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1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:03,468
Here you go.
2
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:04,836
Your favorite PJs are ready
3
00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:07,105
- for your first sleepover!
- What?
4
00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:09,101
I told you I never want
to go on a sleepover.
5
00:00:09,182 --> 00:00:11,049
Which is why I'm telling you
at the last second!
6
00:00:11,151 --> 00:00:13,017
I didn't want to hear you
complain all week.
7
00:00:13,060 --> 00:00:15,386
What if they make me
sleep next to an outlet
8
00:00:15,455 --> 00:00:18,623
and I roll over and my pinky
goes in and I get electrocuted?
9
00:00:18,725 --> 00:00:22,760
Then you're crying, "Why?
Why did I make my baby go?"
10
00:00:22,862 --> 00:00:23,895
You are going.
11
00:00:23,963 --> 00:00:27,098
You are too old to keep
dodging sleepovers.
12
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,634
- "She was so little!"
- [Door opens]
13
00:00:30,937 --> 00:00:32,770
- Still reading exams?
- Yep,
14
00:00:32,839 --> 00:00:35,039
I have to get through these
50 essays this weekend.
15
00:00:35,108 --> 00:00:37,208
It's exciting to see how
students do under pressure.
16
00:00:37,277 --> 00:00:38,910
Some struggle, but others soar!
17
00:00:38,978 --> 00:00:41,446
That's probably because
you're such a great teacher,
18
00:00:41,548 --> 00:00:42,947
mentor and father.
19
00:00:43,016 --> 00:00:45,049
Whatever it is, I agree with Mom.
20
00:00:45,118 --> 00:00:46,184
Please, Daddy!
21
00:00:46,286 --> 00:00:48,186
Mama wants me to go to a sleepover!
22
00:00:48,288 --> 00:00:49,620
Anna-Kat, that's not true.
23
00:00:49,689 --> 00:00:52,190
I am forcing you to go to a sleepover.
24
00:00:52,225 --> 00:00:54,125
You know Oliver only
cares about himself,
25
00:00:54,194 --> 00:00:56,094
so if you alienate me,
26
00:00:56,162 --> 00:00:59,564
all you'll be left with is
Taylor to take care of you.
27
00:00:59,666 --> 00:01:01,165
Not smart, Mama.
28
00:01:02,535 --> 00:01:03,634
[Door opens]
29
00:01:03,737 --> 00:01:05,036
Hi!
30
00:01:05,105 --> 00:01:06,838
- [Door closes]
- Ugh, trade.
31
00:01:06,906 --> 00:01:07,872
[Violet cooing]
32
00:01:07,941 --> 00:01:09,307
Ah, ooh.
33
00:01:09,409 --> 00:01:10,641
Hey, Violet.
34
00:01:10,744 --> 00:01:11,909
Oh.
35
00:01:11,945 --> 00:01:13,644
What happened to your hair?
36
00:01:13,747 --> 00:01:15,546
I can't afford to be blonde anymore.
37
00:01:15,648 --> 00:01:17,482
Pretty soon I'll be buying
second-hand clothes
38
00:01:17,584 --> 00:01:20,218
from garage sales like... this.
39
00:01:20,286 --> 00:01:21,919
- Ugh.
- I'll have you know
40
00:01:21,988 --> 00:01:23,855
I won this at Dave & Buster's.
41
00:01:23,957 --> 00:01:25,623
700 tickets.
42
00:01:25,692 --> 00:01:29,293
You know, I love Violet so much,
but being a mom is so hard.
43
00:01:29,396 --> 00:01:30,795
Why didn't anyone warn me?
44
00:01:30,864 --> 00:01:32,864
You can hear me screaming
at my kids from your house
45
00:01:32,932 --> 00:01:35,967
ten times a day.
Isn't that warning enough?
46
00:01:36,069 --> 00:01:38,102
Can I help you find something?
47
00:01:38,204 --> 00:01:39,270
You know it's just me over there
48
00:01:39,339 --> 00:01:41,472
in that giant house all by myself.
49
00:01:41,574 --> 00:01:42,774
I can't afford a nanny,
50
00:01:42,876 --> 00:01:44,108
Pilates is too expensive
51
00:01:44,144 --> 00:01:46,110
so now I'm breastfeeding to lose weight.
52
00:01:46,179 --> 00:01:48,146
I ballooned up to a size four.
53
00:01:48,248 --> 00:01:49,414
[Groans]
54
00:01:49,516 --> 00:01:51,416
Katie, your screaming pillow.
55
00:01:51,518 --> 00:01:52,784
Excuse me.
56
00:01:52,886 --> 00:01:54,619
[Muffled scream]
57
00:01:56,122 --> 00:01:58,356
See, you have Greg to help you
58
00:01:58,425 --> 00:02:00,825
with everything, especially the kids.
59
00:02:00,894 --> 00:02:03,060
[Baby talk] Who's got the sweetest nosey
60
00:02:03,129 --> 00:02:04,295
on your face-face?
61
00:02:04,397 --> 00:02:06,164
- You do!
- And on the plus side,
62
00:02:06,266 --> 00:02:08,366
his baby talk doubles as birth control.
