Original subtitles

(soft music) (wind whooshing)

(wolf howling)

(upbeat hip hop music)

- [Male Radio Interviewee] The Judge Marco Gonzales review

a proposed sale.

Then, loans energy training business to UBS.

Little bit of suspense there,

but it should actually go through.

We can't be sure until the Judge gives his thumbs up,

the investigators in Congress continue questioning people

from Edison and then also Enron

and a lot of other stuff, probably.

- [Interviewer] Got a couple seconds left for the next call.

Amy, you with us?

- [Amy] I think that personal computers are...

♪ Chasing dreams ♪

♪ My love, oversee ♪

♪ All yours ♪

♪ Loving these ♪

♪ Waterfalls ♪

♪ Hey, love calls ♪

♪ Chasing dreams ♪

♪ I'll be ♪

♪ Overseeing ♪

♪ What you want ♪

♪ Loving these waterfalls ♪

♪ Hey, love calls ♪

♪ Will I regret the choice I made ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Will be clean by break of day ♪

(machine beeps)

- [Man] Hey, it's me.

Look, Conrad, about visiting your grandfather,

I don't see why I have to be there.

I just think it's a little too soon, you know?

Call me.

(machine beeps)

- [Louis] Conrad, it's Louis.

A bunch of us are meeting at Base tonight at 1o for drinks,

and I think you should come.

You need to start getting out again.

Oh, Jones is gonna be there.

I know you say you don't care, but I hear he's hung

like a mule, and I know you're a size queen, so I'll see ya.

(machine beeps)

♪ Chasing dreams ♪

♪ I'll be overseeing ♪

♪ What you want ♪

♪ Loving these waterfalls ♪

♪ Hey, love calls ♪

♪ Is it my fate or selfish greed ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Should I feel fear ♪

♪ For things unseen ♪

- [Woman] Do you want to sleep with me?

- [Man] Are you kidding?

I don't think about much else.

- [Woman] Really?

How come you've never tried?

(soft music)

(phone beeping)

- [Man] From the day I saw you,

I knew you were mine, so I never felt rushed.

(phone beeping)

I never felt like I had to put any pressure on you.

I knew it would happen when it happened.

- Hi, Tyler!

- [Man] It's not important for me

to try to take anything away from you.

- I'm not exactly sure how this works.

- [Man] It's cool that you give yourself

to me when you're ready.

- Yeah.

- [Woman] Your sister said something today-

- Yeah.

- [Woman] That struck me as kind of odd.

- How soon could you come over?

- [Man] What's that?

- [Woman] I said that your mom must've been

so in love with you dad-

- How much does this cost?

- [Woman] She went nuts after he died.

- Okay.

Great, I'm at 289.

- [Woman] She said it's a long story.

- West 72nd Street.

- [Man] It is.

- Apartment 3N.

Alright, great, see you soon.

- [Man] No, it's alright.

- Bye.

(phone beeping)

Yeah.

- [Mike] Yeah, there's a Tyler down here.

- Thanks, Mike, send him up.

(upbeat music)

Come on in.

Hi.

- Hi.

So, you done this before?

- No, why?

- It shows.

- It does?

- Yeah, it's cute.

- You want somethin' to drink or-

- No, thanks.

You look real nice.

- Thank you.

Is that an Australian accent?

- Yeah, most people think I'm from England.

- You look better than your picture.

- Thanks, I think.

- Your picture's hot.

- Yeah?

You think I'm hot?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

You want me?

- Yeah.

- Oh yeah, I have to get paid first.

(record scratches)

- Oh, yeah, sorry.

- Cheers.

So, what do you want to do?

- What are my options?

- Anything.

Everything.

(soft music)

- How much for the whole night?

- Thousand.

- Okay, stay.

- Oh, yeah, usually need advance notice.

I have some other clients.

- Oh, okay.

- Next time?

- Yeah, sure.

Oh.

- Well, I had fun.

- Yeah, see ya.

- See ya.

(soft music)

- Good morning, Bonnie.

- Good morning Mr. Billings.

Mrs. Drake and Mr. Foster are waiting for you

in your office.

- Thanks.

- Mornin' Ted, Emily.

- Conrad.

- So, we all set for tomorrow?

- Yes, but one of the locations fell through.

- Which one?

- Miami.

- What?

Michael didn't say anything.

Bonnie, get me Michael, please.

- He said it was no problem.

- Actually, he had some great alternatives.

- What alternatives?

- Morning.

- Michael, what's goin' on?

The Miami location pulled out?

- [Michael] Not to worry.

- So, what did you come up with?

- Well, I've been thinkin' about this,

and since we're in New York,

why don't we just keep it local?

We can use some of the beaches here in Long Island,

Hamptons, New Jersey, Cape Cod if we need to.

I've got locations in all these areas if we want 'em.

Plus, we don't have to spend money on a crew goin'

down to Florida.

- But isn't the whole feel of the ad supposed to be Miami?

- Not necessarily.

Actually, a lot of areas around here have an exotic,

yet familiar feel to them.

Add a couple of hot models, and you got something.

Honey, it's all about lighting anyway.

- And besides, who's looking at the beaches anyway?

You've got two of the hottest models around,

and they'll be half-naked and wet.

- Good point.

- I think Emily's gonna have to think about this a bit.

- No, no, no, no, no, I like it.

Plus, we could save a couple bucks.

So, you think you can work it out for this week?

- Definitely!

Ted, I'm gonna need your input.

- Alright, let's get to it.

- [Michael] Okay, good.

- Oh, Michael, you don't make a decision like that

without me, alright?

- That's what you pay me for, no?

- I should have been consulted.

I've worked too hard on this campaign.

- We've worked hard on this.

I'm the art director.

You hired me because I'm good at what I do.

This all happened this morning, and I took care of it.

I think you'd be happy.

- Just keep me in the loop, alright?

- Okay, anything else?

- Naw, that's it.

(soft music)

- Look, since you and Martin broke up,

you've been actin' like an asshole, period.

- What?

- Now, I say this with love.

You need to get laid.

