Original subtitles

(newsreader) September 1 939. Ominous clouds of war gather over Europe.

But here in Navarre, the King, seen here returning from military manoeuvres,...

..has announced an audacious plan for himself and his court.

He and his companions will cast off their military uniforms, while events allow,...

..and devote themselves to three years' study. That's right - three years.

They'll sleep little, eat less, and devote themselves instead to self-improvement:

..a real feast for bookworms.

Boldest is the King's insistence that no women will be allowed inside the court.

Sorry, ladies, but he is the king.

There is just one exception: Madam Holofernia, the King's principal tutor.

With Sir Nathaniel taking care of the men's spiritual health,...

..they'll have all they need to distract themselves from thoughts of romance.

Whoops! Careful, sir.

lt's a tall order, but this able monarch, one of Europe's most eligible bachelors,..

..wants to show the world there's more to life than warfare.

He's an idealist, but we wish him and his three chums the best.

More news as the adventure unfolds,...

..but for now we wish them bon voyage and good luck.

You three,...

..Berowne,...

..Dumaine...

..and Longaville,...

..Have sworn for three years' term to live with me,...

..My fellow-scholars,...

..and to keep those statutes That are recorded in this... schedule here.

Your oaths are passed, and now subscribe your names,...

..That his own hand may strike his honour down...

..That violates the smallest branch herein.

lf you are armed to do as sworn to do,...

..Subscribe to your deep oaths,...

..and keep it too.

l am resolved:

..'tis but a three years' fast.

The mind shall banquet...

..though the body pine.

To love, to wealth, to pomp, l pine and die,...

..With all these living in philosophy.

So much, dear liege, l have already sworn,...

..That is, to live and study here three years.

But there are other strict observances:

..As not to see a woman in that term,...

..And one day in a week to touch no food,...

..And but one meal on every day besides.

And then to sleep but three hours in the night,...

..And not be seen to yawn of all the day.

(laughs)

O,...

..these are barren tasks, too hard to keep:

..Not to see ladies, study, fast, not sleep!

Your oath is passed to pass away from these.

Let me say no, an if you please. l only swore to study with your grace...

..And stay here in your court for three years' space.

You swore to that, Berowne, and to the rest.

By yea and nay, sir, then l swore in jest.

What is the end of study, let me know?

Why, that to know which else we should not know.

Things hid and barred from common sense?

Ay, that is study's god-like recompense.

As thus, to study where l well may dine, When l to feast expressly am forbid;

..Or study where to meet some mistress fine,...

..When mistresses from common sense are hid.

These be the stops that hinder study quite...

..And train our intellects to vain delight.

Why, all delights are vain!

### l've seen for days that you've got some ways that must be checked

### ln you l never can detect

### The slightest sign of intellect

### You're mad on dances, think of the chances you neglect

### You never seem inclined to use your mind

### You're just a fella who has got his brains in his dancing shoes

### Take a lesson from me

### l'd rather charleston

### Di-di do-do

### Think of what you might be

### l'd rather charleston

### Do-doop di-do

### l'm disappointed in you and your ways

### l'm double-jointed, there's no sensation like syncopation

### Will you let me know why?

### l'd rather charleston

### Charleston?

### That's the sort of thing l would never do, so

### Leave it behind and give your mind to something new

### l'd rather charleston, charleston

### Charleston, charleston

### Charleston with you!

Well, sit you out.

Go home, Berowne: adieu.

No, my good lord, l have sworn to stay with you.

But there are other strict observances:

''..That no woman shall come within a mile of my court''?

- Hath this been proclaimed? - Four days ago.

Let's see the penalty.

''On pain of losing her tongue''!

- Who devised this penalty? - Marry, that did l.

Sweet lord, and why?

To fright them hence with the dread penalty.

A dangerous law against gentility.

''ltem. lf any man be seen to talk with a woman within the term of three years,...

..he shall endure such public shame as the rest of the court can possible devise.''

This article, my liege, yourself must break For well you know...

..here comes in embassy the French King's daughter with yourself to speak -

..A maid of grace and complete majesty -

..About surrender up of Aquitaine To her decrepit, sick and bedrid father.

Therefore this article is made in vain,...

..Or vainly comes th'admired Princess hither.

(all gasp)

What say you, lords? Why, this was quite forgot.

We must of force dispense with this decree. She must lie here on mere...

..necessity.

Necessity will make us all forsworn 3,000 times within this three years' space;

..For every man with his affects is born,...

..Not by might mastered, but by special grace.

lf l break faith, this word shall speak for me: l am forsworn ''on mere necessity''.

So to the laws at large l write my name,...

..And he that breaks them in the least degree...

..Stands in attainder of eternal shame.

Suggestions are to others as to me;

..But l believe, although l seem so loath,...

..l am the last...

..that will last break...

..his oath.

Good Boyet, You are not ignorant all-telling fame...

..Doth noise abroad Navarre hath made a vow,...

..Till painful study shall outwear three years,...

..No woman may approach his silent court.

Therefore to's it seemeth a needful course,...

..Before we enter his forbidden gates, To know his pleasure and in that behalf,...

..Bold of your worthiness, we single you As our best-moving fair solicitor.

(laughs)

Tell him the daughter of the King of France,...

..On serious business, craving quick dispatch,...

..lmportunes personal conference with his grace.

