?

Couldn't be closer to him
if I was his siamese brother.

Then she works.
Mabel can dance.

I've been teaching her steps ever
since she was a little nipper.

Sister,
with Aloysius K. Reilly behind you,

the name of Mabel O'Dare will
be written in the stars!

Your dances will make Pavlova's
Dying Swan look like a cooked goose!

Get your hat and coat!
we're on our way to fame and fortune!

Are you sure you
know this man, now?

I said so, didn't I?

Yes, but that's what
makes me suspicious.

Anyway, before we go in, I think there's
something that you ought to know.

Aunt Mimi was right when she said that
she taught me all she knew about dancing,

but auntie's got flat feet and I
think it might show up in my work.

Did you ever see anybody
watch a chorus girl's feet?

Come on.

My name's
Aloysius K. Reilly!

Well, don't get sore at me about it.
I wasn't at the christening.

I want to see Mr. Sherman.

Out of curiosity
or on business?

Charity, sister,
pure charity.

Out of friendship,
I'm giving Jake first chance

at destiny's gift
of Terpsichore.

There she stands,
with the feet of Trilby,

the arms
of Isadora Duncan,

the legs
of La Argentina,

and the lure of Thais.

The nose is my own.

Well, I'll try
and get you in, dearie.

Mr. Sherman's awfully busy,
but have a seat.

Ronny, my boy,
you sign that contract

and I guarantee you
that you'll be a bigger star

than you ever were
in your life,

or my name is not
Jake Sherman.

All right.
I'll sign it.

Fine, fine. great.

Just, uh,
sign it right there on the bottom line.

Boy, you could sell
iceboxes in Siberia.

You're telling me?

That's how I earned my
passage money to this country.

No foolin'?

Sure!

You know, when corsets
went out of style,

I sent two boatloads
to China

and I sold them to bandits
for bulletproof vests!

Well, I'll see you
at rehearsal tomorrow.

So long.

Oh, uh, don't be late.

Be there about noon.

3:00.

Is that Mr. Sherman?

Sure.
How are you, Jake?

Well, Jake, old boy!
How are you?

Gee, it's swell to see you.
you remember me, don't you-

Reilly of the Clarion?
That's right!

Jake, for old times' sake, I'm going
to give you the chance of your life.

I want you to meet her.
come here, Mabel.

Miss Mabel O'Dare!

Why-why, it's really
a pleasure to meet

the friend of such an old friend,
miss O'Dare.

You mean you really
know him?

Do I know Jake?

We grew up next door to one another,
didn't we, Reilly?

Uh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's right.

Well, what can I do
for you, Reilly, old boy?

Well, I was just wondering if
you'd give the little lady here

a job in the chorus,
if it isn't too much trouble.

In the chorus?
A friend of yours?

Why, I'll give her
the lead!

The...the lead?

Are you sure
you mean that?

Why, as sure as my
name is Jake Sherman!

Be around at rehearsal
tomorrow at 3:00.

Well, so long,
Reilly, old pal!

Good-bye, Jake, old boy!

Old pal!

So long, so long,
so lon...

There you are, Mabel.
there's nothing to it.

I got it, I tell you! why,
I could sell carnera to singer for a midget!

What's the matter?
You don't seem excited about it.

Something's rotten
in Denmark.

Well, don't look at me.
I never been there. Come on.

Stop, stop, stop!

I've passed the point where
I expect you to be dancers!

All I ask you now is to know
your right foot from your left!

I can remember
when I was a show girl.

So can half the male
population of New York.

Listen, if you ever
lose that voice,

you'll end up
as a ventriloquist dummy's.

You just watch those
feet of yours.

They're so full of bunions now,
it look like dancing on ball bearings.

Hold it! Hold it!

Ronny! Toddy!

Now, will you
give me something?

You're acting like
a couple of amateurs

in a high school
class play!

So you'd like to tell me
how to dance, would you?

Listen, mouse,

I know more about routine
than you'll ever know.

And if you don't like it,
get somebody else.

Listen, young lady,
I'll tell you-

Relax, relax, Milo.

Why don't you learn how to handle
people with artistic temperament?

All right, Toddy. you can
just do your routine.

Then you handle it!
- All right! I will!

All right,
let's have it again.

My good man, tell
Mr. Sherman that I'm here.

Mr. Sherman
don't care.

Say, listen!

I want no more impudence
out of you, my fine friend!

Mr. Sherman's expecting me!

Well,
I'm Mr. Sherman and I'm not expecting you!

Oh, wise guy, huh?
Well, get this!

I grew up with Jake,
and you ain't him.

What? You grew up
with me?

Aw, don't give me that!

You ain't you,
you're somebody else pretending to be him.

Uh...oh. Well,
maybe I'm wrong.

Just a minute.
Hey, Milo.

Hold it!

Come here.

Now, come here. Take a good look.
I just want to be sure.

I know I'm right,
but I want to be sure.

Now, tell me,
who am I?

Jake Sherman.

Are you
absolutely sure?

Well, ain't you?

Well, I thought I was, until this
spook come in and started to haunt me.

Now, quit stalling, will you,
and tell Sherman I'm here?!

This is the girl who's going
to play the lead in the show!

Well, this is
a surprise!

Did you ever see me before?
- No.

Did I ever see you?
- No.

Well, then, I couldn't
promise you a job, could I?

That's right.

There you are.

Because Mr. Sherman did.

Eh-say, now, look!

Get out! Get out,
before I lose my temper and raise my voice!

Hey, sit down, youse!

I've got a job for this doll and
I'm going to see that she gets it!

Jake Sherman promised it
to me personally!

I'm Jake Sherman!
Do you see this theater?

Well, I happen to own it!
And I'm going to give you

just two minutes to get out of here,
and if you don't,

I'm going to have
you thrown out!

I think you're both just a
couple of cheap chiselers!

Why, you...
- Just a minute!

I don't care whether you're Jake
Sherman or the 4 Marx brothers!

But you can't get away
with calling me a chiseler!

Oh, so you're going to make trouble for me,
huh?

No, but don't ask
for any!

I met a man who claimed
to be Jake Sherman.

He told me
I could have a job.

I need that job,
so I'm not leaving here

until I can find out
about it.

You bet we aren't-

The safest thing
that can happen to you

right now is
a case of lockjaw.

Well, what about it?

Now-now,
look, young lady.

Do I look
like the type of man

who goes around
impersonating himself?

Well, I'm not.

I would like very much
to convince you

that I'm me, but I...
You got...

Wait a minute.
Don't tell me. Hey!

Everybody?
Just a minute!

Everybody, look!

Tell me, who am I?

Jake Sherman.

I'm sorry,
Mr. Sherman, that...

I caused you
so much trouble and...

made such a fool
out of myself.

Well, you certainly
did-100%,

less 10 for your
agent there!

You see, uh, somebody
sort of played a joke,

and, well...I'm
the point of it, I guess.

But honest, Mr. Sherman,
even then...

I wouldn't have been
so persistent, only...

well, a job,
any kind of a job

is pretty important
to me right now.