- How do you know I haven't?

- 'Cause anybody that's been actin' like you have lately

isn't gettin' somethin', and my guess is dick.

- Well, for your information, I have too.

- Who?

- Never mind who.

- What do you mean "never mind who".

Who is it?

Do I know him?

- No, you don't.

- You don't know that.

What's his name?

- I'm not telling you his name.

- Oh.

- Oh, what do you mean, oh?

- Nothin'

- Nothing?

- It's just that you're probably really embarrassed

because he's fat or ugly or crippled. (laughing)

- That's real nice, Louis.

- Come on, is it somebody that we know?

- No.

- It's probably somebody really out there

like Rick, the janitor (laughs).

Is it Rick, the janitor?

- Louis, that is so fucked up, I'm not even gonna answer ya.

- Oh my god, you had sex with Rick, the janitor?

- I am not climbing aboard this train.

- Did you suck his dick?

(Conrad whistles)

Oh my god, you sucked his dick, didn't you?

- [Conrad] Louis.

- I can't believe you actually blew the janitor.

You blew the janitor.

- Louis, I did not blow the janitor.

- Oh, you let him fuck you, didn't you?

(Louis laughs)

- Shut up.

I hired a hustler, alright?

- A hustler?

What do you mean you hired a hustler?

- I paid him.

- You fucked a whore.

- He isn't a whore.

- A real, live putting your money on the dresser whore?

- [Conrad] Louis!

- How much did you pay him?

- $200.

- $200?

How can you justify payin' somebody $200

for somethin' you can get for free?

- It was nice.

- Nice?

- For $200, that motherfucker better

be shootin' sparks out of his ass or somethin'.

Shoot.

- He was.

- Was he cute?

- Tyler?

Hi, this is the guy from last night.

The one on the upper Westside.

72nd Street?

High rise, doorman.

No, I'm not blonde. (laughs)

Oh, you're fuckin' with me.

Do you do this to everyone?

And Jesus I was startin' to feel insulted.

Anyway, tomorrow night.

Can you make it?

Yeah, the whole night.

Okay, I'll see you then.

Bye.

(soft music)

Hey.

- Hi.

- What's in the bag?

- Fresh shirt, toothbrush, huntin' knife.

(Conrad chuckles)

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything.

- It's alright.

- Come on in.

So, you been in New York a long time?

- [Tyler] About two years.

- You like it?

- Yeah.

Um, you can pay me now.

- Oh yeah.

- So, tell me.

What's a guy like you doin' payin' anyone $1000

for sex?

- I don't know.

- I would think anyone would want to fuck ya.

- Let's just say I don't want any hassles.

- You get hassled a lot?

- Nah, I just got out of this three year relationship,

and I'm not quite ready to date anyone just yet.

At least with you, I know you only want me for my money.

See, no bullshit, no hassles.

- Fair enough.

- Hey, do you smoke pot?

- Yeah.

(both giggling)

Never heard that one.

I'm good.

(Tyler giggles)

So, why'd you break up with your boyfriend?

- He broke up with me.

Said I was too controlling.

- Probably.

- Probably?

- Well, that's why you got me here, right?

You're in total control.

- Am I?

- Pretty much.

- I didn't feel very in control the other night.

- You weren't.

Hey, you got anything to eat?

(Tyler giggles)

- You do this a lot?

- What, get stoned?

- No, well, yeah, get stoned, eat ice cream, whatever.

With all the guys you meet,

it sounds moderately interesting.

- Trust me, it's not.

It's usually hideous.

- Really?

That's gotta suck.

- It can.

- Mm, how do you get it up?

- Effort.

- No, seriously, how do you physically do it

when someone repulses you?

- Come over here and I'll show you.

Oh, I was kidding.

- I paid $1000 for that.

- That was a joke.

- I do though, don't I?

- Absolutely not.

- No, really, I must on some level.

- Truthfully?

- Yeah, go on.

I won't take it personally.

Well, not too personally.

- You're a breath of fresh air.

You're hot, you're clean, you've a great apartment.

You seem like a great bloke.

You're rare in this business.

- Tyler, I think I'm falling in love with you.

- What?

(Conrad chuckles)

- You think you're the only one that can fuck with people?

- No, but I should be.

- Take off your shirt.

(soft music)

Now the pants.

- There's that control thing again.

Your turn.

(soft music continues)

(soft music continues)

(soft music continues)

- Hey, why are you doing this?

- I see a lecture coming on.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm not lecturing.

I just think you're a really great guy.

- I have my reasons.

- Oh.

If you could be anything, what would you be?

- Madonna. (giggles)

Conrad, I really don't want to have this conversation.

- Why not?

- I just don't.

- Okay, I just think it's interesting.

That's all.

Like me, I wanted to be a veterinarian.

- Bloody hell, you are relentless.

- [Conrad] Well, sorry.

- No, you're not.

- You're right, I'm not.

What?

- A photographer, okay?

- There, you see, what was so hard about that?

- Why aren't you a veterinarian?

- I didn't go to school for it.

- Why not?

- Guess I was too lazy.

Some opportunities fell into my lap,

and I just couldn't give up everything I worked for.

- Why not?

- It's not that easy.

- No?

- No.

Why aren't you a photographer?

- I will be someday.

- But for now, you'll just do this?

- Look, I need the money really bad, okay.

- Okay, none of my business.

- No, it isn't, but you keep hounding me anyway, dontcha?

- Fair enough.

Sorry.

What do you need the money for?

- You've lost the point.

- Is it something bad?

- Look, you want to know?

I'll tell you.

- I'm gettin' married in a couple of weeks,

and my fiance wants a nice wedding.

(Conrad laughs)

- What?

- Yeah, you wanted to know so bad.

How's that?

- You're serious?

- Yeah.

- Jesus Christ, does she know?

- No.

- You're pretty good at this stuff.

How can you be straight?

- It's business, purely mechanical.

- Thanks.

- Yeah, you wanted to know.

- So, you didn't enjoy that at all?

- Look, when I'm with a date, I just shut down and do it.