63
00:02:08,468 --> 00:02:11,502
[Rustling]
64
00:02:11,538 --> 00:02:12,670
Viv, I know you're a little broke,
65
00:02:12,772 --> 00:02:14,906
but you can't steal groceries
from my house.
66
00:02:14,974 --> 00:02:17,341
[Chuckles] Hilarious, I love it!
67
00:02:17,444 --> 00:02:18,910
[Groans] I don't know, Katie.
68
00:02:18,978 --> 00:02:23,381
I just... feel like I can't do
this alone anymore.
69
00:02:23,416 --> 00:02:26,017
Do you guys think that you could
watch Violet for me tonight?
70
00:02:26,119 --> 00:02:27,251
We'd love to!
71
00:02:27,353 --> 00:02:28,820
Why are we watching the baby tonight?
72
00:02:28,922 --> 00:02:31,923
I am headed to Mario's
down by the train station
73
00:02:31,991 --> 00:02:34,492
where all the divorced investment
bankers go after work.
74
00:02:34,594 --> 00:02:35,927
I think I can snag one
75
00:02:35,995 --> 00:02:37,995
if I get there before all
the tramps take the good seats.
76
00:02:38,097 --> 00:02:40,298
- What are the good seats?
- Ooh.
77
00:02:40,366 --> 00:02:42,099
The barstools at the end.
78
00:02:42,202 --> 00:02:43,935
That way I can do this...
79
00:02:44,037 --> 00:02:46,838
[Laughs loudly]
80
00:02:46,906 --> 00:02:48,439
...without hitting anybody.
81
00:02:49,943 --> 00:02:52,843
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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♪
83
00:03:03,022 --> 00:03:04,989
Are those my earrings?
84
00:03:05,091 --> 00:03:06,190
These are so nice!
85
00:03:06,259 --> 00:03:07,959
- Can I borrow them?
- No.
86
00:03:08,061 --> 00:03:10,595
I wore them to a business dinner
but saved the receipt.
87
00:03:10,697 --> 00:03:12,730
- I'm returning them.
- No wonder I like them more
88
00:03:12,832 --> 00:03:14,632
than the rest of your trash...
Treasures!
89
00:03:14,734 --> 00:03:16,067
Off now.
90
00:03:16,169 --> 00:03:17,134
They're expensive
91
00:03:17,236 --> 00:03:18,636
and if I don't return them by tomorrow
92
00:03:18,705 --> 00:03:20,538
then I will be stuck with a store credit
93
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,607
that expires the day before I find it
94
00:03:22,709 --> 00:03:24,976
in a drawer with the extension cords.
95
00:03:28,014 --> 00:03:30,247
[Cellphone chimes]
96
00:03:30,350 --> 00:03:31,682
Ugh, news again.
97
00:03:31,784 --> 00:03:33,718
That's it. I'm deleting this app.
98
00:03:33,786 --> 00:03:35,086
[Cellphone dings]
99
00:03:36,389 --> 00:03:37,388
No.
100
00:03:37,490 --> 00:03:39,056
No no no no no no!
101
00:03:39,158 --> 00:03:41,926
Bad dog! Luthor, sit!
102
00:03:41,995 --> 00:03:44,962
Now Luthor, reverse swallow.
103
00:03:45,064 --> 00:03:46,464
Reverse swallow!
104
00:03:47,934 --> 00:03:49,200
Okay, practice run.
105
00:03:49,302 --> 00:03:50,568
When the mom says to go to sleep,
106
00:03:50,670 --> 00:03:53,337
you take your sleeping bag
and put it next to the bathroom
107
00:03:53,439 --> 00:03:55,840
just in case you want
to wash your hands a few times.
108
00:03:55,942 --> 00:03:58,009
Yeah, Mama, if you
want me to get covered
109
00:03:58,111 --> 00:04:00,111
in sewer water when a pipe bursts.
110
00:04:00,213 --> 00:04:02,780
- That is not gonna...
- Mama, I dunno.
111
00:04:02,882 --> 00:04:05,049
This is all happening so fast, Mama.
112
00:04:05,151 --> 00:04:06,584
You don't have to keep saying "Mama."
113
00:04:06,686 --> 00:04:07,952
I know who you're talking to.
114
00:04:08,054 --> 00:04:09,820
If you have any problems, call us.
115
00:04:09,922 --> 00:04:11,422
No matter how late.
116
00:04:11,524 --> 00:04:12,657
Even if you just want to talk.
117
00:04:12,759 --> 00:04:13,924
A word, Greg?
118
00:04:15,194 --> 00:04:16,727
[Sighs]
119
00:04:16,829 --> 00:04:18,663
As the years go on, coming into
this room alone with you
120
00:04:18,765 --> 00:04:20,698
has become more scary than sexy.
121
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,833
Why are you coddling her?
122
00:04:22,935 --> 00:04:24,935
She needs a push right now, not a hug.
123
00:04:25,004 --> 00:04:26,570
She's nervous. She's our baby...
124
00:04:26,673 --> 00:04:28,239
She is turning 10!
125
00:04:28,341 --> 00:04:32,276
And this is our opportunity
to help her grow up a little.
126
00:04:32,378 --> 00:04:33,644
I need this.
127
00:04:33,713 --> 00:04:35,513
I am getting "Mama" 'd
to death in there.