Proud of employment, willingly l go.

All pride is willing pride, and yours is so.

Who are the votaries, my maids,...

..That are vow-fellows with this virtuous Duke?

Lord Longaville is one.

- Know you the man? - l know him, madam.

At a marriage feast ln Normandy, saw l this Longaville.

- Who are the rest? - The young Dumaine.

- l saw him at the Duke Alencon's once. - (giggling)

Another of these students at that time Was there with him,...

..if l have heard a truth.

Berowne they call him.

God bless my ladies! Are they all in love?

(all giggle)

- Here comes Boyet. - What admittance, lord?

Navarre had notice of your fair approach, And he and his competitors in oath...

..Were all addressed to meet you, gentle lady, before l came.

Marry, thus much have l learned:

..He rather means to lodge you... in the field.

Fair Princess, welcome to the court of Navarre.

''Fair'' l give you back again, and ''welcome'' l have not yet.

The roof of this court is too high to be yours,...

..and welcome to the wide fields too base to be mine.

You shall be welcome, madam, to my court.

l will be welcome then. Conduct me thither.

Hear me, dear lady: l have sworn an oath.

Our Lady help my lord! He'll be forsworn.

Not for the world, by my will.

- Will shall break it; will, and nothing else. - Your ladyship is ignorant what it is.

Were my lord so, his ignorance were wise.

'Tis deadly sin to keep that oath, my lord, And sin to break it.

But pardon me, l am too sudden bold; To teach a teacher ill beseemeth me.

Vouchsafe to read the purpose of my coming...

- ..And suddenly resolve me in my suit. - Madam, l will, if suddenly l may.

You will the sooner that l were away, for you'll prove perjured if you make me stay.

Sir,...

..l pray you... a word.

What lady is that same?

(Boyet) The heir of Alencon, Katherine her name.

A gallant lady.

Monsieur, fare you well.

Katherine.

l beseech you a word. What is she in the green?

A woman sometimes, if by daylight she's seen.

Pray you, sir, whose daughter?

- Her mother's, l have heard. - God's blessing on your beard!

Good sir, be not offended. She is an heir of Falconbridge.

Nay,...

..my choler is ended.

She...

..is a most... sweet lady.

Not unlike, sir, that may be.

- What's her name in the cap? - Rosaline, by good hap.

ls she wedded or no?

To her will sir, or so.

O, you are welcome, sir.

Adieu.

Farewell to me, sir,...

..and welcome to you.

Madam, your father here doth intimate The payment of 100,000 crowns,...

..Being but the one half of an entire sum Disbursed by my father in his wars.

But say that he or we - as neither have - Received that sum,...

..yet there remains unpaid 100,000 more.

You do the King my father too much wrong...

..And wrong the reputation of your name,...

..ln so unseeming to confess receipt Of that which hath so faithfully been paid.

l never heard of it.

lf you prove it, l'll repay it back Or yield up Aquitaine.

We arrest your word.

Boyet, you can produce acquittances For such a sum.

Satisfy me so.

So please your grace, the packet is not come...

..Where that and other specialties are bound.

Tomorrow you shall have a sight of them.

lt shall suffice me.

Meantime,...

..receive such welcome at my hand As honour, without breach of honour, may

..Make tender of to thy true worthiness.

You may not come, fair Princess, within my gates,...

..But here without you shall be so received...

..As you shall deem yourself lodged in my heart.

Tomorrow shall we visit you again.

Did not l dance with you in Brabant once?

Did not l dance with you in Brabant once?

l know you did.

How needless was it then To ask the question!

### l won't dance Don't ask me

### l won't dance Don't ask me

### l won't dance

### Monsieur, with you

### My heart won't let my feet do things they should do

### You know what? You're lovely

### And so what, l'm lovely

### But, oh, what you do to me

### l'm like an ocean wave that's bumped on the shore

### l feel so absolutely stumped on the floor

### When you dance you're charming and you're gentle

### Specially when you do the continental

### But this feeling isn't purely mental

### For heaven rest us l'm not asbestos

### And that's why

### l won't dance Why should l?

### l won't dance How could l?

### l won't dance Merci beaucoup

### l know that music leads the way to romance

### So if l hold you in my arms

### l won't dance!

(giggling)

lf my observation, which very seldom lies...

..By the heart's still rhetoric disclosed with eyes,...

..Deceive me not now, Navarre is infected.

With what?

With that which we lovers entitle ''affected''.

Your reason?

His face's own margin did quote such amazes...

..That all eyes saw his eyes enchanted with gazes.

l'll give you Aquitaine, and all that is his,...

..An you give him for my sake but one loving kiss.

(women squeal)

Come, to our pavilion. Boyet is disposed!

But to speak that in words which his eye hath disclosed.

l only have made a mouth of his eye By adding a tongue...

..which l know will not lie.

Thou art an old love-monger, and speakest skilfully.

- Do you hear, my mad wenches? - No.

- What then, do you see? - Ay,...

..our way to be gone.

You are too hard for me.

(newsreader) The Princess of France enjoys a taste of the outdoors tonight.

All women are banned from the court, and Her Royal Highness is no exception.

lt means a night under canvas for the ladies.

The King's proclamation makes life tricky for the people of Navarre.

Oh-oh, trouble's afoot.

Look at this motley crew. They're led by the fantastical Spaniard Don Armado.

