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English (HI) Subtitles.
Workaholics S04E12 (720p) DeputyDong - BrRip [KoTuWa]
2
00:00:01,250 --> 00:00:04,430
- Okay, flank.
Get around, go flank left.
3
00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:05,922
- Are you f... ts
ready to die?
4
00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:07,090
- Okay.
- No, no, no, no.
5
00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,883
You're gonna die, okay?
- Yeah.
6
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,760
- And please, stop calling us
the (mouths) f... t word,
7
00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:11,886
all right?
8
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,596
- It's horrible.
It's a hateful word.
9
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:14,806
- Shut up, f... t.
10
00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:16,557
- [grunts angrily]
- Oh, good one.
11
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:17,684
Good comeback, "Shut up."
12
00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:19,018
Who even says (mouths) f... t
anymore?
13
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,603
That's not even a word
that people say.
14
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,647
My grandfather says that,
and my...
15
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:23,940
And my grandma
still says it,
16
00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:26,109
and my aunts,
and a few of my uncles,
17
00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:27,485
but not the gay ones.
18
00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:29,195
- Hey, you guys
seen the packing tape?
19
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:31,989
I'm trying to send this box
of dry-ice-packed
20
00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:33,908
California avocados
all the way to Sweden.
21
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,202
I got a big-tittied pen pal
named Anika.
22
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:37,328
I'm trying to impress her.
- Very cool.
23
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,621
Big titties, love those.
24
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:39,872
But you're kind of
in the way,
25
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,374
and we got
DeputyDong cornered.
26
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,126
- You have him cornered?
Okay, that's impossible
27
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,877
because he's way too good.
- You're dead, man.
28
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,587
- I won't even log on
if the guy's playing.
29
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,464
Always calling me
(mouths) f... t and stuff.
30
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,133
- That's you, this is us.
We don't quit.
31
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:51,592
- Yeah, we're not quitters.
32
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,428
And also, don't play
under my profile...
33
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,971
- Turn around, f... t.
- Look out, look out!
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00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:57,181
Wait...
[both shout]
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00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:58,891
- Ders, you frickin' idiot.
36
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,643
You... I'm dead...
We're dead now... okay.
37
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,812
This is some B.S.
Frickin' idiot.
38
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:05,356
Frickin'... got...
Gave me all of his bad juju.
39
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,775
You know what?
Fug his Californiacadoes.
40
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,737
Yeah, sorry.
Sorry.
41
00:01:10,863 --> 00:01:12,947
This is gonna get all fermented
and disgusting.
42
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,115
- Actually,
that looks pretty good.
43
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:15,450
Hopefully, Anika likes that.
44
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,160
- Yeah,
I hope Anika likes that.
45
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:18,745
- You wanna play again,
or are you f... ts
46
00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:20,121
tired of my dong
in your ass?
47
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,247
- There you go again
with the word,
48
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:22,790
with the (mouths) f... t word.
49
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,459
- I have to say, though,
he is hurting my feelings.
50
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,252
- Hey, DeputyDong.
51
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:28,629
How about you
take your dick
52
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:32,633
and you put it, uh...
like some meats in there?
53
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,428
Meats and cheeses down the...
down the d-hole?
54
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:37,263
And then, all...
You're in the wilderness,
55
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:38,389
and a ton of squirrels...
56
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:39,849
- Uh-huh.
- [sniffing]
57
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:41,476
- Well, get to it.
- And now they're...
58
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,936
[mimics gnawing]
They're... they're munching...
59
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,062
- Ouchie, yeah.
60
00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:46,647
- Ders!
- Yo.
61
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:48,441
- Hey, we need your help
with this thing real quick.
62
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,401
- What? Oh, is he calling
you guys (mouths) f... ts again?
63
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,987
- Yes, he is.
- Well, guess what, buddy!
64
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:56,407
D-Dong, your mom
is so fat...
65
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,867
[loud explosion]
66
00:01:57,993 --> 00:02:00,536
- Oh.
67
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,662
- How fat is she?
68
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,665
[beatboxing]
69
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:05,792
♪ ♪
70
00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,377
- ♪ I'm fresh ♪
71
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,546
- ♪ You gotta, you gotta,
you gotta, gotta ♪
72
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,632
- ♪ Gotta be fresh ♪
73
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:15,551
- I don't think
you understand.
74
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,011
The blender,
it has 15 speeds, okay?
75
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,846
You can... you can make
a hamburger shake.
76
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:19,972
You can make
a pizza shake.
77
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,016
- So it just exploded?
- Yeah.
78
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,434
- On its own?
You didn't do anything to it?
79
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:24,894
- That was the crazy part.