128
00:04:35,615 --> 00:04:37,181
What's your hurry to make her grow up?
129
00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:38,849
- She's our last one.
- Exactly.
130
00:04:38,951 --> 00:04:41,052
We're on the verge of
getting our lives back.
131
00:04:41,154 --> 00:04:42,720
Not if we take action.
132
00:04:42,789 --> 00:04:44,321
Let's have another baby.
133
00:04:47,026 --> 00:04:48,693
Can you get my screaming pillow?
134
00:04:48,728 --> 00:04:50,661
I'm sad our kids are getting big.
135
00:04:50,763 --> 00:04:52,530
I miss reading them books,
136
00:04:52,598 --> 00:04:54,231
they reach for your hand,
137
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:56,200
I miss the way they mispronounce words.
138
00:04:56,269 --> 00:04:57,802
Taylor still does it, but it's not cute.
139
00:04:57,904 --> 00:04:59,103
- It's more worrisome.
- Mm-hmm.
140
00:04:59,205 --> 00:05:00,838
Playing with Viv's baby today
141
00:05:00,873 --> 00:05:02,640
made me want to start all over again.
142
00:05:02,742 --> 00:05:05,476
Well then I wish you and your
second wife the very best.
143
00:05:05,545 --> 00:05:06,744
[Knock on door]
144
00:05:09,749 --> 00:05:11,549
I can't go to the sleepover, Mama.
145
00:05:11,617 --> 00:05:13,284
I think I'm getting my period.
146
00:05:13,386 --> 00:05:15,086
- No, you're not.
- I'm telling you.
147
00:05:15,188 --> 00:05:16,987
I can feel my uterine wall loosening.
148
00:05:17,056 --> 00:05:19,390
Stop Googling stuff
and go pack your bag!
149
00:05:19,492 --> 00:05:21,492
[Sighs]
150
00:05:21,594 --> 00:05:26,530
[Piano music playing]
151
00:05:26,632 --> 00:05:27,932
Can I ask you a favor?
152
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,333
- I need...
- Not my problem.
153
00:05:29,435 --> 00:05:30,468
This is serious.
154
00:05:30,570 --> 00:05:32,870
Then it's seriously not my problem.
155
00:05:32,972 --> 00:05:34,638
[Chuckles] That's good stuff.
156
00:05:34,741 --> 00:05:37,374
I turned around and Luthor ate
Mom's expensive earrings.
157
00:05:37,477 --> 00:05:38,342
[Chuckles]
158
00:05:38,444 --> 00:05:39,810
You're in so much trouble.
159
00:05:39,912 --> 00:05:41,278
I read online it can take a dog a month
160
00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:42,613
to pass something like this.
161
00:05:42,715 --> 00:05:43,981
But I need them by tomorrow.
162
00:05:44,016 --> 00:05:45,983
- What do I do?
- Oh, I know.
163
00:05:46,085 --> 00:05:47,651
Leave me out of it.
164
00:05:47,754 --> 00:05:49,019
I am on fire.
165
00:05:49,122 --> 00:05:50,721
You're always calling me the dumb one.
166
00:05:50,823 --> 00:05:52,523
So I'm dumb. Help me!
167
00:05:52,592 --> 00:05:54,725
All right, all right, I'll help you.
168
00:05:54,827 --> 00:05:57,027
Don't forget to wear gloves.
169
00:05:57,130 --> 00:05:58,262
Three for three!
170
00:05:58,364 --> 00:06:04,301
♪
171
00:06:04,370 --> 00:06:07,338
Viv, did you steal my car keys
so I'd come over?
172
00:06:08,441 --> 00:06:09,306
No.
173
00:06:11,144 --> 00:06:12,343
- [Keys jingle]
- Yes.
174
00:06:12,445 --> 00:06:13,611
- [Groans]
- But, hey,
175
00:06:13,679 --> 00:06:15,379
would you just stay
and talk to me for, like,
176
00:06:15,481 --> 00:06:17,081
ten minutes about anything adult?
177
00:06:17,183 --> 00:06:18,482
Look, just pick a topic.
178
00:06:18,551 --> 00:06:20,050
[Gasps] Is this my magazine?
179
00:06:20,153 --> 00:06:22,153
Did you take this from my bathroom?
180
00:06:22,255 --> 00:06:23,621
I left my phone in the bedroom
181
00:06:23,689 --> 00:06:25,623
and had to read the shampoo
bottle like an animal!
182
00:06:26,726 --> 00:06:28,726
- Hi, Viv.
- Alan?!
183
00:06:29,829 --> 00:06:31,428
How the hell did you get in here?
184
00:06:31,531 --> 00:06:33,831
I opened the door
with the light of my soul.
185
00:06:33,933 --> 00:06:36,267
And my key... I still have
my key, and it works.
186
00:06:36,369 --> 00:06:38,536
This isn't your home anymore, Alan.
187
00:06:38,604 --> 00:06:41,238
You and Viv are divorced.
She kicked you out a year ago.
188
00:06:41,340 --> 00:06:42,773
I know, and I deserved that.
189
00:06:42,875 --> 00:06:45,509
And in that time,
I've been in an ashram in India.
190
00:06:45,611 --> 00:06:46,877
I've been meditating.