What am I supposed to do?
Stand around while you chat

with every little dame that
wanders in off the street?

Oh, now she comes!

You'll have
to excuse her.

She's a little
temperamental.

Oh, that's all right.

I've been serving ham to the
public myself for years.

I'm through rehearsing for the day,
if it's any interest to you!

What? Wait a minute? "You're through"?
You just started in!

Oh, no.
You kept me waiting just a little too long!

Now, I'm just about sick
and tired of pampering you.

Now,
you get back there and go to work!

You know, you're not
the only heel-beater in the world.

Maybe not, but I'm the only one
that can put this floperoo over.

In fact, you can't
get along without me.

Oh, is that so?
Well, let me tell you something.

The only thing in
show business that I

can't get along without
is the audience!

There's 50,000
other girls in this town

who can hoof as well as you,
and perhaps better!

How many?

100,000!

Then it won't be hard.

What won't be hard?

To find somebody else
to take my place,

because I'm quitting!

Well, now,
that's the best news I've heard today.

You want to quit?
All right.

That suits me.
Go on. Get out.

I am!

Oh, but Toddy!

"Hot Toddy," to you,
pelican pan!

Now what are we going to do?
- I don't know. I lost my temper,

I lost my star and here I am in
the soup-homemade!

Why don't you learn how to
handle temperamental artists?

That's right.
Shut up!

Oh, miss O'Dare?

I'm terribly sorry.

You're a pretty
funny man, aren't you?

Just a fathead.

I pretended
I was you, Jake.

It wasn't her fault.

So you're the mouse
I smelled!

I'm terribly sorry.

It really is the meanest
thing I've ever done,

but honestly, I didn't
realize it at the time.

Forgive me.

Oh, that's all right.
Forget it.

I probably wouldn't
have been any good, anyway.

Wait a minute!
I promised you a chance

and I'm going to see
that you get it.

But the chorus is
all engaged!

Oh, he probably wants her to
play Toddy Williams' part.

No, not unless
she's better.

But if she is,
you want her, don't you?

Well, I certainly do,
but how could she be?

Say, have you ever had
any experience?

Two years in
the Follies Bergere!

The only place I ever
spent two years

was in Champs restaurant,
as a waitress.

A wait-well, now we've got something!
She's a waitress!

Listen, I'm putting on a musical comedy,
not a banquet!

It will only take 5 minutes to prove
how bad or how good she really is.

Can you dance? I mean,
can you really dance?

Well, I...I think so.

Well, there's only
one way to find out.

Just watch this routine. Archie?
Hit the horse teeth. swing it.

Hold it!

You want to try it?

OK, fine. all right, girls.
You can relax.

Come on.
Peel off here and get to work.

All right, Archie.
Hit it.

Milo, I got a hunch.

I'm going to give that gal a
crack at Toddy Williams' part.

You're not on
the level, are you?

I certainly am!

Yeah, whatever.
She's got Pep, she's refreshing,

And she certainly is
a new face.

New face, yeah,
but she's got to dance with her feet!

Well, all right.
Go ahead.

That's your business.
Teach her.

Me? Oh, what have I
done to deserve this?

Hold it! Hold it!

Look, miss O'Dare,
about your feet.

Those are your feet,
aren't they?

Yes.

And I wish
they were yours.

Well, you go on
tomorrow night,

and I'm going to have
this routine correct

if I have to rehearse you
from now till curtain time!

Come on, let's go.

After spending the night
in a boxcar all night

to save enough dough to
give Larry a swell room

before the big
fight, where is it?

Underneath
a bowling alley!

Sounds more like
a rodeo to me.

Climb in, kid.
I'll call the manager.

You just got to stop
that racket, Pop.

If you don't,
the first clinch I get in tomorrow night,

I'll curl up in the champ's
arms and go to sleep.

Give me the manager.

This is Pop Walters-
Larry Cain's manager.

Larry Cain-the guy
that's going to fight

for the heavyweight
championship tomorrow night!

Now, listen, friend-

Larry's got
to have sleep!

And there's so much
noise going on upstairs,

he couldn't get it
without an anesthetic!

I don't know!

Sounds like they're layin' a carpet,
with railroad spikes!

I'm sorry, Mr. Walters,
but I'm afraid we can't do much about it.

Miss Mabel O'Dare is
occupying the suite over you,

and she's opening in a big
Broadway show tomorrow night.

Broadway show, my hat!
What about my boy?

He's got a title, too!

Oh, don't argue.
Get another room.

Now, listen!

You've got to give us
another room!

What? Well, you must
have some room!

An undertakers' convention
stopping here?

Well, all I can say,
brother, is I hope

they didn't bring any
of their homework,

because that dame upstairs
would sure wake them up!

Now, you've got
to give us another room!

Hello?

Hello! Hello!

What did he say?

It's a dame upstairs,
practicing.

Well, what is she-
a bareback rider?

There ain't
no more rooms.

I just got to get
some sleep, Pop!

I couldn't get any here if the
sandman was carrying bricks!

Let's go
to another hotel.

We can't! I spent all
our dough for this room.

Hey! Where you going?

Going up there and ask her
to be a little reasonable.

What's the use of asking
any dame to be reasonable?

Go on back to bed!
She can't keep it up all night.

I'll say she can't.

Will you listen to me?
Go back to bed!

Hold it a minute.

Somebody's
at the door.

Comfortable that way,
isn't it?

Madam, I have the room
right below you.

Well, this is no time of
the night to be neighborly.

Well, I came up
to ask you a question.

Just how am I supposed
to sleep?

On the right side.
The left side cramps the heart.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute!

I think somebody's
at the door.

The pest again!
can't go to sleep.

I suppose we'll have to rock
everybody in the hotel to sleep

before we can get any
work done. I'll get it.

Hey, listen, lady,
I can't sleep.

What am I supposed to do-
make you hot milk?

But I got a fight
tomorrow night!

Well,
you won't have to wait until tomorrow night

if you don't stop
disturbing me!

Disturbing you?
Say, listen, thunderfoot,

you're making my room sound like
a pool hall on Saturday night!

Well, that ought
to make you feel at home!

When I came up here, the thing I
wanted most in the world was sleep.

Now, it's to put you
to sleep!

Well, I'm so tired from dancing
that my knees are sprung,

but I wouldn't stop now if I
had to do it on a picket fence!

Get out!

Who's the guy?
- A prizefighter.

One of those screwy cauliflower farmers,
huh?

Well, he must be
a pretty good one.

His face didn't look like
there'd been much traffic on it.

In fact, uh...

he was rather
nice-looking.

Beware of good-looking
prizefighters.

I knew one once.
He spent so much time on the canvas,

I started thinking
of him as a portrait.

Oh, come on, come on!
Let's get going!

You don't know how lonesome
you make me feel for a tray.

Your eye! A cut!

On the day before
the fight!

What happened?
- That dame upstairs.

You mean she did that?
- Yeah.

With a right or a left?
- No, with a door.

Where you going?
- I'm going upstairs take that joint apart!

Are you nuts?!

You got a fight tomorrow!

Get back in bed
and calm yourself!