80
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,313
It was, like, avocados
mixed with dry ice.
81
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,398
It's just combustible.
It's like a scientific fact.
82
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:30,775
Ooh!
- Hey, look.
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00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,276
I'm just trying
to do my job here.
84
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,612
You don't have to call me
a fa...
85
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:37,198
uh, hold, please.
86
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,449
Guys.
- What's up, Blake?
87
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,326
- It's DeputyDong.
88
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:41,702
It's him, it's DeputyDong.
- That's DeputyDong?
89
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,204
- On the phone?
- Yeah, man, I was like...
90
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,039
- No, sir, I'm not
calling you DeputyDong.
91
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,541
- Yeah, I was, like,
I thought it sounded familiar,
92
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:47,959
but then, once he dropped
the (mouths) f... t bomb,
93
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:50,419
I'm like, "It's him."
- [laughs]
94
00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:53,214
Okay, uh, you gotta, like,
keep him on the line, right?
95
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,800
And then, we got to,
like, trace the call.
96
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:56,926
- Yeah.
- Figure out his address, right?
97
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,135
- Can we do that?
98
00:02:58,262 --> 00:02:59,762
- Uh, hey.
Thanks for holding.
99
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,430
- Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Disguise your voice.
100
00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:04,684
- Uh... uh, hello.
This is the... the supervisor.
101
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,435
- You sound like black Grover.
102
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,271
- You're gonna want the...
The blender that has 15...
103
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:09,981
Do you know
how many speeds 15...
104
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,440
What does that mean?
I don't know what that means.
105
00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:13,442
No, please don't hang...
Don't hang up.
106
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,987
I lost him.
Damn it, man, I lost him!
107
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:17,321
You guys
were distracting me, man...
108
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:18,990
- No, I was doing this,
I don't know
109
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,117
why you didn't continue...
- What does that mean?
110
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,577
- Stretching...
Stretching it all out,
111
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,203
stretching the time...
time stretcher.
112
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,955
- I thought for sure
you were saying,
113
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,915
you know, "Let's get
Philly cheesesteaks for lunch."
114
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,376
- A Philly cheesesteak,
like, idea for lunch
115
00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:33,379
would be like...
[mimics squirting]
116
00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,256
- Sure.
- Yes.
117
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,466
- Ooh, got a little somethin'.
Got a little somethin'.
118
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,136
- So you aren't hungry
for Philly cheesesteaks.
119
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,929
Well, god... Now my day
really sucks.
120
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,347
- No, no, no, no, no.
Look, client info.
121
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,891
Look, his address
is right there.
122
00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:46,475
- Oh, yeah.
- We had it the whole time.
123
00:03:46,602 --> 00:03:47,894
- Oh, my gosh,
we know where he lives.
124
00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:49,395
- I say we go
to this dude's house
125
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:50,730
and bring the game to him
126
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,315
using violence, dude.
127
00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:54,525
Just...
[mimics automatic gunfire]
128
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,694
[mimics guns firing]
129
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,070
[mimics shotgun blast]
Aah!
130
00:03:58,196 --> 00:03:59,697
- Oh, real guns?
- We won't use guns,
131
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,033
but a lot of word bullets.
132
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,367
- Let's go there,
kick down his door,
133
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:04,744
delete his account,
you know?
134
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,579
That way,
he can't play anymore.
135
00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:07,914
We'll have Sniper Shot: Munich
all to ourselves,
136
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,707
along with everybody else
who plays.
137
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,584
- Oh, my gosh, that would
shatter DeputyDong's world.
138
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,836
That game is, like, his life.
- Right, it's, like, sad.
139
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,338
- We should do it
and show him what happens
140
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:17,757
when you get us
really frickin' pissed.
141
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,091
[laughter]
142
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:20,301
- Totally...
Oh, dude.
143
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,969
- And the best news of all:
144
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,471
It's not even that far away.
145
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:26,098
- ♪ Flip this
linguistic pimp shit ♪
146
00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:28,434
- Hey!
- Whoa. Whoo!
147
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,102
Hey, wow.
That didn't take long.
148
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,021
[yawns]
149
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:33,648
- No, it did not.
Just nine hours, boys.
150
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,483
Welcome to Arizona.
151
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:36,609
- [laughs]
All right.
152
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,277
Who wants a breakfast beer?
153
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:41,364
I got some extremely cold ones
on dry ice back here.
154
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:42,865
- Not me.
Got my java.
155
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,533
I'm on my ninth one
right now?
156
00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:46,118
So I'm going
pretty good, man.
157
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,245
I feel like I just flew
a red-eye, but I feel good.
158
00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:49,956
- What the frick, dude?