191
00:06:46,946 --> 00:06:49,446
I've been finding myself,
reading other people's auras.
192
00:06:49,549 --> 00:06:51,482
Yours, by the way, is very cloudy.
193
00:06:51,584 --> 00:06:52,983
That's not good.
194
00:06:53,052 --> 00:06:54,752
You might want to have that looked at.
195
00:06:54,854 --> 00:06:56,487
What do you want, Alan?
196
00:06:56,556 --> 00:06:58,756
Listen, Viv, I wasn't
the greatest husband.
197
00:06:58,858 --> 00:07:00,124
But I want us to have a fresh start.
198
00:07:00,226 --> 00:07:03,460
And I realize you are
the most important thing,
199
00:07:03,563 --> 00:07:05,496
and if you take me back this time,
200
00:07:05,565 --> 00:07:07,398
I will give you everything
you deserve...
201
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,166
champagne, travel...
202
00:07:09,268 --> 00:07:11,068
I will teach you to levitate.
203
00:07:14,207 --> 00:07:16,006
Did you see that? It's very subtle.
204
00:07:16,075 --> 00:07:19,410
I really would like to believe
that you've changed.
205
00:07:19,512 --> 00:07:21,979
Let me show you that I've changed.
206
00:07:22,081 --> 00:07:25,783
If you take me back, I'll make
sure your energy is pure
207
00:07:25,885 --> 00:07:28,686
- and your sandals are Prada.
- [Gasps]
208
00:07:28,788 --> 00:07:32,656
Nice try, Alan, but Viv
doesn't need you anymore.
209
00:07:32,758 --> 00:07:35,292
She is a strong, independent woman...
210
00:07:35,394 --> 00:07:37,528
- Um, actually...
- No, Viv.
211
00:07:37,630 --> 00:07:38,996
- Um, actually, again.
- Viv!
212
00:07:39,098 --> 00:07:40,796
- Katie.
- You do not need a man
213
00:07:40,866 --> 00:07:41,827
to make you happy.
214
00:07:41,905 --> 00:07:45,035
Viv, it's just us this time...
you and me.
215
00:07:45,137 --> 00:07:47,671
A-All my children are in prep school,
216
00:07:47,773 --> 00:07:49,940
so there'll be no kids
to come between us.
217
00:07:50,042 --> 00:07:51,242
[Violet crying]
218
00:07:51,344 --> 00:07:52,776
Whose baby is that?
219
00:07:52,879 --> 00:07:54,311
- [Loudly] Katie's!
- [Gasps]
220
00:07:54,413 --> 00:07:56,213
Congratulations, Katie.
221
00:07:56,315 --> 00:07:57,882
"Namaste."
222
00:07:57,950 --> 00:07:59,944
That's a really neat phrase I learned.
223
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,906
It means "amazeballs."
224
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:06,773
Everything's gonna be just
like it was only better.
225
00:08:06,845 --> 00:08:08,879
- Oh.
- I'm getting so healthy right now,
226
00:08:08,981 --> 00:08:11,481
- I'm practically peeing essential oils.
- Oh.
227
00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:14,051
- And you will, too.
- I can't wait.
228
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:16,086
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go fill our toilet
229
00:08:16,188 --> 00:08:17,654
with eucalyptus and ylang-ylang.
230
00:08:17,723 --> 00:08:18,922
Mmm.
231
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,292
- [Door opens]
- My baby?
232
00:08:22,361 --> 00:08:24,194
I don't know.
It was all I could think of.
233
00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,163
- [Violet cooing]
- She's your baby, Viv!
234
00:08:26,265 --> 00:08:27,977
Of course she is! I'm just...
235
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,774
Giving up your baby for a shot
with your terrible ex-husband?
236
00:08:30,876 --> 00:08:32,543
No, not giving her up,
237
00:08:32,611 --> 00:08:35,846
just buying time to see if Alan
and I can work it out.
238
00:08:35,948 --> 00:08:37,314
He's going to have to know about her.
239
00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:40,050
She is not a banjo
you can store in my basement.
240
00:08:40,119 --> 00:08:41,352
Did I used to own a banjo?
241
00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:43,520
No, it could be anything.
It's a figure of speech!
242
00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:45,122
- Well I don't understand it.
- Viv!
243
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,359
Katie, please,
just watch Violet for the night.
244
00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:50,594
Then Alan and I will be back together,
245
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:52,396
and I promise I will come clean.
246
00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:53,897
By then he'll be so in love with me
247
00:08:53,999 --> 00:08:55,666
he'll have to be in love with her.
248
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:58,102
- This is a bad idea.
- Please?
249
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,194
Being a single mom is so hard.
250
00:09:00,272 --> 00:09:01,939
And I want my blond hair back.
251
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,741
Brunettes lead sad, miserable lives.
252
00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:05,776
You of all people should
understand that.
253
00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:10,114
Hey. Why'd you want my old...
254
00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:12,349
Oh, hell no!
255
00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:14,051
You had another one?!
256
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,953
Do they just drop
out of you without warning?
257
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:17,621
It is Viv's baby.
258
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,823
I did not have time to
grab a stroller from her.
259
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:22,292
- [Violet coos]
- Why would you want to babysit Viv's baby?