- But you really got into that.

- Yeah, well dates with loads of money, you really put out

for hopin' they'll spend a little extra cash.

Like yourself.

(soft music)

Should I leave?

- No.

I don't know anyone that's ever been this honest with me.

- Thanks.

- No, I'm serious.

It's really impressive.

How much money do you make in a week?

- 1000.

- $1000 a week?

- Yeah, why?

- Hear me out.

I'm gonna do you a favor.

- Look, man, I don't need any favors.

- You don't have to do anything.

If you want to, I think I have a really great opportunity.

- What kind of an opportunity?

- Well, I own an advertising agency,

and we're doing a new perfume campaign for Alexis Holt.

- Yeah?

- Well, the photographer is Ted Foster,

and I think I can slide you in as an assistant.

- Ted Foster?

- [Conrad] Mm hmm.

- Wow!

What's the catch?

- Well, business is business.

I'll pay you $1000 a week.

You assist on the shoot, and twice a week,

you sleep with me at my discretion.

- For how long?

- That's entirely up to you, or me.

Neither one of us are into it, we stop.

- No hassles?

- No hassles.

- What have I got to lose?

- Just your soul.

Kidding (laughs).

(soft music)

(knuckles rapping)

- You wanted to see me?

- Yes, Michael, I'd like you to meet my friend.

- Ian, nice to meet you.

- Yes, Ian.

He'll be assisting on the Holt shoot.

- Assisting?

Assisting whom?

- Ted.

You can introduce him to everybody.

- Sure.

Ian, can I have a moment alone with Conrad, please?

- Alright, sure.

(door clicking)

- Conrad, you just can't put someone in

to assist Ted Foster.

He has his own assistant.

- Well, I'm sure we can work something out.

- That's up to Ted, you know that.

- What's the big deal?

An extra hand can't hurt.

- Yes, it can if he doesn't know what he's doing.

- Well then, maybe he can just observe.

The kid wants to be a photographer.

- Conrad, you just can't expect people to toe the line

on someone just because you're sleeping with them.

- It's not like that!

- No?

- No, he's engaged to be married, for your information.

We're not dating if that's what you're thinking.

He's just a friend that could use a break.

- These are professionals, Conrad.

- Michael, I'm not stupid.

Just use him where you can.

Jesus, I can't imagine it'll be that difficult.

- Fine.

Thanks for waiting, Ian.

- Sure, no problem.

- I'll be right back for you.

- Alright.

- Ian?

- Yeah, Tyler is my work name.

- Well, just be patient.

I think they're gonna have to find somewhere to fit you in.

This is kinda last minute, but-

- Hey, no worries.

- Just try to have fun.

- So, how do you know Conrad?

- We just met and got on well, you know?

- Just so you know, Ted is one of the biggest photographers

around, so if he tells you to do something, do it.

- Okay.

- It may take him a little while to figure out what

to do with you, but hang in there, okay?

- No worries.

- Okay.

So, anyway, here's the location of our first shoot.

And here's Ted and his assistant, Tony, right here.

- So, where's the fuckin' model?

- Ian, Ted Foster.

Ted, this is Ian.

He's gonna be helpin' out today.

- Pleased to meet you.

- So, what kind of experience do you have?

- None, really.

- Okay.

- But I'm really grateful just to observe,

and if there's anything I can do at all, just holler.

- Alright, just stand behind me, and I'll let you know.

Okay?

- Alright, cheers.

- Ted, how are ya?

- Would you mind telling me what we're supposed to do

without a fuckin' model?

(Michael chuckles)

- No, that's your department, big guy.

- No, it isn't.

- Alright, relax.

We'll handle it, alright?

Come on.

- Conrad, you wanted to see me.

- Yes, Heather.

I need you to be my eyes on the Holt shoot.

- What?

- I want you to be there from now on

and report anything you see.

- Conrad, I'm not exactly sure what you're saying.

- I'm saying that I want you to tell me everything

that happens every day.

- What about my work?

- Yes, what about your work?

Didn't you just put in for a promotion?

- Alright, alright.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Stop, stop, okay?

Relax for a minute, alright?

Okay, that's good, that's great.

Alright, right there, right there.

Leg higher please.

Put your leg higher please.

That's right, that's right.

Fuck my camera.

Here we go.

Fuck my camera.

That's right, that's right.

Okay, good, good, good, good, good, good.

Alright (laughs).

What are you doing?

What, do they pay you in one dollar bills, or what?

Come on, pay attention to what I'm doing here.

You're a fuckin' model, not a go-go dancer.

Here we go, that's right.

Okay, okay good.

Can you smile?

There we go, alright.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

Let me get this girl's shoes.

Alright, alright.

Okay, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good.

Alright, no, no, uh oh!

Alright, stop.

Jill, can you look at me while I'm shooting?

Can you pay attention to the camera?

Make love to the camera, baby.

You know what it's all about.

You've done this before, right?

You fuckin' new at this or what?

Jesus, alright, here we go, here we go, that's right.

That's it, okay, nice.

- Hey, Heather, what are you doin'?

- I have some forms for Emily to fill out.

- She'll be back any minute.

- Fine, good, just do it, okay?

- Emily, I have some papers that you-

- Check out the new guy's ass.

- Who?

- He is cute, is he straight?

- Yeah, supposedly he's engaged.

- You think he'll fuck me?

- Who wouldn't?

- Good point.

- Unprofessional.

- So, Ian, what do you think?

- It's cool.

You guys really know what you're doing.

- It's nice when you know what you're doin'.

Do you know what you're doin'?

- Excuse me?

- Let the boy be, you withered old bag.

- I thought a month in rehab would have calmed him down.

- Is that 110 year old husband of yours dead yet?

- Tomorrow.

- Good luck.

- You too, lookin' for a job.

Bye, Ian.

- Alright, people, let's get back to work.

- What just happened?

- Nothin'.

They're really good friends.

They just fuck with each other a lot.

- Jesus, I thought Ted just got fired.

- No.

- I don't care who he is, I can't work like this.