The house is right here, man.
159
00:04:50,082 --> 00:04:51,457
- We're good, we're good...
160
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:52,750
- Yeah, but park it down
the street, that's like
161
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,126
one of the first rules of...
- No.
162
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,336
- Okay, everybody
turn to channel nine
163
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,462
in case we were
to get separated.
164
00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:58,089
- Yep, copy that.
165
00:04:58,215 --> 00:04:59,632
- Roger Blake's "copy that."
166
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,592
- Okay, copy Ders'
Blake's "copy that."
167
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,219
- Okay, well,
stop copying me, dude.
168
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:06,055
- Whoo!
- I said it.
169
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:07,723
- DeputyDong!
170
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:10,643
Open up, you bitch ass!
171
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,520
- Hey, hey, hey!
This ain't a game anymore!
172
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:13,938
- Come on, man.
We know you're in there.
173
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,356
We can hear
your bitch-ass music.
174
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,482
- He's being a bitch ass.
175
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:17,775
- All right,
I got an idea.
176
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,151
I'm gonna go
check around back.
177
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,569
- I have an idea too,
and it's...
178
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:21,737
- See you back...
see you back there.
179
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,781
- It's in the front.
180
00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:29,620
- Sorry.
181
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,623
[suspenseful orchestration]
182
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:36,836
♪ ♪
183
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:39,630
- Maybe if we mix dry ice
with some be... avocados...
184
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,298
- Okay.
- Maybe we can create another...
185
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:42,925
- Wait, you can't touch it
with your bare hands!
186
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,719
What are you doing?
- Oh, why is it sticking to me?
187
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,929
Oh, it's sticking to me.
Oh... oh!
188
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,180
Oh, it's so hot!
- Hang on, hang on.
189
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,932
- It's so hot.
Why is ice hot?
190
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,434
It's supposed to be cold!
- Here, let me help you.
191
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,601
Let me help you.
- No, I'm gonna break it
192
00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:53,936
on my head.
- What? No.
193
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,396
- [screams]
- What are you...
194
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,481
Hang on.
My hot coffee, my hot coffee.
195
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:58,816
I'm gonna melt it.
I'm gonna melt it.
196
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,234
Ready?
197
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,069
- Oh. Ow.
- Hey, it worked.
198
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,779
- [screams]
199
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,614
The coffee's burning my eyes.
200
00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:07,825
- Shoot, sorry.
- Ow, god!
201
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,077
- Oh, my god.
Is he okay?
202
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,537
- I was burned by ice,
203
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,247
and then I was burned
by coffee.
204
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,375
It hurts.
It hurts so bad.
205
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,089
Is it him?
- Am I who?
206
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,632
- No. Stop.
207
00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:25,468
- What is a bundle of sticks?
- Shh, stop it.
208
00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:26,802
- What do you consider
a bundle of sticks?
209
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,220
- Stop it, stop...
Oh, we got cops.
210
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:29,346
We got cops.
There's a cop.
211
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:31,807
- Ho, ho.
212
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:38,147
- There was
this whole thing, Dad.
213
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,398
I mean, it was...
it was insane.
214
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,025
Hey, you missed
like this whole ordeal.
215
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,902
- What are you doing outside?
Come on, get inside.
216
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,987
The neighbors are gonna see you.
Come on, inside.
217
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:47,573
- DeputyDong, that's him.
- Dude, he's a cop?
218
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:48,991
No wonder
he's so good at the game.
219
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,534
Now I get it.
- It's a funny name.
220
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,244
- I thought it was just,
like, about... Well, anyway.
221
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,622
This is Black Ops
Agent Dreble
222
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,457
to Black Ops
Agent Uncle Blazer.
223
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,292
What is your location,
Uncle Blazer?
224
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,337
- No, uh, actually,
I'm going by "Chamilitary Man."
225
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,339
Yeah, as in Chamillionaire's
rap group.
226
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:04,590
You remember him, right?
227
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:05,841
- You gotta get
out of there, dude.
228
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,426
He's a cop.
He's there.
229
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:08,761
- And there was all
this loud commotion outside.
230
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:11,555
- Oh, poop...
and pee mixed together.
231
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,432
- So I went to go see...
- I don't care, Nate.
232
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:14,975
I just buried one of
my best friends on the force.
233
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,560
I'm not in the mood
for your drama.
234
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,979
- God, Dad, I'm sorry.
- Okay, just shut up.
235
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:21,273
Turn off this crap music
and put out the bourbon.
236
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:24,026
I got half the force
coming over here.
237
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:25,903
- Oh, dude.
- What?
238
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:28,364
Oh, my god.