Dodo's right, Larry.

Do your fighting
tomorrow.

Now, go back in bed
and forget things.

Don't play
a sucker's game.

It's tomorrow what's important,
not tonight.

Yeah, I guess
you're right.

Won't be so easy
with this eye, will it?

It'll be all right,
but you've got to relax.

OK, OK. Someday
I'll meet that dame,

and when I do, I'll
spank her so tender,

she can sit on a newspaper
and read the headlines!

Did he hurt you?

Did he hurt you?

No, no. I'm sleepy.

I'm warning you!
If I ever meet that dame,

they'll be playing a benefit
for her the next day!

Slow down, slow down!

You're training
for a fight,

not for a race
with cavalcade!

What's the matter
with your wind?

Ah, it's not my wind,
it's my feet.

They're so full
of blisters now,

they're splashing around like
a couple of leaky water tanks.

Come on, come on.
The next time I get in that ring,

I'm going to be
in shape.

You sure were in
great shape the last time.

Every time you yawned
in the clinches,

I thought you was
gonna bite the champ!

Yeah, listen,
the next time I get in that ring

and get a crack at that lug,
I'll hit him so hard

they'll count him
out in hundreds.

OK, but what you
gettin' sore about?

I just happened to
think of that dame.

There's your boy's
percentage, Pop.

Is this all?

That's all-the worst
crowd we've had in years,

despite the fact it was
a championship fight.

This will hardly cover training expenses,
colonel.

It's not my fault, Pop.

I gave it all kinds
of advertising,

but they just won't
come to see Cain fight.

Yeah, I can tell
that from this.

What's the matter
with the boy?

No box-office
personality.

He fights
like he was bored.

The customers want
color-a fighter

that's got glamour both
in the ring and out of it.

Well...I hope the exercise
did him a little good.

That's about all
he'll get out of it.

Now, listen
to these receipts:

Wednesday matinee-
$2,604.

Saturday night-
$608.50.

Now, that's the kind of business
we've been doing.

I'll tell you frankly,
the Ushers are quitting

because they're afraid
to be alone in the dark!

Do you know what
those figures mean?

Do I know? I should know about figures.
I've handled enough models.

It means the women are coming,
but the men aren't.

Now, the matinee did
good business,

but they don't seem
to talk about her.

You got it!
They don't talk about her, and why not?

I'm asking you-
why not?

She hasn't got
any color.

Color?

By color,
I mean glamour.

The magic which will turn her
from a person into a personality.

Oh, you mean give her a past. -No,
the past is yesterday, but what's today?

Tuesday.
- No, the present.

That's what we've got to
give Mabel, a present.

Something the people will
follow from day to day,

something that will get
into the heart of a nation.

He's right, Jake.

So what gets into
the heart of a nation?

Love.

Love.

Hey! All the world loves a lover, right?
Certainly.

If Mabel O'Dare falls in love,
what happens?

She becomes news, right?
Positively.

And when she's news, she's
box office, right? Certainly.

Gentlemen, the whole
thing's solved.

Except she's not
in love with anybody,

and nobody's
in love with her.

Yeah, we got to be
subtle about this.

Now, look, don't tell me there's
anything subtle about love.

You know, I was in the confession
magazine business myself.

Somewhere, someplace in this
town is a man O'Dare can love.

We've got to find
that man!

Hey, you trying to start
a fire around here?

Gentlemen,
I've got it!

Got what?

A man's man!
A man who-

Well, who?

A man who's on
the front page

of every paper
in America today!

A man who's the
ambassador of athletics,

king of the sport world,
the fighting Adonis!

None other than Larry Cain,
heavyweight champion of the world!

The bank is commencin'
to think N.S.F. are my initials!

I can't get you a fight,

and as far as the movies, radio,
and the advertisers are concerned,

you might as well have marinated a
herring that night in the garden.

It's got me up a tree.
- Me, too.

You ought to be-
looking for coconuts.

Well, maybe I haven't got
the lure or something, Pop.

What you haven't got
is glamour.

No, and I don't wear
a beret, either.

You know what I can
do for you?

Yeah-go home.

Take it easy, Larry.
I asked Mr. Reilly to come up here.

He knows publicity.
he's been in a lot of papers.

So have the Katzenjammer kids.

Well, just listen
to him, will ya?

You listen to him.
I'm going to take Dodo

down to the aquarium
and show him to the fish.

But suppose Mr. Reilly has a great idea?
What'll I do?

That's an emergency that
will probably never arise.

Come on, do-

Now, Mr. Reilly,

what you got on your
mind to exploit my boy?

The greatest publicity
break in years,

a plug that's going
to make him famous,

a front-page story that will
hit every sheet in the country!

A sensational tie-up that's gonna...
- Yes, yes, but what is it?

I'm going to make him
fall in love.

Are you riding
in a float,

or are you
bringing me flowers?

You look like
a gangster's funeral.

Some guy sent them
to Mabel.

To me? Who?

Guy by the name of Larry Cain.
Know him?

No.

But just imagine-
being sent flowers.

He's probably some
old coot with removable hair

and an apartment
full of etchings.

He's no such thing.

I-well...he just
couldn't be, that's all.

It would spoil everything.

Larry Cain...

sounds young...

and nice, doesn't it?

Yeah. so does spring lamb,
but it comes awful tough sometimes.

Come in.

Pardon me,
Mr. Reilly,

but you're wanted
on the telephone.

OK, I'll
be right back.

You know...it's sort
of silly of me,

but I'm rather
thrilled.

You're absolutely
right, pal.

I wouldn't tell him,
either.

All he thinks is that he's going
to a show and a nightclub later.

I had a tough enough time
even getting him to do that.

When you bought this thing
in the first place,

you knew you didn't
take a 38.

I know it,
but a 42 was too big.

Why didn't you
get a 40?

I ain't no good
at figures.

Button it.

Having trouble?

It's like trying to get a bunch
of bananas into a kid glove.

Well, you run out
and call a cab.

We don't want to
miss the show.

As far as I'm concerned,
I'd like to miss the whole thing-

the show, the nightclub
and all!

Here, I'll help you
with this.

Listen, I'm gonna
tip you off,

so no cracks.

Larry's going out
to meet a girl.

A dancer.