- Look, honey, for the amount of money you're making,

he could be taking pictures of you getting pissed on

by an entire Brazilian soccer team,

and you still wouldn't have the right to bitch.

- I know.

Steve, let me call you back.

What the fuck happened today?

- What do you mean?

- Don't play dumb, Ted got fired.

Don't even act like you don't know.

- Jesus Christ.

- Jesus Christ is right.

Did you think you could keep something like this from me?

You should have intervened here.

- Conrad-

- No, you should have called me right away!

- Well, you should have gotten your facts straight

before you called me in here.

Look, I can get a job anywhere,

so don't ever think you can talk to me like that.

- Now, you wait a goddamn minute.

- No, you wait a minute!

One, you are way out of line here.

Two, you haven't a clue as to what the story is.

And three, Ted and Emily bicker all the time.

Anyone that knows them knows that they're friends.

So, yeah, nobody got fired today.

- I don't know what to say.

- Sorry would be nice.

- I'm sorry.

- Yeah, well, tell your friend to get his facts straight.

(soft music)

- Hey, mornin'.

- Morning.

- Should I just observe again today?

Or can I help carry in some of the equipment?

- You're pretty good at observing.

Why don't you just stick to that?

- I just thought I could help out a little.

- Do whatever you want.

(upbeat music)

- Can somebody get me my fucking water, please?

- You don't know if it was the kid.

- Ted, who else would it be?

- What about that Heather girl?

- I doubt it.

Look, Conrad's apparently worried about that.

He put me in here to keep him up to date on everything.

- I'll tell you what, I'm getting tired of all this shit.

You guys better work it out.

- Yeah, I know.

- And why don't you tell Heather one thing

and Ian something else, and we'll see what Conrad hears.

- That's a good plan.

(upbeat music)

- What's up?

- Don't mind me, I'm kind of stressed out.

We just lost both our models for tomorrow's shoot

to food poisoning.

It's too late to get anyone else.

- Oh my god, what are you gonna do?

- I don't know, but I do know

that I'm not gonna tell Conrad.

Hey, Ian, do me a favor and tell me if you see Emily.

- No worries.

- Evidently, she's gonna pull the plug on the whole shoot.

- Why?

Can she do something like that?

- Of course she can, she's the client.

She doesn't like the way things are going.

We'll have to start over, it's gonna cost a fortune.

I hope Conrad doesn't find out.

- Can you keep something like that from him?

- I'm hoping 'cause he'll freak out.

- Hi there, Rick, what can I do for ya?

- You wanted to see me, Mr. Billings?

- No.

- Mr. Jackson said you wanted to see me.

- Hey, Conrad.

Oh, I see you and Rick are busy.

I'll just leave you two alone.

- Louis!

- You rang, Conrad?

- Oh, yeah, Michael, I don't want to step on your toes,

but I got ahold of Naomi Campbell for tomorrow.

- What do you mean?

- That'll be all, Rick.

I heard about the food poisoning.

- Oh, that?

That was nothin', we're all set.

- Oh, well, then I'm sorry again.

- No problem.

- [Conrad] Hey.

- Hey.

- How's it goin'?

- Great!

Ted is amazing.

- Good, good.

Say, why don't you go to my office, close the door,

and take off your clothes.

- Oh.

- Yeah, I don't want your honesty right now.

I'm havin' a bad day.

Go take off your clothes.

(soft music)

- Now, tell me again why I have to be here.

- I told you, my family doesn't know we split up.

- That's not my problem!

- Come on, please, just do me this favor.

It would kill them, they love you.

- Can't you just make something up?

- Pepe asked for you.

He wants to see you.

- Well, I'm doin' this for him.

- That's fine, thank you.

- So, basically, these two 16 year old kids killed

a homeless man and cut him open.

- What?

- Gutted him with a hunting knife.

- Jesus, what the hell is that all about?

- Remember about seven years ago, they found a bunch

of dead cows out in the Midwest, all of them gutted,

not a clue who did it.

Whatever happened with that?

- You smokin' that weed again?

- No (chuckles), I'm serious.

It was on the news.

- I don't know what news you're watching,

but I never heard that one.

- Cows?

- Yes, cows, they were all gutted.

- Clowns?

- Yeah Mrs. Shenkoff, clowns.

- Oh, my god.

- Yeah, the great clown massacre of '96.

- They're just tryin' to make people laugh.

- Get me the fuck out of here.

- See ya soon.

- See ya Pepe.

- What's going on with you two?

- We split up.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Did you leave him?

- Yeah.

- Just because you dumped his ass

doesn't mean you can't come visit me.

- Sure thing, Pepe.

- Go in peace.

- I'll see ya. - Yeah.

- He asked what's wrong.

- What'd you tell him?

- The truth.

- Great.

- I'm not gonna lie for you.

- Whatever.

- You know, Conrad, this is the kind

of shit I'm talking about.

- What now?

- This.

You're trying to control everything.

Just be honest for once and let yourself move on.

- Honest for once?

I've never lied to you.

- Honest with yourself.

You can't manipulate everything

just because it's not working out the way you planned.

You know, there's this really beautiful person

inside of you.

You need to get back in touch with him.

- Take me back.

- No.

- Take me back, I'll change.

- I don't believe you.

- You don't believe in second chances?

- I've given you many second chances, Conrad.

You're just not happy unless you're wreaking havoc

on someone's life, and I can't be around that anymore.

- But, I'll change, I swear.

- Prove it.

(soft music)

- Alright, try and look happy.

- What, I don't look happy?

- You look fine.

- Just take the goddamn picture.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- [Michael] How you doin'?

- Alight, Sarah, Kevin, this is Michael, my boss,

sort of.

- Sort of.

Nice to meet you.

- Hey.

- So, you two are engaged, huh?

- Yeah.

- Yes, I just love that man of mine.

- Congratulations.

- Thanks.

Well, on that note, I have to get to work.

- Yeah, me too.

- You goin' home, Ian?

- Yeah.

- Well, look, I just want to apologize for today.

I've been under a lot of stress lately,

and I've been short with a few people.