260
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,861
Alan is back
261
00:09:23,929 --> 00:09:25,863
so I'm stuck taking care
of little Viv here
262
00:09:25,931 --> 00:09:28,599
until she can get up the guts
to tell Alan she had a baby.
263
00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:30,968
Since when do you do such
nice things for people?
264
00:09:31,036 --> 00:09:31,902
I don't know.
265
00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:34,238
I'm losing what makes me special.
266
00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:36,573
The worst part is having this
little angel at our house
267
00:09:36,675 --> 00:09:38,108
is making Greg baby crazy.
268
00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:40,477
And I do not want another baby.
269
00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:42,179
Sometimes the best cure
for wanting a baby
270
00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:43,647
is spending time with a baby.
271
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:44,748
Yeah, it's true.
272
00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:46,750
Make Greg watch the baby all night.
273
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:48,485
- See how he likes it then.
- Mm-hmm.
274
00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:50,387
I always say, if you want to
talk someone out of marriage,
275
00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:52,389
just hang out with my ex-wife.
276
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:53,979
What does that have to do with the baby?
277
00:09:54,003 --> 00:09:55,012
I don't know,
278
00:09:55,037 --> 00:09:56,570
I just feel like we don't
talk about me enough.
279
00:09:56,595 --> 00:09:57,895
[Chuckles]
280
00:09:57,997 --> 00:10:00,297
[Thudding]
281
00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:05,969
Ready for your sleepover?
282
00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:07,871
It was nice knowing you, boy.
283
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:11,308
You with your shorter life span,
and here I am going first.
284
00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:13,377
You will be home tomorrow morning.
285
00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:14,945
Get in the car.
286
00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:22,786
[Door closes]
287
00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:25,322
[Violet cooing]
288
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:29,059
Here you go, Professor.
289
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:30,360
Katie, I'm working.
290
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,862
Not anymore.
291
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,598
Oh, is having a baby
sometimes inconvenient?
292
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:35,999
Good thing she's not a toddler,
293
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:38,302
because toddlers do stuff like this.
294
00:10:41,607 --> 00:10:47,644
♪
295
00:10:47,746 --> 00:10:49,112
[Violet cries]
296
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,716
[Cellphone clicking]
297
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,117
You know how you said the dog
298
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,386
eating Mom's earrings
wasn't your problem?
299
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,554
Yeah, that was great.
300
00:10:57,656 --> 00:10:59,122
And remember those gold cufflinks
301
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:00,257
that you got from Spencer?
302
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,558
[Chuckles]
You mean the ones that he stole
303
00:11:01,627 --> 00:11:03,794
off Malcolm Forbes' corpse
at his funeral?
304
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,329
[Chuckles] Right, those.
305
00:11:05,397 --> 00:11:07,064
Well, now we have the same problem
306
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,599
because Luthor ate them.
307
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,237
How'd Luthor get them?!
308
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,938
Well, they somehow fell into a treat.
309
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,074
That I fed him. And then I laughed.
310
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,076
Now grab some gloves and join the party.
311
00:11:19,144 --> 00:11:20,177
[Chuckles]
312
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:25,382
- Hey.
- Hey.
313
00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:27,351
I am back from dropping Anna-Kat off.
314
00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:29,853
Where is Violet?
315
00:11:29,955 --> 00:11:33,090
She's napping in my office
like an angel.
316
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,424
- Is she?
- Yeah.
317
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,026
Hmm.
318
00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:45,035
[Coins clang]
319
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:46,904
Why are you putting
loose change in the blender?
320
00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:49,039
You need to sharpen the blades
every six months.
321
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:50,908
You are not staying on top of it.
322
00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:51,909
I don't think tha...
323
00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:53,677
[Blender whirring, coins clanging]
324
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:55,279
You'll wake the baby!
325
00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:56,847
Oh, is she sleeping?!
326
00:11:56,949 --> 00:11:58,315
I forgot she was even here!
327
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,183
We were just talking about her!
328
00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:04,688
[Whirring, clanging continue]
329
00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:06,456
[Blender shuts off]
330
00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:10,727
Why isn't she crying?
331
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,996
She's so calm.
I forgot how good babies can be.
332
00:12:13,098 --> 00:12:13,931
Oh.
333
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:16,600
Such a good baby!
334
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:19,202
KATIE: Let's see how good
you are when I do this.
335
00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:20,170
[Pacifier pops]
336
00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:22,906
[Giggles]
337
00:12:24,276 --> 00:12:25,776
[Coos]
338
00:12:25,844 --> 00:12:27,411
I better clean this pacifier.
339
00:12:27,479 --> 00:12:28,812
Newborns are the best.
340
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,180
[Dramatic music plays]
341
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:33,083
You've made a powerful enemy, baby.
342
00:12:33,185 --> 00:12:36,153
[Cellphone rings]
343
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,421
[Cellphone clicks]
344
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:39,256
Anna-Kat, are you okay?
345
00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:40,457
You were so right.
346
00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:43,160
- The sleepover is fun.
- See?
347
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:45,162
But we're having
a stuffed animal tea party
348
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,064
and I didn't bring one.
349
00:12:47,132 --> 00:12:49,766
I'm going to be stuck using
an oven mitt like an idiot.
350
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:51,535
Okay, calm down. I'll be right there.