A dancer?

d Ev'ry summer we go down
to Deauville by the sea d

d Where one can rub
his shoulders with a king d

d Saint Moritz in winter time,
ah, that's the place to be d

d And then to Paris
in the spring d

d Where one can have
his little fling d

d Though Normandy is lovely
in November d

d Somehow, it leaves you
nothing to remember d

d I can't forget the night i
met you down at Coney island d

d Gee, I was proud you picked me
from the crowd at Coney Island d

d And very soon, I proved to you
that my intentions weren't phony d

d It ended d

d In matrimony d

d And now we're eating caviar
instead of macaroni d

d But I recall those picnic
lunches of Bologna with a smile d

d I guess I'm still a hick d

d 'Cause I still get a kick d

d Just lovin' you,
while shovin' through d

d The crowd at Coney Isle d

d I guess
I'm still a hick d

d 'Cause I still
get a kick d

d Just lovin' you,
while shovin' through d

d The crowd
at Coney Isle d

Ladies
and gentlemen,

I want to impress upon you-
we have inside

the world's greatest
wax museum!

d Here's a sight
that's most instructive d

d It's the wax museum d

d These figures look so
lifelike and so real d

d Here's Napoleon
Bonaparte d

d Of course you've
heard of him d

d Hello, there, nap,
how do you feel? d

d And tell me, how's your old bastille?
d

d And there's a lot
of other famous faces d

d Who lived in bygone days
and far-off places d

d Now there's Delilah
and her lover d

d He's that strongman,
Samson d

d If he would eat more
spinach, he'd be stronger d

d And more handsome d

d If thou wouldst
take a walk with me d

d I'll spend on thee
a whole simoleon d

d Napoleon, ha ha! d

You fat little rascal!

d A whole simoleon? d

d We're the
brothers Smith d

d The enemies
of Laryngitis d

d If you would like
a tenor voice d

d Why don't you give
our drops a try? d

d And now d

d Who have
we here? d

d I'm Julius Caesar,
dear d

d Oh, Julius, fancy meeting you
again at Coney Isle d

d Remember
Cinderella? d

d She's the dream of
each romancer d

d I've learned a lot
since then d

d Now I'm a taxi dancer d

d And tell me d

d Who is that
distinguished gentleman d

d Right in
the middle? d

d That's Nero d

d I play hot fiddle d

d And here are all the
peaceful members d

d Of the peace
convention d

d I guess I'm still a hick d

d And I still
get a kick d

d Just lovin' you
while shovin' through d

d The crowd at Coney Isle d

Ladies
and gentlemen...

d I can't forget the night I
met you down at Coney Island d

d Gee, I was proud you picked me
from the crowd at Coney Island d

d And very soon I proved to you
that my intentions weren't phony d

d It ended d

d In matrimony d

d And now we're eating
caviar instead of macaroni d

d But I recall those picnic lunches
of Bologna with a smile... d

That's her!

Sure, it's a her.
I can tell that from here.

No, no, no. I mean, the dame
that dance my head only.

Where you going?
- Anyplace to get away from her.

d Just lovin' you,
while shovin' through d

d The crowd at Coney Isle d

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

This is Byron Young
and his boys,

broadcasting from
the Cosmopolitan club.

Good evening,
mademoiselle, monsieur.

Our reservation,
please.

This way,
please.

Come on, let's go.
it's getting late.

What's your hurry,
champ?

It's only
half-past 1:00.

Sure,
it does you good to be out like this.

You can't tell
a little rela-

Oh, pardon,
monsieur,

I am very sorry,
but I make a mistake.

This table,
it is reserved.

What?

Why, hello!

Miss O'Dare, what a coincidence
that we should have your table.

Now let me introduce
my friends and we'll go.

Not at all,
dear fellow.

It will be too frightfully,
terribly jolly having you join us.

Miss Summer, miss Foy,
and miss Lamont.

How do you do?
Mr. Boulders, Mr. Molligan

and none other than
Mr. Larry Cain.

How do you do,
Mr. Cain?

There's something
about you

that's very
familiar.

Oh, yes,
I remember.

I had tripe
for dinner!

I had ham.

Looks like I'm going
to have some more.

Cut it out, Larry.

Hitting a lady
ain't cricket.

It ain't even pinochle.

No, no, no, now,
if you insist, Mabel.

Well,
there's nothing to do but to accept.

Waiter, another table here,
please.

Ah, listen to that music.
Are we going to let it waste?

Miss Lamont, please.

Miss Summers?

How about you, miss Foy?
- I'd love to.

I always say it's much easier
being disagreeable sitting down.

Shall we?

I suppose I should thank you
for your bouquet of flowers.

They were quite wilted
when they arrived.

Bouquet?

Yes, bouquet.

A bunch of flowers is
a bouquet, Mr. Cain.

Oh, yes, yes- those things you
keep throwing at yourself,

I remember.

Why don't you two get up on the
dance floor and do this to music?

It might be another routine.
You can't tell.

When one is dancing
in a Broadway hit,

one gets so tired
of dancing.

You didn't get so tired when
you danced over me all night.

That's because I
dance on my toes now.

I was dancing
on a heel then.

Oh, so that's what
you call it, is it?

I didn't know.

The man sitting
next to me said,

"I wonder what she's
doing on the stage alone.

She must have thrown
her jockey."

Uh, do you do
anything, Mr. Cain,

Or, uh, are you
just a critic?

Listen, O'Dare,
I won a championship.

Well you may be a
champ to somebody,

but you're just a punching
bag with ears on it to me!

Well, if that galloping you were
doing tonight is called dancing,

then I've seen Russian
ballet at a horse show.

Just a minute, Mr. Cain!
you're talking to a lady!

Listen,
if she's a lady,

Diamond Lil'
could get by as whistler's mother.

You'll have to
apologize for that!

I wouldn't apologize
to her

if I committed mayhem,
arson, and murder on her!

Don't! Don't hit him,
Larry, don't!

All right,
all right,

but I'll knock that tenor
flatter than he sings.

You can't, he's an actor.

If you bust his pan,
he'll lose his job, close his show.

I'll bet you wear glasses
when you're not working.

Never mind my face.
Come on!

Shut up, Ronny. There about sixty people
in that show who need a job if you don't.

What happened?

Nothing, Pop, nothing.
The boys just be boys, that's all.

You're certainly
being charming,

every place
I take you tonight.

Well, then,
take me someplace where this cluck isn't.

Don't you dare
call me a cluck!

Are you going
to stand for this?

I can't hit him.
he won't hit me back.

Well, I can!

Oh, dear.
Oh, what a smack.

Yeah.

Wet smack.

Wait till you read the
papers in the morning.

This story will hit every front
page in the country, Pop.

It will be the great
American love story.

Yeah. sort of like
the civil war, huh?

Ye...

Hello?

Why, hello, Pop.
How are you?

Sure, I've seen
the papers.

Yeah, how's the
champ taking it?

He's right out
of his head,

and so wild,
Frank Buck couldn't bring him back.

Let him rave, Pop.

He got more space
this morning

than he did when
he won the title.

I've given him color.
Well, if he ever lay his hands on another

he'll give her
a couple of colors-

black and blue.

He thinks she put
that stuff in the paper.

Well, so what? He can denied,
but I making an example of himself.

Well, maybe so,

but I got a funny feeling
that something's gonna break.

There it goes.

Say, listen,
I got to hang up.

Dodo's in there
with him, alone,

and I want to save
a piece of him

to send home
to his mother.

Look at it.
Look at it!

I'll bet they've got a marshmallow
sundae named after me right now!

Now, listen, Larry,
you've got to calm down.

This ain't as serious
as you-

Isn't serious?

Playing post office all over
the front page with a dame!

You've got to
remember, champ,

all the world
loves a lover.

Oh, so I've switched
titles, have I?

I'm America's sweetheart
now, am I?