His heart may be in the right place, but his language is all over the place!

Loyally he follows the King.

lt's just unfortunate that when he speaks the King can't always follow Armado.

Thank goodness for his trusty page Moth.

These two have brought a criminal to book.

And l'll wager if there's trouble in store, that rascal Costard is involved.

He's the King's resident comedian...

..and has played the vaudeville houses from Broadway to Baden-Baden.

He's also known to play it fast and loose with the ladies. Watch out, girls.

Whatever's wrong, the King can rely on Constable Dull, who always gets his man.

Or, in this case, something different,...

..if that paper bag is hiding what we think it is.

ln any case, it's another headache for the King.

Let the trial begin.

(clears throat and whistles)

The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta.

(honks)

The manner of it is, l was taken with the manner.

- ln what manner? - ln manner and form following, sir.

l was seen with her in the manor-house,...

..sitting with her upon the form, and taken following her into the park,...

..which, put together, is ''in manner and form following''.

(heavy accent) From the west corner of thy curious-knotted garden.

There did l see that low-spirited swain, that base minnow of thy mirth...

- Me? - That unlettered, small-knowing soul...

- Me? - That shallow vassal...

- Still me? - Which, as l remember, is Costard.

O, me!

Sorted and consorted,...

..contrary to thy established proclaimed edict and continent canon,...

..with... with...

..O, with - but with this l passion to say wherewith...

- With a wench. - With a child...

..of our grandmother Eve, a female,...

..or, for thy more sweet understanding,...

(screams)

..a woman.

l, as my ever-esteemed duty pricks me on, have brought to thee,...

..to receive the meed of punishment, by thy good grace's officer, Anthony Dull,...

..a man of good repute, carriage, bearing and estimathion.

O, me. l am Dull.

For Jaquenetta, so is the weaker vessel called...

..which l apprehended with the aforesaid swain,...

..l keep her... (sighs)

..as a vessel of thy law's fury,...

..and shall, at the least of thy sweet notice, bring her to trial.

Thine in all compliments of devoted and heartburning heat of duty,...

..Don Adriano de Armado!

Sirrah, what say you to this?

Sir, l...l...l...

(laughs)

- l... Whoa! l confess the wench. - Did you hear the proclamation?

l do confess much of the hearing it, but little of the marking of it.

A year's imprisonment to be taken with a wench.

l was taken with none, sir; l was taken with a damsel.

lt was proclaimed damsel.

This was no damsel neither, sir; she was a virgin.

lt is so varied too, for it was proclaimed virgin.

lf it were, l deny her virginity: l was taken with a maid.

- This maid will not serve your turn, sir. - This maid will serve my turn, sir.

(exasperated grunt)

Sir, l will pronounce your sentence:

..you shall fast a week with bran and water.

l'd rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.

- And Don Armado shall be your keeper. - (groans)

(newsreader) The situation in Europe is worsening,...

..with news of mobilisation of troops on the French borders.

Reports say that the peace accord, agreed between the two countries,...

..is in danger of collapse.

(ladies giggling)

Boy,...

..what sign is it when a man of great spirit grows melancholy?

A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.

Pretty and apt.

l have promised to study three years with the King.

But you are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.

l confess both.

They are both the varnish of a complete man.

A most fine figure!

(groans)

l will hereupon confess...

..l am in love.

And as it is base for a soldier to love,...

..so am l in love with a base wench.

Boy, l do love that country girl that l took in the park...

..with the rational hind Costard.

(screeches in pain)

Sing, boy.

My spirit grows heavy in love.

### My story is much too sad to be told

### But practically everything leaves me totally cold

### The only exception l know is the case

### When l'm out on a quiet spree

### Fighting vainly the old ennui

### And l suddenly turn and see

### Your fabulous face

### l get no kick from champagne

### Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all

### So tell me, why should it be true

### That l get a kick out of you?

### l get no kick from cocaine

### l'm sure that if l took even one sniff

### That would bore me terrifically, too

(sneezes)

### Yet l get a kick out of you

- (stubs out cigar) - (screams)

### l get a kick

### Every time l see you

### Standing there before me

### l get a kick though it's clear to me

### You obviously don't adore me

### l get no kick in a plane

### Flying too high with some girl in the sky

- (Moth) Argh! - ### lt's my idea of nothing to do

### Yet l get a kick

### l'm sure it's a kick

### l get a kick out of you

Sir,...

..the King's pleasure is that you keep Costard safe;

..and you must suffer him to take no delight,...

..but he must fast... three days a week.

For this damsel, l must keep her at the lodge.

- Fare thee well. - Psst!

- Maid. - Man.

l will visit thee at the lodge.

- That's hereby. - l know where it is situate.

Lord, how wise you are!

l shall tell thee wonders.

With that face?

l... love thee.

So...

..l heard you say.

(moans)

(bear giggles)

### l wake up every morning with a smile on my face

### Everything in its place, as it should be

### l start out every morning, just as free as the breeze

### My cares up on the shelf because l find myself

### With no strings, no connections

### No ties to my affections

### l'm fancy-free and free for anything fancy

### No dates that can't be broken

### No words that can't be spoken

### Especially when l am feeling romancey

### Like a robin upon a tree

### Like a sailor that goes to sea

### Like an unwritten melody

### l'm free, that's me

### Bring on the big attraction

### My decks are cleared for action

### l'm fancy-free and free for anything fancy

### Bring on the big attraction

### My decks are cleared for action

### l'm fancy-free and free for anything fancy

(screaming)

(Armado) Sirrah?