351
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:52,936
Bring my stuffed turtle.
352
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:54,671
The one with the friendly eyes.
353
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:56,707
Not the one who looks like
he has a terrible secret.
354
00:12:56,809 --> 00:12:58,475
How am I supposed to figure that out?
355
00:12:58,577 --> 00:12:59,676
You'll know.
356
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:06,483
♪
357
00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:13,156
♪
358
00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:14,625
What do you know, turtle?
359
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:18,161
- [Indistinct talking]
- Mama!
360
00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:21,698
- Here's your turtle.
- Forget the turtle.
361
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:22,776
Let's get out of here.
362
00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:24,901
Wait, what about the tea party?
363
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,637
There was never any tea party.
364
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:28,372
Let me get my things,
and I'll explain in the car.
365
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,774
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're not getting your things.
366
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:32,309
Good thinking. Leave 'em here.
367
00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:34,511
- Collateral damage.
- No.
368
00:13:34,613 --> 00:13:35,979
Just because something is hard
369
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:37,848
does not mean you run away from it.
370
00:13:37,916 --> 00:13:40,117
This is an opportunity
for you to make friends
371
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:41,818
with some nice girls.
372
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,720
I am not taking you home.
373
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:47,224
WOMAN: Kids, it's time to
decorate your own cupcake!
374
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:49,292
[Sighs] I'm in hell.
375
00:13:49,361 --> 00:13:55,232
♪
376
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:56,366
KATIE: Viv?
377
00:13:56,468 --> 00:13:57,801
What are you doing here?
378
00:13:57,836 --> 00:14:00,103
Other than breastfeeding and
making Greg uncomfortable.
379
00:14:00,205 --> 00:14:01,171
I couldn't figure out
380
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,773
a way of getting past her
without looking.
381
00:14:02,841 --> 00:14:04,307
Before I go out with Alan for the night,
382
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:07,010
I had to feed my sweet,
beautiful Violet.
383
00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:09,146
This is always the best part of my day.
384
00:14:09,248 --> 00:14:10,480
Mm.
385
00:14:10,582 --> 00:14:13,350
I remember when I had
best parts of my day.
386
00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:14,618
All right, Viv.
387
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:15,919
- [Door closes]
- The car's out...
388
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:18,455
Why are you breastfeeding Katie's baby?
389
00:14:18,557 --> 00:14:20,624
- Uh...
- When you left Viv,
390
00:14:20,726 --> 00:14:25,328
she became so poor that... I had
to hire her... as my wet nurse.
391
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:26,797
That's... right.
392
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:28,131
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
393
00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:31,735
Um, Katie is just one of
my many clients that I wet for.
394
00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:34,871
I-I'm not an idiot, okay?
395
00:14:34,973 --> 00:14:36,606
Okay, Alan...
396
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:39,309
...Violet's my baby.
397
00:14:39,423 --> 00:14:41,445
Since we've been divorced,
you had a baby?
398
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:42,979
Alan, what you have to understand...
399
00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:44,881
[Bleep] I looked.
400
00:14:46,564 --> 00:14:48,134
And the father was a pig whisperer,
401
00:14:48,213 --> 00:14:49,820
he caught me at a very vulnerable time.
402
00:14:49,906 --> 00:14:52,523
But then he left town and
I never heard from him again.
403
00:14:52,578 --> 00:14:54,632
Well, the "old me" would've
dumped you immediately.
404
00:14:54,687 --> 00:14:57,272
But Swami Gary's taught me
to think before I act.
405
00:14:57,341 --> 00:14:58,807
He calls it "thacting."
406
00:14:58,874 --> 00:15:00,774
What other vocab did
Swami Gary teach you?
407
00:15:00,876 --> 00:15:02,309
Douching, by chance?
408
00:15:02,411 --> 00:15:04,711
As in, the act of being a douche?
409
00:15:04,813 --> 00:15:07,047
Here's my offer... we're gonna
Westport the whole situation.
410
00:15:07,116 --> 00:15:09,082
We're gonna hire
an entire staff of nannies.
411
00:15:09,151 --> 00:15:11,251
They're gonna care for her.
They're gonna feed her.
412
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:12,893
They're gonna take her
to tennis lessons, okay?
413
00:15:12,925 --> 00:15:13,864
When she's old enough,
414
00:15:13,889 --> 00:15:15,589
we're gonna get her into
a Swiss boarding school.
415
00:15:15,691 --> 00:15:17,157
And then you and I
will live our lives...
416
00:15:17,226 --> 00:15:18,425
our big, awesome, amazing lives,
417
00:15:18,494 --> 00:15:20,460
and you are gonna want for nothing.
418
00:15:20,562 --> 00:15:22,729
Um...
419
00:15:22,831 --> 00:15:24,331
- I...
- Viv?
420
00:15:24,433 --> 00:15:27,167
I'll be in the car, okay?
421
00:15:27,269 --> 00:15:29,002
Amazeballs.
422
00:15:29,104 --> 00:15:31,171
Means "namaste," essentially.
423
00:15:33,175 --> 00:15:34,775
Okay, before you say anything,
424
00:15:34,843 --> 00:15:36,376
- maybe it is a good plan.
- [Door opens, closes]
425
00:15:36,445 --> 00:15:37,711
Maybe Violet will be better off.