Well, get this-

or I'll wring her neck until the newspapers
won't be able to get a word out of her

without a corkscrew!

Wait till
I get this.

The riot squad is
probably downstairs.

Hello?

Yeah? Who?

Oh, hello, colonel.

Why, yes, colonel,
I think we'd be interested.

That suits us.

Half-past 2:00 in
your office is OK.

So long, colonel.

Who do you think
wants you to sign up?

The Bloomer girls,
probably.

No, colonel Johnson
at the garden.

He wants you to meet
Joe Rita on the 27th.

Me? Climb through the ropes
at the garden after this?

Why, I'd be crowned queen of
the May with 20,000 Pop bottles

before I could get
my gloves on!

But champ!

That's the first
offer we've had!

Hello? Mr. Walters
talking.

Who? Yes.

Oh, well, I couldn't give you
a decision at the moment.

About 5:30
would be very good.

In your office.

OK.

Who was that?

Talksie-walksie
corporation.

They make loveys.

You've heard their
slogan, champ.

"Say I love you
with a breath of spring."

What?

Loveys. you know,
them breath killers.

If you been
eating onions,

all you have to do is
plop one in your clapper,

And you'll blow out
like a violet.

Say, what kind of a diet have
you guys been on, anyway?

Well,
we're going to eat off them for a long time.

They're ready to sign
a deal with you.

For what?

To go on the radio.
It gonna call "the breath of spring".

The breath of spring?

Say, isn't it
bad enough now

without trying to make a
perfume atomizer out of me?

Now, where you suppose he's going?

Well, it ain't after
a package of loveys.

You!
- You cheap dame!

You cheap cad!
Shut up!

Any man who would put slush
like that in the papers

oughtn't to be
a prizefighter.

He ought to be
a chorus boy.

Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute-

"Always have I wanted
to meet the perfect girl."

I never said anything
like that in my life!

If they printed what
I thought of you,

they wouldn't be able to
send it through the mails!

Say, listen, you-
you pug.

If you ever print
anything like that again,

before I get through
with you,

I'll not only have
your title,

but enough of your teeth

to supply all
the elks in Peoria.

I printed? I?

The whole thing
was a lie!

But the biggest one was
calling you a dancer!

And what's the matter
with my dancing?

If you're a dancer,
I'm all wet.

That's right!

Now, listen, Mabel,

before you got
all this publicity,

the show was doing
such a bad business

that the man
in the box office

was playing solitaire
with the tickets

to keep himself
from being lonesome.

But yesterday,
business started to pick up.

Why, the actors outnumber
the audience only 2 to 1.

Be reasonable,
Mabel.

After all,
you don't have to be gaga about the guy.

Just pretend to be.
Kid the public.

If you'll only
put on an act,

the juvenile man on
in a wheelchair!

That's marvelous
for the show,

but what about me?

You're getting paid for being in the show,
aren't you?

Yes, as a dancer,

not a sparring partner

for an egotistical
pug-ugly!

But just think, Mabel, you'll be
on the front page

I don't want to be on the
front page with anybody!

Well, of course,
if you want to be a snob.

Now, Mabel-
Mabel, please,

won't you do
this for me?

If this show flops,
I'm out of show business.

There's only one angel left
that I haven't nicked,

and you don't want me to wait
till judgment day for Gabriel.

But Mr. Sherman,
don't you see?

I hate the man,
after him putting that in the paper.

But he
didn't put it in.

Now we got to
play it up.

Really?

Yes.

Yes.

Nevertheless,
I still hate him!

Oh, now, Mabel-

Now, Mabel, look,
you don't hate me, do you?

No.

You don't hate Ronny.

No.

You don't hate
your aunt Mimi.

No,
of course not.

You don't hate the rest
of the country, do you?

No.

And besides, there's a lot of worse
ways of getting a pain in the neck

than from Larry Cain.

He's right, dear.

Remember your
grandfather Seamus.

He was hung, poor man.

All right, I'll be a good sport.
- Oh, Mabel, I'll never forget you for this.

Neither will
Larry Cain.

No, no, no,
nothing doing, I tell you.

Right now if I got
a smack in the ear,

the newspapers wouldn't
say it was cauliflower.

They'd say
it was gardenia.

That's what that
dame's done for me.

But think of
the publicity value.

Oh, I can see it now,

just as plain as if
it were in print.

"Larry Cain,

the battling Adonis
of the squared circle."

Don't say things
like that.

But what about
your career?

Well, I was
a mechanic once,

I can be a
mechanic again.

Yeah? Well, what about
me and Dodo, kid?

After all, we've gone
hungry so you could eat.

We've spent the last
3 years getting you up

to where
you could cash in,

so we could make
a little, too.

What about us?

Well...

I never
thought of that.

It's playing
the game, Larry.

Yeah. Yeah,
I guess it is.

Then you'll do it?

Yeah, I'll do it.

But that O'Dare dame understands,
this is strictly business.

Aw, sure.
She's interested in another guy.

Yeah? Who?

Why, Ronny Cauldwell,
who plays in the show with her.

Oh, so that's the kind
of a guy she likes, huh?

Ronny Cauldwell.
How do you like that?

A guy that puts makeup
on his face.

Well, it's a lot more comfortable
than adhesive tape and iodine.

Standing room only.

Standing room
is all I can get.

Want to stand,
old boy?

d Sweet music is
the poetry of romance d

d There is no romance
without a song d

d And though it's such a
little thing to do, dear d

d I'll sing to you, dear d

d My whole life long d

d I'll sing you
a thousand love songs d

d And still
they'd seem so few d

d For I need
a thousand voices d

d To tell you
how I love you d

d I've only one heart
to give you d

d One voice to listen,
too d

d So, I'll bring
a thousand love songs d

d And I'll sing
ev'ry one, dear d

d For you d

d L'amour toujours l'amour d

d Love, at last
you've found me d

d Hold me and
hold me always d

d Thrill me and fill
all my days d

d And weave a spell
around me d

d L'amour toujours l'amour d

d Sing to me love's
old, old story d

d Yearning, Bonnie Laurie d

d L'amour toujours l'amour d

d Believe me if all those
endearing young charms d

d Which I gaze on
so fondly today d

d Were to fade by tomorrow
and flee in my arms d

d Thy...
is fading away d

d Thou would still be adored
as this moment thou art d

d Let thy loveliness fade
as it will d

d And around the dear... d

d Each wish of my heart d

d Would... d

d In the shadows that
may come and sing to you d

d La la la la
la la la d

d Let me dream a song
that I can bring to you d

d La la la la
la la la d

d Take me in your arms
and let me cling to you d

d Let me linger long d

d Let me live my song d

d In the winter let me
bring the spring to you d

d La la la la
la la la d

d Let me feel that I
mean everything to you d

d Love's old song
will be new d

d In the shadows when
I come and sing to you d

d Dear, in the shadows d

d When I come and sing
to you d

d I'll sing you
a thousand love songs d

d And still
they'd seem so few d

d For I need
a thousand voices d

d To tell you
how I love you d

d I've only one heart
to give you d

d One voice to listen,
too d

d So, I'll bring
a thousand love songs d

d And I'll sing
ev'ry one, dear d

d For you d

Throw him a kiss.