I'm normally not that big of an asshole.

- No worries.

- Okay, well, it was nice meeting you.

See you!

- See you later.

- [Kevin] See ya.

- I cannot believe the blatant faggotry that just transpired

in front of us right now.

- You think?

- Uh, please (chuckles).

He's gonna fuck his boss.

- Seriously, I felt like a prick snappin' at you

like that today.

- I told you, no worries.

You're under a lot of pressure.

Hey, you see that boat over there?

- Which one?

- That white catamaran.

- Yeah.

- My dad used to have a boat like that when we were kids.

We used to go on these great fishing trips together.

- How many brothers and sisters do you have?

- Just me and my older brother.

- How old is he?

- He's dead.

- I'm sorry.

- That's alright, he'd be 31 if he was alive.

- What happened?

- He drowned.

- Wow.

- Yeah, was a strong swimmer too.

Riptide.

- So, what brings you to the states.

- I came over to be with someone I met in Sydney,

an American, and they left me for someone else.

- You're getting married, so I guess it all worked out, huh?

- Yeah, I guess it's workin' out.

- You guess?

At least you have someone, Ian.

- Yeah.

- The city can be pretty lonely sometimes.

- Yeah.

- So, your folks gonna come to the wedding?

- No, well, ever since my brother died,

we've all kinda drifted apart.

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry.

- It's alright.

- Well, I've taken too much of your time.

I'll see ya tomorrow?

- Alright, see ya.

- I'll see ya.

- Alright, it was nice talkin' to you.

(soft music)

- Look, I thought you said Ted

was meeting us out for dinner.

- Yeah, it's supposed to be everyone.

He's always late.

- So is everybody else, I guess.

- Let me check my messages.

(upbeat music)

He forgot to call me.

He wants us to meet him at Spank.

- Spank?

- Yeah, it's this hardcore S&M club downtown.

He's thinkin' of shootin' somethin' there.

- Fine, should we go?

- Finish your drink.

(upbeat music)

- Well, look what the cat dragged in.

- Hey, Darth.

- How you doin', man?

- This is Heather.

- Darth as in Vader?

- Hmm, check out the cage.

- Can we wait outside?

- Ted will be here in a minute.

He wants to shoot a bunch of girls in swimwear

all in a cage.

- Sounds like fun.

This place is gross.

- Get in the cage.

- Yeah, okay.

- Seriously, it'll be fun.

- Fun for who?

- Come on, how many times in your life can you say

you were in a cage at Spank?

- Oh, good point.

- Want to jump in?

- [Heather] Not really.

- Come on, I brought my camera, take a couple of shots.

You can use them for Christmas cards this year.

- Actually, that does sound pretty funny.

- That's the spirit.

(Heather pretends to scream)

- Is that really necessary?

I promise I won't try to escape.

- [Darth] Yeah, that's what you say now.

- Ah!

Hey, do you spell Spank with an exclamation point?

- [Darth] Why?

- Because if you spelled it with an exclamation point,

it would go from Spank to Spank! (cheers)

(Heather giggles)

- It's all good?

- Looks good.

- I'll see you in a couple months, right?

- Yeah, okay.

- Awesome.

- Thanks.

- Okay, I'm done.

Hello?

(upbeat music)

- Heather, next time, keep your mouth shut.

- What?

Okay, this is no longer amusing.

Somebody open up the fucking door now!

- [Michael] Ian!

- Yeah?

- [Michael] Hey.

- Hey, good morning.

- Mornin', look I just got off the phone with Ted,

and Tony didn't show up for work today.

No one can reach him.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, so he wants to know if you want

to assist on the shoot.

You up for it?

- Are you serious?

- Yep.

- Yeah.

- Look, we're gonna be here all day, so I want you

to stay on your toes, alright?

- Sure.

- Okay, great, I'll see ya.

- Alright, cheers.

Yes!

- Okay, turn, turn, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay, that's it, that's it.

Okay, good, if you can just rotate the top of your body

like that, yeah, like you're a little mermaid,

slinky fish slut.

Yeah, that's it, yeah, fuck me.

Oh, nice, alright, alright!

You're the mermaid, you're the Little Mermaid.

Oh, that's it.

You're the Little Virgin Slut Mermaid.

That's it, that's it, fuck the camera.

You're selling perfume, though.

Don't forget that.

Don't just be a slut because you are one.

- Fuck!

(record scratches)

Don't you fucking talk to me like that, okay!

What the fuck do you think I'm doing in here?

I'm fucking freezing!

Fuck. (speaking foreign language)

Get me the fuck out of here, alright?

Get me the fuck out of here!

Shit!

(Ted mocks crying)

Fuck!

- Hey, where you goin'?

(birds squawking)

- Hey. - Hey.

- Great day today.

- Yeah, it's beautiful.

- No, I mean work-wise.

Ted was really impressed.

- Really?

- Really.

- It's like the best day I've had in forever.

Hey, by the way, Sarah's not really my girlfriend.

I mean, we are getting married and all,

but it's just so I can stay in the country.

- I kinda figured that.

- Why's that?

- 'Cause you're a big fag.

- Oh, that (chuckles).

- So, are you marrying Sarah to stay

with that guy from Sydney?

- No, well, originally yeah.

Now, I just feel like I have a life here.

- You think you might stay here awhile?

- Yeah, this is my home now.

There's nothing for me back in Sydney.

- What about your family?

- Ever since my brother died, my folks just kind of lost it.

Really can't be around each other right now.

- So, are you still with that guy from Sydney?

- No, I've been single for over a year now.

- Can I take you to dinner?

- Bloody hell, don't beat around the bush, Michael.

Just get to the point.

- Never.

- I haven't dated anyone in a long time.

I'm kinda pulling myself out of a bit of a rough patch

in my life right now.

- And?

- My life's kinda fucked up right now.

- I have a feeling that's about to change.

(soft music)

♪ I'm different ♪

♪ Yet still the same ♪

- So, what's so fucked up about your life?

- Why don't we talk about your life for awhile, Michael?

- There's not much to tell.