Black Ops Agent Blue Blazer.
239
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:31,575
The place is crawling
with popozaos.
240
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:34,036
Popozaos everywhere.
Over.
241
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:37,039
[electronic music]
242
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:41,252
♪ ♪
243
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,170
- Guys.
I'm trapped in the closet.
244
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,713
You gotta get me
outta here fast.
245
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,715
- Okay, well,
plans are hard to think of,
246
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:49,760
so it might
take us a minute.
247
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,389
- [screams]
- [screams]
248
00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,812
- [screams]
- Oh! Ah! Ah!
249
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,355
Ah! Ah!
Stop, you little...
250
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,815
Ow, you bitch!
251
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,358
- Away from the door!
Away from the door!
252
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,153
- Ow, ow!
Dude, I'm not here to hurt you.
253
00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:10,406
I'm just here to erase
DeputyDong's a-account, okay?
254
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,158
[cries]
Ah...
255
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:13,993
Ah, my roots.
256
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:16,370
- Delete my dad's account?
- [exhales]
257
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,622
- That would destroy him.
Yeah, I'm in.
258
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,332
- You are?
- Oh, completely.
259
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:21,959
He made me drop out
of design school
260
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:24,044
because he didn't like
the "offensive photos"
261
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,838
on my Instagram account,
but I know
262
00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,548
it's really because
he doesn't like my lifestyle.
263
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,049
- Your lifestyle.
Sure, sure.
264
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,467
- Not to mention
he's constantly throwing around
265
00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,303
that hate speech 24/7
266
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,430
with all his friends
on that stupid gaming system.
267
00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:35,764
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
the guy
268
00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:38,559
likes to throw
the (mouths) f... t word around.
269
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,896
- Well, I know where
he keeps the stupid Nintendo.
270
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,856
- Okay, it's not
a Nintendo, actually.
271
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,399
And Nintendos aren't stupid.
272
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,484
They're actually one
of the flawless machines
273
00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:48,777
of our generation.
274
00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:50,613
- Okay, I think we need
to figure out
275
00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,781
which closet
Blake's trapped in...
276
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:55,284
- Yes, right.
- And then tunnel.
277
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,411
I've already started
right here.
278
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,787
But, you know,
the more I think about it,
279
00:08:58,914 --> 00:08:59,997
the more that that's
a horrible plan
280
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,123
'cause that might
take too long.
281
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,875
Damn it.
- Yeah, nice.
282
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,627
- [over radio] Change of plans.
- Nice imagination, though.
283
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,212
- Yeah. What?
- Who is this? Who is this?
284
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,005
- I'm a child at heart.
Hey... Who is this?
285
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:09,131
- It's your best friend,
Blake.
286
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:10,341
- I don't know a Blake.
287
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:11,592
I know a Black Ops
Blue Blazer.
288
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,052
Is this him?
- No.
289
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,386
Actually, I changed my name.
You know that.
290
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:15,763
It's Chamilitary Man.
291
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,306
- Chamilitary Man
is a horrible name,
292
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,807
so we're going by Blue Blazer.
- Horrible.
293
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,935
- Go ahead.
We'll accept the charges. Over.
294
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,353
- Change of plans,
all right?
295
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,146
I got a man-boy here
on the inside helping me
296
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:25,564
with the mission, okay?
- A man-boy?
297
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,650
- This place is crawling
with cops, guys.
298
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:29,276
I'm serious.
There's tons of 'em in here.
299
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,612
So I just need you
to buy me some time,
300
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,906
and then we'll get
this mission accomplished.
301
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,199
All right?
Over and out.
302
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:36,909
That's an order.
- Okay.
303
00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:38,535
And we will buy you time
with the cops,
304
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:40,621
now over and out.
- Over and out.
305
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,623
- Okay, over... It was
over and out when I said it.
306
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,750
- Can I comb your hair?
- Over and out. What?
307
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:45,960
- Blake,
stop encouraging him.
308
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,378
Okay, just let him do it.
309
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:48,504
- I am letting him do it.
Over and out.
310
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:49,838
- Over and out.
- Roger that.
311
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,131
- That was Blake.
- I know, I know.
312
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,424
I got an idea.
I got an idea.
313
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:53,884
Look, we're gonna
go up there.
314
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,010
We're gonna say
we're exterminators, right?
315
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,178
'Cause we look the part.
316
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,638
So what's, like,
a local animal?
317
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,431
Like a... a vulture!
318
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,308
A vulture flew in a window
around the back of the house.
319
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,601
We saw it.
We're here to kill it.
320
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:03,978
- Dude, that is smart.
- Thank you.
321
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,896
- Oh, my god.