426
00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:39,446
- Viv...
- And you'll be better off!
427
00:15:39,548 --> 00:15:41,048
I won't be here all the time
428
00:15:41,116 --> 00:15:43,150
bothering you, taking your stuff,
429
00:15:43,218 --> 00:15:45,252
showering at your place
when you guys are gone.
430
00:15:45,321 --> 00:15:47,321
It took you so long
to leave on Thursday.
431
00:15:47,389 --> 00:15:48,755
- Oh.
- Greg?
432
00:15:48,857 --> 00:15:49,923
A word?
433
00:15:50,025 --> 00:15:54,961
♪
434
00:15:55,064 --> 00:16:00,000
♪
435
00:16:00,102 --> 00:16:01,668
I called the vet, and they said pumpkin
436
00:16:01,737 --> 00:16:04,271
will make him go immediately,
so I fed him a can and a half.
437
00:16:04,373 --> 00:16:05,639
- Smart.
- [Luthor sniffing]
438
00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:07,174
Come on, boy! Give us some earrings!
439
00:16:07,276 --> 00:16:08,975
And cufflinks...
don't forget the cufflinks.
440
00:16:09,078 --> 00:16:10,777
Whoa, whoa. He needs his space.
441
00:16:12,081 --> 00:16:13,914
Ooh, I think he's ready to go.
442
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,148
How can you tell?
443
00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:16,249
It looks like he's trying to solve
444
00:16:16,352 --> 00:16:18,251
a really hard math problem.
445
00:16:18,354 --> 00:16:20,854
[Gasps] Good boy, good boy!
446
00:16:24,093 --> 00:16:25,726
[Gasps] Mom's earrings!
447
00:16:27,062 --> 00:16:28,962
[Sighs] Where are my cufflinks?
448
00:16:30,332 --> 00:16:31,798
Come on, boy.
What else you got in there?
449
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:34,034
A thimble? A race car?
450
00:16:34,136 --> 00:16:35,669
Well, looks like he got into Monopoly.
451
00:16:35,738 --> 00:16:37,437
Come on, boy. Where are my cufflinks?
452
00:16:37,506 --> 00:16:39,539
Luthor never ate your cufflinks.
453
00:16:39,641 --> 00:16:40,540
He didn't?
454
00:16:40,642 --> 00:16:41,641
Then where are they?
455
00:16:41,744 --> 00:16:43,410
I couldn't feed cufflinks to our dog.
456
00:16:43,512 --> 00:16:44,878
I'm not a monster.
457
00:16:44,980 --> 00:16:46,413
I just needed you to help me.
458
00:16:46,482 --> 00:16:47,647
[Cufflinks jingle]
459
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:51,952
♪
460
00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:53,620
Really?
461
00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:55,122
You played me?
462
00:16:56,492 --> 00:16:57,924
All new respect.
463
00:16:57,993 --> 00:17:00,260
For the "dumb one,"
that was a pretty smart move.
464
00:17:00,362 --> 00:17:02,429
I think you mean for the "dumb whom,"
465
00:17:02,531 --> 00:17:03,797
that was a pretty smart move.
466
00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:06,133
♪
467
00:17:06,201 --> 00:17:08,301
Here's the problem...
468
00:17:08,404 --> 00:17:11,338
Evil Katie almost
has Viv out of her hair.
469
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,340
She wants fewer people depending on her
470
00:17:13,442 --> 00:17:14,941
so she can have more of a life.
471
00:17:15,043 --> 00:17:18,812
And sending Viv off with Alan
would do that in spades.
472
00:17:18,881 --> 00:17:20,514
But Good Katie knows...
473
00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:23,817
That Viv and her baby belong together.
474
00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:26,620
But Evil Katie is tired of
using Russian dressing
475
00:17:26,722 --> 00:17:29,456
to cover her blemishes because
Viv stole her concealer.
476
00:17:29,558 --> 00:17:31,558
But we're human beings, and...
477
00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:34,227
And... we need to do the right thing.
478
00:17:35,564 --> 00:17:36,897
Fine.
479
00:17:36,965 --> 00:17:39,533
I blame you for making me
a better person.
480
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:41,134
It's very unpleasant.
481
00:17:45,441 --> 00:17:49,309
Viv, I know that you have told me
482
00:17:49,378 --> 00:17:52,879
that you are not mom material,
but you are wrong.
483
00:17:52,981 --> 00:17:54,648
- I am?
- Yes.
484
00:17:54,716 --> 00:17:57,584
Violet is amazing.
485
00:17:57,653 --> 00:18:00,220
- I tried to make her cry repeatedly today...
- Wait, why would you...
486
00:18:00,289 --> 00:18:02,722
- It's not important, Viv.
- [Horn honks]
487
00:18:02,825 --> 00:18:04,891
- It's Alan.
- [Sighs]
488
00:18:04,993 --> 00:18:08,094
You have got the best baby ever.
489
00:18:08,163 --> 00:18:10,764
And there is only one reason for it.
490
00:18:10,866 --> 00:18:14,034
Because she has got the best mom ever.
491
00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:16,169
You really think I'm a good mom?
492
00:18:16,271 --> 00:18:17,537
I know you are.
493
00:18:17,639 --> 00:18:18,839
Ugh!