- Costard! - (screams)

(muffled screams)

Bear this significant to the country maid Jaquenetta.

There is...

Ooh!

..remunerathion.

(coins clink)

Now will l look to his remunerathion.

''Remunerathion''!

O, that's the Latin word for three farthings.

My good knave Costard, exceedingly well met.

Pray you, sir,...

..(squeaks in Spanish accent) how much carnation ribbon...

..may a man buy for a remunerathion?

What's a remuner... ?

- What's a remunerathion? - (laughs)

Marry, sir, halfpenny-farthing.

Why then, three-farthing-worth of silk.

Ah, l thank your worship. God be wi'you.

Stay, slave! l must employ thee.

As thou wilt win my favour, Do one thing for me that l shall entreat.

- When, sir? - This afternoon.

- l will do it, sir. Fare you well. - Thou knowest not what it is.

l shall know, sir, when l have done it.

Why, villain, thou must know first.

l will come to you tomorrow morning.

lt must be done this afternoon. Hark, slave, it is but this:

(softly) lt is but this:

..The Princess comes to hunt here in the park,...

..And in her train there is a gentle lady;

..When tongues speak sweetly, then they name her name,...

..And Rosaline they call her.

Euch!

Ask for her...

..And to her white hand see thou do commend this sealed-up counsel. Mm?

(coughs)

There's thy guerdon: go!

Guerdon, O sweet guerdon!

(squeaks) Better than remunerathion.

O, elevenpence-farthing better.

(squeaks) Most sweet guerdon!

l shall do it, sir, in print!

(laughter)

(honking)

Whoa! Ha-ha.

(whoops)

Pray you which is the head lady?

Thou shalt know her, fellow, by the rest that have no heads.

(chuckles) Which is the greatest lady, the highest?

- (baby voice) The thickest and the tallest. - The thickest and the tallest. Oh!

Are not you the chief woman? Hm?

- You are the thickest here. (snorts) - (screams)

- What's your will, sir? What's your will? - Hm.

- l have a letter. - (clucking)

- (murmurs of surprise) - Whoa.

A letter from Monsieur Berowne to one Lady Rosaline.

Boyet, you can carve: Break up this capon.

l am bound to serve.

This letter is mistook; it importeth none here.

lt is writ to Jaquenetta.

l do affect the very ground, which is base,...

..where her shoe, which is baser,...

..guided by her foot, which is basest, doth tread.

(excited moans)

''Thine in the dearest design of industry, Don Adriano de Armado.''

- (laughs) - Did you ever hear better?

Thou, fellow, a word.

Who gave thee this letter?

Ah! l told you: my lord... l...

To whom shouldst thou give it?

- From my lord to my lady. - From which lord to which lady?

From my lord Berowne, a good master of mine, to a lady of France that he called...

..Rosalini? Ah!

Thou hast mistaken his letter.

Come, friends, away!

Guerdon.

Ah!

Remunerathion.

(whoops and laughs)

Thou monster lgnorance, how deformed dost thou look!

Madam, he hath never fed of the dainties that are bred in a book.

He hath not eat paper, as it were;

..he hath not drunk ink.

His intellect is not replenished;

..he is only an animal,...

(Nathaniel chuckles)

(clucking)

..only sensible in the... duller... parts.

And such barren plants are set before us that we thankful should be -

..Which we of taste and feeling are -

..for those parts that do... fructify in us more than he.

Good Master Parson,...

..be so good as to read me this letter.

lt was given me by Costard and sent me from Don Armado.

l beseech you read it.

What are the contents?

What, my soul,...

..verses?

Ay, madam, and very learned.

Let me hear a staff,...

..a stanza, a verse.

### Some day, when l'm awfully low

### When the world is cold

### l will feel a glow just thinking of you

### And the way you look tonight

### Oh, but you're lovely With your smile so warm

### And your cheek so soft

### There is nothing for me but to love you

### Just the way you look tonight

### With each word your tenderness grows

### Tearing my fear apart

### And that laugh that wrinkles your nose

### Touches my foolish heart

### Lovely Never, never change

### Keep that breathless charm

### Won't you please arrange it? Cos l love you

### Just the way you look tonight

### Just the way you look

### To-

### ..night

(applause)

A rare talent!

This is a gift that l have - simple, simple; a foolish extravagant spirit,...

..full of forms, figures, shapes, objects, ideas,...

..apprehensions, motions, revolutions.

These are begot in the ventricle of memory,...

..nourished in the womb of pia mater and...

..delivered upon the mellowing of occasion.

But the gift is good in those in whom it is acute,...

..and l am thankful for it.

Madam, l praise the Lord for you, and so may my parishioners,...

..for their daughters are well tutored by you,...

..and their sons profit very greatly under you.

But, domicella...

..virgin,...

- ..was this directed to you? - Ay, madam.

l will overglance the superscript.

''To the snow-white hand of the most beauteous Lady... Rosaline.''

l will look again on the intellect of the letter,...

..for the nomination of the party writing to the person written unto:

..''Your Ladyship's in all desired employment, Berowne.''

Sir Nathaniel, this Berowne is one of the votaries with the King,...