Yeah, we're like...
322
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,314
We're like
vulture exterminators.
323
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,983
- Yes, exactly.
- That's really smart.
324
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,442
That's a really good idea.
- I appreciate you...
325
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,403
- Also, I think
I have a better one.
326
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,780
Yeah, hi.
We are black ops.
327
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:17,658
I am Secret
Special Agent DeMamp,
328
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,493
and this is...
329
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,911
- The Exterminator.
330
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:23,664
- And we're here
for the party.
331
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,541
- So you guys
knew Ramirez, huh?
332
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:26,959
Were you at the wake, or...
- Yes.
333
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,962
We... we were
at the wake big-time,
334
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:33,507
and we know Ramirez
from police academy.
335
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,592
- Oh, yeah, a lot of us
went there too.
336
00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:38,053
I don't recognize you guys.
- And I don't recognize you
337
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,889
from the black ops academy
that we know Ramirez from.
338
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,433
- Yeah, I never heard
of that.
339
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,101
- Well, then I guess
we're doing our job.
340
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:45,728
[both laugh]
- It's a secret.
341
00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:47,479
It's a secret sect.
It's like...
342
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:48,731
It's like Skull and Bones
343
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:50,858
and also other
secret Illuminati.
344
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,276
- The Ya-Ya Sisterhood.
345
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:54,194
- We carry guns instead
of traveling pants.
346
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,779
- Yeah.
347
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,448
- I can't believe
that dickhead's dead.
348
00:10:57,574 --> 00:11:00,868
- What?
- Dickhead?
349
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,162
[laughs] You guys
really did know Ramirez.
350
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:04,872
- Yeah.
- [laughs]
351
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:05,998
- Yeah.
- Come on in.
352
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,499
- Yeah.
- Ramirez.
353
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:10,502
What a dickhead.
- Total dickhead, man.
354
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,338
You forget how much
of a dickhead he is.
355
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:15,591
Ramirez, the old bitch.
356
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,009
The old dickhead.
- Yes.
357
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,552
He's definitely
more of a dickhead
358
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:21,889
than a bitch.
- Guys, what's your status?
359
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,141
- So let me... let's...
- Yeah, we should take it.
360
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:27,811
It's probably... ugh...
the chief.
361
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:28,937
- Hey, yeah, come on.
Come on.
362
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,147
Hey.
[overlapping chatter]
363
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:31,815
- All right, all right,
all right.
364
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,567
- What's up, dude?
- Right on, right on, right on.
365
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,904
Guys, fellas,
this is my dog, Nate Dogg,
366
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,489
and, well,
he's gonna help us
367
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:39,782
get to DeputyDong's
console.
368
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,617
- Yeah, I fucking hate
that thing.
369
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,744
- Yeah, okay.
- Oh, all right.
370
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,329
- Yeah.
It's cool. It's cool.
371
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,081
And we understand,
and we get it,
372
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,833
and it's cool to be
who you are as a person.
373
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,335
And I've seen Milk.
- Yep.
374
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,253
- So...
- What are you talking about?
375
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:54,880
- We just need you guys
to kind of
376
00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,507
make a little scene
in here, right?
377
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:58,550
And so we can kind of sneak
into the man cave.
378
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,260
- Hey, I'm gonna hit the head.
Grab me a beer.
379
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,845
- Uh, um...
380
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,680
Shut it, shut it,
shut it, shut it.
381
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:04,890
- Whoa.
- Jesus, Dad.
382
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,141
Don't you knock or something?
383
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,393
What if I'd been
pinching a loaf?
384
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:08,936
- Damn it, Nate.
Lock the door then.
385
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,437
And what the hell
are you doing in here?
386
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,356
- Just shaving my pubes
into a flame design.
387
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:13,607
- Jesus, never mind.
388
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,983
I'll go piss in the yard.
389
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:17,861
- They look good.
390
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,239
- Dude, that was amazing.
- Oh, my god.
391
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:21,782
- How'd you just come up
with that on the fly?
392
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,868
- Oh, no, that's something
I actually do.
393
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,203
Flame on, bitches.
394
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:27,871
- Okay, wow.
- What?
395
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,289
- No.
- What are you doing?
396
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,208
- Yeah!
You're packing heat.
397
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,335
That's what that is.
- Thanks, man.
398
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:34,586
- Come here, give me some skin.
- Hell, yeah.
399
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,130
- Mm-hmm.
- Dude, pube art is...
400
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,257
Is, like,
back in a big way.
401
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,432
- So I am gonna sew
these pants together,
402
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:47,641
and then we'll both be
wearing them at the same time.
403
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,226
- Huh?