494
00:18:18,941 --> 00:18:20,340
That is such a relief
495
00:18:20,442 --> 00:18:22,409
because I stole
your "best mom ever" mug,
496
00:18:22,511 --> 00:18:23,777
and I felt really bad about it.
497
00:18:23,846 --> 00:18:25,712
But now I feel like I earned it.
498
00:18:26,915 --> 00:18:27,881
You know what?
499
00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:31,551
I don't need a man to make me happy.
500
00:18:33,188 --> 00:18:35,155
Because you make me happy.
501
00:18:35,224 --> 00:18:36,289
[Coos]
502
00:18:36,391 --> 00:18:37,858
Yes, you do.
503
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:42,929
Violet, it'll be the two of us
against the world.
504
00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:47,934
It'll be the two of you plus the
Otto family against the world.
505
00:18:50,539 --> 00:18:52,772
I don't need a man.
506
00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:55,912
- [Chuckles] Because you're my man.
- [Grunts]
507
00:18:55,966 --> 00:19:01,599
Oh, gosh, you're my big,
strong, burly man.
508
00:19:01,717 --> 00:19:02,983
[Smooches]
509
00:19:04,419 --> 00:19:05,819
I could kill Good Katie.
510
00:19:05,921 --> 00:19:07,821
Mm.
511
00:19:07,923 --> 00:19:12,792
♪
512
00:19:12,895 --> 00:19:14,794
Look who I have here.
513
00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:17,464
Oh my God, Greg, she's alive!
514
00:19:17,566 --> 00:19:18,899
She made it through the sleepover
515
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:20,634
and nothing bad happened!
516
00:19:20,736 --> 00:19:21,768
All right, I get it.
517
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,069
You were right, it was good.
518
00:19:23,138 --> 00:19:25,505
We made S'mores and had
a marshmallow fight.
519
00:19:25,607 --> 00:19:27,674
I'm glad I stayed.
520
00:19:27,776 --> 00:19:29,342
Anna-Kat.
521
00:19:29,444 --> 00:19:31,478
Yeah?
522
00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:33,046
I am proud of you.
523
00:19:33,148 --> 00:19:34,902
[Chuckles] Thanks, Mom.
524
00:19:34,980 --> 00:19:35,982
"Mom"?
525
00:19:36,084 --> 00:19:37,450
Yeah, "Mom."
526
00:19:37,553 --> 00:19:38,952
None of the kids say "Mama."
527
00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:40,787
That's for babies.
528
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,556
[Sighs]
529
00:19:44,426 --> 00:19:46,893
No more "Mama."
530
00:19:46,995 --> 00:19:48,995
I'm not "Mama" anymore.
531
00:19:49,097 --> 00:19:51,131
I'm now... "Mom."
532
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,366
[Groans]
533
00:19:53,468 --> 00:19:55,035
"Mom."
534
00:19:55,137 --> 00:19:57,070
It's the end of an era.
535
00:19:59,107 --> 00:20:01,641
She was so little.
536
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:04,578
So... fourth baby?
537
00:20:08,216 --> 00:20:09,282
Nah.
538
00:20:09,384 --> 00:20:11,351
I'm just gonna teach Luthor
to call me "Mama."
539
00:20:11,453 --> 00:20:14,020
I saw a husky do it on the Internet.
540
00:20:18,835 --> 00:20:21,016
I am telling you it is more fun
541
00:20:21,102 --> 00:20:23,023
to steal from restaurants
than your friends.
542
00:20:23,094 --> 00:20:24,226
Okay.
543
00:20:24,376 --> 00:20:26,109
One... two...
544
00:20:26,211 --> 00:20:27,443
three... now!
545
00:20:27,498 --> 00:20:28,764
[Thud]
546
00:20:28,866 --> 00:20:30,700
You're right. And it's always stocked.
547
00:20:30,802 --> 00:20:33,754
I mean, I could never get real
maple syrup at your place,
548
00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:34,778
I mean, 'cause you're always like,
549
00:20:34,848 --> 00:20:36,305
"glug, glug, glug, glug, glug."
550
00:20:36,374 --> 00:20:38,801
[Quietly] When the manager
turns away, grab the ketchup.
551
00:20:38,879 --> 00:20:39,879
[Whispering] Oh, no, no, no.
552
00:20:39,923 --> 00:20:40,922
I've already stolen like
553
00:20:41,024 --> 00:20:42,224
three ketchups from you.
554
00:20:42,326 --> 00:20:45,627
But they have those tiny
hot sauces, and I love those.
555
00:20:45,729 --> 00:20:47,707
- Okay, on three.
- Okay.
556
00:20:47,777 --> 00:20:49,417
One... Two...
557
00:20:49,466 --> 00:20:50,632
- [Gasps]
- Dibs!
558
00:20:50,734 --> 00:20:52,300
- Oh.
- It's taco night tonight.
559
00:20:52,402 --> 00:20:54,436
I'll make it up to you.
Next stop... Starbucks.
560
00:20:54,546 --> 00:20:56,335
When you ask them for almond milk,
561
00:20:56,376 --> 00:20:57,542
they hand you a whole carton.
562
00:20:57,608 --> 00:20:59,492
- So fun!
- Yeah.
39586
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