..and here he hath framed a letter to a sequent of the stranger princess,...

..which accidentally, or by way of progression, hath miscarried.

Trip and go, my sweet,...

..deliver this paper into the royal hand of the King; it may concern much.

Have with thee, my girl.

Madam, you have done this in the fear of God, very religiously.

Mm, but to return to the...

### Verses

Did they please you, Sir Nathaniel?

Marvellous well.

(hums melodically)

l beseech your... society.

And thank you too, for society,...

..saith the text, is the happiness of life.

By the Lord,...

..this love is as mad as...

..Ajax.

(baas)

lt kills sheep,...

..it kills me -

..l a sheep.

l will not love;

..if l do, hang me! l'faith, l will not.

O, but her eye!

By this light, but for her eye, l would not love her -

..yes, for her two eyes.

Well, l do nothing in the world but lie, and lie in my throat.

By heaven, l do love, and it hath taught me to rhyme, and to be melancholy.

And here is part of my rhyme, and here my melancholy.

Well, she hath one o'my sonnets already.

The clown bore it, the fool sent it, and the lady hath it.

Sweet clown, sweeter fool,...

..sweetest lady!

By the world, l would not care a pin if the other three were in.

(door opens)

(Berowne) Whoa!

Eeeh!

- (crash) - Aahh!

(whoops)

### How glad the many millions Of Anabels and Lillians would be

Mmm...

### To capture me

### But you with your persistence

### You wore down my resistance

### l fell

### And it was swell

### l'm your big and brave and handsome Romeo

### How you won me, l shall never

### Never

### Know...

(door opens)

Now, in thy likeness, one more fool appear!

### lt's not that you're attractive

### But oooh My heart grew active

### When you came in-

- Ah! - ### ..to view

(door opens)

### l've got a crush on you, sweetie pie

### All the day and night-time hear me sigh

### l never had the least notion

### That l could fall with so much emotion

### Could you coo

### Could you care

### For a country cottage we could share

### The world will pardon my mush

### Cos l've got a crush, my baby, on you

### The world will pardon my mush

### Cos l've got a crush, my baby

### My baby

### A crush, my baby, on you

(both) Ugh!

Dumaine,...

..thy love is far from charity,...

..You may look pale, but l should blush, huh?

l know, To be o'erheard and taken napping so.

Come, sir, you blush!

As his your case is such.

You chide at him, offending twice as much.

l have been closely shrouded in this bush,...

..And marked you both, and for you both did blush.

l heard your guilty rhymes, observed your fashion,...

..Saw sighs reek from you, noted well your... passion.

What will Berowne say when that he shall hear...

..Faith so infringed which such zeal did swear?

How will he scorn, how will he spend his wit!

How will he triumph, leap and laugh at it!

For all the wealth that ever l did see,...

..l would not have him know so much by me.

Ah, good my liege, l pray thee pardon me.

Whoa.

Ah!

Good heart, what grace hast thou thus to reprove...

..These worms for loving, that art most in love?

Are we betrayed thus to thy over-view?

Not you to me,...

..but l betrayed by you;

..l that am honest,...

..l that hold it sin...

..To break the vow l am engaged in -

..l am betrayed by keeping company With men like you,...

..men of inconstancy.

When shall you see me write a thing in rhyme?

Or groan for Joan?

When shall you hear that l Will praise a hand, a foot, a face, an eye,...

..A gait, a state, a brow, a breast, a waist, A leg, a limb -

Soft! Whither away so fast?

God bless the King!

- (King) What present hast thou there? - Some certain treason.

What makes treason here?

l beseech your grace let this letter be read.

Our person misdoubts it; 'twas treason, he said.

- Berowne,... - (giggles nervously)

..read it over.

- Where hadst thou it? - Of Costard.

- Where hadst thou it? - Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio.

- Don Arbnar, Carbonara... the Don. - (wails hysterically)

How now, what is in you? Why dost thou tear it?

A toy, my liege, a toy. Your grace need not fear it.

lt did move him to passion and therefore let's hear it.

Ah-ah!

lt is Berowne's writing... and here is his name.

Ah, you whoreson loggerhead, you were born to do me shame.

Guilty, my lord, guilty:

..l confess,...

- ..l confess. - What?

That you three fools lacked me fool to make up the mess.

He, he and you - and you, my liege - and l Are pick-purses in love...

..and we deserve to die.

O, dismiss this audience and l shall tell you more.

- Now the number is even. - True, true, we are four.

Will these turtles be gone?

Hence, sirs, away!

Walk aside the true folk and let the traitors stay.

(squeals with delight)

(rhythmically) Have at you then, affection's men-at-arms.

Consider what you first did swear unto:

..To fast, to study and to see no woman -

..Flat treason 'gainst the kingly state of youth.

Say, can you fast?

Your stomachs are too young, And abstinence engenders maladies.

For when would you, my liege, or you, or you,...

..Have found the ground of study's excellence...

..Without the beauty of a woman's face?

From women's eyes this doctrine l derive:

..They are the ground, the books, the academes,...

..From whence doth spring the true Promethean fire.

O, we have made a vow to study, lords,...

..And in that vow we have forsworn our books;

..For when would you, my liege, or you, or you,...

..ln leaden contemplation have found out...

..Such fiery numbers as the prompting eyes...

..Of beauty's tutors have enriched you with?