- And then you're gonna
404
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,603
bend over in front of me
and hide in the clothes basket.
405
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:52,938
We'll put all the clothes
on top of you.
406
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:54,523
- I bend over?
407
00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:57,025
- Is that a hard concept,
Mr. Cha-military Man?
408
00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:58,777
- It's actually
Chamilitary Man.
409
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,822
Cha... Chamillionaire.
He was, like, huge, wasn't he?
410
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,073
- I'm sorry.
Do I look like I care?
411
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,199
- Really?
- Do you have a better idea?
412
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,201
Come on.
Let's do it.
413
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,036
- Now?
- Well, for a fitting.
414
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:09,955
- All right, see if it fits.
- Make sure everything's tight.
415
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:11,957
- Make sure it's tight
and fits, sure.
416
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,750
Sure, we're talking about
the pants, right?
417
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:16,003
- Excuse us, gents.
418
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,046
Clink, clink, clink, clink...
- Listen up in the back.
419
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:21,049
- We would like to honor
Ramirez's fallen soul
420
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:25,971
with a traditional Irish cop
drinkin' song.
421
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:29,600
- Hey, how 'bout it?
- Uh, Ramirez was not Irish.
422
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,811
- He was not Irish,
but he was a traditional guy.
423
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:34,605
Every... we used to get
the Shamrock Shakes
424
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,231
with him every year, right?
425
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,983
And traditionally,
cops are Irish.
426
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,109
- Let's just sing the song.
427
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,235
- Here we go.
- Mm-kay.
428
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:41,361
- ♪ La, la, la, la ♪
429
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,781
- [scats]
430
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,992
♪ When Irish cops arrest ya ♪
431
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:49,620
♪ You better run and hide ♪
432
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:53,457
♪ But don't run from cops ♪
433
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:57,211
♪ But if you do,
we'll beat your behind ♪
434
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:01,173
- ♪ But within the restrictions
of the law ♪
435
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:05,260
♪ And we will always
remember you, Ramirez ♪
436
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,179
- ♪ You had a big old dick ♪
437
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:09,932
♪ And if a girlie
sucked it ♪
438
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:13,602
♪ It would probably
make her sick ♪
439
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:18,106
- ♪ But let's always remember
that Ramirez was ♪
440
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:22,569
♪ A proud, strong warrior,
and that's it ♪
441
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,488
- ♪ Who had
a big old dick ♪
442
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:27,157
♪ And he's probably
in Heaven ♪
443
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:31,495
♪ Making all the angels
suck on his cock ♪
444
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,121
- ♪ But once again,
the one thing ♪
445
00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:35,040
♪ To remember about the dude ♪
446
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:39,795
♪ Was that he arrested people
and he was a cop ♪
447
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,463
- Okay, now
we gotta go right.
448
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,841
My... my right.
No, that's... that's straight.
449
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,010
- Where... where is it?
- [groans]
450
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,054
Okay, keep... keep...
It's straight.
451
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,764
There, we're good.
- Oh, there, there, there.
452
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,641
There it is, okay.
[sighs]
453
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,351
Great disguise, man.
That's great.
454
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,728
Okay, let's get to it.
Oh, yeah.
455
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:58,188
[laughs]
456
00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,606
- Can I talk to you
about something?
457
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,358
- Huh?
What, right now?
458
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,569
- Yeah, I-I just...
You know, I think
459
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,696
my dad hangs out in here
and plays video games all day
460
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:09,408
because he doesn't quite know
how to talk to me, you know?
461
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,201
Because I'm so different?
462
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:12,911
- Sure, I mean,
I'm different too.
463
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:15,080
I mean, not...
not the way you're different,
464
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:16,790
but in my own way.
- There's stuff in your hair.
465
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,625
- Yeah, it's okay.
I got it, I'll handle it.
466
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,043
I got it.
Yeah. I'm kind of like...
467
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:21,503
Sorry.
I'm a little anal about that.
468
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:24,256
Not anal, but just...
469
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:25,424
I get upset
when people touch my hair.
470
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:26,925
- Mm.
- You know what?
471
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,802
Let's just get back
to sabotaging, okay?
472
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,679
- Wait, wait, wait, no, no.
Tell me how you're different.
473
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:31,972
- Okay, you know what?
Let's...
474
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,141
I don't know
if now is the time
475
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,852
for the discussion part,
okay?
476
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,604
Just let me out!
Just let me out.
477
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,814
I don't want to fart on you
or anything, so...
478
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,190
- I think my dad,
you know,
479
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,734
he... he just doesn't
understand me.
480
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,193
I'm afraid
he doesn't love me.