- Yeah, I doubt that.

- Alright, I'm from Georgia.

I have a sister and a mother.

My dad has passed away.

We're a close family.

Lived in New York five years.

I'm a Libra, and I want to see you naked very badly.

- What's a Libra? (laughing)

- I'm serious, come home with me.

- Not tonight.

- When?

- When it's right.

- Feels right.

- There's a lot you don't know about me, Michael.

- What, are you a mass murderer?

- Sort of, in training.

- Ian, you have this innocence about you.

It drives me crazy.

- Trust me, I'm not innocent.

- Prove it.

♪ Don't wait for a light from up above ♪

♪ I am here, you are there ♪

- Come home with me.

- Not tonight.

- Tomorrow?

- We'll see.

Good morning.

- Good morning.

- I just wanted to stop by and thank you.

- For?

- For the opportunity.

You have no idea how much this all has helped me.

- Good, I'm glad.

- Yeah, I'm quitting.

- Quitting?

- Yeah, the business, this whole thing with you.

I'm gettin' my life together.

- Oh, when did you decide this?

- Yesterday.

- [Conrad] Oh.

- Yeah, well, I've gotta run.

Thanks again, Conrad.

- You're welcome.

- So, that's how you were making money for the wedding?

- You wanted a lot of money, Sarah.

- Jesus, Ian, You should have said something.

I never would have let you do that.

- How else was I gonna come up with 10 thousand dollars

as an illegal alien in New York?

- I don't need any amount of money that bad.

Neither do you.

- I don't regret it.

I want to live here.

- You just don't want to go home.

- What's the diff?

It's my home now anyway.

- I don't know what to say.

- I don't want you to say anything.

- I just want to tell my friends the truth and move on.

- I'm sorry.

- Don't be.

I've thought about this.

- [Michael] There you are.

- Hey.

- [Michael] Hey.

Am I interrupting?

- No, not at all.

Grab a seat.

- No, that's okay.

Look, I have been combing the streets looking for you.

- Why?

- Can I drag you out of the city for today?

- What?

- I have a place upstate.

We'll be back tomorrow.

Oh, and before I forget, Sarah are you busy Friday?

- No.

- [Michael] We're throwing a little party together for work,

and you're invited.

- Sure.

- Great.

So, will you come?

- Okay, what time?

- I'll pick you up around three o'clock.

Is that good?

- Sure.

- Great, alright, see you then.

- See ya.

- [Michael] Bye.

- Are you gonna tell him?

- Yeah.

- I don't know.

- I do.

I'd rather him hear it from me rather than comin' up

from someone else down the line.

- I hope you know what you're doing.

(knuckles rapping)

- [Conrad] Hey.

- Conrad, what are you doing here?

- Can I come in?

- It's not really a good time now.

- Why, do you have somebody in there?

- Yes, I do.

- Shit, man, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- [Martin] Conrad.

Conrad.

It's been three months.

What am I supposed to dry up and die?

- Yes, I have.

- That's you.

Your life is at a standstill, not mine.

- I haven't even been on a date.

- So, you do what you want.

- You sure are.

- Bullseye.

You think that just be-

(elevator whirring)

(buttons click)

- This is just perfect!

- Hey, no one asked you to come over here.

- Martin, you know what your problem is-

- Hey!

Both of you all shut the fuck up!

While we stuck in this elevator,

there will be no shoutin', okay?

You all want to continue conversatin', do it peaceably,

'cause this is just too close in here,

and I will freak the fuck out, okay?

- Don't test her.

- It's so beautiful up here.

- Yeah, I come here a lot to get out of the city.

- You're lucky.

- I think so too.

- Michael, there's something I've gotta tell you.

- What, that deep, dark secret?

- Yeah.

You see, I-

(phone rings)

- I didn't know anyone knew I was out here.

Do you mind?

- No, of course not.

(phone beeping)

- Hello?

Yeah, what's up?

Yeah.

For what?

Are you serious?

Get the fuck out!

Are they sure it was him?

No kidding.

She's alright though, right?

Jesus, no, no, no, no.

Alright, I'll talk to you later.

Thanks.

(phone beeping)

Listen to this.

Do you know how Tony wasn't there yesterday?

- Yeah.

- It's because the police were after him.

It seems he sold Heather to white slavery.

- You're joking?

- No, that was Emily.

Apparently, it wasn't the first time, either.

Luckily for Heather, the police were tailing him.

- No way!

- Jesus, you think you have problems

until you hear something like that.

- Because it's like the same conversation over and over.

- I just don't see it that way.

- You never see it any other way unless it suits you.

- That's not true.

- Not only is it true, but it's the norm.

You go out of your way to fuck with people.

- Okay, give me an example.

- I can give you 90 examples.

- Yeah, right.

- Okay, what about when we went to see the Dalai Lama speak

in Central Park?

- Yeah?

- Yeah, and the woman who was sitting in front of us,

who couldn't have moved her blanket even if she wanted to,

who you kicked repeatedly and pretended it was an accident

until eventually she had to get up and leave?

- I didn't think she was being very accommodating.

I thought she was being a bitch.

- They were there to see the Dalai Lama.

40,000 people there to listen to a speech

about peace and love, and you're kicking some woman

because she wouldn't move her blanket?

- Dalai Lama spoke at Central Park?

- [Martin] Yes.

- Let me tell you, I loved him on "Falcon Crest."

- Girl, you so stupid!

That's Lorenzo Lama.

- Dalai Lama his grandfather.

- You were saying?

- I don't want to sleep alone tonight.

- Michael, I have to-

(Michael shushes)

- This isn't about sex.

I like gettin' to know you.

We can sleep together.

Underwear on, I promise I won't try anything funny

unless you try something funny first.

Then, all bets are off.

I like you, you know?

You're comfy.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- It's weird.

I feel like I know you, but I really don't.

- I know.

- It's like "Pretty Woman,"

the way it always seemed natural that Richard Gere

would marry Julia Roberts.

I mean, you really believe they knew each other,

but when you think about it,

one, she's a prostitute,

and two, they've only known each other a week.