Other slow arts entirely keep the brain,...

..And therefore, finding barren practisers, Scarce show a harvest of their heavy toil;

..But love, first learned in a lady's eyes,...

..Lives not alone immured in the brain But with the motion of all elements...

..Courses as swift as thought in every power...

..And gives to every power a double power,...

..Above their functions and their offices.

lt adds a precious seeing to the eye:

..A lover's eyes will gaze an eagle blind.

A lover's ear will hear the lowest sound.

Love's feeling is more soft and sensible...

..Than are the tender horns of cockled snails.

Love's tongue proves dainty Bacchus gross in taste,...

..For valour, is not Love a Hercules, Still climbing trees in the Hesperides?

Subtle as Sphinx, as sweet and musical...

..As bright Apollo's lute, strung with his hair.

And when Love speaks,...

..the voice of all the gods...

..Make heaven drowsy...

..with the harmony.

Heaven.

l'm in heaven.

### And my heart beats so that l can hardly speak

### And l seem to find the happiness l seek

### When we're out together

### Dancing

### Cheek

### To cheek

(all) ### Heaven

### l'm in heaven

### And the cares that hang around me through the week

### Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak

### When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek

### Dance with me

### l want my arm about you

### And the charm about you

### Will carry me through

(all) ### To heaven

### l'm in heaven

### And my heart beats so that l can hardly speak

### And l seem to find the happiness l seek

### When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek

### Heaven

### l'm in heaven

### And my heart beats so that l can hardly speak

### And l seem to find the happiness l seek

### When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek

Shall we...

..resolve to woo these girls of France?

And win them too!

Therefore let us devise some entertainment for them in their tents.

First, from the park let us conduct them thither.

Then homeward every man attach the hand of his fair mistress.

ln the afternoon we will with some strange pastime solace them,...

..Such as the shortness of the time can shape;

..For revels, dances, masques, and merry hours...

..Forerun fair Love, strewing her way with flowers.

Away, away! No time shall be omitted That will betime and may by us be fitted.

Yes! Yes!

(newsreader) While Europe braces itself for catastrophe, in Navarre all is quiet.

Rumours abound that the King's oath was broken by some of the natives.

Not much evidence of study, that's for sure.

Hello? What's he up to?

Discussing what to do in the blackout perhaps.

And these gifts?

The Princess and her ladies have had a visit from the postman. Love letters?

Surely the King's men can't be involved.

Rumours, too, of a gala entertainment for this very evening.

Was dancing included in the oath? l don't think so.

But if the King plans a party, everyone must follow.

Who better to arrange an exotic night than an exotic knight? Armado's your man.

With the help of Holofernia, heaving the hurrahs into a heaven of hysterical fun,...

..who knows what these revellers will dream up?

(applause, shouts of ''bravo'')

Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart.

Look you what l have from the loving King.

But, Rosaline, you have a favour too:

..Who sent it? And what is it?

Nay, l have verses too, l thank Berowne.

O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter!

Anything like?

(all laugh)

But, Katherine, what was sent to you from fair Dumaine?

Madam, this glove.

This... and these pearls to me sent Longaville.

O, we are wise girls to mock our lovers so.

They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.

Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.

Arm, wenches, arm!

Encounters mounted are Against your peace.

Love doth approach disguised, Armed in arguments: you'll be surprised.

Under the shade of a sycamore l thought to close mine eyes some half an hour,...

..When, lo, to interrupt my purposed rest,...

..Toward that shade l might behold addressed...

- ..The King and his companions. - (Katherine squeals)

Warily l stole into a neighbour thicket by...

..And overheard what you shall overhear:

..That, by and by, disguised they will be here.

- Ooh! - Their herald is a pretty knavish page.

But what, but what, come they to visit us?

They do, they do, and are apparelled thus,...

..Like masked delights or revellers, as l guess.

Their purpose is to parley, court and dance,...

..and every one his love-suit will advance Unto his several mistress,...

..which they'll know By favours several which they did bestow.

And will they so?

The gallants shall be tasked;

..For, ladies, we will every one be masked,...

..And not a man of them shall have the grace, despite of suit, to see a lady's face.

Hold, take thou this and give me thine, So shall Berowne take me for Rosaline.

And change you favours too;

..so shall your loves Woo contrary,...

..deceived by these removes.

Come on, then, wear the favours most in sight.

- But in this changing what is your intent? - The effect of my intent is to cross theirs.

They do it but in mockery merriment, And mock for mock is only my intent!

The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen...

..As is the razor's edge invisible,...

..Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen.

(Boyet) By changing partners for the masquerade...

..they'll undermine the gentlemen's charade.

(Rosaline) ### There may be trouble ahead

### But while there's moonlight And music and love and romance

### Let's face the music and dance

### Before the fiddlers have fled

### Before they ask us to pay the bill

### And while we still have the chance

### Let's face the music and dance

(men) ### Soon we'll be without the moon

### Humming a different tune

### And then

(women) ### There may be teardrops to shed

### So while there's moonlight And music and love and romance

### Let's face the music and dance, dance

### Let's face the music and dance

(all) ### Soon we'll be without the moon

### Humming a different tune

### And then

### There may be teardrops to shed

### So while there's moonlight And music and love and romance

### Let's face the music and dance, dance

### Let's face the music and dance

Are these the breed of wits so wondered at?