481
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,820
- I'm sure your dad
loves you, dude.
482
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,947
And, hey, he's gonna
love you even more
483
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,866
once we delete
this gaming account, all right?
484
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:53,118
He'll have nothing to do
but hang out with you,
485
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,786
so come on,
let's do this.
486
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,580
Get that out of your head,
you dork.
487
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,832
Your Dad loves you.
488
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,459
- Thanks,
Agent Chamilitary Man.
489
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:03,587
- Yes, you're welcome,
and I don't
490
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:04,755
really like that name anymore.
491
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,006
I'm not gonna use it.
492
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:07,549
- Oh, I was just
getting used to it.
493
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,009
- I want something more manly.
494
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,344
Thinking with this getup here,
495
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,220
maybe Commander
of S.W.A.T. Titties?
496
00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:18,769
both: ♪ Ramirez ♪
497
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,354
- Salud.
Salud.
498
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,398
- R.I.P.
- That was a really bad song.
499
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,025
Don't do that anymore.
- Okay.
500
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,610
- All right,
listen up, everybody.
501
00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:29,404
I got a 12-year-old
bottle of scotch in my man cave
502
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:30,822
I've been saving
for a special occasion.
503
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,199
What do you say?
Huh?
504
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,284
- Wait a minute,
there's more verses.
505
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,119
♪ Ramirez liked
to kill bad guys ♪
506
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,913
♪ By hittin' them in the head
with a tire iron ♪
507
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,373
- And if we could
just find a way to turn...
508
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:40,582
- What the hell's going on?
509
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,584
- Uh, I'm the maid.
510
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,503
Your... I'm your new maid.
511
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,676
- ♪ We came here ♪
- ♪ To do what ♪
512
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,219
- Who's this guy?
513
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,555
- Oh, my god.
514
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,391
It's a gang member!
515
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,268
This is the... the...
The freaking gangbanger
516
00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:01,978
that killed Ramirez.
- Oh, yeah!
517
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:04,398
- He and his whole clique
of freakin' longhairs.
518
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,525
He probably showed up here
to watch us grieve,
519
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,110
you sick fuck.
520
00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:10,487
- What you might not realize
is we are black ops.
521
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:12,989
This was our operation.
We came here to get him.
522
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,616
- Yep, undercover.
- So we're gonna take this perp
523
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:17,244
to HQ, probably waterboard him,
I don't know.
524
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:18,912
We'll take it from here.
- We'll take him out of here.
525
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,914
- No, no, no, hold on.
You're not going anywhere.
526
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,958
If you're gonna torture
this cop killer,
527
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:25,877
I'd like to see it.
- Uh, do you have a board
528
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,295
that we can pour
some water on?
529
00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:29,047
That's one of the first steps.
- Yeah.
530
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,632
- That's not
what waterboarding is.
531
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,551
- Well, how would you know?
Are you black ops?
532
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:35,220
- Am I black ops?
- Found a board, found a board.
533
00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:36,388
So we can do it ourselves.
534
00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:38,724
[overlapping shouting]
535
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:40,892
Right here,
you freakin' idiot.
536
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,853
- We're gonna pour some water
on that board now!
537
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:44,396
- Yeah.
- All right, yeah.
538
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,982
But don't get
my walkie-talkie wet, seriously.
539
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:48,942
- Oh, I'm gonna freakin'...
- We're fully stocked.
540
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,861
- Can I take
my walkie-talkie off, damn it?
541
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:55,115
- You're... consider
yourself waterboarded.
542
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,117
- Yeah.
- Whoo, whoo.
543
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,536
Whoo.
Who do you work for?
544
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,329
- Now, what the fuck
Is going on here?
545
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,623
You guys are all dressed alike.
You obviously know each other.
546
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,959
Ramirez died of a heart attack
in his house.
547
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,378
- Uh, I see what you did.
You strung us along.
548
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,964
- We are dressed alike.
I-I actually forgot about that.
549
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,841
- The thing is this:
We know who you are
550
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:15,260
because we play video games
with you online...
551
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:16,970
Sniper Shot: Munich...
552
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,263
and you call us
(mouths) f... t all day.
553
00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:19,765
We don't appreciate it.
554
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:21,308
So we're here to tell you
to your face.
555
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,601
- Yeah, we thought
we were just gonna come here
556
00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:23,977
and just frickin' stomp
on a fool.
557
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,979
And then, it was a cop,
and we...
558
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,315
I got to sing for you guys,
which was fun, but... yep.
559
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,941
- And sir,
we just need you to know
560
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:33,487
that your hateful,
hurtful (mouths) f... t bombs
561
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,155
aren't just hurting us,
all right?