- It makes no sense.

- It was still fun, though.

- Yeah, it was.

(soft music)

- The whole point of sleeping with someone

is waking up with them.

- I couldn't sleep.

Would it be an inconvenience to drive back today?

There's a couple of things in town

I've got to do this morning.

- No, you want some breakfast first?

- Nah, I'm good.

- What's wrong?

- Nothin'.

- I almost forgot, with all the excitement last night,

you never got to tell me about your big secret.

- It's nothin', some other time.

- Okay.

Ian, what's wrong?

- Nothin'.

- Well, you're acting like something's wrong.

- It's just a little too much too soon, you know?

- Well, then just say so.

I'll slow down.

Just, I like you, that's all.

- You keep saying that, but you don't even know me, do ya?

- Fine, I like what little I do know.

Better?

- Fine.

- Look I'm gettin' dressed.

No, I'm just gonna say one thing.

I may not know you that well,

but I definitely feel something here.

And don't tell me you don't either.

Now, I'm getting dressed.

- Michael!

I'm sorry.

I'm just a little overwhelmed, you know?

- Yeah, I know.

♪ I can fight this feeling ♪

♪ If you want me to ♪

♪ Ask of me ♪

♪ Ask of me ♪

- Sorry for ruining your date.

- No, you're not.

- You're right, I'm not.

It's probably the happiest I've been in weeks.

I'm actually glad we were stuck on that elevator

for three hours.

- At least you're honest.

- See, I'm just lettin' it all happen.

I'm not trying to control anything.

It's a whole new me, really.

- Why is this happening?

- 'Cause it's supposed to.

Martin, you're the only one that sets me straight.

You're my family, you're my life.

- All that?

- And a bag of chips.

- Well, there's gonna be some fuckin' changes.

- I'll do whatever it takes.

I'll get electric shock treatments.

- You need electric shock treatments.

- I'll get the Chinese water torture.

- Shut up!

I missed you.

- Are you sure you want to go in?

- No, but Ted called me and asked me to come.

- Ian, just tell Michael and get it over with.

What's the difference if you tell him

and he doesn't want to see you,

or you end up pushing him away and never see him again?

- You're right.

- I know.

- Ian, hey, I'm glad you came.

- Hey, Ted, how are ya?

- Good.

- This is my friend, Sarah, Ted.

- Hi.

- Nice to meet you.

- Is this your girlfriend?

- No, just a friend.

- Oh, thank god.

- Excuse me?

- Let me get you a drink.

Oh, Ian, I wanted to ask you,

how would you feel about taking over in Tony's place?

- As your assistant?

- No, as my personal masseuse.

Of course, as my assistant.

- Yes.

- Alright, well, we'll talk about it later,

like maybe lunch this weekend, alright?

- Sure.

- Check out the band.

- I will, I will, definitely will.

Hey.

- [Ian] Hi.

- I didn't think you were gonna come.

- I wanted to talk to you.

- Maria, this is Ian, Ian, this is Maria.

- Hi, nice to meet you.

- Hi, how are you?

- I'm going to get a drink.

I will talk to you later.

- Okay, I want to hear more about that.

- I'm sorry for acting like such a freak, Michael.

- It's okay, try not to make it a habit, though.

- I am so glad you two are back together again.

Maybe now, Conrad can stop acting like an asshole.

- We are not back together, we're talking things out.

- Whatever, I think it's a good thing.

- Oh, he'll come around.

- I'm gonna get some more brie.

- Oh, get some of those stuffed mushroom thingies.

- So, how did you manage that?

- We got stuck in his elevator for three hours.

Then, we stayed up all night talking.

- Oh, good, so what are you going to do about him?

- Nothing, he quit.

- Mm-hmm, looks like he's workin' on sugar daddy number two.

- I don't think he's like that.

- Neither does his momma, but he still charges 200 bucks

to fuck his ass.

- Jesus, Louis.

- Thank god the police arrived when they did.

If they waited another hour, I would be

in Saudi Arabia right now.

- Did you have to fuck anyone?

- No, but I did give my number to one of the cops.

- Look, I just gotta tell ya, I've been thinkin'

about you and me, and I know we just met,

but I really feel like we have something here.

I mean, I haven't felt a connection with anyone

in so long, I forgot what it felt like.

- I know, me too.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- So, if you're scared, I'm sorry, but I don't feel

like we're rushing it.

- Michael, we're on the same page.

I just haven't let myself like anyone in so long.

I'm just a little freaked out is all.

- A little?

- Okay, I deserve it.

- I want to make love to you.

- Right now?

- Yes, is that a problem?

- No, I just thought we could do it over there

by the buffet.

You know, make a real statement.

- Seriously, come home with me.

- Okay, but just let me tell you something first.

- Okay.

- Michael, will you come over here please?

I'm trying to explain your concept for the spring campaign

to Trina Wilson, and I'm fucking it up.

- Okay, I'll be right there.

- What are you two doing.

- Nothing, thanks to you.

- Well, if I'm not gettin' any, no one's gettin' any.

- [Michael] Hold that thought, Ian.

Be right back.

- Yes, I've already been approached for a book deal.

- That is so cool, you make white slavery

seem almost glamorous.

- I know, why don't you go get your own plate.

- 'Cause I like eating off of yours.

- No shit!

- Mr. Billings.

- Rick, what brings you here?

- Louis said you wanted to see me.

- Rick, Louis isn't right in the head.

I'm gonna have to fire him, seriously.

- For real?

- For real, but please, make yourself at home.

- Well, sure, thanks.

- Who was that?

- Rick, the janitor.

Long story.

- Conrad.

- Ian, how are you?

- Great, just wanted to thank you for your help.

It's been a fantastic opportunity.

- No problem.

- What opportunity?

- Oh, I gave him a job.

Now, Ted Foster wants him to be his new assistant.

- That's great, congrats!

- Thanks.

- Hi, I'm Martin

- Ian.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Hey, here's Ted now.

Ted, we were just talking to your new assistant.

- Hey, guys.