Hello. just dropped in to see
how the modern Paul and Virginia

were getting along.

Going swimmingly,
I hope.

Yes. On waves of nausea.

Why don't you come in
and make yourself at home?

He's quite
impossible, eh?

Impossible?
Unbelievable.

He's got this swelled
head so bad,

he could wear
a bathtub for a hat.

I'll be glad
when it's over.

Me, too.

You know,
we could have an awful lot of fun playing.

Uh, just so there isn't any mistake,
Ronny,

I never play any games
unless it's for keeps.

Keeps would be
swell for me.

You know something?
No? Then I'll tell you.

Every time
I see you,

you're prettier than I
remember you from last time.

That sounds nice.
What play is it from?

I'm not being a ham, Mabel,
I'm crazy about you.

You're different
from most dancers.

Yeah-
most of them dance.

My knight.

I want to get it over
with and get some sleep.

I've got to stop at
the apartment first.

I didn't have time to change
my clothes before the theater.

All right,
but hurry up.

I must say, I envy you taking
miss O'Dare to supper every evening.

Well, if that makes you envious,
I know a guy in the poultry business

who'd make you positively jealous.
He feeds 2,000 clucks every night

Are you going to start
that cluck business again?

If you are, you're not going
to get away with it this time,

whether I'm
a singer or not!

You're not.

Take the word of a guy
who listen to you 20 nigts in a row.

Come on.

All right-
put it on, put it on.

Get ready to meet
the autograph hounds.

All right?

Yeah.
How do I look?

Like a beaver about to
go to work on a tree.

Here they come!

Hold it! Just a minute, please!

Hold it!
- Just a minute, please!

How about a kiss? -Go ahead Larry.
Get fifty minutes shampoo the thrill.

Did you say
something?

No, I didn't say
a thing.

Well, why don't you?

Well, because I can't
be myself around you.

I wonder how you act
when you are yourself.

You don't have to seem
to be so bored with me.

There are plenty of men who would
like to take me out tonight.

I suppose you'd rather be out
with that Ronny Cauldwell.

I'd rather be out
with anybody but you!

That guy that puts
makeup on his face.

He's a very
nice man.

Let's be honest
about this.

This is just
a publicity stunt.

There isn't a real
thing about it.

And if it were real?

Well, that would be...

Neville arms.

Won't you come up
and wait for me?

Come up? No!

No, Reilly's
waiting for us,

and I'm hungry,
and I got to get home.

I'll only be
a minute.

Well, all right.

It would be much cheaper for you if you
find out what's keeping her.

Wait here.

Yes, sir.

Will you ring miss O'Dare's apartment,
please?

Yes, sir.

Miss O'Dare
doesn't answer.

Well, she's up there,
isn't she?

Yes. I haven't
seen her go out.

Just what do you
think you're doing?

Frying a pork chop.

What's the idea of keeping me
sitting out there waiting?

Well, I'll tell you,
Mr. Cain.

I looked
at the pork chop,

and then I looked
out the window at you,

and I said, "Me,
I'll take the pork chop."

This is going to look awful in print.
- What?

"Prizefighter punches
show girl in nose,"

and that's what's going to happen, too,

because one of the days I'm going to
forget to count 10.

Look, my good woman,
Reilly's waiting dinner for us.

Listen, son,
I've had all of Reilly

and the nightclubs
that I can stand.

So if you want to keep
him company, go ahead.

I'm staying here.

Swell!

Uh, pork chops, huh?

Want one?

Well, uh, I mean,
we got enough?

Certainly.
Get a plate.

You get it.
I'll attend to those.

No, no, no. You'll
splatter yourself.

Don't tell me how to put
a pork chop on a plate!

I used to be
a waitress.

A waitress? You?

Well, what's wrong
with waitress?

You an automat fan
or something?

Well, no,
but somehow or other,

I just can't imagine you
as a waitress, that's all.

Well,
plenty people can.

I'll bet you I could
go out right now

and get a job
waiting on tables

in 5 of the best
restaurants in town.

Well,
for the love of mike.

And I thought you had
a swelled head.

About what?

Well,
I'm a son of a gun.

Never mind the abuse.
get another plate.

O'Dare,
I think I owe you an apology.

All right, go ahead.

Well, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

Shall we shake hands
and make up?

No. I got a better
idea than that.

O'Dare, I wish you weren't
in show business.

So do I. But after all,
a job's a job.

I wish you weren't
a prizefighter.

I'm not really
a prizefighter.

I'm just a mechanic who happened
to have a sock, that's all.

But to tell you the truth,
I'm scared to death

every time I crawl
between the ropes,

and I'm going
to quit it, too.

Oh, you'll never quit as
long as you're a champion.

No? Well, I'll let you
in on a little secret.

That fight next week
is my last one,

and I'm going
to win it, too,

'cause I'm betting everything
I've got in the world on it.

I'm buying my future
with it.

Your future?

Yeah. super service
station over in Jersey.

Oh, it's a pip-
wash rack, machine shop,

the most beautiful
grease pit you ever saw.

I can do the repair work
myself for a while

and get a kid to take care
of the gas and oil.

Then later on, maybe
I can get another one...

and another one
and another one...

3 garages already.
We're doing marvelously, aren't we?

We? You said "we."

Oh, did I?

I guess I was
sort of daydreaming.

Oh, dear.

Maybe, if we're lucky, we can
have a little house, too, huh?

With white
organdy curtains...

Yeah, and a radiobar...
- And everything.

But there's one thing
you must promise me.

Not to bet
on the fight.

You might lose.
It's gambling our happiness.

But I have to.
I need exactly twice what I've got.

Well, I've got
some money.

I saved it out of my salary.
- But that's your money.

Well, we're partners,
aren't we?

I'll tell you what.
We'll get the license

the first thing in the morning. I knew a
guy from Jersey, works with department.

He'll keep it out of
the papers for us.

I'll call for you tomorrow night
after the show, and we'll get married.

Mabel O'Dare, Hoofer,

will be Mrs. Larry Cain,
Hausfrau.

And after the fight,
Mrs. Cain's husband

will be just another
mechanic.

Garage owner,
if you don't mind.

It's going to be
marvelous, isn't it?

It's going to be
our secret.

It's too grand to
share with anybody...

not even
the newspapers.

Promise you won't
tell anybody?

I promise.

The care he takes of it,

you'd think it was a bag of
gumdrops he was working on.

I don't know what's
got into the guy.

I can't tell whether he's
sparring or playing patty-cake.

If he don't
snap into it,

Reed is going to knock him
right out from under his title.

Pop, I think we better go over
to Philly and train there.

The fight's
only a week off.

That's it. That's what's got him-
too much nightclub food.

He's so full
of french pastry,

a good poke in the pantry would
dent him like a tube of toothpaste.

OK, Larry!

Go on over to the club and pack.
We're going to Philly.

We? Oh, no,
you, maybe, not me.

You ought to be there at least
a week before the fight.

You know, sort of
get acclimated.