562
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:36,990
They're hurting
your boy Nate as well.
563
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,785
And he's got something
he wants to say to you.
564
00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:41,828
Go ahead, young man.
565
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,581
- Dad, I hate it when
you play video games so much.
566
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,333
I feel like
you ignore me,
567
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,919
and you love yelling at people
and playing games
568
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,837
more than you love me.
569
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,631
- And?
- And...
570
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,508
- Tell 'em who you are
in your heart.
571
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,301
- What do you mean?
- Deep up, in your butt,
572
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:58,094
who are you?
- It gets better.
573
00:18:58,221 --> 00:18:59,763
- What gets better... what?
- You can tell 'em.
574
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:00,889
- Tell 'em
you're a little gay dude.
575
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:02,474
- What?
- What?
576
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,059
Oh... No, no, no, no, no.
I'm not gay.
577
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:06,353
- Okay, whoa,
'cause my gaydar was going...
578
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:09,981
[flaps lips]
579
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,775
- And let me remind you
that you flashed
580
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,109
your pube-flame at us.
581
00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:14,986
- But so did he.
Does that mean he's gay?
582
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,530
- No, it doesn't make me...
583
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:17,948
I'm constantly showing
these guys my pubes.
584
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:20,742
I have a whole design situation
down here.
585
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,494
I also trim
my inner thigh hairs.
586
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:27,123
And also, my butthole hairs
have a certain pizzazz.
587
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,125
It's a hetero thing,
in my case.
588
00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:31,044
- Okay, well,
I'm not gay either, no.
589
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,088
The whole reason
that I got into fashion
590
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,673
in the first place
was so women
591
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,424
would take their clothes off
around me.
592
00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:38,218
So many titties.
- You're serious?
593
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,970
- I have a girlfriend.
- Yeah, she's hot.
594
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,429
I caught him boning in his room
the other day,
595
00:19:41,556 --> 00:19:42,806
and I just watched,
just for a second.
596
00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:44,349
He was really
giving it to her,
597
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:45,934
like his old man,
you know?
598
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,894
- Definitely weird.
Please stop talking about that.
599
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,062
What is going on
between you guys?
600
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,564
What's... what is the beef?
601
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,148
- [sighs]
602
00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:53,733
Nate.
603
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,944
I'm a cop,
and I got a son
604
00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:58,572
who spends all his time
on a sewing machine.
605
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,032
Remember when we used to play
street hockey all the time?
606
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:03,118
You were such
a gifted goalie.
607
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:04,411
- Okay, how 'bout this?
608
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,663
How about I cut back
on the sewing,
609
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:08,164
you cut back
on the video games,
610
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:09,624
and, you know, we could
611
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,585
go to a Coyotes game,
like we used to?
612
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:12,878
- Come on.
- Oh, my god.
613
00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:15,255
- Here he is, come on.
My boy.
614
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:16,965
- You're welcome.
- Oh, wow.
615
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:18,425
- What do we do
about these assholes?
616
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,052
- Let's do something
to honor Ramirez.
617
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:24,097
Let's mace 'em.
[all screaming]
618
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:27,225
Get the little one
in the mouth.
619
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:28,852
- [sighs]
Okay.
620
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,313
What do you say we just play
a nice, relaxing game?
621
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:33,148
None of this shoot-'em-up
violent stuff.
622
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:35,108
- Yes, exact...
'Cause that's what's making them
623
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,776
so mean,
the violence, right?
624
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,820
Let's just play a nice,
civilized game of tennis.
625
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,322
- I love that.
- Yes.
626
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:42,157
Doubles, everyone?
[both laugh]
627
00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:43,491
- Get to it.
Get to it.
628
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,493
- Yep, top spin, baby.
- Nice. Nice.
629
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:47,203
- I like the fun hat
you put on your guy.
630
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,622
- Thanks, man.
- Yeah.
631
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,749
- Nice, nice, nice.
- Get it... smash it.
632
00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:52,083
- [groans]
- Ha-ha!
633
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,586
Set point, you f... ts.
634
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,254
- Okay. Okay.
635
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:57,923
- Wow.
- Where do you live?
636
00:20:58,049 --> 00:20:59,925
- Nice.
637
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:02,010
[dog snorts]
[party horn blows]
638
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,307
- ♪ Ramirez is getting
his dick sucked ♪
639
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,809
♪ in Heaven by angels ♪
640
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:13,229
[radio feedback]
641
00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:14,481
- One more time!
642
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,441
♪ When Irish cops arrest ya ♪
643
00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:18,485
both: ♪ Ya better
run and hide! ♪
644
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:19,653
- [mumbling]
45200
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