But will you hear? The King is my love sworn.

And quick Berowne hath plighted faith to me.

And Longaville was for my service born.

Dumaine is mine as sure as bark on tree.

Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear: lmmediately they will again be here...

..ln their own shapes, for it can never be They will digest this harsh indignity.

- Will they return? - O, they will, God knows.

Avaunt, perplexity! What shall we do...

..lf they return in their own shapes to woo?

Good madam, if by me you'll be advised...

..Let's mock them still, as well known as disguised.

Let us complain to them what fools were here.

Ladies, withdraw. The gallants are at hand.

(screaming)

Fair sir, God save you.

- Where's... Where's the Princess? - Gone... to her tent.

Please it your majesty Command me any service to her thither?

That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.

l will; and so will she,...

..l know, my lord.

(giggling)

(clears throat)

We came to visit you and purpose now To lead you to our court.

Vouchsafe it then.

Now, by my maiden honour, yet as pure As the unsullied lily, l protest,...

..A world of torments though l should endure,...

..l would not yield to be your house's guest,...

..So much l hate a breaking cause to be Of heavenly oaths, vowed with integrity.

O,...

..you have lived in desolation here, Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame.

Not so, my lord. lt is not so, l swear.

We have had pastimes here and pleasant game.

How, madam?

ln truth, my lord.

Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state.

Madam, speak true!

Here they stayed an hour And talked apace;

..and in that hour they did not bless us with one happy word.

(giggling)

Which of the visors was it that you wore?

- Where? - What visors?

- Why demand you this? - That visor:

..that superfluous case that hid the worse and showed the better face.

We were descried. They'll mock us now downright.

Let us confess and turn it to a jest.

Amazed, my lord? Why looks your highness sad?

Why look you pale?

l see the trick.

Here was a consent, Knowing aforehand of our merriment,...

- ..To dash it like a Christmas comedy. - (giggling)

Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight zany,...

..Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some Dick...

..That smiles his cheek in years and knows the trick...

..To make my lady laugh when she's disposed,...

..Told our intents before; which, once disclosed, the ladies did change favours...

..and then we, following the signs, wooed but the sign of she.

Oh!

(MC) Ladies and gentlemen, in honour of Her Highness...

..Costard and the people of Navarre will give a special performance in one minute.

Berowne, they will shame us.

- Let them not approach. - We are shame-proof, my lord;

..and 'tis some policy to have one show worse than the King's and his company.

(newsreader) lt's not the first time the ladies have turned the tables.

But their cunning plan to change masks, change partners and dance...

..made those red-faced boys really face the music.

But all is forgiven as oaths are forgotten.

And it's show time!

''The Pageant Of The Nine Worthies'' is given a rousing treatment by Navarre.

lt's high jinks all round. Whoops! Careful, sir. Hm, bet that hurt.

Masks and faces make this crowd forget the grim events of the outside world.

Hey, look out, Johnny.

No more study for these men.

They're in the love business, and there's no business like it.

But perhaps some might disagree.

(applause)

### The butcher, the baker, the grocer, the clerk

### Are secretly unhappy men because

### The butcher, the baker, the grocer, the clerk

### Get paid for what they do, but no applause

### They'd gladly bid their dreary jobs goodbye

### For anything theatrical

### And why?

### There's no business

### Like show business

### Like no business l know

### Everything about it is appealing

### Everything the traffic will allow

### Nowhere could you get that happy feeling

### When you are stealing

### That extra bow

### There's no people like show people

### They smile when they are low

### Even with a turkey that you know will fold

### You may be stranded out in the cold

### Still you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold

### Let's go on with the show

### Let's go on with the show!

(rhythmically) ### There's no business like show business

### Like no business l know

### Everything about it is appealing

### Everything the traffic will allow

### Nowhere could you get that happy feeling

### When you are stealing that extra bow

### There's no people like show people

### They smile when they are low

### Even with a turkey that you know will fold

### You may be stranded out in the cold

### Still you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold

### Let's go on with the show

### There's no business like show business

### lf you tell me it's so

### You get word before the show has started

### That your favourite uncle died at dawn

### Top of that, your ma and pa have parted

No! Mama, papa! Mama, papa!

### You're broken-hearted

### But you go on

### There's no people like show people

### They smile when they are low

### Yesterday they told you you would not go far

### That night you open and there you are

### Next day on your dressing room they've hung a star

### Let's go on with the show

### Let's go

### On with the

### Show!

(rapturous applause)

God save you, madam.

Welcome, Mercade,...

..But that thou interrupt'st our merriment.

l am sorry, madam, for the news l bring ls heavy in my tongue.

The King,...

..your father -

Dead,...

..for my life!

Even so;

..my tale is told.

Worthies, away.

The scene begins to cloud.

How fares your majesty?

Boyet, prepare. l will away tonight.

- Madam, not so. l do beseech you, stay. - Prepare, l say.

l thank you, gracious lords, For all your fair endeavours, and entreat,..

..Out of a new-sad soul, that you vouchsafe...

..ln your rich wisdom to excuse or hide The liberal opposition of our spirits,...

..lf over-boldly we have borne ourselves ln the converse of breath.

Your gentleness Was guilty of it.

Farewell, worthy lord! A heavy heart bears not a nimble tongue.

Excuse me so, coming too short of thanks For your great suit so easily obtained.