I'll start worrying about the
fight when the bell rings.

Now, listen, Larry,
this guy Reed's got

a good night's sleep
in both hands,

and if you don't
start training,

he'll put you
in cold storage.

All they have to do,
you know, is to count 10

to change a champ
into a chump.

You've got
a title to defend.

There's something I want to
tell you about that, Pop.

If I hadn't signed for this fight,
I'd take the title

and throw it in the middle
of Madison Square Garden

and let 'em
scramble for it.

And if I win
this fight,

that's what I'm
going to do anyway.

You're crazy.

Maybe, but I'm not
punch-drunk.

I can still hear a bell
ring without trying

to take a swing at
somebody who isn't there,

and I'm going to
keep that way, too.

And another thing. This pan of mine
may not be a work of art,

but I can still wear
it on the street

without somebody trying
to feed it peanuts,

and I'm going
to keep it that way.

What are you talking about? -About the
fight I'm not going to do after this scrap.

See you later.
I got a date.

What do you suppose
happened to the guy?

Tommy must have sent him
a set of Shakespeare.

Hey, Pop, a mug by the name
of Reilly just called, said for you

to drag it over to Jake's Sherman office
right away, said it's important.

What do you suppose
he wants?

Well, if I know Reilly,

he's probably trying
to run the champ

for president of the
freshman class at Vassar.

So they're going to get married,
buy a garage.

She's walking out of the show,
he's hanging up the gloves.

And as far as the rest
of us are concerned,

the line forms
behind the eightball.

So that's the reason.

My poor creditors.

The way him and
Mabel gets along,

he might as well
marry Reed.

He's only got to go
10 rounds with him.

With a horse,
it's locoweed,

and with a dame,
it's orange blossoms.

One whiff, and
they go off their nut.

Just publicity, huh?
Only a joke, huh?

Just when I'm going
to cash in on the boy,

this beautiful thing
comes into his life

and kicks me
right in the puss.

Why? Why does
a nice girl like her

have to get married,
anyway?

The girl had a future
until you came along.

What's she got
with a prizefighter?

Garage mechanic.

With a garage mechanic.
Thank you.

Nothing but
a free valve grind.

Ah! just as I thought...

A herd of turncoats,
pharisees, and philistines!

Hey! are any of them things
a reflection on my family?

Cast the first stone,
sneer at the steamboat,

jeer at the Wright brothers...
then eat your words.

I have the thought that
will be the pillar of smoke

which will lead us
out of our dilemma,

the column of fire to
which we'll port our helm.

Get around to saying something,
will you?

All right.
Let me ask you one question:

What do Cain
and Mabel hate?

Publicity.

Right. and what
would they think

if this story broke the papers,
the papers made fun of it,

and they didn't know where
the story came from?

Why, they'd think...

They'd think that the
other one broke the story.

And Larry would
get sore...

And Mabel,
seething...

And the wedding
would be off.

Simple, isn't it,
when you have that divine touch.

That saves
a great champion.

And a great show.

And my 15 bucks a week.

But it's sort of tough
on the kids.

Get out from behind those.
I know you.

May I come in?

Well,
I hope to tell you.

You know, I don't
think we're alone.

Have you got the license? And the ring?
- Yep.

And the minister?
- Yeah, but not with me.

Look, I'll pick you up after the show,
take you over to Jersey,

and before you can
say "Mabel O'Dare,"

you'll be
Mrs. Larry Cain.

Mrs. Larry Cain.
- Yeah, but Mrs. Larry Cain

isn't going to be dancing
in any musical comedy.

Of course not.
It would take too much time away

from being
Mrs. Larry Cain.

Don't say that
so fast.

Say it slower so you
understand what it means...

because Mrs. Larry Cain is not going
to be wife of prizifighter,

but the owner of the
best garage in Jersey...

who's got to have
his dinner on time

and mechanic's soap
in the bathroom.

If you think that
you're going to wash

your greasy hands
in the bathroom,

you've got
another thing coming.

You'll wash
in the kitchen sink.

Yes, ma'am.

Isn't it going
to be wonderful?

Hey,
aren't you rushing things a little?

Come on, let's get
out of here.

Jake! Here you are, boy,
and hot off the press!

Reilly,
what would happen

if you ever wrote
a true story?

Take it in to her.

Oh, no.
That's your job...

And the best
of luck.

Come in!

Hello, Cottontop.
- Hello.

Hello, Mimi.
- Hello.

Mabel! You never look better in you life
than you were tonight, old goldilocks.

Thank you,
kind sir.

Oh, uh, Mimi...

Have you, uh...
have you seen the paper?

Nope.

See you later,
my little artichoke.

All right,
my Spanish onion.

Hello, Ronny.
- Hi, Jake.

May I come in?

Yes.

You got to hand it
to Reilly.

He certainly gets it
in the paper.

What's he done now-
got me on a postage stamp?

Haven't you read it? -No.
-Great stuff of New Yorker.

All about you and
Cain going to elope

to escape the gaudy
glamour of Broadway

and retire to a cottage
small in Jersey.

Awful nonsense,
but I suppose it will go over.

I don't believe
he did this!

After all, Mabel,
he's got a fight in a week.

He needs
the publicity.

But he couldn't!
I know he couldn't!

Get me the Jersey
athletic club.

You sure got to hand
it to that guy Reilly.

When he smears
a front page,

he sure spreads
a mess.

If that don't cut the champ off the dame,
nothing else would.

Hello?

Who's calling?

Mabel O'Dare?

I'm sorry.
He's just gone

to Philadelphia
with his manager.

Oh, thank you.

You mean that...
this is true?

Not anymore.

It was supposed
to be our secret.

But he had
to spoil it...

just for the sake
of publicity!

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mabel.
I didn't know.

That's all right.
Forget it.

How would you like to
take me out tonight?

I'd love to!

Mmm, ain't you
gorgeous!

A thing of beauty
and a joy forever.

Have you read
the papers?

Nope.

They're carrying a
spread about you.

What about? -About you
getting married or some such traff.

What?

Read it yourself.

You don't suppose
that she...

Sure.
Swell publicity for her.

Business was
dropping off,

she owns a piece
of the show...

For the love
of mike,

you didn't fall
for it, did you?

But she said...
she said she...

But she must have.
she was the only one who knew.

It's a publicity racket
with all them show dames.

Come on, get packed.
We're leaving for Philly.

You mean, tonight?
- Yes, tonight!

It worked!

When she reads this,
she's going to blow

the roof right off of this theater.
-No she want, because she give me the story.

It's on the level.

I don't know.
it don't ring true.

Mabel marrying Ronny and you
printing an honest story?

Listen,
she's so sore at Cain,

she'd marry an ostrich
to get even.

I don't know...
it doesn't seem fair to either one of them.

You know,
I'm beginning to feel like a shyster.

Yeah? Maybe you'd like
to tell her the truth

and have her fold up
the show for you.

I said I felt like a shyster,
not a philanthropist.

That's what I thought.

Tight enough?

Yeah, I guess so.

How are your nerves?
On edge?

What?