Martin, great to see you.

- [Martin] Ted.

- This is Sarah.

Is it true?

- What?

- Is it?

- Is what true?

- I just wanted to hear it out of your mouth.

- I tried to tell you.

- He's all yours, Conrad.

- Why'd you tell him?

I wish I'd never met you.

- What did you do?

- I didn't say-

- They all thinkin' is that you are an asshole.

- Is this what you mean by changing?

- I didn't say anything.

- Yeah, who did?

- I did.

I didn't know they had something going on,

and I thought it was just kind of fun gossip, you know.

- Will someone tell me what's going on?

- Martin, can I speak to you in private please?

- [Sarah] Ian, Ian wait.

- What?

- I'm sorry.

- I should have known.

- No, you shouldn't have.

- Please.

Fuck this, I'm goin' home.

- Yeah, let's go.

- No, I mean Australia.

- Ian, you don't mean that.

- No?

Jesus, I feel so fucking low right now.

(soft music)

- I didn't do anything wrong.

- Somehow, I think you're leaving something out.

- That's not fair.

- Oh, please.

- Did I give you shit for dating other people?

- [Martin] You said you haven't dated at all!

- I haven't.

- Oh, that's right, you just paid for it.

- I paid for it because it was sex, that's all.

I couldn't bring myself to date anyone just yet.

- I did not ask you to wait for me.

- I didn't have a choice, I need you.

- Conrad, I gotta get home.

- No, you owe me an apology.

- What?

- You heard me.

- For what?

- You automatically assumed I was

behind all that shit last night.

You were wrong.

- Can you blame me?

- Martin! (scoffing)

I'm trying.

- I know.

♪ Don't make promises tonight ♪

♪ Maybe you'll feel like you should ♪

♪ But words aren't any good ♪

♪ Tomorrow will judge wrong or right ♪

♪ But that we're both here ♪

(knuckles rapping)

- What?

- Can I come in for a sec?

- No.

- Okay, fair enough.

I just thought you should know that Ian quit.

I guess he didn't want to do that anymore,

and I guess he just really needed the money.

- And? - And I just thought

you should know he's a really nice guy.

- You expect me to believe you hired him

because he's a really nice guy?

- No, I hired him because anyone that meets him knows

he shouldn't be a hustler.

And you know it too.

- Is that all?

- Yeah.

(soft music)

(doorbell rings)

(doorbell rings)

- Yeah, who is it?

- [Michael] It's me.

- Oh, yeah, hang on.

(upbeat music)

Hey.

- Hey.

Can I come in?

- Yeah, come in.

- Look, I- - No, I-

- [Michael] You first.

- No, go ahead.

I tried to tell you.

- I know, I guess I freaked out a little.

How long have you been doin' that?

- A few months.

- Can I ask why?

- Well, when Douglas left me, I was determined

to get him back.

I was gonna get a good job, maybe get my degree,

show him I didn't need him anymore,

but without him, I didn't have anything.

- Ian, that is not true.

- Yes, it is.

I came here to be with him,

and because I was an illegal alien,

I couldn't work anywhere.

I couldn't go to school anywhere.

My options were to go home, or marry a woman.

- And you couldn't get a sponsor to work here?

- Not without some special skill.

So, I met Sarah, and she wanted $10,000

to get married.

So, I needed the money.

- I thought she was your friend.

- She is!

But not back then.

She didn't know about any of this.

- Look, Ian, I'm sorry if I made you feel like-

- No, I'm sorry.

Fuckin' hell.

I should have found some way to tell you.

- I should go.

- Oh, yeah, alright.

- I'll see ya.

- See ya.

(soft music)

(knuckles rapping)

- Look, everyone does some fucked up shit

every now and then, right?

That's what it's about.

Live and learn, right?

- What kind of fucked up shit have you done?

- Well, I knew this guy in college, Tony Centrilla,

and well, he went out and got drunk one night

and passed out.

I sucked him off while he was asleep.

I know what you're thinking, and you're right,

but it's not like I'm a serial rapist or anything.

- Why are you telling me this?

- I just,

I just want you to know I'm not gonna judge you.

I'm not perfect, you know, nobody is.

(soft music)

Is it getting hot in here?

- Michael.

- Yeah?

- Thanks.

- So, you wanna go out some time?

- Sure.

- I was thinkin' we could grab a movie

or roll around naked or something.

- Or something?

- Seriously, Ian, I'm sorry about last night.

- It's okay.

I can think of a couple of ways you can make it up to me.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

(upbeat R&B music)

♪ That days that way ♪

♪ I like your ways ♪

♪ Caring, sharing ♪

♪ No sense comparing ♪

♪ Understanding ♪

♪ You need planning ♪

♪ We'll be okay, we'll find a way to be in love ♪

♪ Let others play those games ♪

♪ We are not the same ♪

♪ Sometimes people change ♪

♪ But the truth will remain ♪

♪ Now I don't need no more ♪

♪ Than I am asking for ♪

♪ I can never be so sure ♪

♪ Because you are the one ♪

♪ The one ♪

♪ Simplicity ♪

♪ Knowing you're the one for me ♪

♪ One ♪

♪ The one ♪

♪ Simplicity ♪

♪ The only choice for you and me ♪

♪ One ♪

♪ The one ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Love me, hating ♪

♪ No more waiting ♪

♪ Singing ♪

♪ Leather is all I'm after ♪

♪ Loving, hating ♪

♪ Won't bare deceiving ♪

♪ We'll be okay with either way ♪

♪ We'll be in love ♪

♪ Let others play those games ♪

♪ We are not the same ♪

♪ I don't mind the rain ♪

♪ It relieves the pain ♪

♪ And I don't need no more ♪

♪ Than I am asking for ♪

♪ I can never be so sure ♪

♪ Because you are the ♪

♪ Simple over mine ♪

♪ Simple choice refined ♪

♪ Just a way to appreciate when we have better times ♪

♪ So have no fear ♪

♪ Just hold on ♪

♪ All because you are the one ♪

♪ You are the one ♪

♪ The one, the one ♪