The extreme parts of time extremely forms...

..All causes to the purpose of his speed And often at his very loose decides...

..That which long process could not arbitrate.

Though the mourning brow of progeny Forbid the smiling courtesy of love...

..The holy suit which fain it would convince,...

..yet, since love's argument was first on foot,...

..Let not the cloud of sorrow jostle it From what it purposed.

l understand you not. My griefs are double.

Honest plain words best pierce the ear of grief;

..And by these badges understand the King.

For your fair sakes have we neglected time,...

..Played foul play with our oaths.

Your beauty, ladies, Hath much deformed us,...

..fashioning our humours Even to the opposed end of our intents;

..And what in us hath seemed ridiculous.

Those heavenly eyes that look into those faults, suggested us to make them.

Therefore, ladies, Our love being yours,...

..the error that love makes ls likewise yours.

We have received your letters full of love, Your favours, the ambassadors of love,...

..And in our maiden counsel rated them At courtship, pleasant jest and courtesy,...

..As bombast and as lining to the time.

But more devout than this in our respects Have we not been;

..and therefore met your loves ln their own fashion, like a merriment.

- Our letters showed much more than jest. - So did our looks.

We did not quote them so.

Now, at the latest minute of the hour, Grant us your loves.

A time, methinks, too short To make a world-without-end bargain in.

No, no, my lord,...

..your grace is perjured much,...

..Full of dear guiltiness;

..and therefore this:

..lf for my love, as there is no such cause, You will do aught,...

..this shall you do for me:

..Your oath l will not trust, but go with speed...

..To some forlorn and naked hermitage.

There stay until the twelve celestial signs Have brought about the annual reckoning.

lf this austere insociable life change not your offer made in heat of blood;

..Then, at the expiration of the year, Come challenge me,...

..challenge me by these deserts,...

..And, by this virgin palm now kissing thine, l will be thine.

And, till that instance, shut My woeful self up in a mourning house,...

..Raining the tears of lamentation for the remembrance of my father's death.

Hence, hermit then -

..my heart... is in thy breast.

What says Maria?

At the twelvemonth's end...

..l'll change my black gown for a faithful friend.

l'll stay with patience,...

..but the time is long.

A twelvemonth and a day l'll mark no words that smooth-faced wooers say.

Come when the King doth to my lady come;

..Then, if l have much love,...

..l'll give you some.

l'll serve thee true and faithfully till then.

Yet swear not,...

..lest ye be forsworn again.

(laughs)

Mistress, look on me.

Behold the window of my heart, mine eye,...

..What humble suit attends thy answer there.

lmpose some service on me for thy love.

Oft have l heard of you, my lord Berowne, Before l saw you,...

..and the world's large tongue...

..Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks,...

..Full of comparisons and wounding flouts,...

..Which you on all estates will execute That lie within the mercy of your wit.

To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain...

..And therewithal to win me,...

..if you please -

..Without the which l am not to be won -

..You shall this twelvemonth term from day to day...

..Visit the speechless sick and still converse with groaning wretches;

..and your task shall be With all the fierce endeavour of your wit...

..To enforce the pained impotent to smile.

To move wild laughter in the throat of death? lt cannot be, it is impossible.

Mirth cannot move a soul in agony.

Why, that's the way to choke a gibing spirit,...

..Whose influence is begot of that loose grace...

..Which shallow laughing hearers give to fools.

A jest's prosperity lies in the ear Of him that hears it,...

..never in the tongue Of him that makes it.

Then, if sickly ears,...

..Deafed with the clamour of their own dear groans,...

..Will hear your idle scorns, continue then,...

..And l will have you and that fault withal;

..But if they will not, throw away that spirit,...

..And l shall find you empty of that fault,...

..Right joyful of your reformation.

A twelvemonth?

Well,...

..befall what will befall,...

..l'll jest a twelvemonth...

..in an hospital.

Ay, sweet my lord, and so l take my leave.

No, madam, we will bring you on your way.

Our wooing doth not end like an old play: Jack hath not Jill.

Come, sir, it wants a twelvemonth and a day,...

..And then 'twill end.

That's too long for a play.

Sir.

### Our romance won't end on a sorrowful note

### Though by tomorrow you're gone

### The song is ended, but as the songwriter wrote

### The melody lingers on

### They may take you from me

### l'll miss your fond caress

### But though they take you from me

### l'll still possess

### The way you wear your hat

### The way you sip your tea

### The memory of all that

### No, no, they can't take that away from me

### The way your smile just beams

### The way you sing off key

### The way you haunt my dreams

### No, no, they can't take that away from me

### We may never, never meet again

### On the bumpy road to love

### Still l'll always, always keep the memory of

### The way you hold your knife

### The way we danced till three

### The way you changed my life

### No, no, they can't take that away from me

### No, they can't take that away from me

### We may never, never meet again

### On the bumpy road to love

### Still l'll always, always keep the memory of

### The way you hold your knife

### The way we danced till three

### The way you've changed my life

### No, no, they can't take that away from me

### No, they can't take that away

### They can't take that away

### They can't take that away

### No, they can't take that away

### From

### Me

(Berowne) And when Love speaks,...

..the voice of all the gods Make heaven drowsy with the harmony.

From women's eyes this doctrine l derive:

.. They are the books, the arts, the academes,...

.. That show, contain and nourish all the world.

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