Are you all keyed up?

Why should I be?

This is not the first fight I've fought,
you know.

Sure, I know, champ.

I'll be back
in a minute.

Hey, Pop!

You better get in there
and snap Larry out of it.

What's the matter?
Has he got the jitters?

No. That's the trouble.

He's as calm as a
cigar store Indian,

only not
as dangerous.

He just don't care.

You know,
I think this little article in the journal

about Mabel being engaged
to Cauldwell might work...

Much as I hate the idea of pouring
turpentine on a busted heart.

Well, champ, I told
the newspaper boys

you were going to take
Reed in the fourth.

I'll be satisfied
with a decision.

I made that bet,
like you asked me.

Thanks.

Remember
Ronny Cauldwell?

Yep.

Seems that he's
going to get married.

The girl must have
lost a bet.

Oh, I don't know.
Mabel always did like him.

Mabel?!

She wouldn't marry
that nincompoop.

All I know is
what it says here.

Come on, come on, you fathead!
Tighten those up.

What do you want me
to do, bust a hand?

Well, what's this?

A bunch of bananas.

Nice child.

Oh, some posies
for you, Mabel.

Who are they from,
dear?

Ronny.

They're beautiful,
aren't they?

Yes. they are beautiful,
aren't they?

Places! Lights! Hey, boy.
- Yes, sir?

Get O'Dare.
- She's practically here.

He's fighting tonight,
Mimi.

I, uh,
I hope he wins.

I don't.

I hope he loses and
gets out of the game.

It makes him do things
that aren't like him.

Can't you...

Say, can't you
forget Larry?

No, I...I can't.

Places! Curtain!

On stage, everybody.
places, please. Curtain!

Curtain! Places!

Yes?

On stage,
miss O'Dare.

Ready for
your entrance.

But there's Ronny.

I know,
and he's nice...

terribly nice.

But if I married him,

I'd still be waiting
for Larry to come back...

just as I've been
waiting for a week.

Are you-are you sure you
could be happy with Larry?

I don't know.

I don't think I could ever
forgive him for spoiling our...

Well, for putting that
in the papers.

Oh, how could he
have done it!

He didn't.
Reilly overheard you making plans.

What?
What do you mean?

That Larry didn't have
anything to do with the story.

He didn't?

No.

Well,
that's why he didn't call for me that night.

That's why he went
to Philadelphia.

He thought I put that
in the papers.

Yes, that's
what happened,

and that's the way
we planned it.

You planned it?

How could you do
a thing like that?!

Get me the Newark
airport, quickly.

What are you going to do?
- I'm going to Philadelphia.

d Here comes Chiquita,
so let's all make a bow d

Where's O'Dare?
- How do I know?

You better find out, she's go out
in a minute and she's not here.

Probably didn't hear her call.
I'll get her.

You're crazy!

Well, I may be crazy,

but I'm going to Philadelphia,
just the same.

Hey! You go on
in a minute.

Oh, no, I'm not.

Well,
what's the matter?

She knows about that piece in the paper,
and she says she won't go on.

Are you mad?

So mad that I'll never
forgive the lot of you

for the cheapest trick
that's ever been played!

Don't argue now.
Later, later!

This is later.
It's all over!

I'm through with you and the show
and the whole phony business.

Mabel!
Now, look, you can't do a thing like that.

You must remember the oldest
tradition of the theater:

The show must go on!

Why?

Why? Well, because...

Well, why?

Well, I...

Well, why is-

You can't answer it, can you?
Well, I can. The show doesn't have to go on!

d A gal, a pal,
a lady you'll adore d

d And we know she
adores toreador d

d Here comes Chiquita d

d You'll go for her,
and how! d

d May the best man win
when she comes in d

d Here comes Chiquita now d

Keep vamping!
For the love of mike, keep vamping!

d Here comes Chiquita d

d So let's all make a bow d

d To the swellest kid
in all Madrid d

Come on!
Get on there!

What are you
going to do?

No, you're not!
- Listen to that music.

There's hundreds of people out there
waiting to see you dance.

You've got to go on!
You've got to!

I tell you, I'm through!
I'm flying to Larry right now!

Not until you
do the show again!

I'm not! Let me go!

Get on that stage,
and don't argue.

d May the best man win
when she comes in d

d Here comes Chiquita now d

Don't argue!
Get out there!

Go on!

Let me get out of here!
Let me get...

Mabel, you get back
on that stage!

You can't
do this to me!

d You'll go for her,
and how! d

d May the best man win
when she comes in d

d Here comes Chiquita now d

Take me to the Newark
airport, quickly!

Mabel, you're making the
biggest mistake of your life.

I'm the best judge
of that.

What about the show?
- I don't care a thing about the show.

You have to care.

You know what this will
do to you in the theater.

The only thing I care about is
having Larry learn the truth.

That's the reason I brought you
along, so you could tell him.

Introducing the challenger,

at 215 pounds...

Joe Reed!

And in this corner,

the present heavyweight
champion of the world,

at 205 pounds...

Larry Cain!

Now, shake hands
and go to your corner.

When you hear the bell,
come out fighting.

Come on, Larry!

1, 2,

3, 4, 5, 6...

1, 2,

3, 4...

He's gone crazy!

He's another Dempsey!

Just look at him, will you?
A poem in dynamite!

What do you think
happened to him?

If we can only get that
dame to commit bigamy,

Larry will be
twice as good!

What's the matter with you?
Every time you swing,

it looks like you're waving good-bye
to your grandmother.

That guy won't give me a
chance to get settled.

He never fought like
this before in his life.

It's like boxing
a buzz saw.

Yeah, and you're supposed
to have a punch.

Well, somebody
forgot to tell him.

It's a new
Larry Cain, folks.

He's no longer
a clever boxer-

he's a killer,
a savage, a madman!

He's boring in again,
smashing a left and a right to Reed's jaw

and then sinking a short
uppercut to the body.

Reed is hanging on.
He's dead game, but bewildered.

This is not the Larry Cain
that he expected to meet.

1, 2,

3,

4, 5...

1, 2,

3, 4,

5, 6,

7, 8...

Pop, look! Do you
see what I see?

That's Mabel!

Anything
can happen now.

Larry! Larry!

Are you hurt?
- No, no.

I just found out where
that story came from.

It was Reilly.
- Honest?

Sure, I framed it.
- I knew it was something like that.

Get up! Get up!

Get-get Up!
Get up!

Hey, what did you
do that for?!

Wait till I put
this guy away.

The new champ!

I didn't throw that towel in!
- What's the idea?

You lost by
technical knockout.

Your second
threw in the towel.

I was just
trying to...

What do you mean?
You were out anyway.

Oh, yeah?

I didn't throw
that towel in!

What did you throw
the towel in for?

I lost every nickel
I had in the world

except the dough I'm
getting from this fight.

You haven't lost a thing.
I bet on Reed.

But, honey, that's your money.
I can't take that.

Well, we're partners,
aren't we?

Hold it!

World's greatest love story
comes true,

a sensation
for the press,

something that people will talk
about from day to day,

something that
will get...

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